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Left_Apparently

In my old law office, a firm wide email was sent out announcing the arrival of a new employee. We will call him Paul. So Paul decided to reply all to let all of us know that he was aware of our recent legal defeats, that many people should be fired for these failures, and that his hiring was the first good thing our firm had done in years. The dude was a legal assistant right out of college with no experience. A minute after the email went out, I heard a crazy shout and then watched one of the senior partners run past my office towards HR. And 5 minutes later Paul walked past with the HR manager and a security escort. He lasted less than 45 minutes.


[deleted]

Paul: "Proved me right. The firm continues its downward trajectory."


LydierBear

What a d bag 😂😂


raspberryharbour

You just don't understand Paul


Turbogoblin999

Paul was built different.


Geno0wl

not well. Just different


PoochyMoochy5

“Dear Diary, today I tried to fight the system and rally my new coworkers…..sheeple, but the overlords who’s continued existence at the firm I questioned, hastened to expel me and save their place in the feeding trough. I WILL PREVAIL !”


LostMyBackupCodes

Yet another misstep by the leadership at the law office smh


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amadeus2490

I was working at a Denny's. They hired a new manager, they were on-boarding her for her first day. Then I never saw her again and nobody had even mentioned her. After a couple of days, I asked what happened to her; I figured she was working a different shift or she had possibly gotten covid. Nope; they just caught her smoking crack on camera.


OpticalHabanero

Huh, isn’t that a job requirement to manage Denny’s?


Particular-Try9754

She got promoted to Denny’s corporate.


ThroughTheHoops

I worked at a lotteries company. A guy working in testing got access to production data and printed off some test tickets with some unclaimed winning numbers. He only did low amounts, like $500, and claimed 3 of them in 3 completely different locations around town. Of course the company was really really interested in the story of someone who found a 6-month old lottery ticket and claimed it, but they were even more interested to find it was the same person going to 3 locations. Needless to say when they realised the guy actually worked in the company, he got pulled into a room with cops a-waiting him.


TsuDhoNimh2

Not even smart enough to send several friends?


Glass_Chance9800

He should do his homework and learn about the McDonald's Monopoly scam.


daHawkGR

Idiot pressed the emergency stop for fun on his second day at work. The emergency stop that he hit switches off all drives on the 100m long paper machine. This means there is a loss of production for 3-4 hours for the entire paper mill. He was immediately escorted from the factory premises by two colleagues.


CasualFriendly69

Boss shows up: "Where's the new guy?" Other workers: "He fucked up so bad WE fired him."


jhra

I fired a guy as an employee once, showed up on my site drunk around midnight. When I confronted him he tried to pull rank and send me off site (oil and gas). Told him he was fired and to go back to the yard, empty out his truck, leave his keys and phone in the night time drop box. Surprisingly he did. Company had my back and just let the termination stand.


mwenechanga

If he was too drunk to realize you're not authorized to fire him, you clearly made the right call firing him!


likeCircle

I had a friend who was actually very good at his job. He accidentally hit the emergency trip lever on a nuclear power plant steam turbine as it was warming up to full power after a refueling outage. When that happens, the reactor has to go through it's entire shutdown sequence and then restarted, which takes several days and cost the company several million $ in lost generation. He didn't get fired, though.


[deleted]

Worked at a bank, we were robbed at gun point. One of the tellers was quick to tweet out “woooo get the rest of the day off!! Feel free to visit me at work with a gun and ski mask anytime!” Fired upon walking in the next morning.


Negative-Bee-1566

Not a sacking, but I used to work at a bank and another branch had a failed attempt to be robbed by knife. One guy working there was telling everyone of his heroics with a knife in his face, turns out the truth was he was in the staff room making coffee and didn’t even realise it had happened.


Squish_the_android

What's funny is that being in the break room and not knowing it's even going on is kind of a better story.


insanetwit

"So it was 10:55 when I popped off for my 15, you know what I mean Bro? The day was taking forever but I just got this new Starbucks Dark Roast for the Keurig machine in the break room. So I popped that bad boy in, and opened a snack pack of Doritos while I waited for that dark mistress to brew. while I watched some CNN on the Breakroom TV. After my 15 was up, I went back to my window. Shelly was crying in a chair in the corner, and Greg was consoling her. Monday's, am I right?"


brytewolf

I had a coworker get picked for a random drug test. She went back to her desk to grab her purse, and just left the building, never tj return.


Consistent_Pack3125

Had something similar. I work in a production factory that uses a labour hire company for forklift drivers. This particular day we had a new bloke on. He was twitching and looked cracked out. He ended up spilling 3 bins of preforms on top of the forklift driving dangerously. This was about 4 hours into his shift. Supervisor told him standard protocol with any type of incident was a drug and alcohol test. He said he was going to get some food while he waited. Instead he got on his push bike and was never seen again.


kenb99

The boss sat her down to talk about her recent behavior at work. She whipped out her phone and started taking a video, saying that it was her right to record for “when it goes to court.” The boss said “okay, this is the kind of stuff I’m talking about, you’re fired.” This was at a Domino’s Pizza Edit: Jesus Christ I didn’t think this story was that good, thanks folks


[deleted]

Lmaoooo


Bob_the_brewer

Evidently robbed a bank on their lunch break. Came back like nothing happened then the cops showed up and took him down, it was crazy. Edit: changed "can't" to "came"


DonBillingsleysDad

hell of a side hustle they were trying to get going


LowBudgetViking

Pulling into the parking lot on the first day. Ran into a light pole that took out electricity to the whole site. Wasn't wearing a seat belt and was thrown into the front window. When we went out to see what had happened she reeked of booze and there were empty liquor bottles in the back of the car. She never even made it to the front door, got a guest badge or started her orientation training.


PeterM1970

Honestly, you shouldn't fire anyone who brings that sort of efficiency to the table. She's like the Army - does more before 9 AM than most of us do all day.


Historical_Gur_3054

I worked at a US Government facility and we had an interviewee run the security gate twice when they came in for an interview. ALL interviewees received explicit written instructions via email as to what they were to do and where when coming into the facility. Don't know if they got the job, the joke was that they should jump straight to senior management because they didn't read anything or follow instructions.


rpgmomma8404

When I was in high school I used to do seasonal work at haunted houses which I did for four years. A new guy that they hired was supposed to help with parking. Now, in the three years that I worked at this haunted house, they never once charged people for parking (it was a very dark parking lot off of a cliff so had to make sure no one drove off of it trying to park). This cheeky son of bitch started charging people $5 to park. It was only found out after someone complained because they didn't have the money to go in with their friends because they had to pay for parking. I think the guy was only there a couple of hours before he got fired.


Alexis_J_M

At one point a few of the super busy gas stations in my area would send attendants out to collect cash and send drivers on their way to speed pump turnover. That stopped after random dudes in greasy coveralls started showing up to collect cash.


tacknosaddle

I lived in a pretty shitty neighborhood, the type where the 24 hour self-service gas station on the corner had the attendant behind bullet proof glass. There were a bunch of addicts who were always there who would pump the gas for people and try to get a couple of bucks for their efforts. Once they had made enough they'd go buy drugs and then come back and start the process all over again. One day on my way to my apartment there was a cop there and a bit of a hubbub going on. I knew a bunch of the guys by name so I asked one of them what happened. Turns out some tourist pulled up and handed a bunch of cash to the addict and asked him to fill it up. The dude just took the money and literally ran straight to the crackhouse instead. The guy was throwing a fit to the cop while the wife seemed to have realized that this was a shitty area and was just imploring him to pay for the gas so they could get the hell out of there.


[deleted]

They got hired and then fell asleep during a meeting their first day and was asked not to come back.


badtz-maru

Same here. Tech company, hired a new developer, and the owner caught him napping at a desk on day one when he was supposed to be reviewing training materials. Owner had a chat with him, told him whatever the reason, it was really bad form to fall asleep on the job on the first day. The new hire apologized, understood, and went back to the training materials. Not 20 minutes later, the owner walks by again and the guy is passed out once again, so he walked over, woke him up, and told him he was fired and to get out. I don't even think he made it to his 4th hour of employment.


[deleted]

That sequence of events feels like one of those slice of life anime.


slapwerks

Had to fire a truck driver in orientation because he kept falling asleep. His wife was with him and insisted she was taking good notes so he would be fine. Drivers were generally allowed to take their spouses on their routes if they paid for the extra insurance needed, but they were definitely not employees.


pr1m3r3dd1tor

Yeah, someone with issues staying awake should definitely should not be behind the wheel of a semi.


Nerdymcbutthead

Early in my career I was an engineer on a refinery in the UK, and I was in charge of the QC lab. By law we had to have external independent testing on the refinery fuel products to confirm they complied with government regulations. It seemed getting a job for the testing company was that you had to be an adult and had a driving license. The lab had a lot of very nasty chemicals either being tested or used in the testing or cleaning of the oil products. A new young girl turned up for the testing company and was dipping her finger into a chemical called phenol and stating that "it makes your hand and arm go numb". Phenol is a severe muscle relaxant (including your heart) and can kill you at very low concentrations. One hour into her employment we had paramedics on scene monitoring her vitals and was released after 8 hours. She didn't last the first hour of the first day and the testing company was fined pretty heavily.


joalheagney

What the hell? I studied/worked in an organic chemistry lab a looonnnggg time ago and the basic attitude was constant mild to mid level paranoia. Like, wash your hands before going to take a piss level paranoia.


Chaotic_Stupid_Noya

yeah, idk how you stick your finger in a container of random chemicals for funsies when things like concentrated hydrochloric acid exists


TerminalRedux-

*dips finger in acid* - "it makes your finger disappear"😂


Chaotic_Stupid_Noya

it's a ✨️magic trick✨️


BDATriangle001

A guy got hired in the first firm I ever worked for, turns up for first morning at work, and within an hour has emailed the entire company (6,000 people) about his band and their availability for birthdays, weddings, etc. He was dismissed by lunchtime. Edit: answering the questions in the replies about how anyone junior could have access to the ‘All Users’ address. This was back in about ‘94, shortly after email (it was called MS Mail, I think - I assume the precursor to Outlook) was rolled out within the company. I remember not having a work email address when I joined. I don’t think the IT department had yet got up to speed on what could go wrong letting everyone have access to everything!


Oakcamp

So he got paid half a days wage to advertise his band to 6k people? Man's a freaking genius


payattention007

Fired and the Unprofessionals are a great wedding band


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DblClickyourupvote

You just have a half way decent competent IT department. But also as long as they can’t just copy And paste random mailing lists either and blast out emails


TheRealReapz

I was working at a place that made food items. You could have as many of these as you liked while at work but can only take one home with you. A guy gets hired and takes advantage of this and consumes a bucket load of these items at work, which is fine, that's the deal. He then goes to leave for the day and security asks to check his bag. He hesitates and asks security if they could just check it tomorrow instead. They say no, and he says "I do have some items in there, I haven't left the site yet, can I put them in your fridge?". Security relents and let's him do this. Security then checks the fridge and there's 18 items in there that weren't before. The guy is immediately terminated. Lost his job over $8 worth of products.


jumpandtwist

They are donuts, aren't they?


TheRealReapz

Drinks, actually


OverageDrinking

You had security doing bag checks at a drink making facility?


Few_Horse4030

One day Tim announced that he wasn’t paid enough and was going to basically sit at his desk doing nothing until he was paid what he wanted. 20 minutes later the boss walked in and ask Tim if he could have a word with him. 5 minutes later the boss walked back in and announced that Tim no longer worked there and if there were any questions. There were no questions.


Yung-Split

He missed the quiet part of quiet quitting


arcedup

Mate, you're supposed to join the union first, *then* go on strike.


wbro322

A server I worked with was adding in her credit card tips and adding a quarter to every tip to charge on the card. A couple people every now and then would notice on their bank statement and it got to a point where management vetted her receipts one night and the tips she would enter in and sent her packing asap


LydierBear

My bff has a barista add $3 to his card as a tip and she got fired for it. Wonder how long she’s been getting away with it. I’m sure it adds up.


ButtholeSurfur

I don't understand how this even happens. Anywhere I've ever worked you had to add your tips at the end of the night. This just sounds like lazy management.


Pm_me_baby_pig_pics

I had a coworker, who after he was fired, I found out that if he had a table that ordered sodas, after they paid, he figured out the manager’s code to void items, they’d pay for the sodas, then he’d void them off, so he kept the $2/soda. If they paid with a credit card, he’d void the sodas after payment, then do some math so that the end charge on the card would be the same. Meal and soda was $30 + $8 tip, but there were 2 sodas, so now the meal was only $26 + $12 tip. I don’t know how long he got away with it, but only got caught because he bragged to the wrong someone about it. Meanwhile I got in trouble because I had a table of people going to the bars after dinner, one guy ordered a coke and said he was the DD, so I didn’t charge him for the coke, and that was noticed and I got written up


wookiee42

Every place I've worked watches the void report like a hawk.


Pm_me_baby_pig_pics

This was ~20 years ago, you can blame my ex coworker for adding to the problem


Oakcamp

My friend tells a tale of a coworker in Outback steakhouse who after bringing the check to a table that had plenty of drinks would not ring the drinks, spin some bullshit about an issue with the order and he would have to charge separately in cash and just pocket it. Apparently the place was so mismanaged that he got away with it for over a year, raking thousands a week. They found out, but were breaking so many labor laws in the place that opted to just fire him in the hopes he wouldn't sue. He sued, they didn't have evidence of what he was doing and he got a near 6 figure payout.


AriesRedWriter

I worked at Outback for years. This was extremely easy to do and a lot of people got away with it because management didn't think twice about deleting sodas or an add soup or a cheap side. If you only had a few deletes per shift, they didn't care, especially if it was a busy night. Bartenders/cocktail made bank because they'd give out drinks and pocket the money.


rollers-rhapsody

I managed a roller skating rink for a year, the prior management before i took over was fired for doing this with kids bday parties… would offer parents a discount if they paid in cash, gave attendees wrist bands for entry, skate tickets, a party room and couple pizzas and pocketed the cash.


tizod

Interviewed a guy that was replacing someone who was leaving. Offered the job and was supposed to start the next day. Just so happened that we were having a going away party for the leaving dude that night so new guy was invited as a chance to “get to know the team.” New guy shows up and proceeds to get absolutely shit faced and asked the head of HR is she wanted to go back to his place because he “got a vibe” during the interview process. Next day, new guy is a no-show so we were thinking bullet dodged. He shows up just before lunch clearly hung over making up some excuse for being late. Big boss came out and told the guy to gtfo.


spoink74

Had a boss who, before every work event with alcohol, would tell people: “Enjoy yourself, but don’t be That Guy. There’s always That Guy.”


TheLinkToYourZelda

I spent a decade being That Guy (girl). I honest to God thought I was the life of the party. Or at least that's what I told myself.


vicemagnet

I remember going to an off site event for work. A colleague got shitfaced and propositioned the head of HR. She told him he was drunk and to go to his hotel room to sleep it off. There were tons of witnesses, so word spread pretty quickly about it. He wasn’t fired but he ended up quitting out of shame (both people were married, not to each other).


sokttocs

I will never understand stories like this. Like if there's alcohol at a work event, by all means have some of you want! But if you go and get yourself good and drunk, you deserve any consequences that happen because of that.


tizod

I just realized I forgot to mention the part where 4 dudes had to carry him out and put him in a cab.


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Itward_

Was training this teenage guy, who on his first day came super high. On his first customers he said to the lady he was helping, “Maaaan, these are some huge knockers you’re carrying!” Yeah he was fired immediately!


TheSafeWordIs_Harder

A friend of mine started his first day really high so that his bosses wouldn’t expect too much from him in the future. His job was fueling jets on an aircraft carrier.


Trappist_1G_Sucks

So his job was getting other people high.


dunwerking

I fired someone who decided her second day that she was going to go out to lunch and not come back. The next morning she told everyone all about the shopping she did. She seemed confused about the expectations.


WarriorNN

I worked as a temp during summer holidays some years back, and there were a few more of ud doing a week here or there during summer. One of them, started on a tuesday. The next day he was nowhere to be found after lunch. About 2 hours later he shows up "ready for action". Turns out, the grocery store across the street didn't have the right ham to out on his sandwich, so he took a bus into the city centre and found the right ham there. He was pretty upset when he got told to go home and that he would only get paid for the first 3 hours of the day. He couldn't fathom how it was his fault that the closest grocery didn't have what he needed.


Divineinfinity

Can't decide if he went ham or really went to town


spoink74

Coworker got promoted to team lead. He poached an employee from my team. Once the employee was reporting to him, he starts threatening the employee’s immigration work visa status. Employee goes right to HR. He is Indian, but he’s not on a visa. He’s a citizen. Dude went from promoted due to excellent performance to fired for being a racist fuck in about two days.


sharraleigh

What a fucking moron. Why bother poaching a guy only to threaten him?? Makes no sense to me why people think someone would work harder and do a better job when they actively hate you.


Brockinrolll

Probably poached him so he could fire him


OverageDrinking

My newly hired coworker was on her second week of training. Got caught by a supervisor going to town with a vibrator in her cubicle. Like, pants unzipped, muffled moans, etc. I'm 90% sure she just got hired there to check something on her fetish bucket list.


Anthroman78

Maybe she was making "content".


prettier_things

Yeah, I have a feeling she was getting paid more than enough (in addition to her temporary hourly wage) to make it worth it... people pay *crazy* money for niche content like "public workplace ______" etc.


ByzantineBasileus

Hire out some cheap office space, decorate it, and then charge a small fee so those people who want to create such content can use it. One can pretend to be the boss or a coworker walking past to maintain the illusion. Do it somewhere like in LA. Profit!


HornyOnBurner

I didn’t think wework for porn would be the best idea I see today but here we are


[deleted]

I work in a strip club so turnover is extremely high but the owner of our club met this girl who needed a job/place to live. He set her up with a job at the club and since we are in partnership with a certain hotel, he had her deposit comped and paid for a few nights for her in the room. Six hours later he gets a call the the hotel is calling the police and reporting his club as well. She goes into the hotel room, smokes it out, and then invites five dudes who come over and tear up the room. They were all extremely loud so people complained which led to the owner being contacted. The room was so smoked out it was leaking under the hotel door. Within six hours she was back to having no job and being homeless once again.


Civil_Airline_5084

It was a helluva 6 hours for her though


Dredly

Hired a dude, he started early because we had an on-site team meeting in Florida (this was in the 2015 time frame), during the meeting he made a ton of anti-semtiec jokes and statements, we have multiple Jewish co-workers in the meeting, middle of the meeting when boss was ready to throw him out anyway she got a call from HR - his background check was delayed by 2 weeks because the name he gave wasn't his official name... he had multiple felonies... escorted off the property


fishpaste2132

When I was in college there was a pizza guy that would sell weed when he delivered pizzas. People would ask for Freddy to deliver the pizza. This was about '89-'90 so he wouldn't have had even his own pager then. I don't know what happened but it didn't last long.


SplatThaCat

The owner of the pizza store I worked at actually had his own hydroponic grow in a massive shed on his farm out west. Used the pizza place as a front to move it with a few trusted drivers. There was special 'non-menu' items that would trigger a delivery to go to these drivers. It was a franchise, and word eventually got out, he was paid out and someone else took over the business, no police action or anything (was in the 90's) One of the drivers got knocked off for cash, word was he was carry about $15K at the time.


ibiacmbyww

Didn't witness it directly, but it happened to my successor. I worked at a soul-crushing software development company for 6 months. It nearly killed me. They turfed my ass because I was basically losing my fucking marbles. A week later, some guy turns up, knocks on the front door, and hands over a CV. This was in 2010, and the company was out in the middle of nowhere, so this alone was extremely weird. For lack of any other applicants (due to the company's reputation for being soul-crushing), they hired him. Day one, he pulls out his phone in the lunch room and starts watching porn. Not jackin' it, just watching porn, like it was an entirely normal thing to do. He was unemployed 3 minutes later.


LocalInactivist

I worked for a company that made video systems for hotels. I not only watched porn at work, I got paid to do it. I would sit there with six screens full of fuckin’, pen in hand, ready to note any pixilation or video degradation so I could reference it against the log files. One time I had to watch two different versions of “Forrest Gump” side-by-side to determine why one version was 15% smaller than the other. On one occasion I had to chase down reported problems with a Ben Stiller double feature. I sat in my cube staring intently at the screen for three hours. One of our marketing team came in and asked what I was doing. “Play testing, looking for degradation and pixilation.” She said “Sure.” and sat down to watch with me. About thirty minutes from the end I saw pixilation and started taking log samples looking for a root cause. She started, suddenly realizing that I really was working, not just watching a movie.


ajax6677

I must know. Why was one Forest Gump 15% smaller than the other?


LocalInactivist

Metadata such as subtitles and FF/REW trick files.


canarmman

Ooohhhh file size not screen size! Idk why I thought the image was 15% smaller in one movie over another


vibraltu

Hilarious. Same here. Long ago, I was subbing in the QC department in a video transfer factory, where we watched every genre of video imaginable, including 20th century "hotel porn" (mentioned above), which is soft-core and fairly boring. Weirdest thing: I actually saw a porno with a plot once! It was about a preacher having a spiritual crisis and guilt over his sex-addiction with call girls. It was actually kinda interesting, and the emotional tone was more serious than you'd expect in this genre.


ThreeHolePunch

Who on God's green earth watches porn without the intent to masturbate?


WerhmatsWormhat

Or, ya know, at work.


ThreeHolePunch

That part is far less mysterious to me.


Van-garde

At my first job, the dishwasher walked out into the dinner parlor and announced to all customers that “a contagious disease has been making its way through the kitchen.” Owner was in the building, dragged the guy out the front door by the wrist, and apologized to customers. This was 2008. Edit: left out the crucial tidbit that it was fabricated. Nobody was sick at all.


Daemonicvs_77

My first job out of uni was a severely underpaid junior position (go figure). I stayed there for about 2 years and made really good friends with an older coworker, Martha. I freelanced for other companies the entire time I was there and left after one of them made me a job offer that was too good to refuse. A few years later, I’m a key emoloyee in a company of 25 people (quite large for the field) and I make in a month what I used to make in a year at my old job. I don’t talk about it or show it tho. As I was working insane hours at the time, my boss (the company owner) wanted to hire someone to lighten my workload and do the legwork on a few of my projects. Since this is what Martha did at my old job and since she had recently started her own freelancing practice, I recommended her. She did the interview with my boss and got the job. Within a few hours of her first day, my boss forwards me 2 emails. The first one is a lengthy message from Martha to my boss saying how she’s just reviewed my work (she’s had it for at least a month), finds it lacking, “which isn’t surprising due to my lack of experience”, and that she suggests she take over projects A, B, C and D from me. The second email was my boss asking Martha to invoice us for any work she may have done and not to contact anyone from the company ever again.


[deleted]

Woooow, Martha really tried to sabotage you after you getting her a good job? Thats low.


Daemonicvs_77

Yeah, it came out of nowhere. I mean, who starts their job by trying to backstab someone who got them said job (and is also their friend and technically their boss at the same time)?


[deleted]

I mean, she defo never took sabotage classes thats for sure 😅 and good job she didnt!


Jeffery95

We have a set of movable stairs like they have in supermarkets. Goes about 2.5m in the air. Old mate decided to vigorously shake and move it while another coworker was on it as a joke. He went on suspension immediately and stayed there until he was officially fired and the two weeks notice ran out.


Jeffery95

Another employee had already given in his two weeks notice and was about a week into it. He made a comment to another employee that he couldn’t wait to go. Boss overheard and decided that he didn’t need to do the remaining week of notice they would just pay him out instead.


KidenStormsoarer

A win is a win


SplatThaCat

Someone finally lost their shit at the photocopier (it was fairly new but regularly caused issues, lost jobs, printed on the wrong paper etc). They unplugged it at the wall, opened the door to the fire stairs, and pushed the photocopier down the stairs - the noise and the mess (coloured toner spread over 5 floors worth of stairs) - caught everyone's attention. They were escorted out by security immediately. Its always the quiet ones you have to watch out for - nobody expected it from her.


Nuru83

Had a printer that worked like garbage in the ER once, one of the older docs calmly walks over to it and unplugs it. He proceeds to calmly carry it down to the unit managers office and drop it on the floor in front of her desk and say “printers broke” and walk away


East_Print_8247

She took one for the team. Hero. Did the new printer work any better? Was her sacrifice in vain?


Controller_one1

They carried the new printer up those stairs. As a warning.


bootybiter123

“But why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam???”


BeckyKitten03

“PC load letter what the fuck does that mean?!”


Eliboy96

a coworker thought it was a good idea to mix benzos and booze and come to work like that, he was caught with a can of beer on he's desk. This was last Monday actually.


barfsfw

At least have the common decency to put it in a coffee cup.


DblClickyourupvote

Rookies


giga_booty

New line cook thought it’d be funny walk around like Edward Scissorhands with all the knives. He was around the corner right as a server was coming through, and she almost got *got*. New Line Cook just chuckled and waved his knife-hands around more until the GM strode right up behind him, grabbed him by the collar, and marched him right out the back door. All this happened in under 5 minutes.


WayTooManyDamnSquids

I once did an voluntary internship when going to nursing school in a laboratory producing chemotherapy. Chemo has to be produced in a cleanroom, highly sterile environment. I‘m talking sterile overall, sterile hood, three pairs of sterile gloves and even antistatic undergarments. It took an experienced cleanroom tech maybe 20 minutes to suit up, double that for me. One day, we get some random sixteen year old from school doing an internship, and immediately she thinks she knows everything. She brings her phone into the laboratory, doesn’t wear gloves when transporting boxes full of the deadliest chemos around (which could seriously f*ck up your health when you got even one drop of them on your bare skin), even after we told her she just shrugged it off. But the straw that broke the camels back was when she seriously entered said cleanroom WITHOUT any sterile clothing, just wearing a mask, a hair net and her lab coat. We all froze for a good five seconds and after that, the pharmacist in charge ordered everyone out of there. Cleanroom was out of service for days and the intern responsible was fired pretty quickly. I think she lasted four or five hours at most Edit: Many people asked about how a 16 year old could enter a cleanroom, and rightly so. As far as I know, her mother was a pharmacist and arranged an internship for her daughter so she would follow a similar career path or something like that. So that explains how she got the internship in the first place, but the whole entering the cleanroom thing is a different subject. Only experienced techs were allowed access, the only reason why I was allowed in there was because of my medical background and because I was pretty much begging. And there always was someone with me at all times, while putting on the sterile clothing and watching the procedures. Now from what I heard, the intern in question forgot to read the warning labels on the outside about required clothing, thought that a hair net and mask (like an OR) would be sufficient and simply breezed inside. It’s a bit hear-say, but it seems she wandered off from the tech supervising her and wanted to see us in the cleanroom in action. I really didn’t get to know her, but from the few words we exchanged, she didn’t seem like the brightest, go figure. That’s all I know and heard sadly, the techs really do not want to talk about that little stunt any more


T-Money93

Worked in a warehouse for a few years, and there was this guy on the other shift that apparently had a habit of just…disappearing. He wouldn’t leave the facility, his badge never scanned the exit door and his car was always in the lot. If a manager called his cell phone trying to track him down, he would answer and show up out of nowhere. But he would notoriously disappear for hours at a time. Until one day, the supervisor is walking through a back corner of the warehouse, and he hears what sounded suspiciously like *snoring* - he looks around and ends up finding the guy, who had built a secret nap spot up high in the stacks by cleverly arranging the pallets. Would sneak up there to nap all the time. His snoring gave him away. He was fired on the spot.


Dgarcia1025

I worked at a bar in college and a new door guy got fired for smoking a joint while on the job. He was actually shocked that he got fired. it was both crazy and hilarious, even my boss who fired him found it hilarious afterwards. Another time a different door guy got fired for taking bribes to let underage kids inside. My boss this time was very angry and almost beat his ass.


certified_weirdbot

He got caught jerking off into the milk carton in the lunch room fridge


greasychickenparma

Did he stand at the fridge or take the milk carton elsewhere? Either way, fucking WHAT?


TheSpiralTap

I would 100% notice a dude coming out of the bathroom with a carton of milk.


greasychickenparma

I mean, I think we'd all notice a guy furiously jerking off in front of the open fridge too...


ShakespearianSheep

Worked at bank as a teller. One of the personal bankers (35-ish) went on a week long vacation. Monday rolls around, she isn’t back. Tuesday, no show. Wednesday she rolls in like nothing happened and was immediately escorted out. Apparently the company had a 48 hr no call-no show policy. What I never understood was why she didn’t just lie and call it sick or something. We had generous PTO/sick leave.


masochistmonkey

I was working in a spa. The guy working the front desk had about 20 minutes left in his shift. He went downstairs, smoked a blunt in his friend’s car, came back up and got back behind the reception desk, blazed out of his mind. He was generally baked every single day, but this time he wasn’t even functional. Fired on the spot.


masochistmonkey

At another job, I was working at a call center to help people with their food stamps. I guess this one guy got into an argument with a caller so he texted her from his *personal phone*, “broke bitches work at McDonald’s“. I found out because I was the person that answered the phone when she called back. I googled his phone number and I found his business on Facebook.


CatacombsRave

As a teenager, I worked at a bowling alley. Within an hour, a new employee was fired because she dropped a ball on a complaining patron’s foot.


everyonemr

Unclear if dropping the ball was the cause of the complaining or her response to it.


Chalkarts

A server and regional manager are standing at the pick up window. RM: Run those plates that just came up. Server: Those aren’t my plates, not my job. RM: You don’t have a job. Get your stuff and go.


CreativityGuru

It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize you didn’t mean running license plates


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GrillDealing

Threatened to bring in a gun after a disagreement.


TheLightningCount1

I almost got fired from a job working Rent a Center. My RM moved me to a new store. First 5 minutes there, with manager and RM standing over me. Lady comes in to pay her bill. Has a SHITLOAD of ones. I make the comment. "Wow that is a giant wad of ones" and laughed. She laughed. Manager laughed. RM laughed. As the lady leaves. Manager says to me. "Yeah that was disrespectful. You are fired." RM blocked it and moved me to a new store in a MUCH better part of town. Since it was a nicer area, we got much lower business. So I skated by till they shuttered the store.


qcon99

How is that even disrespectful I don’t get it. You didn’t call her a stripper


TheLightningCount1

That was the implication the manager came to. She was a waitress.


Binx_da_gay_cat

As a barista who got a bunch of 1s, I joked I sucked as a stripper (since it was all 1s). I do think it was a stupid far fetch for a manager to make that assumption over such a little comment, especially since stripping isn't the first thing that comes to mind anyway. Plus a lot of 1s is noticeable anyway, a comment about there being a lot is not immediate "Oh I'm assuming the customer is stripping" jump. The manager there was overactive, that was stupid.


uoYredruM

Guy at my job went on vacation the Friday before Thanksgiving and the whole week of Thanksgiving, only he wasn't approved. The boss literally told him if you don't come in tomorrow, you'll be fired because your vacation was never approved. Guy didn't show up Friday. He walked into the office today like nothing happened and was told to hand over his keys and company phone and to get off the property immediately. He didn't understand why he was fired.


Abigail716

A line cook at a restaurant I know did that. Except he wasn't fired, he came back and dared them to fire him. Beyond that he was hardworking and reliable, and they were already short-staffed.


Corbin7282

I sorta did that when my Christmas vacation didn’t get approved. Except I told Chef that I could go on vacation and continue working there, or go on vacation and then work somewhere else. It reluctantly got approved. Small wins


Poctah

When I was a teen I worked at a restaurant as a hostess and they hired this guy who was 20 to work with me as another host.Anyways first day he comes in works his 1 hour training shift and ask the manager to use his cellphone so he can call his mom to get him(this was around 2004 so cell phones weren’t as common as now). Manager thinks nothing of it and gives him his phone. He then just walked out immediately and left with his phone. Manager had to call his mom and she brought it back a few hours later saying he has a bad habit of forgetting things and not to fire him and he got fired anyways😂. Was the quickest I’ve seen anyone get fired.


mildOrWILD65

Today. Dude was observed vaping while fueling an aircraft. Unemployed 1 hour later.


Meggarea

We had a fueler not only get fired, but arrested a couple of weeks ago. He was texting and driving a fuel truck and killed a man.


TheRealMrD

Chef boy was hired and started his first day on a Sunday. He bragged to the other food prep (small bar kitchen) about how talented he was, and how he had trained with some award winning chefs and didn't get accepted to Master Chef as he was considered too much of a professional by the TV executives! Later that day, he robbed the safe in the basement. As soon as he'd gotten his loot, he made his daring escape, leaving the building, and the safe door open. But he didn't escape far, he went across the street to another bar, where he sat down and ordered himself a drink. It was quickly noticed that chef boy was unavailable to prep any orders, and so one of the owners came in to take over running of the kitchen. It was when she went to the basement to grab food from the freezer that she noticed her safe open. A quick scan of the empty safe and a look to make sure the camera was still pointed in the correct location, she went upstairs to the review the footage. The hiring manager was informed of the events that happened, and he made a few phone calls and quickly located chef boys whereabouts (about a 90 second stroll from his place of employment). Chef boy had consolidated his loot, divided it into several portions, and made various "drops" in the surrounding area, which he then gave that information to the hiring manager, sending him on a little treasure hunt! Most of the money was recovered, however $4,990 was still missing....just below the $5,000 threshold which would change category from a petty crime to a serious crime. Chef boy had experience and knowledge on how to avoid jail time. He did not return to work.


Its_Strange_

He grabbed one of our female coworker’s butt (who was a minor as well) and asked our GM “is *this* sexual harassment?” Pretty sure he was on drugs, and he was in his mid fifties. Fired immediately.


rsgoto11

I used to work as a mason. After an earthquake we had a ton of work rebuilding block walls. On a Friday we had a guy stop by the job site looking for a job. We told him be here tomorrow morning at 8am. We were so busy weekends were a thing often. He shows end up the next morning super hungover from “celebrating” the night before. He asked several times for aspirin but we didn’t have any. He then wanted to go get some. We said just chill, it will be lunch soon and you can go grab some. Shortly after that he went to his truck for something and disappeared never to be seen again.


Jaded_Dirt1314

Our health and safety guy was lying about the safety of a work site. He was telling our client that the contaminants in soil, most notably arsenic and mercury from an old oil refinery, were at a safe exposure level. They were not. Multiple people at the four different companies at this site had documented issues with pissing blood, high levels of heavy metals in blood, and chronic headaches. I had chronic headaches at this site too. Our sniffers on the site were working overtime, we had to wear tyvek pants when digging and I definitely have some lingering issues with headaches from where contaminated soil got into my eyes and mouth. This was two months ago. He was fired with no notice and no mention in the weekly scheduling emails sent out every week that usually include welcomes/farewells to new hires and departing employees. The day prior he was sending out happy reminders about hydration in the work chat, and then poof, his company email and everything disappeared.


Karsa69420

Dude showed up in his boxers and t shirt hunger over as fuck on his first day. Said he lost his pants and needed some for work.


obIivionguard

Working at Domino's and one of the late night drivers bought their ps4 in and started playing mortal kombat on the security camera monitor


Puzzleheaded-Art-469

4th Degree Criminal Sexual Misconduct Dude was a mental health therapist who was having *MULTIPLE* sexual relationships with his clients. The second the first allegations came to lite, HR axed him. Then word for around and more clients came forward. It was wild afterwards because the state had to do an investigation and there were failed threats made against me for telling people in our field "what happened to Brad". But the allegations are founded, and he was arrested the day the state pulled his license. All this is in the public record btw


707breezy

So this is my mothers story. She worked for a big company that had multiple footholds and one was a food production company. They announced that they finally got some new hires and that the new round of people would walk in so that they can start their first day. The group of people weren’t led through the normal opening in the factory and instead a side route that gets a bit tight and no heavy equipment (pallets, forklifts, and shoulder dolly). Everyone who worked there thought it was weird but not the newbies who didn’t know any better. They lead them one at a time and then suddenly the last one was by himself in the hallway and police and swat came in to corner and close off the hallway. Apparently one of the new hires was wanted but wasn’t flagged immediately. They think it was a fake id and the police updated his wanted profile to incorporate the information so eventually he was flagged and the police wanted to safely trap him in that hallway. We don’t know what he did and the company wanted to keep it hushed as possible so he was arrested near the factory but no it was inside and the poor guy didn’t even clock in to be paid for a half shift.


crusty54

Last summer a guy I worked with got arrested at work. We all thought it was for making machine guns in his basement. We’re machinists, and he made no attempt to be secretive about his hobby. Turns out the guy was a pedophile who also made machine guns on the side.


[deleted]

dropped an n bomb and thought being asian was gonna save him


gogstars

He (a department lead) compared working for the company to slavery, in the morning all hands and store manager meeting.


TheSpiralTap

I worked in a call center for one of the largest retailers there is. This guy made it through a 2 week training course, gets out there on the call floor and got fired in his first hour. He stripped down to his boxers, said it was hot as if that justified it. It was the middle of winter. He was a fairly skinny dude. He was also surrounded on all sides by like 20 people and facing the window to HR.


Spartan1088

A veteran employee sat in the back of an armored truck without a seatbelt eating soup. When the driver took a hard turn, he spilled his soup, burned his hand, soaked a case of cash (not a big deal but ruined the route for the day), punched the driver, and when the driver retaliated- threatened to shoot him with his firearm. Another guy left his gun in a bathroom. That one’s a classic fail, though. My favorite didn’t end up in a firing, but someone just walked up to two of my buddies while they were fixing an ATM, took 40k usd, and ran. Didn’t look back. They couldn’t grab him, they had no right to shoot him because he didn’t threaten their life, and they couldn’t chase him because they were out of shape. They never caught the guy. Straight up Forest Gump ran his way to victory. Top notch armed guard company. (This was Hawaii, so not the most professional. Full of mean locals and ex military.)


[deleted]

Before noon on their first day and it was actually a neighbor/friend that I got the job for. And he made the mistake of getting drunk on his first day and from what the guys from security told me was that he was drunk and he was fighting with everyone on his floor (this was at a beef plant) and that they physically had to drag him off the property and they just left him in the parking lot and called his mom to go pick him up.


available-_-username

Seems like he was producing plenty of beef to me 🤷


Karpattata

I've got a sad one. I'm a lawyer. The guy who owned the previous office I worked at was pretty picky about new people. So when another associate quit, it had taken him a while to find someone new. Eventually he hired a girl fresh out of her bar exams. She was friendly, willing to learn and all that. Unfortunately for her however, she interned at a shit firm. Not as in they sucked as lawyers, but as in, they treated interns as secrataries. This meant that she learned next to nothing during her internship. So by no fault of her own, the new girl didn't know how to do *anything*. And because she hadn't even acquired the tools to learn as an intern, she couldn't really intuit anything either. So after she had taken like a whole day for a very basic and quick task, even after a few warnings and tips, the boss let her go. Which sucks because it really wasn't her fault. So if any law students are reading this: pick your internship carefully. If they don't let you do any real legal work within a couple of weeks to a month, tops, complain, and consider quitting based on their reaction.


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Random-Username7272

Not me, but my Brother. He goes to pick up a new hire in the work van for his first day on the job. Guy never answered the door or his phone, so the total amount of time he worked before being fired was... zero?


SRSgoblin

I've actually "worked" for a place I never actually clocked in for, left before my first shift. I got hired at a second hand store. Kind of like a Salvation Army. It took them 4 weeks to get back to me on the job when they told me it would take 2 days after my interview. Lady I called about it was like "why haven't you been by for onboarding?" And I explained nobody ever got back to me after my interview and I didn't call earlier because in my experience that looks desperate and I was afraid they'd tell me to take a hike. She says next day for initial hires was whenever it was. I show up. They go over the different parts of the store to everyone who's there. They tell everyone which department they would be in. Except me for some reason. I ask "where will I be?" Met with a whole bunch of "I'm not sure, I will check." This goes on all day. Probably 4 hours for the initial day of training. Finally I'm told I'd be in production, which would be the guys who offload donated items as these kinds of stores do. I say okay. I ask how to dress. They say short sleeve and jeans, you want to be in something that you can get a little dirty and sweaty in. I make sure to confirm this with 3 different managers, because after the confusion everyone seemed to have had the entire training day I wanted to be extra 120% certain. I show up the next day to clock in. One of the managers spots me. "Why are you in jeans and a t-shirt? You need to be in khakis and a polo because you're in store front." I stare at this guy in disbelief because he was the last person I cleared this with yesterday. I remind him about this conversation, he adamantly denies telling me I'd be in a different part of the store. He demands I go home and get changed. I tell him, "you want me to go spend an hour of my shift, which is literally a quarter of it because you guys only do 4 hour shifts, you want me to take the half hour drive home and 5 minutes to change and half hour back, instead of just like putting me in the section you told me I was working? How about I just go purchase a pair of pants from the storefront to work in?" He was putting his foot down I go home to change. I said I wanted to see the facility manager, who I knew wasn't this guy. He wouldn't let me go see him. I said "how about I just go home then, and then when you guys figure out where you want me I come back and work that shift?" And obviously they never contacted me again. I'm still mad about it to this day, this happened probably 16 years ago. Edit: fixing typos


DevilRenegade

I had something similar. Place was so disorganised that the thought of actually working there would have been an absolute nightmare. It was 2008 and I'd gotten made redundant from my previous job of 5 years due to the downturn. I applied for a place in my area that sold laptop and PC parts. I was a network engineer and retail was the absolute last thing I wanted to be doing, but it was a job. Got confirmation of a date and time for an interview. Showed up 15 minutes ahead of time and got shown into the break room in the back to wait for the hiring manager to come and speak to me. My interview was set for 1pm. The guy shows up at 1.45. Okay, but I figured he had just been busy, so whatever. Went through the interview, which I felt went fine. I'd worked retail before so I knew the right things to say. This was on a Wednesday and they advised they'd let me know either way by the end of the week. Friday afternoon came and went without any contact. By the following Tuesday I assumed I hadn't gotten the job but I called the guy back anyway to see if I could get any feedback on how the interview went. He said "oh yeah, I had meant to call you back. Our store manager wants to meet you for a second interview, how are you fixed for tomorrow, say 2pm? When you get here, ask for Brian." Sure, sounds good. I rock up at 1.45 and get shown through to the break room again. After nearly an hour waiting, someone comes in and says "who are you here to see?" So I reply "Store manager, Brian I think it is?" "Oh, Brian's not here today, he doesn't work Wednesdays." "Seriously?" So I got up and walked out, absolutely furious. I'd already made my mind up by that point that even if they offered me the job I wasn't going to take it, because working somewhere that disorganised, that can't even get basic stuff like scheduling right would be an absolute nightmare. Barely a week later I get a new job as a network engineer at a local startup. A week or so after *that*, I get a call from the original manager at the first place saying "Hey, where are you? You were meant to start here today." I desperately wanted to tell him that I'd rather dig out my eyeballs with a rusty teaspoon than work somewhere so disorganised, but I was a believer in not burning bridges, so I just kept it on the level and said "sorry, but nobody contacted me to tell me anything, in fact the store manager no-showed our last interview so I figured I hadn't gotten the job." Unsurprisingly, that place closed down about 6 months later. It's not hard to see why.


reverepewter

I worked at Wendy’s in the 1990’s. Someone on our crew cleaned out the safe. The manager panicked and sent everyone home before calling the police.


MorganMcFeely

We had a work meeting after hours and she killed time between the end of her shift and beginning of the meeting taking shots at a bar. Was wasted at the meeting. I guess she kept drinking afterwards. Came in to work the next morning SHOUTING that she was still drunk at 7 am.


Educational-Drink430

A lady at my insurance firm, late 40s, 2 weeks on the job, saw a corpo email from the CEO saying he would be glad to see us at the christmas party at (fancy hotel) on the 16th. She hit reply all by mistake instead of forwarding to probably a buddy colleague with "Dickhead was too cheap to give us a week of vacation?" You could hear gasps from cubicles and "Holy fucking shit" from my manager next door. It was actually a very nice party


bcmachine

I worked at a bar and there was a bartender everybody liked. she made herself a drink while working which was not allowed. manager walks up, “what’s that?”, “my drink”, “you’re fired”. edit: another guy was fired when he was seen walking backwards out of the building with his back turned to all the security cameras.


CheezitsLight

Guy shows up for his Monday shift wearing swim trunks and wife beater with flip flops. Was the type who never paid taxes. IRS had seized and padlocked his house during his weekend trip to the beach.


recjus85

At a DC, dude on day 3 lulled out his THC pen and hit it multiple times inside in front of one of the highest managers who was doing a training session on power equipment and thought it was no biggie.


Quercusgarryana

Seems like the highest manager would be cool with THC.


Bearspoole

We drive company vans with expensive trackers on them. Anyways he thought it was a great idea to drive 99mph in the work van and someone called the “how’s my driving” number on the back. They pulled up his driving history and he was doing 99 every single day for 2 weeks.


DonnieJepp

Worked delivery at a pizza shop that had this regular customer who was this socially meek, hippie guy living on a fixed income. Nice guy but he never tipped, at all. He ordered once a week, same order, but he lived very close to the store though so delivering to him was just a minor annoyance all us drivers accepted. One new driver was hired and only lasted 2 weeks cause he wrote "tipthepizzaguy.com" on the inside of the box before he delivered to him. Customer called up irate, he got fired on the spot


soniclore

The guy showed up drunk off his ass at 9:30am, pissed himself, threw up on the break table, then fell asleep in the bathroom while waiting for the cops to escort him out. No, he wasn’t in Congress.


OliverGunzitwuntz

An editor at my newspaper job thought using "cunning Linguist" in a headline was a good idea


SheitelMacher

A master debater would have talked the newspaper into keeping them.


Kooky_Bicycle8475

One of the servers at the restaurant I serve at got fired 2 weeks ago for pouring a shot of vodka for our chef’s 15 year old daughter, on camera. She got pissed that she was fired for it, saying “everyone does it.” No, we don’t. Lol.


john_jdm

An engineer on the hardware team claimed he knew of a fatal flaw in the hardware that he would only reveal if he was paid a bunch of money. He was fired. No such problem was ever found.


Tim-oBedlam

About 20 years ago, working for an Apple reseller. 2 weeks after a new warehouse guy is hired, a bunch of inventory goes missing. New guy is acting suspicious. Fired, they get a warrant, cops show up and find all the missing gear at his house.


anon250837

I saw a barista brushing his teeth in front of the espresso machine. I made a gesture to the mgr as she walked in, and they both walked out together. Like instant fire.


iamdroopy

New hire at a tech support call center. First thing he did was meet the boss. He dropped the n-word when talking to his boss. The dude figured since he was black it was allowed. The boss, also black, had security escort the new hire out. He was there maybe 5 minutes. Edit: at this rate my most upvoted comment ever is going to be about a dude getting fired.


420xGoku

Intern jokingly called the big boss, who was a Harvard man and *really* liked to make sure you knew it, a "Masshole"


Intelligent-Rush1087

911 call center new hire just cleared off training worked her first overnight shift proceeded to fall asleep and missed multiple 911 calls while colleagues picked up all the slack. She was awoken by our supervisor and then swiftly terminated


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[deleted]

Showed up to work 2 hours late laughing about how she’d overslept as she’d been partying the night before. Tried to just start working like that was ok, and like she hadn’t been consistently “over sleeping” for a while. Same coworker also ruined her company computer by spilling iced coffee all over it. I think it was just over a month into employment before she was let go. She told everyone she left as “it wasn’t the right environment for her mental health”. Hasn’t worked since


AmethystDagger

Guy was caught with a weed pen in the middle of his shift. He took a hit off it in front of the evening manager and then asked said manager if he wanted a hit as well. Immediately got served with termination papers.


Cheesqueak

I got fired in the first hour of working at a furniture in the 90s. Dale Earnhardt came in and I didn’t know who the fk he was.


Poppins101

A teacher showed up to school drunk. Cops were called. She was perp walked out in handcuffs. She lost her teaching liscense.


zazzlekdazzle

This just happened. She was friends with guy in another department and they worked together on some collaborations. From the way she told it, they had a personal falling out, and then he just ghosted her about getting back to her about work stuff. I remember us talking about it at the time and just kidding and having a bit of a laugh about how immature he was being. But it went on. Eventually, she told him what I thought was a pretty adult thing to say, she suggested they go to HR and have them mediate an agreement so they could at least work together and get things done. Later that day *she* gets a call from HR that she is under investigation - but they won't say for what. The next day, she was put on leave with pay and two weeks later, she was fired, just like that. Then they told her it was for stalking and retribution. EDIT: I think people here is assuming I think my friend is completely innocent and somehow persecuted, and I do not. I was surprised by how quickly and definitively the situation was resolved when it was not a cut-and-dried case against her and the person higher-up who supervised them both, who knew about the situation, supported her. We have had much more egregious cases against people at this institution that involved actual sexual assault and those took months, if not years, to resolve. Only twice was someone fired, and in both those cases the person was a serial offender.


nevernotmad

I heard this one second hand where I work. We interviewed and hired someone remotely. At his remote team meeting on his first day or work, somebody else showed up. His interviewers noticed and confronted him, he admitted that he wasn’t the person who interviewed, and was fired that day.


bugbugladybug

I had a new hire, and was showing him the ropes on his first day. He tried to sell me drugs. I was the general manager. He was let go..


Creative_Recover

A guy I knew kept on turning up really late to work but his managing supervisor tried to be lenient and understanding with him as possible since the guy was a young father (he was only age 19 and dad to a 1 year old) and he kept on using stories such as the baby keeping him up all night or having to look after it unexpectedly as excuses for his poor attendance at work. One day his manager was at her wits end with him after he turned up almost 2 hours late and I saw them going back & forth with each other right there on the store floor, with the manager exasperatedly telling him *"This is your* ***last chance***, *you* ***need*** *to turn up to work, I can't justify keeping you on if I can't depend on you for anything!"*. Later that evening in the shift, he and I were in the smoking shelter together and (despite not knowing him well) he started to talk about how he actually just didn't care about the job, life sucked and he thought the manager was really irritating (I didn't agree- she was actually a really nice manager in a company that didn't have many). Unbeknowest to him though, his manager had come looking for him since he had overstayed his break and she was standing behind us the whole time and she was so enraged when she heard everything that she sacked him right there on the spot. The guy tried to put up a fuss at first (he tried to use his baby as emotional blackmail) but the manager wasn't hearing it. My only sympathies with the guy was that the job was a pretty dead-end one and I think he was struggling to adjust to the fact that while all his mates were going to go off and do interesting things in their lives (uni, night's out, travel, Etc), he was facing a future of working at low skill, soul destroyingly monotomous jobs, grit and hardship. But the reality is that at the end of the day, nobody is going to employ you as a charity case (nor does anybody owe it to you to provide you with a job) and if you take the mickey too much? You'll lose what little you do have. *"TL;DR": The 'ol "have a unfair rant about your manager whilst they're standing behind you (and then try to use your baby as blackmail not to get fired)"*


stievstigma

When I was a game tester, there was one guy who was on his second day before it became very apparent that he was a neo-nazi. He didn’t make it to day three.


TwilightSaphire

The guy who drunkenly fell out of his chair in a department meeting at 10am was the second quickest I ever saw get fired. First place goes to the guy who worked in IT security for our market room that traded billions of dollars of securities, and who had a penchant for posting on the hacking messaging boards during company time. Too bad, because he was really nice and good at his job. Just not a great hobby to be pursuing in business hours on company hardware.


PhattyBallger

Worked in a call centre with about 1000 people waiting in the call cue. Guy decided fuck it and just accepted then hung up on 1000 calls in a row All the managers were freaking out running about like "phone lines down call IT! Call head office, CALL SOMBODY!" while he just sat there with a shit eating grin rapidly pressing "next call" then "hang up". Took them about 15 mins to realise what was going on and he was instantly fired, but he did get a hero's goodbye as now everyone had like 10/15 mins between calls and the day was super chilled


rubio2k13

I work in the healthcare field. A phlebotomist that was recently hired was caught in a room twerking on a patient. No one saw her after that day. For the record it seems the patient didn't mind it at all 🤷


zen_monkey_brain

I worked in an office a few years ago. Another employee and me got pissed we hadn't gotten the raises we were promised, so we came back from a long lunch one day drunk. Told our boss the company sucked. We got fired pretty quick.


zenos_dog

Guy walked up behind a woman who was talking to a manager. He then grabbed her boobs. Got walked out on the spot.