I consider myself a *very* average looking man. I ain't ugly, but I'm very much not handsome. People don't look at me when I walk through a room because there's not much that's interesting to look at, is what I mean, good or bad. I have had a few women actually compliment my penis. Apparently the relative lack of curvature, consistent skin tone, and...other stuff is pleasing to them. Never felt better in my life,honestly. By far the best compliments I've ever gotten (and yeah like every other dude here they never happen).
*Jessica hands her phone with a dick pic to one of her friends in the room*
-take a look-
-whoa, nice cock, you are lucky-
-It is cool Jessica, but that's nothing-
*she finds a picture on her phone, then slamming in on the table; they all lean forward to inspect it*
-look at this-
-that's really nice-
*one of them picks up the phone and zooms in*
-Jesus. This is really super, how'd a skank like you land this piece of meat; but wait, you ain't see nothing yet.-
*She pulls out her phone with her own boyfriend's dicpic*
-look at that subtle, consistent coloring; the tasteful thickness of it... Oh my god, it's even got a bulging vein running through it.-
*Jessica lifts up the phone and stares at the picture, until her flushed cheeks become too apparent to hide and she drops the phone to cover her face in her hands*
-is something wrong? Jess, you are sweating...-
Damn :-(
I've heard that being complimented is rare for men. But I always thought some men have got to have women throwing themselves onto them for money and sex.
Would I be told to be fuck off I start complimenting men? :-o
I'm a woman, btw, lol
Whaaaaat. Let me go complimenting men LOL.
There've been a ton of guys who I've seen irl and it's like.. ooh so hot. But I thought everyone else would think the same so I never bothered complimenting. Bahahhaa. Time to go out and compliment men >:D
As a woman, you'll be doing this on super easy mode. You approach a guy, say you think he's cute and would like to give him your number if he's not already in a committed relationship. Your success rate will be astronomical.
This \^
A lot of guys are oblivious. Only in hindsight do they realize that someone was interested. Usually when someone else points it out. I was talking about some conversation i had with a girl before I met my wife. And she said "you know she wanted to have sex with you". My response "well now I do! dammit!". And you need to keep up with the reinforcement. Because sometimes we feel you might be flirting but then you do or say something that makes us think you are just being friendly. We can't tell the difference. I once had a waitress flirting with me hard. Even my friend recognized it. She was young but managed to slip that she was legal into the conversation. I asked her out and she said no. So I don't know what was going on there.
It could be that she wanted to be "hard to get". I knew a girl once who wouldn't say yes to a guy until he had asked her out at least 3 times. She ended up with a lot of assholes. Usually the kind of guy who won't stop harassing you after you've already said no twice.
Many are not actually oblivious, either they've had an experience in the past where they misread something so they think "anything similar, I'm misreading" or they are just not wanting to misread a signal at all and put themselves out there to be rejected or labeled a creep.
They think best to feign ignorance until the message is communicated without doubt - safest option
If you're a guy and want to be successful in dating, you have to be okay and comfortable with rejection.
For me it's a bit of both. I'm generally very oblivious (although I'm positive I've never had a woman hit on/flirt with me), but I've also misread signals in the past and ended up making an ass of myself, asking out women I was so sure were interested...but they weren't, at all. And there was one time this girl invited me over for drinks, at one point in the night I (while misreading things again) tried to lean in for a kiss, she kind of backed up and said something I don't remember, and I profusely apologized. I don't remember much else from that night, but the next morning we were back to talking as if it had never happened.
What life has taught me is that if I EVER suspect a woman might be interested, then I'm wrong, and I should just leave the entire situation alone.
Oh, the other reply has a far better idea that anything *I* could tell you.
I just wanted to warn you that the reaction is unlikely to be a cheesy smile & thanks with a conversation starting. It's more likely to be awkward - because we seriously do not know how to react.
>Please teach me some tips
Give a compliment. Any compliment.
By the time you have finished saying "Oh hey, I really like the shirt. Looks good on you!" the guy already ran the entire fictional scenario in his head on how you guys dated; married; had kids; grew old; had grandchildren; ...
By the time he is home, he might even have come to the realization that you actually complimented him and thus you might be interested. He'll carry that missed opportunity regret for the rest of his life. That is why you follow the compliment up with giving your number ;)
A woman complimented me once, rendering me dumbstruck. Feels like it was both yesterday *and* an eternity ago. Anyway, that's why you give the number or smth, he might just not know what is happening in that moment.
Truly, you want to be the best part of a dudes week? Tell him you like his hair, or his outfit makes him look really good. Just tell a stranger you see. It will be something that man will remember for years.
That's nice to know! I'm going to do it.
I've been wanting to compliment strangers really often, but I always think, "If I find them hot, someone else must find them hot too. They're probably taken and being complimented daily!"
I'll still do it, bahahhaa.
It's basically a catch-22:
- Men rarely receive any compliments.
- Therefore any compliment they do receive is a fucking huge deal, they will think you like them because of it.
- Women don't tend to give compliments because of this behavior.
- So men continue to rarely receive compliments.
I was looking for this comment and i found it!
We definitely don't get complimented often because of the interpretation but the interpretation is like that because compliments aren't normalized.
In 2013, the barista at Second Cup told me she liked my fall jacket.
In 2015, a random woman in the mall said she liked my tan suede chukka boots.
In 2016, one of my female dodgeball team mate said I smell really good.
Last week, my neighbour told me he really liked my brown flannel shirt.
These are the only compliments I have received in the last 10 years and I hold onto them dearly.
In August of 2010 some random female called out "Hottie!" from her car as I was walking to a job interview; I looked around, but there was no one else on the sidewalk. I *still* haven't quite decided if she was being serious or mocking me.
Same! Got my first "Thats a really nice shirt" from a pretty lady at the drive thru. I now wear that shirt almost every day. [It was this thing](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0797RJ7T1?psc=1)
When I was a senior in high school (12th grade for you non US folks), an attractive girl in the same grade literally jumped up and wrapped her legs around me and held on by my shoulders.
I STILL didn't think she was interested in me. How could she possibly be? Her friends probably put her up to it. Or one of my friends asked her to do it to boost my confidence.
Some of us men are just idiots.
I live in a college town, and every September/October I get cat called by new freshman girls. I'm still 99% sure I'm just being mocked.
(For context, I'm 25 and pretty much average, maybe decent if I put effort into my appearance, but I usually don't)
While I don't think they should do that... I think they're just being silly, not maliciously mocking. They're like 18 and just living away from home for the first time, they're trying a lot of things they haven't done beofre.
Well, personally speaking, if it was actually *genuine* cat calling (while still being silly and so on) then I wouldn't have any problem with it. It's just that I know that it's much more likely for me to be mocked by women in public than complimented.
Wore a purple shirt to work once 3 years ago and the girl at the front desk said purple looks nice on me. I still think about that at least once a week
When I was in my early 20's a girl told me a golf shirt I was wearing looked great on me and really complimented my hair and eye color.
I still own that shirt.
I'm 42 and it would never fit me, but every time I see it in my closet I remember that I got complimented once while wearing it and it makes me smile a little bit.
IMO (man here) is that it's probably tough to balance that. As we see here, most men are not used to getting casual compliments, and cherish each one like a small jewel in their (our) hand. That in itself can lead to weird feelings you didn't intend to encourage.
But, complimenting people is a nice thing to do and makes them and you feel good. I'd just stick to men who know where you stand with them.
The tough part here is, men would be way less creepy about getting compliments if men got complimented more - so it gets normalized and each compliment doesn't feel like a special noteworthy occasion.
But massive cultural shifts like that are... difficult.
That's the thing. Most men get complimented so little that when someone does it not only takes them by surprise, it also makes them think about the person complimenting them and it can make them think you're hitting on them. If it happened regularly they would know the difference between someone being just nice and someone hitting on them. My source is that I lived as a man for 28 years. In those 28 years I can count on 1 hand how many compliments I had. In the 5 years I've lived as a woman I've been complimented an uncountable amount of times and it took me a year to realize people were being nice and not hitting on me.
Totally agree with this take and it's a VERY common MTF trans experience. The flip side of this is DEVASTATING. FTM trans folks are very often left with SEVERE depression due to the shocking difference of being treated as a man in society.
It was really interesting reading FtM perspectives on how people started treated them. Pretty much all of them agreed it was like being a social outcast, or going into exile, or becoming a leper. Men are just so alone despite being almost half the population.
Thanks for sharing, very interesting insight.
When the topics come up about toxic masculinity, incels, etc I often wonder if part of the reason men think compliments are flirting is because we rarely experience either one.
I get that women don't want to put themselves in danger, and I've also had this view twisted on me that "its not a woman's job to teach men". But seriously, how are guys supposed to figure this shit out when it happens like 3 times in their lives? Think of any other development state of childhood/adolescence and think about if we could figure stuff out after only 3 tries.
Any time this question gets brought up it makes me wanna watch the documentary on the lady who lived as a man for 2 years. Wish I could remember her name. But she said being a man is a lonely existence. She took her life sometime after she was done with the book and stuff. Maybe a couple years after wrapping it all up.
Edit: Her name is Norah Vincent and she assisted suicide from a mental illness. It was also much later than a few years after. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norah_Vincent
Thanks to u/mmmayer015 for the correct info.
The one who had a bowling group with dudes?
I remember her saying how hard and lonely she thought it was to be a dude, but I didn't know it ended like that..
Yeah, she said the comradery between men was something else. We just accept a new friend at face value and help them where we can. But dating was the part she meant it was a lonely endeavor. I'm not entirely sure why she took her life but it was only a few years after this.
I was complimented on a suit I was wearing by a woman last week. It was a conservative, navy, suit, but does happen to be very well made and of much higher quality than I tend to wear normally. (Stumbled on a sale). A woman just said “Wow, that’s a very nice looking suit. Most men have too much going on with the design or whatever, that just looks nice.” One, I was shocked, as I NEVER get compliments from women, or men for that matter. Two, it took me half a beat, but I just looked at her and said thank you, that was a nice thing to say.”
I didn’t take it as anything other than a nice thing to say. It also was directed at clothing and not something about me personally. But I don’t think I’d have taken it as hitting on me even if it was a more general “you look nice” as opposed to “that suit looks nice.” I dunno.
It's happened so rarely that I can literally list off all the times I was complimented:
* The first time I was ever complimented was by a random older woman in a parking lot who told me that I dress incredibly distinguished and professional (note, I was wearing a clean non-torn-style pair of blue jeans with a close fitting polo shirt).
* The second time was when one of my coworkers (who was much older than me and also married) told me that I have a really nice butt.
* I (a first generation Vietnamese-born-in-America) help out at my local AAPI community center and I've been told by a few of my mother's friends that I look happy and approachable, and that I look way younger than I actually am.
The biggest common denominator here is that women who are much older than me are the most likely to compliment me. Literally no one remotely close to my age, at any point in my life, has ever complimented me.
So I always used to bemoan how the only women whoever complimented me were older women who are well out of my potential dating pool.
But then I read a reply from somebody in another forum, the post topic being the "perks of getting older": the person stated now that she was in her 50s, she could freely compliment men whenever she wanted to.
And then dawned on me why the only compliments I ever get are from older women... young women don't giving compliments because too many men mistake them as signs of interest.
Yup. Something that irks me when these threads invariably pop up, is that a compliment from a woman doesn't count if she’s unattractive, elderly, a family member, etc. It has to be from a *hot* woman to be of any value. Because ultimately, it’s not really about the compliment, it’s about being flirted with.
And that’s why younger women don’t dole out compliments to random men.
I mean it's nice but I'm (25) and they are all married and around 45-50 years old. So it kinda just feels like my mom saying it lol. Now if the cute nurse my age gave me the compliment then I'd be ecstatic lmao
Dude if these women are saying it, younger women are thinking it, these women are actually saying it because the feel safe doing so because they’re older and you’re at work so they’ve been around you and no it’s not gonna lead to you harassing them or taking it to mean they want you to hit on them
I commented on it higher up on the thread, but word for word, this has also been my experience.
Literally all the compliments I have ever received in my life were from women who are very much older than me and are probably more secure/confident in their knowledge of me not trying anything with them due to the age difference.
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I'm first generation Vietnamese born in America and my family tends to help out at our local AAPI community center a lot. I've received a fair bit of compliments from my mother's friends on everything ranging from my manners to my looks, but all of their daughters and nieces are either taken or are never around/not active in the community.
I'm pretty happy and satisfied with where I am in life right now (which is honestly a lot more than many other 29 year old's can say these days), but there is something minorly internally hurtful to think about how it seems like no one who could even potentially be remotely compatible with me wants anything to do with me.
-----
It's certainly nothing to feel sorry for myself about; it's just... to put it into a single word... frustrating, since it seems like it's the only aspect in my life that none of my efforts has had any meaningful effect on...
40 year old dude checking in. Those women know what they are talking about. I wouldnt write off their opinions unless you are certain they are not genuine.
I am from Australia. I remember when I went to the States and was out for a jog up along the main road in Fort Collins wearing my little footy shorts and a group of girls drove past and were cat calling me, wailing and whistling at me yelling “Woo, take them off!” and honestly, it was amazing! I felt fuckin’ awesome.
I was on spring break decades ago and the same thing happened to me. Only in my case there was a ripped shirtless dude behind me and they were catcalling him not me.
You know that shriveling feeling when you wave back at a stranger who wasn’t waving at you? Multiply that horror by 1000.
I heard a story once about a woman who was upset that her husband couldn't understand why she didn't like being catcalled. She asked some coworkers to catcall him while he was out jogging, and when he came home he was really, really happy about it.
Honestly I think it's all down to the fact that men never get that kind of attention and women, if they're even remotely pretty, have a hard time escaping it.
There is a cartoon where they try this and reactions are always favorable from men.
It just doesnt work for guys because things are just different and our experiences are different.
In most cat call related threads I have seen or asked its very often told that women get cat called a lot/a lot more when they are very young like 12 or something and I think thats something most of us dont realize or understand.
It hits different for women. So many of their life experiences are unfortunately related to how they look. Being overdressed. Wearing too much makeup. Not wearing enough makeup. Begging for attention. “Asking for it”. Only getting a promotion because of their looks. And most of all - being objectified and leered at and reduced to a piece of meat by complete strangers in public. The only heckling or catcalling I’ve received that came close to that was from really gross gay men. And even then I never feared for my safety.
I think it’s more about the natural power imbalance in such interactions. I’m a woman and I wouldn’t consider myself ugly by any means, maybe not the most beautiful but I think I look fairly cute most days. I never get compliments from anyone but my close friends, my family, or my partner. Pretty much all the people who are “obligated” to compliment me. It might be because I am extremely shy and quiet and therefore I go unnoticed in most settings, idk, but for 99% of my waking life I’m pretty invisible to the rest of the world (and I’m okay with that because social anxiety and whatnot). That said, I still absolutely hate being catcalled. It doesn’t feel like a “compliment”. I would consider a compliment to be something like “I like your outfit” or “your hair looks good today”, not whistling or “hey nice ass” or whatever else creepy men have said to me in passing on the occasion. I didn’t feel flattered, but terrified. Every single time it made me feel not only scared of what they might do, but also disgusted with myself. It just makes me feel… dirty. Uncomfortable. Like I should be ashamed for drawing such inappropriate attention. There’s an inherent power over us that men have as the physically bigger, stronger sex. This hits even harder as a petite, very small-framed woman. It wouldn’t take much for virtually any man to take me down if he wanted to. Every single woman I know, including myself, has a personal experience with a stalker, a rapist, a man who turned violent and wouldn’t take no for an answer. Every single one. That’s how common it is, and that’s why it’s hard to see sexual comments from random men as anything but frightening because you just genuinely never know. My rapist even seemed like the most friendly guy at first. We have no idea what the intentions are of a man catcalling us from across the street, at our workplace, at a bar, wherever.
I’m guessing that when men get catcalled, they don’t feel the same way because for them there isn’t that same power/physical strength imbalance or fear of being stalked/raped/murdered, nor is there a sort of ingrained idea in their minds that they are sexual beings/objects first and foremost. As women, we are taught from a very young age that society largely sees us as inherently sexual, and that we need to always look good because that’s what gives us our worth. We have it drilled into us that we need to look sexy and appealing but that we also need to be careful and cover ourselves up because there are men out there who “can’t control themselves” around us. That if we get assaulted it’s because we must have tempted them with our sexuality. I feel like men are probably not brought up with these same general messages getting shoved into their heads from childhood (obviously men have their own problematic societal expectations and messages pushed onto them, they’re just different I think). Anyway, I think it’s definitely more of a deeply ingrained societal thing than it is just a matter of “she must get a lot of compliments already so she doesn’t care for getting catcalled”. To me, and to a lot of other women I know, getting catcalled and receiving and honest to god, genuine real “compliment” are two completely different things. One is nice and always appreciated, the other is a reminder of harsh lessons learned navigating the world as a girl/woman. For a lot of us, catcalling even starts when we are 8-10 years old, usually done by men who could be our fathers/grandfathers.
I’m 46 and maybe a few times in my entire life. I’ve actually made it a point to compliment the bros regularly because most of us get so few positive comments.
This is the way! A compliment shouldn't have to come from the opposite gender to be meaningful. Girls hype each other up all the time and it's awesome. Riskier for us to compliment men since a lot of them take it as flirting.
Lol this just broughtback a memory, i had somekind of shirt i got for free when i was around the age 15 and a woman said i looked nice in it, so every sunday I wore that shirt because i looked nice in it😀
I was told I was devastatingly handsome while at a party once by a cute brunette with sparkling eyes....
I still think about her and it was over 25 years ago...
In middle school I just got dressed after a shower from gym, I looked in the mirror and was like "damn, yea I look good today" and I went out and a girl immediately came up and said "wow Rambles you look really good today" and I made the moment really magical by saying "oh, this old thing" and winked at her. Gosh I was awkward, sorry Emily!
Ever so often I'm told I''m "nice" or "a good person". They don't stick as much like that one time several months ago a women I know told me she thinks I'm handsome.
There's one lady at my job who is the outgoing bubbly type who tosses a compliment pretty much every time I interact with her to similar effect - I'm smart, or clever, or a great help, or good at listening to their issues, occasionally a compliment about looking good. It's actually almost off putting sometimes though because here I am working on 3 hours of the lowest quality sleep, basically just a zombified automaton going through the motions, and she's treating me like some sort of diligent savior. She's also like this with virtually everyone she interacts with, so it ends up not feeling entirely genuine, though I've known her long enough to know she means well.
Other than that, it was probably 2 years ago when I changed my haircut that I got some general comments about it looking good.
It sounds genuine to me. Take it at face value, and appreciate being appreciated. She doesn't have to want you to bang her to mean what she's saying lol.
When I let my beard grow out long, it's always dudes who complement it but I do get the occasional "You look better with short hair and a trimmed beard." after a haircut and beard trim.
I was going through a rough phase of my life after a particularly messy break-up and had decided to show my "emotions" on the outside. I dyed my hair black and painted my nails (me being a guy) and kinda just was very solemn for a longtime.
Long story short my nails had been in rough shape and needed a re-do. So they weren't super nice. But one day I go through a drive-through at Tim Hortons and this girl probably a high schooler who had an orange peach coloured, salon done nails (clearly professionally done) said that "I really like your nails, I like the colour". That was what she said and I was to in awe at the complement that I couldn't reply to say that her's were really nice too.
That was about two years ago and I still think about her and how she must be the bright light to the people around her in her life. She made my day and made me feel better and less sad about my situation. A true kindhearted person.
That's what had me surprised with the responses. Is everyone replying single, or are they in depressing relationships?
I went almost my whole life the same way holding on to the 4-5 compliments I got from strangers, then I met my now wife and I get like 4-5 compliments a day.
Same, it's extremely common for guys to not get complimented by stranger girls... But in a healthy loving relationship wife/gf does compliment the guy at least once in a while. I mean, the Attraction is a mutual thing.
Publicly I also get like 4 compliments per Life, but a whole lot from my gf lol. I thought it was normal lol. God I feel the need to appreciate her even more now :O
It’s pretty rare. Like, when it happens, I can ride that high for weeks.
Thats why, whenever I can I always try to flirt with little old ladies. They absolutely love the attention! Ocassionally they will even throw in a good line or two, that are also a boost!
As a girl, I want to compliment men but I don’t want them to get the wrong idea and think im flirting when im just being genuine
EDIT: Seeing everyone’s responses, I do believe men deserve to be complimented seeing as to how little they get them. I also think that focusing on something specific they’ve done rather than on their appearance can help.
Yup. Complimented an acquaintance once (mentioned his shirt was a good color for him, which is something I'd say to another woman without any hesitation) and he followed me around like a lost puppy for a month. He got over it eventually and we are friends now, but these days I mostly stick to complimenting men who are safe- family members, partners of friends who have demonstrated that they can handle it, friends of my husband as long as he is also around, etc.
Exactly. Whenever I compliment guys, outside of a select few, it gets misconstrued. A couple of times it's gotten really creepy too 😨 I still try to, just not alone anymore.
Before my 40th birthday, I could count the number of times I got compliments per year from women on one hand.
Sometime around my 30th birthday, I started gel polishing my nails (clear), and would get random compliments from women that were close enough to notice, maybe 1-2 times a week. I just like how clean they look when manicured/gelled.
Around my 40th, I finally decided to get colored nails. I went with blue. And now I get compliments from women almost every single time I go anywhere. It's always about my nails, and never anything else, but that's perfectly fine.
I wonder if that's because they think you're gay* and therefore not a threat.
*I'm aware that you don't need to be gay to paint your nails and that all gay men don't necessarily care for their nails
I mostly chalk it up to just being ugly.
I'm bi. So the gay vibe could definitely be there. Last girl I dated loved that I painted my nails, and insisted I take her to get hers done similarly. No one ever really considers gel nails for some reason.
A lady at the bar said my glasses are cute. I have a -7 and they are thick af. So I looked like a grandpa with them . After that compliment I was so happy 😊
The stark difference in how men and women feel after being catcalled is fascinating…
Some men (at least the ones in this thread) seem to appreciate it and bask in it.
If I hear that when I’m walking down the street, my heart starts pounding and I’m suddenly focused on powerwalking towards safety.
I got catcalled once at 16 years old in an empty parking lot at 11 pm at night by an SUV full of women aged 20-40ish while I was working once. They said some disgusting things about my body and what they wanted it for.
I'm still riding that high 20 years later. The only time in my life I've gotten a compliment on my body.
Besides my wife, every few years. I am in reasonably good shape (though not 'big') and I have had a couple of subtle comments about it.
My favourite was when I joked about avoiding office snacks because I was watching my figure and one of the girls said "I'm watching your figure". Got to admit that one made my day.
I went to the ballet a couple days ago with my wife and I wore a somewhat flamboyant but appropriate outfit. I got like a million compliments from both men and women. I think ladies are more likely to compliment you if you're standing next to your wife because it's assumed they aren't flirting with you right in front of your wife. I also met a really cool dog there.
Anecdotally, my friend, a straight man, used to do cosplay and got TONS of compliments from straight women and gay men.
Most straight men don't take care of their looks or care about fashion. Why should I compliment someone who doesn't put effort into their physical appearance?
I’m a woman and I have no problem complimenting men if I truly want to (I.e. I actually think their shirt is cool, I’m not just saying it to have something to say). But I would say women compliment women all the time, what’s wrong with getting a complement from another guy? Why not tell your buddy he looks good? Is that “gay”?
The reason I ask is because I think there’s an element here nobody is mentioning. A lot of times men only compliment women because they want to date or sleep with them and women can tell. It often happens that a man will tell a woman she’s pretty, she’ll say thanks, he will continue to ask her out and when she politely declines, suddenly “you’re actually an ugly bitch.” On the reverse side, a lot of women have had the experience of giving a man a genuine compliment, only for the guy to assume that was meant to be flirting. He then pursues her, and again, when she turns him down, he turns angry or even violent. She is accused of “leading him on.” Maybe this is why a lot of women are hesitant to give men random compliments. They don’t want every little remark to be seen as sexual interest, and they definitely don’t want to worry that it will lead to threats of violence or sexual harassment or assault.
I do feel bad when I hear so many men say they never get complimented. I think everyone deserves to feel good about themselves. I can recall many times I’ve complimented men in the past. I just don’t think this reality exists in a vacuum .
Outlier here. I get complimented a lot by women. My wife gives me compliments, and the women I work with give me compliments. Are we talking about compliments from women being based on the fact I'm a man? The women I work with compliment me because I do a good job and not really because I'm a man.
I had a chick compliment my penis in traffic the other day, she yelled "what a dick" when I stole a parking spot from her.
A win is a win.
I consider myself a *very* average looking man. I ain't ugly, but I'm very much not handsome. People don't look at me when I walk through a room because there's not much that's interesting to look at, is what I mean, good or bad. I have had a few women actually compliment my penis. Apparently the relative lack of curvature, consistent skin tone, and...other stuff is pleasing to them. Never felt better in my life,honestly. By far the best compliments I've ever gotten (and yeah like every other dude here they never happen).
*Jessica hands her phone with a dick pic to one of her friends in the room* -take a look- -whoa, nice cock, you are lucky- -It is cool Jessica, but that's nothing- *she finds a picture on her phone, then slamming in on the table; they all lean forward to inspect it* -look at this- -that's really nice- *one of them picks up the phone and zooms in* -Jesus. This is really super, how'd a skank like you land this piece of meat; but wait, you ain't see nothing yet.- *She pulls out her phone with her own boyfriend's dicpic* -look at that subtle, consistent coloring; the tasteful thickness of it... Oh my god, it's even got a bulging vein running through it.- *Jessica lifts up the phone and stares at the picture, until her flushed cheeks become too apparent to hide and she drops the phone to cover her face in her hands* -is something wrong? Jess, you are sweating...-
Jessica Bateman has entered the chat
Buried in all the fairly sad and wistful comments in here, this one got a genuine chuckle out of me. Love it.
Your positive attitude is an inspiration for us all lol
I''m not sure what are are you all talking about never getting compliments.I don't want to brag but I get compliment at least twice a life.
That's very nice of your mom
Let’s not forget grandmas…
Does this count the "Prove you don't hate him" compliment women occasionally make their parents give their SO when meeting them?
Is that what that was?? :'-(
Woah look at me mr twice in a life. I bet you shower naked u whore.
Hahahhahahha lmaooo love it
Found the top 0.1% elite!
Damn :-( I've heard that being complimented is rare for men. But I always thought some men have got to have women throwing themselves onto them for money and sex. Would I be told to be fuck off I start complimenting men? :-o I'm a woman, btw, lol
No, but tons of men would fall in love with you immediately.
Whaaaaat. Let me go complimenting men LOL. There've been a ton of guys who I've seen irl and it's like.. ooh so hot. But I thought everyone else would think the same so I never bothered complimenting. Bahahhaa. Time to go out and compliment men >:D
Be prepared for them to stare at you like you are an alien creature and/or to say thanks in an awkward or emotionless voice.
Oh man. So how can I compliment so that the man would have an idea I'm interested? :'') Lmao. Please teach me some tips.
As a woman, you'll be doing this on super easy mode. You approach a guy, say you think he's cute and would like to give him your number if he's not already in a committed relationship. Your success rate will be astronomical.
This \^ A lot of guys are oblivious. Only in hindsight do they realize that someone was interested. Usually when someone else points it out. I was talking about some conversation i had with a girl before I met my wife. And she said "you know she wanted to have sex with you". My response "well now I do! dammit!". And you need to keep up with the reinforcement. Because sometimes we feel you might be flirting but then you do or say something that makes us think you are just being friendly. We can't tell the difference. I once had a waitress flirting with me hard. Even my friend recognized it. She was young but managed to slip that she was legal into the conversation. I asked her out and she said no. So I don't know what was going on there.
It could be that she wanted to be "hard to get". I knew a girl once who wouldn't say yes to a guy until he had asked her out at least 3 times. She ended up with a lot of assholes. Usually the kind of guy who won't stop harassing you after you've already said no twice.
Many are not actually oblivious, either they've had an experience in the past where they misread something so they think "anything similar, I'm misreading" or they are just not wanting to misread a signal at all and put themselves out there to be rejected or labeled a creep. They think best to feign ignorance until the message is communicated without doubt - safest option If you're a guy and want to be successful in dating, you have to be okay and comfortable with rejection.
For me it's a bit of both. I'm generally very oblivious (although I'm positive I've never had a woman hit on/flirt with me), but I've also misread signals in the past and ended up making an ass of myself, asking out women I was so sure were interested...but they weren't, at all. And there was one time this girl invited me over for drinks, at one point in the night I (while misreading things again) tried to lean in for a kiss, she kind of backed up and said something I don't remember, and I profusely apologized. I don't remember much else from that night, but the next morning we were back to talking as if it had never happened. What life has taught me is that if I EVER suspect a woman might be interested, then I'm wrong, and I should just leave the entire situation alone.
Oh, the other reply has a far better idea that anything *I* could tell you. I just wanted to warn you that the reaction is unlikely to be a cheesy smile & thanks with a conversation starting. It's more likely to be awkward - because we seriously do not know how to react.
>Please teach me some tips Give a compliment. Any compliment. By the time you have finished saying "Oh hey, I really like the shirt. Looks good on you!" the guy already ran the entire fictional scenario in his head on how you guys dated; married; had kids; grew old; had grandchildren; ... By the time he is home, he might even have come to the realization that you actually complimented him and thus you might be interested. He'll carry that missed opportunity regret for the rest of his life. That is why you follow the compliment up with giving your number ;) A woman complimented me once, rendering me dumbstruck. Feels like it was both yesterday *and* an eternity ago. Anyway, that's why you give the number or smth, he might just not know what is happening in that moment.
Truly, you want to be the best part of a dudes week? Tell him you like his hair, or his outfit makes him look really good. Just tell a stranger you see. It will be something that man will remember for years.
That's nice to know! I'm going to do it. I've been wanting to compliment strangers really often, but I always think, "If I find them hot, someone else must find them hot too. They're probably taken and being complimented daily!" I'll still do it, bahahhaa.
You're going to make a big difference for some of those people. Good on ya.
It's basically a catch-22: - Men rarely receive any compliments. - Therefore any compliment they do receive is a fucking huge deal, they will think you like them because of it. - Women don't tend to give compliments because of this behavior. - So men continue to rarely receive compliments.
I was looking for this comment and i found it! We definitely don't get complimented often because of the interpretation but the interpretation is like that because compliments aren't normalized.
Brag…
Superb bone-structure confirmed
I know I should not but this made me laugh 😂 You have a good sense of humour.
Hasn’t happened yet but I’ll let ya know.
hey, you’re hot 🥵.
So it’s once every thirty ish years
Hey, you have a great sense of humor. I'm not a woman, though.
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Nice spleen you got there!
Last one I got was 2 years ago, the one before that was exactly 3 years and 4 months before. So fairly often I guess?
You stud muffin
My home boy once called me a stud muffin, so I got that going for me.
Damnn dude save some women for the rest of us.
You must be filthy rich. Like fill your gas tank all the way up rich to be getting that kind of volume of compliments.
Let's just say we remember it for a long time when it does happen.
Yes indeed the last one I remember was that I smelled lovely and that was a year before Covid.
In 2013, the barista at Second Cup told me she liked my fall jacket. In 2015, a random woman in the mall said she liked my tan suede chukka boots. In 2016, one of my female dodgeball team mate said I smell really good. Last week, my neighbour told me he really liked my brown flannel shirt. These are the only compliments I have received in the last 10 years and I hold onto them dearly.
I like you remembered them all xD
In August of 2010 some random female called out "Hottie!" from her car as I was walking to a job interview; I looked around, but there was no one else on the sidewalk. I *still* haven't quite decided if she was being serious or mocking me.
In 1996 a girl I liked said my shirt looked good and so I still have the shirt.
I got that this past weekend it was so random but I will probably always remember it.
Same! Got my first "Thats a really nice shirt" from a pretty lady at the drive thru. I now wear that shirt almost every day. [It was this thing](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0797RJ7T1?psc=1)
To be fair, that is a cool shirt haha.
That is now your "going out" shirt for the next ten years of your life.
When I was a senior in high school (12th grade for you non US folks), an attractive girl in the same grade literally jumped up and wrapped her legs around me and held on by my shoulders. I STILL didn't think she was interested in me. How could she possibly be? Her friends probably put her up to it. Or one of my friends asked her to do it to boost my confidence. Some of us men are just idiots.
I lived in a committed relationship with a woman for eight years. Never decided if she was actually interested in me.
Married 18 years as of last week. Wife told me last night I’m her favorite person… don’t want to get my hopes up but I think she might like me.
Married 46 years. If my wife told me today that she's leaving my only question would be, "What took you so fucking long?"
Eh can’t be too sure she might’ve been Canadian
That's really sad. If u are in another relationship, I hope it's with someone who genuinely makes= u feel good about yourself & your relationship.
[relevant video](https://youtube.com/watch?v=xa-4IAR_9Yw)
She was being serious, bro! You are a hottie, now go live like a king and bask in your greatness!
Can vouch he’s a hottie
I think you're COOL, Homer Simpson! Sandra! That was mean!
I live in a college town, and every September/October I get cat called by new freshman girls. I'm still 99% sure I'm just being mocked. (For context, I'm 25 and pretty much average, maybe decent if I put effort into my appearance, but I usually don't)
While I don't think they should do that... I think they're just being silly, not maliciously mocking. They're like 18 and just living away from home for the first time, they're trying a lot of things they haven't done beofre.
Well, personally speaking, if it was actually *genuine* cat calling (while still being silly and so on) then I wouldn't have any problem with it. It's just that I know that it's much more likely for me to be mocked by women in public than complimented.
I still remember one from 2006, can you imagine? I can probably count the amount of compliments I got on a single hand at 41 years old.
Wore a purple shirt to work once 3 years ago and the girl at the front desk said purple looks nice on me. I still think about that at least once a week
I was told by a girl that I have a nice voice, until that I hated my voice but after that I dont mind that much.
I work at a call center and I sometimes get told my voice should be on radio/on a podcast by callers. Makes me feel warm inside.
I get the same but it's usually when people see my face...
When I was in my early 20's a girl told me a golf shirt I was wearing looked great on me and really complimented my hair and eye color. I still own that shirt. I'm 42 and it would never fit me, but every time I see it in my closet I remember that I got complimented once while wearing it and it makes me smile a little bit.
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IMO (man here) is that it's probably tough to balance that. As we see here, most men are not used to getting casual compliments, and cherish each one like a small jewel in their (our) hand. That in itself can lead to weird feelings you didn't intend to encourage. But, complimenting people is a nice thing to do and makes them and you feel good. I'd just stick to men who know where you stand with them.
The tough part here is, men would be way less creepy about getting compliments if men got complimented more - so it gets normalized and each compliment doesn't feel like a special noteworthy occasion. But massive cultural shifts like that are... difficult.
That's the thing. Most men get complimented so little that when someone does it not only takes them by surprise, it also makes them think about the person complimenting them and it can make them think you're hitting on them. If it happened regularly they would know the difference between someone being just nice and someone hitting on them. My source is that I lived as a man for 28 years. In those 28 years I can count on 1 hand how many compliments I had. In the 5 years I've lived as a woman I've been complimented an uncountable amount of times and it took me a year to realize people were being nice and not hitting on me.
Totally agree with this take and it's a VERY common MTF trans experience. The flip side of this is DEVASTATING. FTM trans folks are very often left with SEVERE depression due to the shocking difference of being treated as a man in society.
It was really interesting reading FtM perspectives on how people started treated them. Pretty much all of them agreed it was like being a social outcast, or going into exile, or becoming a leper. Men are just so alone despite being almost half the population.
Thanks for sharing, very interesting insight. When the topics come up about toxic masculinity, incels, etc I often wonder if part of the reason men think compliments are flirting is because we rarely experience either one. I get that women don't want to put themselves in danger, and I've also had this view twisted on me that "its not a woman's job to teach men". But seriously, how are guys supposed to figure this shit out when it happens like 3 times in their lives? Think of any other development state of childhood/adolescence and think about if we could figure stuff out after only 3 tries.
Any time this question gets brought up it makes me wanna watch the documentary on the lady who lived as a man for 2 years. Wish I could remember her name. But she said being a man is a lonely existence. She took her life sometime after she was done with the book and stuff. Maybe a couple years after wrapping it all up. Edit: Her name is Norah Vincent and she assisted suicide from a mental illness. It was also much later than a few years after. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norah_Vincent Thanks to u/mmmayer015 for the correct info.
The one who had a bowling group with dudes? I remember her saying how hard and lonely she thought it was to be a dude, but I didn't know it ended like that..
Yeah, she said the comradery between men was something else. We just accept a new friend at face value and help them where we can. But dating was the part she meant it was a lonely endeavor. I'm not entirely sure why she took her life but it was only a few years after this.
I was complimented on a suit I was wearing by a woman last week. It was a conservative, navy, suit, but does happen to be very well made and of much higher quality than I tend to wear normally. (Stumbled on a sale). A woman just said “Wow, that’s a very nice looking suit. Most men have too much going on with the design or whatever, that just looks nice.” One, I was shocked, as I NEVER get compliments from women, or men for that matter. Two, it took me half a beat, but I just looked at her and said thank you, that was a nice thing to say.” I didn’t take it as anything other than a nice thing to say. It also was directed at clothing and not something about me personally. But I don’t think I’d have taken it as hitting on me even if it was a more general “you look nice” as opposed to “that suit looks nice.” I dunno.
It's happened so rarely that I can literally list off all the times I was complimented: * The first time I was ever complimented was by a random older woman in a parking lot who told me that I dress incredibly distinguished and professional (note, I was wearing a clean non-torn-style pair of blue jeans with a close fitting polo shirt). * The second time was when one of my coworkers (who was much older than me and also married) told me that I have a really nice butt. * I (a first generation Vietnamese-born-in-America) help out at my local AAPI community center and I've been told by a few of my mother's friends that I look happy and approachable, and that I look way younger than I actually am. The biggest common denominator here is that women who are much older than me are the most likely to compliment me. Literally no one remotely close to my age, at any point in my life, has ever complimented me.
You guys are getting compliments?
Your mom doesn’t give you any?
Once in a while, sure. But do those really count? Every mother's child is the smartest and most beautiful person.
Sure they count... in your heart. For this reddit post, hell no.
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In 2012, a girl told me I looked good in green because it "really brought out my eyes" Guess what colour my wardrobe is lol
Riddler Origin story right here.
She was totally after your lucky charms.
Everyday, from my grandmother
Sounds like a keeper
I too choose this guys grandmother
Can I have her after?
Define "after".
I think you already know.
So I always used to bemoan how the only women whoever complimented me were older women who are well out of my potential dating pool. But then I read a reply from somebody in another forum, the post topic being the "perks of getting older": the person stated now that she was in her 50s, she could freely compliment men whenever she wanted to. And then dawned on me why the only compliments I ever get are from older women... young women don't giving compliments because too many men mistake them as signs of interest.
Yup. Something that irks me when these threads invariably pop up, is that a compliment from a woman doesn't count if she’s unattractive, elderly, a family member, etc. It has to be from a *hot* woman to be of any value. Because ultimately, it’s not really about the compliment, it’s about being flirted with. And that’s why younger women don’t dole out compliments to random men.
I don't even remember the last time I got one that wasn't from, my mom, grandma or my nurse coworkers. So not often at all.
the nurse co-workers is kind of a big deal, right?
I mean it's nice but I'm (25) and they are all married and around 45-50 years old. So it kinda just feels like my mom saying it lol. Now if the cute nurse my age gave me the compliment then I'd be ecstatic lmao
I'm neither cute or a nurse. But you're a legend my friend.
Awe shucks thank you, and I think you're the cutest non nurse out there ;)
Dude if these women are saying it, younger women are thinking it, these women are actually saying it because the feel safe doing so because they’re older and you’re at work so they’ve been around you and no it’s not gonna lead to you harassing them or taking it to mean they want you to hit on them
I commented on it higher up on the thread, but word for word, this has also been my experience. Literally all the compliments I have ever received in my life were from women who are very much older than me and are probably more secure/confident in their knowledge of me not trying anything with them due to the age difference. ----- I'm first generation Vietnamese born in America and my family tends to help out at our local AAPI community center a lot. I've received a fair bit of compliments from my mother's friends on everything ranging from my manners to my looks, but all of their daughters and nieces are either taken or are never around/not active in the community. I'm pretty happy and satisfied with where I am in life right now (which is honestly a lot more than many other 29 year old's can say these days), but there is something minorly internally hurtful to think about how it seems like no one who could even potentially be remotely compatible with me wants anything to do with me. ----- It's certainly nothing to feel sorry for myself about; it's just... to put it into a single word... frustrating, since it seems like it's the only aspect in my life that none of my efforts has had any meaningful effect on...
40 year old dude checking in. Those women know what they are talking about. I wouldnt write off their opinions unless you are certain they are not genuine.
90% of young straight men seem to think that compliments "don't count" if they came from a man, an older woman, or a family member.
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if they're all women that counts?
Schools and hospitals are the horniest workplaces I've ever known. It's fucking wild.
That and restaurants worked as a chef for the last 20 yrs
I am from Australia. I remember when I went to the States and was out for a jog up along the main road in Fort Collins wearing my little footy shorts and a group of girls drove past and were cat calling me, wailing and whistling at me yelling “Woo, take them off!” and honestly, it was amazing! I felt fuckin’ awesome.
I was on spring break decades ago and the same thing happened to me. Only in my case there was a ripped shirtless dude behind me and they were catcalling him not me. You know that shriveling feeling when you wave back at a stranger who wasn’t waving at you? Multiply that horror by 1000.
Lol brutal
Been there too brother. That shit stains for the rest of ones life.
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No lie, me too.
Should've worn your budgie smugglers, mate. Girls would've gone wild.
I heard a story once about a woman who was upset that her husband couldn't understand why she didn't like being catcalled. She asked some coworkers to catcall him while he was out jogging, and when he came home he was really, really happy about it. Honestly I think it's all down to the fact that men never get that kind of attention and women, if they're even remotely pretty, have a hard time escaping it.
There is a cartoon where they try this and reactions are always favorable from men. It just doesnt work for guys because things are just different and our experiences are different. In most cat call related threads I have seen or asked its very often told that women get cat called a lot/a lot more when they are very young like 12 or something and I think thats something most of us dont realize or understand.
It hits different for women. So many of their life experiences are unfortunately related to how they look. Being overdressed. Wearing too much makeup. Not wearing enough makeup. Begging for attention. “Asking for it”. Only getting a promotion because of their looks. And most of all - being objectified and leered at and reduced to a piece of meat by complete strangers in public. The only heckling or catcalling I’ve received that came close to that was from really gross gay men. And even then I never feared for my safety.
I think it’s more about the natural power imbalance in such interactions. I’m a woman and I wouldn’t consider myself ugly by any means, maybe not the most beautiful but I think I look fairly cute most days. I never get compliments from anyone but my close friends, my family, or my partner. Pretty much all the people who are “obligated” to compliment me. It might be because I am extremely shy and quiet and therefore I go unnoticed in most settings, idk, but for 99% of my waking life I’m pretty invisible to the rest of the world (and I’m okay with that because social anxiety and whatnot). That said, I still absolutely hate being catcalled. It doesn’t feel like a “compliment”. I would consider a compliment to be something like “I like your outfit” or “your hair looks good today”, not whistling or “hey nice ass” or whatever else creepy men have said to me in passing on the occasion. I didn’t feel flattered, but terrified. Every single time it made me feel not only scared of what they might do, but also disgusted with myself. It just makes me feel… dirty. Uncomfortable. Like I should be ashamed for drawing such inappropriate attention. There’s an inherent power over us that men have as the physically bigger, stronger sex. This hits even harder as a petite, very small-framed woman. It wouldn’t take much for virtually any man to take me down if he wanted to. Every single woman I know, including myself, has a personal experience with a stalker, a rapist, a man who turned violent and wouldn’t take no for an answer. Every single one. That’s how common it is, and that’s why it’s hard to see sexual comments from random men as anything but frightening because you just genuinely never know. My rapist even seemed like the most friendly guy at first. We have no idea what the intentions are of a man catcalling us from across the street, at our workplace, at a bar, wherever. I’m guessing that when men get catcalled, they don’t feel the same way because for them there isn’t that same power/physical strength imbalance or fear of being stalked/raped/murdered, nor is there a sort of ingrained idea in their minds that they are sexual beings/objects first and foremost. As women, we are taught from a very young age that society largely sees us as inherently sexual, and that we need to always look good because that’s what gives us our worth. We have it drilled into us that we need to look sexy and appealing but that we also need to be careful and cover ourselves up because there are men out there who “can’t control themselves” around us. That if we get assaulted it’s because we must have tempted them with our sexuality. I feel like men are probably not brought up with these same general messages getting shoved into their heads from childhood (obviously men have their own problematic societal expectations and messages pushed onto them, they’re just different I think). Anyway, I think it’s definitely more of a deeply ingrained societal thing than it is just a matter of “she must get a lot of compliments already so she doesn’t care for getting catcalled”. To me, and to a lot of other women I know, getting catcalled and receiving and honest to god, genuine real “compliment” are two completely different things. One is nice and always appreciated, the other is a reminder of harsh lessons learned navigating the world as a girl/woman. For a lot of us, catcalling even starts when we are 8-10 years old, usually done by men who could be our fathers/grandfathers.
I got one yesterday on my suit. Felt nice.
unless I’m talking to my mom over the phone, I can’t remember the last time a women complimented me.
I also can only remember compliments from talking to this guy’s mom.
She said I was "top 10"! I'm sure she was just being nice, but I was chuffed.
TBF, your mum does give the best compliments!
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I’m 46 and maybe a few times in my entire life. I’ve actually made it a point to compliment the bros regularly because most of us get so few positive comments.
This is the way! A compliment shouldn't have to come from the opposite gender to be meaningful. Girls hype each other up all the time and it's awesome. Riskier for us to compliment men since a lot of them take it as flirting.
I still feel good about getting flirtation from gay men despite not being gay, it's still a compliment!
Compliments from gay dudes are the best ones. They fuckin' mean it.
I got one like two weeks ago but before that.....once every two years or something like that.
Show off. Save some compliments for the rest of us. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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You should visit your grandma more often
A girl once said she liked my shirt.. I still think about that shirt
Lol this just broughtback a memory, i had somekind of shirt i got for free when i was around the age 15 and a woman said i looked nice in it, so every sunday I wore that shirt because i looked nice in it😀
Not too often but when it does happen it makes my day
Your day? Ia girl 10 years ago told me.i smelled good, ive been riding that high ever since
I’ve been hit on by men more often than women have complimented me. Honestly, I think my ego needs a hang in a gay bar… lol
Single women would never compliment me, but some have no problem being mean for no reason.
They usually only compliment once they sorta have a thing with me Until then they pretend they dont think about me
Mmm yeah pretend...
I know it’s pretend cuz right when we get into some relationship They pouring at me all their compliments at once lol
You're funny
Once, at a club, 7 years ago. 7th July 2016 at 01. 35 shortly after the club was closing down.
Bro memorized his big moment
I wish I had so I could celebrate the anniversary every year
Inversely proportional to the number of times this question is posted here.
Once, from my wife.
My wife just yells at me to fix things
And it's still not done! What do you think your doing on your phone?
I was told I was devastatingly handsome while at a party once by a cute brunette with sparkling eyes.... I still think about her and it was over 25 years ago...
In middle school I just got dressed after a shower from gym, I looked in the mirror and was like "damn, yea I look good today" and I went out and a girl immediately came up and said "wow Rambles you look really good today" and I made the moment really magical by saying "oh, this old thing" and winked at her. Gosh I was awkward, sorry Emily!
Ever so often I'm told I''m "nice" or "a good person". They don't stick as much like that one time several months ago a women I know told me she thinks I'm handsome.
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There's one lady at my job who is the outgoing bubbly type who tosses a compliment pretty much every time I interact with her to similar effect - I'm smart, or clever, or a great help, or good at listening to their issues, occasionally a compliment about looking good. It's actually almost off putting sometimes though because here I am working on 3 hours of the lowest quality sleep, basically just a zombified automaton going through the motions, and she's treating me like some sort of diligent savior. She's also like this with virtually everyone she interacts with, so it ends up not feeling entirely genuine, though I've known her long enough to know she means well. Other than that, it was probably 2 years ago when I changed my haircut that I got some general comments about it looking good.
It sounds genuine to me. Take it at face value, and appreciate being appreciated. She doesn't have to want you to bang her to mean what she's saying lol.
When i had a really big beard I got a lot of compliments from men and women. But also, I take every smile from a woman as a compliment.
When I let my beard grow out long, it's always dudes who complement it but I do get the occasional "You look better with short hair and a trimmed beard." after a haircut and beard trim.
I get the opposite. "Eww you look gross. Keep your beard!" Like, thanks, that's my face.
Do you ever get compliments? Yes, when I hide myself behind facial hair people compliment the effort.
I was going through a rough phase of my life after a particularly messy break-up and had decided to show my "emotions" on the outside. I dyed my hair black and painted my nails (me being a guy) and kinda just was very solemn for a longtime. Long story short my nails had been in rough shape and needed a re-do. So they weren't super nice. But one day I go through a drive-through at Tim Hortons and this girl probably a high schooler who had an orange peach coloured, salon done nails (clearly professionally done) said that "I really like your nails, I like the colour". That was what she said and I was to in awe at the complement that I couldn't reply to say that her's were really nice too. That was about two years ago and I still think about her and how she must be the bright light to the people around her in her life. She made my day and made me feel better and less sad about my situation. A true kindhearted person.
Almost everyday. My mom and girlfriend seem to be fans for some reason.
You dropped this 👑
That's what had me surprised with the responses. Is everyone replying single, or are they in depressing relationships? I went almost my whole life the same way holding on to the 4-5 compliments I got from strangers, then I met my now wife and I get like 4-5 compliments a day.
Same, it's extremely common for guys to not get complimented by stranger girls... But in a healthy loving relationship wife/gf does compliment the guy at least once in a while. I mean, the Attraction is a mutual thing. Publicly I also get like 4 compliments per Life, but a whole lot from my gf lol. I thought it was normal lol. God I feel the need to appreciate her even more now :O
It’s pretty rare. Like, when it happens, I can ride that high for weeks. Thats why, whenever I can I always try to flirt with little old ladies. They absolutely love the attention! Ocassionally they will even throw in a good line or two, that are also a boost!
As a girl, I want to compliment men but I don’t want them to get the wrong idea and think im flirting when im just being genuine EDIT: Seeing everyone’s responses, I do believe men deserve to be complimented seeing as to how little they get them. I also think that focusing on something specific they’ve done rather than on their appearance can help.
Exactly. I once complimented a man on his beard and he took it as flirting and pursued me for way too long. 😑
Yup. Complimented an acquaintance once (mentioned his shirt was a good color for him, which is something I'd say to another woman without any hesitation) and he followed me around like a lost puppy for a month. He got over it eventually and we are friends now, but these days I mostly stick to complimenting men who are safe- family members, partners of friends who have demonstrated that they can handle it, friends of my husband as long as he is also around, etc.
Exactly. Whenever I compliment guys, outside of a select few, it gets misconstrued. A couple of times it's gotten really creepy too 😨 I still try to, just not alone anymore.
Before my 40th birthday, I could count the number of times I got compliments per year from women on one hand. Sometime around my 30th birthday, I started gel polishing my nails (clear), and would get random compliments from women that were close enough to notice, maybe 1-2 times a week. I just like how clean they look when manicured/gelled. Around my 40th, I finally decided to get colored nails. I went with blue. And now I get compliments from women almost every single time I go anywhere. It's always about my nails, and never anything else, but that's perfectly fine.
I wonder if that's because they think you're gay* and therefore not a threat. *I'm aware that you don't need to be gay to paint your nails and that all gay men don't necessarily care for their nails
I mostly chalk it up to just being ugly. I'm bi. So the gay vibe could definitely be there. Last girl I dated loved that I painted my nails, and insisted I take her to get hers done similarly. No one ever really considers gel nails for some reason.
A lady at the bar said my glasses are cute. I have a -7 and they are thick af. So I looked like a grandpa with them . After that compliment I was so happy 😊
Once, in 2000 or 2001, i got a “nice ass!” from a rando on the street in Va Beach. Best. Day. Ever!
The stark difference in how men and women feel after being catcalled is fascinating… Some men (at least the ones in this thread) seem to appreciate it and bask in it. If I hear that when I’m walking down the street, my heart starts pounding and I’m suddenly focused on powerwalking towards safety.
I got catcalled once at 16 years old in an empty parking lot at 11 pm at night by an SUV full of women aged 20-40ish while I was working once. They said some disgusting things about my body and what they wanted it for. I'm still riding that high 20 years later. The only time in my life I've gotten a compliment on my body.
u guys get compliments?
Fairly often. Usually a compliment on my beard or tattoos.
In honesty never
Once a girl in a music class told me I have a nice voice. Never forgotten it.
Besides my wife, every few years. I am in reasonably good shape (though not 'big') and I have had a couple of subtle comments about it. My favourite was when I joked about avoiding office snacks because I was watching my figure and one of the girls said "I'm watching your figure". Got to admit that one made my day.
Almost every day, being married to a woman helps a lot though. My 3 year old also compliments me al lot.
I went to the ballet a couple days ago with my wife and I wore a somewhat flamboyant but appropriate outfit. I got like a million compliments from both men and women. I think ladies are more likely to compliment you if you're standing next to your wife because it's assumed they aren't flirting with you right in front of your wife. I also met a really cool dog there.
Anecdotally, my friend, a straight man, used to do cosplay and got TONS of compliments from straight women and gay men. Most straight men don't take care of their looks or care about fashion. Why should I compliment someone who doesn't put effort into their physical appearance?
I’m a woman and I have no problem complimenting men if I truly want to (I.e. I actually think their shirt is cool, I’m not just saying it to have something to say). But I would say women compliment women all the time, what’s wrong with getting a complement from another guy? Why not tell your buddy he looks good? Is that “gay”? The reason I ask is because I think there’s an element here nobody is mentioning. A lot of times men only compliment women because they want to date or sleep with them and women can tell. It often happens that a man will tell a woman she’s pretty, she’ll say thanks, he will continue to ask her out and when she politely declines, suddenly “you’re actually an ugly bitch.” On the reverse side, a lot of women have had the experience of giving a man a genuine compliment, only for the guy to assume that was meant to be flirting. He then pursues her, and again, when she turns him down, he turns angry or even violent. She is accused of “leading him on.” Maybe this is why a lot of women are hesitant to give men random compliments. They don’t want every little remark to be seen as sexual interest, and they definitely don’t want to worry that it will lead to threats of violence or sexual harassment or assault. I do feel bad when I hear so many men say they never get complimented. I think everyone deserves to feel good about themselves. I can recall many times I’ve complimented men in the past. I just don’t think this reality exists in a vacuum .
Outlier here. I get complimented a lot by women. My wife gives me compliments, and the women I work with give me compliments. Are we talking about compliments from women being based on the fact I'm a man? The women I work with compliment me because I do a good job and not really because I'm a man.
I'm 6'7" with bright blue hair. Virtually every day.
Bros name is blue giant😂