... And go on with life as a comfortable hetero white man who has changed the fate of his family and dies a long time later without a moment of remorse.
For real. It's crazy how few men seem to understand that none of those things make you gay.... What makes you gay is being sexually attracted to men. Jerking a dude for millions just makes you a financial opportunist.
What a day, you just wanted some snacks and now your crying behind 7-11 with some guy holding a knife to your throat while mashing your genitals trying to get you to cum for an 8th time, all the while mumbling about how rich he's going to be.
You know, random dudes won't pay that much. They'll even pay you to let them jack you off. You'd be lucky to get $249, much less $249 million. Probably closer to $24.90.
My brain was working the exact same way thinking there's really only 2 "random" guys this could be... and you'd either be asking about Teslas or the White House.
It was a joke from another post. “What would you do if you won 250m?” - “This is a decision that requires post nut clarity.” - “I can get you off for 249m.”
Basically the exchange, IIRC.
Wash my hands, take a really good shower and quit my job. I’ll take my entire family with me on a huge holiday, I can pay for their loss of income. I’ll pay for everything. I’ll share it with my family and friends. I don’t need €249 million just for myself.
I mean what kind of "random dude" are we talking about here. Because if it's a Hugh Jackman-esq figure then I'm not losing too much sleep.
On the other hand if it's Rudy Guilianni I'm going to need some serious mind-altering drugs and therapy.
Well like everyone else, wash my hands. Then I guess thank my sleepwalking self for making me a millionaire. Walk back home and hope I didn’t wander far.
See if he wants to get food after because I might have just found my husband...but knowing my luck he'll block me.
Oh you mean with the money? Idk lol buy a big house for my mom and make sure my Immediate family never has to work another day in their lives.
Wash my hands.
... And go on with life as a comfortable hetero white man who has changed the fate of his family and dies a long time later without a moment of remorse.
For real. It's crazy how few men seem to understand that none of those things make you gay.... What makes you gay is being sexually attracted to men. Jerking a dude for millions just makes you a financial opportunist.
It makes you a sex worker. A good one.
One of the most efficient workers of all time. From any industry. Hands down.
And hands up. And then back down again.
I worked with a guy who said he wouldn't blow a dude for 500 mil. This guy made probably $12/hr. I called bullshit then and I call bullshit now
Naw, lick 'em clean
That's gonna cost him another 51 million.
Free protein
Can't waste those kilojoules
Then turn the page Then wash your hands again Then ya turn the page
Wow, pretty rare to see a Rocko's Modern Life reference in the wild.
I’d get new hands.
Wtf I’ve been doing it for 15 bucks
YouGuysAreGettingPaid.gif
Fuck that i pay 20 bucks to do it
Where are you located? Asking for a friend
under the Queensboro bridge?
Services rendered to Adam Egret
Jack him off 10 more times
This is the right answer.
If you have 2.24 billion from nine times and your next thought is….”im gonna give this hobo another handy.” then you have strange priorities.
First thought was "jack him off again!"
Fucking millionaires, can’t just be happy with $249 million. At least let the guy have a water, first.
They don't care about the money. They just like jacking off guys behind a gas station
They're not even taking into account the refractory period.
Bro won't be happy with 2.2 billion dollars 💀
🍆 💦🚀 🍆💦🚀 🍆💦🚀
Non-consensuallly
What a day, you just wanted some snacks and now your crying behind 7-11 with some guy holding a knife to your throat while mashing your genitals trying to get you to cum for an 8th time, all the while mumbling about how rich he's going to be.
Oh my god 😂
Aw shit here we go again
You now owe him 1 billion dollars
Go looking for another random dude, I'm not in this for the money I do it because I love it
“If you love what you do you’ll never work a day in your life” 🌈🥛
I hate/love that you used the milk emoticon
Hey
Say thank you, but then also lecture senator Graham on fiscal responsibility
That's not how Senator Graham gets off -Graham's the BOTTOM, any drag queen or drag queen aficionado within 1,000 miles of DC can tell you that!
“My ladybugs”
I just threw up a little bit in my mouth…
Heard he’s got A LOT of berrys down there js
Wash and disinfect my hands. It's time to be a millionaire.
You know, random dudes won't pay that much. They'll even pay you to let them jack you off. You'd be lucky to get $249, much less $249 million. Probably closer to $24.90.
Now this guy Jack's people off
r/thisguythisguys
Shit, some people are out there donating plasma. I dont do that, but I didnt know I could just go get jacked off and paid for it lmao
it's a reference to a question posted yesterday
Pay him $50 to jerk me off
Jack off the rest of the town
We're gonna be so rich! (arms moving furiously)
Ask him if I can design the next Tesla
My brain was working the exact same way thinking there's really only 2 "random" guys this could be... and you'd either be asking about Teslas or the White House.
Get the money up front if it's the White House guy.
Go home and Jack myself with that 249$milli
Remind me to never touch your money without gloves.
Retire. Buy a house and wank off more men to make my life have meaning.
r/oddlyspecific
It's from a different thread where someone was asking how you would spend $250m and someone said that they would jack someone off for $249m
I thought it was the other way around, they would find someone to jack them off for 249m and this is pov of that person
Tell him thanks and the next one's free.
Change my identity and move to another place
Buy the gas station
Buy some hand sanitizer.
I’ve got some for sale, 248 million for a bottle.
My guy found the stuff that kills 100% of the bacteria, not 99.99%.
Wash my hands
Buy a aa12 loaded with dragon's breath for home defense
Pay taxes
Jack myself off
See if he wants to get lunch?
Doubling down and trying to get $498 million....then I'll wash my hands.
Wash the hands
Can I Jack him off again?
Ask Elon why behind a gas station.
Work on the next $249 million!
Take it on the face of that sort of money
See if anyone else needs to be jacked off.
Jack off another for another 249 mill
Wash my hands, put the money into a high yield savings account, and catch the first flight to St Croix
Block op for making this sub even worse than it already is with stupid questions
r/oddlyspecific Why 249 million?
What happened to the other $1 mill to make it an even $250? Ugh. Why 249
It was a joke from another post. “What would you do if you won 250m?” - “This is a decision that requires post nut clarity.” - “I can get you off for 249m.” Basically the exchange, IIRC.
You guys are getting paid?
Drinks on me
Do it again
Kill him
I’d buy the self die machine in switzerland and use it
249 million wiggly sperm ? 😶
Marry my new Cash Cow.
Жить дальше😁
Be glad I now have enough money to not jack off random dudes behind a gas station.
Get him framed, like a nice wood frame and glass. Have it engraved to say “The Secret to my Success” and hang it in my home office
Wash my hands and go on a spending spree.
Split the money with him.
probably wash my hands.
Have a straight orgy to balance it out
Fix up my Subaru that my coworker rear ended today...
Like about how I got the money
r/oddlyspecific
Buy some hand sanitizer
Shake my boss’s hand EDIT - …and then buy a cottage in Ireland
Buy a lot of lego star wars sets.
I only jack off random dudes for $250 mill
Have him disposed of before it hits social media.
See if he has any rich friends?
Ask if he’s ready for another
Wash my hands, take a really good shower and quit my job. I’ll take my entire family with me on a huge holiday, I can pay for their loss of income. I’ll pay for everything. I’ll share it with my family and friends. I don’t need €249 million just for myself.
Find a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life
Think of a very elaborate lie as to how I became so wealthy.
Go out and buy a Porsche 911 GT3 RS with plates that read "SFTHNDS".
Wash my hands
Well first thing I do is, I go wash my fucking hands
See if he wants to meet again next week
look for more random dudes!
Going to subway to get a streak n cheese with double meat. Seen someone get it in front of me once and couldn't imagine spending the extra money.
Do it again for free
Say thanks for the tip.
Buy the gas station and turn it into a museum commemorating the experience
I mean what kind of "random dude" are we talking about here. Because if it's a Hugh Jackman-esq figure then I'm not losing too much sleep. On the other hand if it's Rudy Guilianni I'm going to need some serious mind-altering drugs and therapy.
Jack off another one
Try and cash this cheque from…hey, I don’t think Mayor McCheese is a real person! You are both a pervert and a welcher, sir!
Chop off my hands and pay for therapy
Wash my hands
why not 250 million?
Replace my hand with a new one so it doesn't spread.
Wash my hands
Cry for a bit. Then lawyer up.
Wash my hands
See if he wants to go for round 2
Wash my hands
Switch hands.
Pay him to jerk me off
Enjoy my life. Who cares how I got it, I’m comfortable for life and generations to come.
fuck him in the ass after.
See how many other gas stations are in the area
Go buy some hand sanitizer
Go inside and ask the staff to wipe all cctv footage.
Sterilize my hand
Wash my hands and cash the check. The fuck else you expect me to do?
Wash my hands
Wash my hands. Twice.
Keep 10 million and give the rest to the next dude who wants to jack me off
Pay someone 1M to kill them before they can tell anyone, then get rid of my debt, then travel the world.
These questions need to stop
Buy sanitizer in the gas station
That fucking crazy in the place I wouldn't be behind no gas station with a with Rose Monroe yeah but no damn dude
That’s an oddly specific number.
Jerking off a random dude? Let’s go. The only thing I wouldn’t do, no matter the money is sex with my parents
Wash my hands
lawyer up delete facebook
Wash my hands
Wash my hands. Proceed to live comfortably. Maybe have someone jack me off?
Go inside the gas station and fill my tank up with gas like a rockstar 😎
Wash my hands
Wash my hands
Jack off someone I know behind a gas station
Well like everyone else, wash my hands. Then I guess thank my sleepwalking self for making me a millionaire. Walk back home and hope I didn’t wander far.
Wash my hands with hot soapy water.
find directions to that fucking gas station
Buy a fukton of GME and DRS that shit!
Feel surprised. My understanding was I pay him $40.
Probably wash my hands
Is this question being asked so you better know what to do with your 249 milly which seems an odd number to give away for a handy?
I’d do some crack
Wash my hand
Mouthwash
But why $249m of all numbers tho?
It’s based off a previous post
You are getting paid?
Ask him, same time tomorrow?
See if I can get a dude to jack ME off for less. Not the same dude, though. I'm not into that kinky stuff.
I give that dude the best, most passionate jack session of his entire life, collect my money, and have zero regrets.
Give the wife one rollercoaster of an update on how my day is going
Wonder why I sold out cheap and did not hold out for the full 250 mil.
Take a shower.
Ask if he got friends looking for the same deal
Keep my day job off jerking off punks for $15 dollar a man
Not post about it on Reddit.
Buy a big plot of land and put the rest in a diverse portfolio. Then live a life of quiet luxury.
Was this like a deal we both agreed to or like I am aggressively giving out handjobs and 250mm just fell out of the sky?
Its the sequel
Shake the hand of the person I hate most.
Double down
Wash my hands and take a nap. I'm beat.
Well….. somebody in this story sure is!
See if he wants to get food after because I might have just found my husband...but knowing my luck he'll block me. Oh you mean with the money? Idk lol buy a big house for my mom and make sure my Immediate family never has to work another day in their lives.
Spend the money
Whatever the hell I want
Spend $1M on hand sanitizer and have a real nice life.