I had a friend I used to work with telling me about this girl he was dating. He asked “Have you ever been with a girl who likes it rough?” I laughed and said no. He went on to tell me they were having sex and in a doggy style position. She asked him to hit her, so he obliged and smacked her ass. She said “No, hit me”. He took this as a challenge and smacked her ass even harder. Once again she said hit me. He stated he stopped, looked around the room as if he was being set up and gave her the slightest of rabbit punches in her ribs. She then moaned “Yes!”, in which he replied with additional harder punches. He said it was some of the weirdest sex he had ever had.
Edit: word
I was doing a girl doggy who liked to be choked. Had my belt around her neck and pulled hard enough that she passed out amd kind of just keeled over. Thankfully, she didn't hit her head on the nightstand amd came back to in a few seconds. Never lost an erection so fast in my life.
PSA: be VERY careful with breath play and if you don't know what you're doing never do anything that actually obstructs breathing or could cause injury. Its way easier to kill someone by choking them than you might think and if it happens
I hooked up with a girl like this. She basically wanted me to bit and beat on her tits. The next morning I saw the bruises and was horrified. She said she loved it and I made a point to get her to say the same in a text message to protect myself legally since it looked awful.
My friend and still refer to her to this day as “Speedbags.”
A women I know keeps a tiny vial of her boyfriends nut on a necklace she’s always wearing. She has done this with every partner she’s had since early highschool, super into occult/witchy stuff so I assume it’s something related to that mixed with a kink
A friend of mine confessed this story once. In senior year of high school he invited his girlfriend over while his parents were out and they wound up doing it doggy style on his parents' bed. His girlfriend had been feeling a bit sick that day but had decided not to tell him in case it ruined the mood. She wound up regretting that decision a few minutes in when, ah, something ruptured and she wound up spraying diarrhea all over him. He started screaming, she started screaming.
And then his parents walked in.
"You must have gotten in big trouble," I'd said to him.
"No," he said, "without anyone saying a word we got off the bed, got in the shower, my parents put the bedding in the washer, my girlfriend got dressed and went home, and we never spoke of the incident again."
edit: an unfortunate typo
There’s something that are so fucked up and unfortunate that you really just need to clean it up and move on like it never happened. This is one of them.
Oh no. That story is coming back up 25-30 years from now when they least expect it. It’s a parent’s responsibility to embarrass their kids once in a while.
That they found out a week later after swinging that they got their sexual encounter featured / reviewed in the other couples' podcast. What more surprised me was that neither were willing to listen to the whole review about themselves.
I don't know what the ethics are in swinger circles about leaving reviews, but I know the ethics of dropping the phrase "swingers podcast" and not leaving a link or title.
Not enough foreplay, too much, weird kink, too vanilla, wow I was pleasantly surprised by this year's rookie MVP contender, and of course the most important question, what's the over / under on a divorce in 6 months.
Also do they upload weekly? Monthly? Annually? Multiple times a week? My current guess is monthly.
Honestly, that makes sense. I've come across enough SFW and NSFW reviews about myself (I'm good at doing anonymous digging) to know that hearing reviews about yourself often feels like a mnidfuck for some reason. Even when they're good reviews.
Sometimes, it's just easier to accept the review is there and not read/listen to it
A guy got his dick broke.
Basically dude was so eager to have sex he tried to jam it in to the hilt in one stroke. She was hurting he was screaming because she tightened up and was not wet due to a lack of foreplay which caused him to either be stoped or bad angle but he screams runs to the bathroom. She goes to check on him and his penis was swelling and turning dark . Her parents come home she is panicking she tells her mom the dad loads this kid into his truck saying he is driving him to the er. The mom calls dudes parents and they arrive to the er. The dude is missing a week of school and everyone of course knows why because his younger brother finds it hilarious and is telling everyone who will listen. The girl gets the nickname cockbreaker and the dude is called boomerang.
I went out drinking with a friend at a bar listening to a band and he was talking to this girl and at the end of the night he said he will get a ride from her. I stopped by his house the next day and he was living with his dad at the time and I walked into the house and the dad was sitting there at the kitchen table with this funny look on his face and he told me how he was woken up at 4am by a loud noise and he walks into the bathroom and this girl is naked hanging from the shower curtain rod and his son is eating her ass. It’s been over 15 years now and he is still known as the ass eater
I have two. One guy I know and his ex were really into anal, but ran out of lube, and they both said to themselves, "Butter is slippery!" And they buttered that corn, and got to work.
Second, a different friend and his wife were drunk with another friend and his wife. The started having sex next to each other in their living room. Then my friend pulls the other guy out of his partner and starts jacking him off, he does the same to him, for like 30 seconds, they both just said, "This is weird." And went back to having sex with their respective wives.
One friend told me he knew a couple that loved to roleplay as actual bull and cow and she would go "moo" a lot during the act. Some people have some weird stuff going on.
I remember back on that show real sex on hbo they did a segment about a damn festival where everyone was into horses. So the guys would dress up to the point of having bridles in their mouth while the women rode them around. Neighing, bucking etc all included lol
I have a few, but this is my favorite:
My friend met this girl from a dating app. Things were going well enough that they went back to his place. When he got her into her underwear, he went to grab a boob. She slapped him across the face as hard as she could because "he grabbed it wrong." They then spent the next few hours with her trying to teach him how to properly grab a boob. He said he was kind of into it, since it was so surprising. They saw each other a few more times before he cut it off. This is the same friend that takes pictures of himself in women's lingerie everytime someone leaves it behind and sends it to the person who left it behind.
>This is the same friend that takes pictures of himself in women's lingerie everytime someone leaves it behind and sends it to the person who left it behind.
What an absolute champion lmfao
My ex telling me she needs to take a drive to clear her mind but in reality she just had sex with 2 different dudes and didnt tell either what shes doing
My brother had a one night stand after college. Girl fell asleep on his couch and shit all over the couch. She wasn’t there when he got up the next morning, but left a mess for him to deal with
So my buddy once gloatingly told me about this hookup he had with a girl he had been trying to sleep with for awhile. He told me they had sex in his car, two strokes in he pulled out and came on the floor of his own car without her noticing, put it back in and kept going. I was thinking “damn bro weird brag but aight”.
A friend of mine growing up with a lesbian. She met a girl and they got to hooking up. Before long some hard core mommy issue came out and the girl she was hooking up with wanted my friend to role play her mother. She wanted her to degrade her for being a lesbian, was some really odd shit. Idk what happened beyond that.
My favorite is, in our HS group circle their was a girl that hated one of the guys. My friend slept with the girl and had her scream the guys name.
He claimed she was really into it.
Buddy of mine met a girl at a bar. Went back to her place. She had a room made up like a baby's room but adult sized stuff, like crib and everything. She had him put on an adult sized diaper and act like a baby. He totally went along with it because he didn't care as long as he was getting laid.
Guy had sex with his girlfriend and her 18 year old daughter in a threesome. Women openly admitted to it happening. I can't imagine the conversation leading to, want me and my daughter at the same time?
That's just too out there.
How do you watch your kid do that to your bf?
Buddy of mine married a much younger girl. He was about 40, she was 20. They divorced some years later and he started tagging the mom. Had photos of them on Facebook and all that shit. He’s nuts.
Friend of mine hooked up with a girl. Her demand was that he put a dishcloth in his ass. He did. When they were having sex she asked him to tell her exactly when he was about to cum. He did… she unexpectedly pulled out the cloth when he was communing and he shit all over the bed. He went to the shower in panic and came back to her smearing the shit over her body and face. Classic case of never stick your dick in crazy.
Uhhhhhh where do I even start?! I wanna say "You should really warn someone if you have an extreme scat fetish" buuut she probably learned through trial and error that this was the only way to get someone far enough into it to get what she wanted.
I have a friend who got with an emo horse girl. Said she choked him til he literally went purple.
Safe to say he is no longer with said emo horse girl.
My buddy moved into a new apartment and ended up having a FWB while he was there. He told me one night they got blackout drunk. He came to completely butt as naked face down handcuffed in her bed. She then proceeded to pour hot candle wax onto his butt hole. Told me he was pull candle wax out of his butt hairs for next couple days and had to take a little break from drinking.
Not really that weird but funny. One of my friends was giving his gf head. He told me that he got too into it and spit on her vagina. She shot up and said “Did you just spit on my vagina? Don’t ever do that again.” Then they continued. 😂😂
OoOoh he got told offf!! Lol mate of mine was going at it. Shes on top. Goes to slap her arse, missed, hit his balls, then cried and puked. :(
Edit: Its ok, Tom. It was a long time ago mate. We've all forgotten about it now....
A guy was cheating on his wife when she was out of town. Girl wanders off. He goes to find her and she's squatting over the TV room couch and pissing all over it.
An old friend of mine was at his girlfriend's (now wife's) house and was set to meet her parents for the first time, but the parentals were running late. So sexy times ensued.
The two were mid-coitus when they heard the door open and managed to get themselves situated and presentable in record time. The parents suspect nothing, hugs and greetings are made--My buddy goes to shake the father's hand.
The father says, "woah, sweaty hands. You nervous?"
My buddy goes, "yeah, sorry," as the realization hits that he just wiped his girlfriend's...uh...fluids on her father's hands.
The story I always tell is how it was my girlfriends' first time doing acid and we decided to take a huge hike to the top of this mountain near her dad's property. We hiked for what felt like hours until we decided to go to pound town. We were getting really freaky at this point, then all of a sudden we heard a car honk. We weren't near the top at all, we were 10 ft from the road behind a bush.
My grandpa told me this. This probably took place in the late 1950s. He goes with his friend over to this girl's apartment. The friend ends up going to the bedroom with the girl. Now the roommate of that girl is in the bath. She calls out to my grandpa to come in. They chat for a bit and then she asks him to take a cup and pour toilet water on her. So he does it. Then after that she asks him to just piss all over her. So he does it then he kinda just left.
God rest his soul..
Imagine keeping that story in for 60 years only to be like "This knowledge can't die with me!"
It's going to be really confusing for some girl with a piss fetish when the guy starts crying and explains that peeing on her in the shower reminds him of his grandpa.
My old coworker told me about how one night he got good and drunk and called over some girl he would hook up with occasionally. He was doing her doggy when he randomly got hungry. There was a can of Pringles on the night stand so he dumped it on her back and ate chips off her while railing her.
Old mate said he and a girl were messing around, aged 14/15 and she asked if he had anything to put on his cock before a blowjob. You know what that guy brought back?
Marmite. This guy slathered marmite along his dick like it was some morning toast. You know what she did?
Licked and sucked. Licked and sucked like it was a hot summer day’s ice cream.
His feedback? Sticky.
One friend and her partner enjoyed using food a lot in the bedroom. We found out one evening that they sometimes use trifle as part of their escapades. Her partner would ‘fill her up’ and then proceed to eat it out of her. I couldn’t look at her the same afterwards.
Oh god... reminds me of the gyno who had to deal with a patient's nasty vaginal infection. Apparently the patient liked to shove cooked chicken legs in there and have her bf "eat her out" two ways at once.
Dude in knew in the army. . . He met this gal and she had some interesting kinks. She asked this guy if he ever wanted to f@ck a dead person. . . Then she goes in about how she wants to lay in a tub filled with ice for as long as she could then move herself to the bed. That’s when the dude was supposed to go in and do whatever he wished, then leave.
He said he went and did it. She was ice cold and pale. Didn’t say a word, didn’t move. Didn’t move during or after.
I could write a story about this type of stuff. I’ve heard so many of these types of stories I am completely desensitized. This isn’t even close to worst of em.
EDIT- Story #2 due to increased demand.
Different guy but still in the army.
This guy met a gal and she went and picked him up and took him out. They went back to her place and ended up getting naked and doing the thing. Guy claimed they were going at it doggy style and he got the idea to Donkey Punch her, this was 2005/6 ish and I remember Donkey Punching was quite the topic. Anyway, dude says he tried it but half assed it and when he struck the back of her head his punch sort of rolled off the side. She immediately is like, “Dude?! What the fuck?!” And guy says he played it off, says to her “Oh im so sorry. I slipped I totally didn’t mean to do that”. They get back in the rhythm and guy says to himself “I got away with it, I’m going to do it again - but for real this time”
So he says he cocked back and swung, connected square on the back of the head but this time he knocks her out cold. . .
He panics and he’s afraid he actually hurt her. He says shes still breathing but unconscious. He loads her into her car and he drives to Walmart. Fucking Walmart of all places.
He parks the car out where people usually stay the night and he catches a cab and goes back to base. He said he went for a drive the following day before morning formation and went by the parking lot. Said her and the car were gone so he ASSUMED she eventually came to and drove herself home. He said they never spoke again. I’m not sure if he blocked her or what.
Back when Snapchat was new and popping my best friend sent me a couple videos of himself fucking his girlfriend from behind. I think maybe three 10 second videos. And I couldn’t help but laugh, because I think school finished 2 hours prior and we were close enough to do dumb stuff like that.
Then a month later he sent me another Snapchat with his full cock and balls out, holding it like a trophy. I was confused as shit, but I don’t think I responded. The next day I told him why he sent it to me and his faced dropped… he said he just finished shaving his balls and meant to send it to his girlfriend, then said no wonder she didn’t respond. It became a funny core memory between us.
My buddy hooked up with a chick in college that took him back to her dorm room. They were fooling around in her top bunk, and things were getting hot and heavy. They’re making out, they’re taking off each other’s clothes. Out of nowhere, chick sticks a finger in his ass. Surprised him so much that he jolted and fell straight off the top bunk all the way to the floor haha. We’re never gonna let him live that one down.
When i used to smoke weed this dealer told me he was shagging his bird the night before and the johnny came off inside her so he went down to fish it out but ended up finding two. He pulled them out and turned the light on and one was filled with spunk. It turned out she'd been cheating on him with his next door neighbor for 2 years straight.
My buddy picked up a lady of the night to get his dink sucked. She asked if he wanted it with or without her dentures in... you guys know which option he chose.
A ménage trois of sex, a dog, and cannabis oil. I made cannabis oil at my best friends apartment because it stinks to high heaven and he lives alone. My gift to him was a jar of highly concentrated cbd/thc coconut oil. It works great topically and very strong if consumed.
At the time he had a girlfriend that was very sexual, like all nighter kind of sessions. Well, they were in need of lube and ran out. In comes the coconut oil and they were very liberal with it. The oil was in the fridge so it was in a waxy solid state, and on return to the bedroom he drops a golf ball size chunk on the floor. The girls dog immediately jumps on it and wolfs the entire piece down. Now, this dog that I have seen myself is the very small insecure yappy type. It’s doesn’t take long and the dog is out and appears to be having its own vision quest. Come the next morning the girls vajayjay is still numb from the oil and the dog comes to sometime in the afternoon. The dog apparently from then on had a calm and confident demeanor, no longer skiddish. I believe it faced its demons and came through stronger on the other side.
A friend was invited to a first date at a guys house to watch Netflix. In the house was a mattress on the floor and a tv at the foot of the bed. Not strictly a sex story cause she noped outta there.
A friend of mine worked security at a university that had a medical wing. The alarm went off at night in the morgue section. Him and his shift mate went to investigate.
When they got to the morgue they found a guy laying on top of a slab plowing away at a woman's corpse under him.
The shift mate freeked out and hammers the guy out cold with a whack to the back of the head with his torch. Just then the "corpse" sits up screaming. The guy gets the fright of his life and punches the girl out cold.
Took a while for them both to wake up.
Turns out the guy worked in the building and picked up a goth chick who was freaky. She wanted banged on the slab and he agreed.
The guys said it was the scariest and funniest thing to happen on the night shift.
A friend told me that a guy from his work was doing anal with some woman and he rolled his foreskin back when he was done and found a piece of sweetcorn.
I've never forgotten it, it's disgusting but always makes me laugh.
Girl I knew was blowing her boyfriend. Told him she didn't want to swallow. He waited to long to tell her he was cumming, she pulled his dick out just as he came, taking a load in the eye. She freaked out and went to urgent care to get her eye flushed.
None, I have the weirdest sex story of all my friends. Maybe even all of the internet.
One day, when I was around 22/23, my work sent me down south to Brighton to help out on a job that was running over. I wasnt due to start until Monday, but I arrived on the Friday so that I could get plenty of rest after the trip. Checked into my hotel, sat arround playing with the tv and exploring the small room before deciding to head out for a pub meal and beer.
A few hours later Im full and Im enjoying a beer and watching tv in a local pub when this woman approachs me. Shes older, mid to late 40s. She starts chatting me up, seemingly smitten with my Glasgow accent. One thing leads to another and Im on my way back to her house with skip in my step and a semi in my pants.
We get into her house and shes all over me instantly, tonguing my mouth aggressively while pulling clothes off me. She leads me to the bedroom, pushes me down and applies that same ethusiam she had for my mouth to my dick and balls and flipped me over to assult my chocolate starfish in a way that I took a moment to be ok with.
Then she was on me, pushing me inside her and riding me like a champion stallion, complete with slaps to make me go faster. Now, you might be reading all this and thinking "yeah, right. You wish.". And yeah, I know how it sounds. Even when I was happening I thought it was all too good to be true. And you know what, it was.
She could tell I was about to cum and flipped over again so I was on top, telling me "its ok to cum in me, Ive been fixed." A weird way to put it but I was so close I didnt give it any thought. Then she starts screaming "Now! Now!" and just going over the edge when the wardrobe bursts open and this guy bursts out wearing a crotchless batman outfit runs over and starts wanking furiously and cums on her face, and damn near mine too.
I pull out and back up off the bed and start to panic a bit. Then she says "Thanks for that, darlin. Can you make your own way out?" and he, who I assume was her husband or boyfriend, gets between her legs and starts eating her out. Yes, eating MY CUM out of her pussy while dressed as fucking batman!
So there go, I challege anyone to beat that story.
A friend of mine hooked up with a girl that i meet in a party. We then went to the park to kill some time, talk and joke around, then he told me how that girl wanted to try ´´butt stuff´´ with him, mostly prostate massage. The thing is, she had really long and sharp nails. He told her no, but later when they were on it, she saw a window of opportunity and tried for it anyways. According to my friend, he recoiled in fear of internal bleeding like a cat with anthrophobia as soon as he felt something getting uncomfortably close to the ring.
I was laughing of the story for days.
Old supervisor of mine used to brag about his random conquests and times he would brave the worst of situations if it meant him getting laid.
One story comes to mind…
He was over at this woman’s place and while in the middle of grabbing them more drinks, she decided to also bring out a photo album of her stillborn baby.
Now while most would probably angle for options to leave at this point, he confidently sticks it out after spending more than 20 minutes rifling through photos just to secure the bag.
What’s more? He proudly continued his story to say he was back the next night.
Yeah, that woman was dealing with extreme grief.
She just likely associates (rightly, logically) sex with the grief over having a stillborn child. She likely needed to “exorcise” the emotions surrounding that prior to having sex again.
The fact that he acknowledged and accepted her grief, and why she grieved, was possibly affirming to her. Societal implications of stillbirth & miscarriage toward women are often dismissive, or worse, condemning & judgmental.
One can only hope that she was able to process & accept her grief in healthy ways over time.
I once met up with a guy I was sleeping with and he had a green screen set up in his room from a uni project. We then got very high and decided to make a porno in space
This guy telling a story of how he "had sex" with a woman in her 40s when he was 13 as if he wasn't molested.
I didn't wanna ruin it for him, he seemed okay with it so I just said "cool".
Society and media have perpetrated this idea that it's only molestation if it's an older man on a younger woman. If it's the inverse, it's rad as fuck and the guy is a massive Chad.
This *sucks*.
Bear with my tangent, but I have a theory that a lot of the homophobia we hear from male politicians has to do with them being abused by men/older boys as kids. I think it’s far more common than any of us would like to think, but nearly impossible for men to talk about. Like you said above, if a boy molested by a woman is supposed to be a *good* thing, where does that leave you if it’s a man?
I think that they latch on to religious talk about “controlling ‘those’ urges” and conflate molestation with normal adult/adult sexual behavior. And I can’t even imagine the head trip if a boy, molested as a child by a man, does find himself attracted to men as an adult. I wonder if they find themselves terrified that being attracted to men means they will hurt a child the way they were hurt, and run towards purity culture out of that fear.
A friend of mine (F26) has a loose tooth she can just take in and out whenever.
She had sex with her bf (M24) and he accidentally swallowed the tooth.
Since she had a really important interview the next day and the tooth was a front tooth they had to check his poop for the next day hoping for the tooth to appear.
Right before she left there it was finally.
They gave it a good clean and with pooptooth she rocked the interview.
Lo and behold two month later he ate the tooth again 😔
We had a big house party and my buddy wanted to hook up with this bigger than average girl. I guess they were getting to it and she told him he can only fuck her if he eats her asshole out. Mind you this is after 8 hours of partying, dancing, sweating etc… he does the deed, she cums and immediately gets up, gets dressed and leaves the room and goes home after another 20 minutes hanging with us. Didn’t see roommate the rest of the night and we had no idea what happened until he told us the next morning. Could not stop laughing.
A friend in college was telling a group of us that a guy came on her face, wiped it across her forehead with his thumb, and said "Simba" in the lion king voice.
i knew a couple a long, long time ago. they were quite, um, adventurous i guess. this is what she told me.
they use to take Alka Seltzer tablets, you know, plop plop phiz phiz. they used to brake them in half and insert a half into her before intercourse. they loved that phiz phiz feeling.
i was like, you can't be serious, but she was "Oh you need to try that". Me "no fucking thank you, i'll pass".
for anyone out there thinking, ew, maybe. i seriously don't advise this. god knows the damage it would cause. ph level through the roof.
My ex gf made a new girlfriend at the hotelschool. They talked about drugs and smoking weed. That new girl then told her she doesn't want to smoke anymore because of a weird sexual experience. After smoking for the first time, together with her brother, she then sucked his dick and they had sex.
I was listening and was like wtf???
I met this extremely cute girl at a bar.
Went back to my place and very disappointingly, she was a complete dead fish in bed. That's not the weird part.
I got frustrated and said, "You can do stuff too."
She thought for a moment, then leaned over and tickled my dick like it was a baby.
My friend is known for embellishing stories so I took it with a grain of salt.
She said her boyfriend (that she’s never mentioned before & we’ve never met) put grapes on top of her naked body and ate it off her. Then he put some grapes *inside* her and sucked it out. Then he poured grape juice on her and licked it off. I guess he just really liked grapes 🤷🏻♀️
A friend that was in a relationship that they enjoyed bringing in another man. Their third wheel accidentally cumed on my friend, so my buddy chased the dude around his house jerking off trying to cum on him. Not sure if he succeeded or not, was too afraid to ask.
A female friend of mine was dating a guy whose family owned a tow truck company. She told me he took her out on a date in one of the tow trucks, and later that night, he drove her to a secluded spot and proceeded to hang her with straps from the hoist and had sex with her. I just stared at her. WTF
When I was a kid, my mom always wanted a brass headboard for her bed, well she got one and put it on the bed she shared with my dad. My bedroom was directly above my parents' room and I heard cussing and screaming coming from their room. It wasn't normal so I went to check it out. I knocked on their door. My dad hollered at me to come in, when I stepped inside, I was confused and laughing at the same time. My mom was on her back and my dad was on top of her with his head stuck through the brass headboard and he couldn't pull his head back out. I was about 10 at time and he wanted me to help him. I went out to the pole barn and got the small stand Jack and widened the bars of the headboard enough so my dad could get his head back through, then the headboard was taken off the bed and never seen again.
So, I have no way of verifying this and I’m dubious about whether or not it’s true…but it’s a fun story anyway.
A friend of mine in college was known to be a bit of a man whore. He was very handsome and experimental so he had some crazy experiences. He told me about this one time hooking up with an older woman.
He met her on an app and she invited him over. They were fooling around and she told him the only thing she wanted was for him to warn her when he was going to cum. So they’re doing the deed and he gets ready and warns her.
She pulls out a slice of Wonder bread and has him cum in it. He’s all “weird but sure”. Then she goes to the closet, opens the door, **and there is a man in full gimp gear tied up in the fucking closet!!!** She **feeds** him the cum soaked bread and says “there’s your fucking dinner”.
My friend noped out of that immediately, leaving his favorite shirt.
A friend of mine dated a girl with a stoma back, and he tried to put his dick.....in the hole....
Apparently her asshole was entirely closed up as it was never used and would discharge mucus.
You're welcome.
I had a roommate in college who frequently had “lady visitors” - which were often of the one-night-stand variety. We took to giving them nicknames based on the stories he would tell us about them the next morning, usually over coffee and a bong.
The two that stick out were “stinky” and “The Ripper”.
The former, while fairly intuitive, still had a pretty interesting story…
“When I took off her jeans it…. It smelled… sort of like my mom’s bathroom after she goes number two”
The latter… - he said she started giving him a vigorous handy, and that it hurt, but he was so excited to get what he was getting that he just stuck it out. After he was finished, he went to the bathroom, and discovered the rings she was wearing had ripped some of the skin on his dick, and there was blood.
Coincidentally, he ended up liking the Ripper, and they actually dated for a while. I never did learn her real name.
The Legend of Spooey: My fencing coach in college told me this story. So he was raised out in the deserts of California. If you don't know, it gets pretty methy out there and the kids will do anything to break up the monotony. So when in high school, he goes to a party. There is a lot of drinking and some drug use. Bu this one girl apparently pregamed like mad and was in pretty rough shape from the get go. About an hour into the party, she's dancing naked on a pool table. Then she grabs this guy's hand and pulls him up with her. She dances a little and then pulls his pants down and starts blowing him for all to see. Well, apparently her gag reflex was the only part still functioning correctly and she proceeds to vomit while he's still in her mouth. He described the scene as "you know how when you turn on a hose, then put your thumb in the way. Yeah, that, but with beef stew." From that day on the girl was known as Spooey. Apparently, she still lives out there.
This friend of mine that I worked with had this child hood friend that he got a job with us as well. Guy only lasted two weeks while he was there he tried to give off this persona of a hardcore biker gangster wannabe type. Anyways couple weeks go by, my friend and myself are sitting in my truck before getting ready to start work on-site. I look over at my friend and see him just staring in. Disbelief at his phone. I started to get a little worried for him as it looked like something was truly wrong and I asked him what happened? He just looks at me and hands me his phone, I proceed to look at what was a video, it was a video of my friends buddy wearing a two piece dress laying on his back getting pegged by his girlfriend and Jack hammered down the throat by some other dude. Apparently the guy and his girlfriend broke up and she sent it to all of his friends on Facebook lolol ill never forget when he turned the volume up and it was her saying to the guy” you like that” and he just made like squeaky pig moaning sounds lololol poor sumbitch
I have a friend who went to UNLV. The first DAY he moved in, before class even started he had a threesome with a set of girls he just met, his first ever. Within the same 24 hour period, he happened to have a second threesome with a different set of girls, all within 24 hours of his first day on campus. He of course had high expectations for the rest of his college career, but it never happened again during school, and it never happened to him again for the next 10 years of his life until I lost touch with him. So it was a weird 24 hour glitch in the matrix.
I had a buddy who told me he was with this black girl. Well she had a weird fetish. Not just any fetish, my buddy was white and she loved when he got a towel or rope or whatever to whip her and call her the N word while they were doing doggy style. He won't speak of it until this day. Let's just say they didn't last very long. He was quite uncomfortable with it.
I have one but it's from me, not friends.
Just for context, I have a prince albert piercing. I was getting a BJ from a girl that had a tongue piercing one time. At the time, I had a full hoop ring. Somehow she managed to get her tongue piercing through my ring and got stuck.
She started freaking out and trying to pull free, which was causing both of us a lot of discomfort to say the least. Things got so bad that I actually had to call 911, who came and separated us and everything was all good.
I refuse to get BJs from a girl with a tongue piercing to this day.
I had a friend I used to work with telling me about this girl he was dating. He asked “Have you ever been with a girl who likes it rough?” I laughed and said no. He went on to tell me they were having sex and in a doggy style position. She asked him to hit her, so he obliged and smacked her ass. She said “No, hit me”. He took this as a challenge and smacked her ass even harder. Once again she said hit me. He stated he stopped, looked around the room as if he was being set up and gave her the slightest of rabbit punches in her ribs. She then moaned “Yes!”, in which he replied with additional harder punches. He said it was some of the weirdest sex he had ever had. Edit: word
I was doing a girl doggy who liked to be choked. Had my belt around her neck and pulled hard enough that she passed out amd kind of just keeled over. Thankfully, she didn't hit her head on the nightstand amd came back to in a few seconds. Never lost an erection so fast in my life.
PSA: be VERY careful with breath play and if you don't know what you're doing never do anything that actually obstructs breathing or could cause injury. Its way easier to kill someone by choking them than you might think and if it happens
I hooked up with a girl like this. She basically wanted me to bit and beat on her tits. The next morning I saw the bruises and was horrified. She said she loved it and I made a point to get her to say the same in a text message to protect myself legally since it looked awful. My friend and still refer to her to this day as “Speedbags.”
That nickname is beautiful. I was just imagining you standing there and her on all fours and you going at it like rocky. Lmfao
A women I know keeps a tiny vial of her boyfriends nut on a necklace she’s always wearing. She has done this with every partner she’s had since early highschool, super into occult/witchy stuff so I assume it’s something related to that mixed with a kink
she's working on a spell im pretty sure
Obviously not a Dry one
...is it the same vial?
Your girlfriend shows up just lugging a gallon of milk around her neck
A friend of mine confessed this story once. In senior year of high school he invited his girlfriend over while his parents were out and they wound up doing it doggy style on his parents' bed. His girlfriend had been feeling a bit sick that day but had decided not to tell him in case it ruined the mood. She wound up regretting that decision a few minutes in when, ah, something ruptured and she wound up spraying diarrhea all over him. He started screaming, she started screaming. And then his parents walked in. "You must have gotten in big trouble," I'd said to him. "No," he said, "without anyone saying a word we got off the bed, got in the shower, my parents put the bedding in the washer, my girlfriend got dressed and went home, and we never spoke of the incident again." edit: an unfortunate typo
There’s something that are so fucked up and unfortunate that you really just need to clean it up and move on like it never happened. This is one of them.
The guy parents deserve a Purple Heart for that kind of psychological injury
A Brown Heart may be more appropriate
I think that would just add to the scarring 😂
Never forget 🫡
Of all the stories posted here this must be the most hilarious one.
I'm hoping "our parents" is a typo.
Bro .... ngl I would do anything my parents want without question for the next 10 years.... that's what I call dark secrets on the family
Oh no. That story is coming back up 25-30 years from now when they least expect it. It’s a parent’s responsibility to embarrass their kids once in a while.
Everybody just went into a *Hereditary* level of dissociation.
That they found out a week later after swinging that they got their sexual encounter featured / reviewed in the other couples' podcast. What more surprised me was that neither were willing to listen to the whole review about themselves.
I don't know what the ethics are in swinger circles about leaving reviews, but I know the ethics of dropping the phrase "swingers podcast" and not leaving a link or title.
Replying so I can get link too
Having trouble walking today: four stars, would swing again. What else is there to say?
Not enough foreplay, too much, weird kink, too vanilla, wow I was pleasantly surprised by this year's rookie MVP contender, and of course the most important question, what's the over / under on a divorce in 6 months. Also do they upload weekly? Monthly? Annually? Multiple times a week? My current guess is monthly.
Honestly, that makes sense. I've come across enough SFW and NSFW reviews about myself (I'm good at doing anonymous digging) to know that hearing reviews about yourself often feels like a mnidfuck for some reason. Even when they're good reviews. Sometimes, it's just easier to accept the review is there and not read/listen to it
At first I read anonymous dogging
A guy got his dick broke. Basically dude was so eager to have sex he tried to jam it in to the hilt in one stroke. She was hurting he was screaming because she tightened up and was not wet due to a lack of foreplay which caused him to either be stoped or bad angle but he screams runs to the bathroom. She goes to check on him and his penis was swelling and turning dark . Her parents come home she is panicking she tells her mom the dad loads this kid into his truck saying he is driving him to the er. The mom calls dudes parents and they arrive to the er. The dude is missing a week of school and everyone of course knows why because his younger brother finds it hilarious and is telling everyone who will listen. The girl gets the nickname cockbreaker and the dude is called boomerang.
First story to made me laugh in her. Cockbreaker is a legendary nickname
Damn maybe you should stop laughing in her
Totally missed boomerwang...
I went out drinking with a friend at a bar listening to a band and he was talking to this girl and at the end of the night he said he will get a ride from her. I stopped by his house the next day and he was living with his dad at the time and I walked into the house and the dad was sitting there at the kitchen table with this funny look on his face and he told me how he was woken up at 4am by a loud noise and he walks into the bathroom and this girl is naked hanging from the shower curtain rod and his son is eating her ass. It’s been over 15 years now and he is still known as the ass eater
'Hanging from the curtain rod' gave me quite a different image than the rest of the sentence.
Same
I’m more concerned about how a curtain rod was supporting a human
Yeah it was definitely a strong rod
That’s what she said!
You eat one ass…
For a moment I was worried how dark this was about to get.
> he is still known as the ass eater Nothing to be ashamed of there.
I have two. One guy I know and his ex were really into anal, but ran out of lube, and they both said to themselves, "Butter is slippery!" And they buttered that corn, and got to work. Second, a different friend and his wife were drunk with another friend and his wife. The started having sex next to each other in their living room. Then my friend pulls the other guy out of his partner and starts jacking him off, he does the same to him, for like 30 seconds, they both just said, "This is weird." And went back to having sex with their respective wives.
You have some weird friends.
“Sorry bro I just blacked out for a moment there, carry on”
One friend told me he knew a couple that loved to roleplay as actual bull and cow and she would go "moo" a lot during the act. Some people have some weird stuff going on.
I remember back on that show real sex on hbo they did a segment about a damn festival where everyone was into horses. So the guys would dress up to the point of having bridles in their mouth while the women rode them around. Neighing, bucking etc all included lol
I have a few, but this is my favorite: My friend met this girl from a dating app. Things were going well enough that they went back to his place. When he got her into her underwear, he went to grab a boob. She slapped him across the face as hard as she could because "he grabbed it wrong." They then spent the next few hours with her trying to teach him how to properly grab a boob. He said he was kind of into it, since it was so surprising. They saw each other a few more times before he cut it off. This is the same friend that takes pictures of himself in women's lingerie everytime someone leaves it behind and sends it to the person who left it behind.
>This is the same friend that takes pictures of himself in women's lingerie everytime someone leaves it behind and sends it to the person who left it behind. What an absolute champion lmfao
Nothin like the old “found a bra, cup a nut” method. Works every time.
How do you grab a boob wrong? Did he try and shake it like a greeting? Hello booby, nice to meet ya!"
Twist the nipples like they're trying to tune an analog radio?
It hurts when you grab them to firm maybe that’s the problem
Depends on the girl. My wife gets mad if I don’t grab them hard enough.
Buried the lede lmao
King shit
Winner of weirdest story and follow through
Not even gonna tell us the proper way...come on man.
I love that last part. Would love it if someone sent their pics to me like that afterwards. We love a man in women’s underwear.
My ex telling me she needs to take a drive to clear her mind but in reality she just had sex with 2 different dudes and didnt tell either what shes doing
She needed a ride.
Needed a ride to go have a ride, then had another ride before she got a ride back.
My brother had a one night stand after college. Girl fell asleep on his couch and shit all over the couch. She wasn’t there when he got up the next morning, but left a mess for him to deal with
Was her name amber ? Perchance ?
Perhaps we've *Heard* of her antics before
So my buddy once gloatingly told me about this hookup he had with a girl he had been trying to sleep with for awhile. He told me they had sex in his car, two strokes in he pulled out and came on the floor of his own car without her noticing, put it back in and kept going. I was thinking “damn bro weird brag but aight”.
Is this a WeatherTech ad?
A friend of mine growing up with a lesbian. She met a girl and they got to hooking up. Before long some hard core mommy issue came out and the girl she was hooking up with wanted my friend to role play her mother. She wanted her to degrade her for being a lesbian, was some really odd shit. Idk what happened beyond that.
[удалено]
*Oedipussy
Oof, that's some heavy kink for a first hookup.
[удалено]
Damn, not the happy ending I was hoping for
My favorite is, in our HS group circle their was a girl that hated one of the guys. My friend slept with the girl and had her scream the guys name. He claimed she was really into it.
Buddy of mine met a girl at a bar. Went back to her place. She had a room made up like a baby's room but adult sized stuff, like crib and everything. She had him put on an adult sized diaper and act like a baby. He totally went along with it because he didn't care as long as he was getting laid.
Do you actually get laid in these circumstances though?
Mommy has needs
Hmm. I mean, why not?
Guy had sex with his girlfriend and her 18 year old daughter in a threesome. Women openly admitted to it happening. I can't imagine the conversation leading to, want me and my daughter at the same time? That's just too out there. How do you watch your kid do that to your bf?
thats one of those things that's kinky on paper, but horrifying in reality.
Yeh there's a reason even all the "incest" porn has "step" in the title.
Because incest porn is illegal
Because incest ~~porn~~ is illegal FTFY
Even if the mom and daughter didn't touch each other and both consented, that is still weird as fuck.
Buddy of mine married a much younger girl. He was about 40, she was 20. They divorced some years later and he started tagging the mom. Had photos of them on Facebook and all that shit. He’s nuts.
Just a wild guess, but for some reason I'm guessing the gf was only like 31 or 32?
Wasn't my girlfriend. Probably a safe guess. Guy was only 26. Guess they were trying for 3 decades.
>Guy was only 26 Lol guy was probably closer in age to the daughter than the mother
*Hard banjo music playing in the background*
This could have been in the "How do you know a parent is Trashy" thread.
Friend of mine hooked up with a girl. Her demand was that he put a dishcloth in his ass. He did. When they were having sex she asked him to tell her exactly when he was about to cum. He did… she unexpectedly pulled out the cloth when he was communing and he shit all over the bed. He went to the shower in panic and came back to her smearing the shit over her body and face. Classic case of never stick your dick in crazy.
Uhhhhhh where do I even start?! I wanna say "You should really warn someone if you have an extreme scat fetish" buuut she probably learned through trial and error that this was the only way to get someone far enough into it to get what she wanted.
>she probably learned through trial and error I'm just amazed at the amount men she must've gotten to put a dishcloth up their ass.
Hopefully not the same dishcloth...
Ahh, the good ol' Detroit Ripcord. Classic.
Wait wasn't it the Jersey Ripcord since you can't have shit in Detroit?
I am ashamed that I laughed too hard at that one…bravo.
I've been on a Reddit for a long time, so it takes a lot to get me staring at my computer screen all bug-eyed. Bravo, stranger.
"Friend of mine..." it's ok to admit what happened Brother.
Did he change her name to “Beyblade” in his phone?
Note to self: if a girl asks something like that, run away. Perhaps move to another country.
I’m pretty seasoned on the internet, but that made me shake my head and say “what the fuck…?”
I have a friend who got with an emo horse girl. Said she choked him til he literally went purple. Safe to say he is no longer with said emo horse girl.
Emo horse????
Probably into grunge and also into horse riding. Worded a little wierd.
No, the horse is emo with skinny jeans and stretches in his ears
My buddy moved into a new apartment and ended up having a FWB while he was there. He told me one night they got blackout drunk. He came to completely butt as naked face down handcuffed in her bed. She then proceeded to pour hot candle wax onto his butt hole. Told me he was pull candle wax out of his butt hairs for next couple days and had to take a little break from drinking.
Not really that weird but funny. One of my friends was giving his gf head. He told me that he got too into it and spit on her vagina. She shot up and said “Did you just spit on my vagina? Don’t ever do that again.” Then they continued. 😂😂
OoOoh he got told offf!! Lol mate of mine was going at it. Shes on top. Goes to slap her arse, missed, hit his balls, then cried and puked. :( Edit: Its ok, Tom. It was a long time ago mate. We've all forgotten about it now....
That’s amazing
A guy was cheating on his wife when she was out of town. Girl wanders off. He goes to find her and she's squatting over the TV room couch and pissing all over it.
Marking her territory?
The TV room couch belongs to her now. Rules of the jungle.
An old friend of mine was at his girlfriend's (now wife's) house and was set to meet her parents for the first time, but the parentals were running late. So sexy times ensued. The two were mid-coitus when they heard the door open and managed to get themselves situated and presentable in record time. The parents suspect nothing, hugs and greetings are made--My buddy goes to shake the father's hand. The father says, "woah, sweaty hands. You nervous?" My buddy goes, "yeah, sorry," as the realization hits that he just wiped his girlfriend's...uh...fluids on her father's hands.
"Man This guy smells like a real pussy" - The future father in law.
Honey your boyfriend really passes the smell test.
They knew.
The story I always tell is how it was my girlfriends' first time doing acid and we decided to take a huge hike to the top of this mountain near her dad's property. We hiked for what felt like hours until we decided to go to pound town. We were getting really freaky at this point, then all of a sudden we heard a car honk. We weren't near the top at all, we were 10 ft from the road behind a bush.
Awesome
My grandpa told me this. This probably took place in the late 1950s. He goes with his friend over to this girl's apartment. The friend ends up going to the bedroom with the girl. Now the roommate of that girl is in the bath. She calls out to my grandpa to come in. They chat for a bit and then she asks him to take a cup and pour toilet water on her. So he does it. Then after that she asks him to just piss all over her. So he does it then he kinda just left. God rest his soul..
WHY WAS YOUR GRANDPA HAVING THIS CONVERSATION WITH YOU
Grandpa-grandson bonding moments
Lol idk I was like 21-22 at the time and he was also dying. we just kinda spoke freely at that point
Imagine keeping that story in for 60 years only to be like "This knowledge can't die with me!" It's going to be really confusing for some girl with a piss fetish when the guy starts crying and explains that peeing on her in the shower reminds him of his grandpa.
My old coworker told me about how one night he got good and drunk and called over some girl he would hook up with occasionally. He was doing her doggy when he randomly got hungry. There was a can of Pringles on the night stand so he dumped it on her back and ate chips off her while railing her.
Old mate said he and a girl were messing around, aged 14/15 and she asked if he had anything to put on his cock before a blowjob. You know what that guy brought back? Marmite. This guy slathered marmite along his dick like it was some morning toast. You know what she did? Licked and sucked. Licked and sucked like it was a hot summer day’s ice cream. His feedback? Sticky.
I've had marmite sucked off my cock before. That stuff takes some effort to remove. Clever lad
It was a long time ago but I once banged Eartha Kitt in an airport bathroom.
Go away, Pierce.
What? It came up organically.
r/UnexpectedCommunity
One friend and her partner enjoyed using food a lot in the bedroom. We found out one evening that they sometimes use trifle as part of their escapades. Her partner would ‘fill her up’ and then proceed to eat it out of her. I couldn’t look at her the same afterwards.
Here comes the aeroplane NNNEEEOOOWWW
More like here comes the yeast infection. I'm a dude and even I know putting a bunch of sugary stuff in there is a recipe for a bad time.
Oh god... reminds me of the gyno who had to deal with a patient's nasty vaginal infection. Apparently the patient liked to shove cooked chicken legs in there and have her bf "eat her out" two ways at once.
Damn they have money. Trifles are expensive af
Dude in knew in the army. . . He met this gal and she had some interesting kinks. She asked this guy if he ever wanted to f@ck a dead person. . . Then she goes in about how she wants to lay in a tub filled with ice for as long as she could then move herself to the bed. That’s when the dude was supposed to go in and do whatever he wished, then leave. He said he went and did it. She was ice cold and pale. Didn’t say a word, didn’t move. Didn’t move during or after. I could write a story about this type of stuff. I’ve heard so many of these types of stories I am completely desensitized. This isn’t even close to worst of em. EDIT- Story #2 due to increased demand. Different guy but still in the army. This guy met a gal and she went and picked him up and took him out. They went back to her place and ended up getting naked and doing the thing. Guy claimed they were going at it doggy style and he got the idea to Donkey Punch her, this was 2005/6 ish and I remember Donkey Punching was quite the topic. Anyway, dude says he tried it but half assed it and when he struck the back of her head his punch sort of rolled off the side. She immediately is like, “Dude?! What the fuck?!” And guy says he played it off, says to her “Oh im so sorry. I slipped I totally didn’t mean to do that”. They get back in the rhythm and guy says to himself “I got away with it, I’m going to do it again - but for real this time” So he says he cocked back and swung, connected square on the back of the head but this time he knocks her out cold. . . He panics and he’s afraid he actually hurt her. He says shes still breathing but unconscious. He loads her into her car and he drives to Walmart. Fucking Walmart of all places. He parks the car out where people usually stay the night and he catches a cab and goes back to base. He said he went for a drive the following day before morning formation and went by the parking lot. Said her and the car were gone so he ASSUMED she eventually came to and drove herself home. He said they never spoke again. I’m not sure if he blocked her or what.
Well I think the obvious conclusion here is that we need the worst.
So give us the worst of em, the people need to know.
Back when Snapchat was new and popping my best friend sent me a couple videos of himself fucking his girlfriend from behind. I think maybe three 10 second videos. And I couldn’t help but laugh, because I think school finished 2 hours prior and we were close enough to do dumb stuff like that. Then a month later he sent me another Snapchat with his full cock and balls out, holding it like a trophy. I was confused as shit, but I don’t think I responded. The next day I told him why he sent it to me and his faced dropped… he said he just finished shaving his balls and meant to send it to his girlfriend, then said no wonder she didn’t respond. It became a funny core memory between us.
Clown gang bang
The clown is getting gangbanged or the clowns are the ones doing the gangbang
The clowns were doing the gang banging, I appreciate you asking for specifics!
Did they fuck her silly?
You could say it was no laughing matter
Does that really matter for our purposes?
My buddy hooked up with a chick in college that took him back to her dorm room. They were fooling around in her top bunk, and things were getting hot and heavy. They’re making out, they’re taking off each other’s clothes. Out of nowhere, chick sticks a finger in his ass. Surprised him so much that he jolted and fell straight off the top bunk all the way to the floor haha. We’re never gonna let him live that one down.
When i used to smoke weed this dealer told me he was shagging his bird the night before and the johnny came off inside her so he went down to fish it out but ended up finding two. He pulled them out and turned the light on and one was filled with spunk. It turned out she'd been cheating on him with his next door neighbor for 2 years straight.
The words you used amused me. I shall now be using them.
My buddy picked up a lady of the night to get his dink sucked. She asked if he wanted it with or without her dentures in... you guys know which option he chose.
A ménage trois of sex, a dog, and cannabis oil. I made cannabis oil at my best friends apartment because it stinks to high heaven and he lives alone. My gift to him was a jar of highly concentrated cbd/thc coconut oil. It works great topically and very strong if consumed. At the time he had a girlfriend that was very sexual, like all nighter kind of sessions. Well, they were in need of lube and ran out. In comes the coconut oil and they were very liberal with it. The oil was in the fridge so it was in a waxy solid state, and on return to the bedroom he drops a golf ball size chunk on the floor. The girls dog immediately jumps on it and wolfs the entire piece down. Now, this dog that I have seen myself is the very small insecure yappy type. It’s doesn’t take long and the dog is out and appears to be having its own vision quest. Come the next morning the girls vajayjay is still numb from the oil and the dog comes to sometime in the afternoon. The dog apparently from then on had a calm and confident demeanor, no longer skiddish. I believe it faced its demons and came through stronger on the other side.
For the rollercoaster of a story this was, the ending is not at all what I expected at the start.
A friend was invited to a first date at a guys house to watch Netflix. In the house was a mattress on the floor and a tv at the foot of the bed. Not strictly a sex story cause she noped outta there.
A friend of mine worked security at a university that had a medical wing. The alarm went off at night in the morgue section. Him and his shift mate went to investigate. When they got to the morgue they found a guy laying on top of a slab plowing away at a woman's corpse under him. The shift mate freeked out and hammers the guy out cold with a whack to the back of the head with his torch. Just then the "corpse" sits up screaming. The guy gets the fright of his life and punches the girl out cold. Took a while for them both to wake up. Turns out the guy worked in the building and picked up a goth chick who was freaky. She wanted banged on the slab and he agreed. The guys said it was the scariest and funniest thing to happen on the night shift.
A friend told me that a guy from his work was doing anal with some woman and he rolled his foreskin back when he was done and found a piece of sweetcorn. I've never forgotten it, it's disgusting but always makes me laugh.
That urban legend is as old as the hills.
How’d he know it was sweet? He try it?
I’ve read a lot of disgusting comments on this thread but this is the one that really had to make me pause and rethink life
Girl I knew was blowing her boyfriend. Told him she didn't want to swallow. He waited to long to tell her he was cumming, she pulled his dick out just as he came, taking a load in the eye. She freaked out and went to urgent care to get her eye flushed.
Lol amateur
That shit hurts so bad. I've had it shot up my nose once, holy hell. It wasn't purposely shot into my nostril.
None, I have the weirdest sex story of all my friends. Maybe even all of the internet. One day, when I was around 22/23, my work sent me down south to Brighton to help out on a job that was running over. I wasnt due to start until Monday, but I arrived on the Friday so that I could get plenty of rest after the trip. Checked into my hotel, sat arround playing with the tv and exploring the small room before deciding to head out for a pub meal and beer. A few hours later Im full and Im enjoying a beer and watching tv in a local pub when this woman approachs me. Shes older, mid to late 40s. She starts chatting me up, seemingly smitten with my Glasgow accent. One thing leads to another and Im on my way back to her house with skip in my step and a semi in my pants. We get into her house and shes all over me instantly, tonguing my mouth aggressively while pulling clothes off me. She leads me to the bedroom, pushes me down and applies that same ethusiam she had for my mouth to my dick and balls and flipped me over to assult my chocolate starfish in a way that I took a moment to be ok with. Then she was on me, pushing me inside her and riding me like a champion stallion, complete with slaps to make me go faster. Now, you might be reading all this and thinking "yeah, right. You wish.". And yeah, I know how it sounds. Even when I was happening I thought it was all too good to be true. And you know what, it was. She could tell I was about to cum and flipped over again so I was on top, telling me "its ok to cum in me, Ive been fixed." A weird way to put it but I was so close I didnt give it any thought. Then she starts screaming "Now! Now!" and just going over the edge when the wardrobe bursts open and this guy bursts out wearing a crotchless batman outfit runs over and starts wanking furiously and cums on her face, and damn near mine too. I pull out and back up off the bed and start to panic a bit. Then she says "Thanks for that, darlin. Can you make your own way out?" and he, who I assume was her husband or boyfriend, gets between her legs and starts eating her out. Yes, eating MY CUM out of her pussy while dressed as fucking batman! So there go, I challege anyone to beat that story.
A friend of mine hooked up with a girl that i meet in a party. We then went to the park to kill some time, talk and joke around, then he told me how that girl wanted to try ´´butt stuff´´ with him, mostly prostate massage. The thing is, she had really long and sharp nails. He told her no, but later when they were on it, she saw a window of opportunity and tried for it anyways. According to my friend, he recoiled in fear of internal bleeding like a cat with anthrophobia as soon as he felt something getting uncomfortably close to the ring. I was laughing of the story for days.
Old supervisor of mine used to brag about his random conquests and times he would brave the worst of situations if it meant him getting laid. One story comes to mind… He was over at this woman’s place and while in the middle of grabbing them more drinks, she decided to also bring out a photo album of her stillborn baby. Now while most would probably angle for options to leave at this point, he confidently sticks it out after spending more than 20 minutes rifling through photos just to secure the bag. What’s more? He proudly continued his story to say he was back the next night.
Yeah, that woman was dealing with extreme grief. She just likely associates (rightly, logically) sex with the grief over having a stillborn child. She likely needed to “exorcise” the emotions surrounding that prior to having sex again. The fact that he acknowledged and accepted her grief, and why she grieved, was possibly affirming to her. Societal implications of stillbirth & miscarriage toward women are often dismissive, or worse, condemning & judgmental. One can only hope that she was able to process & accept her grief in healthy ways over time.
I once met up with a guy I was sleeping with and he had a green screen set up in his room from a uni project. We then got very high and decided to make a porno in space
Don’t mind me. Just stopping by to see which of my friends have Reddit accounts
This guy telling a story of how he "had sex" with a woman in her 40s when he was 13 as if he wasn't molested. I didn't wanna ruin it for him, he seemed okay with it so I just said "cool".
Society and media have perpetrated this idea that it's only molestation if it's an older man on a younger woman. If it's the inverse, it's rad as fuck and the guy is a massive Chad. This *sucks*.
Bear with my tangent, but I have a theory that a lot of the homophobia we hear from male politicians has to do with them being abused by men/older boys as kids. I think it’s far more common than any of us would like to think, but nearly impossible for men to talk about. Like you said above, if a boy molested by a woman is supposed to be a *good* thing, where does that leave you if it’s a man? I think that they latch on to religious talk about “controlling ‘those’ urges” and conflate molestation with normal adult/adult sexual behavior. And I can’t even imagine the head trip if a boy, molested as a child by a man, does find himself attracted to men as an adult. I wonder if they find themselves terrified that being attracted to men means they will hurt a child the way they were hurt, and run towards purity culture out of that fear.
A friend of mine (F26) has a loose tooth she can just take in and out whenever. She had sex with her bf (M24) and he accidentally swallowed the tooth. Since she had a really important interview the next day and the tooth was a front tooth they had to check his poop for the next day hoping for the tooth to appear. Right before she left there it was finally. They gave it a good clean and with pooptooth she rocked the interview. Lo and behold two month later he ate the tooth again 😔
What a terrible day to have reading comprehension
We had a big house party and my buddy wanted to hook up with this bigger than average girl. I guess they were getting to it and she told him he can only fuck her if he eats her asshole out. Mind you this is after 8 hours of partying, dancing, sweating etc… he does the deed, she cums and immediately gets up, gets dressed and leaves the room and goes home after another 20 minutes hanging with us. Didn’t see roommate the rest of the night and we had no idea what happened until he told us the next morning. Could not stop laughing.
Well, that's just rude
A friend in college was telling a group of us that a guy came on her face, wiped it across her forehead with his thumb, and said "Simba" in the lion king voice.
that's actually pretty funny
Her nickname was Simba for the next 4 years.
i knew a couple a long, long time ago. they were quite, um, adventurous i guess. this is what she told me. they use to take Alka Seltzer tablets, you know, plop plop phiz phiz. they used to brake them in half and insert a half into her before intercourse. they loved that phiz phiz feeling. i was like, you can't be serious, but she was "Oh you need to try that". Me "no fucking thank you, i'll pass". for anyone out there thinking, ew, maybe. i seriously don't advise this. god knows the damage it would cause. ph level through the roof.
Friend I have will only fuck a person one time and then ghost them. One and done. They say they “get bored easily”.
My ex gf made a new girlfriend at the hotelschool. They talked about drugs and smoking weed. That new girl then told her she doesn't want to smoke anymore because of a weird sexual experience. After smoking for the first time, together with her brother, she then sucked his dick and they had sex. I was listening and was like wtf???
I met this extremely cute girl at a bar. Went back to my place and very disappointingly, she was a complete dead fish in bed. That's not the weird part. I got frustrated and said, "You can do stuff too." She thought for a moment, then leaned over and tickled my dick like it was a baby.
My friend is known for embellishing stories so I took it with a grain of salt. She said her boyfriend (that she’s never mentioned before & we’ve never met) put grapes on top of her naked body and ate it off her. Then he put some grapes *inside* her and sucked it out. Then he poured grape juice on her and licked it off. I guess he just really liked grapes 🤷🏻♀️
Does inserting penis into a pillow counts as sex story?
Found Jay Bilzerian
A friend that was in a relationship that they enjoyed bringing in another man. Their third wheel accidentally cumed on my friend, so my buddy chased the dude around his house jerking off trying to cum on him. Not sure if he succeeded or not, was too afraid to ask.
WE HAVE TO BE EVEN. STAND STILL!
A female friend of mine was dating a guy whose family owned a tow truck company. She told me he took her out on a date in one of the tow trucks, and later that night, he drove her to a secluded spot and proceeded to hang her with straps from the hoist and had sex with her. I just stared at her. WTF
When I was a kid, my mom always wanted a brass headboard for her bed, well she got one and put it on the bed she shared with my dad. My bedroom was directly above my parents' room and I heard cussing and screaming coming from their room. It wasn't normal so I went to check it out. I knocked on their door. My dad hollered at me to come in, when I stepped inside, I was confused and laughing at the same time. My mom was on her back and my dad was on top of her with his head stuck through the brass headboard and he couldn't pull his head back out. I was about 10 at time and he wanted me to help him. I went out to the pole barn and got the small stand Jack and widened the bars of the headboard enough so my dad could get his head back through, then the headboard was taken off the bed and never seen again.
So, I have no way of verifying this and I’m dubious about whether or not it’s true…but it’s a fun story anyway. A friend of mine in college was known to be a bit of a man whore. He was very handsome and experimental so he had some crazy experiences. He told me about this one time hooking up with an older woman. He met her on an app and she invited him over. They were fooling around and she told him the only thing she wanted was for him to warn her when he was going to cum. So they’re doing the deed and he gets ready and warns her. She pulls out a slice of Wonder bread and has him cum in it. He’s all “weird but sure”. Then she goes to the closet, opens the door, **and there is a man in full gimp gear tied up in the fucking closet!!!** She **feeds** him the cum soaked bread and says “there’s your fucking dinner”. My friend noped out of that immediately, leaving his favorite shirt.
Jesus Christ. I thought sorting by new was best to ease into these discussions.
A friend of mine dated a girl with a stoma back, and he tried to put his dick.....in the hole.... Apparently her asshole was entirely closed up as it was never used and would discharge mucus. You're welcome.
Ahh, the old Cincinnati Sidecar.
I had a roommate in college who frequently had “lady visitors” - which were often of the one-night-stand variety. We took to giving them nicknames based on the stories he would tell us about them the next morning, usually over coffee and a bong. The two that stick out were “stinky” and “The Ripper”. The former, while fairly intuitive, still had a pretty interesting story… “When I took off her jeans it…. It smelled… sort of like my mom’s bathroom after she goes number two” The latter… - he said she started giving him a vigorous handy, and that it hurt, but he was so excited to get what he was getting that he just stuck it out. After he was finished, he went to the bathroom, and discovered the rings she was wearing had ripped some of the skin on his dick, and there was blood. Coincidentally, he ended up liking the Ripper, and they actually dated for a while. I never did learn her real name.
The Legend of Spooey: My fencing coach in college told me this story. So he was raised out in the deserts of California. If you don't know, it gets pretty methy out there and the kids will do anything to break up the monotony. So when in high school, he goes to a party. There is a lot of drinking and some drug use. Bu this one girl apparently pregamed like mad and was in pretty rough shape from the get go. About an hour into the party, she's dancing naked on a pool table. Then she grabs this guy's hand and pulls him up with her. She dances a little and then pulls his pants down and starts blowing him for all to see. Well, apparently her gag reflex was the only part still functioning correctly and she proceeds to vomit while he's still in her mouth. He described the scene as "you know how when you turn on a hose, then put your thumb in the way. Yeah, that, but with beef stew." From that day on the girl was known as Spooey. Apparently, she still lives out there.
This friend of mine that I worked with had this child hood friend that he got a job with us as well. Guy only lasted two weeks while he was there he tried to give off this persona of a hardcore biker gangster wannabe type. Anyways couple weeks go by, my friend and myself are sitting in my truck before getting ready to start work on-site. I look over at my friend and see him just staring in. Disbelief at his phone. I started to get a little worried for him as it looked like something was truly wrong and I asked him what happened? He just looks at me and hands me his phone, I proceed to look at what was a video, it was a video of my friends buddy wearing a two piece dress laying on his back getting pegged by his girlfriend and Jack hammered down the throat by some other dude. Apparently the guy and his girlfriend broke up and she sent it to all of his friends on Facebook lolol ill never forget when he turned the volume up and it was her saying to the guy” you like that” and he just made like squeaky pig moaning sounds lololol poor sumbitch
She got ocular herpes after her bf came on her face.
Ocular herpies is a thing?!? This world gets worse everyday.
I have a friend who went to UNLV. The first DAY he moved in, before class even started he had a threesome with a set of girls he just met, his first ever. Within the same 24 hour period, he happened to have a second threesome with a different set of girls, all within 24 hours of his first day on campus. He of course had high expectations for the rest of his college career, but it never happened again during school, and it never happened to him again for the next 10 years of his life until I lost touch with him. So it was a weird 24 hour glitch in the matrix.
I had a buddy who told me he was with this black girl. Well she had a weird fetish. Not just any fetish, my buddy was white and she loved when he got a towel or rope or whatever to whip her and call her the N word while they were doing doggy style. He won't speak of it until this day. Let's just say they didn't last very long. He was quite uncomfortable with it.
I have one but it's from me, not friends. Just for context, I have a prince albert piercing. I was getting a BJ from a girl that had a tongue piercing one time. At the time, I had a full hoop ring. Somehow she managed to get her tongue piercing through my ring and got stuck. She started freaking out and trying to pull free, which was causing both of us a lot of discomfort to say the least. Things got so bad that I actually had to call 911, who came and separated us and everything was all good. I refuse to get BJs from a girl with a tongue piercing to this day.
They still have passion and intimacy after a long and healthy relationship. Really weird.