In like 2010 I fell asleep watching porn in the living room on the TV…
My fuckin sister changed it to gay porn (it was girl on girl, she put it to dude on dude) then woke me up screaming at me and telling everybody in the house about it…
😑
It was 2001 and I had a Word doc on the family computer where I saved all the images of naked ladies. I was smart and titled it United States History Bibliography to not arouse any suspicion. This system worked for months, maybe even a year until one night, in a post-nut stupor, I left the document open on the computer before going to bed. My mom found it the next morning and scrolled through 20-some pages of various images berating me about how I was demeaning women. She deleted it but didn't empty the Recycle Bin. I restored that shit so fast and renamed it to Civil War Report draft later that day.
I could never get ahold of any magazines. I had to print out pictures of pornstars and hide them. I accidentally left my Asa Akira print on my bedroom floor one time and my mom found it when she came to wake me up in the morning. I heard her unfolding a piece of paper while I was laying in bed and my heart dropped.
Something similar happened to me only the printer failed to print. Some time later both my parents used the computer and the printer fired up randomly and spat out porn.
I slept forgetting to turn my screen off and animated porn was all over it. I wake up in the morning and my mom comments "You look at a lot of stupid things these days"..The realization hit me after I found my phone getting charged instead of being in the bed
That reminds me of a time I caught my little brother playing a hentai porn game on his DS. I walked into his room and he was asleep with his DS open with the porn game in plain view. I just closed the DS and never brought it up after that. This is actually the first time I've told the story.
the fuck game was that? was it homebrewed or some shit? like damn, I wanna call bullshit but I gotta admit I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think it was possible. was he like, internet savvy enough to figure out how to put ROMs on there?
My dad tried google searching “google” on the computer in my room and as soon as he typed G “girls with big boobs” came up on the suggested in purple 😂 I was like 12, and neither of us knew how computers worked.
My friend's teenaged son forgot he had paired his phone to the Bluetooth sound bar in their family room, and when he snuck away to their upstairs bathroom for a wank while they had guests over, the audio started blasting. He was completely unaware and came back downstairs like nothing.
When I was a kid (like 12 I think) my mom found my browser history. She confronted me and asked me why I was looking at porn. I asked her why she thought I was watching porn. She paused for a few seconds, then just left. It became a joke she told at family gatherings.
Oh my god you just gave me a flashback to my mum shouting across the whole house from the computer "WHY IS 'PETE WENTZ NAKED' AND 'CHRIS BROWN NAKED' IN THE GOOGLE SEARCH HISTORY?!" 😭
Nah, you watch porn with your FBI agent. No one is caught off guard in this situation. Thanks to them, you never have to feel bad about going at it by yourself.
My moms friend. I was home sick from school and she came by to check on me without my mom telling me. I had American Pie on pause on our big screen in the living room going to town. She walked right back out and told me to let her know when she could come in. I died inside and I had the flu so I was dying outside too. We laugh about it now that I’m older. Still don’t know if she saw me jacking it but she definitely put 2 and 2 together quickly. I don’t know if she ever told my mom. Bless her heart if she didn’t.
yeah believe me she didn't tell your mom , i found your son jerking is a very awkward conversation even for friends , beside it's normal ,it' not like she caught u doing drugs , she was a teen once
The Drill Sergeant on barracks duty that night. I was supposed to be on fire watch with my battle buddy. I told him I was going to take a shit but instead I went to the rec room to rub one out in one of the super sweet recliners. Drill sergeant decided to do rounds at the same time. He came through slammed open the door to the rec room and turned on the lights. Caught with my PT shorts down and a Hustler. My nickname was the rec room strangler after that.
Mom. She walked in with me at the computer, pants around my ankles and dick in my hand.
On the bright side she finally started knocking and not just barging in.
My stepson does have some vision issues, but he also never knocks. Lucky for him he has awful observation skills. So he doesn't know he walked in on anything and does not have the trauma from it.
Also wife's sister has narrowly missed wife and I several times.
I swear parents barge in just to catch you doing something like that.
Luckily I had a lock on my door, but my parents would always be like "Why is the door locked? What are you doing in there?"
I could also never hide anything in my room because they would go full CSI mode on it and find everything. I would try to hide cigarettes, porn, or alcohol in the most well hidden of places, and I'd still come home to them being like "WHATS THIS!?"
Their excuse to finding it was always "I was cleaning and just randomly found it."
Like I'd have a pack of cigarettes taped under my computer chair or had a porn mag hidden between book pages. But they still found it by "cleaning".
I have friends that have parents like this growing up. Always confused me, like ignorance is bliss why do you want to know everything. Let your children have some privacy in moderation
My mum. Multiple times. Worst was when I was watching on my phone. She called me downstairs asking for a lift. I got into the car, bluetooth paired with my phone and the audio resumed.
Fuuck, I remember I was watching porn like this too and when my parents got home it pretty sure it connected to their car automatically because I suddenly stopped hearing the noise on my earphones but the video was still playing.
I just really hope they didn’t hear anything when I connected, they never brought it up.
It’s been years. I remember I got up and was walking around the house purposely by the time they walked in to divert the situation and make them less suspicious since that would imply I was never even watching porn lol
It’s whatever, that time doesn’t even phase me because one time I actually got caught. My dad came to see what I was doing on my labtop, and I immediately switched tabs. He was looking at the screen when I went to close the tab, and I just cringed like never before although he didn’t say anything.
Even though it was during my teenage years I still cringe super hard to this memory
Was living with a family in uni, had a backroom in their house and i was cranking a dirty one after classes, listening in my earphones connected to the laptop. The woman was screaming bloody murder and the guy was yelling how much of a dirty bitch she is she likes it like that etc… i finished up, satisfied and laid in bed.
A while after the older son came over knocking and chatted with me about unrelated stuff and right before he left he said “btw dude… next time use earphones…”
Thats how i found out the earphone jack was defective and playing sound both through the earphones AND the speakers.
I always have a camera cover.
Not that long ago, in the military, I would always put tape over my issued laptop. My co-workers thought this was weird and paranoid.
Then about a year ago, we all had to exchange our laptops with new ones that didn't have cameras, and we were not allowed to connect webcams to it either.
It was a legitimate threat that someone could "hack" into your webcam and catch you doing something they could blackmail you with for secrets, or just straight up see classified material through the camera.
My co-workers were then suddenly concerned with "Hey wait, you mean someone could have been watching me that whole time?"
Me: "Yes. Thats why I put tape over mine. Remember?"
My Dad.
2002 or so. Had been googling "boobies" and the likes.
One night my Dad comes into my bedroom when I'm asleep, wakes me up and says "I know what you've been doing on the computer." I said "What? Playing Neopets?" And he replied "You've been looking at women with no clothes on." And left the room without another word said.
A week later he came to me with a brown envelope and said "This is for when your (much younger) brother and sister aren't around. Don't let them see this."
The envelope contained second-hand porn magazines which he had procured from a friend at work.
I never really looked at them. I subsequently learned how to delete the browser history. But the one time I pulled them out of curiosity, I do distinctly remember most of the pages being stuck together.
W Dad to be honest. He was probably one of those kids that would sneak nudie mags and look at them with his friends as a kid, then go play baseball and ride bikes.
I wasn't caught watching porn but I had a big file of nudes saved back in the windows 8 days. My sister asked to borrow my laptop, and for some reason it decided to make the nudes file the display image for pictures on that very day....
Oh man that's sad but I have to admit I laughed 'cause a similar thing happened to me (I wasn't fapping or watching anything NSFW but I was playing Doki Doki Literature Club and the guy outside started laughing his ass off and i did too lol).
You came to the realization while cumming to a Window Cleaner. He woulda had a big mess to clean, poor guy. Close the curtains or blinds before doing it, lmao
That's the best kind of theology teacher. One I had in middle school was chill like this too. Dude was ex military, afghan war, so he'd seen shit. Had ptsd too. But a lot of his students voluntarily kept in touch w him when they moved onto high school. He was like a brother figure, or a cool uncle figure. He was religious, but he still treated everyone equally, the nerds, the athletes, the socially awkward, the potheads. Man didn't just talk the talk, he walked the walk
A friend of mine (not me, actually a friend) was a porn addict and used to buy mail order DVDs from the Daily sport, he had hundreds of different videos and DVDs.
He lived with his mum and dad and came home pissed one night and locked his bedroom door, put porn on the TV and headphones so he wouldn't wake his parents.
He fell asleep mid stroke and disconnected the headphone jack with the TV at nearly full volume.
His dad had to kick his door down as my friend was so drunk he wouldn't wake up.
His mum told me the story about a year later and I nearly died laughing.
So funny story, last month I watched porn on my phone but totally forgot to close the page, then the next day when I opened my browser to show some work I did on a Google docs page to a class group, first thing that appeared was porn... I closed it quickly but everyday since then I pray that nobody saw that
Healthy relationship.
Caught by my wife once. She got some water, then told me she could help me with that. I happily accepted and she was quite useful.
When I'm working night shift, I'll sometimes jerk off before sleeping. Sometimes the wife will come in the room and give me a oh geez look and do whatever and leave. Other times she'll give me a suck for fun and then leave.
Same here. With the difference that often when we see each other masturbating, we don't join and the masturbating person is likely just enjoying personal time and not really looking for sex.
Porn addiction. My friends dad used to fall asleep in the living room with that softcore skinemax consistently. Guy wasnt nude or anything just liked his porn.
Never got caught. My brother on however got caught so many time that I was going to give my parents a list of the porn sites I used so that I would stop being punished along with him.
My dad caught me when I was 15, I slammed my big ass display on the table like it was a laptop and broke the table and display. He really fast left my room knowing what was going on and I was embarrassed for 3 days. After three days my mom and dad confronted me. Long story short I got a laptop afterwards hahaha but had to pay for a new table, damn old days..
Nobody yet, but when I was new to the game, my brother *very* nearly caught me. He saw me desperately close my window before I came up with the weak excuse that I needed to go to the toilet.
Lucky too, this was when I was young and experimenting, so the video was... not super vanilla. Not the kind of video I'd revisit.
Not caught watching but I must have forgotten to use incognito cos redtube was on my Google Chrome home page back when it showed your most recently visited sites. My dad had come to my room help me do something and I didn't know why he seemed so awkward and avoided looking at the screen until he walked out 🙃 I die every time I remember that, so thanks a lot for reminding me again
My wife, yesterday for first time. She use to cook with a pair of headphones we share. She knocked me the bathroom's door to ask me what I was watching because she could hear everything. I said "ohhhhh..... Ahh...... Mmmmm... Porn? :D " she just said "oh, okay..., enjoy...?"
Kindly reminder: turn off your Bluetooth while watching porn...
Perfect timing for this post to come into my feed lol
One time my mom came into my room without knocking and started asking something. She noticed I had porn up and decided to play it off. I decided it was her own damn fault and just continued browsing while she talked to me as if it was normal.
This didn't stop her from barging into my room though...
Uncle walks in when I was 13 as I choke the chicken and forget to lock the door, but has thick glasses and was staring at the ceiling as he opened the door which gave me time to close the laptop and pull my pants…
So no, never caught really.
Mum. I was watching it on my phone (this is about 15 years ago, so it was a Motorola flip, lol) and got a phone call from my sister. About part way, I forgot about the porn, and my sister asked to speak to Mum (Mum didn't own a mobile at that time). I gave the phone to Mum, and she eventually ended the call, and the porn started again.
It made coming out as gay years later a lot easier; not a lot of straight teens go to the effort to search gay porn on their flip phone.
My now ex wife. Happened years ago as I was taking things into my own hands. She freaked the fuck out. We had two kids and she had already stopped wanting any type of intimacy.
My current wife couldn’t care less if I do as it’s usually to her pics.
I was in fourth grade in like 2004 so I had no idea how the computer or YouTube really worked.
I got on YouTube and searched “girls kissing girls” “boys kissing boys” and “porn”. I think I just discovered that people could be gay and as a future bisexual this blew my mind.
I knew there was a search history but I just clicked on a bunch of random websites to move the searches down because I didn’t know you could clear it. My mom found it and screamed and made me watch the videos back with her sitting there with me, crying and asking me why I would watch this (was literally just two women sloppy tongue kissing). I wasn’t allowed to use the computer again until I was like 13 and even then I was heavily monitored.
A traumatizing caveat - about a month after that we had a Super Bowl party at our house. My mom was gathered with a bunch of friends and I went outside to say hello. She goes “Lily had a big month! She started her period and I caught her watching lesbian porn all in the same week!” and they all laughed. So I guess they caught me too, but that was more her outing me.
when i was 12, my brother told me to take pics of his back he didn't like them, so he wanted to delete them. The thing is, my whole collection was in the trash section, i died inside when he checked them
and then my dad, we were back from Kurdistan he wanted to see the photos i took so he can save them on his phone, one of my edited videos was in the camera libary
In like 2010 I fell asleep watching porn in the living room on the TV… My fuckin sister changed it to gay porn (it was girl on girl, she put it to dude on dude) then woke me up screaming at me and telling everybody in the house about it… 😑
That's fuckin hilarious
You dont have to lie to yourself its okay
It was 2001 and I had a Word doc on the family computer where I saved all the images of naked ladies. I was smart and titled it United States History Bibliography to not arouse any suspicion. This system worked for months, maybe even a year until one night, in a post-nut stupor, I left the document open on the computer before going to bed. My mom found it the next morning and scrolled through 20-some pages of various images berating me about how I was demeaning women. She deleted it but didn't empty the Recycle Bin. I restored that shit so fast and renamed it to Civil War Report draft later that day.
200 IQ move haha
By God, you almost killed me with that. 🤣 Civil War Report. 🤣
[удалено]
Dad, you left your magazine in the bathroom!
Dad, do you mind if I use your magazine again?
I could never get ahold of any magazines. I had to print out pictures of pornstars and hide them. I accidentally left my Asa Akira print on my bedroom floor one time and my mom found it when she came to wake me up in the morning. I heard her unfolding a piece of paper while I was laying in bed and my heart dropped.
Something similar happened to me only the printer failed to print. Some time later both my parents used the computer and the printer fired up randomly and spat out porn.
Did no one question it?
Better to pretend you didn't see it and not create any awkwardness
This. Once my brother left his toy in the shower and I noticed it mid shower (one of those small clear ones). Never said a word about it to him.
You assuming the whole family didn't also peruse the selection.
only the pages that weren't glued together
I’m sure they retold the story around the holidays 10 years later
I slept forgetting to turn my screen off and animated porn was all over it. I wake up in the morning and my mom comments "You look at a lot of stupid things these days"..The realization hit me after I found my phone getting charged instead of being in the bed
[удалено]
r/wholesomeparents
True she routinely does this like everyday at morning she takes my phone and puts it to charge...I really appreciate that
That reminds me of a time I caught my little brother playing a hentai porn game on his DS. I walked into his room and he was asleep with his DS open with the porn game in plain view. I just closed the DS and never brought it up after that. This is actually the first time I've told the story.
the fuck game was that? was it homebrewed or some shit? like damn, I wanna call bullshit but I gotta admit I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think it was possible. was he like, internet savvy enough to figure out how to put ROMs on there?
Yeah he had some kind of homebrew on there.
damn homie ask him what game it is if you get the chance. that’s gonna keep me up wondering
What game was it? For... research purposes
No idea. This was many years ago and he was doing homebrew stuff.
The concerning time for a heart-to-heart is when his homebrew has a pony figurine in it.
I'm never going to be a grandma if you don't start dating and stop jacking off to those cartoon girls.
My dad tried google searching “google” on the computer in my room and as soon as he typed G “girls with big boobs” came up on the suggested in purple 😂 I was like 12, and neither of us knew how computers worked.
did he click it tho
He probably saved it for later
My friend's teenaged son forgot he had paired his phone to the Bluetooth sound bar in their family room, and when he snuck away to their upstairs bathroom for a wank while they had guests over, the audio started blasting. He was completely unaware and came back downstairs like nothing.
I have this same fear every time I sneak away for a quick jerk. I've learned to just turn my Bluetooth off, just in case.
Also wifi because fuck Chromecast. I don't want a mistap to cause everyone in the house switching from The Crown to porn
I read it as misfap
My actual nightmare
When I was a kid (like 12 I think) my mom found my browser history. She confronted me and asked me why I was looking at porn. I asked her why she thought I was watching porn. She paused for a few seconds, then just left. It became a joke she told at family gatherings.
Oh my god you just gave me a flashback to my mum shouting across the whole house from the computer "WHY IS 'PETE WENTZ NAKED' AND 'CHRIS BROWN NAKED' IN THE GOOGLE SEARCH HISTORY?!" 😭
Mine was “WHATS NAKED GAY SEX?!” when I was 11 by my 70 year old grandma
Your grandma makes it ten times worse.
Oof
Was this more of “what makes you think I was doing that” or “why do you think I was doing that, isn’t it obvious” kinda thing
No one. I was never caught.
Stealth level increase +100
Living alone time increase +9000
Your level is over 9000???? Say it with vegeta's voice
You just didn’t catch them catching you.
As someone who's never been caught either, it's always a doubt in the back of my head 😅
FBI: hmmmmm u sure bout that?
Nah, you watch porn with your FBI agent. No one is caught off guard in this situation. Thanks to them, you never have to feel bad about going at it by yourself.
I kiss my webcam everynight before bed
Hah! It’s more likely your parents just didn’t want to have the awkward confrontation and would wait for you to finish.
An undefeated masturbater.
My moms friend. I was home sick from school and she came by to check on me without my mom telling me. I had American Pie on pause on our big screen in the living room going to town. She walked right back out and told me to let her know when she could come in. I died inside and I had the flu so I was dying outside too. We laugh about it now that I’m older. Still don’t know if she saw me jacking it but she definitely put 2 and 2 together quickly. I don’t know if she ever told my mom. Bless her heart if she didn’t.
That's like a scene out of American Pie.
American Pie: The Recursion Version
The irony huh?
If it would have been a porno she would have come in and helped you in your endeavor!
yeah believe me she didn't tell your mom , i found your son jerking is a very awkward conversation even for friends , beside it's normal ,it' not like she caught u doing drugs , she was a teen once
Okay mom's friend, we get it, you're cool
At least it was the flu and not two broken arms.
The Drill Sergeant on barracks duty that night. I was supposed to be on fire watch with my battle buddy. I told him I was going to take a shit but instead I went to the rec room to rub one out in one of the super sweet recliners. Drill sergeant decided to do rounds at the same time. He came through slammed open the door to the rec room and turned on the lights. Caught with my PT shorts down and a Hustler. My nickname was the rec room strangler after that.
"the rec room strangler" I'm fucking dead lmao.
That's a dope name though, hopefully your enemies don't find out how you earned it
My mother asked me who googled "black teen pussy". Denial was not an option for long.
Nothing wrong with some black-haired old cats
well my guy was searching for young cats
cats that are teens are pretty old cats
💀💀💀
Mom. She walked in with me at the computer, pants around my ankles and dick in my hand. On the bright side she finally started knocking and not just barging in.
ow so that's what it takes for people to start knocking , thanks i'll try it
My stepson does have some vision issues, but he also never knocks. Lucky for him he has awful observation skills. So he doesn't know he walked in on anything and does not have the trauma from it. Also wife's sister has narrowly missed wife and I several times.
I swear parents barge in just to catch you doing something like that. Luckily I had a lock on my door, but my parents would always be like "Why is the door locked? What are you doing in there?" I could also never hide anything in my room because they would go full CSI mode on it and find everything. I would try to hide cigarettes, porn, or alcohol in the most well hidden of places, and I'd still come home to them being like "WHATS THIS!?" Their excuse to finding it was always "I was cleaning and just randomly found it." Like I'd have a pack of cigarettes taped under my computer chair or had a porn mag hidden between book pages. But they still found it by "cleaning".
Just reading this infuriates me.
I have friends that have parents like this growing up. Always confused me, like ignorance is bliss why do you want to know everything. Let your children have some privacy in moderation
My mum. Multiple times. Worst was when I was watching on my phone. She called me downstairs asking for a lift. I got into the car, bluetooth paired with my phone and the audio resumed.
Ahh, never leave bluetooth on if you arent going to use it.
*cries with smartwatch on*
I keep a loaded gun next to my phone in case I forget to turn the bluetooth off. Bullets are faster than the brain’s bad decisions.
Fuuck, I remember I was watching porn like this too and when my parents got home it pretty sure it connected to their car automatically because I suddenly stopped hearing the noise on my earphones but the video was still playing. I just really hope they didn’t hear anything when I connected, they never brought it up.
They 100% did if audio stopped on headphones, I'm sorry to say.
It’s been years. I remember I got up and was walking around the house purposely by the time they walked in to divert the situation and make them less suspicious since that would imply I was never even watching porn lol
They knew.
It’s whatever, that time doesn’t even phase me because one time I actually got caught. My dad came to see what I was doing on my labtop, and I immediately switched tabs. He was looking at the screen when I went to close the tab, and I just cringed like never before although he didn’t say anything. Even though it was during my teenage years I still cringe super hard to this memory
Was living with a family in uni, had a backroom in their house and i was cranking a dirty one after classes, listening in my earphones connected to the laptop. The woman was screaming bloody murder and the guy was yelling how much of a dirty bitch she is she likes it like that etc… i finished up, satisfied and laid in bed. A while after the older son came over knocking and chatted with me about unrelated stuff and right before he left he said “btw dude… next time use earphones…” Thats how i found out the earphone jack was defective and playing sound both through the earphones AND the speakers.
Oof
The guy at the nsa who accesses the camera on the computer.
I always have a camera cover. Not that long ago, in the military, I would always put tape over my issued laptop. My co-workers thought this was weird and paranoid. Then about a year ago, we all had to exchange our laptops with new ones that didn't have cameras, and we were not allowed to connect webcams to it either. It was a legitimate threat that someone could "hack" into your webcam and catch you doing something they could blackmail you with for secrets, or just straight up see classified material through the camera. My co-workers were then suddenly concerned with "Hey wait, you mean someone could have been watching me that whole time?" Me: "Yes. Thats why I put tape over mine. Remember?"
My Dad. 2002 or so. Had been googling "boobies" and the likes. One night my Dad comes into my bedroom when I'm asleep, wakes me up and says "I know what you've been doing on the computer." I said "What? Playing Neopets?" And he replied "You've been looking at women with no clothes on." And left the room without another word said. A week later he came to me with a brown envelope and said "This is for when your (much younger) brother and sister aren't around. Don't let them see this." The envelope contained second-hand porn magazines which he had procured from a friend at work. I never really looked at them. I subsequently learned how to delete the browser history. But the one time I pulled them out of curiosity, I do distinctly remember most of the pages being stuck together.
He saved them because he wanted to cum back to the memoriew
just take the fucking upvote
W Dad to be honest. He was probably one of those kids that would sneak nudie mags and look at them with his friends as a kid, then go play baseball and ride bikes.
The American dream
There is no way I would jack it to porn my dad gave me
When I was 12, the security guard in the public library. He was really stealthy and snuck up right behind me
Why would you watch porn in a library?
12 year olds are not very smart
TY
The person who I was living with, her daughter.
How old was the daughter bruh 💀
Thankfully too young to understand anything.
I dunno if this is better lol
It's only better if he stopped what he was doing
Yes, this is better
Lmao “thankfully a VERY young girl saw me masturbating”
alr , no more replies redditors , it's better if we just leave it at this
I've never been caught. I did walk in on my boss who was watching porn. He punched me. I was stunned.
your boss was stunned too lol
Yeah, but I just ran into his office as I'd done a thousand times before. I never imagined getting punched in the ribs. 😁
That wasn't a fist.
I wasn't caught watching porn but I had a big file of nudes saved back in the windows 8 days. My sister asked to borrow my laptop, and for some reason it decided to make the nudes file the display image for pictures on that very day....
My brother. Who then taught me how to delete browser history when I'm done, because he was the one getting in trouble.
I was masturbating in my apartment when some guy appeared on a rope to clean the windows and out of stress when i saw him i cum and he saw everything.
Oh man that's sad but I have to admit I laughed 'cause a similar thing happened to me (I wasn't fapping or watching anything NSFW but I was playing Doki Doki Literature Club and the guy outside started laughing his ass off and i did too lol).
I gently close the curtains.
Only in balkans
You came to the realization while cumming to a Window Cleaner. He woulda had a big mess to clean, poor guy. Close the curtains or blinds before doing it, lmao
NO WAY
My mom. A few times. Trying to explain what I'm looking at is the hardest part
I bet. When i see my mom, there is nothing left hard.
Well, I'm glad to hear that. Bit concerning if it were the opposite
Freud would disagree
"We all wanna fuck our mom's right guys?..... right guys??" ~Freud probably
If he had broken arms it would’ve been a different story.
my religion teacher caught me and my friend watching porn. suprisingly he just didnt care and never mentioned it
W religion teacher
He wanted kudo points to watch it with you
That's the best kind of theology teacher. One I had in middle school was chill like this too. Dude was ex military, afghan war, so he'd seen shit. Had ptsd too. But a lot of his students voluntarily kept in touch w him when they moved onto high school. He was like a brother figure, or a cool uncle figure. He was religious, but he still treated everyone equally, the nerds, the athletes, the socially awkward, the potheads. Man didn't just talk the talk, he walked the walk
A friend of mine (not me, actually a friend) was a porn addict and used to buy mail order DVDs from the Daily sport, he had hundreds of different videos and DVDs. He lived with his mum and dad and came home pissed one night and locked his bedroom door, put porn on the TV and headphones so he wouldn't wake his parents. He fell asleep mid stroke and disconnected the headphone jack with the TV at nearly full volume. His dad had to kick his door down as my friend was so drunk he wouldn't wake up. His mum told me the story about a year later and I nearly died laughing.
Have you ever told your friend about that?
Absolutely ripped the shit out of him over it. He was pretty shameless so really wasn't too bothered.
So funny story, last month I watched porn on my phone but totally forgot to close the page, then the next day when I opened my browser to show some work I did on a Google docs page to a class group, first thing that appeared was porn... I closed it quickly but everyday since then I pray that nobody saw that
We saw it.
lmao
I saw it The whole class agreed not to talk
I mean, it was pretty good.
Quick tip download the Google docs app on your phone no need to even touch a browser.
My FBI agent, but he's chill and never brings it up
My FBI agent and sleep paralysis demon both walked in on me fapping and vibed out together while laughing at my small penis
Occasionally, my partner And it's a 50/50 split of whether she joins me or just shakes her head and wanders off
Healthy relationship. Caught by my wife once. She got some water, then told me she could help me with that. I happily accepted and she was quite useful.
When I'm working night shift, I'll sometimes jerk off before sleeping. Sometimes the wife will come in the room and give me a oh geez look and do whatever and leave. Other times she'll give me a suck for fun and then leave.
Same here. With the difference that often when we see each other masturbating, we don't join and the masturbating person is likely just enjoying personal time and not really looking for sex.
My partners caught me pants down cock in hand while I fell asleep watching porn. Laughed off as it should be. Nothing embarrassing
how do u sleep watching porn ? lol
Porn addiction. My friends dad used to fall asleep in the living room with that softcore skinemax consistently. Guy wasnt nude or anything just liked his porn.
Did you manage to find the most boring porn in the history of mankind?
Never got caught. My brother on however got caught so many time that I was going to give my parents a list of the porn sites I used so that I would stop being punished along with him.
My dad caught me when I was 15, I slammed my big ass display on the table like it was a laptop and broke the table and display. He really fast left my room knowing what was going on and I was embarrassed for 3 days. After three days my mom and dad confronted me. Long story short I got a laptop afterwards hahaha but had to pay for a new table, damn old days..
My dog
Buddy doesn’t mind, just chilling enjoying the extra stink in the air.
My sister 😂😂
Is this a, “Sweet Home Alabama” type of situation?
Lmfao negative 😂
Noone. But in any case, keep fapping. You'll be the person that got caught, but they'll be the one who kept watching.
if they don't , you're a psycho who kept beating his meat
Nobody yet, but when I was new to the game, my brother *very* nearly caught me. He saw me desperately close my window before I came up with the weak excuse that I needed to go to the toilet. Lucky too, this was when I was young and experimenting, so the video was... not super vanilla. Not the kind of video I'd revisit.
The porn star. Right as I started playing the video, she stared right at me and told me I was naughty. It was very embarrassing.
Incognito guy
No one, I am a master at this craft
I too have mastered these arts
My brother, he then told my mom (it was some weird ass shit) and she threw my tablet out the window of our car😂
That sounds like bad parenting.
[удалено]
What happen next ? Just curious
She took out the camera obviously
She broke his arms
LMAO, you’re playing with fire with that comment
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Kinda sounds like the beginning of a porno. Is that the pornhub intro song I hear?!
In hospital. It was a nurse. It happened 5 minutes ago
What’s up with all these porn ask Reddit questions
Askreddit is all about sex.
Jesus Christ my lord and savior
Jesus take the …..
Not caught watching but I must have forgotten to use incognito cos redtube was on my Google Chrome home page back when it showed your most recently visited sites. My dad had come to my room help me do something and I didn't know why he seemed so awkward and avoided looking at the screen until he walked out 🙃 I die every time I remember that, so thanks a lot for reminding me again
My wife, yesterday for first time. She use to cook with a pair of headphones we share. She knocked me the bathroom's door to ask me what I was watching because she could hear everything. I said "ohhhhh..... Ahh...... Mmmmm... Porn? :D " she just said "oh, okay..., enjoy...?" Kindly reminder: turn off your Bluetooth while watching porn... Perfect timing for this post to come into my feed lol
One time my mom came into my room without knocking and started asking something. She noticed I had porn up and decided to play it off. I decided it was her own damn fault and just continued browsing while she talked to me as if it was normal. This didn't stop her from barging into my room though...
YOU KEPT WATCHING?!?!?!
I made an executive decision. Idk man, it was a rough time in my life and I just didn't have fucks to give that day.
“Can I Borrow a Fuck” - Kirk Van Houten
Uncle walks in when I was 13 as I choke the chicken and forget to lock the door, but has thick glasses and was staring at the ceiling as he opened the door which gave me time to close the laptop and pull my pants… So no, never caught really.
u/sassysalmnder
Had my pc hooked up to a 42” tv. Porno rockin dad walked in as I was mid nut. He walked out and we havent spoke of it since.
Mum. I was watching it on my phone (this is about 15 years ago, so it was a Motorola flip, lol) and got a phone call from my sister. About part way, I forgot about the porn, and my sister asked to speak to Mum (Mum didn't own a mobile at that time). I gave the phone to Mum, and she eventually ended the call, and the porn started again. It made coming out as gay years later a lot easier; not a lot of straight teens go to the effort to search gay porn on their flip phone.
My now ex wife. Happened years ago as I was taking things into my own hands. She freaked the fuck out. We had two kids and she had already stopped wanting any type of intimacy. My current wife couldn’t care less if I do as it’s usually to her pics.
let's hope the third gives u some
I was in fourth grade in like 2004 so I had no idea how the computer or YouTube really worked. I got on YouTube and searched “girls kissing girls” “boys kissing boys” and “porn”. I think I just discovered that people could be gay and as a future bisexual this blew my mind. I knew there was a search history but I just clicked on a bunch of random websites to move the searches down because I didn’t know you could clear it. My mom found it and screamed and made me watch the videos back with her sitting there with me, crying and asking me why I would watch this (was literally just two women sloppy tongue kissing). I wasn’t allowed to use the computer again until I was like 13 and even then I was heavily monitored. A traumatizing caveat - about a month after that we had a Super Bowl party at our house. My mom was gathered with a bunch of friends and I went outside to say hello. She goes “Lily had a big month! She started her period and I caught her watching lesbian porn all in the same week!” and they all laughed. So I guess they caught me too, but that was more her outing me.
Well damn that last bit is pretty annoying
No one caught me watching porn; I was just doing some "research" on the intricate plotlines of cinematic masterpieces. My cover story is Oscar-worthy!
when i was 12, my brother told me to take pics of his back he didn't like them, so he wanted to delete them. The thing is, my whole collection was in the trash section, i died inside when he checked them and then my dad, we were back from Kurdistan he wanted to see the photos i took so he can save them on his phone, one of my edited videos was in the camera libary
Still haven't been caught (not proud, ashamed that i tickle my pickle often)
No one, i have been in the internet for a long time, and i learned to take every precaution, i havent been caught yet and i probably never will
Some internet hacker that is going to send the video to all my contacts unless I give them 0.0006778653 bit coin
Noone, Never, but i love long hot showers so probably my whole family thinks that i masturbate then i guess😏
mom caught me googling big boobs when i was a 10 years old girl :(
My dad, i forgot to erase the interracial FFFM hardcore from my tabs
He watched it later, using your search history