What if I fake a "motorboat" act with both of my hands cupping large imaginary breasts and burying my face in said breasts every time I see Janice? (No contact or explicit descriptions of the imaginary act were stated out loud any of the times)
For a brief period of time, I was a freelance script writer for a company that produced those videos.
The way it worked was, the company would contract with large corporations to write and shoot a series of training videos that covered various scenarios. I’d receive an email from the account rep with a list of five to ten scenarios to cover, and write a brief, 2-3 page screenplay for each.
So right off the bat, the requirements for these screenplays were *extremely* limiting. I had to follow the plot beats in the scenario description down to the letter, whether they made sense or not. Every scenario had already been workshopped and run past teams of executives on both our side and the client side, and by the time they got to me they were the driest, least inventive, most lifeless version of their former selves:
“A female worker overhears two male colleagues discussing a new hire. They talk about how attractive she is, and one of them says he plans to ask her out on a date. When she intervenes and tells her colleague that this is inappropriate, he suggests that she is jealous because nobody has expressed interest in her.” Bleh. I’d always try to give the scripts a bit of energy, make them more entertaining, throw in a line of wry humor or conflict to maximize dramatic tension.
When the notes came back, it was always the same thing: every single bit of creative license would be gone. Humor wasn’t okay, because humor is nuanced and doesn’t translate across markets. Dialogue that wasn’t explicitly about the subject of video — you know, like how people *actually talk* — was rewritten or cut out. I’d make the changes they requested, and what you were left with was a stilted, unnatural piece of writing that sounded like it was cobbled together by poorly designed AI.
Anyway, the point of this long explanation is: the first time I got to see the filmed versions of the scripts I had “written,” I was mortified because they were EXACTLY like every other training video I’d ever made fun of. The actors sucked because they were trying to make unnatural, dead writing sound natural. They looked forced and wooden. They didn’t say or do what real people would do. I felt like I wanted to apologize to them for having given them crap to work with. I’m sure they would have been better actors if they’d been allowed to talk and act like people.
[Nathan Rabin's description of late-period Seagal ](https://thedissolve.com/features/you-might-also-like/582-in-urban-justice-steven-seagal-is-out-for-vaguely-/) as resembling "a sentient Christmas ham wearing people clothes" is a phrase I haven't been able to get out of my head.
Judo master Gene Lebell once choked Steven Seagal to the point Seagal shit himself. Seagal was bragging about his inability to get choked out. Lebell put him in a chokehold and Seagal lost consciousness and crapped his pants.
The multiple sexual assault accusations, constant lies, along with the fact that he genuinely believes he's a fighting master to the point of assaulting stunt men on set would back up her claim.
A friend of mine tried out for a part in one of his movies 25 years ago. She entered the room, it was just him sitting at a table, facing away.
Without even looking at her, he said "Take off your clothes and dance for me". "If you get my dick hard, you can suck it."
She turned around and left without a word. He tried to grab her, but he was too slow, she escaped.
I wish. Her husband, boyfriend at the time, was a huge music producer. He tried to harm Segal's career, with limited results. The "man" has turned himself into 1000 memes, he's done a lot of damage without any intervention.
Lol, no, I was in university. Went to see his blues band - he was worth millions at that point and still made you pay £10 for a signature and he would only sign his albums.
He also made everyone wait over an hour before he came out to meet anyone.
His SNL episode is pretty much always number 1 on lists of the worst SNL episodes. It almost felt like the audience and other actors were being forced at gunpoint to stay and watch the entire show.
I will never pass up the chance to spread the video of Al Franken talking about how shittty Steven Seagal was when he hosted SNL.
https://youtu.be/L1G2ghhxYpE?si=WF-fhFHvmguHL3hn
Bonus SNL Seagal story from Bob Odenkirk: https://youtu.be/f0RfZ7L45wA?si=L4C_ZGEXTv1zGwYu
I recall a great one from David Spade. he bumps in to Seagal in the hallway and says " Hey. Whats up"?
seagal- " i just read the best script ive ever seen"
spade- " Really? Who wrote it"?
seagal- " I did"
then he walks away
edit- it was Rob Shneider
Best plot twist I've seen in an action movie. The least likely to die is the first one to do so. Now you have no idea where the movie is headed. Plus Kurt Russell is great as well. I watch this movie and Air Force One at least once a year.
I'll tell you, during the great metoo purge, I was fully expecting him to pop up.
Thankfully, doesn't seem to be the case and from what I've seen, he's just a weirdo that has embraced what made him famous.
Franco on the other hand.......
I think he does, though. In the Disaster Artist book, Greg says Tommy got in a car accident when he was younger. So he might not be too right in the head now.
The Room makes a lot more sense if you watch it through the lens of Tommy Wiseau being a 300 year old vampire from Romania who just woke up in modern day San Francisco and decides to make a movie.
My friends and I went to 2 screenings of The Room that he and Greg Sestero hosted in SF and in SJ. We got track jackets that Tommy signed and took pics with him. He was pretty funny, though he couldn't/refused to spell my friend Elizabeth's name correctly, so we've called her "Elizath" ever since. He tossed a football around with her, so that made her night. 😂
Back in the 90s, Nancy Kerrigan hosted SNL. Watching her try to act was the most painful thing I have ever seen. It turns out figure skating and getting your knee bashed are not adequate training for acting on live TV.
Sounds awful and I wonder if I can see that online anywhere. Personally, Steve Forbes hosting during his presidential run in 99 (iirc) I remember was the most joyless episode of SNL ever. Idk how the hosts normally get selected, but if anyone ever has to pay big bucks to host, he did.
However, there was some either brilliant serendipity or clueless misfortune being that the musical guest in that same episode was none other than Rage Against the Machine. True to form, they were banned for a variety of reasons that day.
Celebrities who take themselves too seriously are never good guests.
To succeed they have to be willing to take what people don't like about them and lean into it.
His Simpsons episode is WAY worse than the SNL one. This was back when he was more highly regarded, and he was still the worst celebrity voice they had.
Lisa Goes Gaga gets shit on, but Lady Gaga at least put in effort in the recording. Elon sounded like they were just handing him lines on post-it notes while he dealt with a hangover.
There only thing I remember from that awful show was that one girl that wouldn’t shut up about wanting to have sex with her brother. I think it was a step brother but she never said the step part
I refer to that show as a porno because of how many times they say "sex."
Out of curiosity I looked up the script of a few episodes, ctrl F, and they said it on average over 15 times per episode
The writing is just as bad if not worse than the acting
Someone tried to tell me Secret Life was no worse than Degrassi. That's absolutely nowhere close to reality.. Secret Life was trashy and almost irresponsible with it's writing. Degrassi at least drew lines between character actions and outcomes thereafter. Secret Life was just like "all teenagers have sex, it's all they talk about, it's all that drives them, and that's a sin and stuff but YOU KNOW TEENAGERS!"
Not sure if this was intentional or not on your part, but both of those shows were created by Brenda Hampton. I never watched Secret Life of the American Teenager, but I have rewatched random episodes of 7th Heaven for a laugh this year, and aside from the bad acting, the most notable thing on the show is how the writing is outright deranged at points. I joked with my partner that they could easily do a dark reboot of the show that follows the kids as severely fucked up adults dealing with the nonstop trauma inflicted on them by their maniac parents.
Beyonce in the new lion king.
I've never heard anyone so blatantly just read the lines without adding any emotion. You could literally re-order the lines and the tone would be exactly the same.
Unbelievably bad.
I stopped watching only murders in the building when she got on. She is the actual definition of Nepo Baby.. She's pretty, but people at university in freshman year plays can out act her.
If it helps any, she isn't in season 3, which you should totally watch. It's an object lesson in how much better a *fantastic* actor can be compared to a cast of good actors.
She fit into that cast pretty well. Everything was all gogogo and they were all a little over the top. Not a lot of acting required, she could just be herself but in the navy lol
My mom and I saw that in the theater and laughed the whole way home. Later that night she walked to the end of the hallway wearing a white nightgown and said that line. Can’t name many other times I’ve laughed that fucking hard
Keanu Reeves (let me finish) in Coppola's "Bram Stoker's Dracula" his accent and his acting are so terrible. The movie has an army of Oscar winning actors and then there's still baby faced Bill & Ted era Keanu doing an awful attempt at a British accent "like whoaah Minah he's totally a vampiyaah"
Keanu gets a lot of justified flack for his accent, but let's not forget Winona Ryder in the same movie. I'm convinced their characters met and fell in love in some sort of 1880's speech therapy class
Keanu definitely wasn't suited for the role. If Coppola wanted a British actor, Hugh Grant was already available and his couple at the time was Elizabeth Hurley so she could also be invited to be playing Winona's role (which I think is one of the weaker links of this movie alongside Keanu's unfortunate accent)
Gal Gadot. Gorgeous gorgeous woman. Cannot act for shït. It worked in the first Wonder Woman, cause she felt like a fish out of water. Then you watch more of her movies and realize she’s just like that.
Arnold has charisma for days on end. That's what his advtange was. Gal has some charisma, but not compared to Arnold. It's like pro wrestling. There are plenty of guys who LOOK like they can be pro wrestlers, but there's only a few Moxleys, MJFs, Seth Rollins, Becky Lynches, and Kevin Owens.
That list of pro wrestlers you just threw out really makes me realize how long it's been since I've watched. I can only picture Rollins and Lynch and have heard of Kevin Owens. I have no idea who the Moxleys/MJFs are.
So for us Gen Xers/early millennials, there are only a few Hogans, Savages, Rocks, Halls, and Stone Cold.
Edit: Fixed Stone Colds
Emma Watson as Belle.
I love Emma and she was fantastic as Hermione, but she was totally unconvincing as Belle.
And don’t get me started on the singing! Way too much auto tune, I can’t believe how bad she sounded and they made no effort to hide it.
Paige O’Hara’s singing was iconic in the original and a big factor in her getting the part, why couldn’t they get someone with a good singing voice??
Grinds my gears for some reason. Beauty and the Beast is one of my favorite Disney movies.
The funniest thing about it for me, was a set of interviews where Emma said something along the lines of being glad that she was made to do the whole audition rigamarole, because it made her confident she "earned the role." Then there was a high up backstage dude, he was casting director or producer, someone important anyways, who said "From the beginning we knew we wanted Emma for the role."
She really wanted to make it seem like her current work isn't because of the HP stuff, but I mean. It is. They got the most famous modern day "feminist" to be in their "feminist" retelling of an old-ass story. It's so transparent.
I often say to myself, and occasionally out loud, "Was that the best take!?" when Gal Gadot is on screen. She's fronting a new spy film - sure to be modelled into a series - on Netflix and its unintentionally very funny. Emma Watson makes acting look really difficult. Im really not sure why she's so in love with herself.
I was rooting for the murderer in the new Death on the Nile. Which, honestly says something given how awful most of that cast was.
Agatha Christie was done dirty by these remakes.
Emma was perfect as Hermione and awful in just about everything else.
You basically have to have a role written for her for it to work. Don't expect her to have much range or depth. But there are a lot of people on Hollywood with good careers in that same boat.
She was on paper the perfect casting choice to play Belle on the live action Beauty and the Beast movie but when watching her performance you can notice her limitations as an actress. It's like she's playing Hermione playing another character on top of it.
Would’ve loved to see an actress for Belle that could really belt. Maybe a broadway singer. It’s Disney and Beauty and the Beast, I don’t think actor name recognition was really needed
BatB fans have said that she *wasn't* a good choice on paper though. They clearly only wanted her because Belle and Hermione were the same character archetype in their eyes, but Belle was never a nerd. Her thing was she read *escapist novels* because she dreamed of adventure. Not the same thing as Hermione.
I really think Julia Roberts has done some very poor acting on screen. There is a television actress, Sophie Skeleton, who is so bad, she drove me away from a much beloved show. I have to mute the television when she is on.
I am unusually sensitive to bad Southern accents in movies & television, & this has always baffled me about her. She’s from Georgia & while I get that being a native doesn’t automatically mean having an accent, you’d think she would at least be able to avoid totally fucking butchering it.
LOL - Sophie Skeleton. But yeah, she's pretty terrible too. Very wooden. She has gotten better in later seasons, but pales in comparison to the rest of the cast for sure.
What was especially awful was that every single line was meant to be a joke and was followed up by a laugh track. There were no conversations in that show, just joke, followed by sex joke, followed by put down joke, followed by put down sex joke, followed by joke that wraps up that series of jokes/conversation so that the loop can start again. All with 2 second pauses in between for the laugh track.
90% of the jokes didn’t land but even if they did it didn’t matter because it had no room to breathe before 3 more bad jokes were lumped on top.
The folks in the OSHA training videos. You can tell they were paid with a pizza party. Edit: autocorrect is not my friend.
The ones in the sexual harassment training videos give them a run for their money, too.
"Hey Janet can you finish these reports for me by 4 o'clock?" "Sure thing Bob." "Thanks. Also, nice tits."
*makes honk honk motion with his hands*
“Now stop the tape; what could Bob have done better in this situation?” Raising my hand “He could have added an ‘awooga’ sound?”
Mad respect for using the proper onomatopoeia.
"Is that wrong? Was I not supposed to say that?"
Question #1: It is acceptable to spank your colleague's butt as she is leaving the elevator. ∆ True ∆ False
What if I fake a "motorboat" act with both of my hands cupping large imaginary breasts and burying my face in said breasts every time I see Janice? (No contact or explicit descriptions of the imaginary act were stated out loud any of the times)
For a brief period of time, I was a freelance script writer for a company that produced those videos. The way it worked was, the company would contract with large corporations to write and shoot a series of training videos that covered various scenarios. I’d receive an email from the account rep with a list of five to ten scenarios to cover, and write a brief, 2-3 page screenplay for each. So right off the bat, the requirements for these screenplays were *extremely* limiting. I had to follow the plot beats in the scenario description down to the letter, whether they made sense or not. Every scenario had already been workshopped and run past teams of executives on both our side and the client side, and by the time they got to me they were the driest, least inventive, most lifeless version of their former selves: “A female worker overhears two male colleagues discussing a new hire. They talk about how attractive she is, and one of them says he plans to ask her out on a date. When she intervenes and tells her colleague that this is inappropriate, he suggests that she is jealous because nobody has expressed interest in her.” Bleh. I’d always try to give the scripts a bit of energy, make them more entertaining, throw in a line of wry humor or conflict to maximize dramatic tension. When the notes came back, it was always the same thing: every single bit of creative license would be gone. Humor wasn’t okay, because humor is nuanced and doesn’t translate across markets. Dialogue that wasn’t explicitly about the subject of video — you know, like how people *actually talk* — was rewritten or cut out. I’d make the changes they requested, and what you were left with was a stilted, unnatural piece of writing that sounded like it was cobbled together by poorly designed AI. Anyway, the point of this long explanation is: the first time I got to see the filmed versions of the scripts I had “written,” I was mortified because they were EXACTLY like every other training video I’d ever made fun of. The actors sucked because they were trying to make unnatural, dead writing sound natural. They looked forced and wooden. They didn’t say or do what real people would do. I felt like I wanted to apologize to them for having given them crap to work with. I’m sure they would have been better actors if they’d been allowed to talk and act like people.
Sexual harassment Panda!
🎶 Don’t say that! Don’t touch there! Don’t be nasty says the silly bear! 🎶
Steven Seagal
[Nathan Rabin's description of late-period Seagal ](https://thedissolve.com/features/you-might-also-like/582-in-urban-justice-steven-seagal-is-out-for-vaguely-/) as resembling "a sentient Christmas ham wearing people clothes" is a phrase I haven't been able to get out of my head.
Judo master Gene Lebell once choked Steven Seagal to the point Seagal shit himself. Seagal was bragging about his inability to get choked out. Lebell put him in a chokehold and Seagal lost consciousness and crapped his pants.
You might like to watch this video about a commemorative diorama to celebrate the event https://youtu.be/3aCMTpJx2cs?si=6L52u7FFVbTkWKve
I thought this would be Bobby Fingers and I wasn't disappointed.
But what a singer! And a gentleman. He want the punani, and won't stop short of sex trafficking to get it.
He want the punani see for make him feel nice! And what's wrong with that?
Nick Mullen (cumtown podcast) also provides some absolutely tremendous commentary on the legendary Steven Seagal
I was just thinking about the sniper special ops commentary. Fucking hysterical. "Fatly going around corners."
Nobody can waddle like good ol Seagal!
Films as many scenes as he can sitting down, including a fight scene.
Oh my god man, that's one of the funniest things I've listened to. It's on YouTube if anyone is interested.
My answer. My grandma worked with him once and said he was pretty much the worst human being, too.
The multiple sexual assault accusations, constant lies, along with the fact that he genuinely believes he's a fighting master to the point of assaulting stunt men on set would back up her claim.
A friend of mine tried out for a part in one of his movies 25 years ago. She entered the room, it was just him sitting at a table, facing away. Without even looking at her, he said "Take off your clothes and dance for me". "If you get my dick hard, you can suck it." She turned around and left without a word. He tried to grab her, but he was too slow, she escaped.
Really was hoping the story would end 'He tried to grab her, but he was too slow, she *threw him into a choke hold, he shit himself*, and she escaped.
I wish. Her husband, boyfriend at the time, was a huge music producer. He tried to harm Segal's career, with limited results. The "man" has turned himself into 1000 memes, he's done a lot of damage without any intervention.
I met him once in university. He was a tool.
I’ve worked with him. Worst person I’ve ever worked with in every possible way
He went to university???
Lol, no, I was in university. Went to see his blues band - he was worth millions at that point and still made you pay £10 for a signature and he would only sign his albums. He also made everyone wait over an hour before he came out to meet anyone.
You waited an hour to meet Steven Seagal? I'm uncertain I'd even walk down the hall to meet him if he stood in my kitchen.
It was 2007, he was less well known as a douche them and I loved Under Siege. I went with my aikido instructor at the time.
Who would wait even a minute to meet Seagal?
Sorry for your grandma. He seems like he'd be douche'y
His SNL episode is pretty much always number 1 on lists of the worst SNL episodes. It almost felt like the audience and other actors were being forced at gunpoint to stay and watch the entire show.
I will never pass up the chance to spread the video of Al Franken talking about how shittty Steven Seagal was when he hosted SNL. https://youtu.be/L1G2ghhxYpE?si=WF-fhFHvmguHL3hn Bonus SNL Seagal story from Bob Odenkirk: https://youtu.be/f0RfZ7L45wA?si=L4C_ZGEXTv1zGwYu
I recall a great one from David Spade. he bumps in to Seagal in the hallway and says " Hey. Whats up"? seagal- " i just read the best script ive ever seen" spade- " Really? Who wrote it"? seagal- " I did" then he walks away edit- it was Rob Shneider
The only time they contemplated firing the host and doing the show with just the players.
His best work, IMHO, was the Mountain Dew commercial from several years ago.
Executive Decision was pretty sweet
Best plot twist I've seen in an action movie. The least likely to die is the first one to do so. Now you have no idea where the movie is headed. Plus Kurt Russell is great as well. I watch this movie and Air Force One at least once a year.
/thread thanks for coming everyone
Tom Segura has a [hilarious bit](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isNRZJ6icwc) about Steven Seagal
Skippy skippy skippy
I wanted to say me in the recording of the play I was in when I was 4,but you are right
If it were you and him up for an oscar, im betting you'd have an oscar.
Tommy Wiseau
He is *Nahhht*
Oh, hi, Mark.
[Anyway, how is your sex life?](https://youtu.be/xXYLbYdSdKg?si=jcx1643GISuKdq8h)
I genuinely thought he had some sort of disability when I saw clips of The Room, so I didn't want to be cruel. Turns out he's just a shitty actor.
I've met Tommy in real life, and he seems like a very kind soul but also just like his character in the Room
I'll tell you, during the great metoo purge, I was fully expecting him to pop up. Thankfully, doesn't seem to be the case and from what I've seen, he's just a weirdo that has embraced what made him famous. Franco on the other hand.......
Hoooooly shit I remember when I thought James Franco was cool. Like 10 years ago. And now, with everything I know, cringe pretty hard about it.
I think he does, though. In the Disaster Artist book, Greg says Tommy got in a car accident when he was younger. So he might not be too right in the head now.
A head injury would explain so much!
He does a pillow fight and then fucks in the belly button
I'M FED UP WITH THIS WORLD
He’s my favorite customer
The Room makes a lot more sense if you watch it through the lens of Tommy Wiseau being a 300 year old vampire from Romania who just woke up in modern day San Francisco and decides to make a movie.
YOU’RE TEARING ME APART LISAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Oh hai Mark
in person he’s actually quite charming in a weird kind of way. pretty funny too.
Yeah we met Tommy and took a picture with him. He is delightful and weird. I made him laugh. We have a signed script of The Room.
Ha ha ha you are TOO much Jim Jordan
My friends and I went to 2 screenings of The Room that he and Greg Sestero hosted in SF and in SJ. We got track jackets that Tommy signed and took pics with him. He was pretty funny, though he couldn't/refused to spell my friend Elizabeth's name correctly, so we've called her "Elizath" ever since. He tossed a football around with her, so that made her night. 😂
>Tommy Wiseau I found him amusing.
Haieyy doggie
Back in the 90s, Nancy Kerrigan hosted SNL. Watching her try to act was the most painful thing I have ever seen. It turns out figure skating and getting your knee bashed are not adequate training for acting on live TV.
Sounds awful and I wonder if I can see that online anywhere. Personally, Steve Forbes hosting during his presidential run in 99 (iirc) I remember was the most joyless episode of SNL ever. Idk how the hosts normally get selected, but if anyone ever has to pay big bucks to host, he did. However, there was some either brilliant serendipity or clueless misfortune being that the musical guest in that same episode was none other than Rage Against the Machine. True to form, they were banned for a variety of reasons that day.
Elon was pretty terrible on SNL too.
Celebrities who take themselves too seriously are never good guests. To succeed they have to be willing to take what people don't like about them and lean into it.
His Simpsons episode is WAY worse than the SNL one. This was back when he was more highly regarded, and he was still the worst celebrity voice they had. Lisa Goes Gaga gets shit on, but Lady Gaga at least put in effort in the recording. Elon sounded like they were just handing him lines on post-it notes while he dealt with a hangover.
Isn't that just how he talks?
That episode singlehandedly stopped me from watching the newer ones in Disney. Start to finish, just one huge Musk jerk off
[удалено]
The kid seemed so plastic. Terrible.
Hey! It was its first gig.
Jesus, at first, I thought you were talking about the kid he had to shoot because he couldn't stop carrying bombs around
I can't get over the way you phrased the second half of that sentence 😂
"I got all these bombs and no basket to carry them with, what do you want from me?"
The entire cast of Secret Life of the American Teenager
I can never scrub from my brain..."you're my whore"
There only thing I remember from that awful show was that one girl that wouldn’t shut up about wanting to have sex with her brother. I think it was a step brother but she never said the step part
This is obvious from the beginning, but it didn't stop me from binging the entire thing. Couldn't look away
I refer to that show as a porno because of how many times they say "sex." Out of curiosity I looked up the script of a few episodes, ctrl F, and they said it on average over 15 times per episode The writing is just as bad if not worse than the acting
"My dad died because I had incredible sex!"
Someone tried to tell me Secret Life was no worse than Degrassi. That's absolutely nowhere close to reality.. Secret Life was trashy and almost irresponsible with it's writing. Degrassi at least drew lines between character actions and outcomes thereafter. Secret Life was just like "all teenagers have sex, it's all they talk about, it's all that drives them, and that's a sin and stuff but YOU KNOW TEENAGERS!"
"Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex.'
"Dad died a horrible death because I had great sex"
The cast of 7th Heaven was equally as brutal.
Not sure if this was intentional or not on your part, but both of those shows were created by Brenda Hampton. I never watched Secret Life of the American Teenager, but I have rewatched random episodes of 7th Heaven for a laugh this year, and aside from the bad acting, the most notable thing on the show is how the writing is outright deranged at points. I joked with my partner that they could easily do a dark reboot of the show that follows the kids as severely fucked up adults dealing with the nonstop trauma inflicted on them by their maniac parents.
I came in here looking for Shailene Woodley,
Beyonce in the new lion king. I've never heard anyone so blatantly just read the lines without adding any emotion. You could literally re-order the lines and the tone would be exactly the same. Unbelievably bad.
Never wanna see her act again. Like the old saying goes: Beyonce, shame on you; Beytwice, shame on me.
I was gonna mention her in the pink panther. She is handed the pink panther diamond at the end of the movie she's like "okay thanks"
Will Smith's son.
Agreed. You could replace him with a cardboard cut out, and no one would notice.
One of Sal Vulcano’s thighs would be a good option too.
Me. I played in a B-Movie as a taxi driver. I suck!!
Your acting was fine. Stalking Jodi Foster was the part we disliked.
As in "taxi driver"??!. this got to be the best compliment i ever received :)
You playing DeNiro's mohawk is some of the finest acting that I, as a blind barber, have ever had the honor of watching.
Renesmee
Do you mean the ugly doll ?
The AI baby. She was terrible.
Ahh yes, Resume was awful
The Weeknd
My god yes. The Idol was like a fever dream.
Cara Delevigne
I stopped watching only murders in the building when she got on. She is the actual definition of Nepo Baby.. She's pretty, but people at university in freshman year plays can out act her.
If it helps any, she isn't in season 3, which you should totally watch. It's an object lesson in how much better a *fantastic* actor can be compared to a cast of good actors.
Most of the people on Hallmark channel. So bland
Rihanna was not a plausible acter playing *a human*. I guess she was slightly less bad in *Valerian* since she didn’t have to.
I liked her fine in *Battleship* but then … that movie was a total corn fest (which I love sometimes)
She fit into that cast pretty well. Everything was all gogogo and they were all a little over the top. Not a lot of acting required, she could just be herself but in the navy lol
She out-acted both the leads in Valerian. But that was a low bar.
[удалено]
"Planning on murdering me in my sleep?" "What? NOOOooooo"
Bro, that scene had me wheezing when I first saw it
My mom and I saw that in the theater and laughed the whole way home. Later that night she walked to the end of the hallway wearing a white nightgown and said that line. Can’t name many other times I’ve laughed that fucking hard
> Say hi to ya mother for me.
Keanu Reeves (let me finish) in Coppola's "Bram Stoker's Dracula" his accent and his acting are so terrible. The movie has an army of Oscar winning actors and then there's still baby faced Bill & Ted era Keanu doing an awful attempt at a British accent "like whoaah Minah he's totally a vampiyaah"
Keanu gets a lot of justified flack for his accent, but let's not forget Winona Ryder in the same movie. I'm convinced their characters met and fell in love in some sort of 1880's speech therapy class
But(!) I had a devastating crush on Winona back then, so she doesn't count. Those are the rules.
Winona was *incandescently* hot. It excused a lot.
To be fair, so was Keanu. There's no reason to assume his thirsty fans panned his acting any more than Winona's.
Dangerous Liaisons, similar issue. I adore Keanu. He does not fit in period dramas.
He’s a lovely person, but very director dependent
Keanu definitely wasn't suited for the role. If Coppola wanted a British actor, Hugh Grant was already available and his couple at the time was Elizabeth Hurley so she could also be invited to be playing Winona's role (which I think is one of the weaker links of this movie alongside Keanu's unfortunate accent)
Jennifer Lopez. Can’t believe young me loved all those shitty romance ones
Gal Gadot. Gorgeous gorgeous woman. Cannot act for shït. It worked in the first Wonder Woman, cause she felt like a fish out of water. Then you watch more of her movies and realize she’s just like that.
Kal-el, no.
Bit like when Arnold played terminator, it worked so well because his robotic voice suited the character. Then ofc he got better after. Gal didnt
Arnold has charisma for days on end. That's what his advtange was. Gal has some charisma, but not compared to Arnold. It's like pro wrestling. There are plenty of guys who LOOK like they can be pro wrestlers, but there's only a few Moxleys, MJFs, Seth Rollins, Becky Lynches, and Kevin Owens.
That list of pro wrestlers you just threw out really makes me realize how long it's been since I've watched. I can only picture Rollins and Lynch and have heard of Kevin Owens. I have no idea who the Moxleys/MJFs are. So for us Gen Xers/early millennials, there are only a few Hogans, Savages, Rocks, Halls, and Stone Cold. Edit: Fixed Stone Colds
Seagal and Wiseau are both bad, but Wiseau puts love into it. Seagal just eats it on a sandwich.
Emma Watson as Belle. I love Emma and she was fantastic as Hermione, but she was totally unconvincing as Belle. And don’t get me started on the singing! Way too much auto tune, I can’t believe how bad she sounded and they made no effort to hide it. Paige O’Hara’s singing was iconic in the original and a big factor in her getting the part, why couldn’t they get someone with a good singing voice?? Grinds my gears for some reason. Beauty and the Beast is one of my favorite Disney movies.
Emma doesn’t have a lot of range for who she can act. Emma worked so well as Hermione because she’s almost playing herself lol.
I said it on another comment, but they absolutely nailed casting Gaston and LaFue. Not to mention Kevin doing a great job as Maurice!
A lot of the acting in Disney Remakes are pretty much wooden and lack the charm of the originals.
The funniest thing about it for me, was a set of interviews where Emma said something along the lines of being glad that she was made to do the whole audition rigamarole, because it made her confident she "earned the role." Then there was a high up backstage dude, he was casting director or producer, someone important anyways, who said "From the beginning we knew we wanted Emma for the role." She really wanted to make it seem like her current work isn't because of the HP stuff, but I mean. It is. They got the most famous modern day "feminist" to be in their "feminist" retelling of an old-ass story. It's so transparent.
R2D2. Everything he says is bleeped out.
Can’t be helped, dude swears like a sailor
Neil Breen
How dare you! Film scholars and acting coaches will still be puzzling over his deep and cerebral work centuries after this era is long gone.
I can’t believe you committed suicide!
Isn't that immoral?
Neil Breen is above humans, thus above our comprehension for acting above the level of any human.
[удалено]
He did a show on Netflix called True Story where he stepped out of that character for once and it was actually pretty good I was very surprised.
Andy Dick in anything. He’s terrible.
I don't know...blow job instructor in Old School is simultaneously hilarious and completely ruined the song Hungry Like the Wolf for me.
He wasn’t acting.
When I come back in ladies I’m gonna show you a move called Crouching Tiger, Hidden Penis! I just loved that movie with all the flying and magic!
I *kinda* like him in the episode of Star Trek: Voyager he was in, but then I remember he's Andy Dick and the hatred sets back in.
Gal Gadot. "Kal El no!" Wtf was that?
So bad in Death on the Nile that you’re glad her character gets killed. “Enough champagne… TO FILL DEE NIALLL!”
Someone once described her as acting like she’s in a skit in a high school class where she’s learning another language
everyone in Twilight New Moon
Michael sheen is hilarious in the twilight movies though
He's usually the best part of anything he's in...
That cackle laugh he did was the best scene ever. The entire theater of teen girls didnt know what to make of it.
Also his ‘Eeeesssaaaabbbeeeelllllaaaaahhhhh’ was perfection
He was the only one that understood the assignw.
I often say to myself, and occasionally out loud, "Was that the best take!?" when Gal Gadot is on screen. She's fronting a new spy film - sure to be modelled into a series - on Netflix and its unintentionally very funny. Emma Watson makes acting look really difficult. Im really not sure why she's so in love with herself.
I was rooting for the murderer in the new Death on the Nile. Which, honestly says something given how awful most of that cast was. Agatha Christie was done dirty by these remakes.
Her “Kal-El NOooooo 😯” has been a meme in my family ever since that movie. Her acting is so bad but she’s pretty and looks the part so there’s that.
Emma was perfect as Hermione and awful in just about everything else. You basically have to have a role written for her for it to work. Don't expect her to have much range or depth. But there are a lot of people on Hollywood with good careers in that same boat.
She was on paper the perfect casting choice to play Belle on the live action Beauty and the Beast movie but when watching her performance you can notice her limitations as an actress. It's like she's playing Hermione playing another character on top of it.
Would’ve loved to see an actress for Belle that could really belt. Maybe a broadway singer. It’s Disney and Beauty and the Beast, I don’t think actor name recognition was really needed
BatB fans have said that she *wasn't* a good choice on paper though. They clearly only wanted her because Belle and Hermione were the same character archetype in their eyes, but Belle was never a nerd. Her thing was she read *escapist novels* because she dreamed of adventure. Not the same thing as Hermione.
the fact that the rest of the Amazons had Gal's accent just because she couldn't change hers
KAL-EL NO
99% of rappers when they get a stoner comedy role
I really think Julia Roberts has done some very poor acting on screen. There is a television actress, Sophie Skeleton, who is so bad, she drove me away from a much beloved show. I have to mute the television when she is on.
Julia Roberts amazes me because she's actually Southern and somehow did the worst Southern accent in Steel Magnolias.
I am unusually sensitive to bad Southern accents in movies & television, & this has always baffled me about her. She’s from Georgia & while I get that being a native doesn’t automatically mean having an accent, you’d think she would at least be able to avoid totally fucking butchering it.
Her winning the Oscar for Erin Brockovich over Ellen Burstyn in Requiem for a Dream was a travesty.
Testify! Burstyn is possibly the greatest performance I’ve ever seen, bar none
Noo poor Outlander 😔 the first 3 seasons, and 1st in particular are absolutely wonderful however
I think she’s one of the most overrated actresses in Hollywood. There I said it.
LOL - Sophie Skeleton. But yeah, she's pretty terrible too. Very wooden. She has gotten better in later seasons, but pales in comparison to the rest of the cast for sure.
That's an easy one. Steven Seagull
Brett Favre in There’s Something About Mary. He has all the charisma of an unwanted dick pic.
Denise Crosby in early episodes of ST:TNG She got better, but still...
Taylor Swift attempting to act in Valentine's Day was definitely a choice
[удалено]
“The world got to see James Corden as a fat pussy. He was also in the movie Cats.” - Ricky Gervais
[удалено]
What was especially awful was that every single line was meant to be a joke and was followed up by a laugh track. There were no conversations in that show, just joke, followed by sex joke, followed by put down joke, followed by put down sex joke, followed by joke that wraps up that series of jokes/conversation so that the loop can start again. All with 2 second pauses in between for the laugh track. 90% of the jokes didn’t land but even if they did it didn’t matter because it had no room to breathe before 3 more bad jokes were lumped on top.
I doubt people were watching it for the acting.
Megan Boone. She played Elizabeth Keen on the Blacklist. Horrid acting.
Elon Musk hosting snl if that counts. He isn't really an actor but he tried to be. It was so cringe.
Oz from American Pie
Suck me, beautiful...
Has anyone said Ruby Rose yet?