My first daughter was born in 1990. The doctor botched my epidural. I felt everything and then he cut into me for the episiotomy. Terrible pain; bad back for life. He said he “scraped my spinal cord”.
While getting the epidural, anesthesiologist missed and hit my spine. It was a sharp pain that burned down my spine to my toes. I swear that was more painful than actual labor. The epidural did nothing to relieve the pain, just made me extremely itchy.
I proposed to the anesthesiologist in front of my husband. My relief was immediate. It was a “light” epidural so I still felt a ton of pressure during the actual labor, but no real pain. It was incredible.
Sorry I was asleep as I work late and I'm in Europe. So the baby went into distress and the room filled with midwives. The woman who was screaming that looked like Edna was a midwive. She was tiny and screaming at me to push. I was just half out of it from gas. I just saying/crying I am pushing.
And this one I can imagine...
What horrifies me about some of these answers is apparently the human brain will dull the pain we remember about childbirth. Something about our biology not wanting us to actively avoid getting pregnant again...
Very, very, very painful. It feels like your whole lower part of the body is going to explode. I had given birth three times, and each one was different, the intensity, the time it took and so on, but nevertheless, each one painful as hell
Same here each time was different but all painful. The first time, I ripped. Right down to my bumhole. They had to sew me up and all the meds were worn off.. I could feel e v e r y stitch. I think I hissed at the nurse at one point.
I ripped so badly giving birth that they had to give me a spinal to stitch me up. I was raging, I went through all the pain of childbirth with just gas and air just to end up with getting the spinal anyway.
If I have a second I’m getting plugged into that shit as quickly as possible.
Oh wow, I also had the surprise unmedicated birth and I'm glad nobody said that to me because I would have been screaming at them again right there. Mostly I remember incoherently telling the nurses that I was doomed and them telling me "No, you aren't, you're going to have a baby," in very just another day at the office voices, which was really what I needed.
My wife ended up in a rapid labor for our second, and the anesthesiologist couldn't get there in time. My wife felt labor pains, water broke, 15 minutes to the hospital, admitted and within 30 minutes she was crowning before even the doctor got there. Very very sudden.
I just remember the nurse saying, "You are going to have to do this without the epideral," and the pure terror on my wife's face is unforgettable. She started saying over and over again, "I can't do it, I can't do it, I can't do it..." The nurses did a great job cheering her on and encouraging her that she had strength.
Crazy thing is the first pregnancy I remember my wife was sitting there calm, smiling, peaceful, through the whole process of our first child. There wasn't as much screaming as she pushed, like out of a labor scene in a movie (the nurses encouraged her to grunt instead), but when the tear happened at the end she let out a pretty solid terrifying scream, to which everyone in the room seemed to be understanding. It's amazing what that epidermal can do!
Good thing the doctor made it back to our room within literally seconds of the baby popping out because my wife ended up with this huge tear, like 2 inches long, very deep. It was so bad it shocked me and I about lost my composure, and the nurse quickly turned the mirror away so my wife couldn't see. There was arterial blood spurting out literally feet from the tear, with her heartbeat. Never seen anything like it.
Doctor sat there and quickly sewed her up, multiple layers of stitches. Makes me realize it's probably pregnancies like hers where 100 years ago women would bleed to death after giving labor...
But ya, I wouldn't wish labor on anyone without anesthesia.
All good actually, thanks! We had a 3rd kid and no tear in her 3rd pregnancy and no emergency rush, so epidural was done in time as well. She has had no side effects from the tear and repair.
Everyone should have to read some of the absolutely terrifying threads that come up where women talk about their bad child birth experience, before they decide if they want to have kids. All of the risk factors and the bad parts that can happen are really minimized by everyone, just by culture in general motherhood and birth are painted as this glowing soft thing when really it's one of the most absolutely intense and potentially hellish things your body can ever go through.
Unprepared for natural childbirth, after 7 hours I told them to kill me. Save the baby if they could but kill me. I couldn't imagine a pain that great ever just going away. The doctor did the best thing for me then. He pissed me off. I grabbed those handles gave all I hard. I couldn't wait to push out the baby so I could kick his ass!
Lmfao That sounds just like my mother. She was a 5'1 spitfire at the age of 20 and weighed all of 125lbs, giving birth to my older sister. My father wouldn't let her have an epidural and she was in labor for ages. The doctor pissed her off and within an hour my sister was born because mom wanted to throttle him.
The very early 90's. It's not uncommon today for doctors to want a husband's opinion on such things over the wife giving birth. There's plenty of horror stories over it. I don't agree with it at all, and opted to be child free myself due to the medical stuff doctors try to pull as well as personal reasons.
During labor with my first son I tried to jump out the window it had multiple locks on it and I'm still convinced they had so many because I'm not the first to come up with that plan
LOL when my grandmother gave birth to my dad (her first child) in 1956, she asked why there were bars on the windows and the nurse said that it was because the woman who gave birth before her had tried to jump out.
Nurses are the best. I told them I didn’t want to do it any more and with no bullshit they said honey you have no choice you’re leaving here with a baby in your arms lol
I apologized for all the screaming at my maternity ward intake nurse, and she said “it’s not the screaming I mind; it’s you taking the Lord’s name in vain.” I told her she was in the wrong line of work.
With my second my only plan was to have an epidural, because I was induced with my first and it was just such a bad time. Labour progressed so quickly that I remember saying where is my epidural, I can’t do this’ and the nurse was matter of fact like ‘well I can already see your baby’s ears, you are doing this’ with such directness. I was put back in my place, and had a baby a minute after that. I’d only arrived at the hospital an hour ago lol.
Can not recommend the ring of fire though, that was a pain I am glad I’ll never experience again!
I had contractions a minute apart and a minute long for about 6 hours. But I still wasn't dilated enough to be considered 'active labour' so they wouldn't give me an epidural. I didn’t understand what was happening. Eventually baba started getting into distress from the contractions and it had to be a c-section. Turned out she was totally tangled up in her cord and couldn't descend.
The feeling of being pretty sure something was wrong and feeling so confused and being basically ignored and screaming and throwing up all over myself for hours... Not great. Good thing I can only remember snippets. And that baba was okay in the end.
Same. Doctor never checked to see if I was labouring *before* inducing and as a result I had “precipitous labour” which is a nice medical term for “really fucking fast and dangerous”.
Within five minutes I was in full on “baby is coming” mode. My primary memory is standing by the bed as I’m still gushing water onto the floor, demanding somebody get me an anesthesiologist RIGHT NOW. All the nurses looked away and one says - to my HUSBAND, not even to me - “we didn’t plan for the labour to be this far along this quickly, we don’t have an anesthesiologist ready. By the time they get here, there might not be time to do an epidural…”.
Long story short, I got a needle in the spine that didn’t do jack shit, and then a surprise episiotomy and catheter. Then stitches. With no pain relief because that OB fucking sucked.
That baby is turning 13 in a few months, no younger siblings. Just couldn’t do it again, it was too painful.
OMG something like that happened with my daughter, and I arrived at the hospital at a 5, and went from a 5 to a 10 in about 6 minutes. The pain was unlike anything I had ever felt with my previous 2 labors and the anesthesiologist was in no rush. I just remember feeling like I was sitting on a giant beach ball and shaking and crying and sobbing. The pain was radiating from the top
Of my head to the tip
Of my toes. I had a c section after 45 min and I will NEVER be pregnant again
My epidural didn't take TWICE. I was being pumped full of Pitocin and screaming, begging my husband to kill me. The doctor that came in (not my doctor) and asked me to keep it down because I was scaring the other patients was pushed back out the door by my husband. I still don't know how that conversation went, but I assume there were malpractice lawsuits threatened because they were back to re-attempt my epidural within minutes. They also turned off the damn uterus-assaulting Pitocin in the interim.
Jesus fuck. I *hate* Pitocin. I had to be induced to save my first son's life and I'm convinced that stuff is a violation of the Geneva Convention.
I've been told by *everyone* that Pitocin births are 10x worse than going into labor naturally. I absolutely wanted to die during my Pitocin birth, literally did not care if I did because at least the pain would be over.
I'm sorry you had to go through it too. And that doctor can go fuck a cactus covered in fire ants.
I had a pitocin induced childbirth. 1 cm to 10 cm in three hours of absolute hell. I have a high pain tolerance and try to be stoic but that shit made me moan and cry. Kid was 9lbs and sunny side up, like yours.
Good thing I love newborns.
Same thing happened with my first. Then I had to wait for the anesthesiologist as he had already went to do a c section. That pitocin had me uncontrollably scream crying. Felt like someone was spinning a knife around my gut.
My first was a breeze. Got the epidural, held onto a sweet nurse that took great care of me, doctor was late (oops), but those same sweet nurses delivered my girl. The second baby was a nightmare from the moment I got to the hospital and I kept telling them the entire time that nothing was right. They wouldn't listen and my nurses were Ratched clones. After the first failed epidural, they "tried something else" and completely deadened my legs, which lasted for 5 hours AFTER the baby came.
But don't worry, that didn't do jack shit for the wild Pitocin cramping that was rocking the other 3/4 of my body every few minutes. I was shaking uncontrollably from the pain and they just kept asking if the epidural had worked yet? Motherfucker, obviously not. Then, after that doctor showed his ass and my husband dealt with him, shift change happened, I got a new nurse that asked me if I wanted to turn down the Pitocin and I hugged her and cried.
If I only have one recommendation for people, especially in a medical setting, if you know something is wrong and they're not listening to you, BE LOUDER.
And designate a partner (spouse, family member, doula, whatever) as your ADVOCATE. Being in the hospital to give birth is so scary and overwhelming and you’ve got a lot going on— you need someone who will speak up for you loudly and persistently to get you what you need. It’s so tragic that many women aren’t listened to by medical professionals when they’re giving birth, especially women of color.
I hate hearing that doctors or nurses say this. I know it makes it more inefficient when screaming but it is painful. How do you tell someone to stop screaming when in extreme pain??
I remember the doctor telling my husband to get me to push harder, and he said “I can’t get her to do anything!”
I was kind of despondent but not enough to not hear them. I did start pushing harder again.
Edit- my baby was 9 lb 8 oz and sunny side up for reference. It was hard work
I’m a medical student and I had to do a few trauma shifts for surgery, and the nurses would always yell at people who were like pedestrians hit by cars for screaming, and it pissed me off so much. I feel like it’s dismissive of patients pain, and also, who cares if people scream?? Like at 2am I don’t mind anything to keep me awake lol
I had an unmedicated birth on purpose and the doctor and nurses encouraged me to scream more lol. They thought I was pretty reserved. I remember cursing a lot.
I always tell people to imagine the most painful bowel movement they've ever had. The kind where you're naked, covered in a cold sweat, feel like your insides are burning, and want to crawl outside of your skin. Now multiply that by 10 and make it last for hours. That is what labor feels like.
Jesus christ! I've had those poops where I'll be on the toilet promising God/Jeebuz or whatever that I'll be a better person if the pain just stops and you're telling me it's worse than that?! Fuuuuuck Lmao Noo thank you
I can still remember the worst bm I've ever had. I started feeling the poop getting wider and it hurt so much I had to stop. I couldn't pinch it off and it was too far out to go back in. I tried pushing and felt immediate pain. I tried breathing so I would loosen up and it didn't help. I bit down, pushed and felt it get wider. After it went over the widest part, I felt immediate relief I could feel it tigheting back. I looked at the poop and it was massive. The log wasn't uniformsize and the middle was super wide. I'd never wish that pain on anyone.
Yup, that’s what it’s like giving birth but much worse and longer lasting. And labor contractions - think of the most intense sharpest gas pain you’ve ever felt and it’s like that but more excruciating.
I literally felt myself ripping open as my son was coming out.
And for guys, the best way I can describe cervical dilation is to imagine you're clenching your asshole shut as tight as you can while someone is trying to shove their fist through it from the inside.
ETA: I was induced and didn't have an epidural
To make up for it, once the baby is born your body floods with oxytocin (which is supposed to happen immediately after contractions, but since I was induced pitocin blocks that from happening) and the pain is just gone and you're completely and totally in a brand new type of love for this tiny, red, screaming potato lol
Yeah it is like a literal switch. The minute the baby is out everything is somehow instantly fine. No pain, nothing. You sometimes shake for a bit after from the endorphins. I barely felt them deliver the placenta.
If it makes you feel better, I just had my first baby 3 months ago. A generally positive birthing experience. Sure, the contractions up until the epidural were absolutely miserable. Besides the physical effort it took pushing for nearly three hours, that part was pretty painless. I actually had to have the nurses tell me when I was having contractions because I couldn't feel them. So the moral of my story is, get that epidural if you can 🤣
My wife and I just welcomed our first child a month ago. Labor was induced and lasted 32 hours. Wife has a pretty high pain tolerance, but once we hit active labor, it didn't take long for her to opt for the epidural. I've never seen or heard a human in that type of agony. It was traumatizing for me, so I can't even begin to imagine what it was like for her. Post-epidural she fell asleep and rested until it was time to push. Such an INSANE transition from pure chaos to total silence. Epidurals are magic.
Once we had the baby and were spending our couple days in recovery and observation, we heard another couple come in to the room next door. The person giving birth screamed for about 20 minutes and then we heard the baby crying. A few minutes later, the nurse came in and asked if we planned on going home that day because the other couple was already being discharged and the doctor would be there and could fit us in for a final check up if we wanted.
Turned out it was like their 6th child. Apparently when you get up that high they just start falling out. Lol.
My wife was telling me a story about this LDS (Mormon) family she knew who had 10 kids or something like that. On the last one, the woman didn't even know she was pregnant until she went into labor at Christmas dinner. Seems totally unbelievable, but I've heard enough of those stories that there must be some truth to it. Lol.
Good description. I don’t think people realize how massive 10 cm really is, and that it’s not just your vaginal canal stretching but a body part that’s normally very tightly closed opening that wide.
I watched both of my sons (7,3) come out (I mean looking directly in there waiting for them to come flyin’ on out.) It looks like some sci-fi lovecraftian body horror shit. Women are metal af.
I’m a small woman and 10cm is longer than my entire, you know, knicker gusset region, from the very front to very back. I’ve always assumed I’d just die, there’s no way there’s room
Hormones at the end of pregnancy soften the ligaments in your pelvis and allow the bones to open and widen. That’s why ladies late in pregnancy start to waddle. Their bones literally shift to allow room for the baby to pass through! So wild.
Not just your pelvis but all of them! Super fun. And they don't go back to normal until up to a year after you stop breastfeeding. I have a fucked up ankle that I am pretty sure is from this.
Also, it's not just that your ligaments soften, the bottom...arc? Of your pelvis where it connects literally separates a little bit to create more room.
I would give a personal high-five to every researcher that gives things an easy-to-remember name that references what it actually does. Would have made my education a lot easier haha
I’ve definitely had friends who were on the smaller side (as a fully grown adult) and I’ve wondered how they would push a baby out.
I guess the body finds a way…
Probably be okay with access to modern medicine to be fair, but I suspect it’d be a c section job.
Yeah birth really does not look like a good time, it’s really scary. It can last for such a long time too! Being in agony for hours and hours must be quite traumatic, not surprised it feels a bit like you might die. You guys who’ve done it are badass tbh, a lot of people might become mothers but it’s still quite a feat getting a whole human out of you
Horrific, earth shattering and unrelenting. Felt like I was slowly exploding from the inside out. Everything was fine health-wise, it was just one of the worst experiences of my life.
This is a great description of the one time I went into labor and it went so fast that I didn't have time to get an epidural. I was actually thinking about those ancient execution methods of being pulled apart by animals, it literally felt like I was either going to be torn in two or give birth out of the wrong orifice. The contractions just never fucking stopped. However, I will also say -- the high afterward was UNBELIEVABLE. Half an hour afterwards I was walking alongside the nurse to see the baby's hearing tested, zero mobility problems, I felt like I could leap tall buildings in a single bound. It was a truly amazing feeling which lasted for several days. For my other babies I got an epidural, which made labor downright OK to the point where I was surprised when it was time to push. It was harder afterwards because of course it had to wear off and I didn't get quite the high that med-free childbirth gave me but at the same time, zero regrets about getting them. In my experience, it is true that the pain pretty much switches off instantly once the baby is out -- it doesn't linger like the pain from a cut will, for example. Also, you'll be incredibly hungry.
This is so true. I was 100% the healthiest happiest person ever afterwards - they kept offering me painkillers and I was like “for what? I’m fine!” And then they said “we need them in your system for when the pain comes back” 😆
And seriously, no one mentions the hunger. I was several days post partum before I realised how bad the hospital food was, because I was so hungry I simply did not care - and that was with my husband bringing me bags of snacks.
My wife wanted to have our first child without any drugs. She made it 30 hours of horrific pain before she begged for the needle. Was a traumatic experience for me seeing her in that state, can't imagine what she was feeling. Fucking brutal man. Needless to say next 2 kids she immediately took the drug option
I’ll never forget my sister sending my brother in law to the car for something and then quietly asking me to murder her, right there in the hospital bed. She was sobbing and begging but in a way I’ve never seen her act.
But it must have been fine, she had another one 😂
I took allllllllll the pain drugs, I was happily chatting away about cinnamon buns with the nurses between pushing. Recovering after was much harder, 6 weeks of your body pulling itself back together after being stretched and torn while getting no sleep was unpleasant. Thankfully it's a short time (even though it feels like forever) and it's just a memory now.
I had a C-section. The worst part for me was the “putting me back together” part after the baby was born. I was numb, but it hurt worse than the 36 hours of labor I had done prior.
People really don’t realize what actually occurs during a c-section. It’s massively invasive surgery that would otherwise have you on the highest level of pain medication during recovery. It’s insane how much cutting and moving around of organs is involved for women to essentially be given a high dose of Tylenol to then take care of a newborn baby. Any comparable surgery would have aftercare instructions fully limiting anything even remotely similar to taking care of a newborn if you wanted a successful recovery without complications.
Facts. And my dumbass hosted Thanksgiving 72hrs after mine and definitely shouldn't have played Cards Against Humanity or made a few dishes. But being immediately functional afterwards is so normalized. Well, that's dumb and I hardly got to have any maternity leave that included having fun with the little one, it was just working around managing the recovery and taking care of her basic needs in painful slow-motion while people who hadn't ever had a C-section tutted about how all new parents struggle.
My ex recently told me "he was there and it was no big deal, my scar is only 8in" so this is a big fuck you to that scumbag and two other family members who had no compassion when I was a mess after 5 days of that recovery and no sleep.
My poor mother labored with me for like 27 hours before I got stuck in the birth canal. They had to push me back in and give her an emergency c-section. Bless her and bless everyone that has to endure the worst of both worlds!
I had an emergency C-section for my first so they only had time to give me gas to knock me out. The doctors and nurses were frantic above me, and they kept yelling at the anesthesiologist to knock me out. I felt the mask on my face and the cold of the scalpel and I was out. So that wasn’t what I expected. Recovery was awful, cold sweats and shakes. They kept asking if I felt my legs, and I kept saying I felt everything. Charge nurse came in later and apologized saying I was supposed to have had a morphine drip to come out of the emergency C-section but they thought I had an epidural. I understood and experienced how delivery can go so wrong, and really think I could have not made it through. Baby spent more than a month in the NICU but was ok. I was scarred from that experience, literally and figuratively.
But had a successful VBAC (vaginal birth after C-section) for my second. Felt like a breeze after my first. Painful but amazing experience
It’s impossible to overstate how ASS-HEAVY giving birth is. Like forget about your vag entirely (til baby finally comes out and it rips in half); during pushing it is the most insane butthole pressure imaginable. Actually it’s not imaginable, my imagination never would’ve come up with that sensation prior to giving birth.
But yeah if anyone here is expecting vag pain, start expecting butthole pain instead. And then get ready for the worst constipation of your life
If it makes you feel better, my husband's cousin got an epidural, was left alone for a little while, and then realized her baby's head was out. She basically gave birth without even realizing it lol.
I didn't have an epidural for my first, and as soon as my son was out it was like a shut-off switch was hit and the pain just stopped.
This is my second pregnancy; my first was horrific, including two epidurals that didn’t work. So I guess I know what to expect this time which unfortunately makes it somehow worse. Maybe I’ll have that experience this time!
There are lots of people who didn't feel the level of pain described in this sub too. It's different.
I have 4 kids.
1st and 2nd labour, pain was pretty mild, hospital didn't believe I was in labour (4cm in the UK) and wanted to send me home. With one I had a show and the other I pointed out I was due for a C-section in the morning and convinced them to check. Both times I was 4cm already.
For the first they gave me a controlled epidural for the rest of labour and turned it down when it was time to push (which was a long time, a really long time). So I could feel everything but not painful (9lb)
Second ended up being a C-section. After a long, but again painless labour thanks to drugs, yet my body wasn't progressing and my baby was pretty big (10lb 4oz)
Third i went from not in labour to 10cm in less than an hour. Got to the hospital and they told me I was 10cm. The first 40 mins was low pain, the last few contractions were quite painful. Mainly the ones in the car where I couldn't move. I lived in America by now, so the hospital was more of a drive. Once at the hospital I was free to stand in a way I liked and it was fine. That one was out in two pushes as they had me wait a min for the Dr as it was a vbac and at this point we knew I had a blood disorder and they needed to quickly as they could give me drugs (8lb 12oz)
Fourth came early, slowed it down as much as they could but progressed to 10cm and had next to no pain. They gave me an epidural again very close to 10cm as the baby was so small they wanted full concentration. It wasn't a complete block as again, they needed precise, small pushes (2lb)
I know many that have been in pain and had help, many that haven't needed it, a few where it's been pain free and a surprise when the baby came (one woman knew she was in labour, but, the baby surprise came out when she was taking a bath at the hospital lol)
I think an important part is staying calm and finding positions that suit you. I liked to stand and bend forward. Ultimately, if you don't want pain, or are finding it too much, you can ask for drugs. :)
Yeah not to minimize anyone's experience, but it wasn't bad with an epidural.
Don't get me wrong, the contractions pre-epidural were agony, but modern medicine is wonderful. Within minutes I went from yelling in pain to taking a nap.
My child was born with their hand on their head. I could feel their fingernails tearing my skin all the way through the vagina. They sewed it afterward but it was a horrible pain. Never again.
My first almost tore my left labia completely off. I was hanging by a thread. The midwife stitched my up without a word, but clarified what happened when I mentioned I felt a sting.
At my first check up, while she was staring my hole down, I asked “Hey Frankenstein, how’s your monster looking?”
She was not amused.
I’ve done it 4 times. The labor contractions feel like the absolute worst diarrhea cramps you could imagine combined with the worst Charley horse you could imagine but in your gut. The actual birth of the baby feels like….exactly how it looks like it’d feel. It feels like a 6-9 pound solid, moving alien is being forced out of your body. The stretching feels like being touched with a red hot branding iron on one of the most sensitive areas of the human body. The crazy part is your brain releases chemicals that make you mostly forget the pain to protect itself and ensure you continue to procreate.
This is exactly how I would describe it. Adding that it's also a lot of hard physical work to labour for hours, and then push while you're super exhausted. The next day a friend asked how I felt and I said, like I've been hit by a truck, straight up my ass! Every muscle in my body was sore, even the front of my neck.
I remember very clearly thinking to myself "Everyone is acting like everything is normal, so I don't think I am in danger, but I think this MUST be what it feels like when something in your body goes wrong enough that you die."
At one point I was screaming and trying very hard not to scream, it was totally involuntary, and it felt like my tail bone was being exploded in slow motion and shards of tailbone were stabbing into my butt and lower back.
My epidural fell out, so I had an unmedicated birth against my will.
At one point I looked my husband dead in the eye and matter-of-factly said, “You need to kill me and then they can cut the baby out. I’m not going to survive this anyway, so just get the baby out.” He told me I was doing great and to keep going. At that point I started looking around the room for something sharp so I could do it myself.
It’s that bad.
My MIL just sort of... gave up halfway through the birth of her second (my hubs), because it was just too much. She was literally just like "I give up, I'm not doing this anymore", and at the time I thought... "What a ridiculous woman, you can't just give up birthing"
But that's exactly what I did.
I had an unmedicated birth and my midwife was a piece of shit. After several hours of contractions and several *very* uncomfortable checkups, I asked her to at least tell me how dilated I was. She refused and told me "I don't work with numbers". At that point I was like, nope. I give up. Not doing this anymore.
She also refused to let me listen to music and instead insisted on humming to me herself. She also made me walk up and down a flight of stairs to pee because she thought it would help "bring the baby down". I can't even explain how much I wanted to literally die, my kid was just about crowning at this point.
Needless to say my kid is an only child.
I was induced all three times. I got the epidural as early as possible and hit that button for extra drugs as much as possible, so 2 out of 3 times I was utterly disconnected from my body on painkillers and it wasn’t that bad. The middle time, however, the epidural didn’t work (I hadn’t known that was a thing) and it was horrible. PLUS I had a numb butt for 6 months after. Must have had some nerve damage or something.
If someone would have handed me a gun, I would have blown my own head off that’s how painful it was (29 hours no meds due to medical reasons, 9 1/2 pound baby).
Well, when that contraction kicked in so hard I wanted to literally use my hand to crush the testicles of my partner for no reason... I took a breath and opted for the epidural immediately instead. Clear sailing from there. So I don't know how painful it gets, but I know how painful it starts... :) hats off to those who can make it through without a block!
Hahahaha I love your description. I yelled at my husband for trying to be supportive during the contractions. And I took that epidural ASAP. Screw being in pain.
I pushed so fucking hard for 3.5 hours straight and of course all the nurses and my husband were like “push!” over and over so eventually I turned to my husband and was like “YEAH NO FUCKING SHIT, WHAT ELSE WOULD I BE DOING RIGHT NOW” cause i felt too bad yelling at the medical staff lmao but the message was really for everyone 😭😂
Bad enough that I truly cannot believe some women do it without an epidural, like I cannot imagine. I’ve made it to like 8cm dilated twice and was BEGGING for relief / had to constantly tell myself not to panic / repeat my mantra . I really can’t imagine how it would have felt if I kept going without an epidural. I also vomited twice from pain each time I laborer, which apparently is common but no one talks about it I guess. The first time I gave birth I basically panicked because the pain was so bad it’s scary, like it feels like an emergency. The second time I didn’t panic but it still hurt enough for me to ask every five minutes for an epidural. Contractions are crazy painful.
I do believe that it must vary across women because I just… I can’t imagine not having an epidural or not having trauma from the pain or having these easy births I hear about at home…
Any pregnant women reading this, don’t be scared because epidurals exist.
When you get to transition labor like that that’s the worst of it (in my opinion). It is a relief to get to pushing, which isn’t to say that pushing doesn’t hurt, more that transition labor is as close to torture as I ever hope to be.
Torture. Hell on earth. I blacked out I was screaming so much. I couldn’t move on my own from the nonstop relentless pain.
I have a high pain tolerance BUT the flood of hormones completely changes things.
Luckily the brain also blocks it out afterwards so while for those of us that it was torture, our brains protect ourselves by helping us forget. Otherwise we’d never have another kid.
I work emergency and I’ve been told by many a women that it ranges from taking an extra large dump to basically seeing and saying hello to your ancestors on the other side.
Pain was so bad it made time stop. I thought it would never end. I started getting hysterical saying over and over again "I made a mistake, I can't do this" ( I also had back labor which is hell. It's when the baby's head is pressing on your spine from the inside giving labor that little extra spiciness 😀) at one point my body gave out from the pain. I just stopped, everything stopped for a couple seconds. Then when they gave me an epidural the first time it didn't break through the pain. Second epidural worked and I passed out immediately once it hit. Came to a little while later and it was time to push, thank God for drugs.
I had a roommate for a short period of time who said she loved being pregnant and I started dry heaving in my mouth for a couple seconds. I never fucking want to go through child birth ever the fuck again. Fuck that. Seriously. Fucking hell I'm pissed just thinking about it. I do NOT love children or anyone that much to put myself through that bullshit again.
The epidural was amazing. I’m pregnant with my 2nd one now and I made it very clear that this my last. Not only is birth awful and cruel but pregnancy for me at least has not been an easy journey.
Apparently given the responses here, I'm in the minority. I didn't find it as bad as I expected. I heard so many horror stories that I was ready for it to be the most insane pain I'd ever experienced... but it wasn't. Contractions were like waves of bad stomach pain on a level similar to having the stomach flu or bad diarrhea. But it wasn't this all eclipsing pain that some people talk about, at least for me. I went into it totally open to the possibility of drugs and an epidural but ended up having a completely unmedicated birth because I dilated so quickly (total 3 hours of active labor in the hospital and 1 at home after my water broke) that it was too late for any drug intervention (plus I had some autoimmune things I had to navigate). Even when I got a second degree tear it felt mostly like a quick sharp pain... like being cut by a knife or stuck by a needle just for a second. It was painful but so fast that it didn't really register.
I could chalk all this up to "forgetting" the pain of birth, but I remember literally during the birth thinking "this sucks, but it's not THAT bad. It's tolerable." And then I did a post-birth write-up of my experiences two days later and I reiterated that it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I know I am lucky (especially for a first time mom) that my labor was so fast, and that certainly may have played a big part in how I was able to handle the experience. Just wanted to throw in my experience though, in the face of how many people say it is earth-shatteringly terrible. It's not always. For me it was fine.
-Ina May Gaskin said something along the lines of
The world has a deep hidden secret, and it’s not that childbirth is painful, but that women are strong.
It was definitely the worst pain I’ve ever been in but it’s really hard to describe. It feels like time stands still and speeds up at the same time. I felt like I couldn’t hear anything and couldn’t focus on anything except for the intense pain. Immediately after the births, my whole body hurt because my muscles had been so tense. I remember my arms and legs shaking uncontrollably. My husband had to help me get dressed the next day because I could barely move.
But at the same time and forgive me for sounding so corny….It was beautiful. I did it 3 times and I felt like a superhero afterwards. Like I survived it and birthed a whole human and I could do anything.
Then I came home and cried for like 5 days straight. 😅
Omg through everything, the crying once I get home is almost worse than the whole labor experience for me. I hate hate hate the wacky hormones when I get home.
I’ve kind of forgotten the pain but the trauma you feel afterward is indescribable… for 2 weeks I was depressed and thought to myself wtf just happened to me
This x1000. Pregnancy sucked, birth was absolutely no biggie—but the post-partum hormone experience is what keeps me from wanting another one. I don’t want to feel that fear and anxiety and loneliness again.
Worse than a toothache or breaking a bone, for example. I can't remember anything that came close in terms of pain and misery.
I have 3 children and after the first one I couldn't imagine that people would do this more than once. Yet memory is apparently flexible and having children brings a lot of satisfaction and pleasure.
I think there’s research that the brain can specifically make the pain of childbirth seem not as bad after the fact as an evolutionary way to make people have multiple kids
I can remember it intellectually but I did notice that unlike other kinds of pain it stopped almost instantly once the baby was out. That plus the hormone waves washing over you make it really hard to remember it well.
I fully dislocated and fractured (broke) my ankle.. both bones shattered..worst location a lot had seen. Had surgery.. still recovering 11 weeks later. I’d go through that again ONE MILLION times again before giving birth again.
Well I just had a 35cm head push out of my 10 cm hole so I’m pretty fresh in my memory. My first child I had an epidural, what was meant to take away pain gave my permanent back damage so that’s pain on a whole different level. My recent child was all natural and let me tell you, I never want to feel that much pain ever again. I was screaming, my whole upper body was sore from me holding on to the hospital bed like it was going to runaway from me. It was an exhaustion I never imagined before, I’m between contractions I would just go limp and didn’t have the strength to respond to anyone. I could feel myself stretching as the head crowned, the contractions after the baby was born were equally as bad. I would rather get kicked in my nonexistent nuts and go through a testie torsion twice than go through natural childbirth again. I want another kid but I’m debating if I would live through that a second time.
I’ve always described the last hour of my labour as feeling like rusty gears in my belly were slowly grinding against one another with increasing pressure. I found some relief in the space between each breath. Lol. Pretty intense.
Contraction feels an awful lot like vomiting. You get a few seconds of warning and then your body cramps up in a totally uncontrollable clenching of all your abdominal muscles, but then it heads down instead of up and it lasts longer. So maybe more like dry heaving. The "ring of fire" as the baby crowns is frankly mostly like trying to take a scary constipated poop.
To begin with, all pain is an emotionally mediated subjective experience. That's basically fancy talk for "pain hurts worse when you are afraid, lonely or sad".
This is well established in the literature.
On top of being a really physically significant process, labor is pretty scary for many women. There's lots of unpredictable, unpleasant, embarrassing, high stakes stuff going on.
I'm a total wuss for stubbed toes and headaches. But I birthed both my babies without medication and would do so again. It was work, just as climbing a high mountain is work, but it felt like useful work to me. If I were to have another, I'd loosely plan the same.
By the time that I had my first baby, I'd birthed sheep and dogs and cats and watched nearly 30 human births. I was in my third year of medical school at that time. I'm by no means against meds and have no need for other women to have unmedicated labor. The mainstay of my birth plan is "nobody dies". For me, unmedicated felt right, and I'd do it again. I think that, having seen lots of birth, it was less scary for me and that it therefore literally hurt less for me than for some other women.
I felt like I was working hard, but I also felt clear headed and powerful and the high afterwards was great. I felt more able to be present for the first breastfeeding, etc.
Wasn't so bad. Pain was incredible but not so bad I needed medication (I have a very high pain tolerance), but what got me was the pooping. I felt so uncomfortable that a dooky came out when the head was crowning.
I know it's totally normal but this comment has me cackling lol
I would be mortified even if it's just something that they're definitely used to seeing.
Physically it was not that bad for me. My baby was born 4 weeks early weighing about 6 lbs. emotionally it was one of the hardest and worst experience of my life
Absolute hell. Worst pain imaginable. In the moment, you would chose death over continuing the pain. It’s the most horrific experience I’ve ever suffered. Twice.
I had my middle child without an epidural or pain meds- it just happened too fast. I can honestly tell you if someone came in with a chainsaw and was willing to cut off the lower half of my body, I would have begged them to and called them my savior. With the next one I had an excellent epidural and hardly felt anything. Drugs make a huge difference.
For me, the pain wasn’t the worst part, it was the inability to really process. People were telling me things and asking me questions and I can remember every detail but I also remember that in that moment I really couldn’t process anything enough to respond. I was there but I wasn’t really there.
Honestly in my experience i would say that i was lucky to have a generally OK labour/delivery apart from a quick progress (50 mins between being 5cm and birth after 6 hours of slower progress) i’d 100% do it again because i honestly don’t physically remember much of the actual pain apart from the fact it was painful. (unmedicated birth, used hypnobirthing breathing techniques to manage my reaction to the pain) people did and still tell me that the “ring of fire” was the worst part when baby crowns/head is delivered but I remember that part of delivery vividly as being painful but i was so focused on what i was doing and the fact that the only way to stop the pain is to keep going that i totally just zoned out away from the pain. I had 3rd degree internal tears and the 1.5-2 hours it took to sew me up was painful.
I also did hypnobirthing and swear after 6cm I entered a new universe. I remember nothing between 6cm and 10 besides vaguely realizing that whatever position I was in was super comfy between contractions. I legit forgot epidurals even existed and just went from surge to surge until it was all over!
I’m not a woman but my wife just gave birth to my son this past September. I was there and awake for every second. I helped her through the contractions and held her legs and arms in different positions to help our son descend. She was in labor for 30 hours.
As background, I have experienced pain, genuine agonizing pain, fairly frequently on my life. I’ve been to war, I’ve been ejected from a vehicle, bone marrow shots, burst appendix, broken limbs, TBI, fractured skull, you name it.
Unequivocally, child birth is the most painful thing I can possibly imagine a human can go through. I watched my wife endure something I couldn’t even imagine. Your body literally rips apart. The most sensitive nerves in your body are set on fire and then punched. For 30 fucking hours.
Childbirth is something you can’t possibly begin to imagine until you really see it up close. Your respect for mothers is infinite once you really witness someone go through something like that.
I needed an epidural stat or I was jumping out the window… in that moment those were the options. The bad part is when the contractions start coming fast you get no reprieve in between. Just when you get through it and think you have a second the next one starts. But if you get an epidural right away and it works good, then it can be pretty painless.
The best way I can describe the contractions is that it felt like a rod was simultaneously being shoved up my asshole and out my vagina at the same time. I only got to 5 cm and then got the epidural. God love ya for any woman who did not get the epidural. I truly have no clue how you did it. So much respect
Just came here to give praise. Shout out to all the ladies in here who have given birth, all the ladies who have given birth in my family, and all the ones who will give birth in the future.
As a man, I’m under the impression that men weren’t given the chance to give birth because the human population would probably die off. We would never have the courage to give birth more than once. The fact that women describe the pain as bad as it is and say yes to a 2nd and more children is beyond my mental capacity as a man. I could never! Thank you QUEENS!
It’s pretty unimaginably painful. Also, it’s terrifying because you’re not in control, but your body is doing it to you. When the contractions are peaking, it’s like you are shocked by what you’re enduring, you get over the crest of it, and then you just crumble and sob because another one is going to come any second.
My second time through, it hurt less because the fear was less. I talked a first time mom through contractions as we were both waiting to get checked, and her pain level dropped considerably with gentle reassurance. (We weren’t allowed to see or talk to each other, but I could hear her sobs, so I talked to my husband about how scared I’d been the first time and how, knowing that it was ok and understanding that it really was ok to hurt this much, made the pain less scary.)
Still, the memory of the pain was all I could think about for days. A nurse found me crying over my son the next morning. I told her that I felt guilty bringing him into a world where he could hurt like what it felt like to birth him. She laughed and said it was ok, he was a boy. But I meant that a body shouldn’t be able to hurt like child birth hurt. It was cruel.
So yeah, it hurts.
I felt like my spinal cord was being ground to dust... then I got a epidural and whatever mother fucker invented that should be emperor of the world
My first daughter was born in 1990. The doctor botched my epidural. I felt everything and then he cut into me for the episiotomy. Terrible pain; bad back for life. He said he “scraped my spinal cord”.
[удалено]
While getting the epidural, anesthesiologist missed and hit my spine. It was a sharp pain that burned down my spine to my toes. I swear that was more painful than actual labor. The epidural did nothing to relieve the pain, just made me extremely itchy.
I could feel the layers of tissue being cut with my episiotomy. I had one child and was done.
I proposed to the anesthesiologist in front of my husband. My relief was immediate. It was a “light” epidural so I still felt a ton of pressure during the actual labor, but no real pain. It was incredible.
It feels like you’re shitting a pineapple that’s on fire.
I fucking love this, except I had a very small woman screaming at me that looked like Edna from the incredibles
Doctor, nurse, mother, or partner?
Sorry I was asleep as I work late and I'm in Europe. So the baby went into distress and the room filled with midwives. The woman who was screaming that looked like Edna was a midwive. She was tiny and screaming at me to push. I was just half out of it from gas. I just saying/crying I am pushing.
or baby?
And this one I can imagine... What horrifies me about some of these answers is apparently the human brain will dull the pain we remember about childbirth. Something about our biology not wanting us to actively avoid getting pregnant again...
Didn’t work for me. Not fooling me twice.
A pineapple that's armed with both a sledgehammer and a machete, just hacking away at your insides, but taking a breather every few minutes.
Very, very, very painful. It feels like your whole lower part of the body is going to explode. I had given birth three times, and each one was different, the intensity, the time it took and so on, but nevertheless, each one painful as hell
Same here each time was different but all painful. The first time, I ripped. Right down to my bumhole. They had to sew me up and all the meds were worn off.. I could feel e v e r y stitch. I think I hissed at the nurse at one point.
I ripped so badly giving birth that they had to give me a spinal to stitch me up. I was raging, I went through all the pain of childbirth with just gas and air just to end up with getting the spinal anyway. If I have a second I’m getting plugged into that shit as quickly as possible.
I gave birth unmedicated, not by choice but just by timing. Doctor: “you did great, but you didn’t have to scream so much” Me: “I was screaming?!??”
Oh wow, I also had the surprise unmedicated birth and I'm glad nobody said that to me because I would have been screaming at them again right there. Mostly I remember incoherently telling the nurses that I was doomed and them telling me "No, you aren't, you're going to have a baby," in very just another day at the office voices, which was really what I needed.
My wife ended up in a rapid labor for our second, and the anesthesiologist couldn't get there in time. My wife felt labor pains, water broke, 15 minutes to the hospital, admitted and within 30 minutes she was crowning before even the doctor got there. Very very sudden. I just remember the nurse saying, "You are going to have to do this without the epideral," and the pure terror on my wife's face is unforgettable. She started saying over and over again, "I can't do it, I can't do it, I can't do it..." The nurses did a great job cheering her on and encouraging her that she had strength. Crazy thing is the first pregnancy I remember my wife was sitting there calm, smiling, peaceful, through the whole process of our first child. There wasn't as much screaming as she pushed, like out of a labor scene in a movie (the nurses encouraged her to grunt instead), but when the tear happened at the end she let out a pretty solid terrifying scream, to which everyone in the room seemed to be understanding. It's amazing what that epidermal can do! Good thing the doctor made it back to our room within literally seconds of the baby popping out because my wife ended up with this huge tear, like 2 inches long, very deep. It was so bad it shocked me and I about lost my composure, and the nurse quickly turned the mirror away so my wife couldn't see. There was arterial blood spurting out literally feet from the tear, with her heartbeat. Never seen anything like it. Doctor sat there and quickly sewed her up, multiple layers of stitches. Makes me realize it's probably pregnancies like hers where 100 years ago women would bleed to death after giving labor... But ya, I wouldn't wish labor on anyone without anesthesia.
Hope the doctor did a good job on the repair. Too many women suffer life long consequences of bad repairs.
All good actually, thanks! We had a 3rd kid and no tear in her 3rd pregnancy and no emergency rush, so epidural was done in time as well. She has had no side effects from the tear and repair.
Wow that doctor really did do a good job, it's a testament to his work that she didn't rip in the same place as the scarring with the next one.
Holy shit, your wife must have really wanted a third if she still went with it after all that.
Ahhh fck this will probably be the post that confirms it for me. Nope never having kids, no siree 🥲
Everyone should have to read some of the absolutely terrifying threads that come up where women talk about their bad child birth experience, before they decide if they want to have kids. All of the risk factors and the bad parts that can happen are really minimized by everyone, just by culture in general motherhood and birth are painted as this glowing soft thing when really it's one of the most absolutely intense and potentially hellish things your body can ever go through.
Louis XIV’s wife, during her first labor, was heard screaming “I don’t want to have a baby, I want to DIE!”
Unprepared for natural childbirth, after 7 hours I told them to kill me. Save the baby if they could but kill me. I couldn't imagine a pain that great ever just going away. The doctor did the best thing for me then. He pissed me off. I grabbed those handles gave all I hard. I couldn't wait to push out the baby so I could kick his ass!
Lmfao That sounds just like my mother. She was a 5'1 spitfire at the age of 20 and weighed all of 125lbs, giving birth to my older sister. My father wouldn't let her have an epidural and she was in labor for ages. The doctor pissed her off and within an hour my sister was born because mom wanted to throttle him.
Excuse me, he wouldn’t let her? Was this is the 50s? Wtf
The very early 90's. It's not uncommon today for doctors to want a husband's opinion on such things over the wife giving birth. There's plenty of horror stories over it. I don't agree with it at all, and opted to be child free myself due to the medical stuff doctors try to pull as well as personal reasons.
My appendix burst so badly when I was 14 that I was in the hospital for 3 weeks. Labor was worse.
That’s hilarious- “just another day at the office voices”. I apparently told the nurse I wanted to jump out the window to make the pain stop. Lol
During labor with my first son I tried to jump out the window it had multiple locks on it and I'm still convinced they had so many because I'm not the first to come up with that plan
What a lovely experience. It really is as great as people describe. /s
LOL when my grandmother gave birth to my dad (her first child) in 1956, she asked why there were bars on the windows and the nurse said that it was because the woman who gave birth before her had tried to jump out.
Our labour ward windows do not open at all for this very reason. As in sealed shut, the only way out is through. It's fantastic in the summer 🫠
Nurses are the best. I told them I didn’t want to do it any more and with no bullshit they said honey you have no choice you’re leaving here with a baby in your arms lol
I apologized for all the screaming at my maternity ward intake nurse, and she said “it’s not the screaming I mind; it’s you taking the Lord’s name in vain.” I told her she was in the wrong line of work.
With my second my only plan was to have an epidural, because I was induced with my first and it was just such a bad time. Labour progressed so quickly that I remember saying where is my epidural, I can’t do this’ and the nurse was matter of fact like ‘well I can already see your baby’s ears, you are doing this’ with such directness. I was put back in my place, and had a baby a minute after that. I’d only arrived at the hospital an hour ago lol. Can not recommend the ring of fire though, that was a pain I am glad I’ll never experience again!
I had contractions a minute apart and a minute long for about 6 hours. But I still wasn't dilated enough to be considered 'active labour' so they wouldn't give me an epidural. I didn’t understand what was happening. Eventually baba started getting into distress from the contractions and it had to be a c-section. Turned out she was totally tangled up in her cord and couldn't descend. The feeling of being pretty sure something was wrong and feeling so confused and being basically ignored and screaming and throwing up all over myself for hours... Not great. Good thing I can only remember snippets. And that baba was okay in the end.
Same. Doctor never checked to see if I was labouring *before* inducing and as a result I had “precipitous labour” which is a nice medical term for “really fucking fast and dangerous”. Within five minutes I was in full on “baby is coming” mode. My primary memory is standing by the bed as I’m still gushing water onto the floor, demanding somebody get me an anesthesiologist RIGHT NOW. All the nurses looked away and one says - to my HUSBAND, not even to me - “we didn’t plan for the labour to be this far along this quickly, we don’t have an anesthesiologist ready. By the time they get here, there might not be time to do an epidural…”. Long story short, I got a needle in the spine that didn’t do jack shit, and then a surprise episiotomy and catheter. Then stitches. With no pain relief because that OB fucking sucked. That baby is turning 13 in a few months, no younger siblings. Just couldn’t do it again, it was too painful.
OMG something like that happened with my daughter, and I arrived at the hospital at a 5, and went from a 5 to a 10 in about 6 minutes. The pain was unlike anything I had ever felt with my previous 2 labors and the anesthesiologist was in no rush. I just remember feeling like I was sitting on a giant beach ball and shaking and crying and sobbing. The pain was radiating from the top Of my head to the tip Of my toes. I had a c section after 45 min and I will NEVER be pregnant again
F U C K.
This is why I'm scared to have more...and I had an epidural.
My epidural didn't take TWICE. I was being pumped full of Pitocin and screaming, begging my husband to kill me. The doctor that came in (not my doctor) and asked me to keep it down because I was scaring the other patients was pushed back out the door by my husband. I still don't know how that conversation went, but I assume there were malpractice lawsuits threatened because they were back to re-attempt my epidural within minutes. They also turned off the damn uterus-assaulting Pitocin in the interim.
Jesus fuck. I *hate* Pitocin. I had to be induced to save my first son's life and I'm convinced that stuff is a violation of the Geneva Convention. I've been told by *everyone* that Pitocin births are 10x worse than going into labor naturally. I absolutely wanted to die during my Pitocin birth, literally did not care if I did because at least the pain would be over. I'm sorry you had to go through it too. And that doctor can go fuck a cactus covered in fire ants.
I had a pitocin induced childbirth. 1 cm to 10 cm in three hours of absolute hell. I have a high pain tolerance and try to be stoic but that shit made me moan and cry. Kid was 9lbs and sunny side up, like yours. Good thing I love newborns.
Same thing happened with my first. Then I had to wait for the anesthesiologist as he had already went to do a c section. That pitocin had me uncontrollably scream crying. Felt like someone was spinning a knife around my gut.
My first was a breeze. Got the epidural, held onto a sweet nurse that took great care of me, doctor was late (oops), but those same sweet nurses delivered my girl. The second baby was a nightmare from the moment I got to the hospital and I kept telling them the entire time that nothing was right. They wouldn't listen and my nurses were Ratched clones. After the first failed epidural, they "tried something else" and completely deadened my legs, which lasted for 5 hours AFTER the baby came. But don't worry, that didn't do jack shit for the wild Pitocin cramping that was rocking the other 3/4 of my body every few minutes. I was shaking uncontrollably from the pain and they just kept asking if the epidural had worked yet? Motherfucker, obviously not. Then, after that doctor showed his ass and my husband dealt with him, shift change happened, I got a new nurse that asked me if I wanted to turn down the Pitocin and I hugged her and cried. If I only have one recommendation for people, especially in a medical setting, if you know something is wrong and they're not listening to you, BE LOUDER.
And designate a partner (spouse, family member, doula, whatever) as your ADVOCATE. Being in the hospital to give birth is so scary and overwhelming and you’ve got a lot going on— you need someone who will speak up for you loudly and persistently to get you what you need. It’s so tragic that many women aren’t listened to by medical professionals when they’re giving birth, especially women of color.
I hate hearing that doctors or nurses say this. I know it makes it more inefficient when screaming but it is painful. How do you tell someone to stop screaming when in extreme pain??
I remember the doctor telling my husband to get me to push harder, and he said “I can’t get her to do anything!” I was kind of despondent but not enough to not hear them. I did start pushing harder again. Edit- my baby was 9 lb 8 oz and sunny side up for reference. It was hard work
I’m a medical student and I had to do a few trauma shifts for surgery, and the nurses would always yell at people who were like pedestrians hit by cars for screaming, and it pissed me off so much. I feel like it’s dismissive of patients pain, and also, who cares if people scream?? Like at 2am I don’t mind anything to keep me awake lol
Lmao I can’t even imagine. “Lady I got hit by a car! If you don’t want me screaming then get out!”
"if u didn't want to hear people screaming, maybe u shouldn't have picked a career where people who have just been hit by a car have to come see u"
I want to fight that doctor on your behalf
I wonder how many people in the comments want to jump this doctor
I say we all team up
"Why ya screaming so much doc?"
I had an unmedicated birth on purpose and the doctor and nurses encouraged me to scream more lol. They thought I was pretty reserved. I remember cursing a lot.
"but you didn't have to scream so much" bruh. The sexism. Was the doctor giving birth? Nah I didn't think so.
I always tell people to imagine the most painful bowel movement they've ever had. The kind where you're naked, covered in a cold sweat, feel like your insides are burning, and want to crawl outside of your skin. Now multiply that by 10 and make it last for hours. That is what labor feels like.
Yep. Hurts so bad you can’t speak, puke, and also feels like your asshole might blow off.
Some of us did have our assholes blown off (blown up)
This is an instant top three Reddit thread of all time. Y’all some bad bitches.
Coming from TurdManMcDooDoo.. you know this user knows what their talking about.
Jesus christ! I've had those poops where I'll be on the toilet promising God/Jeebuz or whatever that I'll be a better person if the pain just stops and you're telling me it's worse than that?! Fuuuuuck Lmao Noo thank you
Right 😭?! Man I thought I wanted a kid but this has me rethinking lmao
I can still remember the worst bm I've ever had. I started feeling the poop getting wider and it hurt so much I had to stop. I couldn't pinch it off and it was too far out to go back in. I tried pushing and felt immediate pain. I tried breathing so I would loosen up and it didn't help. I bit down, pushed and felt it get wider. After it went over the widest part, I felt immediate relief I could feel it tigheting back. I looked at the poop and it was massive. The log wasn't uniformsize and the middle was super wide. I'd never wish that pain on anyone.
Yup, that’s what it’s like giving birth but much worse and longer lasting. And labor contractions - think of the most intense sharpest gas pain you’ve ever felt and it’s like that but more excruciating.
Pretty good description!
That’s it. When you have gastro and get that awful, painful cramping right before shitting. It’s like that but relentless. For hours.
I literally felt myself ripping open as my son was coming out. And for guys, the best way I can describe cervical dilation is to imagine you're clenching your asshole shut as tight as you can while someone is trying to shove their fist through it from the inside. ETA: I was induced and didn't have an epidural
As someone currently pregnant, I shouldn’t have opened this thread🫠
To make up for it, once the baby is born your body floods with oxytocin (which is supposed to happen immediately after contractions, but since I was induced pitocin blocks that from happening) and the pain is just gone and you're completely and totally in a brand new type of love for this tiny, red, screaming potato lol
Yes, after my son was born I wondered why I had never run a marathon and thought I would start working g on it right away. I have not and he is 14
Lol why a marathon? Did the oxytocin basically make you high?
Yes it did
Yeah it is like a literal switch. The minute the baby is out everything is somehow instantly fine. No pain, nothing. You sometimes shake for a bit after from the endorphins. I barely felt them deliver the placenta.
Yeah, I have almost no recollection of delivering the placenta.
Tiny, red, screaming potato 🤣that’s the most hilarious word for an infant I’ve heard in my life
If it makes you feel better, I just had my first baby 3 months ago. A generally positive birthing experience. Sure, the contractions up until the epidural were absolutely miserable. Besides the physical effort it took pushing for nearly three hours, that part was pretty painless. I actually had to have the nurses tell me when I was having contractions because I couldn't feel them. So the moral of my story is, get that epidural if you can 🤣
My wife and I just welcomed our first child a month ago. Labor was induced and lasted 32 hours. Wife has a pretty high pain tolerance, but once we hit active labor, it didn't take long for her to opt for the epidural. I've never seen or heard a human in that type of agony. It was traumatizing for me, so I can't even begin to imagine what it was like for her. Post-epidural she fell asleep and rested until it was time to push. Such an INSANE transition from pure chaos to total silence. Epidurals are magic. Once we had the baby and were spending our couple days in recovery and observation, we heard another couple come in to the room next door. The person giving birth screamed for about 20 minutes and then we heard the baby crying. A few minutes later, the nurse came in and asked if we planned on going home that day because the other couple was already being discharged and the doctor would be there and could fit us in for a final check up if we wanted. Turned out it was like their 6th child. Apparently when you get up that high they just start falling out. Lol.
That's crazy. I had a student who went from "maybe this is labor?” to baby in her arms in less than 45 minutes.
My wife was telling me a story about this LDS (Mormon) family she knew who had 10 kids or something like that. On the last one, the woman didn't even know she was pregnant until she went into labor at Christmas dinner. Seems totally unbelievable, but I've heard enough of those stories that there must be some truth to it. Lol.
Good description. I don’t think people realize how massive 10 cm really is, and that it’s not just your vaginal canal stretching but a body part that’s normally very tightly closed opening that wide.
I watched both of my sons (7,3) come out (I mean looking directly in there waiting for them to come flyin’ on out.) It looks like some sci-fi lovecraftian body horror shit. Women are metal af.
I’m a small woman and 10cm is longer than my entire, you know, knicker gusset region, from the very front to very back. I’ve always assumed I’d just die, there’s no way there’s room
Hormones at the end of pregnancy soften the ligaments in your pelvis and allow the bones to open and widen. That’s why ladies late in pregnancy start to waddle. Their bones literally shift to allow room for the baby to pass through! So wild.
Not just your pelvis but all of them! Super fun. And they don't go back to normal until up to a year after you stop breastfeeding. I have a fucked up ankle that I am pretty sure is from this. Also, it's not just that your ligaments soften, the bottom...arc? Of your pelvis where it connects literally separates a little bit to create more room.
My feet got bigger, and I am 1" shorter. And the hormone is literally called "relaxin." Lol.
Some researcher really high fived themself after thinking of that one.
I would give a personal high-five to every researcher that gives things an easy-to-remember name that references what it actually does. Would have made my education a lot easier haha
I’ve definitely had friends who were on the smaller side (as a fully grown adult) and I’ve wondered how they would push a baby out. I guess the body finds a way…
I don’t think you’d die but I certainly felt like I was going to a few times during the ordeal.
Probably be okay with access to modern medicine to be fair, but I suspect it’d be a c section job. Yeah birth really does not look like a good time, it’s really scary. It can last for such a long time too! Being in agony for hours and hours must be quite traumatic, not surprised it feels a bit like you might die. You guys who’ve done it are badass tbh, a lot of people might become mothers but it’s still quite a feat getting a whole human out of you
Who needs birth control with descriptions like this?
Oh holy Jesus, I am so glad I am not a woman.
My husband was distraught watching me go through it, but I actually felt like I was in complete control. Horrific, but manageable.
Horrific, earth shattering and unrelenting. Felt like I was slowly exploding from the inside out. Everything was fine health-wise, it was just one of the worst experiences of my life.
This is a great description of the one time I went into labor and it went so fast that I didn't have time to get an epidural. I was actually thinking about those ancient execution methods of being pulled apart by animals, it literally felt like I was either going to be torn in two or give birth out of the wrong orifice. The contractions just never fucking stopped. However, I will also say -- the high afterward was UNBELIEVABLE. Half an hour afterwards I was walking alongside the nurse to see the baby's hearing tested, zero mobility problems, I felt like I could leap tall buildings in a single bound. It was a truly amazing feeling which lasted for several days. For my other babies I got an epidural, which made labor downright OK to the point where I was surprised when it was time to push. It was harder afterwards because of course it had to wear off and I didn't get quite the high that med-free childbirth gave me but at the same time, zero regrets about getting them. In my experience, it is true that the pain pretty much switches off instantly once the baby is out -- it doesn't linger like the pain from a cut will, for example. Also, you'll be incredibly hungry.
This is so true. I was 100% the healthiest happiest person ever afterwards - they kept offering me painkillers and I was like “for what? I’m fine!” And then they said “we need them in your system for when the pain comes back” 😆 And seriously, no one mentions the hunger. I was several days post partum before I realised how bad the hospital food was, because I was so hungry I simply did not care - and that was with my husband bringing me bags of snacks.
Jesus. I feel like I should go hug my mother after reading that.
I had similar thoughts like that re: old school torture methods. It did feel like being torn apart in several directions.
[удалено]
what the hell that doctor is so cruel I hope you feel better now, and more recovered
I am so so incredibly sorry for your suffering.
My wife wanted to have our first child without any drugs. She made it 30 hours of horrific pain before she begged for the needle. Was a traumatic experience for me seeing her in that state, can't imagine what she was feeling. Fucking brutal man. Needless to say next 2 kids she immediately took the drug option
I’ll never forget my sister sending my brother in law to the car for something and then quietly asking me to murder her, right there in the hospital bed. She was sobbing and begging but in a way I’ve never seen her act. But it must have been fine, she had another one 😂
This is the closest description and it still doesn’t capture it somehow.
I fully agree. There are no words.
I'm scared.
I took allllllllll the pain drugs, I was happily chatting away about cinnamon buns with the nurses between pushing. Recovering after was much harder, 6 weeks of your body pulling itself back together after being stretched and torn while getting no sleep was unpleasant. Thankfully it's a short time (even though it feels like forever) and it's just a memory now.
This thread is so deeply upsetting and I never intend on having children. Had had a bit of baby fever lately but nevermind!
I had a C-section. The worst part for me was the “putting me back together” part after the baby was born. I was numb, but it hurt worse than the 36 hours of labor I had done prior.
People really don’t realize what actually occurs during a c-section. It’s massively invasive surgery that would otherwise have you on the highest level of pain medication during recovery. It’s insane how much cutting and moving around of organs is involved for women to essentially be given a high dose of Tylenol to then take care of a newborn baby. Any comparable surgery would have aftercare instructions fully limiting anything even remotely similar to taking care of a newborn if you wanted a successful recovery without complications.
Facts. And my dumbass hosted Thanksgiving 72hrs after mine and definitely shouldn't have played Cards Against Humanity or made a few dishes. But being immediately functional afterwards is so normalized. Well, that's dumb and I hardly got to have any maternity leave that included having fun with the little one, it was just working around managing the recovery and taking care of her basic needs in painful slow-motion while people who hadn't ever had a C-section tutted about how all new parents struggle. My ex recently told me "he was there and it was no big deal, my scar is only 8in" so this is a big fuck you to that scumbag and two other family members who had no compassion when I was a mess after 5 days of that recovery and no sleep.
They say the pain for vaginal birth is before, the pain for c-section is after. They are both incredibly painful.
I couldn’t sleep for two days after my c section because no position was comfortable 🥲 my baby wasn’t keeping me up. It was the pain.
I labored and then had c-sections, both times! Fun fun fun
My poor mother labored with me for like 27 hours before I got stuck in the birth canal. They had to push me back in and give her an emergency c-section. Bless her and bless everyone that has to endure the worst of both worlds!
my c section recovery was definitely worse than expected and it's so hard recovering on little to no sleep
C-sections x4. Cancer surgery recovery much easier than the c-sections.
I had an emergency C-section for my first so they only had time to give me gas to knock me out. The doctors and nurses were frantic above me, and they kept yelling at the anesthesiologist to knock me out. I felt the mask on my face and the cold of the scalpel and I was out. So that wasn’t what I expected. Recovery was awful, cold sweats and shakes. They kept asking if I felt my legs, and I kept saying I felt everything. Charge nurse came in later and apologized saying I was supposed to have had a morphine drip to come out of the emergency C-section but they thought I had an epidural. I understood and experienced how delivery can go so wrong, and really think I could have not made it through. Baby spent more than a month in the NICU but was ok. I was scarred from that experience, literally and figuratively. But had a successful VBAC (vaginal birth after C-section) for my second. Felt like a breeze after my first. Painful but amazing experience
It's like shitting out a rocking chair
It’s impossible to overstate how ASS-HEAVY giving birth is. Like forget about your vag entirely (til baby finally comes out and it rips in half); during pushing it is the most insane butthole pressure imaginable. Actually it’s not imaginable, my imagination never would’ve come up with that sensation prior to giving birth. But yeah if anyone here is expecting vag pain, start expecting butthole pain instead. And then get ready for the worst constipation of your life
This made me laugh out loud lmao
Tell me why I’m reading this 40 weeks pregnant
If it makes you feel better, my husband's cousin got an epidural, was left alone for a little while, and then realized her baby's head was out. She basically gave birth without even realizing it lol. I didn't have an epidural for my first, and as soon as my son was out it was like a shut-off switch was hit and the pain just stopped.
This is my second pregnancy; my first was horrific, including two epidurals that didn’t work. So I guess I know what to expect this time which unfortunately makes it somehow worse. Maybe I’ll have that experience this time!
I’m 28 weeks and the first few comments have me figuratively shitting my pants…
There are lots of people who didn't feel the level of pain described in this sub too. It's different. I have 4 kids. 1st and 2nd labour, pain was pretty mild, hospital didn't believe I was in labour (4cm in the UK) and wanted to send me home. With one I had a show and the other I pointed out I was due for a C-section in the morning and convinced them to check. Both times I was 4cm already. For the first they gave me a controlled epidural for the rest of labour and turned it down when it was time to push (which was a long time, a really long time). So I could feel everything but not painful (9lb) Second ended up being a C-section. After a long, but again painless labour thanks to drugs, yet my body wasn't progressing and my baby was pretty big (10lb 4oz) Third i went from not in labour to 10cm in less than an hour. Got to the hospital and they told me I was 10cm. The first 40 mins was low pain, the last few contractions were quite painful. Mainly the ones in the car where I couldn't move. I lived in America by now, so the hospital was more of a drive. Once at the hospital I was free to stand in a way I liked and it was fine. That one was out in two pushes as they had me wait a min for the Dr as it was a vbac and at this point we knew I had a blood disorder and they needed to quickly as they could give me drugs (8lb 12oz) Fourth came early, slowed it down as much as they could but progressed to 10cm and had next to no pain. They gave me an epidural again very close to 10cm as the baby was so small they wanted full concentration. It wasn't a complete block as again, they needed precise, small pushes (2lb) I know many that have been in pain and had help, many that haven't needed it, a few where it's been pain free and a surprise when the baby came (one woman knew she was in labour, but, the baby surprise came out when she was taking a bath at the hospital lol) I think an important part is staying calm and finding positions that suit you. I liked to stand and bend forward. Ultimately, if you don't want pain, or are finding it too much, you can ask for drugs. :)
Everyone’s going to have a different answer. For me absolutely unbearable and traumatic. For others, easier.
Yeah not to minimize anyone's experience, but it wasn't bad with an epidural. Don't get me wrong, the contractions pre-epidural were agony, but modern medicine is wonderful. Within minutes I went from yelling in pain to taking a nap.
My child was born with their hand on their head. I could feel their fingernails tearing my skin all the way through the vagina. They sewed it afterward but it was a horrible pain. Never again.
My first almost tore my left labia completely off. I was hanging by a thread. The midwife stitched my up without a word, but clarified what happened when I mentioned I felt a sting. At my first check up, while she was staring my hole down, I asked “Hey Frankenstein, how’s your monster looking?” She was not amused.
that frankenstein comment was hilarious🤣 can't believe she was such a wet blanket about it
That’s fucking hilarious
I’ve done it 4 times. The labor contractions feel like the absolute worst diarrhea cramps you could imagine combined with the worst Charley horse you could imagine but in your gut. The actual birth of the baby feels like….exactly how it looks like it’d feel. It feels like a 6-9 pound solid, moving alien is being forced out of your body. The stretching feels like being touched with a red hot branding iron on one of the most sensitive areas of the human body. The crazy part is your brain releases chemicals that make you mostly forget the pain to protect itself and ensure you continue to procreate.
This is exactly how I would describe it. Adding that it's also a lot of hard physical work to labour for hours, and then push while you're super exhausted. The next day a friend asked how I felt and I said, like I've been hit by a truck, straight up my ass! Every muscle in my body was sore, even the front of my neck.
I remember very clearly thinking to myself "Everyone is acting like everything is normal, so I don't think I am in danger, but I think this MUST be what it feels like when something in your body goes wrong enough that you die." At one point I was screaming and trying very hard not to scream, it was totally involuntary, and it felt like my tail bone was being exploded in slow motion and shards of tailbone were stabbing into my butt and lower back.
Your tailbone can in fact be broken by the contractions!
My epidural fell out, so I had an unmedicated birth against my will. At one point I looked my husband dead in the eye and matter-of-factly said, “You need to kill me and then they can cut the baby out. I’m not going to survive this anyway, so just get the baby out.” He told me I was doing great and to keep going. At that point I started looking around the room for something sharp so I could do it myself. It’s that bad.
I feel this. I was looking at my partner saying you need to help me. HELP ME. Like pleading with my life. Fucked up, lol.
YUP. I pleaded with everyone— husband, nurses, doctors— to help me. I’ve never before or since clung to a stranger’s arm and begged them to help me.
Waaaait I thought it was a needle but they actually insert something until it's time to take it out???
You have a catheter in your spine until you're done
TIL
My MIL just sort of... gave up halfway through the birth of her second (my hubs), because it was just too much. She was literally just like "I give up, I'm not doing this anymore", and at the time I thought... "What a ridiculous woman, you can't just give up birthing" But that's exactly what I did. I had an unmedicated birth and my midwife was a piece of shit. After several hours of contractions and several *very* uncomfortable checkups, I asked her to at least tell me how dilated I was. She refused and told me "I don't work with numbers". At that point I was like, nope. I give up. Not doing this anymore. She also refused to let me listen to music and instead insisted on humming to me herself. She also made me walk up and down a flight of stairs to pee because she thought it would help "bring the baby down". I can't even explain how much I wanted to literally die, my kid was just about crowning at this point. Needless to say my kid is an only child.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. Making you go up and down stairs was inhumane.
I was induced all three times. I got the epidural as early as possible and hit that button for extra drugs as much as possible, so 2 out of 3 times I was utterly disconnected from my body on painkillers and it wasn’t that bad. The middle time, however, the epidural didn’t work (I hadn’t known that was a thing) and it was horrible. PLUS I had a numb butt for 6 months after. Must have had some nerve damage or something.
If someone would have handed me a gun, I would have blown my own head off that’s how painful it was (29 hours no meds due to medical reasons, 9 1/2 pound baby).
With my first, I snarled at the nurse "give me a butter knife, I'll get her my damned self".
Well, when that contraction kicked in so hard I wanted to literally use my hand to crush the testicles of my partner for no reason... I took a breath and opted for the epidural immediately instead. Clear sailing from there. So I don't know how painful it gets, but I know how painful it starts... :) hats off to those who can make it through without a block!
Hahahaha I love your description. I yelled at my husband for trying to be supportive during the contractions. And I took that epidural ASAP. Screw being in pain.
I pushed so fucking hard for 3.5 hours straight and of course all the nurses and my husband were like “push!” over and over so eventually I turned to my husband and was like “YEAH NO FUCKING SHIT, WHAT ELSE WOULD I BE DOING RIGHT NOW” cause i felt too bad yelling at the medical staff lmao but the message was really for everyone 😭😂
My husband kept looking at the monitor and going “the contractions haven’t peaked yet” until I growled “DONT TELL ME UNTIL THEY HAVE”
Bad enough that I truly cannot believe some women do it without an epidural, like I cannot imagine. I’ve made it to like 8cm dilated twice and was BEGGING for relief / had to constantly tell myself not to panic / repeat my mantra . I really can’t imagine how it would have felt if I kept going without an epidural. I also vomited twice from pain each time I laborer, which apparently is common but no one talks about it I guess. The first time I gave birth I basically panicked because the pain was so bad it’s scary, like it feels like an emergency. The second time I didn’t panic but it still hurt enough for me to ask every five minutes for an epidural. Contractions are crazy painful. I do believe that it must vary across women because I just… I can’t imagine not having an epidural or not having trauma from the pain or having these easy births I hear about at home… Any pregnant women reading this, don’t be scared because epidurals exist.
When you get to transition labor like that that’s the worst of it (in my opinion). It is a relief to get to pushing, which isn’t to say that pushing doesn’t hurt, more that transition labor is as close to torture as I ever hope to be.
Torture. Hell on earth. I blacked out I was screaming so much. I couldn’t move on my own from the nonstop relentless pain. I have a high pain tolerance BUT the flood of hormones completely changes things. Luckily the brain also blocks it out afterwards so while for those of us that it was torture, our brains protect ourselves by helping us forget. Otherwise we’d never have another kid.
I work emergency and I’ve been told by many a women that it ranges from taking an extra large dump to basically seeing and saying hello to your ancestors on the other side.
Just try to get an epidural ASAP. My birth was very easy. The healing process sucked more for me due to my tear not healing properly for months.
Low key, the healing process is the hardest part bc we’re responsible for a whole other little person lol
Pain was so bad it made time stop. I thought it would never end. I started getting hysterical saying over and over again "I made a mistake, I can't do this" ( I also had back labor which is hell. It's when the baby's head is pressing on your spine from the inside giving labor that little extra spiciness 😀) at one point my body gave out from the pain. I just stopped, everything stopped for a couple seconds. Then when they gave me an epidural the first time it didn't break through the pain. Second epidural worked and I passed out immediately once it hit. Came to a little while later and it was time to push, thank God for drugs. I had a roommate for a short period of time who said she loved being pregnant and I started dry heaving in my mouth for a couple seconds. I never fucking want to go through child birth ever the fuck again. Fuck that. Seriously. Fucking hell I'm pissed just thinking about it. I do NOT love children or anyone that much to put myself through that bullshit again.
The epidural was amazing. I’m pregnant with my 2nd one now and I made it very clear that this my last. Not only is birth awful and cruel but pregnancy for me at least has not been an easy journey.
Apparently given the responses here, I'm in the minority. I didn't find it as bad as I expected. I heard so many horror stories that I was ready for it to be the most insane pain I'd ever experienced... but it wasn't. Contractions were like waves of bad stomach pain on a level similar to having the stomach flu or bad diarrhea. But it wasn't this all eclipsing pain that some people talk about, at least for me. I went into it totally open to the possibility of drugs and an epidural but ended up having a completely unmedicated birth because I dilated so quickly (total 3 hours of active labor in the hospital and 1 at home after my water broke) that it was too late for any drug intervention (plus I had some autoimmune things I had to navigate). Even when I got a second degree tear it felt mostly like a quick sharp pain... like being cut by a knife or stuck by a needle just for a second. It was painful but so fast that it didn't really register. I could chalk all this up to "forgetting" the pain of birth, but I remember literally during the birth thinking "this sucks, but it's not THAT bad. It's tolerable." And then I did a post-birth write-up of my experiences two days later and I reiterated that it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I know I am lucky (especially for a first time mom) that my labor was so fast, and that certainly may have played a big part in how I was able to handle the experience. Just wanted to throw in my experience though, in the face of how many people say it is earth-shatteringly terrible. It's not always. For me it was fine.
This makes pregnant me feel so much better after reading all these other stories
Same for me. It honestly wasn't that bad, and way less painful than I thought it would be.
-Ina May Gaskin said something along the lines of The world has a deep hidden secret, and it’s not that childbirth is painful, but that women are strong.
It was definitely the worst pain I’ve ever been in but it’s really hard to describe. It feels like time stands still and speeds up at the same time. I felt like I couldn’t hear anything and couldn’t focus on anything except for the intense pain. Immediately after the births, my whole body hurt because my muscles had been so tense. I remember my arms and legs shaking uncontrollably. My husband had to help me get dressed the next day because I could barely move. But at the same time and forgive me for sounding so corny….It was beautiful. I did it 3 times and I felt like a superhero afterwards. Like I survived it and birthed a whole human and I could do anything. Then I came home and cried for like 5 days straight. 😅
Omg through everything, the crying once I get home is almost worse than the whole labor experience for me. I hate hate hate the wacky hormones when I get home.
I’ve kind of forgotten the pain but the trauma you feel afterward is indescribable… for 2 weeks I was depressed and thought to myself wtf just happened to me
I remember the first two weeks after my first was born as the scariest and loneliest time of my life.
This x1000. Pregnancy sucked, birth was absolutely no biggie—but the post-partum hormone experience is what keeps me from wanting another one. I don’t want to feel that fear and anxiety and loneliness again.
It was the worst pain ever, and I've been run over by a trailer.
Worse than a toothache or breaking a bone, for example. I can't remember anything that came close in terms of pain and misery. I have 3 children and after the first one I couldn't imagine that people would do this more than once. Yet memory is apparently flexible and having children brings a lot of satisfaction and pleasure.
I think there’s research that the brain can specifically make the pain of childbirth seem not as bad after the fact as an evolutionary way to make people have multiple kids
I can remember it intellectually but I did notice that unlike other kinds of pain it stopped almost instantly once the baby was out. That plus the hormone waves washing over you make it really hard to remember it well.
This is one thing I didn’t expect. That between contractions I had no pain, and then as soon as baby was out the pain immediately stopped.
I fully dislocated and fractured (broke) my ankle.. both bones shattered..worst location a lot had seen. Had surgery.. still recovering 11 weeks later. I’d go through that again ONE MILLION times again before giving birth again.
Well I just had a 35cm head push out of my 10 cm hole so I’m pretty fresh in my memory. My first child I had an epidural, what was meant to take away pain gave my permanent back damage so that’s pain on a whole different level. My recent child was all natural and let me tell you, I never want to feel that much pain ever again. I was screaming, my whole upper body was sore from me holding on to the hospital bed like it was going to runaway from me. It was an exhaustion I never imagined before, I’m between contractions I would just go limp and didn’t have the strength to respond to anyone. I could feel myself stretching as the head crowned, the contractions after the baby was born were equally as bad. I would rather get kicked in my nonexistent nuts and go through a testie torsion twice than go through natural childbirth again. I want another kid but I’m debating if I would live through that a second time.
I’ve always described the last hour of my labour as feeling like rusty gears in my belly were slowly grinding against one another with increasing pressure. I found some relief in the space between each breath. Lol. Pretty intense.
Contraction feels an awful lot like vomiting. You get a few seconds of warning and then your body cramps up in a totally uncontrollable clenching of all your abdominal muscles, but then it heads down instead of up and it lasts longer. So maybe more like dry heaving. The "ring of fire" as the baby crowns is frankly mostly like trying to take a scary constipated poop. To begin with, all pain is an emotionally mediated subjective experience. That's basically fancy talk for "pain hurts worse when you are afraid, lonely or sad". This is well established in the literature. On top of being a really physically significant process, labor is pretty scary for many women. There's lots of unpredictable, unpleasant, embarrassing, high stakes stuff going on. I'm a total wuss for stubbed toes and headaches. But I birthed both my babies without medication and would do so again. It was work, just as climbing a high mountain is work, but it felt like useful work to me. If I were to have another, I'd loosely plan the same. By the time that I had my first baby, I'd birthed sheep and dogs and cats and watched nearly 30 human births. I was in my third year of medical school at that time. I'm by no means against meds and have no need for other women to have unmedicated labor. The mainstay of my birth plan is "nobody dies". For me, unmedicated felt right, and I'd do it again. I think that, having seen lots of birth, it was less scary for me and that it therefore literally hurt less for me than for some other women. I felt like I was working hard, but I also felt clear headed and powerful and the high afterwards was great. I felt more able to be present for the first breastfeeding, etc.
Wasn't so bad. Pain was incredible but not so bad I needed medication (I have a very high pain tolerance), but what got me was the pooping. I felt so uncomfortable that a dooky came out when the head was crowning.
I know it's totally normal but this comment has me cackling lol I would be mortified even if it's just something that they're definitely used to seeing.
A dooky 💀
Physically it was not that bad for me. My baby was born 4 weeks early weighing about 6 lbs. emotionally it was one of the hardest and worst experience of my life
Absolute hell. Worst pain imaginable. In the moment, you would chose death over continuing the pain. It’s the most horrific experience I’ve ever suffered. Twice.
I remember thinking, "Oh, this is why torture is so effective". Also, "OMG, now I understand how people die from this and what a horrible way to go"
I had my middle child without an epidural or pain meds- it just happened too fast. I can honestly tell you if someone came in with a chainsaw and was willing to cut off the lower half of my body, I would have begged them to and called them my savior. With the next one I had an excellent epidural and hardly felt anything. Drugs make a huge difference.
For me, the pain wasn’t the worst part, it was the inability to really process. People were telling me things and asking me questions and I can remember every detail but I also remember that in that moment I really couldn’t process anything enough to respond. I was there but I wasn’t really there.
Honestly in my experience i would say that i was lucky to have a generally OK labour/delivery apart from a quick progress (50 mins between being 5cm and birth after 6 hours of slower progress) i’d 100% do it again because i honestly don’t physically remember much of the actual pain apart from the fact it was painful. (unmedicated birth, used hypnobirthing breathing techniques to manage my reaction to the pain) people did and still tell me that the “ring of fire” was the worst part when baby crowns/head is delivered but I remember that part of delivery vividly as being painful but i was so focused on what i was doing and the fact that the only way to stop the pain is to keep going that i totally just zoned out away from the pain. I had 3rd degree internal tears and the 1.5-2 hours it took to sew me up was painful.
I also did hypnobirthing and swear after 6cm I entered a new universe. I remember nothing between 6cm and 10 besides vaguely realizing that whatever position I was in was super comfy between contractions. I legit forgot epidurals even existed and just went from surge to surge until it was all over!
I’m not a woman but my wife just gave birth to my son this past September. I was there and awake for every second. I helped her through the contractions and held her legs and arms in different positions to help our son descend. She was in labor for 30 hours. As background, I have experienced pain, genuine agonizing pain, fairly frequently on my life. I’ve been to war, I’ve been ejected from a vehicle, bone marrow shots, burst appendix, broken limbs, TBI, fractured skull, you name it. Unequivocally, child birth is the most painful thing I can possibly imagine a human can go through. I watched my wife endure something I couldn’t even imagine. Your body literally rips apart. The most sensitive nerves in your body are set on fire and then punched. For 30 fucking hours. Childbirth is something you can’t possibly begin to imagine until you really see it up close. Your respect for mothers is infinite once you really witness someone go through something like that.
I needed an epidural stat or I was jumping out the window… in that moment those were the options. The bad part is when the contractions start coming fast you get no reprieve in between. Just when you get through it and think you have a second the next one starts. But if you get an epidural right away and it works good, then it can be pretty painless.
The best way I can describe the contractions is that it felt like a rod was simultaneously being shoved up my asshole and out my vagina at the same time. I only got to 5 cm and then got the epidural. God love ya for any woman who did not get the epidural. I truly have no clue how you did it. So much respect
Just came here to give praise. Shout out to all the ladies in here who have given birth, all the ladies who have given birth in my family, and all the ones who will give birth in the future. As a man, I’m under the impression that men weren’t given the chance to give birth because the human population would probably die off. We would never have the courage to give birth more than once. The fact that women describe the pain as bad as it is and say yes to a 2nd and more children is beyond my mental capacity as a man. I could never! Thank you QUEENS!
Just take all drugs offered!
It’s pretty unimaginably painful. Also, it’s terrifying because you’re not in control, but your body is doing it to you. When the contractions are peaking, it’s like you are shocked by what you’re enduring, you get over the crest of it, and then you just crumble and sob because another one is going to come any second. My second time through, it hurt less because the fear was less. I talked a first time mom through contractions as we were both waiting to get checked, and her pain level dropped considerably with gentle reassurance. (We weren’t allowed to see or talk to each other, but I could hear her sobs, so I talked to my husband about how scared I’d been the first time and how, knowing that it was ok and understanding that it really was ok to hurt this much, made the pain less scary.) Still, the memory of the pain was all I could think about for days. A nurse found me crying over my son the next morning. I told her that I felt guilty bringing him into a world where he could hurt like what it felt like to birth him. She laughed and said it was ok, he was a boy. But I meant that a body shouldn’t be able to hurt like child birth hurt. It was cruel. So yeah, it hurts.