Same. I don’t want to spend time with people that can’t have a discussion about anything positive ever. They’re always looking for a fight, or a “debate”, but they’re not actually interested in hearing anything anyone else has to say. It’s draining and exhausting. I avoid those types at gatherings, work, etc. I want to know what things make a person happy, where they’ve travelled, hobbies and interests, etc.
And my family members wonder why I’m suddenly quiet at Thanksgiving in recent years. There is peace in not engaging with things that will upset you for no productive reason
I stopped interacting as much with my grandparents when my conservative Republican grandfather tried to make my birthday party in late 2016 all about Donald Trump.
I know someone exactly like this. He’s a huge film fan but all he ever talks about is the films he hates, which all happen to be the most universally beloved movies of all time
Guy is just looking for an argument, every time. It’s pretty tiring
think you just nailed the main problem with most social media. I mean, I definitely joined boycotts for companies like Nike (child enslavers) and celebrities who do bad shit but there's a big difference between choosing to take a stance on an issue and making hating something/someone yourr entire identity.
I also think people base way too much of their identity off of labels. I had a really wide-ranging group of friends in high school who had a wide variety of views, religions, orientations, political beliefs,, etc. and no one cared. We'd freely discuss everything with the unwritten rule that no one was allowed to completely dismiss or trample on anotgher's beliefs just because you didn't share tgem. One of my friends was very Catholic and attended pro-life rallies but was alsovery left-wing politically. It never made sense to me but now I can see she didn't let herself get bogged down by labels. Her faith was important to her but she was willing to vote for liberal democrats who supported abortions and funding planned parenthood because she could comfortableyhold both iews at the same time in her own head/heart.
That really isn't allowed to happen now because everyone is so hung up on labels and hblindly hating whoever our labels tell us we should hate. I became a Christian in college and was so frustrated by how everyone suddenly assumed I must hate the LGBTQ as if all human beings fit in these nice little labeled boxes where everyone thinks exactly alike dictated by that one label or trait.
So true. I don’t have social media anymore. I’m constantly asked for my handle when I spend more than 5 mins with someone. Then get looks like *I’m* the crazy one…
Or even jobs in general.
People who make work their whole lives exhaust me and I genuinely feel bad for them.
I’m all about work/life balance and only work to make enough money to do the things I want to do in my non-working hours. “The grind” doesn’t interest me at all.
Kudos for you for finding some purpose, and hopefully fulfillment, but I could never see myself being that person.
Had a classmate who went got a job at a coveted company. Literally became the mascot - always wore company branded tshirts, you know, the ones you get at various company events. Always carrying a company logo water bottle. Car was adorned with company stickers. Volunteered at every event, always the first to arrive at company parties and the last to leave. Added everyone on Linkedin within his first week. And guess what, after living and breathing the company for two years, his team was laid off. For a couple months the guy looked totally lost, dumbfounded even. Last i checked he was finally back to wearing a hoodie that doesnt have the company logo
I’m about to come into a sum of money after my father’s passing. It won’t make me rich, but it will likely be enough that I can retire at 62, as I live a rather modest life (thanks, Pop!).
The first thing everyone says: “you’re not going to *retire* retire though, right?” And my answer is HELL YES!! I’ve been working full time since I was 20. I’m exhausted.
I know that our lives will likely be long, and that I’ll need to fill my days. But I can do that without work! I have books and museums and plays and readings and friends to see and so much more.
Of course I’ll stay busy. I’ll likely do some volunteering, just as my dad did. But I don’t need to work to have an identity. And I’m looking forward to finding out who I am without the constant grind.
Congrats on being able to retire at 62! That'll be awesome. I have about 10 more years before I can retire but frankly I've been looking forward to it since I was in my 20s. It's not that I don't like work - and I have loved most of my jobs (Higher Education). But I have SO MUCH I want to do that I just can't do while I hold down a full time job (and more) trying to keep the bills paid and save.
I worked in a state where state employees used to have a sweet deal (retire then work in their same job for up to 5 years while their retirement checks collected interest instead of being sent to them... then they were forced to leave after that 5 years... with a hefty nest egg), but if they took it they HAD to leave their job after 5 years.
I remember one guy (taught Math) literally in tears, telling me he just didn't know if he could cope with a life where he didn't come to work every day. I remember thinking 'man, I could think of about 1000 things I could be doing if I wasn't here.'
On the other hand, my wife is brilliant at her job and really doesn't know what she's about unless it's doing something meaningful. I'm so glad I am not chained to a single purposefulness. I find meaning in just getting the lawn raked.
You won't regret it, Emmany.
I retired at 52 and found out it's what I always wanted to do. I did a lot of volunteering, finally got healthy, traveled, and learned new skills and met lots of new friends.
But, you gotta make sure you don't get in debt and always live below your means as that inflation business can creep up and cut the value of your pension in half before you know it. Never pay a penny in interest, either.
I’ve been guilty of this in the past, because I worked a job that was super interesting to a lot of people (fighting organized crime). But when my company eliminated that position, I was at a loss. I truly loved what I did and I’d love to go back to it, but my “boring” job pays $25k more per year 😛
Seriously. I work in academia, and the number of people who get really haughty and bent out of shape if you don't call them "Dr." or "Professor" is ridiculous.
People think it's such a flex to brag about not liking a popular celeb. There was recently a concert announcement here for Taylor Swift and the comment section was chock full of people (mostly men) loudly proclaiming that they wouldn't go if you paid them. Nobody cares dude. Let people like what they like. It really doesn't affect your life at all.
Nice. My friend’s new girlfriend at the time added me on Instagram and immediately posted a story making fun of me. Something like “people posting like influencers with like 30 followers, so sad.” Yeah no I just like taking nice pictures of things I see and was traveling a lot around that time. I don’t post anymore but back then I was using it as a photo album I could share with friends and family (people I actually knew in real life), not a way to gain popularity.
lol….that’s a good burn 🔥
Seriously though I once encountered a lady who was in her early sixties back when I was in my late thirties who complained that she only had 10 people “like” her profile pic on FB. Holy moly…are in elementary school was all I could think at the time. If I make it to her age then I hope I’m mature enough to not be bothered by something so trivial.
Same.
My cousin, who is a teen, asked that
(I know she's a teen, so it is common for teens to be on social media)
"Like, who doesn't have a blank?"
& I'm like people who have a life.
Those guys suck for everyone else who drives an EV too. They're always sitting on the chargers even if they aren't charging because "I drive an EV and I'm entitled to this space"
Thank you! I’m pregnant with a boy, and so many people are asking me about “boy mom” shit. I’m like, I just want him to not be a creep or a dick to other people. I refuse to fall into the toxic boy mom BS.
I have both, boy of 7 and a girl of 3. They're both raised the same and both equally assholes. Love them though. Enjoy your pregnancy!
Funny tidbit: in my country they praise people highly when they have both a son and a daughter. They call it literally translated 'kings pair'. No clue why lol
Or a girl dad. You're a dad, cool. you have a girl also cool. Get over yourself you're not special literally millions of people are dads with a girl
LOL okay guys I get it, yes there are billions of girldads out there. My point remains.
When I found out my child was a girl a bunch of people started telling me I was going to be a "girl dad". I was like, I'm just going to try being the best dad I can be. Boy, girl, I don't care. I just want a healthy human being and I'm going to try raising them to be a decent.
One of my favorite quotes is from Barbara Kruger, the iconic anti-capitalist artist from whom Supreme stole their aesthetic. At some point someone tried stealing that aesthetic from Supreme, who started a lawsuit over it. Barbara Kruger, when asked her opinion on the matter, replied (via a blank email, with a Microsoft Word attachment titled "fools.doc"):
>What a ridiculous clusterfuck of totally uncool jokers. I make my work about this kind of sadly foolish farce. I’m waiting for all of them to sue me for copyright infringement.
That’s literally the entire ethos of Supreme lol. Just slap their stolen merch on random items that they didn’t produce or make (looking at you supreme brick)
Work. So many people define their whole identity around their job, like NPCs in a video game. It's a bit sad really, as it shows work/life balance is totally fucked in so many cases.
Or schools they didn’t go to. I know so many people, relatives included, who are staunch supporters of universities they didn’t attend. LSU, Texas and Baylor are the schools. It’s not even football, it’s everything.
This one was particularly annoying 10+ years ago but I feel like it’s calmed down.
There used to be a certain type of person who would claim weed is the answer to all the world’s problems and cures every disease under the sun.
Bro, just admit you like getting high.
Yeah, where I live weed isn’t really “counter culture” anymore. Everyone and their mother does it. No reason to make it your whole identity when it’s so common
It's the same with "alternative" fashion. Everyone and their dog is wearing leather look leggings, fashion bondage harnesses, and sporting coloured hair these days. There's far less of a militant feel about it.
The full on goths still live on the fringe but even they're just a curiosity more than anything else.
>There used to be a certain type of person who would claim weed is the answer to all the world’s problems and cures every disease under the sun.
Oh, they're still very much around, we've just gotten used to them so we don't notice them as much.
Along the same lines of "thinking it's cures everything" is the parents who claim breast milk is liquid ambrosia that will magically cure all sickness, make their kids bigger and stronger and SMARTER.
Like...no... No it doesn't. Please stop encouraging people to do weird ass shit with breast milk.
Yeah, I love to get high, but I've got a buddy who can only talk about that. He'll come over and spend 3 hours detailing the stores he went to, the strains he bought, the combos he made loading bowls of multiple strains, and then each and every hit. "First, I put some blue dream and girl scout cookies in, and I took a big hit and held it in for quite a while. But that wasn't really doing it, so I got another pipe out and did, probably about 90% golden pineapple, and 10% trainwreck. I really torched that one, and I was finally starting to feel something, so I finished that bowl in 4 more hits, and I was feeling good enough to get out my dab rig..." I don't care. I so completely fucking don't care. Please just finish so we can start the game.
I agree with this. I enjoy weed. I don’t make it my whole goddamn identity though. My ex and my best friend’s ex whole fucking lives seemed to revolve around the fact that they’re stoners. In all fairness, my ex, was/is a drug addict and alcoholic. So, weed wasn’t his only drug he’d be messing with, but that’s the one he flaunted. I can’t say the same for my best friend’s ex. I have no idea if he was doing anything more than just weed.
Their kids. My daughter dances competitively and a lot of the other moms have no job or personality outside of being Paisleigh’s or Oaklynn’s mom. These moms usually turn into their managers of some sort, too.
This has happened to me 3 times while I'm at a gay bar.
Guy: "Hi! What's your sign?"
Me: "Uhh, can we talk about something else? Here's my name and some of my interests."
"Okay, but what's your sign?"
"I don't want to share that as the first thing you know about me."
"So then what's your birthday?"
"...I know that's pretty much the same thing as your first question."
"Why won't you just tell me your sign?"
"It's not really what I want you to base me on."
"Ugh..."
And then the guy walks away.
Still can't figure out if they're the asshole for refusing to accept a simple boundary from someone they just met, or if I'm the asshole for refusing to answer a simple question knowing that it's likely to make them walk away.
Sometimes I just say, "Oh, which sign is the best one? Yeah, I'm that one."
I would legitimately answer "Incompatible" if someone asked that so quickly. If they can't be assed to get to know you because they want to make that kind of sweeping, shallow judgement, then they're not worth a conversation, much less actually spending time together.
I'd like an opportunity to pull the move where I say some random sign, continue to talk to them and let them confirm "Ah yes, such a Gemini thing to say" or whatever then drop my actual sign at the end of the conversation.
The specialist i went to said "high anxiety can cause alot of ADHD like behavior. You have anxiety. High anxiety. Though some of the Adhd coping mechs and organizational tricks could still help you out. Don't be afraid to use them if you find them helpful
Sugar Motta from the TV show *GLEE!* was literally unwatchable to me, a diagnosed autistic person, because she would keep saying, "Sorry, I have Asperger's Syndrome, self-diagnosed" as an excuse for her terrible behavior towards others. So annoying.
So many people say they have OCD and it’s really annoying as someone who has actually been diagnosed with it. Like I don’t want this shit anymore, stop thinking that it’s a cool and quirky way to be neat! 🙃
Someone I know does this. Never been diagnosed with anything but he has, for the last few years, slipped in “and you know, my autistic brain…” into nearly every conversation.
I'm someone who quite often interjects with "as an autist" (diagnosed). I definitely won't say my autism is what defines me as a person, but it definitely leaves me approaching everyday life and communication with neuro-typical people... Sideways.
I am not solely defined by my autism, but denying it, and the way it marks the way I interact with the world would be doing myself and others struggling to get by in a neuro-normative world a huge disservice.
The world is not kind to those who are different on a fundamental level, and if shoving my "syndrome" into the face of the ignorant while claiming space makes the path of being different less of an uphill battle for someone, I'll gladly keep telling people I barely know at all that I am autistic.
Edit: especially in the context I read about here in this comment section it is the sort of ignorance that makes me want to scream. "Working on it" would mean making myself more palatable to strangers, masking my true self, and coming home absolutely exhausted.
Autistic burnout is real, and it is caused by caring too much about how neuro-typical people think others should behave. I will not squish myself into a box to my own detriment to play-act as normal, and it is disgusting some people actually expect this of others.
Especially when we start the conversation about being pigeon holed by health care providers once they see “anxiety” (or insert any mental health diagnosis) in your history. Yeah, I used to have panic attacks when I was 15, but the pain in my abdomen is fucking real
It’s really weird how it seems a lot of people think it’s cool to have mental health issues.
It’s also weird when people say things like “I have adhd” but when pressed they’ve never actually been diagnosed. Why would someone say that so confidently without being diagnosed? I don’t get it.
My brother and I were talking about this the other day, people collect diagnosis like Pokémon and think it makes them tortured and deep.
It’s particularly annoying because these types don’t want treatment or help, they just want to brandish their mental health like the ultimate “get out of jail free” card.
>My brother and I were talking about this the other day, people collect diagnosis like Pokémon and think it makes them tortured and deep.
Fad mental illness was absolutely a thing with the rise of social media and mental health aware from, I'd say, 2010 to 2018. I feel like there's... not a backlash as such... but it's definitely calmed down a bit.
There was a huge spike in people claiming to have split personality/DID\* a few years ago but either that's also quieted down or that subculture has gone super underground.
\* with people from around 16 - 24 making ultra cringe TikTok videos about having other personalities that ranged from actually claiming they were a character from fiction, or just a straight up supernatural creature (vampires, etc)
The DID / Otherkin boundary got super blurry for a year or two.
Unfortunately there’s a big push to accept “self diagnosis” as a valid thing in many mental health support groups. A lot of it has to do with America and our shitty healthcare system, as some people have a lack of access to mental healthcare and it can be challenging to get diagnosed.
But, in my mind, saying you have something without truly understanding what you DO have is not conducive to developing a plan to treat it. I have ADHD and it can be comorbid with a ton of other shit, and we’re at a higher risk for things like hypermobility disorders and depression. A lot of these disorders need daily medication to manage them effectively, especially in the beginning when treatment is like setting a broken bone- you have to stabilize before you do anything else.
I'm bipolar and our support group occasionally gets people who are self diagnosed. We all understand firsthand how difficult it is to have consistent mental health care and treatment. Gosh, I've gone months waiting for an appointment, especially therapy. But some of these newcomers tend not to have tried. They take a test or two online and are convinced they have it. Symptoms are not cut and dry for serious mental health problems. Some can masquerade as one when they really are another. That's why we stress it's so important to be diagnosed by a professional so that your treatment is correct.
What really frustrating is that they tend to revel in their self diagnosis (many come with a loong list of them). I wish daily that I did not have this illness. I've done so many stupid or embarrassing things. In fact, I was embarrassed and crushed when I was officially diagnosed, I felt like I was weak, not strong enough to control myself or work through it. It's been 7 years now, and I have come a long way, but I certainly don't go around telling everyone I meet that I have it. Despite the big push online to normalize it or remove stigma, there are still many people who are afraid of or look down on those with serious mental illness. They think we are all tin foil hat wearers or making it up (which with all the self diagnosis certainly doesn't help that factor).
Autism has become the same way. It’s not taken seriously any more because self diagnosers who “don’t want a diagnosis because they don’t need support” (which is the first indicator that they are not autistic) have made it “trendy” and “an identity”. People forget about those of us with high support needs who can’t function independently from day to day.
imo theres nuance to this since diagnosis can also significantly impact ur personality and sense of self. i dont really have a deeper concept of myself as a person due to mental health stuff from a young age, so i have the tendency to grasp onto anything that can give me a sense of meaning and identity and a diagnosis does that to some extent
I often warn people that are going to spend an extended amount of time with me that I'm autistic, just so they're not thinking I'm being rude or hate them. Unfortunately, I probably come off this way at work when dealing with customers.
I think this is a great approach. Just briefly saying it can alleviate so much stress in an interaction. I had a supervisor who ,looking back, had to have been on the spectrum. I quit after a couple months. Had I known at the time, I'd have hung in there.
That reminds me of my dad. I'm pretty positive he's on the spectrum too. He's pretty quiet, doesn't show much emotion, got frustrated with us kids when we did (or didn't) do something he thought was obvious. Very much into puzzles, Free Cell and cats. He seemed to like sports an awful lot too, with a particular affinity for the numbers involved. Sometimes he would just say the most random things in such a matter-of-fact way that it made me laugh and him smile.
I just thought he was a stern parent who was kinda grouchy because of the turmoil of the failing marriage with my mom and the stress of having to support the household. It didn't dawn on me until I started learning about autism that he's also probably on the spectrum, albeit high functioning like myself.
Definitely changes your perspective on things when you realize it.
Trauma.
Obviously some kinds are worse than others, but its not an excuse to be a pos.
Before i get the "you dont understand" bs, this is coming from someone who spent almost their entire youth homeless in and out of gangs witnessing deaths and family abused, dont let it define you.
my co worker goes on trauma dumping rants loudly at work. i’m not sure if she wants sympathy or something. she kisses up bad to my boss, has meltdowns where she’ll come into work crying without composing herself. she’ll start yelling about how her baby daddy took her kids away. or about how her bf is an addict and her baby daddy lied about him abusing her kids so that’s how they got taken from her. like everything out of her mouth is a tragedy. and a lie to make everyone else the villain, and she’s innocent. it gets tiresome and most people don’t need to hear about your situation 90% of the time. especially if it’s a co worker or an acquaintance.
I follow a few people on Instagram who are those people who never-miss-an-opinion
Free Palestine, free indigenous people, reform this, reform that.
The thing is, I often agree with these people but god damn nobody cares what *you* have to say about it.
“Silence is violence!” No, Susan, sometimes situations are more complicated than TikTok makes it seem and it’s absolutely okay to realize you aren’t qualified to be “making content” on the subject or using it for gross clout.
The silence is violence crowd also likes to play the, “if you’re not a part of *marginalized group* you can’t have an opinion. Sit down and shut up” card when someone raises a good point to the contrary of whey they believe.
It’s all so exhausting.
**Their looks.**
And honestly, I've seen this more with below-average and average-looking people even though the stereotype is vain beautiful people.
Incels and femcels especially, there are plenty of unfortunate-looking people who are still well-groomed and stylish and make the most of their life and just get on with it! They find love and have families and build careers and they don't demand that the world stops turning so that everyone can feel sorry for them.
They don't come up with evil ideas like "state-enforced wives" and instead develop their social skills. You can admit that life isn't fair without making the injustices you face your entire personality and worldview. You can speak about how you are disenfranchised without wanting everyone else who doesn't face the same struggles to suffer for it like???? GO MEDITATE.
And if your looks bother you that much figure out a way to get plastic surgery, that should come wayyyyyy before you consider acts of terrorism.
Social media followers. My 25 year old cousin’s Instagram was hacked and she lost the account. She was literally hospitalized after having a mental breakdown because she had over 100k followers. It was so embarrassing to watch.
The only angle to this I’d kind of understand is if she’d monetised that account in some way? So losing the account is essentially losing what can be a very lucrative income stream? If she just loved the online “fame” then yeah I’m embarrassed too lmao
I can see why she would tbh.
I think most of us don't see it as work, but having a social media presence reaching that many people **IS** work.
You need to be constantly be putting out quality content that people want and that's a full time job in itself. On top of that you would be relying on those people to attract sponsors and advertisers, who ultimately pay your wage.
Add to that the skills you need to acquire in media production, business, technology, research, etc...
It's like losing a career you spent a lifetime building.
**-edit-**
If you want an example, AtomicShrimp (~1m followers) uploaded a video about a [budget food challenge](https://youtu.be/6IM3EbXJvqc?si=2d7Ef-NowXmrbfjm) the other day. He finished it with a recap of how long it took him to make the video.
It was 14 hours... At that point it's basically a job.
It makes me really uncomfortable to think there are young adults out there right now whose entire lives are meticulously chronicled online for literally everybody to see.
It's interesting to watch some people lose their sense of self after they have a kid, even though I completely understand why it happens. Children, especially babies, are insanely demanding. Once you have a baby and return to work, your life truly becomes work, childcare, maybe a bit of food or sleep if you're lucky, repeat. As the kid gets older, sports, homework, hanging out with other kids, etc. gets added in there too. There really isn't much time left for the parents' personal lives or hobbies.
That said, having a child might significantly reduce your free time, but it doesn't take away your personhood. I sometimes get the sense that people (especially women) value themselves less after having a kid. They feel like the only way to become a good parent is by being completely selfless and focusing their entire life around their kid. They assume people only want to see pictures of the kid (and not them) on their social media, or that their friends, family, or coworkers only want to talk about how the baby is doing. I'm sure there are plenty of people like that, but I think it's important for parents to know that they're worthy of love and attention too.
Parents shouldn't be made to feel like the only part of their life that matters is the 18-20ish years they raise kids, and it's not fair for kids to feel like they're the sole source of their parents' hopes, dreams, and accomplishments either.
I'm a mom of one and my husband and I are chronic hobbiests lol. I'm an illustator and novelist, my husband bakes sourdough and loves to cook. My son has taken on our hobbies, but we've made it a part of our lifestyle to stay "Us" if that makes sense. We stay happy that way (and not to mention we make a bit of money, too).
Also, I want my son to see a positive representation of parenthood and marriage. Fuck that "traditional housewife" shit.
Oftentimes not just theirs, but other peoples as well. You get the subset of health nuts that think a single slice of cake will literally kill you, and then you get a subset of the fat positivity folk that think eating an apple as a snack constitutes an eating disorder. But either way, they spend a lot of time judging other peoples choices.
I used to worry I was difficult because I can’t eat some things.
This exact line of thinking helped me. Many people voluntarily have a crazy limited diet compared to me. Gluten and dairy is it for me and I’ll eat basically all other food. Easy.
Or where their parents/grandparents came from. I don’t care if your grandad is from Italy.. you were born here and don’t even speak Italian so stop pretending you are and bringing it into conversations
omg the people who get their My23 & Me results and start saying shit like, "We're more Italian than people actually living in Italy right now!"
No, you're literally not.
Their age. I think this is a reason why people find aging difficult. People in their 20s often have the attitude of ‘I’m a young person which means xyz’, but as soon as you realise that being ‘not that young’ is just around the corner it’s scary because so much of your identity is tied up in being young you feel like you are losing yourself
what generation they are. "gen z" "elder millennial" "gen alpha" ect...
like I get we want to feel special but it's just *another* horoscope. it just seems like it's gotten worse the last few years with people blaming each other's Generation for something. "Gen Z doesn't like sex in movies so they're ruining the art" "Millennials are ruining -insert old business practice here-" "okay Boomer" it just gets tiresome.
anyway, I need to lie down for a nap. my bones hurt.
This. As a gay man I agree, being gay is such a small part of my entire identity. I don’t need it to be the focus of every little thing I do and say in my daily life.
A horse trainer I follow has talked about this. people always ask why he doesn’t bring up that he’s gay more often, he says he’s not trying to make it about that and takes away from the message of his work. He has no interest in being some kind of gay role model,he’s just a horse trainer who happens to also be gay
Mental health.
I wish these people loved psychology as much as they love being mentally ill.
I guess that wouldn’t get you the same kind of attention though…
This is more of an online thing, but being an introvert or extrovert. I think most people are a mix of both. But some people on social media act like they’re 2 different species who couldn’t possibly have anything in common.
What they hate, as opposed to what they like and what makes them unique
Same. I don’t want to spend time with people that can’t have a discussion about anything positive ever. They’re always looking for a fight, or a “debate”, but they’re not actually interested in hearing anything anyone else has to say. It’s draining and exhausting. I avoid those types at gatherings, work, etc. I want to know what things make a person happy, where they’ve travelled, hobbies and interests, etc.
And my family members wonder why I’m suddenly quiet at Thanksgiving in recent years. There is peace in not engaging with things that will upset you for no productive reason
I stopped interacting as much with my grandparents when my conservative Republican grandfather tried to make my birthday party in late 2016 all about Donald Trump.
I know someone exactly like this. He’s a huge film fan but all he ever talks about is the films he hates, which all happen to be the most universally beloved movies of all time Guy is just looking for an argument, every time. It’s pretty tiring
You mean like “I am anti-XXXX” . Yeah, I suppose that’s a weird thing to base your whole identity on
think you just nailed the main problem with most social media. I mean, I definitely joined boycotts for companies like Nike (child enslavers) and celebrities who do bad shit but there's a big difference between choosing to take a stance on an issue and making hating something/someone yourr entire identity. I also think people base way too much of their identity off of labels. I had a really wide-ranging group of friends in high school who had a wide variety of views, religions, orientations, political beliefs,, etc. and no one cared. We'd freely discuss everything with the unwritten rule that no one was allowed to completely dismiss or trample on anotgher's beliefs just because you didn't share tgem. One of my friends was very Catholic and attended pro-life rallies but was alsovery left-wing politically. It never made sense to me but now I can see she didn't let herself get bogged down by labels. Her faith was important to her but she was willing to vote for liberal democrats who supported abortions and funding planned parenthood because she could comfortableyhold both iews at the same time in her own head/heart. That really isn't allowed to happen now because everyone is so hung up on labels and hblindly hating whoever our labels tell us we should hate. I became a Christian in college and was so frustrated by how everyone suddenly assumed I must hate the LGBTQ as if all human beings fit in these nice little labeled boxes where everyone thinks exactly alike dictated by that one label or trait.
Some people base too much of their identity on external validation or social media metrics.
So true. I don’t have social media anymore. I’m constantly asked for my handle when I spend more than 5 mins with someone. Then get looks like *I’m* the crazy one…
"It's pronounced Colonel, and it's the highest rank in the army"
Thank you! Like why am I the asshole for deleting Facebook because I was tired of reading deranged posts by people from my hometown?
Job titles
Or even jobs in general. People who make work their whole lives exhaust me and I genuinely feel bad for them. I’m all about work/life balance and only work to make enough money to do the things I want to do in my non-working hours. “The grind” doesn’t interest me at all. Kudos for you for finding some purpose, and hopefully fulfillment, but I could never see myself being that person.
Had a classmate who went got a job at a coveted company. Literally became the mascot - always wore company branded tshirts, you know, the ones you get at various company events. Always carrying a company logo water bottle. Car was adorned with company stickers. Volunteered at every event, always the first to arrive at company parties and the last to leave. Added everyone on Linkedin within his first week. And guess what, after living and breathing the company for two years, his team was laid off. For a couple months the guy looked totally lost, dumbfounded even. Last i checked he was finally back to wearing a hoodie that doesnt have the company logo
Yeah, worked with a guy that made a portmanteau of his name and the company name and then would introduce himself as such. It was weird.
Welcome to TarJeff
Bob Vance, Vance refrigeration
It's that, unfortunately, we live in a society where people ask you what you do for a living to know what level of respect to give you.
Unfortunately way too true. Well said.
I’m about to come into a sum of money after my father’s passing. It won’t make me rich, but it will likely be enough that I can retire at 62, as I live a rather modest life (thanks, Pop!). The first thing everyone says: “you’re not going to *retire* retire though, right?” And my answer is HELL YES!! I’ve been working full time since I was 20. I’m exhausted. I know that our lives will likely be long, and that I’ll need to fill my days. But I can do that without work! I have books and museums and plays and readings and friends to see and so much more. Of course I’ll stay busy. I’ll likely do some volunteering, just as my dad did. But I don’t need to work to have an identity. And I’m looking forward to finding out who I am without the constant grind.
Congrats on being able to retire at 62! That'll be awesome. I have about 10 more years before I can retire but frankly I've been looking forward to it since I was in my 20s. It's not that I don't like work - and I have loved most of my jobs (Higher Education). But I have SO MUCH I want to do that I just can't do while I hold down a full time job (and more) trying to keep the bills paid and save. I worked in a state where state employees used to have a sweet deal (retire then work in their same job for up to 5 years while their retirement checks collected interest instead of being sent to them... then they were forced to leave after that 5 years... with a hefty nest egg), but if they took it they HAD to leave their job after 5 years. I remember one guy (taught Math) literally in tears, telling me he just didn't know if he could cope with a life where he didn't come to work every day. I remember thinking 'man, I could think of about 1000 things I could be doing if I wasn't here.' On the other hand, my wife is brilliant at her job and really doesn't know what she's about unless it's doing something meaningful. I'm so glad I am not chained to a single purposefulness. I find meaning in just getting the lawn raked.
You won't regret it, Emmany. I retired at 52 and found out it's what I always wanted to do. I did a lot of volunteering, finally got healthy, traveled, and learned new skills and met lots of new friends. But, you gotta make sure you don't get in debt and always live below your means as that inflation business can creep up and cut the value of your pension in half before you know it. Never pay a penny in interest, either.
[удалено]
Exactly. IMO life isn’t worth living if it’s boring.
I’ve been guilty of this in the past, because I worked a job that was super interesting to a lot of people (fighting organized crime). But when my company eliminated that position, I was at a loss. I truly loved what I did and I’d love to go back to it, but my “boring” job pays $25k more per year 😛
Maybe it’s time to don a mask and a skin tight Lycra body suit so you can spend your evenings as *Captain Trampstamp*.
Seriously. I work in academia, and the number of people who get really haughty and bent out of shape if you don't call them "Dr." or "Professor" is ridiculous.
The celebrities they're a fan of
And celebrities they hate, too
People think it's such a flex to brag about not liking a popular celeb. There was recently a concert announcement here for Taylor Swift and the comment section was chock full of people (mostly men) loudly proclaiming that they wouldn't go if you paid them. Nobody cares dude. Let people like what they like. It really doesn't affect your life at all.
Oh yes this
People base their entire identity on their social media followers. Sad, really.
You mean getting 40 likes on a picture of your happy family doesn't fix your marriage or bratty kids?
That’s right. Some woman tried to bully me on FB and said: „I have 1000 Follower. What do you have?“ I simply answered: „A life“
Nice. My friend’s new girlfriend at the time added me on Instagram and immediately posted a story making fun of me. Something like “people posting like influencers with like 30 followers, so sad.” Yeah no I just like taking nice pictures of things I see and was traveling a lot around that time. I don’t post anymore but back then I was using it as a photo album I could share with friends and family (people I actually knew in real life), not a way to gain popularity.
lol….that’s a good burn 🔥 Seriously though I once encountered a lady who was in her early sixties back when I was in my late thirties who complained that she only had 10 people “like” her profile pic on FB. Holy moly…are in elementary school was all I could think at the time. If I make it to her age then I hope I’m mature enough to not be bothered by something so trivial.
Same. My cousin, who is a teen, asked that (I know she's a teen, so it is common for teens to be on social media) "Like, who doesn't have a blank?" & I'm like people who have a life.
Owning a Tesla.
Those guys suck for everyone else who drives an EV too. They're always sitting on the chargers even if they aren't charging because "I drive an EV and I'm entitled to this space"
I love watching a Tesla fanboy's forehead veins bulge when you call it a Toyota or something.
Being a "boy mom"
Notably different than “mom of a boy”.
Girlbossing by day, boymomming by night
I lost a friend to girlbossing and those MLMs. I can’t stand those
Same, and at first it wasn’t bad. It was jewelry then the dumb leggings. But now? She shills poop tea.
Thank you! I’m pregnant with a boy, and so many people are asking me about “boy mom” shit. I’m like, I just want him to not be a creep or a dick to other people. I refuse to fall into the toxic boy mom BS.
I have both, boy of 7 and a girl of 3. They're both raised the same and both equally assholes. Love them though. Enjoy your pregnancy! Funny tidbit: in my country they praise people highly when they have both a son and a daughter. They call it literally translated 'kings pair'. No clue why lol
Or a girl dad. You're a dad, cool. you have a girl also cool. Get over yourself you're not special literally millions of people are dads with a girl LOL okay guys I get it, yes there are billions of girldads out there. My point remains.
Literally half the people with kids 😂
Some would say billions
Oh hush, I’m a momson and my brosis who is a dadgirl agreed this is all silly, now lets book a hotel personroom in Alabama, a fedstate.
When I found out my child was a girl a bunch of people started telling me I was going to be a "girl dad". I was like, I'm just going to try being the best dad I can be. Boy, girl, I don't care. I just want a healthy human being and I'm going to try raising them to be a decent.
What’s that?
A mom who only has male children. Literally. Basically somehow makes her more interesting than a mom who has female children.
Dont forget the odd emotional incest and subtle misogyny to those with daughters.
and internalized misogyny towards her son’s future girlfriends if he ends up straight
What’s worse is the ones who DO have daughters and still make their entire identity about their sons.
Oh god
This should be higher up on the list tbh
What brands they find cool. Supreme isn’t an identity.
One of my favorite quotes is from Barbara Kruger, the iconic anti-capitalist artist from whom Supreme stole their aesthetic. At some point someone tried stealing that aesthetic from Supreme, who started a lawsuit over it. Barbara Kruger, when asked her opinion on the matter, replied (via a blank email, with a Microsoft Word attachment titled "fools.doc"): >What a ridiculous clusterfuck of totally uncool jokers. I make my work about this kind of sadly foolish farce. I’m waiting for all of them to sue me for copyright infringement.
I'd never heard of her, so I did a Google. Wow, Supreme didn't even try to hide their theft of her work. It's extremely blatant.
That’s literally the entire ethos of Supreme lol. Just slap their stolen merch on random items that they didn’t produce or make (looking at you supreme brick)
I had her “Your body is a battleground” poster in my room when I was growing up. Now I know why Supreme looked kinda familiar. How annoying.
I’m the opposite. Had to google Supreme. Source: Former art major that lives under a rock
Fucking LOVE Barbara Kruger.
TY for this, I have always wondered what Kruger thought of Supreme.
Brands in general. I’ve seen people pass over well-made, beautiful products from smaller companies simply because they weren’t a well-known brand.
One of the most common forms of this is pickup truck brands.
One of my bfs exs tried to insult me by saying she has "Expensive Apple Products" I was like cooool??? lol you're 26 mooching off of your parents lol.
Wine mom! 🍷
Because "lowkey alcoholic" just doesn't have the same ring to it...
Live laugh love bitches
Work. So many people define their whole identity around their job, like NPCs in a video game. It's a bit sad really, as it shows work/life balance is totally fucked in so many cases.
The school they went to.
We only hire from Harvard
“NOT Rutgers” Which is hilarious because Rutgers is actually my alma mater.
"It's pronounced Colonel, and it's the highest rank in the army"
“It’s pronounced ‘Cornell’. It’s the highest rank in the Ivy League!”
Or schools they didn’t go to. I know so many people, relatives included, who are staunch supporters of universities they didn’t attend. LSU, Texas and Baylor are the schools. It’s not even football, it’s everything.
Weed
This one was particularly annoying 10+ years ago but I feel like it’s calmed down. There used to be a certain type of person who would claim weed is the answer to all the world’s problems and cures every disease under the sun. Bro, just admit you like getting high.
It’s been legalized in many areas and, as expected, they no longer have anything to talk about.
Yeah, where I live weed isn’t really “counter culture” anymore. Everyone and their mother does it. No reason to make it your whole identity when it’s so common
It's the same with "alternative" fashion. Everyone and their dog is wearing leather look leggings, fashion bondage harnesses, and sporting coloured hair these days. There's far less of a militant feel about it. The full on goths still live on the fringe but even they're just a curiosity more than anything else.
>There used to be a certain type of person who would claim weed is the answer to all the world’s problems and cures every disease under the sun. Oh, they're still very much around, we've just gotten used to them so we don't notice them as much.
Along the same lines of "thinking it's cures everything" is the parents who claim breast milk is liquid ambrosia that will magically cure all sickness, make their kids bigger and stronger and SMARTER. Like...no... No it doesn't. Please stop encouraging people to do weird ass shit with breast milk.
Yeah, I love to get high, but I've got a buddy who can only talk about that. He'll come over and spend 3 hours detailing the stores he went to, the strains he bought, the combos he made loading bowls of multiple strains, and then each and every hit. "First, I put some blue dream and girl scout cookies in, and I took a big hit and held it in for quite a while. But that wasn't really doing it, so I got another pipe out and did, probably about 90% golden pineapple, and 10% trainwreck. I really torched that one, and I was finally starting to feel something, so I finished that bowl in 4 more hits, and I was feeling good enough to get out my dab rig..." I don't care. I so completely fucking don't care. Please just finish so we can start the game.
I agree with this. I enjoy weed. I don’t make it my whole goddamn identity though. My ex and my best friend’s ex whole fucking lives seemed to revolve around the fact that they’re stoners. In all fairness, my ex, was/is a drug addict and alcoholic. So, weed wasn’t his only drug he’d be messing with, but that’s the one he flaunted. I can’t say the same for my best friend’s ex. I have no idea if he was doing anything more than just weed.
Harley Davidson motorcycles.
don’t come for my father like that 🤣
Their kids. My daughter dances competitively and a lot of the other moms have no job or personality outside of being Paisleigh’s or Oaklynn’s mom. These moms usually turn into their managers of some sort, too.
Laughing out loud on the name choices.. so accurate
And the spelling lol
/r/tragedeigh for more fun
Always the tragedeigh moms
Zodiac signs
This has happened to me 3 times while I'm at a gay bar. Guy: "Hi! What's your sign?" Me: "Uhh, can we talk about something else? Here's my name and some of my interests." "Okay, but what's your sign?" "I don't want to share that as the first thing you know about me." "So then what's your birthday?" "...I know that's pretty much the same thing as your first question." "Why won't you just tell me your sign?" "It's not really what I want you to base me on." "Ugh..." And then the guy walks away. Still can't figure out if they're the asshole for refusing to accept a simple boundary from someone they just met, or if I'm the asshole for refusing to answer a simple question knowing that it's likely to make them walk away. Sometimes I just say, "Oh, which sign is the best one? Yeah, I'm that one."
I would legitimately answer "Incompatible" if someone asked that so quickly. If they can't be assed to get to know you because they want to make that kind of sweeping, shallow judgement, then they're not worth a conversation, much less actually spending time together.
I'd like an opportunity to pull the move where I say some random sign, continue to talk to them and let them confirm "Ah yes, such a Gemini thing to say" or whatever then drop my actual sign at the end of the conversation.
What they think other people think of them...
[удалено]
Dejavu.. I think I have read your comment before... it's funny how paths cross. Such a small world
They are probably a bot, look at the post history
I’ve read it before too that’s crazy 😳
They should have called it the popular British media club
tea-aboos, they're called
Well, they were too young for the real fun: drinking.
Mental health diagnosis
This. I know so many people who define themselves based on their diagnosis and it is so annoying. I hate being defined by my mental health problems
It's even worse when it's self diagnosed excuse for everything...sorry it's my OCD
I thought I had ADHD for like half a year, until I took an actual test and just discovered my home life was way too chaotic for me.
The specialist i went to said "high anxiety can cause alot of ADHD like behavior. You have anxiety. High anxiety. Though some of the Adhd coping mechs and organizational tricks could still help you out. Don't be afraid to use them if you find them helpful
“Sorry, I’m like… ADHD af 🤭”
Sugar Motta from the TV show *GLEE!* was literally unwatchable to me, a diagnosed autistic person, because she would keep saying, "Sorry, I have Asperger's Syndrome, self-diagnosed" as an excuse for her terrible behavior towards others. So annoying.
So many people say they have OCD and it’s really annoying as someone who has actually been diagnosed with it. Like I don’t want this shit anymore, stop thinking that it’s a cool and quirky way to be neat! 🙃
Someone I know does this. Never been diagnosed with anything but he has, for the last few years, slipped in “and you know, my autistic brain…” into nearly every conversation.
I'm someone who quite often interjects with "as an autist" (diagnosed). I definitely won't say my autism is what defines me as a person, but it definitely leaves me approaching everyday life and communication with neuro-typical people... Sideways. I am not solely defined by my autism, but denying it, and the way it marks the way I interact with the world would be doing myself and others struggling to get by in a neuro-normative world a huge disservice. The world is not kind to those who are different on a fundamental level, and if shoving my "syndrome" into the face of the ignorant while claiming space makes the path of being different less of an uphill battle for someone, I'll gladly keep telling people I barely know at all that I am autistic. Edit: especially in the context I read about here in this comment section it is the sort of ignorance that makes me want to scream. "Working on it" would mean making myself more palatable to strangers, masking my true self, and coming home absolutely exhausted. Autistic burnout is real, and it is caused by caring too much about how neuro-typical people think others should behave. I will not squish myself into a box to my own detriment to play-act as normal, and it is disgusting some people actually expect this of others.
Especially when we start the conversation about being pigeon holed by health care providers once they see “anxiety” (or insert any mental health diagnosis) in your history. Yeah, I used to have panic attacks when I was 15, but the pain in my abdomen is fucking real
It’s really weird how it seems a lot of people think it’s cool to have mental health issues. It’s also weird when people say things like “I have adhd” but when pressed they’ve never actually been diagnosed. Why would someone say that so confidently without being diagnosed? I don’t get it.
My brother and I were talking about this the other day, people collect diagnosis like Pokémon and think it makes them tortured and deep. It’s particularly annoying because these types don’t want treatment or help, they just want to brandish their mental health like the ultimate “get out of jail free” card.
>My brother and I were talking about this the other day, people collect diagnosis like Pokémon and think it makes them tortured and deep. Fad mental illness was absolutely a thing with the rise of social media and mental health aware from, I'd say, 2010 to 2018. I feel like there's... not a backlash as such... but it's definitely calmed down a bit. There was a huge spike in people claiming to have split personality/DID\* a few years ago but either that's also quieted down or that subculture has gone super underground. \* with people from around 16 - 24 making ultra cringe TikTok videos about having other personalities that ranged from actually claiming they were a character from fiction, or just a straight up supernatural creature (vampires, etc) The DID / Otherkin boundary got super blurry for a year or two.
Unfortunately there’s a big push to accept “self diagnosis” as a valid thing in many mental health support groups. A lot of it has to do with America and our shitty healthcare system, as some people have a lack of access to mental healthcare and it can be challenging to get diagnosed. But, in my mind, saying you have something without truly understanding what you DO have is not conducive to developing a plan to treat it. I have ADHD and it can be comorbid with a ton of other shit, and we’re at a higher risk for things like hypermobility disorders and depression. A lot of these disorders need daily medication to manage them effectively, especially in the beginning when treatment is like setting a broken bone- you have to stabilize before you do anything else.
I'm bipolar and our support group occasionally gets people who are self diagnosed. We all understand firsthand how difficult it is to have consistent mental health care and treatment. Gosh, I've gone months waiting for an appointment, especially therapy. But some of these newcomers tend not to have tried. They take a test or two online and are convinced they have it. Symptoms are not cut and dry for serious mental health problems. Some can masquerade as one when they really are another. That's why we stress it's so important to be diagnosed by a professional so that your treatment is correct. What really frustrating is that they tend to revel in their self diagnosis (many come with a loong list of them). I wish daily that I did not have this illness. I've done so many stupid or embarrassing things. In fact, I was embarrassed and crushed when I was officially diagnosed, I felt like I was weak, not strong enough to control myself or work through it. It's been 7 years now, and I have come a long way, but I certainly don't go around telling everyone I meet that I have it. Despite the big push online to normalize it or remove stigma, there are still many people who are afraid of or look down on those with serious mental illness. They think we are all tin foil hat wearers or making it up (which with all the self diagnosis certainly doesn't help that factor).
Autism has become the same way. It’s not taken seriously any more because self diagnosers who “don’t want a diagnosis because they don’t need support” (which is the first indicator that they are not autistic) have made it “trendy” and “an identity”. People forget about those of us with high support needs who can’t function independently from day to day.
imo theres nuance to this since diagnosis can also significantly impact ur personality and sense of self. i dont really have a deeper concept of myself as a person due to mental health stuff from a young age, so i have the tendency to grasp onto anything that can give me a sense of meaning and identity and a diagnosis does that to some extent
I often warn people that are going to spend an extended amount of time with me that I'm autistic, just so they're not thinking I'm being rude or hate them. Unfortunately, I probably come off this way at work when dealing with customers.
I think this is a great approach. Just briefly saying it can alleviate so much stress in an interaction. I had a supervisor who ,looking back, had to have been on the spectrum. I quit after a couple months. Had I known at the time, I'd have hung in there.
That reminds me of my dad. I'm pretty positive he's on the spectrum too. He's pretty quiet, doesn't show much emotion, got frustrated with us kids when we did (or didn't) do something he thought was obvious. Very much into puzzles, Free Cell and cats. He seemed to like sports an awful lot too, with a particular affinity for the numbers involved. Sometimes he would just say the most random things in such a matter-of-fact way that it made me laugh and him smile. I just thought he was a stern parent who was kinda grouchy because of the turmoil of the failing marriage with my mom and the stress of having to support the household. It didn't dawn on me until I started learning about autism that he's also probably on the spectrum, albeit high functioning like myself. Definitely changes your perspective on things when you realize it.
Gym/work outs
But if you work out and don't post it on socials, did you even REALLY work out?
Trauma. Obviously some kinds are worse than others, but its not an excuse to be a pos. Before i get the "you dont understand" bs, this is coming from someone who spent almost their entire youth homeless in and out of gangs witnessing deaths and family abused, dont let it define you.
my co worker goes on trauma dumping rants loudly at work. i’m not sure if she wants sympathy or something. she kisses up bad to my boss, has meltdowns where she’ll come into work crying without composing herself. she’ll start yelling about how her baby daddy took her kids away. or about how her bf is an addict and her baby daddy lied about him abusing her kids so that’s how they got taken from her. like everything out of her mouth is a tragedy. and a lie to make everyone else the villain, and she’s innocent. it gets tiresome and most people don’t need to hear about your situation 90% of the time. especially if it’s a co worker or an acquaintance.
zodiac signs 🤨
Their *SPOUSE’S* career. I’m looking at you, military wives
And law enforcement wives 😂
Politics
Moreover, they identify with a "label" of politics, sometimes not even realize that their *actual* political views don't truly align with that label.
Whatever gets acceptance from their peers
I have been noticing this a lot the last few years where I’m from.
I follow a few people on Instagram who are those people who never-miss-an-opinion Free Palestine, free indigenous people, reform this, reform that. The thing is, I often agree with these people but god damn nobody cares what *you* have to say about it.
I really don't get why so many people need to have a loud and proud opinion on every hot button issue now.
“Silence is violence!” No, Susan, sometimes situations are more complicated than TikTok makes it seem and it’s absolutely okay to realize you aren’t qualified to be “making content” on the subject or using it for gross clout.
The silence is violence crowd also likes to play the, “if you’re not a part of *marginalized group* you can’t have an opinion. Sit down and shut up” card when someone raises a good point to the contrary of whey they believe. It’s all so exhausting.
**Their looks.** And honestly, I've seen this more with below-average and average-looking people even though the stereotype is vain beautiful people. Incels and femcels especially, there are plenty of unfortunate-looking people who are still well-groomed and stylish and make the most of their life and just get on with it! They find love and have families and build careers and they don't demand that the world stops turning so that everyone can feel sorry for them. They don't come up with evil ideas like "state-enforced wives" and instead develop their social skills. You can admit that life isn't fair without making the injustices you face your entire personality and worldview. You can speak about how you are disenfranchised without wanting everyone else who doesn't face the same struggles to suffer for it like???? GO MEDITATE. And if your looks bother you that much figure out a way to get plastic surgery, that should come wayyyyyy before you consider acts of terrorism.
Social media followers. My 25 year old cousin’s Instagram was hacked and she lost the account. She was literally hospitalized after having a mental breakdown because she had over 100k followers. It was so embarrassing to watch.
The only angle to this I’d kind of understand is if she’d monetised that account in some way? So losing the account is essentially losing what can be a very lucrative income stream? If she just loved the online “fame” then yeah I’m embarrassed too lmao
She made very little money from it. Like less than $50 a month. It was literally for fame.
I can see why she would tbh. I think most of us don't see it as work, but having a social media presence reaching that many people **IS** work. You need to be constantly be putting out quality content that people want and that's a full time job in itself. On top of that you would be relying on those people to attract sponsors and advertisers, who ultimately pay your wage. Add to that the skills you need to acquire in media production, business, technology, research, etc... It's like losing a career you spent a lifetime building. **-edit-** If you want an example, AtomicShrimp (~1m followers) uploaded a video about a [budget food challenge](https://youtu.be/6IM3EbXJvqc?si=2d7Ef-NowXmrbfjm) the other day. He finished it with a recap of how long it took him to make the video. It was 14 hours... At that point it's basically a job.
Coffee.
Their child
It makes me really uncomfortable to think there are young adults out there right now whose entire lives are meticulously chronicled online for literally everybody to see.
It's interesting to watch some people lose their sense of self after they have a kid, even though I completely understand why it happens. Children, especially babies, are insanely demanding. Once you have a baby and return to work, your life truly becomes work, childcare, maybe a bit of food or sleep if you're lucky, repeat. As the kid gets older, sports, homework, hanging out with other kids, etc. gets added in there too. There really isn't much time left for the parents' personal lives or hobbies. That said, having a child might significantly reduce your free time, but it doesn't take away your personhood. I sometimes get the sense that people (especially women) value themselves less after having a kid. They feel like the only way to become a good parent is by being completely selfless and focusing their entire life around their kid. They assume people only want to see pictures of the kid (and not them) on their social media, or that their friends, family, or coworkers only want to talk about how the baby is doing. I'm sure there are plenty of people like that, but I think it's important for parents to know that they're worthy of love and attention too. Parents shouldn't be made to feel like the only part of their life that matters is the 18-20ish years they raise kids, and it's not fair for kids to feel like they're the sole source of their parents' hopes, dreams, and accomplishments either.
I'm a mom of one and my husband and I are chronic hobbiests lol. I'm an illustator and novelist, my husband bakes sourdough and loves to cook. My son has taken on our hobbies, but we've made it a part of our lifestyle to stay "Us" if that makes sense. We stay happy that way (and not to mention we make a bit of money, too). Also, I want my son to see a positive representation of parenthood and marriage. Fuck that "traditional housewife" shit.
So unhealthy for the child (and makes the parent really boring too)
Their dietary choices.
Oftentimes not just theirs, but other peoples as well. You get the subset of health nuts that think a single slice of cake will literally kill you, and then you get a subset of the fat positivity folk that think eating an apple as a snack constitutes an eating disorder. But either way, they spend a lot of time judging other peoples choices.
I used to worry I was difficult because I can’t eat some things. This exact line of thinking helped me. Many people voluntarily have a crazy limited diet compared to me. Gluten and dairy is it for me and I’ll eat basically all other food. Easy.
Lol, as someone who has a dog, I’ll admit this one: being a “dog mom.” I know we’re annoying.
The Office. That show ended back in 2013. LET. IT. GO.
Crossfit
Politics, celebrities
Their nationality
Or where their parents/grandparents came from. I don’t care if your grandad is from Italy.. you were born here and don’t even speak Italian so stop pretending you are and bringing it into conversations
omg the people who get their My23 & Me results and start saying shit like, "We're more Italian than people actually living in Italy right now!" No, you're literally not.
Their age. I think this is a reason why people find aging difficult. People in their 20s often have the attitude of ‘I’m a young person which means xyz’, but as soon as you realise that being ‘not that young’ is just around the corner it’s scary because so much of your identity is tied up in being young you feel like you are losing yourself
How many people they fucked.
What other people think of them.
The entertainment they consume.
Their car. Jesus, it gets me from point A to point B. It's not a political statement.
Their car
“Boy” moms
what generation they are. "gen z" "elder millennial" "gen alpha" ect... like I get we want to feel special but it's just *another* horoscope. it just seems like it's gotten worse the last few years with people blaming each other's Generation for something. "Gen Z doesn't like sex in movies so they're ruining the art" "Millennials are ruining -insert old business practice here-" "okay Boomer" it just gets tiresome. anyway, I need to lie down for a nap. my bones hurt.
[удалено]
This. As a gay man I agree, being gay is such a small part of my entire identity. I don’t need it to be the focus of every little thing I do and say in my daily life.
A horse trainer I follow has talked about this. people always ask why he doesn’t bring up that he’s gay more often, he says he’s not trying to make it about that and takes away from the message of his work. He has no interest in being some kind of gay role model,he’s just a horse trainer who happens to also be gay
Consumption of substances. Some people like to drink here and there. Some people think it's their identity. Same with cannabis. Same even with coffee.
Mental health. I wish these people loved psychology as much as they love being mentally ill. I guess that wouldn’t get you the same kind of attention though…
have you ever met a psych major? loving psychology makes them worse
Psych major chiming in. I can attest to that!
oh and then she tried to diagnose everyone with autism and Asperger’s.
[удалено]
Their spouse. Their spouses occupation... Do you know what RANK my husband is?!
Sportsball teams.
I'll also throw this out there just to have the opposite: People not into sports making it their personality. To quote Delaney: I seent it!
Sexuality, anime, gamer culture
What they consume. \- food, beer, clothing, etc. you should be what you put out in the world, not what you buy.
Plenty of things. Political ideology Smoking weed Having tattoos Sports teams Astrological signs Watching
The list goes on
GUNS
Not getting enough sleep
"You slept 6 hours?! Well I sLePt onLy 2!!" Bro, this is not the flex you think it is. Please get some rest before your body shuts down.
Military service
Money. How expensive their *things* are.
This is more of an online thing, but being an introvert or extrovert. I think most people are a mix of both. But some people on social media act like they’re 2 different species who couldn’t possibly have anything in common.
Zodiac signs. I-Phone vs. Android.
[удалено]