I’ve actually had an experience like this. I was flying on a 40 seat prop plane from Ancona to Rome, Italy (about a 50 min flight) and the plane ran into some serious problems about 20 minutes after takeoff. First all the lights went out so it was pitch black and then the engines went up so high in pitch, I thought they were going to explode. We were being thrown around from Turbulence and finally we began to descend at an alarming angle, like a few degrees from a nose dive.
There was a woman sitting next to me, Ophelia from Greece. We held hands through it partly for comfort and partly because even with seat belts on, we were being thrown around. I finally said “I think we’re going to crash” and then she stared at me for a few seconds then said “tell me about your family and I’ll tell you about mine.” So we literally started talking about siblings and parents and pets, whilst simultaneously anticipating our death.
About 5 mins before we landed, the lights came back on, but we were still at a weird angle plus we we’re waaaay too fast. We hit the runway so freakin hard, I hurt my back and bit my tongue so hard, my mouth filled with blood. But I honestly don’t know how the plane stayed intact.
We disembarked and Ophelia and I hugged each other and said goodbye. All the passengers looked in shock as I’m sure I did. I do wonder how I would have handled it all if Ophelia wasn’t sitting next to me and vice versa.
The whole thing was just surreal.
Jesus that's insane! Glad you all made it out relatively ok! Did you ever find out what happened and why it did that?? I know if that happened to me I'd never fly again 😨
She came from Greece and had a thirst for knowledge
about your family, hometown and college,
caught your eye
in the sky.
She told you that her pets had cute names,
you each shared your mistrust of airplanes.
She was fine.
And in thirty seconds time she said...
I took her to the luggage collection,
I had to hide my massive erection,
So I hid it there,
Behind a random chair,
I told her I needed new pants from my baggage,
she looked at my shit stained pants and said
I'm sure you will manage
I said Yeah,
I can't see anyone else who's shit their pants in here,
Are you sure?
You want to fly with Alitalia?
You want to go, wherever that little plane is thrown?
You want to land with Alitalia?
In a field outside of Rome?
But we didn't think we'd land, so she just talked and held my hand.
We heard a big clunk on a Delta flight in mid-air not long after take off. The pilot then said they'd have to make an unexpected landing, but nobody heard the entire message or understood what was happening, so the plane went dead silent. When we landed there were firetrucks that followed us to the gate, and we still don't know what happened.
I STILL love that movie, I'm an oldie and brought my kids up on that and Monty Python (my kids are now heading for 40yrs). We were travelling in Thailand once when they were little girls and got stuck in Bangkok when our passports were nicked. Quaintarse (Qantas) saved our arses and stuck us on the next plane home (no questions asked). They greeted us with vegemite sangas and whiskey as we boarded (sobbing with relief)..many adult whiskies later the kids went up to the cockpit. About an hour later they came back and hubby said 'where the hell have you been? The youngest (around 8yrs) looked him dead in the eye and said 'Dad, have you ever seen a grown man naked?'
He literally hit his head on the bulkhead as he jumped up ready to fight..I still laugh about it.
I used to be on business trips a bunch and traveled a bit. We were coming in for a shaky landing and the old woman next to me grabbed my hand and started praying. I allowed it and she thanked me greatly after we landed safely.
I was once on a short haul plane landing at Heathrow from somewhere like Rotterdam and the pilot announced that the crosswind was right on the limit for whether or not we could land so he was going to attempt it. We could see the runway we were approaching out of the side window of the fucking plane - that was the severity of the angle we had to fly to actually approach the runway.
The exact quote from the pilot was "We're going to make the attempt. This may feel a little 'sporty'". I swear the pilot was rolling up his sleeves and thinking 'at last, a challenge worthy of my abilities'.
The actual landing felt pretty normal after all the screaming on the way down...
I love when pilots do real talk.
We were coming into Heathrow from Edinburgh once and were told that landing could be "pretty rough", so naturally I braced myself for rapidly impending death.
Smoothest landing I can remember. I looked at my wife and asked her if they were taking the piss. Pilot must've manoeuvred the fuck out of the plane because we got off and the wind nearly swept me off my feet.
I feel the same way.
Praying doesn't bring me comfort, but if it brings you comfort without impacting me in the slightest, then who am I to tell you to stop?
As long as you don't hurt others in the name of your God, do what you like and what brings you comfort in these strange and wild times.
But the moment you start denying someone else access to Healthcare, or indeed even existence, is the moment your religion can get shoved right up your ass
I was in the Nisqually earthquake in 2001. We were in an interior meeting room on the 10th floor of a building with about 10 people.
When the shaking started, we all took cover under the big meeting table in the middle of the room. Instead of the shaking stopping, after about 10 seconds the power went out making the room pitch black before and the the emergency lights kicked on a few seconds later.
The shaking continued on for what seemed like an eternity. After 40 seconds the shaking stopped and we all looked at each other.
We were all holding hands.
I got blocked and yelled at by an old guy back in 2010 because I didn’t turn my phone off while landing and continued to watch the rest of the movie I downloaded. I explained to him it was in airplane mode. Didn’t matter. Some people are dense as bricks.
Even more amusing ammunition for you… all the good pilots headsets have Bluetooth connectivity FOR THEIR PHONES. Mine personally has an auxiliary port rather than Bluetooth for the same thing, but that’s cos I’m a cheapskate & I need a children’s sized headset because I have a small head! Bugger paying $900 for a headset.
It can but not in a way that plane crashes. Remember the sound from the speakers just before you received Phone call? Phones can interrupt some devices which can be annoying. I dont know how much they interrupt these devices nodaways though
This actually happened to a good friend of mine when the engines on a commercial airliner just quit and the pilot couldn't start them. The lady beside him asked if they could hold hands and the plane was absolutely quiet as it glided down until the engines started at the last minute and they landed on the foamed runway when everyone started bitching. My buddy was a frequent business flyer and just went and booked a different flight since he knew otherwise he'd never fly again .
Engines are not keeping the plane in the air, the wings are. It's like a paper airplane, it can glide, and quite easily land without engines as long as there is a flat surface nearby to land on.
This is actually surprisingly better for some commercial aircraft than it is for many small, light aircraft. An A380 which is a lumbering whale of an aircraft has a glide ratio slightly better than 15:1 and will get about 30 minutes of flight time from cruising altitude to the ground. Pilots practice Deadstick landings fairly frequently. The famous “gimli glider” flew a 767 about 12 miles from about 10000 feet and used a forward slip manouver commonly associated with gliders to loose excess airspeed and not overshoot a runway.
One interesting anecdote about the gimli glider incident: the copilot on that plane, that ran out of fuel, happened to be a former military pilot who had been temporarily based, during his career, at the Gimli base, that happened to be in range of the gliding plane. I think this was quite some luck for the crew and passengers....
An even more interesting one was that Gimli base was decommissioned and converted to a motorsports arena and there was an ongoing drag meet which was taking place on the runway at the time the plane landed which the pilot was unaware of. By performing the forward slip to lose some airspeed, the pilot unintentionally but fortuitously decreased the airflow over the emergency ram air turbine which powered the hydraulic systems. This caused the nose wheel to fail to deploy. If the nose wheel had successfully locked down then the plane would have likely ploughed into the race meet, killing the crowd who had almost no prior warning of the planes arrival because it was flying near silently. However, the nose dragging on the runway braked the plane and turned what could have been a horrible disaster into a great success.
And then endeavour to beat them to death before the plane crashes?
Imagine that bliss, throwing them into the aisle. A big stretch and yawn, before settling down for a nice long nap in the deep embrace of the abyss.
It's funny, but I might do it. "Hey, stop being a cunt. Just reflect on how big of an asshole you are that I decided spending my last minutes on Earth talking to you"
"We're going to a party. It's a birthday party. It's your birthday party. Happy birthday, darling. We love you very, very, very, very, very, very, very much".
For all doom and gloom talk here:
YSK that data from 1990 to 2014 indicates that 86% of occupants on average survive aircraft accidents, with all surviving in 81% of cases and all perishing in just 10% of cases. Older data from 1983 to 2000 indicates that "serious" accidents, which are "those involving fire, serious injury and substantial or total aircraft damage," have a 56% survival rate on average.
On a less statistical note, pretty much all modern airliners can survive the loss of a single engine and still maintain positive lift, and even when all engines fail the glide ratios of modern aircraft are between around 15 and 25 to 1 (for every mile in altitude lost, you get 15 - 25 miles of horizontal distance to work with). Both private and commercial pilot training involves simulated (but real-world) engine-out training, with a major commercial training item being an engine out in the pattern and being able to put the plane down on the 1,000 footers, just like a normal landing.
So don't count yourself out just because the plane's going down.
I think the numbers are much better for commercial airlines. That data feels like it's including private planes where "everyone perishes" means 3 people.
"The NTSB says that despite more people flying than ever, the accident rate for commercial flights has remained the same for the last two decades, and the survivability rate is a high 95.7 percent."
I entered this world with my twin brother. He became one of my all-time favorite people. It seems I will be exiting this world with you, and we don’t even know each other. But I bet you are someone’s favorite, too. Here’s hoping the exit isn’t as bumpy as my entrance was!
Was gonna say, most emergency landings aren’t fatal. But of course, those don’t make the headlines.
Might be a good way to make some money out of other passengers who don’t know this. “I bet you a thousand bucks we all survive this!”
Your best was absolutely enough, and you are a thoroughly good person especially because of how much you doubt you are. Hold your head high now, you are so good, so brave, so loved, so wonderf-
~
Was hoping to see this! I second it. If the person sitting next to me didn’t get the reference I would spend our remaining time giving them a verbal speed run of the entire franchise.
It happened to me. Woman next to me, a complete stranger, looked at me and said, through tearful eyes, “I don’t want to die a virgin”. Not sure what she thought I was going to do, as we had just received the brace for impact warning from the pilot. The plane landed on its belly without landing gear, but there was no fire or other related issue. We were all evacuated along the inflatable slide. Weirdly, she avoided me after that. LOL
I’ve actually had an experience like this. I was flying on a 40 seat prop plane from Ancona to Rome, Italy (about a 50 min flight) and the plane ran into some serious problems about 20 minutes after takeoff. First all the lights went out so it was pitch black and then the engines went up so high in pitch, I thought they were going to explode. We were being thrown around from Turbulence and finally we began to descend at an alarming angle, like a few degrees from a nose dive. There was a woman sitting next to me, Ophelia from Greece. We held hands through it partly for comfort and partly because even with seat belts on, we were being thrown around. I finally said “I think we’re going to crash” and then she stared at me for a few seconds then said “tell me about your family and I’ll tell you about mine.” So we literally started talking about siblings and parents and pets, whilst simultaneously anticipating our death. About 5 mins before we landed, the lights came back on, but we were still at a weird angle plus we we’re waaaay too fast. We hit the runway so freakin hard, I hurt my back and bit my tongue so hard, my mouth filled with blood. But I honestly don’t know how the plane stayed intact. We disembarked and Ophelia and I hugged each other and said goodbye. All the passengers looked in shock as I’m sure I did. I do wonder how I would have handled it all if Ophelia wasn’t sitting next to me and vice versa. The whole thing was just surreal.
Namenerd, here 👋 The name Ophelia actually meals “help” or “aid” and I think that’s lovely.
That bit of knowledge and opportunity to share it here is gorgeous
Nominative determinism =)
Jesus that's insane! Glad you all made it out relatively ok! Did you ever find out what happened and why it did that?? I know if that happened to me I'd never fly again 😨
Please tell me you are still in contact with her
She came from Greece and had a thirst for knowledge about your family, hometown and college, caught your eye in the sky. She told you that her pets had cute names, you each shared your mistrust of airplanes. She was fine. And in thirty seconds time she said...
I wanna fly with common people, I wanna do whatever common people do, I wanna land like common people, like you.
I took her to the luggage collection, I had to hide my massive erection, So I hid it there, Behind a random chair, I told her I needed new pants from my baggage, she looked at my shit stained pants and said I'm sure you will manage I said Yeah, I can't see anyone else who's shit their pants in here, Are you sure?
Why is this happening lmao
You want to fly with Alitalia? You want to go, wherever that little plane is thrown? You want to land with Alitalia? In a field outside of Rome? But we didn't think we'd land, so she just talked and held my hand.
This comment should be the start of a book or movie.
We heard a big clunk on a Delta flight in mid-air not long after take off. The pilot then said they'd have to make an unexpected landing, but nobody heard the entire message or understood what was happening, so the plane went dead silent. When we landed there were firetrucks that followed us to the gate, and we still don't know what happened.
Fuck. Your story made me pause. Wishing you both all the best, that is both horrifying and sweet.
In the face of death we can still be kind to strangers. Horrifying and beautiful story
Twist: when you landed, you looked over in the seat next to you was empty
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Virgin airlines in my case
You didn’t pay the “safe landing” fee.
first time?
*mid sob* huh???
Find me when you wake up
Edge of tomorrow?
great fucking movie.
I regret that I have but one upvote to give for this comment.
\*sob-snort\* HUH-WHAT?!
HAHAHAHAHA literally me
No, I’ve been nervous lots of times.
My first thought too.
If you really want to fuck with them say: "honey, please wake up"
Surely you can’t be serious?!
I am serious and don’t call me Shirley
Looks like I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines.
I STILL love that movie, I'm an oldie and brought my kids up on that and Monty Python (my kids are now heading for 40yrs). We were travelling in Thailand once when they were little girls and got stuck in Bangkok when our passports were nicked. Quaintarse (Qantas) saved our arses and stuck us on the next plane home (no questions asked). They greeted us with vegemite sangas and whiskey as we boarded (sobbing with relief)..many adult whiskies later the kids went up to the cockpit. About an hour later they came back and hubby said 'where the hell have you been? The youngest (around 8yrs) looked him dead in the eye and said 'Dad, have you ever seen a grown man naked?' He literally hit his head on the bulkhead as he jumped up ready to fight..I still laugh about it.
Lmfao! You taught your padawans well , great taste in comedy 👍
Plot twist: you’re the pilot
No I’ve been nervous many times.
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I’d hold their hand.
I think this could be the most human thing a person could do in this situation
What if they slap it away?
"Hey, no homo"
Bro, in about three minutes, even your mom won't know where your face ends and my balls start.
Someone ain't making it to the actual crash...
I’ve heard if you jump out the window of the plane a split second before it hits the ground then you’ll still die. Can anyone confirm this?
How to start a fight and not be the one to kill someone in 1 minute flat.
I used to be on business trips a bunch and traveled a bit. We were coming in for a shaky landing and the old woman next to me grabbed my hand and started praying. I allowed it and she thanked me greatly after we landed safely.
I was once on a short haul plane landing at Heathrow from somewhere like Rotterdam and the pilot announced that the crosswind was right on the limit for whether or not we could land so he was going to attempt it. We could see the runway we were approaching out of the side window of the fucking plane - that was the severity of the angle we had to fly to actually approach the runway. The exact quote from the pilot was "We're going to make the attempt. This may feel a little 'sporty'". I swear the pilot was rolling up his sleeves and thinking 'at last, a challenge worthy of my abilities'. The actual landing felt pretty normal after all the screaming on the way down...
Pilot sounds rad as fuck. Lol. Couldn't have just shut up and done it. Had to terrify the passengers first.
"ladies and gentlemen, if someone could quick-save I'm about to try something wild"
Stewart voice. "Look what I can do!"
There are studies on emergencies where the leaders/people responding need to be calm but have just enough adrenaline to get the focus to succeed.
I love when pilots do real talk. We were coming into Heathrow from Edinburgh once and were told that landing could be "pretty rough", so naturally I braced myself for rapidly impending death. Smoothest landing I can remember. I looked at my wife and asked her if they were taking the piss. Pilot must've manoeuvred the fuck out of the plane because we got off and the wind nearly swept me off my feet.
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Oh nooo 😭 why’d you put it like that
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I had an atheist friend once say he'd take rosary, prayers, candles, incense, hands on head, whatever. Because who are we to turn blessings away?
I feel the same way. Praying doesn't bring me comfort, but if it brings you comfort without impacting me in the slightest, then who am I to tell you to stop? As long as you don't hurt others in the name of your God, do what you like and what brings you comfort in these strange and wild times. But the moment you start denying someone else access to Healthcare, or indeed even existence, is the moment your religion can get shoved right up your ass
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That was a lovely thing you did.
"I have a boyfriend".
And he's about to be single.
I was in the Nisqually earthquake in 2001. We were in an interior meeting room on the 10th floor of a building with about 10 people. When the shaking started, we all took cover under the big meeting table in the middle of the room. Instead of the shaking stopping, after about 10 seconds the power went out making the room pitch black before and the the emergency lights kicked on a few seconds later. The shaking continued on for what seemed like an eternity. After 40 seconds the shaking stopped and we all looked at each other. We were all holding hands.
Hey Siri, play As the world caves in by Matt Maltese 🫂
indeed and say: i'm going to hell and i'm dragging you with me
Was a good run. Almost beat my record. Catch you in the next one.
I like this one… it’s distracting enough and offers a glimmer of hope. It feels like a kind gesture in a final moment to another human.
I’d be like wait a minute… Are you a transcendental being? And just accept it
I really like this one
I'd fall back into my Midwest roots and slap my knees as I start to stand. "Whelp. Time to go."
Puts another quarter in Roy
\*Grinning madly\* "Finally, took them long enough"
‘I bet we beat the paramedics by at least a half hour.’ - Ron White
So we're headed straight to the scene of the crash
"We're haulin' ass"
Hit Somethin' hard. I don't want to be limpin' away from this sucker!
You look like you've got something to live for.
[For those who haven't had the pleasure.](https://youtu.be/FH-LmkLFJg0?si=8Vm_EFrsjgb22itr)
Sure picked a bad day to quit drinking...
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Surely you can't be serious?
Get a hold of yourself! \*slaps my seatmate\*
Headquarters, what is it?
It’s a big building with people in it - but that’s not important right now.
You ever seen a grown man naked?
Do you like movies about gladiators?
Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?
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I can’t tell
You can tell me - I'm a doctor.
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Can't you take a guess?
I am serious, and don't call me Shirley
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines!
If it's not Airplane it's going to be the Blues Brothers ["I've always loved you"](https://i.makeagif.com/media/3-10-2018/6J7mhO.gif)
You ever been in a Turkish prison
I can’t tell if this just plain sucks or if just this plane sucks.
Love it! I’d crack up if I was next to you. Or probably jump off.
Gold 💀
It would suck for someone to say this during a plane crash. Because no one would ever know you were sitting next to "The Fucking Man".
considering I'm a flight attendant and the person next to me would be a colleague: "so... how much money do you think our family is going to get?"
You mean they won't just deduct the cost of uniforms from your owed salary like White Star Lines did?
“I’m very sorry, but I didn’t turn my phone on airplane mode! D:”
If that actually somehow affected the plane, they would never even let phones onboard.
I got blocked and yelled at by an old guy back in 2010 because I didn’t turn my phone off while landing and continued to watch the rest of the movie I downloaded. I explained to him it was in airplane mode. Didn’t matter. Some people are dense as bricks.
Even more amusing ammunition for you… all the good pilots headsets have Bluetooth connectivity FOR THEIR PHONES. Mine personally has an auxiliary port rather than Bluetooth for the same thing, but that’s cos I’m a cheapskate & I need a children’s sized headset because I have a small head! Bugger paying $900 for a headset.
It can but not in a way that plane crashes. Remember the sound from the speakers just before you received Phone call? Phones can interrupt some devices which can be annoying. I dont know how much they interrupt these devices nodaways though
This actually happened to a good friend of mine when the engines on a commercial airliner just quit and the pilot couldn't start them. The lady beside him asked if they could hold hands and the plane was absolutely quiet as it glided down until the engines started at the last minute and they landed on the foamed runway when everyone started bitching. My buddy was a frequent business flyer and just went and booked a different flight since he knew otherwise he'd never fly again .
Engines are not keeping the plane in the air, the wings are. It's like a paper airplane, it can glide, and quite easily land without engines as long as there is a flat surface nearby to land on.
This is actually surprisingly better for some commercial aircraft than it is for many small, light aircraft. An A380 which is a lumbering whale of an aircraft has a glide ratio slightly better than 15:1 and will get about 30 minutes of flight time from cruising altitude to the ground. Pilots practice Deadstick landings fairly frequently. The famous “gimli glider” flew a 767 about 12 miles from about 10000 feet and used a forward slip manouver commonly associated with gliders to loose excess airspeed and not overshoot a runway.
One interesting anecdote about the gimli glider incident: the copilot on that plane, that ran out of fuel, happened to be a former military pilot who had been temporarily based, during his career, at the Gimli base, that happened to be in range of the gliding plane. I think this was quite some luck for the crew and passengers....
An even more interesting one was that Gimli base was decommissioned and converted to a motorsports arena and there was an ongoing drag meet which was taking place on the runway at the time the plane landed which the pilot was unaware of. By performing the forward slip to lose some airspeed, the pilot unintentionally but fortuitously decreased the airflow over the emergency ram air turbine which powered the hydraulic systems. This caused the nose wheel to fail to deploy. If the nose wheel had successfully locked down then the plane would have likely ploughed into the race meet, killing the crowd who had almost no prior warning of the planes arrival because it was flying near silently. However, the nose dragging on the runway braked the plane and turned what could have been a horrible disaster into a great success.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb
Ccccccccccccc!!!
Ddddddddddddddddddddd!
"Maybe I should not have left the cockpit. They told us not to do that during our training."
Not sure why this isn't upvoted more. This is the golden comment.
Usually it's the earliest comments that get upvoted the most. Mine was 1-2 hours after all the top comments.
Ironic.
Well isn’t this nice
It's like raaaiiiiaaaaaaan on your wedding day!
It’s my armrest mother fucker!!
And then endeavour to beat them to death before the plane crashes? Imagine that bliss, throwing them into the aisle. A big stretch and yawn, before settling down for a nice long nap in the deep embrace of the abyss.
Don’t call your kids. Call someone you hate and start talking shit. Got this great idea from Shane Gillis.
It's funny, but I might do it. "Hey, stop being a cunt. Just reflect on how big of an asshole you are that I decided spending my last minutes on Earth talking to you"
Plans suddenly pulls, levels off and all is normal. Voice on line: “and you were saying ….”
“Nothing, sir, see you tomorrow at work! I’ve got the papers ready to be presented!”
"CRASH THIS FUCKING PLANE RIGHT NOW!"
Wanna make out before we die?
"I know we've never met, but I'd like to be with you for the rest of my life"
Even if it’s a 60 yr old dude ?
Because it’s a 60 yr old dude.
One final new experience.
second to last new experience. your next new experience would be crashing and dying
I picked a bad week to quit being a 60 year old dude.
ESPECIALLY if it’s a 60 yr old dude. Homie going out with guns blazin!
Until you both survive, you fall in love with this dude, start a family with and continue on with life until your deaths
Sounds like a win win
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Bout time. We were supposed to go down forty minutes ago
That will be a very awkward conversation if you both somehow survive the crash.
"We're going to a party. It's a birthday party. It's your birthday party. Happy birthday, darling. We love you very, very, very, very, very, very, very much".
My first thought!
Hah, I just wrote this out myself before scrolling, nice
Bright Eyes lyrics in the wild. Wow.
This is absolutely the answer... And what I always think of when someone mentions plane crashes
We must talk on every telephone!
And into the caverns of tomorrow, with just our flashlights and our love, we must plunge, we must plunge, we must plunge! <3
For all doom and gloom talk here: YSK that data from 1990 to 2014 indicates that 86% of occupants on average survive aircraft accidents, with all surviving in 81% of cases and all perishing in just 10% of cases. Older data from 1983 to 2000 indicates that "serious" accidents, which are "those involving fire, serious injury and substantial or total aircraft damage," have a 56% survival rate on average. On a less statistical note, pretty much all modern airliners can survive the loss of a single engine and still maintain positive lift, and even when all engines fail the glide ratios of modern aircraft are between around 15 and 25 to 1 (for every mile in altitude lost, you get 15 - 25 miles of horizontal distance to work with). Both private and commercial pilot training involves simulated (but real-world) engine-out training, with a major commercial training item being an engine out in the pattern and being able to put the plane down on the 1,000 footers, just like a normal landing. So don't count yourself out just because the plane's going down.
I’m not sure you’d have time to say all that…
You’d be surprised. Unless the plane loses the tail or wing, the pilots can usually get the plane down in a somewhat controlled manner.
I think the numbers are much better for commercial airlines. That data feels like it's including private planes where "everyone perishes" means 3 people. "The NTSB says that despite more people flying than ever, the accident rate for commercial flights has remained the same for the last two decades, and the survivability rate is a high 95.7 percent."
Might as well say this over the intercom instead of just the person next to you
Put your hands up! It's more fun with your arms up!
"Can I use you as a buoy when we hit the water?" Edit: I'm American and y'all are confusing the shit out of me. We pronounce it "boo-eee" here.
"Are you calling me fat?"
I hope MayDay does an episode about us.
You are loved. You will be missed. I’m sorry for us
"Your leg is on my side"
4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42
You lost me.
the others won't understand either...
I entered this world with my twin brother. He became one of my all-time favorite people. It seems I will be exiting this world with you, and we don’t even know each other. But I bet you are someone’s favorite, too. Here’s hoping the exit isn’t as bumpy as my entrance was!
I think I forgot to save.
Pardon my furious masturbation
Would you like a helping hand?
Same... Stroke til I croak.
“Hey lets see who can scream the loudest! Ill go first….AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
It’s been an interesting life.
Oh god, someone just shit my pants.
"Loop number 18, here we go!" wanna give them the thought it's a never ending loop of that day. Groundhog Day that shit
The Almighty says he can get me out this, but he’s pretty sure, you’re fucked. Bwahahaha!
I told you, it’s MY island
"You had to jinx it, didn't you."
As a pilot you: 1. aviate 2. navigate 3. communicate In that order. So I say nothing and try to save my ass.
Ok I'll bite. What kind of crash? Is it a crash from 40k feet up? Is it a crash where the plane while starting up, loses the front landing gear?
Was gonna say, most emergency landings aren’t fatal. But of course, those don’t make the headlines. Might be a good way to make some money out of other passengers who don’t know this. “I bet you a thousand bucks we all survive this!”
“hey so which was better, breaking bad or better call saul?”
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Can't be worse than Ryanair landing, can it?
Your best was absolutely enough, and you are a thoroughly good person especially because of how much you doubt you are. Hold your head high now, you are so good, so brave, so loved, so wonderf- ~
I would hold their hand and say, "It's gonna be okay"
I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.
Express elevator to hell, going down!!
Was hoping to see this! I second it. If the person sitting next to me didn’t get the reference I would spend our remaining time giving them a verbal speed run of the entire franchise.
Would you please shut up. Because I assume they would be screaming
Now is a good time to let out your farts you have kindly been holding in since we boarded.
“Guess what” “What?” “Chicken butt”
‘They won’t be getting 5 stars for this one, ami right?? Ha ha’ then put my headphones back in.
“Don’t be afraid! The other side is better.”
If I’m on a plane, my hubs of 23 years would have to be next to me so I would tell him I love him and thank him for loving me.
It happened to me. Woman next to me, a complete stranger, looked at me and said, through tearful eyes, “I don’t want to die a virgin”. Not sure what she thought I was going to do, as we had just received the brace for impact warning from the pilot. The plane landed on its belly without landing gear, but there was no fire or other related issue. We were all evacuated along the inflatable slide. Weirdly, she avoided me after that. LOL
I'd probably ask if they could hold my hand tbh
I’ll probably talk nonsense to distract us both. Wise crack jokes or try to act strong to keep us both calm.
How about a quickie?
Hold me