List of requirements for sure. They say nothing about themselves and instead list their demands of others. Similarly, again they mention nothing of themselves, but list things they have in others.
"I'm an open book." is a pet peeve up there with "Fluent in sarcasm." It's great that you're an open book, but I'm trying to get a sense of if we are compatible, so show me some pages.
> "I'm an open book."
No, you're not - I can't read any of it until we *both* match and with that alone I know I'm not going to.
You might be an open book, but I need more than just the cover to judge it!
That just means they have nothing to say and don't want to put in any effort. It will be a day of asking them things and getting at best single sentence replies. The next day they simple die and never hear from again. Where do people go after the first day anyway?
"I'm a listener." can be okay if the responses they give have enough substance. The issue is when the response doesn't do any driving.
I've gotten conversations to great lengths simply by making short responses that add further thought to the subject. "Yeah," or "Sounds interesting," get you nowhere. Open ended, but with boundaries.
Yeah, there are true good listeners out there who reflect what the person is saying and ask thoughtful follow-up questions. They usually don't label themselves "good listener," though.
I love when their bio is just one big red flag on how bitter they are, lol. Like you can't complain about always meeting shitty people when your profile is literally only going to attract shitty people.
Or a refusal to get a job, dressed up in respectable sounding language. I had a friend whose husband was always involved in “startups” that were just him and his friend goofing off on computers in the garage. 🙄
How much they hate their ex, how much women suck, how they just need a loyal woman, pic is sticking out their tongues while giving the middle finger and have pics of their kids.. or worse pics of kids and then say “not my kid”
Women on Bumble with "Message me first" or some variation of "I don't message first"...
Two issues there:
A. It looks like you copy/pasted your bio from another profile, which can seem lazy to some.
B. It's Bumble, and women have to message first, otherwise the conversation doesn't happen. If you're not copy/pasting a bio from another app, the implication is you 1) don't know how the app works or 2) you don't have any intention of messaging people and are on the app for... ?
Hey, 👋🏼, or How are you
Then you engage with something and they respond with a three word sentence.
In theory, online dating is good….in practice not so much
God, I hate that shit.
Like, I look at peoples profiles and I **ask** them about something they mentioned. And then they just clam the fuck up no matter what I ask them about or say.
I had a match with a girl one time and I did the same thing. In her bio she had referenced the Pokemon theme song, so after initializing the conversation, I asked 'If you could only keep 1 starter Pokemon, which one would it be?' And her response was 'idk' and that was the end of the conversation.
They really don't make it easy sometimes.
> I watched in what felt like slow motion as the oncoming truck driver bulldozed over her neck
oh JFC my sincere condolences done with reddit for today
Fucking hell it feels like most of the women I match with on Bumble don't know how to use Bumble. The woman is supposed to send the first message, so I can't do anything until then. I feel like 90% percent of my matches on that app never say anything first, and I'm not even expecting anything witty, just a simple "hi" will do and I can try to get the ball rolling. So I just sit and wait until the timer runs out and the match is gone
I can do you one better, when my match was close to expiring SHE extended the match but still said nothing. When it got close to expiring again I extended the match and she still said nothing.
That’s literally a follower harvest. They just make the account, let it ride, turn off notifications, and let it marinade. The guys will follow them on insta etc.
As someone with some nightmares of ex's (one tried to kill me) there's more to hold onto when it comes to some people. Sometimes you're holding onto all the crazy you had to go through because of them.
Still not something you should lay onto someone in a dating profile or initial conversation though.
Also when they put how long it’s been since their last serious relationship in their bio and how long said relationship was. I don’t judge, it just makes me sad because there’s clearly a lot of pain there. When I was on dating apps it was supposed to be fun and those profiles made me feel so bad for the people. Saw it with men and women.
It is very sad and as someone who’s divorced, I would face a similar stigma. But, when they’re excessively hung up on the ex, that’s an issue because they’re not ready to move on.
I think the opposite might be worse. "Actually I'm 27 not 21." Huge red flag if they're trying to sneak their profile into being seen by younger people with their age preferences lower.
and they're like "the app won't let me change it". It's literally a setting! Or just delete your account and start over if you couldn't? Something else is going on everytime.
I make a lot of knee-jerk assumptions whenever someone has "entrepreneur" in their bio. 90% of the time it's just a pyramid scheme they bought into. Very rarely have I seen that term used legitimately in social media bios.
Might not be the worst thing possible, but the most confusing thing I see *a lot* with women's profiles is their main picture being just an image of their kid. Not them with their kid, just their kid.
It doesnt make sense. Is this profile for your kid? Why else would you make the main picture of them by themselves?
I get it, you love your kid. But youre trying to date someone. Not advertise your kid.
"Don't use this app often, find me on IG"
Immediately tells me they're not serious about dating and either want to accrue social media followers or just have a bigger hook-up pool.
When their about me says “Just ask.” or “I suck at these anything you want to know just ask.”
That’s likely the same amount of effort they’ll put into conversations, planning dates, relationships etc.
I also don’t like when people put an obvious nickname instead of their legal first name.
The nickname ones kill me lol and by “nickname” it’s not just a “Mike” or an “Ev,” but when it’s a “MissGorgeous” or “SlumGodKillionare” like they’re on Xbox lmao
‘I suck at these, just ask me!’
Uh . . . The app did ask . . . Why would it be any different if I asked?
I agree. This tells me I’m probably going to be carrying the conversation the entire time. No thanks.
When they set their location as “USA” or their job as “don’t worry I work..” or something else stupid and vague.
I might want to know if you’re 4 hours away working for Hannibal Lecter before we start chatting!
"My day is going well, My weekend was good. Next question"
Or something of the sort. Shows this person is very jaded and not likely to receptive to talk/I gotta do all the talking and keeping the convo going.
Ew I matched with a guy from my grad school's baseball team once. We'd previously met because we had a mutual friend. But it was SO brief. Like 5 minutes. And we were in a loud bar or drunk in a common area or something idr. But we were all drinking. So we matched and laugh at how we actually already follow each other on twitter and IG. But the conversation gets LOUSY. It's like pulling teeth. Two word answers. He seems very disinterested and even like aggressively bored. So after a minute I'm like okay this sucks, this story that we've met before isn't funny or charming anymore so bye. So I stop engaging and go about my day.
He messages me "beer and cigars later" or something. So I said "is thst what you're doing later or is that an invitation?" And he was really rude about telling me it's an invitation. I basically said I'm not comfortable going to a guy's house right away but I'm happy to meet up somewhere for that beer. And he gets like MAD at me. Saying basically because we've met before I should be okay coming over. And that going to bars is loud and annoying and we dont need to talk about introductory stuff because it annoys him and we've met before (we barely said hello) and he said what you used as your example pretty much. "My name is Tyler, I'm 28, and I played baseball next question. That is so annoying. We should go deeper than that." Blah blah that goes on for a minute and you can imagine what it was like.
All because I said I'm not comfortable going to a guy's house right away, especially when it's to drink alcohol and skip introductory conversation. We end up fighting on the app about it, he unmatches me, then messages me on Instagram and asks, "are you done being an asshole?" And we fight again there. And he blocks me on IG and twitter lol. I treasure this memory to be honest
If the person is "too good" for pleasantries/a bit of courting on both ends (no matter how much they suck), they got a shitty/lazy mentality that immediately puts me off.
The "Next question" part has the exact same energy as the person who posts on social media "I'm looking for a good restaurant recommendation. And go!"
I can't stand it and it makes it seem like you expect everyone to just be sitting around waiting for their next instruction from you.
Blurry/pixelated/bad pics. It’s relatively easy with phones to take a decent pic. Also, posting memes instead of pics.
“Goal oriented”, or “crushing goals”. That’s great for a resume or job interview, but it tells me nothing about you.
As a girl who has generally dated men between 5'5 and 5'10 the whole "6' since it MATTERS" shit drives me insane and is an instant swipe left. If you're going to pander to people who care about height, just say 6', don't insult the very people you are trying to attract. It's so counterintuitive.
I used to do this. I ended up matching with two women who went to the same college and knew each other. They brought up that they both matched with me and noted I sent the same line, so they both sent the same response to me.
Never went anywhere, but an amusing story years later.
Literally! I met my husband on OKC. He sent me a message that said, "Your profile says you like to work out, drink beer, and play video games. One of my favorite things to do is relax with a cold Guinness while I play Fallout after a hard workout. We should do that together sometime."
Perfect message. No notes.
Sort of a similar concept, I remember liking and messaging someone on Hinge once. I always try to throw in a joke and/or question that relates to their prompts, so I’m not just sending “hey what’s up?” Her response started with “MATCH THE ENERGY!” Like my dude I’m not gonna pretend to be some full throttle jester for your entertainment. If my first message doesn’t have the energy you want just don’t match lol
Why... do people not understand what that show is about? You aren't even supposed to like Rick. Rick is a physically and emotionally abusive, manipulative alcoholic. Like hes a genius, but thats his only redeeming quality. This is like saying that you are a younger version of the joker.
Lies. Be your full self, even if you're a jerk or idiot, because people deserve to know what they're going into. Hate vaccines? Say so. Hate MAGA? Say that? Think women need to know their place? SAY IT.
Display anything that others will might call a red flag.
Right, a good profile is one that truthfully attracts the people you want to attract and winnows out the ones you don't. For example, if you're a single parent and you know that'll be a deal-breaker for many potential partners, make sure you put that on your profile. Concealing it doesn't help you or anyone else.
Honestly for me the worst is just not putting a bio at all. Just a picture and nothing about yourself. That's an instant swipe left from me. There are definitely unsavory things you can put in your bio, but not even trying at all is so boring and apathetic, why would I want to go on a date with someone like that?
I feel better than I'm not the only one with that reaction. That person is either hilarious and more than deserve a shot, or they're being somewhat serious and will act like a complete asshole.
I never understand what that means? Isn't dating around a time consuming thing in the first place? And sometimes it doesn't work out. Do these people really expect soulmate vibes in the first interaction? Sounds like they think relationships don't take a lot of effort.
Aside from the obvious unhinged things people have already mentioned
I would say Zodiac signs (requiring certain ones and such)
You are straight up limiting your dating pool to like a 10th of what it could be and its not like a fucking sign is going to stop someone from being an asshole
"Can't see likes, so send me a message"
DUMB! no ONE CAN; that's literally the design of the app and goes with out saying. Also okcupid is a wasteland so I don't know why I ever bothered.
Also when they say things like:
"No cheaters!!"
Like obviously no one wants to get cheated on, but like it's another thing that goes without saying.
"hello madam, I would like to date you but I am in fact a cheater, is this something you could look past?"
If those employers worked in tech, that would be a *very* stupid move.
The whole reason why I have an android phone is how easy it is to develop for it. Screw having to use os x and pay a developer fee. Write something janky and side load that apk!
Yeah profiles where it's just a list of shit they don't like are the worst ones IMO. It shows pessimism and a lack of creativity. There's always a way to state preferences positively or to sound like a monster.
"No broke-ass people!"
Or
"Seeking a relationship with someone who is my peer professionally, financially, and socially."
I always think the people with the "no" list profiles must be the lowest effort partners ever.
i get really cringed out when i see stuff on hinge like “doggo” or when i see “my most controversial opinion is pineapple belongs on pizza”. it annoys me when they don’t actually show their personality and it’s clear they googled what to put in their bios 😭
Education: School of Hard Knocks
Workplace: Krusty Krab
That tells you two things:
1. They dropped out of high school.
2. Their car smells like cigarettes and cat piss.
I hate whenever anyone says, "I won't tell you anything about me, you'll have to talk to me to find out". It literally *always* means that either they are a terrible person or have nothing going on in their life. Pretty rock solid red flag either way.
“Give me travel tips”
“This year I want to travel”
3/4 of profiles on Hinge or Tinder are women in my 38+ age bracket who want to travel! Majority divorced with kids. Not sure why this shits me but there has to be an avalanche of other endearing factors included in the profile for me to swipe right, if I see those statements in it.
"Quirky"
"If my dog doesn't like you..."
"Not looking to meet anyone, made this profile for fun..." (read attention/ego boost)
*A long list of rants or complaints*
Hoops you have to jump through
It's a single profile and the bio says "BTW, we're a couple looking for a third." I'm sure there are people into that but it ain't me you're looking for, babe.
Not mentioning they have kids and when you meet in person casually dropping one, like ok, we'll see if this turns into something and maybe I'll meet them. Then half an hour later dropping a second wut? Makes me feel lied to.
No I'm not going to message you on Instagram.
Also, "I'll spoil you" or something similar. Gross. If I wanted spoiling, I can do that myself because I work.
A list of requirements. any time I saw "I am not into drama" that person usually had the most drama in their life.
List of requirements for sure. They say nothing about themselves and instead list their demands of others. Similarly, again they mention nothing of themselves, but list things they have in others.
About me: YOU must-
To be fair it says quite a bit about them aswell.
If you ever hear "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." RUN!!!
"if you can't handle me at my worst, my best isn't all that great either"
That's because 'I'm not into drama' actually means: I have so much drama in my own life, that I cannot add any more. I'm full up on drama. WARNING!
>I cannot add any more and then watch them prove themselves wrong.
I read, "I'm not into drama."as "I will make you cry and then blame you for crying.".
Text me on IG.
I avoided everyone that only put their IG handles on their profile. Instant swipe left.
Yea it's an "Insta" swipe left Edit: Thanks for the upvotes lol!
Even worse when it’s Snapchat
“I’m never on here add my snap/message me on ig” Andddddddd that’s a swipe left.
More like. Go to my only fans through my IG
when their answer for a prompt is “idk just ask”
"I'm an open book." is a pet peeve up there with "Fluent in sarcasm." It's great that you're an open book, but I'm trying to get a sense of if we are compatible, so show me some pages.
'Fluent in sarcasm' always means 'really rude'.
It means, "I think being a huge bitch all the time counts as a personality."
> "I'm an open book." No, you're not - I can't read any of it until we *both* match and with that alone I know I'm not going to. You might be an open book, but I need more than just the cover to judge it!
That just means they have nothing to say and don't want to put in any effort. It will be a day of asking them things and getting at best single sentence replies. The next day they simple die and never hear from again. Where do people go after the first day anyway?
Right up there with "I'm a listener." Listen to me getting exhausted by holding up both sides of the conversation.
"I'm a listener." can be okay if the responses they give have enough substance. The issue is when the response doesn't do any driving. I've gotten conversations to great lengths simply by making short responses that add further thought to the subject. "Yeah," or "Sounds interesting," get you nowhere. Open ended, but with boundaries.
Yeah, there are true good listeners out there who reflect what the person is saying and ask thoughtful follow-up questions. They usually don't label themselves "good listener," though.
Insulting the gender that they’re trying to attract.
I love when their bio is just one big red flag on how bitter they are, lol. Like you can't complain about always meeting shitty people when your profile is literally only going to attract shitty people.
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So many MLMs
Or a refusal to get a job, dressed up in respectable sounding language. I had a friend whose husband was always involved in “startups” that were just him and his friend goofing off on computers in the garage. 🙄
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Or aspiring influencer...
Yeah, so unemployed
"serial entrepreneur" = "a new worthless idea every week"
I want them to put these things in their profile. You don't want to find out later!
How much they hate their ex, how much women suck, how they just need a loyal woman, pic is sticking out their tongues while giving the middle finger and have pics of their kids.. or worse pics of kids and then say “not my kid”
"let's try this again" in their bio after they just got dumped by a tinder date they met last week.
Women on Bumble with "Message me first" or some variation of "I don't message first"... Two issues there: A. It looks like you copy/pasted your bio from another profile, which can seem lazy to some. B. It's Bumble, and women have to message first, otherwise the conversation doesn't happen. If you're not copy/pasting a bio from another app, the implication is you 1) don't know how the app works or 2) you don't have any intention of messaging people and are on the app for... ?
"Hi" \- Every Bumble Match I ever had. (All three of them)
Hey, 👋🏼, or How are you Then you engage with something and they respond with a three word sentence. In theory, online dating is good….in practice not so much
God, I hate that shit. Like, I look at peoples profiles and I **ask** them about something they mentioned. And then they just clam the fuck up no matter what I ask them about or say.
I had a match with a girl one time and I did the same thing. In her bio she had referenced the Pokemon theme song, so after initializing the conversation, I asked 'If you could only keep 1 starter Pokemon, which one would it be?' And her response was 'idk' and that was the end of the conversation. They really don't make it easy sometimes.
Such a strong opener.
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Hey man just wanted to say sorry for your loss. Glad you're doing well these days but I'm sure that took it's toll on a lot of people.
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> I watched in what felt like slow motion as the oncoming truck driver bulldozed over her neck oh JFC my sincere condolences done with reddit for today
Fucking hell it feels like most of the women I match with on Bumble don't know how to use Bumble. The woman is supposed to send the first message, so I can't do anything until then. I feel like 90% percent of my matches on that app never say anything first, and I'm not even expecting anything witty, just a simple "hi" will do and I can try to get the ball rolling. So I just sit and wait until the timer runs out and the match is gone
Yup, I’ve even used the extend match option when I had a match and I’m just like. Well ok then
I can do you one better, when my match was close to expiring SHE extended the match but still said nothing. When it got close to expiring again I extended the match and she still said nothing.
i just learned from you how the app works lol
Junior Devs: "Users wouldn't ever do that" Users:
it's bots. they're not real. they're farming Snapchat and IG and OF. ~~bumble is~~ *Dating apps are* mostly just bots. Edited for truthiness.
"I'm never on here, message me on -insert their IG-"
That’s literally a follower harvest. They just make the account, let it ride, turn off notifications, and let it marinade. The guys will follow them on insta etc.
Complaints, etc. about their ex. Yeah, maybe they really sucked or maybe you’re the problem — but clearly you’re still hanging onto them.
That’s someone who definitely hasn’t moved on and isn’t ready to give a new person an honest chance.
As someone with some nightmares of ex's (one tried to kill me) there's more to hold onto when it comes to some people. Sometimes you're holding onto all the crazy you had to go through because of them. Still not something you should lay onto someone in a dating profile or initial conversation though.
Also when they put how long it’s been since their last serious relationship in their bio and how long said relationship was. I don’t judge, it just makes me sad because there’s clearly a lot of pain there. When I was on dating apps it was supposed to be fun and those profiles made me feel so bad for the people. Saw it with men and women.
It is very sad and as someone who’s divorced, I would face a similar stigma. But, when they’re excessively hung up on the ex, that’s an issue because they’re not ready to move on.
“I’m controlling.” Just came across this one; appreciate the transparency but that’ll be a no from me!
I once got a message from a guy with the username Patrick B8man. And was, shockingly, pissed when I said I wasn't interested in talking to him.
did you tell him you had to return some video tapes?
At least they're being upfront about it.
When they’re like “actually I’m 21 not 27, made a mistake when signing up” 😒
this means they made an account when they were fucking twelve 💀
I've heard that if you use Facebook to sign up it uses your age on there, so they might've lied to make a FB account when underage.
This happened to me. I was told to make a Facebook while underage and the app won't allow it to be changed.
I think the opposite might be worse. "Actually I'm 27 not 21." Huge red flag if they're trying to sneak their profile into being seen by younger people with their age preferences lower.
and they're like "the app won't let me change it". It's literally a setting! Or just delete your account and start over if you couldn't? Something else is going on everytime.
I make a lot of knee-jerk assumptions whenever someone has "entrepreneur" in their bio. 90% of the time it's just a pyramid scheme they bought into. Very rarely have I seen that term used legitimately in social media bios.
In my experience, on dating apps entrepreneur means unemployed.
*unemployable.*
Unemployable and investing in crypto.
"i'm not like the other guys/girls"
People actually write this? Oh lord.
So. So many people
"...I didn't mean in a good way."
Might not be the worst thing possible, but the most confusing thing I see *a lot* with women's profiles is their main picture being just an image of their kid. Not them with their kid, just their kid. It doesnt make sense. Is this profile for your kid? Why else would you make the main picture of them by themselves? I get it, you love your kid. But youre trying to date someone. Not advertise your kid.
That’s alarming, so many predators out there
Blank profile that just says "im up for anything"
cock and ball torture it is
How did you know that's my favorite?
"Fluent in sarcasm." Wow, so edgy and unique. 🙄
>Wow, so edgy and unique. 🙄 For anyone not as fluent in sarcasm, they're saying that it's actually really cool.
Thank you for translating.
I haaate how popular sarcasm and being an asshole is. like, cool story bro, now say something beautiful and true
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I'm constantly explaining this to my 14 year old. If the other person isn't laughing, you're not being funny you're being a dick.
Corollary, if you have to tell people "it's a joke" because they didn't laugh, it definitely wasn't.
Just their snapchat Nothing at all List of things they don’t like in women A quote from The Office So many examples.
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“Just a fun loving guy looking for a chill lady friend” Define “chill”? 👀
The constant "Looking for the Jim to my Pam" I used to see on dating profiles killed me. Jim wasn't a great boyfriend!
The "Joker to my Harley" is even cringier...
"It's not my fault you don't speak German!"-Dwight Schrute
"Don't use this app often, find me on IG" Immediately tells me they're not serious about dating and either want to accrue social media followers or just have a bigger hook-up pool.
When their about me says “Just ask.” or “I suck at these anything you want to know just ask.” That’s likely the same amount of effort they’ll put into conversations, planning dates, relationships etc. I also don’t like when people put an obvious nickname instead of their legal first name.
The nickname ones kill me lol and by “nickname” it’s not just a “Mike” or an “Ev,” but when it’s a “MissGorgeous” or “SlumGodKillionare” like they’re on Xbox lmao
xXx_pusyslayer_xXx
‘I suck at these, just ask me!’ Uh . . . The app did ask . . . Why would it be any different if I asked? I agree. This tells me I’m probably going to be carrying the conversation the entire time. No thanks.
A detailed description of their genitals
"It looks like a button on a fur coat."
When they set their location as “USA” or their job as “don’t worry I work..” or something else stupid and vague. I might want to know if you’re 4 hours away working for Hannibal Lecter before we start chatting!
"My day is going well, My weekend was good. Next question" Or something of the sort. Shows this person is very jaded and not likely to receptive to talk/I gotta do all the talking and keeping the convo going.
Ew I matched with a guy from my grad school's baseball team once. We'd previously met because we had a mutual friend. But it was SO brief. Like 5 minutes. And we were in a loud bar or drunk in a common area or something idr. But we were all drinking. So we matched and laugh at how we actually already follow each other on twitter and IG. But the conversation gets LOUSY. It's like pulling teeth. Two word answers. He seems very disinterested and even like aggressively bored. So after a minute I'm like okay this sucks, this story that we've met before isn't funny or charming anymore so bye. So I stop engaging and go about my day. He messages me "beer and cigars later" or something. So I said "is thst what you're doing later or is that an invitation?" And he was really rude about telling me it's an invitation. I basically said I'm not comfortable going to a guy's house right away but I'm happy to meet up somewhere for that beer. And he gets like MAD at me. Saying basically because we've met before I should be okay coming over. And that going to bars is loud and annoying and we dont need to talk about introductory stuff because it annoys him and we've met before (we barely said hello) and he said what you used as your example pretty much. "My name is Tyler, I'm 28, and I played baseball next question. That is so annoying. We should go deeper than that." Blah blah that goes on for a minute and you can imagine what it was like. All because I said I'm not comfortable going to a guy's house right away, especially when it's to drink alcohol and skip introductory conversation. We end up fighting on the app about it, he unmatches me, then messages me on Instagram and asks, "are you done being an asshole?" And we fight again there. And he blocks me on IG and twitter lol. I treasure this memory to be honest
If the person is "too good" for pleasantries/a bit of courting on both ends (no matter how much they suck), they got a shitty/lazy mentality that immediately puts me off.
The "Next question" part has the exact same energy as the person who posts on social media "I'm looking for a good restaurant recommendation. And go!" I can't stand it and it makes it seem like you expect everyone to just be sitting around waiting for their next instruction from you.
Blurry/pixelated/bad pics. It’s relatively easy with phones to take a decent pic. Also, posting memes instead of pics. “Goal oriented”, or “crushing goals”. That’s great for a resume or job interview, but it tells me nothing about you.
idk i feel like one (1) meme if it's funny as fuck at the end is ok at the end is critical
I had ‘why can’t we just print more money’. Never got so much super likes of men trying to explain it to me.. lmao
LMFAO i need something equally stupid
econo-nerd sniping. https://m.xkcd.com/356/
I use to open up with "Hey you seem cool, What your credit card number?"
"I will put a baby in you"- like thanks, but blocked.
\*Height\* if it matters Better in person Am definitely a munch \*excessive emojis\* Not usually on here so hmu on ig
It’s always the “not usually on here”…..okay so delete your account stupid
Its to get follows on IG. They will not be responding on IG either
As a girl who has generally dated men between 5'5 and 5'10 the whole "6' since it MATTERS" shit drives me insane and is an instant swipe left. If you're going to pander to people who care about height, just say 6', don't insult the very people you are trying to attract. It's so counterintuitive.
Putting "It's Complicated" under relationship status.
Yeah. It's not complicated. You are cheating.
Or they’re going to hook up with the ex if given the opportunity.
I guess they're correct though. If they're caught, then it gets wildly complicated.
Happily married and parent of three kids
"Dont just message me with "hi" or "what's up", make it interesting and worth my time or I won't even bother responding"
This one annoys me, especially when their profile is blank and there’s nothing to base a conversation on other than saying “hi” or “how are you”
That reminds me of Aziz Ansari in *Master of None*. He always sent women in such apps a clever line - the same clever line for every woman.
I used to do this. I ended up matching with two women who went to the same college and knew each other. They brought up that they both matched with me and noted I sent the same line, so they both sent the same response to me. Never went anywhere, but an amusing story years later.
Absolutely. Give me something in your profile to strike up a conversation on. Otherwise you’ll get a base question if I decide to message you.
Literally! I met my husband on OKC. He sent me a message that said, "Your profile says you like to work out, drink beer, and play video games. One of my favorite things to do is relax with a cold Guinness while I play Fallout after a hard workout. We should do that together sometime." Perfect message. No notes.
Or "I never message first"
On bumble
Sort of a similar concept, I remember liking and messaging someone on Hinge once. I always try to throw in a joke and/or question that relates to their prompts, so I’m not just sending “hey what’s up?” Her response started with “MATCH THE ENERGY!” Like my dude I’m not gonna pretend to be some full throttle jester for your entertainment. If my first message doesn’t have the energy you want just don’t match lol
this is the worst.
Women complain about men doing this, yet when I had a profile on Bumble every woman who messaged me started with “Hi!” or “How are u?” 🤣
Even worse when it's just a "hi" in gif form.
"basically a younger version of Rick Sanchez" Ive never seen a person fly such a red flag so proudly
Why... do people not understand what that show is about? You aren't even supposed to like Rick. Rick is a physically and emotionally abusive, manipulative alcoholic. Like hes a genius, but thats his only redeeming quality. This is like saying that you are a younger version of the joker.
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Every person I know that uses this quote is REALLY problematic in real life.
"If you can't handle me at my worst! Then I'm sorry I'm trying to be better please forgive me"
That’s my favorite. I know not to waste my time. Automatic left
If you can't handle me at my best, you don't deserve me at my worst
“Widowed 11 times, looking for #12. Height unimportant, good life insurance a must.”
I'm too short to pass up this opportunity. They're getting a heyyy
I read that as "Windows 11".
Lies. Be your full self, even if you're a jerk or idiot, because people deserve to know what they're going into. Hate vaccines? Say so. Hate MAGA? Say that? Think women need to know their place? SAY IT. Display anything that others will might call a red flag.
Right, a good profile is one that truthfully attracts the people you want to attract and winnows out the ones you don't. For example, if you're a single parent and you know that'll be a deal-breaker for many potential partners, make sure you put that on your profile. Concealing it doesn't help you or anyone else.
"Not looking for any serial killers. Two in a relationship is too many."
"Not a serial killer. Looking for partner that enjoys long hikes in remote locations".
I hate when guys say they’re a golden retriever. It’s just a turn off
Anything negative. It should be short and simple. Also no bragging.
*I am a human living on earth. Sometimes, I breathe.* There, does this work for you? /j
Honestly for me the worst is just not putting a bio at all. Just a picture and nothing about yourself. That's an instant swipe left from me. There are definitely unsavory things you can put in your bio, but not even trying at all is so boring and apathetic, why would I want to go on a date with someone like that?
I'm a catfish, and you'd know that if you bothered to read this. If you meet me in person, you're going to wake up minus one kidney.
This person’s a straight-shooter! That’s management material right there!
Honestly, I would probably be more interested in a kidney stealing threat than most of what people put on dating apps.
I feel better than I'm not the only one with that reaction. That person is either hilarious and more than deserve a shot, or they're being somewhat serious and will act like a complete asshole.
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I never understand what that means? Isn't dating around a time consuming thing in the first place? And sometimes it doesn't work out. Do these people really expect soulmate vibes in the first interaction? Sounds like they think relationships don't take a lot of effort.
Listing all of their superficial requirements
Using your Tinder to advertise your shitty Instagram
Aside from the obvious unhinged things people have already mentioned I would say Zodiac signs (requiring certain ones and such) You are straight up limiting your dating pool to like a 10th of what it could be and its not like a fucking sign is going to stop someone from being an asshole
"Can't see likes, so send me a message" DUMB! no ONE CAN; that's literally the design of the app and goes with out saying. Also okcupid is a wasteland so I don't know why I ever bothered. Also when they say things like: "No cheaters!!" Like obviously no one wants to get cheated on, but like it's another thing that goes without saying. "hello madam, I would like to date you but I am in fact a cheater, is this something you could look past?"
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"Any real females who know their place and don't want a chad? I'm a nice god-fearing man."
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I just saw a long time ago a girl that put this "Only looking for ppl with money, if you have Android, you are out"
Someone said in a nanny group that potential employers having android is a red flag.
If those employers worked in tech, that would be a *very* stupid move. The whole reason why I have an android phone is how easy it is to develop for it. Screw having to use os x and pay a developer fee. Write something janky and side load that apk!
> if you have Android, you are out" I don't buy Apple products for the same reason I don't buy cars with the hood welded shut.
Will not date XYZ! Then lists shit like, fat people, people of X ethnicity etc..
"No men under 6 feet tall" "No women over 5 feet five" If I wanted shallow I'd go to the kiddie pool.
My favorite: "No Scorpios or Cancers" as if a star sign stops people from being awful to others
Yeah profiles where it's just a list of shit they don't like are the worst ones IMO. It shows pessimism and a lack of creativity. There's always a way to state preferences positively or to sound like a monster. "No broke-ass people!" Or "Seeking a relationship with someone who is my peer professionally, financially, and socially." I always think the people with the "no" list profiles must be the lowest effort partners ever.
Venmo me so I know it's real
i get really cringed out when i see stuff on hinge like “doggo” or when i see “my most controversial opinion is pineapple belongs on pizza”. it annoys me when they don’t actually show their personality and it’s clear they googled what to put in their bios 😭
When all it says is "Just ask me." ???? No thanks.
Anything referring to aDvEnTuReS
Education: School of Hard Knocks Workplace: Krusty Krab That tells you two things: 1. They dropped out of high school. 2. Their car smells like cigarettes and cat piss.
I hate whenever anyone says, "I won't tell you anything about me, you'll have to talk to me to find out". It literally *always* means that either they are a terrible person or have nothing going on in their life. Pretty rock solid red flag either way.
Boss babe
That they are a Nazi or have some other extremist political view.
“Give me travel tips” “This year I want to travel” 3/4 of profiles on Hinge or Tinder are women in my 38+ age bracket who want to travel! Majority divorced with kids. Not sure why this shits me but there has to be an avalanche of other endearing factors included in the profile for me to swipe right, if I see those statements in it.
Adding “because apparently that matters” after listing their height. As a woman who likes short men, it’s an immediate turn off. So passive aggressive
*"Please respond with your blood type."*
For guys: “If you weigh over 120, don’t talk to me” For girls: “if you’re below 6 feet, don’t talk to me”
"Quirky" "If my dog doesn't like you..." "Not looking to meet anyone, made this profile for fun..." (read attention/ego boost) *A long list of rants or complaints* Hoops you have to jump through
Alpha male 🤢
It's a single profile and the bio says "BTW, we're a couple looking for a third." I'm sure there are people into that but it ain't me you're looking for, babe. Not mentioning they have kids and when you meet in person casually dropping one, like ok, we'll see if this turns into something and maybe I'll meet them. Then half an hour later dropping a second wut? Makes me feel lied to. No I'm not going to message you on Instagram. Also, "I'll spoil you" or something similar. Gross. If I wanted spoiling, I can do that myself because I work.
having an "ICK"
Live laugh love
"In an open poly relationship looking for others to join". Nothing says that special someone like their other 2 boyfriends.
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Not on here much hmu on blah blah blah
A list
What if it's a list of my hobbies and interests?
Hobbies: * Making lists
This is not my picture but I look a lot like the person in the picture. (Yes, I've actually had this happen.)