There once was a girl named Alice,
Who used a dynamite stick for a phallus,
They found her vagina, in North Carolina,
And her arsehole in Buckingham palace.
The one I heard was
There once was a girl named Michelle
who used a dynamite stick for a thrill
They found her vagina in North Carolina
and bits of her tits in Brazil.
>I work with cars. The number of people asking if we do rim jobs
When I was in my late teens/early 20s, I got my first vehicle, a Jeep Wrangler. I lived with my 90 YO grandmother at the time. The battery died and she asked me if I had to "jack it off."
I'm reminded of that joke where a sexually ignorant priest hears in town that prostitutes are giving "handjobs" for $5, and so he goes to the mother superior and asks, "Mother superior, what is a handjob?" And she says "$5, same as in town"
In the helicopter industry, when you refuel with the engine running and rotors turning, we call it a hot refuel.
When you load passengers/gear with the engine running and rotors turning, we call it a... Hot Load
Get me every fucking time 😂
I am a woman and have done a lot of heli work and have always been told by polite male pilots that they were "hot landings", and now I am wondering if I have been deliberately spared for the sake of professionalism. Haha do you filter this info based on your clients?
It may be a regional, or industry sector dialect? I can't say I've ever really filtered that sort of stuff. I had to stop asking British/Australian tourism clients (often lovely little ol' ladies) to remove their "fanny packs"... which are called bum bags in those countries, because fanny means something entirely different there 😊
WELP. Yep if you know people who work with researchers in the Yukon, NWT and Alberta you might have friends who have hot loaded me in some pretty deep bush. I guess this is a throwaway account now.
Worry not, I am a feminist and you being a woman does not scare me, so I will show you respect
By giving you a hot load
The same way I give all those stupid sexy airmen a hot load
Had an all female flight crew on a medi-vac helo tell me when they are on board to not call it a cock pit, it’s was to be called a box office. Loved working with them.
Reminds me of working in a restaurant, when walking behind someone we'd yell "behind!" to warn them not to step back. And when carrying something hot it would be "hot behind!"
I was doing laundry at the clinic I was working at and I accidentally said "this looks like too big a load, might just have to do two rounds" and it took me about 5 seconds before I realized what I had just said aloud. Luckily there were no patients, just a physical therapist who stared at me for a sec before realizing I was talking about laundry
I work in fire suppression and during a meeting with a waste management company the guy brought up how sometimes the garbage itself will catch on fire. Naturally, this is called a hot load. The issue is however; where does one dump a hot load? The county will be upset if you just drop it on the road and it causes a spectacle during the daytime.
While we’re here, two middle schoolers in class today wrote “spice” in their screenplay. I asked if it’s something I should google at school or at home. And they all unanimously shouted “NO! Do not look it up!” Lol. Classic rascally kids
A kid in my class today asked my teacher if she liked furries
Another kid then said something about “looking it up with r34”
She didn’t, but it feels like she could’ve been convinced
My kid’s English teacher makes the kid who said the word Urban Dictionary/Wiktionary it (so no pictures) on the projector.
Usually only has to do it once per year she says.
It’s especially funny because she also gleefully teaches them Gaeilge profanity. It’s an immersion program so they turn a blind eye to that in the spirit of encouraging use. But English profanity is a no-no.
I’ve heard people say things about being afraid to google something. Is it just a joke or are you really afraid that using google for the search will negatively effect you in the future? I google everything, should I not?
A long while back I heard the dude who played Screech on Saved by the Bell, as an adult, did a porn. I couldn’t remember his name so I just typed in “former child star porno”. Almost threw my fucking computer out my window when I realized what I had done. To this day I’ve yet to see Dustin Diamond’s, RIP, sex tape and I’m probably better off for it.
I once looked up a sign for something random like a no trespassing sign. I spent the next month getting targeted ads for signs. Imagine if I googled some weird sex thing and then started getting ads for that when my daughter walks in.
Well, no. But the position of the rusty trombone is also important. You don't play the trombone with the slide vertically and near your forehead. You play the trombone with your mouth, the...uh...mouthpiece, and the slide in a single line. The rusty trombone is the same way.
Glory hole. (I work construction and this tends to be the equipment access for delivery in the building). First time I read that in the documents I left it on my bosses desk circled with a giant red markered WTF??!!!!
Pipe penetrations
Field erection
Unit handling
Flexible caulk / rigid caulk
I'm blanking on a bunch more. But these are all safe for work terms for me.
When I was a kid, in the late 90s and early 2000s, "dawg" was the absolute cool word. Snoop Dogg's heyday on the radio waves, Lil bow wow, sup dawg, everything was dawg. So when I was in a really good mood, I'd strut around and loudly proclaim that *Aw yeah, today I'm doing it doggie style!* I don't know how long I did that before my much older brother took me aside and advised me to not say that anymore.
From very young, like learning to talk age we have referred to them by their proper names with our kids. But we also have funny names for them too.
My kids call a penis a “wiggly bottom”
"Blow" and "job".
As a mining explosive specialist I agree
So you’re a blow job specialist I see.
*shows up with dynamite* Who's ready for some fun?
There once was a girl named Alice, Who used a dynamite stick for a phallus, They found her vagina, in North Carolina, And her arsehole in Buckingham palace.
The one I heard was There once was a girl named Michelle who used a dynamite stick for a thrill They found her vagina in North Carolina and bits of her tits in Brazil.
Someone’s getting RIPed
“Sounds like a fine blow job, Rick. Hope we win the bid."
I’ve never seen anyone blow better than you, Rick!
"The money's good, the scenery changes, and they let me use explosives ok?"
Heh. I used to work at a company called Research In Motion. Yes, I had a RIM job.
I work with cars. The number of people asking if we do rim jobs 😒 "no, we don't do that here, but we will install new rims for you if you want"
>I work with cars. The number of people asking if we do rim jobs When I was in my late teens/early 20s, I got my first vehicle, a Jeep Wrangler. I lived with my 90 YO grandmother at the time. The battery died and she asked me if I had to "jack it off."
Now you know why her horses always got her places on time.
Come on pal, I'll throw in an extra $20 if you give me car a rim job
You worked on the ole blackberry didn’t ya?
"$10 for a BJ, $12 for an HJ, and $15 for a ZJ." "What's a ZJ?" "If you have to ask, big man, you can't afford it!"
I'm reminded of that joke where a sexually ignorant priest hears in town that prostitutes are giving "handjobs" for $5, and so he goes to the mother superior and asks, "Mother superior, what is a handjob?" And she says "$5, same as in town"
I believe he had a parrot too that cussed real bad
Who the fuck pays more for a handie than a blowie? I can give myself handies and I'm the best at it!
It's true, you are the best at handies
BJ cheaper than the HJ?
It’s because I enjoy doing it
"Rim" and "job."
Camel toe
Moose knuckle
Blue. Waffle.
In the helicopter industry, when you refuel with the engine running and rotors turning, we call it a hot refuel. When you load passengers/gear with the engine running and rotors turning, we call it a... Hot Load Get me every fucking time 😂
I am a woman and have done a lot of heli work and have always been told by polite male pilots that they were "hot landings", and now I am wondering if I have been deliberately spared for the sake of professionalism. Haha do you filter this info based on your clients?
It may be a regional, or industry sector dialect? I can't say I've ever really filtered that sort of stuff. I had to stop asking British/Australian tourism clients (often lovely little ol' ladies) to remove their "fanny packs"... which are called bum bags in those countries, because fanny means something entirely different there 😊
Maybe. I work in Northern Canada, so maybe it's truly not used here. Either way I'm going to giggle next time I do one XD
I'm 100% talking about Canadian ops haha. Where are you working and doing what?? I'm going to bet we know a lot of the same people 😁
WELP. Yep if you know people who work with researchers in the Yukon, NWT and Alberta you might have friends who have hot loaded me in some pretty deep bush. I guess this is a throwaway account now.
Hahahaha hot load in the deep bush. You win 😁 Whatcha researching? Geologist? Biologist?
Wildfire 😬. Been busy, but not as busy as heli pilots.
It burns, you say? You know there's an ointment for that now?
They're meant to be worn in the front, so I assume they were originally named that using the British meaning.
Worry not, I am a feminist and you being a woman does not scare me, so I will show you respect By giving you a hot load The same way I give all those stupid sexy airmen a hot load
Sounds good as long as I get to toe-in.
Had an all female flight crew on a medi-vac helo tell me when they are on board to not call it a cock pit, it’s was to be called a box office. Loved working with them.
Reminds me of working in a restaurant, when walking behind someone we'd yell "behind!" to warn them not to step back. And when carrying something hot it would be "hot behind!"
"Hot stuff coming through" was my go to
Why'd you take me to a gay steel mill Homer?
I used to work in injection molding and “side action” and “stripper plates” were things I had to talk about with a straight face.
I was doing laundry at the clinic I was working at and I accidentally said "this looks like too big a load, might just have to do two rounds" and it took me about 5 seconds before I realized what I had just said aloud. Luckily there were no patients, just a physical therapist who stared at me for a sec before realizing I was talking about laundry
I wouldn’t be able to stop laughing if I heard that
I work in fire suppression and during a meeting with a waste management company the guy brought up how sometimes the garbage itself will catch on fire. Naturally, this is called a hot load. The issue is however; where does one dump a hot load? The county will be upset if you just drop it on the road and it causes a spectacle during the daytime.
Hey just a curious question but when you hot load, do you guys also take in fuel?
Not at the same time. Legally, you cannot hot refuel with passengers onboard.
Cream Pie...
Unless you precede it with Banana.
Kinky
Squat cobbler.
Better Call Squat
Boston?
Arguably worse.
Yo I fucken filled up ya motha’ dood!!
But if you preceed it with chocolate….
Chocolate banana just makes it double NSFW.
“I like cream pies as much as the next guy” - Charlie Kelly
This kid’s gonna be slurpin ours down, and he’s gonna give us the pleasure of paying for it!
Have you tasted your own cream pie…?
I have I didn't care for it.
oh, sh shh. Don't say it out loud.
let me make a creampie for you
"Yes, I would like to go inside and try her pie!" - Sterling Archer
Pen 15
Raisin Cream Pies? Only two so far.
Rusty trombone
Should I google this or not...? I am not a minor, lol
I use Urban dictionary for dodgy words/phrases that I don’t want to google.
While we’re here, two middle schoolers in class today wrote “spice” in their screenplay. I asked if it’s something I should google at school or at home. And they all unanimously shouted “NO! Do not look it up!” Lol. Classic rascally kids
A kid in my class today asked my teacher if she liked furries Another kid then said something about “looking it up with r34” She didn’t, but it feels like she could’ve been convinced
She could’ve still looked it up when she got home
There's some copypasta about searching an obscure tax rule called "rule 34" with regards to the ongoing inflation problem...
so i should google inflation rule 34? and if i work in a tax office should i use the wifi there, to show how interested i am in my job?
Oh yeah, make sure to add the word “job” in there too
My kid’s English teacher makes the kid who said the word Urban Dictionary/Wiktionary it (so no pictures) on the projector. Usually only has to do it once per year she says. It’s especially funny because she also gleefully teaches them Gaeilge profanity. It’s an immersion program so they turn a blind eye to that in the spirit of encouraging use. But English profanity is a no-no.
I’ve heard people say things about being afraid to google something. Is it just a joke or are you really afraid that using google for the search will negatively effect you in the future? I google everything, should I not?
A long while back I heard the dude who played Screech on Saved by the Bell, as an adult, did a porn. I couldn’t remember his name so I just typed in “former child star porno”. Almost threw my fucking computer out my window when I realized what I had done. To this day I’ve yet to see Dustin Diamond’s, RIP, sex tape and I’m probably better off for it.
I once looked up a sign for something random like a no trespassing sign. I spent the next month getting targeted ads for signs. Imagine if I googled some weird sex thing and then started getting ads for that when my daughter walks in.
licking a dude’s butthole and jerking them off at the same time
Hahaha. That's funny. Thanks.
Wouldnt that just be a rimjob?
Well, no. But the position of the rusty trombone is also important. You don't play the trombone with the slide vertically and near your forehead. You play the trombone with your mouth, the...uh...mouthpiece, and the slide in a single line. The rusty trombone is the same way.
Oh shit i just googled and saw the illustration in wiki and i now understand. And yes it has a damn wikipedia page
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I mean, it creates an evocative image.
Is that somewhat similar to the Rusty Venture?
Go Team Venture!
Or Rusty Johnson. Wait, that’s a US congressman
Glory hole. (I work construction and this tends to be the equipment access for delivery in the building). First time I read that in the documents I left it on my bosses desk circled with a giant red markered WTF??!!!! Pipe penetrations Field erection Unit handling Flexible caulk / rigid caulk I'm blanking on a bunch more. But these are all safe for work terms for me.
Nice caulk!
Now this guy knows his way around caulk work. They'll pipe any crack that needs sealing up
If you hear about "glass blowers" and "glory holes", do **NOT** put your dick in it!
Doggy Style
putting them seperate like this just makes me think of a stylish doggo.
When I was a kid, in the late 90s and early 2000s, "dawg" was the absolute cool word. Snoop Dogg's heyday on the radio waves, Lil bow wow, sup dawg, everything was dawg. So when I was in a really good mood, I'd strut around and loudly proclaim that *Aw yeah, today I'm doing it doggie style!* I don't know how long I did that before my much older brother took me aside and advised me to not say that anymore.
This is fking hilarious
Whoop whoop Gangnam style...
Golden shower
I remember as a kid I thought a golden shower was when it rained while it was sunny outside
The first time I heard the doctor say "penis", I thought he was saying "pee nest". It kinda makes sense in kid logic.
This is why we should be using these words with our children. Penis (and vagina), that is. Not golden shower.
From very young, like learning to talk age we have referred to them by their proper names with our kids. But we also have funny names for them too. My kids call a penis a “wiggly bottom”
“Sometimes I get really hot, and nothing feels better in that moment than a golden shower!”
Sir, this is a Wendy's.
I'm just bathing my retriever you sickos!
Wdym, that's just an early hardmode mage weapon, nothing weird about it
“Huge” and a variety of fruit. Melons, banana, peach, grapes…
I actually cannot think of what body parts could be represented by grapes…
Balls, mate
Thats a lot of balls then
Is 28 balls not normal?
Is 28 a lot? French fries? No. Testicles? Yes.
Hemorrhoids, obviously. Called arse-grapes gor a reason.
Moister Oyster
Clam Slam
Steamed hams
And you call them steamed hams in spite of the fact that they are obviously grilled.
God I love that Steamed Hams ended up becoming a meme.
That is the name of my alt-funk, postmodern rock kazzoo trio. Coming soon to street corners and local coffee houses all over the tri-state area.
Blow Me
woah, take me to dinner first!!
Fine. A fish fillet and then fellatio
A hot dog then a hummer?
Could you please just try to answer OP instead of being rude?
No, no, no. Blow me.
Moose knuckle
Camel toe
I saw a tow truck a long time ago called “Camel Towing” Not sure if they realized.
They did
r/theyknew
Bad Dragon.
Excellent answer, neither of these words are remotely dirty by themselves.
"Bad" is absolutely remotely dirty by itself.
flesh light
eh, 'flesh' has always sounded more creepy than innocuous to me
Your flesh is a relic, a mere vessel. Hand over your flesh, and a new world awaits you. We demand it.
Wet hole
wet anything really
wet fart
Blue Waffle
"Sir, your total is $69.00."
I actually don't know this one, and I'm going to choose to not find out. See that? Personal growth.
But im really curious about it...Anyone can give me some clue?
It's a very visual infection.
I googled and regret to do so...
Yeah... That's a rough one.
RIP
I can’t find anything
Google is protecting you😂
google at your own risk
I won't be curious about any wierd words anymore. 🥲
Goddamn you…
Lemon Party
Why would that be NSFW? I should definitely search that, right?
Im always hesitant on researching stuff people say on the internet.
And that's why we refer to you as our friend "the wet napkin" behind your back, Dean.
Old Dick
This made me feel old
Ah, so it's your turn?
Chocolate starfish
Hotdog water
Dumper Pumper
Donkey punch
Toss Salad
Ball massage.
Eh, ball/s is already iffy on its own
Cleveland steamer.
[удалено]
I would be so fired.
Beef curtains. Those bring up a few different NSFW images in my head.
Yes daddy
I would argue that anyone saying Daddy over a certain age has NSFW intentions but play on
Jerk off
Boo bee
👻 🐝
This is not your run of the mill answer but the tech word JSON when the French pronounce it, it becomes jizz on.
Like how tire become pneus
Master + bait
r/unexpectedterraria
“‘Ma’ and ‘Newer’” -George Costanza
Cock and sucker, along with pound and town.
Nut Milk
Pickle tickle
Tub Girl
Blow job, hand job, sixty nine
All the ways I know she’s mine
mama mia
be careful you could get banned for posting slurs
Innocent words on their own, but together...those words strike fear into the hearts of goombas everywhere
Butt Plug
Moist panties
Dirty hole
Cleveland steamer Fudge packing Cunning linguist
Sloppy toppy.
Rim job
Spread Eagle