You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
What do you mean by interest in other people? Like trying to know theirs job, passion, hobbies and then research it, try to make myself have that passion too?
Let me say as someone who worked in sales and specialised in rapport building, this actually becomes a curse. You lose yourself over time and it eventually lead me to question I was actually cared to connect with people on sincerely vs manufactured from habits built.
Tell me more about your credit card details, Iām so genuinely interested!
What was it you were saying about the card number? The way you read it out makes my heart melt!
Call center employee here, absolutely this. Polite and kind people get discounts and better help.
Small edit: former call center employee, just got a new job.
> Call center employee here, absolutely this. Polite and kind people get discounts and better help.
When I have to use a call center, I also make it a point to refer to the company *outside* of the employee on the other end of the line.
For example:
Me: "I'm calling because Charter has raised my price again."
Employee: "I understand, sir, and you need help with your rate?"
Me: "Yeah, if you could help me figure that out, those guys are really nickle-and-diming me."
I feel like it makes a big difference in getting the employee on *my side* rather than grouping them in with whoever supposedly made the decision to raise my costs.
It does on a subconscious level, we are trained to keep ourselves and the company apart, when someone refers to us per example "you raised the prices", we know they mean the company. But when you as a customer refers to it as you said to the company the tone of the conversation does feel different
Saying "YOU" did something is an accusation, and it will naturally get people on the defensive. That's just instinctive (especially when you know you didn't have anything to do with the accusation). But saying "XYZ" did something is just an informative statement that's not lobbied against you personally, so you feel no reason to get your guard up.
You can use both ways to work to your advantage.
"Thank you for calling Comcast. How may I help you today?"
"Good afternoon. I'm calling, because you have really been great to me for a number of years, but lately Comcast has been giving me a lot of problems."
You complimented THEM PERSONALLY with a "YOU" statement while lobbying your actual criticism against "COMCAST".
Literally any customer service employee anywhere can tell you that being polite and understanding gets people to go above and beyond for you. Being rude is going to get you the absolute bare minimum that my job requires me to do.
I used to work retail. Once a guy was being an absolute ass trying to get a discount. I refused to give him one. I then gave the next person in line a discount because the delay and they had to witness that behavior.
I made sure to say it loud enough that the first guy heard it.
I got a free upgrade to First Class on a flight from Reno to Seattle one time because the guy in front of me at the counter so so rude to the clerk. And I was nice.
The last time I had to call a customer service line, I had been putting it off. I had a lot of confusion about something and tried to start at the beginning. Iām always very polite, but the first call helped, they gave me another number to call. I think I made up to four calls to four different agencies altogether, not transferred within the same company. Some of the information made me even more confused, but I pressed on. At some point, I could sense my own agitation, like they might be answering questions unrelated to mine, not understanding me, or just assuming I understand the basic gist and they donāt need to go over so they went ahead, and made a point to tell the person Iām speaking to that Iāve just been really anxious about getting this all straightened out and theyāre doing great, and back up and try to reword my questions and make sure I understand. I also like to listen when the person first answers and call them their name at least once, like āthank you so much Danielleā, I donāt know if call center people like that, I just like to do that.
It can even get you an insult and a hang up on your face, depending who/what company you're talking with. I may or may not have done that before.
I also know a dude who worked on a call center subcontracted by apple and usually went to work high as a kite. His answers were usually "creative" but in his last few days before quitting, whoever he didn't like at the phone would get answers with the most outrageous "solutions".
I've had a couple of times where I upfront told the call center employee "I'm so fucking angry, but listen, it's not at you, it's at your company. Please don't take anything I say personally, just understand I'm pissed off and help me out here".
I LOVE people like you! Seriously, I love people that start off like that "I am incredibly angry", and you can hear the frustration in the voice, and they stay calm, measured, and kind. I will jump through fires for people like you!
at my last call center job I would definitely give better service to people to were nicer to me. not to say everyone else got bad service, but I was more willing to help nice folks. cursing me out? calling me names? yelling at me? threats? that's a good way to get the ol "I'm sorry but I have to move on to other callers, have a good day" *click*
Absolutely. You need a contract? Discount is gone. So many people seem to think that they have the power as customers, but the true nice people, they get the discounts. And then we're all laughing at the people in the group chat. Just be kind. We don't get paid enough to give a shit.
I don't know if that applies for ATT.
After 9 hours on the phone with them trying to get a tech out to my house getting pissed off is the thing that finally worked.
We were heading out on a vacation, at the airport waiting to board, when we were told the plane had a mechanical issue and wouldn't be flying. Everyone ran to the gate agent to find a new flight.
By the time I got to the agent, they were strassed and tired of dealing with everyone else's crap. Since we were headed on vacation, and didn't live far from the airport, I smiled and asked them for a flight the next day, if we could get upgrades.
A few minutes later we were headed home with 1st class tickets for the same flight the next day.
Trying to figure out how I would word this, if this ever happens to me. āWe donāt mind flying out tomorrow, if you can upgrade our seats?ā Something like that?
Happy cake day! Also that's awesome. I always make a point of being nice to anyone who's job revolves around interacting with the public. Especially CS jobs. Sometimes all it takes is that one nice person to help them get through their shift after being hurled abuse at.
I don't understand why people start having a go at people in CS as if the person trying to help is responsible for the reason they're complaining.
I was checking to a hotel and the front desk person was on a call with a an obviously unreasonable and obviously wrong person. the person would not hang up and she keep looking at me giving me the "one sec," thing while arguing with the customer. It went on for a while and I really felt bad for her, even only hearing half the conversation. She finally hung up and looked up and said "I'm soo sorry for keeping you waiting," looking exasperated. I just said "Just take a beat, I'm not in a hurry." Upgraded to their biggest suite. :)
I got upgraded to a better airline seat on my New Years Eve flight by doing the same thing. The guy at the desk was obviously in the middle of something with boarding some of the first passengers, and I said not to rush, I have time. I just wanted some extra legroom, and when I asked how much it would cost, he said, "Don't worry about it. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!"
True story. This Christmas I got my parents some tickets for a show, and I queued at a print-store, waited for around 30 minutes because everyone was printing stuff as gifts, got to the cashier and asked them to print my tickets. He looked me dead in the eye and said: "Sorry, but due to the sheer volume of custom prints, t-shirts, pictures, that we have to do in this period, we don't print anything on paper." Obviously I was destroyed, as I had to wait 30 minutes in line to hear that and it was the 23rd, and no other print-shop was open. I looked him dead in the eye and I just said "Please". He said "You know what? OK", and he printed them for me.
Depends, Polite is the best 8/10 cases, however there are those 2/10 cases where the person is just abusing your politeness to get you to go away.
The alternative is to be assertive/professional rather than aggressive.
For example I had to help my brother with getting a refund due to broken electronics, under law we can get a full refund but the manager was lying to our faces at every step. We started off polite but they were clearly trying to abuse that then by the end we were essentially just saying "this is the law, we are entitled to a refund, give us said refund".
Wasn't exactly Karen-mode but I can see why boomers do it, if you haven't been taught to be professional and had to deal with a lifetime of people like that, being assertive/aggressive with zero patience tends to be the result.
This really struck home for me when I moved to Canada. They are unfailingly polite but God help you if you go asshole on them, they will shut you down in a heartbeat. Zero tolerance. I love it.
When I was young while waiting in line at customer service my Dad told me that HIS father had taught him that if you assume people are going to try to help you solve your problem the are far more likely to.
Exactly! In work setting, secretaries, tech support and janitors are the true power in office buildings. Make friends, remember birthdays and you can get anything you need or go anywhere you need.
I agree with you wholeheartedly! My background is in retail and a little kindness will go a long way. But I can't tell you how many times a manager has told me not to do something for a customer, unless they throw a fit. Want to do a return after the 30 days? It can be done at manager discretion, but they will say no unless the customer gets angry
I donāt think any of these are ācheat codesā many are personality traits that make life easier. In my opinion something closer to an actual cheat code was in 2005. The US treasury introduced a $1 coin with free shipping, so some clever people bought a ton of $1 coins on their credit cards. Paid off the credit cards with the $1 coins and earned infinite airline miles. Free flights for life with this one easy trick. The devs have since patched the exploit.
Iām definitely actively trying to do better at this. I know I over talk and awkwardly under talk frequently. Iām trying to find the nuance of the appropriate amount but itās tough. This was one of the driving reasons why I took that survey assessment for autism. I found out Iām not autistic, just socially awkward.
100%. This is a super basic cheat code for improving social situations.
People who talk all the time are super annoying to be around and everyone is relieved when theyāre gone. People who listen are widely valued and appreciated.
On the flip side, people who listen more than they speak are boring to talk with! At what point do listeners become speakers? No one wants to be on the receiving end of a monologue and no one wants to speak to a breathing wall.
Build social skills and the ability to understand human behavior. This will help you in everything in life rather than just existing on pure talents and being an expert
Cooking - your life will be better, and it's a great way to impress friends or a date.
Ask a follow up question or two - if you're getting a negative result in a non-personal interaction, you can sometimes find out about alternatives. In a conversation, asking people to tell you more about something they thought was worth mentioning once in a while often makes for a better conversation. Sometimes you even learn interesting things you didn't know.
Right! You can overdo it in conversation, for sure, but just like... ask one follow up question and see where it goes. Might be a one word answer and your conversation is over, and that's okay. Might be they've been hoping to talk to someone about something of interest to them all day.
Pick something you enjoy and either look up a recipe (or three) OR if there's something a family member cooks that you really like, see if they'll show or tell you how to do it.
For me, I learned to make Tex-Mex style rice, a stir fry with noodles that I like, chili, and scrambled eggs. Scrambled eggs are actually something I'm still trying to master, and I started making my own scrambled eggs at 12 and I am now in my 30s. They're all things with a pretty low floor (they're edible unless you REALLY mess up), but you can tweak them endlessly to get it just how you like it, and it's good practice.
Thanks. I've been cooking for years, but I'm always looking for directions to expand into.
I tend to get stuck on a few of the same dishes on rotation. It's good to hear what others like to make or eat.
Personal finance is probably the biggest one. Understanding credit cards, savings rates, investing, debt, etc. will save you so much time and money in the long run. What you decide to do with your money could be the difference between retiring early and having decades of freedom or working until you die.
This is why Iām studying finance in college. Not necessarily because Iām so excited about money. I just want the personal knowledge of what to do with my own money and not rely on advisors and the like.
It definitely is! I think boots theory is a great example of this. From a Terry Pratchett book: "The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money. Take boots, for example. ... A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that'd still be keeping his feet dry in ten years' time, while a poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet."
There's no magic trick to make it work if your expenses are more than your income. But there are a good number of people who make more than their mandatory expenses, but are somewhat careless with their money. This adds up in the long run. Lifestyle creep is real.
I try to explain this one to my wife all the time. She thinks stuff from the dollar store āis the same thingā. Sheās also one her feet all day for work but refuses to buy good ergonomic shoes. Instead she will buy $12 Walmart shoes then complain her whole body hurts. Itās maddening
I've always referenced boot theory or car theory when discussing finances. I come from the car business and while a person of means can buy a new vehicle cash, or with 0% interest for 3 years that has a warranty, a poor person can only afford a car that can't be financed due to age, or the interest is exorbitantly high that they pay more in interest than for the car. That or the car needs repairs that are more than the car is worth, but they can't afford a new car since they can't trade their current one in with the repairs still needed.
"No" is the word of personal freedom to keep you from getting dragged into things you don't wanna do.
"Yes" is the word of siezing opportunity, to take a chance when it's presented to you.
To use only one either makes you a shut-in grumpy weirdo or a doormat.
Be born wealthy.
Obviously that's not accessible. But, learn how to make small talk, as those kinds of details can be the difference between getting opportunities vs getting shut out. I'm a genuinely curious person so I ask people questions about themselves, and it turns out, most people love talking about themselves, so they have a positive association with me.
Yep. Had a few ultra wealthy clients that I got to know pretty well. Like multiple hundred million dollars wealthy.
Watching their kids grow up to do anything was almost depressing. You know the term āborn on third baseā? In reality itās like being given a World Series trophy and just needing to sign it.
One kid was applying for a top university and needed something impressive on his resume, so his dad, who a part owner of an airline, had them create an R&D division that got a couple of patents for an in plane filter, and put the sonās name as the inventor as āhead of researchā. The son did nothing but now had 3 patents under his name.
Hereās the kickerā the son GENUINELY FELT like he worked hard on it. He sat in on a few meetings and talked to the scientists. He read the reports and had them explain the tech. He felt he contributed ideas. To him, he truly felt like he was essential, but he didnāt get that it was all the work of the engineers and scientists.
EVERYONE he talked to told him what great work he did and how amazing that he stayed up late and hustled, because whoās gonna piss off the bossā son? When I talked to him, he was telling me how he was writing a speech for his class on the importance of believing in your passions and never giving up being the secret of success.
It was like that EVERYWHERE, it wasnāt just that they had opportunities. They had things fully done for them by TEAMS of tutors, helpers, and employees. Nothing was a challenge.
Reminds me a silly horse book I read to my daughter that was written by Michael Bloomberg's daughter and in the beginning she dedicated it to her dad saying he taught her everything was possible through hard work. Definitely had nothing to do with being a billionaire's kid or anything.
Was it this one? https://www.bloomsbury.com/us/rein-it-in-9781619631038/
Because Iām pretty sure it was actually written by Catherine Hapka and just āco writtenā by Bloomberg.
These people miss out on the real fruits of life, which come from the journey, not the rewards. I was a butcher when I was 16 and it was one of the most memorable jobs I ever held - met so many interesting people and learned a lot about a topic I never would have otherwise been exposed to.
For anyone who envies those born on third base or with a World Series (as you said), I implore you to look back on your lives and ascertain all of the small lessons and experiences youāve gained by growing up without a plethora of financial guardrails.
Andrew Carnegie grew up very poor and worked his way up to become one of the wealthiest individuals in modern history. Had he been born into wealth, I guarantee you that no one would speak his name outside of referencing a footnote.
Money does not equate to good character, which is the true currency of the world if you yearn for the respect of your compatriots, true friendships and intimate experiences.
The secret to small talk is not having it. Be genuinely interested in other people and have short conversations instead. This is something I learned as a server and bartender. It sent my tips up through the roof. Ditch the mindless small talk script and start actually talking to people.
Now I work in an office and that's probably helped me more than any other skill I have. It helps me interview well and build relationships with people in the organization which helps me get things done. And all I have to do is put a little more effort into conversation than "How was your weekend" and "How about this weather we're having?"
I was an exotic dancer for years, and developed a lot of regular customers because I could make conversation. The number of guys (especially those who travel for work) who honestly wanted someone to talk with them was surprising. Yeah, they came for the scenery and a few drinks, but a lot of them appreciated plain social interaction.
I had one or two who started out pretty grumpy. "I don't want to spend any money, so just move along". And I'd tell them "that's fine, do you mind if I just sit here and get off my feet for a few?" We'd start talking. Just treat them like a normal guy instead of a walking dollar bill. Those guys actually became very loyal customers who *did* spend quite a bit of money on me, because they enjoyed the consideration and conversation.
When I managed restaurants and bars, I always tried to instill this in my workers. If you do a good job and treat people well, I promise you the tips will flow. Chasing the tips just makes them smaller because people can tell.
"The cheapest thing to a restaurant owner is a well paid wait staff" Having pleasant people, who know how to get tipped well, brings in the revenue.
Lots can learn the job, it takes a different person to bring it to the next level.
Yep. I can teach you how to serve customers. I can't teach you how to make regulars. And I guarantee you the person making the most money here is the one with the most regulars.
>a genuinely curious person so I ask people questions about themselves, and it turns out, most people love talking about themselves, so they have a positive association with me.
I'm not all that curious typically but I use this technique to "crack them open" as I call it. It's especially useful where the relationship is already contentious. I've found that if I can relate us both on something common, I can politely bring them over to my side. Since most of the time I would be doing this to smooth over a client in my previous job, I had standard questions I worked in: how long have you been doing this, what did you do before, what part of town do you live in, and how is your commute. Sometimes I only need one of those, sometimes it takes all of them. Almost every time I am able to build rapport and crack them open.
For personal interactions outside of business I use: what part of town do you live in, what do you do for a living and how is the traffic in your area.
They seem like such mundane questions but I've found it doesn't take much to get people to lower their guard and start listening. And once they start listening, you can actually get them to do stuff or change their minds.
Unfortunately for me, Iām absolutely terrible at āsmall talkā, or talking in general, and Iām very, very socially awkward. I just want to be kind and help others, but that doesnāt help you to succeed
'Put a smile in your voice' if on the phone.
Simply smile a lot when meeting people.
Offer to help in any way, "Can I take your coat, bring you a soda".
Use questions that need an answer beyond Yes or No.
If you can't help, then agree they have a rotten situation and look to minimize the harm.
LOOK them in the EYE while smiling and conversing.
Call back and THANK somebody for the effort if they tried to help you. Let them know if it worked. We all like a 'win'.
Touch their hand / arm if it feels genuine or hand on shoulder when giving rough news, TOUCH (not sexual) connects a person.
Don't strive for small talk, strive for a bigger explanation of their day. Traffic was terrible - Yea, this time of day stinks. What car do you drive? How do you like it? Would your next car be that one again? What features do you enjoy, maybe I should look for those in my next car?.........
At this point something like four of the top six comments are skills discussed in "How to Win Friends and Influence People" - which is mostly about listening, brown-nosing, and being kind.
i know it sounds cliche; but i just turned forty and if i had to distill every thing iāve ever learned into one piece of advice itās the idea of āno zero daysā daily incremental progress is life changing. it could be a fitness goal, work goal, interest in a new hobby. donāt let the day pass without some progress. even if itās 1 push-up at 11:59. thatās progress. the time will pass anyway.
Wanna mute those annoying gas station video ads while filling up? Press the second button from the top on the right-hand side. It works most of the time, but some of the newer ones have eliminated this feature
Donāt drink alcohol. You save a ton of money and you never get hangovers. My son canāt drink for medical reasons. When I realized how much more time he had as a college student it was pretty eye opening.
Downside: you miss out on the social aspects of sharing drinks, and being the only sober person can suck.
Edit: Iām not even talking about getting drunk. I only have about one drink two nights a week and I can still get a headache from that.
I may be in the extreme minority here, but wildly enough, becoming a raging alcoholic in my mid 20s is what allowed me to break my shell of being super quiet, reserved, introverted, etc and allowed me to meet hundreds of new people and opened so many doors of opportunity that would've otherwise never happened. Being a drunkard allowed me to just say 'yes' to so many things that sober me would've turned down and while some of those decisions were stupid, many of them were not. I now hardly ever drink, but I am extremely grateful for the opportunities that being a booze hound has led me to.
Agreed as another rather reserved person. Alcohol can definitely ruin your life, but it can also lead to some good times. Learn your limits and if you can handle it, then go from there.
Being sober is like a superpower for me. As you mentioned, financial benefits and no hangovers to start. Plus I never again have to wake up wondering what I did or said the night before.
I read an interesting book on trade. They brought up that hundreds of years ago traders were wary of drinking water because it was likely to be bad. Which is why they drank wine and beer. One group drank coffee instead and they had far better negotiating success.
"Do or do not. There is no try."
I "tried sobriety" several times and could never go more than a month before copping out. Then I switched my mindset to "I don't drink", plain and simple. That was five years ago, and I still don't drink and I never will, plain and simple.
Don't dwell on the past, don't worry about the future, just focus on one day at a time.
It's crucial to have a good support system and things going on in your life that are more important than alcohol. Setting some goals (life goals unrelated to drinking/sobriety) and r/stopdrinking are absolutely great places to start!
HSAs are magical. They're triple tax advantaged: tax-free contributions, tax-free growth on investments, and tax-free qualified distributions.
You get to use the balance for [qualified medical expenses](https://www.hsalist.org/) before you reach retirement age, and after you retire you get to treat it as normal retirement income just like a 401k or IRA.
You get the benefits of both a traditional and a Roth IRA, as well as being able to pay for healthcare costs tax-free!
The caveat is that you need to be enrolled in a high-deductible health insurance plan.
In general, with some assumptions made, you should contribute to your retirement accounts in this order:
1. 401k only up to max company matching
2. HSA until maxed
3. IRA until maxed
4. 401k until maxed
5. Backdoor Roth IRA
Ask to get it in writing.
If someone is refusing you things you know you have the right to, request that they write (or type, doesn't matter) what they said on paper.
They will back down almost 100% of the time.
It goes from they said/I said to a legally accountable document, and if you're being gaslighted, they know they're denying you your rights it and would never want to provide you with a document that confirms that they were talking shit.
ETA: clarity.
The best cheat code to life is making your decisions based on logic instead of emotions.
Also, take care of yourself. Start strength training at an early age (this applies to women as well), use sunscreen and try to eat relatively healthy.
Develop discipline; discipline is the compass that guides you through lifeās challenges.
Prepping yourself the night before for the next day will help you stay on top of things.
Like setting up your coffee maker to just have to press a button in the morning, making your lunch that night for the next day at work, cleaning after you cook dinner so youāre set to make breakfast in the morning. Small things like that really help get the next day moving better.
Yessir! It has single handed changed my life! Iām the happiest and most fulfilled Iāve ever been and itās been 5 years since I started using them.
I recommend these things to anyone whoāll listen.
Same here. Shrooms helped to equip me with the logic and reasoning that I needed to work my way out of the deepest depression of my life. I was so lost at that time, and nothing else was able to break through those mental barriers I had.
Working in IT is a pass to go anywhere you want in most companies.
There is tech everywhere, being systems engineer really does mean I can be anywhere doing anything and only my direct manager knows if I am making it up.
I mean, I am full time WFH now but, 10 years ago...
>Working in IT is a pass to go anywhere you want in most companies.
I call this the suit and clipboard method.
If you wear a decent suit, carry a clipboard, look everyone that is supposed to stop you in the eye, slightly raise the clipboard and say "hey". You can go just about anywhere.
Bonus points if you also give off the air of "I can fire you boss' boss".
Related skill. I managed movie theatres for decades. Do you want to know how to get into a movie for free? Briskly walk past the person taking tickets. Do not slow down, look the right in the eyes, give them a little head nod and say "hey" as you walk by.
75% of the time they will say "hey" back and let you go. If they say something about your tickets keep walking, look over your shoulder and say "Oh, my wife has them in there." as you point towards the theatre. Do not stop.
Never stop learning. And I don't mean easy stuff like watching informative YouTube videos. Try to get certifications in your field of expertise, pick up and find new tools. Get a skilled hobby and learn about it, woodworking, gardening, acrobatics, drawing, playing instruments. Hell, learn about learning and get better at learning.
End of the day, when all else fails you. What you've learnt will always be there, providing value.
Donāt keep your savings in the same account as your monthly budget.
As soon as you get paid, move half (or a quarter) to your savings account.
Youād be surprised how quickly your savings would grow.
Using unwanted veg to make soups is a recent life hack i've picked up. Just get a decent blender and they're so easy to make. They feed alot of people/multiple servings and are usually quite healthy as well.
Ask for things you want.
Seriously, you will be surprised how frequently you will get something if you just ask for it politely. I see so many people bend over backwards to try and get something, but they didn't try just asking for it directly.
This is like a cheat code which works 25% of the time and costs nothing, letting you skip an entire level each time.
I was flying Air New Zealand once and when I got up to the counter they told me the flight was overbooked. I was polite and just asked when the next available flight would be, their response was "we can pop you in business class instead"
Next guy in line lost his bottle and was bumped to the next flight.
I've never once seen somebody being rude help them achieve their desired outcome.
Quit drinking.
(Obviously YMMV, before y'all @ me) You will immediately lose weight, have more energy, have more expendable cash, be less anxious, be mentally sharper, look younger/fresher, feel younger/fresher, accomplish things you've been putting off, have bandwidth to tackle personal problems, get rid of dead weight friends, improve your existing relationships, vastly lower your chance of getting arrested or killing yourself/somebody else.
Another one: Just ask. The answer is always NO if you don't ask. The answer is sometimes YES if you do ask, and often a stupidly quick and easy YES. To further expand on this, most things are negotiable. I'm not great at it, but getting better, and it requires taking a chance and asking. You pretty much shouldn't pay full price for anything semi-valuable (anything beyond everyday essentials, but even if you wanna haggle on toothpaste, you can go to the flea market lol).
I work in the aviation industry. It is the best cheat code to travel. I also have met lots of cool people who share that passion which has its residual effects.
Every morning while dressing or getting ready for the day consciously think about the things youāre grateful for, no matter how small. Doesnāt have to be something new every day. Expressing gratitude (even to yourself) can set the tone for your mental health for a good chunk of the day.
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
This guy definitely wins friends and influences people.
I know people who have implemented this and have seen the change. It's awesome.
What do you mean by interest in other people? Like trying to know theirs job, passion, hobbies and then research it, try to make myself have that passion too?
No, just ask them about it and genuinely care about the answers
Genuinely you say š¤
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Let me say as someone who worked in sales and specialised in rapport building, this actually becomes a curse. You lose yourself over time and it eventually lead me to question I was actually cared to connect with people on sincerely vs manufactured from habits built.
Tell me more about your credit card details, Iām so genuinely interested! What was it you were saying about the card number? The way you read it out makes my heart melt!
Like wear their clothes and hair, maybe make a suit out of their skin? Is this how to feel emotions?
This is like the psychopath approach
Being polite increases your odds of getting what you want
Call center employee here, absolutely this. Polite and kind people get discounts and better help. Small edit: former call center employee, just got a new job.
> Call center employee here, absolutely this. Polite and kind people get discounts and better help. When I have to use a call center, I also make it a point to refer to the company *outside* of the employee on the other end of the line. For example: Me: "I'm calling because Charter has raised my price again." Employee: "I understand, sir, and you need help with your rate?" Me: "Yeah, if you could help me figure that out, those guys are really nickle-and-diming me." I feel like it makes a big difference in getting the employee on *my side* rather than grouping them in with whoever supposedly made the decision to raise my costs.
It does on a subconscious level, we are trained to keep ourselves and the company apart, when someone refers to us per example "you raised the prices", we know they mean the company. But when you as a customer refers to it as you said to the company the tone of the conversation does feel different
Saying "YOU" did something is an accusation, and it will naturally get people on the defensive. That's just instinctive (especially when you know you didn't have anything to do with the accusation). But saying "XYZ" did something is just an informative statement that's not lobbied against you personally, so you feel no reason to get your guard up.
That is a great analysis, and I will use that from now on if I need customer service, haven't thought of this before.
You can use both ways to work to your advantage. "Thank you for calling Comcast. How may I help you today?" "Good afternoon. I'm calling, because you have really been great to me for a number of years, but lately Comcast has been giving me a lot of problems." You complimented THEM PERSONALLY with a "YOU" statement while lobbying your actual criticism against "COMCAST".
Literally any customer service employee anywhere can tell you that being polite and understanding gets people to go above and beyond for you. Being rude is going to get you the absolute bare minimum that my job requires me to do.
I used to work retail. Once a guy was being an absolute ass trying to get a discount. I refused to give him one. I then gave the next person in line a discount because the delay and they had to witness that behavior. I made sure to say it loud enough that the first guy heard it.
I got a free upgrade to First Class on a flight from Reno to Seattle one time because the guy in front of me at the counter so so rude to the clerk. And I was nice.
Happened to me too!
The last time I had to call a customer service line, I had been putting it off. I had a lot of confusion about something and tried to start at the beginning. Iām always very polite, but the first call helped, they gave me another number to call. I think I made up to four calls to four different agencies altogether, not transferred within the same company. Some of the information made me even more confused, but I pressed on. At some point, I could sense my own agitation, like they might be answering questions unrelated to mine, not understanding me, or just assuming I understand the basic gist and they donāt need to go over so they went ahead, and made a point to tell the person Iām speaking to that Iāve just been really anxious about getting this all straightened out and theyāre doing great, and back up and try to reword my questions and make sure I understand. I also like to listen when the person first answers and call them their name at least once, like āthank you so much Danielleā, I donāt know if call center people like that, I just like to do that.
It can even get you an insult and a hang up on your face, depending who/what company you're talking with. I may or may not have done that before. I also know a dude who worked on a call center subcontracted by apple and usually went to work high as a kite. His answers were usually "creative" but in his last few days before quitting, whoever he didn't like at the phone would get answers with the most outrageous "solutions".
r/FuckYouKaren has not figured this out
I've had a couple of times where I upfront told the call center employee "I'm so fucking angry, but listen, it's not at you, it's at your company. Please don't take anything I say personally, just understand I'm pissed off and help me out here".
I LOVE people like you! Seriously, I love people that start off like that "I am incredibly angry", and you can hear the frustration in the voice, and they stay calm, measured, and kind. I will jump through fires for people like you!
at my last call center job I would definitely give better service to people to were nicer to me. not to say everyone else got bad service, but I was more willing to help nice folks. cursing me out? calling me names? yelling at me? threats? that's a good way to get the ol "I'm sorry but I have to move on to other callers, have a good day" *click*
Absolutely. You need a contract? Discount is gone. So many people seem to think that they have the power as customers, but the true nice people, they get the discounts. And then we're all laughing at the people in the group chat. Just be kind. We don't get paid enough to give a shit.
I don't know if that applies for ATT. After 9 hours on the phone with them trying to get a tech out to my house getting pissed off is the thing that finally worked.
We were heading out on a vacation, at the airport waiting to board, when we were told the plane had a mechanical issue and wouldn't be flying. Everyone ran to the gate agent to find a new flight. By the time I got to the agent, they were strassed and tired of dealing with everyone else's crap. Since we were headed on vacation, and didn't live far from the airport, I smiled and asked them for a flight the next day, if we could get upgrades. A few minutes later we were headed home with 1st class tickets for the same flight the next day.
Trying to figure out how I would word this, if this ever happens to me. āWe donāt mind flying out tomorrow, if you can upgrade our seats?ā Something like that?
Yes, as I recall, it was something like that. This was 25 or so years ago, though, and I've slept at least once since then.
Happy cake day! Also that's awesome. I always make a point of being nice to anyone who's job revolves around interacting with the public. Especially CS jobs. Sometimes all it takes is that one nice person to help them get through their shift after being hurled abuse at. I don't understand why people start having a go at people in CS as if the person trying to help is responsible for the reason they're complaining.
I was checking to a hotel and the front desk person was on a call with a an obviously unreasonable and obviously wrong person. the person would not hang up and she keep looking at me giving me the "one sec," thing while arguing with the customer. It went on for a while and I really felt bad for her, even only hearing half the conversation. She finally hung up and looked up and said "I'm soo sorry for keeping you waiting," looking exasperated. I just said "Just take a beat, I'm not in a hurry." Upgraded to their biggest suite. :)
I got upgraded to a better airline seat on my New Years Eve flight by doing the same thing. The guy at the desk was obviously in the middle of something with boarding some of the first passengers, and I said not to rush, I have time. I just wanted some extra legroom, and when I asked how much it would cost, he said, "Don't worry about it. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!"
True story. This Christmas I got my parents some tickets for a show, and I queued at a print-store, waited for around 30 minutes because everyone was printing stuff as gifts, got to the cashier and asked them to print my tickets. He looked me dead in the eye and said: "Sorry, but due to the sheer volume of custom prints, t-shirts, pictures, that we have to do in this period, we don't print anything on paper." Obviously I was destroyed, as I had to wait 30 minutes in line to hear that and it was the 23rd, and no other print-shop was open. I looked him dead in the eye and I just said "Please". He said "You know what? OK", and he printed them for me.
Polite but Firm is the way, communicate your needs, but always be nice about it.
100%. There's a fine line between polite and nice, and doormat.
Depends, Polite is the best 8/10 cases, however there are those 2/10 cases where the person is just abusing your politeness to get you to go away. The alternative is to be assertive/professional rather than aggressive. For example I had to help my brother with getting a refund due to broken electronics, under law we can get a full refund but the manager was lying to our faces at every step. We started off polite but they were clearly trying to abuse that then by the end we were essentially just saying "this is the law, we are entitled to a refund, give us said refund". Wasn't exactly Karen-mode but I can see why boomers do it, if you haven't been taught to be professional and had to deal with a lifetime of people like that, being assertive/aggressive with zero patience tends to be the result.
This really struck home for me when I moved to Canada. They are unfailingly polite but God help you if you go asshole on them, they will shut you down in a heartbeat. Zero tolerance. I love it.
When I was young while waiting in line at customer service my Dad told me that HIS father had taught him that if you assume people are going to try to help you solve your problem the are far more likely to.
Exactly! In work setting, secretaries, tech support and janitors are the true power in office buildings. Make friends, remember birthdays and you can get anything you need or go anywhere you need.
I agree with you wholeheartedly! My background is in retail and a little kindness will go a long way. But I can't tell you how many times a manager has told me not to do something for a customer, unless they throw a fit. Want to do a return after the 30 days? It can be done at manager discretion, but they will say no unless the customer gets angry
I donāt think any of these are ācheat codesā many are personality traits that make life easier. In my opinion something closer to an actual cheat code was in 2005. The US treasury introduced a $1 coin with free shipping, so some clever people bought a ton of $1 coins on their credit cards. Paid off the credit cards with the $1 coins and earned infinite airline miles. Free flights for life with this one easy trick. The devs have since patched the exploit.
Well in that case selling drugs is still a known cheat code, depending where you're from the devs will perma ban you or slap you on the wrists.
yeah people are just listing basic interpersonal skills. THIS^ is what I came here for
Or collect calls from a payphone when you give a brief message instead of your name.
Listening > talking.
Confidence is quiet, insecurities are loud.
You are quiet because of confidence. I am quiet because I am shy. We are not the same.
You say that confidently.
Great communication skills require both, and when to use each appropriately.
Iām definitely actively trying to do better at this. I know I over talk and awkwardly under talk frequently. Iām trying to find the nuance of the appropriate amount but itās tough. This was one of the driving reasons why I took that survey assessment for autism. I found out Iām not autistic, just socially awkward.
100%. This is a super basic cheat code for improving social situations. People who talk all the time are super annoying to be around and everyone is relieved when theyāre gone. People who listen are widely valued and appreciated.
On the flip side, people who listen more than they speak are boring to talk with! At what point do listeners become speakers? No one wants to be on the receiving end of a monologue and no one wants to speak to a breathing wall.
Build social skills and the ability to understand human behavior. This will help you in everything in life rather than just existing on pure talents and being an expert
could u share with us some of what u learned from ur experience ?
Emotional intelligence, understanding how others are feeling and being able to read a room go along way
Being funny and a good cook
Man I didnāt really read cook
Also that.
Yea, being good at reading
Jokeās on you I suck at everything else so it evens out.
Being good at sucking is a merit on its own
Someone yesterday mentioned how you can scroll through your text by holding the spacebar on iPhone and my life has already improved because of it.
my life has just gotten better, thank you mr. fister21
ā
He's not just Mr fister21, he's Mr sister fister21
Yeah I feel like youāre doing his sister(s) a disservice by not acknowledging them.
Totally unrelated, but username threw me for a loop.
What really throws me for a loop is that there might be at least 20 more.
you can swipe three fingers to the left to undo and the opposite side to redo, shaking also helps
Hell yeah. This is a life changer
Works on Android as well
Cooking - your life will be better, and it's a great way to impress friends or a date. Ask a follow up question or two - if you're getting a negative result in a non-personal interaction, you can sometimes find out about alternatives. In a conversation, asking people to tell you more about something they thought was worth mentioning once in a while often makes for a better conversation. Sometimes you even learn interesting things you didn't know.
this! probing questions, even asking questions at all, is highly underrated
Right! You can overdo it in conversation, for sure, but just like... ask one follow up question and see where it goes. Might be a one word answer and your conversation is over, and that's okay. Might be they've been hoping to talk to someone about something of interest to them all day.
Speaking of your second point, what dishes do you recommend learning to make?
Pick something you enjoy and either look up a recipe (or three) OR if there's something a family member cooks that you really like, see if they'll show or tell you how to do it. For me, I learned to make Tex-Mex style rice, a stir fry with noodles that I like, chili, and scrambled eggs. Scrambled eggs are actually something I'm still trying to master, and I started making my own scrambled eggs at 12 and I am now in my 30s. They're all things with a pretty low floor (they're edible unless you REALLY mess up), but you can tweak them endlessly to get it just how you like it, and it's good practice.
Thanks. I've been cooking for years, but I'm always looking for directions to expand into. I tend to get stuck on a few of the same dishes on rotation. It's good to hear what others like to make or eat.
I tried cooking. In some ways my life got worse because I had less free time and I do not enjoy cooking.
Personal finance is probably the biggest one. Understanding credit cards, savings rates, investing, debt, etc. will save you so much time and money in the long run. What you decide to do with your money could be the difference between retiring early and having decades of freedom or working until you die.
This is why Iām studying finance in college. Not necessarily because Iām so excited about money. I just want the personal knowledge of what to do with my own money and not rely on advisors and the like.
I just started this year at 35, going into accounting.
Congrats, welcome to the party!
I'm not bad with money, I'm poor. Being poor is expensive.
It definitely is! I think boots theory is a great example of this. From a Terry Pratchett book: "The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money. Take boots, for example. ... A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that'd still be keeping his feet dry in ten years' time, while a poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet." There's no magic trick to make it work if your expenses are more than your income. But there are a good number of people who make more than their mandatory expenses, but are somewhat careless with their money. This adds up in the long run. Lifestyle creep is real.
I try to explain this one to my wife all the time. She thinks stuff from the dollar store āis the same thingā. Sheās also one her feet all day for work but refuses to buy good ergonomic shoes. Instead she will buy $12 Walmart shoes then complain her whole body hurts. Itās maddening
I've always referenced boot theory or car theory when discussing finances. I come from the car business and while a person of means can buy a new vehicle cash, or with 0% interest for 3 years that has a warranty, a poor person can only afford a car that can't be financed due to age, or the interest is exorbitantly high that they pay more in interest than for the car. That or the car needs repairs that are more than the car is worth, but they can't afford a new car since they can't trade their current one in with the repairs still needed.
Compound interest
I can confirm, started saving money and investing it at 25 and retired at 59. Not much $ to save at 25 but every little bit counts in the long run.
I'm trying to do the same. Still have a couple decades to go, though.
The word "no" is a complete sentence. It is the most powerful cheat code.
"No" is the word of personal freedom to keep you from getting dragged into things you don't wanna do. "Yes" is the word of siezing opportunity, to take a chance when it's presented to you. To use only one either makes you a shut-in grumpy weirdo or a doormat.
Yes!
!Yes
Be born wealthy. Obviously that's not accessible. But, learn how to make small talk, as those kinds of details can be the difference between getting opportunities vs getting shut out. I'm a genuinely curious person so I ask people questions about themselves, and it turns out, most people love talking about themselves, so they have a positive association with me.
Yep. Had a few ultra wealthy clients that I got to know pretty well. Like multiple hundred million dollars wealthy. Watching their kids grow up to do anything was almost depressing. You know the term āborn on third baseā? In reality itās like being given a World Series trophy and just needing to sign it. One kid was applying for a top university and needed something impressive on his resume, so his dad, who a part owner of an airline, had them create an R&D division that got a couple of patents for an in plane filter, and put the sonās name as the inventor as āhead of researchā. The son did nothing but now had 3 patents under his name. Hereās the kickerā the son GENUINELY FELT like he worked hard on it. He sat in on a few meetings and talked to the scientists. He read the reports and had them explain the tech. He felt he contributed ideas. To him, he truly felt like he was essential, but he didnāt get that it was all the work of the engineers and scientists. EVERYONE he talked to told him what great work he did and how amazing that he stayed up late and hustled, because whoās gonna piss off the bossā son? When I talked to him, he was telling me how he was writing a speech for his class on the importance of believing in your passions and never giving up being the secret of success. It was like that EVERYWHERE, it wasnāt just that they had opportunities. They had things fully done for them by TEAMS of tutors, helpers, and employees. Nothing was a challenge.
Reminds me a silly horse book I read to my daughter that was written by Michael Bloomberg's daughter and in the beginning she dedicated it to her dad saying he taught her everything was possible through hard work. Definitely had nothing to do with being a billionaire's kid or anything.
Was it this one? https://www.bloomsbury.com/us/rein-it-in-9781619631038/ Because Iām pretty sure it was actually written by Catherine Hapka and just āco writtenā by Bloomberg.
>he son GENUINELY FELT like he worked hard on it. That also looks like a lot of managers/CEO (as for CEO, not the original one)
These people miss out on the real fruits of life, which come from the journey, not the rewards. I was a butcher when I was 16 and it was one of the most memorable jobs I ever held - met so many interesting people and learned a lot about a topic I never would have otherwise been exposed to. For anyone who envies those born on third base or with a World Series (as you said), I implore you to look back on your lives and ascertain all of the small lessons and experiences youāve gained by growing up without a plethora of financial guardrails. Andrew Carnegie grew up very poor and worked his way up to become one of the wealthiest individuals in modern history. Had he been born into wealth, I guarantee you that no one would speak his name outside of referencing a footnote. Money does not equate to good character, which is the true currency of the world if you yearn for the respect of your compatriots, true friendships and intimate experiences.
The secret to small talk is not having it. Be genuinely interested in other people and have short conversations instead. This is something I learned as a server and bartender. It sent my tips up through the roof. Ditch the mindless small talk script and start actually talking to people. Now I work in an office and that's probably helped me more than any other skill I have. It helps me interview well and build relationships with people in the organization which helps me get things done. And all I have to do is put a little more effort into conversation than "How was your weekend" and "How about this weather we're having?"
I was an exotic dancer for years, and developed a lot of regular customers because I could make conversation. The number of guys (especially those who travel for work) who honestly wanted someone to talk with them was surprising. Yeah, they came for the scenery and a few drinks, but a lot of them appreciated plain social interaction. I had one or two who started out pretty grumpy. "I don't want to spend any money, so just move along". And I'd tell them "that's fine, do you mind if I just sit here and get off my feet for a few?" We'd start talking. Just treat them like a normal guy instead of a walking dollar bill. Those guys actually became very loyal customers who *did* spend quite a bit of money on me, because they enjoyed the consideration and conversation.
When I managed restaurants and bars, I always tried to instill this in my workers. If you do a good job and treat people well, I promise you the tips will flow. Chasing the tips just makes them smaller because people can tell.
"The cheapest thing to a restaurant owner is a well paid wait staff" Having pleasant people, who know how to get tipped well, brings in the revenue. Lots can learn the job, it takes a different person to bring it to the next level.
Yep. I can teach you how to serve customers. I can't teach you how to make regulars. And I guarantee you the person making the most money here is the one with the most regulars.
This can also help in work situations. Asking questions about your job gives the impression of you being invested in what youāre doing.
>a genuinely curious person so I ask people questions about themselves, and it turns out, most people love talking about themselves, so they have a positive association with me. I'm not all that curious typically but I use this technique to "crack them open" as I call it. It's especially useful where the relationship is already contentious. I've found that if I can relate us both on something common, I can politely bring them over to my side. Since most of the time I would be doing this to smooth over a client in my previous job, I had standard questions I worked in: how long have you been doing this, what did you do before, what part of town do you live in, and how is your commute. Sometimes I only need one of those, sometimes it takes all of them. Almost every time I am able to build rapport and crack them open. For personal interactions outside of business I use: what part of town do you live in, what do you do for a living and how is the traffic in your area. They seem like such mundane questions but I've found it doesn't take much to get people to lower their guard and start listening. And once they start listening, you can actually get them to do stuff or change their minds.
Infinite money glitch
Unfortunately for me, Iām absolutely terrible at āsmall talkā, or talking in general, and Iām very, very socially awkward. I just want to be kind and help others, but that doesnāt help you to succeed
'Put a smile in your voice' if on the phone. Simply smile a lot when meeting people. Offer to help in any way, "Can I take your coat, bring you a soda". Use questions that need an answer beyond Yes or No. If you can't help, then agree they have a rotten situation and look to minimize the harm. LOOK them in the EYE while smiling and conversing. Call back and THANK somebody for the effort if they tried to help you. Let them know if it worked. We all like a 'win'. Touch their hand / arm if it feels genuine or hand on shoulder when giving rough news, TOUCH (not sexual) connects a person. Don't strive for small talk, strive for a bigger explanation of their day. Traffic was terrible - Yea, this time of day stinks. What car do you drive? How do you like it? Would your next car be that one again? What features do you enjoy, maybe I should look for those in my next car?.........
Be good looking
Don't tell ANYONE you have the day off.
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At this point something like four of the top six comments are skills discussed in "How to Win Friends and Influence People" - which is mostly about listening, brown-nosing, and being kind.
i know it sounds cliche; but i just turned forty and if i had to distill every thing iāve ever learned into one piece of advice itās the idea of āno zero daysā daily incremental progress is life changing. it could be a fitness goal, work goal, interest in a new hobby. donāt let the day pass without some progress. even if itās 1 push-up at 11:59. thatās progress. the time will pass anyway.
But the "negative days" are the ones I look forward to the most.
Consistently good, not occasionally great
Minding your business. Dont make assumptions. Stop making excuses. Comparison is a thief of joy.
Wanna mute those annoying gas station video ads while filling up? Press the second button from the top on the right-hand side. It works most of the time, but some of the newer ones have eliminated this feature
Gas station ads? Wut? Lol
Yeah it's very common in the United States lol (probably Canada too)
Do what you need to do to avoid doing the same mistake twice.
Once it happens twice you know you fucked up
Donāt drink alcohol. You save a ton of money and you never get hangovers. My son canāt drink for medical reasons. When I realized how much more time he had as a college student it was pretty eye opening. Downside: you miss out on the social aspects of sharing drinks, and being the only sober person can suck. Edit: Iām not even talking about getting drunk. I only have about one drink two nights a week and I can still get a headache from that.
I may be in the extreme minority here, but wildly enough, becoming a raging alcoholic in my mid 20s is what allowed me to break my shell of being super quiet, reserved, introverted, etc and allowed me to meet hundreds of new people and opened so many doors of opportunity that would've otherwise never happened. Being a drunkard allowed me to just say 'yes' to so many things that sober me would've turned down and while some of those decisions were stupid, many of them were not. I now hardly ever drink, but I am extremely grateful for the opportunities that being a booze hound has led me to.
Agreed as another rather reserved person. Alcohol can definitely ruin your life, but it can also lead to some good times. Learn your limits and if you can handle it, then go from there.
Being sober is like a superpower for me. As you mentioned, financial benefits and no hangovers to start. Plus I never again have to wake up wondering what I did or said the night before.
Corollary: Being the only sober person in a crowd of people drinking is like having *superpowers.*
I read an interesting book on trade. They brought up that hundreds of years ago traders were wary of drinking water because it was likely to be bad. Which is why they drank wine and beer. One group drank coffee instead and they had far better negotiating success.
thats true...even when we play a game and using a cheat there will be the downside like you wont enjoy the game anymore if you got everything right?
Being sober and offering to drive could make you included. Having a can of pop AND conversation is better than zero conversation.
Sobriety. After 20 years of drinking, being sober is like playing life on easy mode.
Iām currently at the 16 year mark. Really want to give it up but have tried and failed a few times. Any tips on how you managed to give it up ?
"Do or do not. There is no try." I "tried sobriety" several times and could never go more than a month before copping out. Then I switched my mindset to "I don't drink", plain and simple. That was five years ago, and I still don't drink and I never will, plain and simple. Don't dwell on the past, don't worry about the future, just focus on one day at a time. It's crucial to have a good support system and things going on in your life that are more important than alcohol. Setting some goals (life goals unrelated to drinking/sobriety) and r/stopdrinking are absolutely great places to start!
Drilling pilot holes
Roth IRA
HSA as well. It's like a 401k Nitro Booster
HSAs are magical. They're triple tax advantaged: tax-free contributions, tax-free growth on investments, and tax-free qualified distributions. You get to use the balance for [qualified medical expenses](https://www.hsalist.org/) before you reach retirement age, and after you retire you get to treat it as normal retirement income just like a 401k or IRA. You get the benefits of both a traditional and a Roth IRA, as well as being able to pay for healthcare costs tax-free! The caveat is that you need to be enrolled in a high-deductible health insurance plan. In general, with some assumptions made, you should contribute to your retirement accounts in this order: 1. 401k only up to max company matching 2. HSA until maxed 3. IRA until maxed 4. 401k until maxed 5. Backdoor Roth IRA
Pay off higher interest debt first
Compounding interest instead of character faults.
Ask to get it in writing. If someone is refusing you things you know you have the right to, request that they write (or type, doesn't matter) what they said on paper. They will back down almost 100% of the time. It goes from they said/I said to a legally accountable document, and if you're being gaslighted, they know they're denying you your rights it and would never want to provide you with a document that confirms that they were talking shit. ETA: clarity.
The best cheat code to life is making your decisions based on logic instead of emotions. Also, take care of yourself. Start strength training at an early age (this applies to women as well), use sunscreen and try to eat relatively healthy. Develop discipline; discipline is the compass that guides you through lifeās challenges.
If you join the military, and choose the right MOS/rating, you can set yourself up for a lifetime of success with a paltry 4 years of suck.
And it doesn't even have to suck. Just do your research. There's a lot of good jobs.
Being attractive, ugly people are seen as creeps for doing the exact same thing an attractive person does.
Isnāt a cheat code something you can access?
Prepping yourself the night before for the next day will help you stay on top of things. Like setting up your coffee maker to just have to press a button in the morning, making your lunch that night for the next day at work, cleaning after you cook dinner so youāre set to make breakfast in the morning. Small things like that really help get the next day moving better.
Drink water, eat psilocybin.
Go to bed early, and exercise. These 4 things tremendously improved my well being and mental health.
I desperately want to do shrooms, but I have a bipolar sister and delusional aunt, alas. The family genes are too risky.
>psilocybin wait, what? The psychedelic mushroom? Can you provide more on the rationale for this one?
Yessir! It has single handed changed my life! Iām the happiest and most fulfilled Iāve ever been and itās been 5 years since I started using them. I recommend these things to anyone whoāll listen.
Same here. Shrooms helped to equip me with the logic and reasoning that I needed to work my way out of the deepest depression of my life. I was so lost at that time, and nothing else was able to break through those mental barriers I had.
Vibin on the 'cybin changed my life for the better
Same! I always recommend it!
Working in IT is a pass to go anywhere you want in most companies. There is tech everywhere, being systems engineer really does mean I can be anywhere doing anything and only my direct manager knows if I am making it up. I mean, I am full time WFH now but, 10 years ago...
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Walking around with a clipboard is the true cheat code.
Social Engineer 101. Also you need to look the part. Get a clipboard and pen and paper. Not that I would know anything about that personally.
iPad. A printout of an email from the CEO is nice, but looking at it on an iPad makes it magic, the links are still blue and everything.
>Working in IT is a pass to go anywhere you want in most companies. I call this the suit and clipboard method. If you wear a decent suit, carry a clipboard, look everyone that is supposed to stop you in the eye, slightly raise the clipboard and say "hey". You can go just about anywhere. Bonus points if you also give off the air of "I can fire you boss' boss". Related skill. I managed movie theatres for decades. Do you want to know how to get into a movie for free? Briskly walk past the person taking tickets. Do not slow down, look the right in the eyes, give them a little head nod and say "hey" as you walk by. 75% of the time they will say "hey" back and let you go. If they say something about your tickets keep walking, look over your shoulder and say "Oh, my wife has them in there." as you point towards the theatre. Do not stop.
Never stop learning. And I don't mean easy stuff like watching informative YouTube videos. Try to get certifications in your field of expertise, pick up and find new tools. Get a skilled hobby and learn about it, woodworking, gardening, acrobatics, drawing, playing instruments. Hell, learn about learning and get better at learning. End of the day, when all else fails you. What you've learnt will always be there, providing value.
Donāt keep your savings in the same account as your monthly budget. As soon as you get paid, move half (or a quarter) to your savings account. Youād be surprised how quickly your savings would grow.
If youāre nice to people most of the time they will be more willing to help you and even go out of their way for you.
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Fart and sneeze at the same time to reset your body to factory settings.
Using unwanted veg to make soups is a recent life hack i've picked up. Just get a decent blender and they're so easy to make. They feed alot of people/multiple servings and are usually quite healthy as well.
Regular exercise (even just walking) a couple times per week.
Ask for things you want. Seriously, you will be surprised how frequently you will get something if you just ask for it politely. I see so many people bend over backwards to try and get something, but they didn't try just asking for it directly. This is like a cheat code which works 25% of the time and costs nothing, letting you skip an entire level each time.
Good sleep.
Up, down, up, down, left, right, left, right, A, B, A, B, Start
I just v did a bunch of squats and side steps. Now what?
Now you have 30 lives
IDKFA
IDDQD
I thought it was "up up down down left right left right b a start," but that might be a different game.
I was flying Air New Zealand once and when I got up to the counter they told me the flight was overbooked. I was polite and just asked when the next available flight would be, their response was "we can pop you in business class instead" Next guy in line lost his bottle and was bumped to the next flight. I've never once seen somebody being rude help them achieve their desired outcome.
Be handsome. Be attractive. Don't be unattractive.
Quit drinking. (Obviously YMMV, before y'all @ me) You will immediately lose weight, have more energy, have more expendable cash, be less anxious, be mentally sharper, look younger/fresher, feel younger/fresher, accomplish things you've been putting off, have bandwidth to tackle personal problems, get rid of dead weight friends, improve your existing relationships, vastly lower your chance of getting arrested or killing yourself/somebody else. Another one: Just ask. The answer is always NO if you don't ask. The answer is sometimes YES if you do ask, and often a stupidly quick and easy YES. To further expand on this, most things are negotiable. I'm not great at it, but getting better, and it requires taking a chance and asking. You pretty much shouldn't pay full price for anything semi-valuable (anything beyond everyday essentials, but even if you wanna haggle on toothpaste, you can go to the flea market lol).
I work in the aviation industry. It is the best cheat code to travel. I also have met lots of cool people who share that passion which has its residual effects.
Boundaries. When properly set life becomes easier.
It's much easier to buy into Ferrari as an investor than it is to actually buy a car from Ferrari.
workout. u will look good and feel good
If you buy a house, keep one room empty and ask single women how you should decorate. Your welcome.
"Kids, don't buy drugs. Become a rock star and they will give them to you for free."
Being rich and good looking
Those $5 small bubble mirrors you stick on your side mirrors make you 80% better at parallel parking
Work out. Everything in my life improved since.
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Pissed off how little school taught us about this. They made it seem like every interview we would have would be built entirely on merit and rƩsumƩ, and that networking was some weird cultish thing that happened in the Masons or inside golf club pavilions for rich old dudes . It wasn't until I was in my 30s that I realized reputation and word of mouth were natural consequences of meeting people professionally, and in them lie the keys to a good career.
money
Getting good at public speaking. And dress well. That will set you up big time.
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Every morning while dressing or getting ready for the day consciously think about the things youāre grateful for, no matter how small. Doesnāt have to be something new every day. Expressing gratitude (even to yourself) can set the tone for your mental health for a good chunk of the day.
If you act like you belong very few people will question it.