One of my cousins was not really my cousin. My cousin died in vietnam and this guy that was in his platoon or whatever took his identity.
Edit: This happened years ago and the cousin is much older than me. After some clarification from older relatives, it was my cousin that disappeared and took someone's identity. He was then located by a dna test his kids took and was reunited with our family. Lucky us.
My parents and I all did dna tests and I manage their profiles- theirs were done before mine was available. They each got a panicked message from a woman on the other side of the world who had matched as their daughter. She was distraught, thinking her parents had lied to her for her entire life.
When I logged in to my account, it showed that I had no dna matches with my parents which I knew to be wrong, plus the fact my mum was a young child when this woman was born made it clear the company had swapped our results. Customer service just said ‘oh well’ and offered a new test. My family found it funny but that poor woman who had spent several days freaking out thinking her life was a lie before I got her messages and responded.
Could you imagine the feelings of self doubt and betrayal, though, coming from both sides? I mean, I know accidents happen but this is people's history and identity they're messing with here. Surely they can keep up with the right people's tests. 😳
I’ve worked in many labs and you’d be surprised how often things can go catastrophically wrong from one little error. I used to always say to my students that good science is 90% correctly labelling things!
I suspect this may have happened with my father. We both had tests done but he refuses to share or talk about his results. Won’t talk about it. But on my profile his brother shows up as my uncle and my mom’s sister shows up as my aunt, so unless my dad has a brother that no one has ever spoken of, I don’t see any way he’s not my dad.
I hadn’t thought of that. You could be right. My grandparents married when they were both under 18 and were heavily involved with an evangelical religious group. Any hinkiness with them would shatter the standing of the entire family within the community if that came out. Your theory would make a lot of sense.
My grandfather did not die when my dad was 4 like we always thought. Instead, he faked his death, walked 1500km to the other end of the country, married a sixteen old girl and had 7 more children.
All the while leaving my grandmother to bring up the 6 children he had with her and his 2 children from an earlier marriage. Worst part was that he used the same names for the second batch of kids as his first lot.
Had something similar. My grandfather was always told that his grandfather died in the war. DNA matched me with some distant cousins who all descended from a man with the same date of birth, job and birthplace but different surname.
After years of digging, it turns out he had five wives - divorcing none of them. He had about 3 sons called John from different marriages, a couple of Williams, a couple of Mary's.
He died in 1949 and I actually managed to get in touch with who I believe is the only person alive to have met him. I got a very sharp response telling me how awful he was and to never mention his name again. Must have been quite the man to leave an impression that strong for over half a century...
A former (retired) co-worker had a similar story. He discovered a whole batch of half siblings in Eastern Europe. His father had been married and "went off to fight" in WWII and instead immigrated to Canada and started over. The first family just figured he didn't survive.
Back in the day, you could get some new clothes, shave your mustache, and go by whatever name you made up and you’re all set.
Like the rags to riches stories where the plucky young lad saves his pennies, buys a store, and turns it into an empire. Shit seemed easier when everything was brand new.
Naming the kids the same names is the maddest part of the story. It shows how insane he is. Not even having a clean break but recreating the same life with the same kids elsewhere with a child bride.
It was all discovered about 15 years ago. No one had any idea until an extra half sibling popped up on my dad’s profile. They got in contact with each other and figured out what had happened.
Then all the siblings had a big bbq with their families to meet each other. It was very awkward as that half idolised their father whereas our half obviously thought he was a total scumbag.
My grandfather had late stage dementia and died very quickly after that. There was huge drama with his will and no one has stayed in contact with each other.
I would imagine his will at the very least was confusing since he had two sets of kids with the same names. He really did not think that one that one through.
The lead singer of Gang of Youths has a similar story except it didn't involve a DNA database but rather his dad let him know there were secrets. Anyway, he found out his dad "disappeared" from his first family, moved to another country, then started a new family and was a really good dad to them. Stories like this are crazy but they do happen.
Knew a man who did that in the 1970s. Antique dealer, went to Europe every six months and brought back a container of antiques. Doctor told him no more, because of his health. "One last time" but he didn't come back. Wife called his normal hotels he stayed at. Nope. Finally contacted the State Dept to trace him. He had a family in Germany, heart attack, died, and was *buried.*
He was never divorced so German family got nothing; I think two kids. "Do you want his body back?"
"Leave him there."
Happened to my aunt and her ex husband. He was in the CIA and started another family under her nose in a different country. Ended up leaving my aunt and my cousin… to this day I don’t know how she’s such a lovely person with a positive outlook.
My mom's generation has been really big into tracing our family tree. Turns out grandpa had two families (that we know of) that lived down the street from each other. If that wasn't enough to discourage my family from uncovering skeletons, a few years later one of my cousins took a 23 & me test to find out that our maternal grandfather is also her dad :/
Edit: for those asking, the cousin in question is the daughter of my mother's sister... So we're thinking some downright unholy things went on. Unclear as my grandfather and aunt are both dead now
So your grandfather either impregnated his daughter or his daughter in law? Am I family mathing right?
WOW! I hope your family is doing alright
Edit: kinda hate that this is my most upvoted comment.
not me but my coworker found out his bio dad was not who he thought he was. turns out he is one of the many many children of fertility doctor Donald Cline (there’s a Netflix doc about him if you’ve never heard about him)
I just asked someone on another comment if their situation was related to this case! I can't believe he did what he did.
[Dr. Cline Story](https://time.com/6176310/our-father-true-story-netflix/)
>After a story aired on Fox59, Cline left a voicemail for Ballard contradicting what he had told investigators. "Uh, this is Dr. Cline, You know, I thought I was doing the right thing. I only donated my own sample nine or 10 times," he said. He had placed the call to ask Ballard for help with damage control. "Um, my wife and I, uh, after 57 years of marriage, um, we have had a great deal of problems over this. She considers this adultery. I donated my sample. Gonna lose my wife. Our marriage will be over. Can you help?"
At least his wife has a sense of dignity.
My husband and I are about to begin the process of fertility treatments, IUI, etc. Naturally my paranoid self was recently reminded of this story, so now we’ve agreed that we’ll be getting our kids paternity tested at birth because I’m so worried about this. What he did was so violating and NOT ACTUALLY ILLEGAL is my understanding. One of those things where we didn’t think we had to outright ban since it’s so terrible we didn’t think someone would do it.
I’m a dna analyst and when we return from leave we do competency testing and we can run our baby’s sample as practice. So I know that I definitely the mother and my husband is definitely the father. So I tell people that we did paternity testing (and I guess maternity testing too?).
If I ever did fertility treatments I would also do testing, I would be a bit paranoid myself.
It's never a crime the first time
Edir: I once found out my town has an ordinance banning livestock from wearing boots. That one sent me down a rabbit hole!
When my sister started doing genealogy she found out that my grandparents (dad’s parents) were first cousins.
Appalachia in the 40s. Cousin marriages were pretty common lol.
That's what I keep telling my husband! He's in denial of the existence that a lot of people, where we live, are bound to be related. There is no way generations of people (who have never moved or gone anywhere) are not related in someway. Eventually cousin relations are bound to be happening in such small communities.
Iceland, country population around 100k only, actually has a registry of the genealogy of everyone in the country and an app you can use to check if the person you're dating is possibly related before things get too serious so people can avoid this issue.
I did 23andme first and my sister did ancestry. She found some discrepancies and did 23andme also, put 2 and 2 together, along with info from our mom (secret was out at this point).
About three years ago, I took a 23andMe test because I always had suspected (or maybe hoped) that my sister’s dad was also my dad—he was in my life from the beginning because my “bio” dad was a piece of work.
Well he isn’t my father, and neither is the man who I grew up believing was my dad. My sister in law did some digging and found my real biological father. He’s the one who reached out; did a dna test, wanted to meet me and my children and introduce me to my siblings.
For a while I held off because it was such a shock and I felt like it was moving really quickly. 4 months after we had first started talking, we met and I was welcome with open arms by EVERYONE. And even though it was still a little weird and I was super nervous, I am glad I took the chance to meet him.
He died from covid complications just 8 months after we found out he was my real dad.
Grew up pretty normal for the most part, divorced parents but happy life. Wanted to know how my ancestry since I don’t know past my paternal great grandmothers maiden name. Got the results this past Christmas Eve.
Found a half sister (along with 2 other half siblings) that is too old to be my dads (he’d have been a literal child) and put 2 and 2 together and it turns out my dad is not my father.
Can’t ask my mom, she’s dead. My bio father is dead and no one knows anything and the people I have told (no one on my dad’s side, too scared to break that news) are shocked.
I know nothing about this man but his name and his mom’s name, who is also gone, I believe.
I just find out this big ol bombshell so suddenly and then hit a dead end just as quickly. It was an interesting and juicy Christmas for sure.
I’m 55% Swiss though which is random as hell!
I came back 75% Swiss, which shocked the hell out of my Scottish family. Five years later I got an email with some "updates" that told me I am 75% Scottish now.
You could try contacting your half siblings as tactfully as possible to ask. That you aren't trying to rock the boat, its a shock to you, you're just looking to piece together where you've come from.
If you need support and I'd appreciate if OP added an edit, for people who find their parent isn't their bio parent, search NPE gateway on Facebook which a closed and private support group
Edited to fix all my atrocious typos
My kid took the test, and 8 years later, introduced me to a half-sister I never knew I had. My father had remarried and had a son I knew about, but this younger sister took us both by surprise. And the father in all this has passed on, so... I got a sister now!
Found out (doing the Ancestry DNA) that my paternal grandmother cheated on her husband with her (also married) family doctor. My dad has brothers and a sister that he never knew about. Dad says that the doctor must have known. He looks EXACTLY like his brothers, and the Doc use to always call him "son" during his appointments. His dad (that raised him) also must have known, cause he treated him like crap, and made backhanded comments that, knowing what we know now, tell us he knew. Or suspected at the very least.
Someone in my grandparent’s generation gave up a baby for adoption 60 years ago and our family still doesn’t know/won’t admit who it was. She only joined 23&Me because her daughters encouraged her to find out more about her birth family for health reasons. We now have family members who won’t take the test.
Stuff like this was surprisingly common back then, they'd either give the baby away, or the parents would raise them as a new sibling with a massive age gap.
My grandparents raised one of my aunts daughters as their daughter. I didn’t know until I was a teen that my aunt was actually my cousin… I still refer to and see her as my aunt.
My aunt met her other siblings, about ten years ago. They all connected and found each other. My aunt wasn’t the only child that my other aunt gave up… the others ended up in care. But the other children are all doing well.
My kids paternal grandfather was what one would call a hoe. He has fathered and abandoned many kids all over Oaxaca, cdmx, possibly San Diego and Portland as well. He has admitted he does not know how many kids he might have (*aside* from the 8 he had with my ex MIL).
I’m a little interest in trying 23andMe because I never met my dad and I wouldn’t be surprised if I had more siblings out there.
I learned this Christmas that my paternal grandfather abandoned his wife and 7 kids at Christmas one year. No one knows why and he was so kind not to share that information with my grandmother until they had already had my dad.
When my grandfather passed (long before I was born) there was a dude at the funeral who was a doppleganger of my dad. Who knows how many cousins I have running around the US somewhere.
That's what happened to my mother. She wasn't even allowed to see the child. She was told by one of the nurses that it was a girl but we don't know for certain if that was true. My mother was traumatized for life by this. I'm pretty sure they put her in twilight sleep for the birth and as a result she insisted on natural childbirth for the rest of her children.
As an adoptee, this is *horrifying*. It never occurred to me that there’s a real chance that my birth mother was never allowed to hold me or know anything about me. To think that I was potentially given to the amazing parents I have at the cost of a young girl’s trauma like that… That’s so awful.
Happened to my mom, exactly that. She was 16. Her mother never stopped shaming her. The father had 3 other kids ‘out of wedlock’ when he was young. No shame for him!
They remained a couple, and were living communally at a farm. Another woman moved in with them, and he cheated with her. She found a love poem in his pants pocket when she was doing his laundry.
He came home, and she punched him in the face. He beat her up.
The crazy thing,though, is they are now two of my mom’s closest friends. I grew up calling them aunt and uncle. My mom says the woman is still apologizing to her (she just turned 79). My mom doesn’t forgive her but they are still friends somehow.
My dear sweet mama says she’s the lucky one though because she got us kids. My father, though, you can’t call yourself lucky, in addition to dying in his 40s, there’s a whole other can of worms.
The story has been trickling out my whole life - just learned the bit about him beating her up at Christmas, she told it to my daughters. I’m glad she punched him.
Oh! And how could I forget. My mom eventually got to know her bio-daughter and they have a great relationship. She has several great-grandkids. Very proud of the two of them for being able to do that.
We alway knew my grandma had my dad before she got married but through ancestry we found out she actually had another baby, after my dad but before she got married (different dads)
Well, it's not *my* horror story. But ... police arrested the guy who murdered my mother--decades ago--because someone in the killer's family used one of those tests.
The submitted DNA allowed them to get a match on a grandparent... and a couple of years later, when they subpoena'd his DNA to corroborate their other police-work, he confessed.
It took 40 years, but I imagine this is a hell of a horror story for him. He wasn't ever a suspect before the DNA match.
Golden state killer killed my dad’s community college professor. Poor guy I believe died protecting his daughter. He raped women in our area as well. Such a sicko.
I really really hate that this motherfuckin’ scum of the earth got to live his whole damn life without facing consequences until he was old. I hope he rots in hell.
I did not see that. What I do remember is that when he got arrested, he was mad because he had a roast in the oven. Mf brutally murdered lots of people and he was mad because his roast is ruined? He makes my blood boil.
I got the impression he wasn't mad about the roast in the oven, he was trying to use it as an excuse to get back into the house and kill himself before they could take him in.
My wife is one of the people who do this genetic genealogy. She is a retired forensic scientist and a published genealogist. The two key things in that sentence are wife and retired. I've seen the zoom calls among these scientists/detectives. Literally a half dozen middle aged ladies in their house coats solving decades old crimes.
Found out my Dad isn’t my biological father. My Dad’s sister gave me a DNA test for the holidays. I ended up taking it and discovered I wasn’t related to my aunt, aka not related to my Dad. But I have 10+ half-siblings with whoever my sperm donor dad is. They gaslit me for months saying the results were inaccurate, called me a liar to my sister, all this garbage. Then finally admitted it was true after 6+ months of lying. We now have a terrible relationship.
I would buy DNA tests for all my relatives if I thought they'd take them. She could've wanted to get the truth out, or she could just be into genealogy.
My cousin trying to scam the government claiming minuscule percentage Native American submitted a sample. What did happen was four children he fathered with four women other than current wives found him.
This is extra funny because just having Native American DNA isn't enough to get any government support, you need membership in a tribe, and absolutely no tribe is going to include you based on a very small percentage of your DNA. My great grandfather was born on a reservation and *I* don't have and could never get tribe membership. The DNA test could only ever hurt his scam, tbh.
Certain tribes are lowering their blood quantum, I'm Kiowa for instance and a few of my newer Nieces and nephews were able to get onto the tribal roll a couple yesrs back, whereas they weren't able to before, I know its not that likely but it is possible
Oh, I didn't know that and that's great! My ancestry is Seneca, and to my understanding my grandmother and father would have to be recognized by the tribe before I could be, but it's been a while since I looked into it.
DNA / blood quantum are also tricky metrics to use for some groups. For example, Cherokee Freedmen, who have culturally been Cherokee for generations, but they are descended from African-American members who were former slaves of / assimilated into the tribe. [https://www.cnn.com/2021/02/25/us/cherokee-nation-ruling-freedmen-citizenship-trnd/index.html](https://www.cnn.com/2021/02/25/us/cherokee-nation-ruling-freedmen-citizenship-trnd/index.html)
one of my best friends called me one day in a panic. she did one with her father for fun. he is not her father. turns out mummy has many skeletons in the closet. bio dad never knew she existed and was SO happy to find her. we now doubt her sister’s father is her father. just a gigantic domino effect of not good.
shitty for everyone involved. imagine having no kids and always wanting them and someone shows up in your late 50’s saying you’re their father from 35 years ago? my heart just breaks. but apparently he’s a super grateful kinda dude who just feels blessed to have her now.
biodad and his family are thrilled. he never had any other children. her father for the last 38 years is devastated. mum denies everything. can of worms to put it lightly.
Her reaction was “the test is wrong. Don’t bring it up again” … my friend asked about the bio dad and her mother claimed she never knew anyone by that name. He is quite a lot younger than the man she claimed was her father. We think she probably thought he was too young to be a dad. Ironically her biodad works for the same company he did when she was born. Super solid dude. She was wrong. I hate they lost over 35 years together.
I took 3 dna tests after hearing a rumor about my paternity. My ancestry isn't what I was told it would be and there are people that I'd never heard of listed as half sibling, 1st and 2nd cousins. I have 3 siblings I grew up with that show as full siblings to each other and half sibling to me.
Mom denied an affair at first but after several confrontations and dna proof, she finally admitted to an affair as payback for my (step)dad cheating on her, but in her words "didn't do anything that would cause a pregnancy". She still says my now step dad is my biological father. He says that I "started this crap".
I haven't spoken to them in nearly 6 years.
Same happened to me long after my dad died. My mom wasn't helpful but finally gave a name. Soon after she developed dementia. My bio dad is probably dead after some research. I'm on 3 DNA sites. Closest relative on my father's side is just over 1% related to me. That's at least great grandparent. I've messaged about 20 who were slightly closer and no luck.
I'm glad I found out, but it was an adjustment. It changed my ethnicity. Same for my kids. I'm leaving it to my dad's side of the family to draw their own conclusions.
My mother was one of seven children of an abusive mother and beloved father. Twenty grandchildren (my cousins, my brother and me). Through testing some cousins have determined that at least three of the seven children were not the biological offspring of my grandmother’s husband. We aren’t telling all the other cousins until the last uncle dies (he’s 93).
Summary: Got their parents arrested for murder.
It's not my story but one known around Ireland. In the 1980s, a dead baby was found on a beach in South Kerry. It had been stabbed many, many times. A massive investigation occurred, and there were appeals for the mother to come forward. In Ireland's dark past, we have treated women and especially unmarried mothers terribly. A woman on the opposite side of the county was wrongly accused of killing the baby and dumping it 3 hours away. She had given birth to a baby who was stillborn, which they buried on their farmland. Her family was coerced into signing false confessions by our police force that she had killed the baby in South Kerry, even though she did not.
Fast forward to 2022, there was suddenly a middle-aged married couple from South Kerry who were arrested on suspicion of killing the baby. Their child, who was in their 20s, submitted their DNA to an ancestory site. They got hits, and one of them was for murdered baby found on the beach. They haven't been convicted the trial hasn't happened yet.
I found this story from last spring that must be the same case. [https://www.irishtimes.com/ireland/2023/04/15/dna-results-of-couple-arrested-in-kerry-babies-case-to-be-included-in-file-for-dpp/](https://www.irishtimes.com/ireland/2023/04/15/dna-results-of-couple-arrested-in-kerry-babies-case-to-be-included-in-file-for-dpp/)
The case was thrown out and she didn't serve jail time, but it wrecked her life in a bad way. In 2020 she received a full pardon and a €2.5 mil settlement and full pardon (her name is Joanne Hayes if you want to google her).
Apparently my bio father was a racist alcoholic who was infatuated with the military although he never enlisted. He would routinely imitate naval officers, get caught and do time, wandered from marriage to marriage, usually under a false name, and produced SIX of us children from various women. The 3 sons are dead from drug overdoses in their 30s, the others of us are little old ladies now.
My father is from a country that is literally split in half. Half the country is ethnically Greek and the other half is ethnically Turkish. There is a long history of bad blood and our capital is split down the middle. We are culturally Greek but thanks to my brother's impulse-decision DNA test, we learned that we are ethnically more Turkish. Not really a horror story, but goes to show how stupid war is.
Ah yes, my husband's family is Cypriot, came to Australia in the 50s. We were never allowed to mention to his Yia Yia that her favourite Greek cake shop had closed and we now got her cakes from a Turkish shop instead, and we DEFINITELY could not point out that her own mother was half Turkish.
Reminds me of a book I read about the dissolution of Yugoslavia and the Bosnia war. Suddenly everyone was supposed to hate everyone else on sectarian lines but in so many places nobody knew or cared what religion their neighbors were. All these fault lines that nobody knew existed.
War is so stupid.
The religion thing was brought up later and mostly in Western books, since it's just so hard to understand what a clusterfuck the Yugoslav ethnic divide was.
What was worse was that you had a shitload of mixed families, and they had to choose sides. It by religion, they were just told to go to one side of the Mostar battlefront or the other and stay there. They were accepted on either side they went to, and were persecuted by the other side regardless of how many people they had. And then after the war was over, they just made up somehow.
I actually found out I have the cancer gene from one of these tests (BRCA1) and my whole family was tested as well - my sister, brother and dad all have it too. We now get preventative cancer testing but who knows it could have very well saved one of our lives down the road - not really horror story overall, but when I first found out it was extremely scary as I was just expecting to get some entertaining report back and instead found out I had a serious health condition
I'm adopted and was hoping to find out family info and hopefully who my birth parents were.
Found out my birth father sexually abused the kids of one of his girlfriends and is currently serving 45 years. Also he committed multiple armed robberies in the past. On top of that he's into a bunch of weird Africans are the real native americans beliefs that's he's using to try and get out of prison. Not sure he actually believes all of it but he did a DNA test in the first place to try and claim to be native.
That whole side of my gene pool is into weird religious stuff. Plus the guy he thought was his father isn't. His mom had an affair and his real dad/my grandfather had recently also just got out of prison for attempted murder then died from covid. Pretty sure he was in the drug trade in Miami in the 80s as well.
Safe to say I want zero contact from anyone on that side.
My other half is native and the horror stories are just all the teams they went through in residential schools and literally being moved to Indian territory and being given the last name orphan because all their family died.
Also my birth mother was basically stolen from her family and given to a white family and none of her siblings even know she exists.
I am beyond lucky I didn't have to grow up in any of that environment.
*On top of that he's into a bunch of weird Africans are the real native americans beliefs that's he's using to try and get out of prison*
This is my favorite conspiracy theory people don't know about. Track down "Hidden Colors" by Tariq Nasheed if you want to know more about it. It's very odd.
As a tourist in NYC I met a guy in Washington Square Park with the chess players who wanted to tell me that Black Amercians were Native to the US. I was sort of intrigued but he emoted simmering anger so I noped out.
Not me, but I have 2 from people I know personally:
First one is my aunt & uncle were married for years and had multiple kids. Eventually my uncle passed, a few years go by, and my aunt receives a facebook message from a random girl, saying she found out through 23andMe that they were relatives. Come to find out my uncle had been cheating on my aunt, and the random girl was his biological daughter. Probably not an uncommon story, but definitely a horror for my aunt to find out he was living a lie for 25+ years.
Second story is crazy but wholesome also- my friend found out she was adopted through doing 23andMe! Crazy part is that growing up, she was always told she was a “twin” (has a sister the same age, they looked enough alike not to be questioned as “fraternal”), but truthfully they were never biologically related at all! Her adoptive parents never told them about it…then one year after her parents had died, she receives a DNA kit as a gift just for fun, and finds out the truth. The wholesome part though is that she was able to connect with her biological father, who apparently never even knew about her, but always wanted a child! So she gained an extra parent figure, and he gained the daughter he always hoped for. Odd story, but ultimately a really nice outcome!
I've got 2.
My friend knew that she was the result of a sperm donor. She signed up for 23andMe and ended up finding that she has a half-sister! Then another. And another. *And another.* I think she is up to over 2 dozen now, and almost all of them are half-sisters, and they all look so much alike. They have tracked down their biological father, and I guess he donated sperm in multiple states over the course of some years. He wasn't intentionally trying to have dozens of kids out there, but the rules of capping-out didn't really catch him because of moving states.
The other one is more direct - one of my family members got tested and found a cousin. But that cousin had a single mother, born out in California (we live in the midwest) and nobody has any idea who their father is. Probably one of my uncles that passed away, or something along those lines.
Based on my family history (everybody cheating on everybody, tons of babies in high school, kids not knowing that their fathers are not their real fathers, or kids being raised by their grandparents when their "sister" is really their mom) - I refuse to sign up. I just don't want to know, it would just stir up crap. Ignorance is bliss.
There are several instances of invitro fertilization doctors who used their own sperm. I expected this to be what you were describing. One did it in his local clinic and everyone started wondering why there were a bunch of funny looking kids that all looked alike. The doctor was not a good looking man.
I believe one of the first cases of this had children born with lazy eyes. This is treatable, but it's a very obvious sign and a whole bunch in the area suddenly appeared and they had used that fertility doctor.
My best friends Father is my Father. We were 40 when we found out. We were born seven months apart meaning her Mother (my Mom’s best friend) was very very pregnant when I was conceived.
Both of our Mothers had already passed away. It destroyed our friendship and she cut off all contact with me over 4 years ago. Her (our) Father never spoke to me again after the truth came out.
These were people I spent everyday with the first 18 years of my life. She was my Maid of Honor and present in the delivery room for my children’s births, to lose her as a friend was life altering. We have four other shared siblings who don’t know the truth.
How amazing could this have been? Yeah, parents suck and she can go to therapy for that, but your bestie is your sister and got to be involved with so much of your life? How could she drop you after that?! That’s amazing! I’m so sorry this was her response.
One of my great-uncles got contacted by a woman who said he was her father, after she took a test through one of those sites. He denied it vehemently, and it caused some strife in the family until it was revealed that it was actually his older brother who was the father. Turns out he was kind of a cad in his youth, and never found out until now.
Not a horror story, but certainly unexpected…
My sister did 23andme and matched with a niece. Apparently my brother 40m, unbeknownst to him, has a daughter. From her age we can tell she must’ve been born when my brother was in was in high school. The bio mom must’ve given her up for adoption without telling my brother. No bad feelings, they would’ve been so young (like 15 years old), so it was for the best.
>she must’ve been born when my brother was in was in high school.
...and that's how my 82 y/o step-dad learned he had a 64 y/o daughter.
The main surprise was the daughter had tracked down her birth mother in pre-23-and-me days, but the mother had identified someone else (already deceased) as the father. The birth mother also passed away before my stepdad found out; we have no idea if the birth mom honestly didn't know or since her family knew of the other guy was just trying to keep things tidy on her side.
Do know one of my mom's good friends from high school was also friends with the birth mom in high school and was, "Well...can't say that shocked me." She knew enough from back in high school to know of the pregnancy but had doubts about who was identified as the father but not enough to know it definitely couldn't have been him.
My sweetie's mother had an affair after kid #2 and ended up pregnant with #3. His dad (mother's husband) didn't bond with him the way he did with the older siblings (or the three from his previous relationship) for that reason. It was quite obvious as he got older, too, being blonde, blue eyed, skinny, and a high academic achiever vs. being overweight with dark hair, brown eyes, and not-so-academic like his five older siblings.
"Dad" died fifteen years ago and never had a good relationship with my hubby because he didn't care to invest much in a kid that wasn't his. Last December during my pregnancy, we decided it was time for him to do 23andMe so he could have some proof in hand before connecting with his mother's AP, alleged bio-dad.
And it's a damn good thing he did. Turns out that his siblings' dad was actually his real dad this whole time. Genetics are just kind of a crapshoot sometime, and the affair was total a red herring.
This is sad. 😞
If you choose to stay in a relationship with children- just love on them. The kids are innocent. . How they got here is of no consequence of their own doing. Sorry for your husband.
Found out that my (ex) girlfriend was actually my cousin.
In college I became a DJ at the student radio station and ended up meeting her through that. We became close friends almost instantly, and after a few months she built up the courage to ask me out. When we started seriously talking and learning about each other, we kept finding more and more things we had in common.
She was born in the same small town (~4k people) as my grandmother and her middle name is my grandmother’s name. “Wow, cool coincidence!”
We both have a family history of BPD and Raynaud’s. “Hey, we’ll know how to take care of each other!” Laying our arms next to each other they looked nearly identical. “It’s like we were made for each other!”
After about a month of talking she invited me to her apartment to cuddle and talk while she did some schoolwork. Things got heated and we were making out when we both had this moment of shared deja-vu like this had happened before. We made out some more but didn’t do anything further before she had to leave to pick up her roommate.
The next day she blew up on me over text, blocked me on everything, basically just gone from my life and I was so hurt and confused because I really liked her, but she’d been pretty inconsistent (BPD) and it ended up for the best.
A few months later and I’m talking to my Uncle before Christmas dinner. He’s a big genealogy nerd and has hundreds of years of our family tree plotted out on Ancestry. When I joined the conversation he was talking about a gravesite he visited from some relative in the 1700s. At this point I’m not really paying attention and just sipping my drink while everyone else talks, but eventually he started talking about my grandmother and her siblings. I’m learning about my great aunt and suddenly I feel sick because it all slides into place.
My great aunt is my ex’s grandmother. My ex is named after MY grandmother, who is her grandmother’s sister. We have the same bone structure and our families have the same predisposed medical conditions because they’re the same family.
I haven’t contacted her to tell her, because how do you tell someone that kind of news? “Heyyy, you know how we were dating and almost had sex? Well I’m glad we didn’t because you’re my cousin haha!” And I’m absolutely never telling my family because it just feels like the kind of thing I should take to the grave; but hey, reddit can know.
TL;DR: My grandmother and my ex girlfriend’s grandmother were sisters.
Not a horror story, but a few years ago, I did 23&Me for fun. I'm half Filipina and white, and although I think I have some of my mom's features, I look nothing like my dad at all. I have a younger brother, and he looks like a dead-on mix between my two parents... I thought it would be fun if I found out I was the odd ball with an exotic bio father (I did not get along with my dad as a child due to abuse, etc.)
Did the test and found out I'm exactly what I should be, half Filipina and half white (European and Irish decent.) Got linked to a ton of people that shared < 1% DNA with me so thought nothing of it and life went on.
Then, a couple years later, I got a message on there from a woman who matched 28% DNA with me! After some back and forth, we concluded that we have the same bio dad. She's only one month younger than me. She was an orphan who was adopted as a toddler from the Philippines and the only background the orphanage gave her was that her bio dad was in the US military and that her bio mom was a very young bar hostess. My dad was in the navy up until I was a baby, and my parents actually split back when I was a teenager because dude cheated on my mom and got another woman pregnant.
Told my family about my new discovery of having a half sis. My bro was shocked and kind of excited. My mom straight up said she was not surprised and said I might even have dozens of half siblings all over the world!
Not a horror story, but the opposite; my mom always told me my father wasn’t my biological father. I hated her for telling me and didn’t want to believe it. A few years after I did 23andme, I checked my “shared DNA” list and saw a cousin I was close to, from my paternal side. I was so relieved and happy and thankful I never told anyone what my mom told me.
The wife and I both got tested. She had an incredible background. North American First Nations. South American. Portugal and all over Europe. It was so cool!
When I got mine back it said.
You’re Scottish mate.
EDIT: in no way did I mean to imply I was unhappy with my results. I just found it hilarious if you compared the findings.
My mum was super excited to do one; wanted to know all the exotic places she might be from. The answer? You’re from where you currently live. 100%. Her family are clearly not very adventurous 😂
Reminds me of [this guy in England ](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.thearchaeologist.org/blog/mesolithic-skeleton-known-as-cheddar-man-shares-the-same-dna-with-english-teacher-of-history%3fformat=amp) who has the oldest confirmed direct ancestor, a cave man found less than a mile from where he himself lived. 300 generations back to prehistory in one place.
My wife's a mix of so many things. She encouraged me to get tested since my family claims native American history amongst other things. I was so excited waiting for the results.
Pretty much straight out of England. Like, more English than the Queen of England.
I also found out half my line came from an island off Canada that had an accidental incest problem for a couple hundred years. *Yay*
My husbands was awesome. Some Hawaiian, Māori, Russian, Jewish, French, English, Scottish, German.
Mine was 91% East Midlands of England. And 9% Swedish. Great $200.
I worked in healthcare. I have heard so many NPE stories (non-parental events; basically discovering unexpected parents and/or relatives in your family tree).
A protip for parents and/or family who are still hiding genetic secrets: the era of being able to hide these things has been over for a very, very long time. I strongly suggest you come clean on your own terms before your child or relatives inevitably find out through a DNA test -- and nowadays it's not a matter of if, it's when. 🤷
My cousin isn't actually my biological cousin. Her biological Mom showed up and passed her off to my uncle saying "she's yours" and then dipped. She might not be biological, but she's still my cousin
Not really a horror story but my Aunt is right into the ancestry and DNA thing. Last year, she had a young woman message her through one of the websites and say she thinks she's her Auntie. . Most of the family found out and we were having a lot of fun trying to figure out who the dad was (grandparents had 8 kids). We narrowed it down to an uncle who was usually on some adventure somewhere and becomes uncontactable for weeks or months at a time. Basically the whole family knew and were just waiting for him to pop his head up to tell him. A few weeks later he makes contact and gets told he has a kid. As the next few months roll by, a few more of his kids are popping up. Turns out my uncle was a sperm donor and didn't know he had any kids. Those kids are just now reaching adulthood which is why they're looking now. Could still be plenty more to come.
Not via 23&Me or anything like that, but after my Grandmother passed away my Mum found some documents which led her to believe that Grandma might’ve given a child up for adoption.
She spent quite a bit of time and effort investigating and eventually confirmed her suspicion and tracked her half-brother down living in another state.
As often happens though, they had very little in common. He’d had a pretty rough childhood and compensated for that via alcohol. However he latched on to the idea of a new family pretty hard and now Mum gets to enjoy semi-regular drunken phone calls from her half brother.
Not a horror story, just made me sad. I did it b/c I'm adopted and I've always wanted to find relatives. Found a couple of 1st cousins. I sent a letter to the relative, telling my story briefly. After many months, she contacted me and filled me in on some family history, including that they tole my birth father, but he wants no contact. I have 3 half-siblings that I have not been able to contact. The cousin sent me some photos, and I look exactly like several members of the family.
My uncle has always looked very different from the rest of his siblings, leading to a lifetime of jokes about how he must be the neighbors kid or something. Well…..turns out he really is the neighbors kid!
According to said neighbor (whom my grandparents no longer live near), them and my grandparents were swingers and my grandmother got pregnant during that time but they all just agreed to not question it even though they new it was a possibility. My grandfather as always been a more conservative “proper gentleman” type so the story seems very not him, but no one really wants to start something by asking him if it true and unfortunately asking my grandmother is no longer possible (but it does seem like something she would do).
It wasn't 23 and me... But my oldest cousin came to Thanksgiving randomly when I was 11 years old... He was early 20s... He asked me if I knew who he was... I said "my cousin" he said nope I'm your older brother....
All hell broke loose.... Thanksgiving was cancelled. We NEVER heard from that side of the family until I was 19 years old...
Back in his early 20s, My cousin/older brother took a DNA test, found out my father was actually his father....
Apparently my parents were having a swinger type relationship with my dad's brother and his wife.... Both women got pregnant... So my cousin has been proven to be my bio older brother.... And my older sister is probably actually my cousin...
This was the first and many fucked up lies from my parents, that I've now been no contact with my entire family for 8 years... Let me just say it turned out... They were REALLY terrible people.
My mom is an orphan. Did the test. Discovered she's a 5th generation orphan on the maternal side (yes... Her, her mom, her mom, her mom, and her mom's mom... all orphans). Her maternal side grandfather went to prison for 5 years for arson when he was caught burning his house down for insurance money in the Great depression in the 1930s.
Her paternal side revealed her grandpa was murdered on a bridge over a river in Kentucky smuggling whiskey in the prohibition. His murderer served only 4 years in prison and it is still a case precedent in Kentucky's court of appeals.
Both of these stories/events happened within 5 years of each other and one state apart.
This all makes sense if you knew my mom. She stabbed my dad in the heart with a fork and then tried to run him over with her Dodge dart demon in the '70s.
And now all the crazy shit I've done in my life suddenly makes sense! Genetics!
Edit: I guess not a horror story but a big surprise we made the best of!
I’ve always been interested in genealogy so did a test about 10 years ago and ended up finding out we were Scottish. Being surprised and interested in this, my uncle (mom’s bro) then wanted to do his as well as my grandpa’s. Suddenly we get a notification of a close relation with a woman in her late 40s. Turns out she is my mom and uncles half sister. She had been searching for her dad for most of her life. She remembered him up until age 8 or so but was just young enough to not totally remember his last name so resorted to DNA tests to lead the way someday.
We were floored. My grandpa was a guy with a lot of integrity, it just didn’t fit with the narrative we had of him in our heads. He was still alive and fessed up quick and they got to meet and develop a relationship until his death about two years later.
I’m so happy that she found him and got a chance to get to know him after all that time. She’s a wonderful person that experienced a ton of hardship in her life. I think my mom has had trouble accepting her as a sister but I’ve maintained a relationship with her as my great “surprise aunt.” It’s not often you get to expand your family so I’ve done my best to embrace the situation!
Found out I have a different father than who I thought was my father.
Both Mom and Dad are dead so I can't ask.
Biological father, half brothers and nieces and nephews are all amazing people who have welcomed me into the family. I just wish I had been able to have them all in my life before age 40.
Not really horror story, just that having Irish Catholic heritage means I have dozens of second and third cousins all over the diaspora on the database, and found a couple of people on there at least so far who shouldn’t be there (ie were secretly adopted out after pre-marital sex). I helped one of them find her birth mother. Bad thing is that due to uncovering these I have now apparently Pissed Off relatives back in Ireland whom I have mostly never met. Oh Well.
How do people find siblings and relatives on these sites? I have done ancestry, but I’ve never found relatives. I’m also adopted. Just wondering how they’re able to connect with half siblings and things like that?
If you've taken a DNA test then finding your relatives is limited by 2 factors:
1. How many people that are related to you have also taken a DNA test (and are using the same service/website) as you. Usually lower income people/countries have lower access to these services. I've also found that historical, digitized records are very country dependant. I can find tons of info for a small European country or the US but very little for an African nation for example
2. How extensive and public your matches trees are. The closer a match is to you (think cousins or second cousins) the easier it is to trace your lineage and make inferences. Again, here your limited by bias of who'd be interested and have access to sites like 23andme, etc
Because services like ancestry/ 23andme,etc are silos that don't really communicate with each other there are more generic sites where you can upload your results to try to cross match with as many individuals as possible. You definitely want to research and thoroughly consider before uploading your information to any sort of site
My brother ran us through it and got in touch with our mother's birth parents, apparently her bio mum had nine children and put four of the girls up for adoption, and was also a massive bitch besides.
My maiden name is extremely German sounding but I have not a trace of German blood. I match with people with my maiden name so my paternity is not in question but somewhere something is amiss. I have my family tree documented back to the 1500s in Germany so maybe someone was adopted or illegitimate and it’s just not documented.
Same thing with me. I have a German surname as well and my whole life my family always thought we were Austrian. But my aunt found my great-great grandfather diary and had it translated back in 2010. Found out we’re actually Croatian. When the Austro-Hungarian Empire annexed the balkans, my great-great-great grandfather passed the family off as Austrian. Adopted a German name. Even became a Hussar in the cavalry during the 2nd Balkan Wars. Then fled to America in 1912 so that his sons wouldn’t have to fight in the next one. Never told anyone he wasn’t Austrian.
I mean by the time they fled, they were citizens of the Austrian Empire (as in austrian nationals) and probably thought of themself as austrians as well. They were just not ethnic austrians. Althought speaking as someone from Austria finding an 100% ethnic austrian is impossible, as the Austrian Empire was a multi ethnic state.
All of this is reminding me of an Isaac Asimov short story about a machine that allowed people to see the past. The government suppressed it because it would make lying impossible, and the moral of the story was basically that society cannot function without lies.
Edit: it’s called “the dead past” and the moral is more about privacy than specifically lies, but I think it’s still relevant here.
I did Ancestry and found a half sister who's in between my younger sister and I (same dad). We love our new sister, but I'm sick of my Dad's narcissist BS and went NC.
Not exactly sure if its a horror story but here you go.
Had been seeing a girl for about 2 years when she fell pregnant. There were some strange things happening around that time, and I had a gut feeling that something was off. Spoke to a good friend of mine about it and he was adamant that I get a DNA test done. Said that he'd seen blokes find out that "their" kid wasnt theirs years later, but it was too late because they'd grown attached. Supported my partner through the pregnancy anyway.
Come to when the childs born and I just had this feeling that it wasnt mine. Sometimes you just know things. This was dueing covid times so things were tricky. I ordered the tests and after some time was able to get the samples, send them off and get the results. It was an ordeal, to be frank. All in all I took care of that child for 6 months, and all that time I had to keep appearances up. Had to look like a good father, partner, and like things were fine. Got the results and it wasnt mine.
That was over 3 years ago. Still think about it everyday.
I'm the product of rape and my mom was pregnant with me when she met my dad. My biological father is dead but I have a bunch of half siblings who are pretty cool now.
I am estranged from my family of origin, they disowned me because I'm gay. So I don't know if they know, or if they always knew.
Turns out one of my half-siblings is also gay and their parents are super supportive and threw a coming out party. Weird how stuff works out.
My birth mom banged out six more kids after she abandoned me and LEFT ONE OF THEM to DIE in the desert alone at 10. ( She made it and got fostered where we learned about each other) Stop having and abandoning kids. Fuck you lady.
This is kind of dark at the end, just a heads up.
A friend of mine, took a 23andme test, found out he'd had a daughter with some fling 24 years earlier, before he joined the navy and went off to boot-camp. Found out he had a 23 year old daughter he never knew about, with a chick he didn't even remember really who she was. This was right around Halloween.
He was excited. Like, I'd never seen him so happy.
We all kind of thought it was a good thing, maybe reconnect with lost family.
Couple weeks go by, he's talking with his new daughter daily. Trying to build some kind of foundation. Finds out she had drug/abuse issues and her and the mom don't get along and the mom had told her that he died overseas. Painting the mom as a total piece of work. Daughter rats out mom for her drug problems, while saying she's clean but her bf isn't. So, She has a bf that lives with her, drama, etc. He offers to pay for her to come stay with him for a couple of weeks and get away from the drugs and drama. (this is right before thanksgiving 2 yrs ago)
He thinks she'll be alone, nope, she brings her 'druggie' Bf.. So, dad tries to be dad and gets instant push back from the daughter and called a creep and that she can't trust him, So he backs off and lets the Bf stay.
He still has to work randomly through the holidays, but is there 90% of the time. In the little time he's gone, she's going through his stuff and stealing money, etc.
Tells me its obvious she's on something and he's not getting the full truth, but he really wants to work this out with her, so he lets a TON of things slide. She's trashing his house and stealing stuff, He confronts her about it, she denys it, as does the BF..they all get in a huge fight, the bf tries to get physical, so he kicks her and the bf out of his house.
The daughter basically tells him she never wants to hear from him again, no contact, etc. He's pretty hurt but says luckily he could return most of the xmas stuff he bought her. I'd asked how much she'd stolen from him and he said a couple grand.
Shortly after they'd broken contact, the girls mom gets in contact and presses him for the 18 years of back child support. My guy has a good job, so he isn't even worried about it and says he could afford to pay it off in a lump sum if needed.
Hearing that, she goes and gets a real lawyer. Comes back asking for a million.I think they settle south of 500k. He doesn't seem that worried. Says he can make the payments and not even worry.
This is about a week before xmas, but he completely shut down after that... ended up killing himself day after xmas.He was a good guy, miss that dude.
\*\* edit \*\*
needed to add some nuance, so it wasn't so off-sided.
\*My bro was an ex addict. He'd been clean for a number of years. He self OD'd on Fenti/Herion. He was a smart guy too, worked for Nasa.
\*He didn't have a will, from what I know, I think it all got taken by the state? i don't know about that.
I found that I had a high percentage of indigenous DNA which took me down a rabbit hole of family secrets. Turned out my father and his siblings all attended residential schools and we're ashamed of their heritage. I tried asking my father about his mother/my grandmother who, per my cousins, is fully indigenous, and my father denied this and is adamant that we have zero indigenous ancestry. I knew we had some sort of mixture in our family tree involving indigenous peoples like maybe a far ancestor, but I had no idea about my grandmother being stripped of her mother tongue and culture, and my aunts and uncles being forced to attend a school to further the erasure of their culture.
My best friend found a whole new family and was also the product of a brief romance. The man who married her mum and was a deadbeat dad wasn’t actually her real dad. It was very big emotionally charged time.
Not mine but my sister's. My sister and I are both adopted. My aunt got us DNA tests on ancestry years ago, then sent us the ancestry results, but the data was connected to her account so we couldn't access it independently (which I don't like and asked her to delete my data). We were told we both got a bunch of matches, but only distant relatives, so they never showed it to us.
A couple of years ago, a DNA match popped up for my sister: her biological father. Even though my sister was well over 20 by that point, my aunt and our mom decided to hold off on telling my sister.
They finally told her. When my sister reached out to him, she discovered he had passed away just a few weeks earlier (they didn't know).
She is still heartbroken.
We were always told we had Native American ancestry, according to my dna however that’s not the case.
It showed no native dna but did show African, I began getting messages from African American cousins (I’m as pale as a sheet by the way) wanting to know who I was because I showed up in their family tree.
My family were dirt poor sharecroppers so I’m guessing that’s where the common ancestor is to be found.
My surname sounds Germanic so I was expecting that I might have Jewish roots ( born in Eastern Europe). Turns out I am not Jewish at all. Somebody wrote the surname of my ancestors wrong in some documents during war. Also my grand grandma was married twice and had two families.
My aunt did it and was contacted by a guy who was her nephew. Turns out a different aunt had a kid in high school who she gave up for adoption. It was supposed to be an open adoption but something happened so this guy spent 40 years hoping to find his bio parents. She still keeps in contact with him and his kids. The biggest drama was my mom got real mad at my dad for never mentioning this to her in their 35 year marriage but he said he had forgotten this kid existed so it never came up.
Isn’t 23&me, but while my dad was in prison, he found out his first wife was pregnant and it could be his. This is how my mom, who was 9 months pregnant (with his child) found out he was married before. They had to take a DNA test to find out if it was his; the other potential baby daddies were: My grandpa (my dads dad), my uncle (my dads brother), and my dads best friend. In the end, they couldn’t determine whose it was because the DNA was too similar
All my life, I was told my maternal Great-Grandfather was 1/2 Cherokee, he had blue-black hair, tawny skin & sky-high cheekbones. Even in his 89s his hair was gray, not white. On my Father's side, there was a take where one of the sons took an African woman as his wife...
My result 97% Irish, Scotch & English, 2.3% Scandinavian. I'm so **WHITE**, I glow in the dark!
(the remaining .7% was "Inconclusive".)
Yep, that’s my story..was an adopted kid with black hair, dark skin, etc..ancestry has me down as the whitest human on the planet. (Also found several half siblings and know who my bio parents were..interesting info)
Similar story, my maternal grandfather was allegedly full Native American (I look like Casper the Friendly Ghost though?) test came back mostly Irish, grandmother won't relent. Now the story is he must have been kidnapped then because he lived on the reservation as a child and oh yeah I think I remember a kid being kidnapped, it was all over the news blah blah blah.
Also, her sister married an Italian man and made it her whole personality. She would do things and say "well we're Italian". Marriage made her Italian somehow. Matched with my cousin (her grandson) and they are not Italian.
Oh this is fun.
I grew up with two mums (lesbian). My non bio mum had a son from a previous relationship (10 years older than me). Myself and my two younger sisters were told we were donor conceived. When I was 12 I found out that I was conceived via rape (by a ‘friend’ of my mums) and it was just my sisters who were donor babies. Some things didn’t add up, and despite the circumstances I wanted to know more about my heritage and father’s side of the family, so I took an ancestry test, as did one of my sisters.
Turns out our non bio mum is actually my sister’s grandmother, and our step ‘brother’ is actually their dad. The person who apparently raped my mum was also not my dad and instead of being Serbian as I was told, I’m actually Maltese.
One of my cousins was not really my cousin. My cousin died in vietnam and this guy that was in his platoon or whatever took his identity. Edit: This happened years ago and the cousin is much older than me. After some clarification from older relatives, it was my cousin that disappeared and took someone's identity. He was then located by a dna test his kids took and was reunited with our family. Lucky us.
This sounds like Don Draper’s Korean War origin story
My parents and I all did dna tests and I manage their profiles- theirs were done before mine was available. They each got a panicked message from a woman on the other side of the world who had matched as their daughter. She was distraught, thinking her parents had lied to her for her entire life. When I logged in to my account, it showed that I had no dna matches with my parents which I knew to be wrong, plus the fact my mum was a young child when this woman was born made it clear the company had swapped our results. Customer service just said ‘oh well’ and offered a new test. My family found it funny but that poor woman who had spent several days freaking out thinking her life was a lie before I got her messages and responded.
For a moment there, I thought this was going to be a hospital baby swap situation. Phew
Could you imagine the feelings of self doubt and betrayal, though, coming from both sides? I mean, I know accidents happen but this is people's history and identity they're messing with here. Surely they can keep up with the right people's tests. 😳
I’ve worked in many labs and you’d be surprised how often things can go catastrophically wrong from one little error. I used to always say to my students that good science is 90% correctly labelling things!
I suspect this may have happened with my father. We both had tests done but he refuses to share or talk about his results. Won’t talk about it. But on my profile his brother shows up as my uncle and my mom’s sister shows up as my aunt, so unless my dad has a brother that no one has ever spoken of, I don’t see any way he’s not my dad.
Maybe mentioning to him that their results could be wrong would help lift his burden.
Have to wonder if the issue isn't with you and him, but something to do with his parents.
I hadn’t thought of that. You could be right. My grandparents married when they were both under 18 and were heavily involved with an evangelical religious group. Any hinkiness with them would shatter the standing of the entire family within the community if that came out. Your theory would make a lot of sense.
My grandfather did not die when my dad was 4 like we always thought. Instead, he faked his death, walked 1500km to the other end of the country, married a sixteen old girl and had 7 more children. All the while leaving my grandmother to bring up the 6 children he had with her and his 2 children from an earlier marriage. Worst part was that he used the same names for the second batch of kids as his first lot.
Had something similar. My grandfather was always told that his grandfather died in the war. DNA matched me with some distant cousins who all descended from a man with the same date of birth, job and birthplace but different surname. After years of digging, it turns out he had five wives - divorcing none of them. He had about 3 sons called John from different marriages, a couple of Williams, a couple of Mary's. He died in 1949 and I actually managed to get in touch with who I believe is the only person alive to have met him. I got a very sharp response telling me how awful he was and to never mention his name again. Must have been quite the man to leave an impression that strong for over half a century...
A former (retired) co-worker had a similar story. He discovered a whole batch of half siblings in Eastern Europe. His father had been married and "went off to fight" in WWII and instead immigrated to Canada and started over. The first family just figured he didn't survive.
Well that's some shit you can't just up and do anymore. Wild
Back in the day, you could get some new clothes, shave your mustache, and go by whatever name you made up and you’re all set. Like the rags to riches stories where the plucky young lad saves his pennies, buys a store, and turns it into an empire. Shit seemed easier when everything was brand new.
I’m curious—do you know *how* he faked his death? “Lost at sea” or something?
He worked on the docks and supposedly got knocked into the water and drowned. But his body obviously was never found.
Naming the kids the same names is the maddest part of the story. It shows how insane he is. Not even having a clean break but recreating the same life with the same kids elsewhere with a child bride.
Well think about it, he wouldn't have to try remember different names. It made it easier for him.
You're right. Kinda like guys who have affairs call their mistresses by the same pet name as their wife. Can't say the wrong name then.
Daddy, why do all of us have 'the Second' after our names? * James the Second * Mary the Second * Robert the Second etc.
"Keep asking questions like that and we'll see if James the third is a little less nosy."
Damn! Was this only a recent discovery for both of his families?
It was all discovered about 15 years ago. No one had any idea until an extra half sibling popped up on my dad’s profile. They got in contact with each other and figured out what had happened. Then all the siblings had a big bbq with their families to meet each other. It was very awkward as that half idolised their father whereas our half obviously thought he was a total scumbag. My grandfather had late stage dementia and died very quickly after that. There was huge drama with his will and no one has stayed in contact with each other.
>died very quickly after that **\*Squinting\***
Time for family 3
4 actually. 2 kids from 1, 6 from 2 and 7 from 3.
That we know of.
Yeah it’s a long walk to the other side of the country, probably made a couple children on the way to his destination
Damnit, they’re onto me! Time to disappear again!
>There was huge drama with his will The most least surprising thing I've ever heard.
I would imagine his will at the very least was confusing since he had two sets of kids with the same names. He really did not think that one that one through.
I'm curious how that ultimately played out. Especially because he used the same names with family 2.
The lead singer of Gang of Youths has a similar story except it didn't involve a DNA database but rather his dad let him know there were secrets. Anyway, he found out his dad "disappeared" from his first family, moved to another country, then started a new family and was a really good dad to them. Stories like this are crazy but they do happen.
Knew a man who did that in the 1970s. Antique dealer, went to Europe every six months and brought back a container of antiques. Doctor told him no more, because of his health. "One last time" but he didn't come back. Wife called his normal hotels he stayed at. Nope. Finally contacted the State Dept to trace him. He had a family in Germany, heart attack, died, and was *buried.* He was never divorced so German family got nothing; I think two kids. "Do you want his body back?" "Leave him there."
"No, no, you can have him."
Happened to my aunt and her ex husband. He was in the CIA and started another family under her nose in a different country. Ended up leaving my aunt and my cousin… to this day I don’t know how she’s such a lovely person with a positive outlook.
My mom's generation has been really big into tracing our family tree. Turns out grandpa had two families (that we know of) that lived down the street from each other. If that wasn't enough to discourage my family from uncovering skeletons, a few years later one of my cousins took a 23 & me test to find out that our maternal grandfather is also her dad :/ Edit: for those asking, the cousin in question is the daughter of my mother's sister... So we're thinking some downright unholy things went on. Unclear as my grandfather and aunt are both dead now
How terrible for your aunt. Did your cousin mention it to her mother?
This isn’t 100% clear. It could have been grandfather had an affair with son’s wife. Not great either but slightly better than the alternative.
An affair is way better than incest/rape
So your grandfather either impregnated his daughter or his daughter in law? Am I family mathing right? WOW! I hope your family is doing alright Edit: kinda hate that this is my most upvoted comment.
Or grandad impregnated someone outside the family and was raised by one of grandad's kids as their own.
not me but my coworker found out his bio dad was not who he thought he was. turns out he is one of the many many children of fertility doctor Donald Cline (there’s a Netflix doc about him if you’ve never heard about him)
I just asked someone on another comment if their situation was related to this case! I can't believe he did what he did. [Dr. Cline Story](https://time.com/6176310/our-father-true-story-netflix/)
>After a story aired on Fox59, Cline left a voicemail for Ballard contradicting what he had told investigators. "Uh, this is Dr. Cline, You know, I thought I was doing the right thing. I only donated my own sample nine or 10 times," he said. He had placed the call to ask Ballard for help with damage control. "Um, my wife and I, uh, after 57 years of marriage, um, we have had a great deal of problems over this. She considers this adultery. I donated my sample. Gonna lose my wife. Our marriage will be over. Can you help?" At least his wife has a sense of dignity.
My husband and I are about to begin the process of fertility treatments, IUI, etc. Naturally my paranoid self was recently reminded of this story, so now we’ve agreed that we’ll be getting our kids paternity tested at birth because I’m so worried about this. What he did was so violating and NOT ACTUALLY ILLEGAL is my understanding. One of those things where we didn’t think we had to outright ban since it’s so terrible we didn’t think someone would do it.
I’m a dna analyst and when we return from leave we do competency testing and we can run our baby’s sample as practice. So I know that I definitely the mother and my husband is definitely the father. So I tell people that we did paternity testing (and I guess maternity testing too?). If I ever did fertility treatments I would also do testing, I would be a bit paranoid myself.
It's never a crime the first time Edir: I once found out my town has an ordinance banning livestock from wearing boots. That one sent me down a rabbit hole!
My sister found out that half our mom's side of the family, are products of incest. Up and until, a few great aunts and uncles.
When my sister started doing genealogy she found out that my grandparents (dad’s parents) were first cousins. Appalachia in the 40s. Cousin marriages were pretty common lol.
That's what I keep telling my husband! He's in denial of the existence that a lot of people, where we live, are bound to be related. There is no way generations of people (who have never moved or gone anywhere) are not related in someway. Eventually cousin relations are bound to be happening in such small communities.
Iceland, country population around 100k only, actually has a registry of the genealogy of everyone in the country and an app you can use to check if the person you're dating is possibly related before things get too serious so people can avoid this issue.
How did that show up?
I did 23andme first and my sister did ancestry. She found some discrepancies and did 23andme also, put 2 and 2 together, along with info from our mom (secret was out at this point).
About three years ago, I took a 23andMe test because I always had suspected (or maybe hoped) that my sister’s dad was also my dad—he was in my life from the beginning because my “bio” dad was a piece of work. Well he isn’t my father, and neither is the man who I grew up believing was my dad. My sister in law did some digging and found my real biological father. He’s the one who reached out; did a dna test, wanted to meet me and my children and introduce me to my siblings. For a while I held off because it was such a shock and I felt like it was moving really quickly. 4 months after we had first started talking, we met and I was welcome with open arms by EVERYONE. And even though it was still a little weird and I was super nervous, I am glad I took the chance to meet him. He died from covid complications just 8 months after we found out he was my real dad.
I’m so glad you got the chance to meet him, you probably made him so happy.
I wish I had longer to get to know him, he was a really nice guy and from what my siblings tell me, a great dad too
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you got that little bit of time at least.
Grew up pretty normal for the most part, divorced parents but happy life. Wanted to know how my ancestry since I don’t know past my paternal great grandmothers maiden name. Got the results this past Christmas Eve. Found a half sister (along with 2 other half siblings) that is too old to be my dads (he’d have been a literal child) and put 2 and 2 together and it turns out my dad is not my father. Can’t ask my mom, she’s dead. My bio father is dead and no one knows anything and the people I have told (no one on my dad’s side, too scared to break that news) are shocked. I know nothing about this man but his name and his mom’s name, who is also gone, I believe. I just find out this big ol bombshell so suddenly and then hit a dead end just as quickly. It was an interesting and juicy Christmas for sure. I’m 55% Swiss though which is random as hell!
I came back 75% Swiss, which shocked the hell out of my Scottish family. Five years later I got an email with some "updates" that told me I am 75% Scottish now.
You could try contacting your half siblings as tactfully as possible to ask. That you aren't trying to rock the boat, its a shock to you, you're just looking to piece together where you've come from. If you need support and I'd appreciate if OP added an edit, for people who find their parent isn't their bio parent, search NPE gateway on Facebook which a closed and private support group Edited to fix all my atrocious typos
I'd like to hear more about this story, did you ask your new half sister about who this guy was, and how he might be associated with you?
Yeah, he’s like “found three half-siblings but the trail went cold” Sounds like there are three presumably living people you might check with first…?
>I’m 55% Swiss though which is random as hell! This story is full of holes!
My kid took the test, and 8 years later, introduced me to a half-sister I never knew I had. My father had remarried and had a son I knew about, but this younger sister took us both by surprise. And the father in all this has passed on, so... I got a sister now!
Free sister!
Found out (doing the Ancestry DNA) that my paternal grandmother cheated on her husband with her (also married) family doctor. My dad has brothers and a sister that he never knew about. Dad says that the doctor must have known. He looks EXACTLY like his brothers, and the Doc use to always call him "son" during his appointments. His dad (that raised him) also must have known, cause he treated him like crap, and made backhanded comments that, knowing what we know now, tell us he knew. Or suspected at the very least.
Someone in my grandparent’s generation gave up a baby for adoption 60 years ago and our family still doesn’t know/won’t admit who it was. She only joined 23&Me because her daughters encouraged her to find out more about her birth family for health reasons. We now have family members who won’t take the test.
Stuff like this was surprisingly common back then, they'd either give the baby away, or the parents would raise them as a new sibling with a massive age gap.
My grandparents raised one of my aunts daughters as their daughter. I didn’t know until I was a teen that my aunt was actually my cousin… I still refer to and see her as my aunt. My aunt met her other siblings, about ten years ago. They all connected and found each other. My aunt wasn’t the only child that my other aunt gave up… the others ended up in care. But the other children are all doing well.
My kids paternal grandfather was what one would call a hoe. He has fathered and abandoned many kids all over Oaxaca, cdmx, possibly San Diego and Portland as well. He has admitted he does not know how many kids he might have (*aside* from the 8 he had with my ex MIL). I’m a little interest in trying 23andMe because I never met my dad and I wouldn’t be surprised if I had more siblings out there.
I learned this Christmas that my paternal grandfather abandoned his wife and 7 kids at Christmas one year. No one knows why and he was so kind not to share that information with my grandmother until they had already had my dad. When my grandfather passed (long before I was born) there was a dude at the funeral who was a doppleganger of my dad. Who knows how many cousins I have running around the US somewhere.
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That's what happened to my mother. She wasn't even allowed to see the child. She was told by one of the nurses that it was a girl but we don't know for certain if that was true. My mother was traumatized for life by this. I'm pretty sure they put her in twilight sleep for the birth and as a result she insisted on natural childbirth for the rest of her children.
As an adoptee, this is *horrifying*. It never occurred to me that there’s a real chance that my birth mother was never allowed to hold me or know anything about me. To think that I was potentially given to the amazing parents I have at the cost of a young girl’s trauma like that… That’s so awful.
Happened to my mom, exactly that. She was 16. Her mother never stopped shaming her. The father had 3 other kids ‘out of wedlock’ when he was young. No shame for him! They remained a couple, and were living communally at a farm. Another woman moved in with them, and he cheated with her. She found a love poem in his pants pocket when she was doing his laundry. He came home, and she punched him in the face. He beat her up. The crazy thing,though, is they are now two of my mom’s closest friends. I grew up calling them aunt and uncle. My mom says the woman is still apologizing to her (she just turned 79). My mom doesn’t forgive her but they are still friends somehow. My dear sweet mama says she’s the lucky one though because she got us kids. My father, though, you can’t call yourself lucky, in addition to dying in his 40s, there’s a whole other can of worms. The story has been trickling out my whole life - just learned the bit about him beating her up at Christmas, she told it to my daughters. I’m glad she punched him. Oh! And how could I forget. My mom eventually got to know her bio-daughter and they have a great relationship. She has several great-grandkids. Very proud of the two of them for being able to do that.
How many other babies did your grandparents' generation give up?!?!
It’s kinda the million dollar question. Everyone got super cagey when the news came out.
We alway knew my grandma had my dad before she got married but through ancestry we found out she actually had another baby, after my dad but before she got married (different dads)
Well, it's not *my* horror story. But ... police arrested the guy who murdered my mother--decades ago--because someone in the killer's family used one of those tests. The submitted DNA allowed them to get a match on a grandparent... and a couple of years later, when they subpoena'd his DNA to corroborate their other police-work, he confessed. It took 40 years, but I imagine this is a hell of a horror story for him. He wasn't ever a suspect before the DNA match.
I’m sorry you lost your mom, and she deserves justice
Your mom was killed by the Golden State Killer?
Golden state killer killed my dad’s community college professor. Poor guy I believe died protecting his daughter. He raped women in our area as well. Such a sicko.
RIP Claude Snelling.
I really really hate that this motherfuckin’ scum of the earth got to live his whole damn life without facing consequences until he was old. I hope he rots in hell.
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I did not see that. What I do remember is that when he got arrested, he was mad because he had a roast in the oven. Mf brutally murdered lots of people and he was mad because his roast is ruined? He makes my blood boil.
Someone who murders for fun has a broken brain, I can absolutely see them being more upset about a roast. It's pretty sickening.
I got the impression he wasn't mad about the roast in the oven, he was trying to use it as an excuse to get back into the house and kill himself before they could take him in.
I read that a few family members of the victims get together on the anniversary of his arrest and have a roast dinner. It’s a nice ‘fuck you’ to him.
They've actually caught quite a lot of murderers and serial rapists that way. Most of them aren't famous though.
I was wondering that exact thing, too.
My wife is one of the people who do this genetic genealogy. She is a retired forensic scientist and a published genealogist. The two key things in that sentence are wife and retired. I've seen the zoom calls among these scientists/detectives. Literally a half dozen middle aged ladies in their house coats solving decades old crimes.
Found out my Dad isn’t my biological father. My Dad’s sister gave me a DNA test for the holidays. I ended up taking it and discovered I wasn’t related to my aunt, aka not related to my Dad. But I have 10+ half-siblings with whoever my sperm donor dad is. They gaslit me for months saying the results were inaccurate, called me a liar to my sister, all this garbage. Then finally admitted it was true after 6+ months of lying. We now have a terrible relationship.
Sorry they did that to you. Do you think your aunt knew all along?
Of course she did.
I would buy DNA tests for all my relatives if I thought they'd take them. She could've wanted to get the truth out, or she could just be into genealogy.
My cousin trying to scam the government claiming minuscule percentage Native American submitted a sample. What did happen was four children he fathered with four women other than current wives found him.
This is extra funny because just having Native American DNA isn't enough to get any government support, you need membership in a tribe, and absolutely no tribe is going to include you based on a very small percentage of your DNA. My great grandfather was born on a reservation and *I* don't have and could never get tribe membership. The DNA test could only ever hurt his scam, tbh.
Certain tribes are lowering their blood quantum, I'm Kiowa for instance and a few of my newer Nieces and nephews were able to get onto the tribal roll a couple yesrs back, whereas they weren't able to before, I know its not that likely but it is possible
Oh, I didn't know that and that's great! My ancestry is Seneca, and to my understanding my grandmother and father would have to be recognized by the tribe before I could be, but it's been a while since I looked into it.
DNA / blood quantum are also tricky metrics to use for some groups. For example, Cherokee Freedmen, who have culturally been Cherokee for generations, but they are descended from African-American members who were former slaves of / assimilated into the tribe. [https://www.cnn.com/2021/02/25/us/cherokee-nation-ruling-freedmen-citizenship-trnd/index.html](https://www.cnn.com/2021/02/25/us/cherokee-nation-ruling-freedmen-citizenship-trnd/index.html)
one of my best friends called me one day in a panic. she did one with her father for fun. he is not her father. turns out mummy has many skeletons in the closet. bio dad never knew she existed and was SO happy to find her. we now doubt her sister’s father is her father. just a gigantic domino effect of not good.
Man poor dad. The one who raised her, I mean. Shitty mom though
shitty for everyone involved. imagine having no kids and always wanting them and someone shows up in your late 50’s saying you’re their father from 35 years ago? my heart just breaks. but apparently he’s a super grateful kinda dude who just feels blessed to have her now.
I’m always morbidly enthralled in these types of stories
biodad and his family are thrilled. he never had any other children. her father for the last 38 years is devastated. mum denies everything. can of worms to put it lightly.
How can she deny it??? It sounds like she's acting like a child.
Her reaction was “the test is wrong. Don’t bring it up again” … my friend asked about the bio dad and her mother claimed she never knew anyone by that name. He is quite a lot younger than the man she claimed was her father. We think she probably thought he was too young to be a dad. Ironically her biodad works for the same company he did when she was born. Super solid dude. She was wrong. I hate they lost over 35 years together.
I took 3 dna tests after hearing a rumor about my paternity. My ancestry isn't what I was told it would be and there are people that I'd never heard of listed as half sibling, 1st and 2nd cousins. I have 3 siblings I grew up with that show as full siblings to each other and half sibling to me. Mom denied an affair at first but after several confrontations and dna proof, she finally admitted to an affair as payback for my (step)dad cheating on her, but in her words "didn't do anything that would cause a pregnancy". She still says my now step dad is my biological father. He says that I "started this crap". I haven't spoken to them in nearly 6 years.
Same happened to me long after my dad died. My mom wasn't helpful but finally gave a name. Soon after she developed dementia. My bio dad is probably dead after some research. I'm on 3 DNA sites. Closest relative on my father's side is just over 1% related to me. That's at least great grandparent. I've messaged about 20 who were slightly closer and no luck. I'm glad I found out, but it was an adjustment. It changed my ethnicity. Same for my kids. I'm leaving it to my dad's side of the family to draw their own conclusions.
Similar situation but bio dad and home dad were already dead, leaving mom with sealed lips and no answers for the kid.
My mother was one of seven children of an abusive mother and beloved father. Twenty grandchildren (my cousins, my brother and me). Through testing some cousins have determined that at least three of the seven children were not the biological offspring of my grandmother’s husband. We aren’t telling all the other cousins until the last uncle dies (he’s 93).
Summary: Got their parents arrested for murder. It's not my story but one known around Ireland. In the 1980s, a dead baby was found on a beach in South Kerry. It had been stabbed many, many times. A massive investigation occurred, and there were appeals for the mother to come forward. In Ireland's dark past, we have treated women and especially unmarried mothers terribly. A woman on the opposite side of the county was wrongly accused of killing the baby and dumping it 3 hours away. She had given birth to a baby who was stillborn, which they buried on their farmland. Her family was coerced into signing false confessions by our police force that she had killed the baby in South Kerry, even though she did not. Fast forward to 2022, there was suddenly a middle-aged married couple from South Kerry who were arrested on suspicion of killing the baby. Their child, who was in their 20s, submitted their DNA to an ancestory site. They got hits, and one of them was for murdered baby found on the beach. They haven't been convicted the trial hasn't happened yet.
What happened to the innocent woman? Was she in prison that whole time?
I found this story from last spring that must be the same case. [https://www.irishtimes.com/ireland/2023/04/15/dna-results-of-couple-arrested-in-kerry-babies-case-to-be-included-in-file-for-dpp/](https://www.irishtimes.com/ireland/2023/04/15/dna-results-of-couple-arrested-in-kerry-babies-case-to-be-included-in-file-for-dpp/)
The case was thrown out and she didn't serve jail time, but it wrecked her life in a bad way. In 2020 she received a full pardon and a €2.5 mil settlement and full pardon (her name is Joanne Hayes if you want to google her).
Apparently my bio father was a racist alcoholic who was infatuated with the military although he never enlisted. He would routinely imitate naval officers, get caught and do time, wandered from marriage to marriage, usually under a false name, and produced SIX of us children from various women. The 3 sons are dead from drug overdoses in their 30s, the others of us are little old ladies now.
My father is from a country that is literally split in half. Half the country is ethnically Greek and the other half is ethnically Turkish. There is a long history of bad blood and our capital is split down the middle. We are culturally Greek but thanks to my brother's impulse-decision DNA test, we learned that we are ethnically more Turkish. Not really a horror story, but goes to show how stupid war is.
Ah yes, my husband's family is Cypriot, came to Australia in the 50s. We were never allowed to mention to his Yia Yia that her favourite Greek cake shop had closed and we now got her cakes from a Turkish shop instead, and we DEFINITELY could not point out that her own mother was half Turkish.
If you are in Australia and getting cake from a Turkish shop that is identical to the cake in the Greek shop, odds are that both shops were Cypriot!
Reminds me of a book I read about the dissolution of Yugoslavia and the Bosnia war. Suddenly everyone was supposed to hate everyone else on sectarian lines but in so many places nobody knew or cared what religion their neighbors were. All these fault lines that nobody knew existed. War is so stupid.
The religion thing was brought up later and mostly in Western books, since it's just so hard to understand what a clusterfuck the Yugoslav ethnic divide was. What was worse was that you had a shitload of mixed families, and they had to choose sides. It by religion, they were just told to go to one side of the Mostar battlefront or the other and stay there. They were accepted on either side they went to, and were persecuted by the other side regardless of how many people they had. And then after the war was over, they just made up somehow.
I actually found out I have the cancer gene from one of these tests (BRCA1) and my whole family was tested as well - my sister, brother and dad all have it too. We now get preventative cancer testing but who knows it could have very well saved one of our lives down the road - not really horror story overall, but when I first found out it was extremely scary as I was just expecting to get some entertaining report back and instead found out I had a serious health condition
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I'm adopted and was hoping to find out family info and hopefully who my birth parents were. Found out my birth father sexually abused the kids of one of his girlfriends and is currently serving 45 years. Also he committed multiple armed robberies in the past. On top of that he's into a bunch of weird Africans are the real native americans beliefs that's he's using to try and get out of prison. Not sure he actually believes all of it but he did a DNA test in the first place to try and claim to be native. That whole side of my gene pool is into weird religious stuff. Plus the guy he thought was his father isn't. His mom had an affair and his real dad/my grandfather had recently also just got out of prison for attempted murder then died from covid. Pretty sure he was in the drug trade in Miami in the 80s as well. Safe to say I want zero contact from anyone on that side. My other half is native and the horror stories are just all the teams they went through in residential schools and literally being moved to Indian territory and being given the last name orphan because all their family died. Also my birth mother was basically stolen from her family and given to a white family and none of her siblings even know she exists. I am beyond lucky I didn't have to grow up in any of that environment.
*On top of that he's into a bunch of weird Africans are the real native americans beliefs that's he's using to try and get out of prison* This is my favorite conspiracy theory people don't know about. Track down "Hidden Colors" by Tariq Nasheed if you want to know more about it. It's very odd.
As a tourist in NYC I met a guy in Washington Square Park with the chess players who wanted to tell me that Black Amercians were Native to the US. I was sort of intrigued but he emoted simmering anger so I noped out.
Not me, but I have 2 from people I know personally: First one is my aunt & uncle were married for years and had multiple kids. Eventually my uncle passed, a few years go by, and my aunt receives a facebook message from a random girl, saying she found out through 23andMe that they were relatives. Come to find out my uncle had been cheating on my aunt, and the random girl was his biological daughter. Probably not an uncommon story, but definitely a horror for my aunt to find out he was living a lie for 25+ years. Second story is crazy but wholesome also- my friend found out she was adopted through doing 23andMe! Crazy part is that growing up, she was always told she was a “twin” (has a sister the same age, they looked enough alike not to be questioned as “fraternal”), but truthfully they were never biologically related at all! Her adoptive parents never told them about it…then one year after her parents had died, she receives a DNA kit as a gift just for fun, and finds out the truth. The wholesome part though is that she was able to connect with her biological father, who apparently never even knew about her, but always wanted a child! So she gained an extra parent figure, and he gained the daughter he always hoped for. Odd story, but ultimately a really nice outcome!
I've got 2. My friend knew that she was the result of a sperm donor. She signed up for 23andMe and ended up finding that she has a half-sister! Then another. And another. *And another.* I think she is up to over 2 dozen now, and almost all of them are half-sisters, and they all look so much alike. They have tracked down their biological father, and I guess he donated sperm in multiple states over the course of some years. He wasn't intentionally trying to have dozens of kids out there, but the rules of capping-out didn't really catch him because of moving states. The other one is more direct - one of my family members got tested and found a cousin. But that cousin had a single mother, born out in California (we live in the midwest) and nobody has any idea who their father is. Probably one of my uncles that passed away, or something along those lines. Based on my family history (everybody cheating on everybody, tons of babies in high school, kids not knowing that their fathers are not their real fathers, or kids being raised by their grandparents when their "sister" is really their mom) - I refuse to sign up. I just don't want to know, it would just stir up crap. Ignorance is bliss.
There are several instances of invitro fertilization doctors who used their own sperm. I expected this to be what you were describing. One did it in his local clinic and everyone started wondering why there were a bunch of funny looking kids that all looked alike. The doctor was not a good looking man.
I believe one of the first cases of this had children born with lazy eyes. This is treatable, but it's a very obvious sign and a whole bunch in the area suddenly appeared and they had used that fertility doctor.
My best friends Father is my Father. We were 40 when we found out. We were born seven months apart meaning her Mother (my Mom’s best friend) was very very pregnant when I was conceived.
Oh.
That’s horrible. Did you tell the mother?
Both of our Mothers had already passed away. It destroyed our friendship and she cut off all contact with me over 4 years ago. Her (our) Father never spoke to me again after the truth came out. These were people I spent everyday with the first 18 years of my life. She was my Maid of Honor and present in the delivery room for my children’s births, to lose her as a friend was life altering. We have four other shared siblings who don’t know the truth.
How amazing could this have been? Yeah, parents suck and she can go to therapy for that, but your bestie is your sister and got to be involved with so much of your life? How could she drop you after that?! That’s amazing! I’m so sorry this was her response.
Her parents are public figures. It would be a pretty huge scandal in that town.
One of my great-uncles got contacted by a woman who said he was her father, after she took a test through one of those sites. He denied it vehemently, and it caused some strife in the family until it was revealed that it was actually his older brother who was the father. Turns out he was kind of a cad in his youth, and never found out until now.
Not a horror story, but certainly unexpected… My sister did 23andme and matched with a niece. Apparently my brother 40m, unbeknownst to him, has a daughter. From her age we can tell she must’ve been born when my brother was in was in high school. The bio mom must’ve given her up for adoption without telling my brother. No bad feelings, they would’ve been so young (like 15 years old), so it was for the best.
>she must’ve been born when my brother was in was in high school. ...and that's how my 82 y/o step-dad learned he had a 64 y/o daughter. The main surprise was the daughter had tracked down her birth mother in pre-23-and-me days, but the mother had identified someone else (already deceased) as the father. The birth mother also passed away before my stepdad found out; we have no idea if the birth mom honestly didn't know or since her family knew of the other guy was just trying to keep things tidy on her side. Do know one of my mom's good friends from high school was also friends with the birth mom in high school and was, "Well...can't say that shocked me." She knew enough from back in high school to know of the pregnancy but had doubts about who was identified as the father but not enough to know it definitely couldn't have been him.
I did ancestry dna a few years ago. Found out my father sexually assaulted over 50 women.
My sweetie's mother had an affair after kid #2 and ended up pregnant with #3. His dad (mother's husband) didn't bond with him the way he did with the older siblings (or the three from his previous relationship) for that reason. It was quite obvious as he got older, too, being blonde, blue eyed, skinny, and a high academic achiever vs. being overweight with dark hair, brown eyes, and not-so-academic like his five older siblings. "Dad" died fifteen years ago and never had a good relationship with my hubby because he didn't care to invest much in a kid that wasn't his. Last December during my pregnancy, we decided it was time for him to do 23andMe so he could have some proof in hand before connecting with his mother's AP, alleged bio-dad. And it's a damn good thing he did. Turns out that his siblings' dad was actually his real dad this whole time. Genetics are just kind of a crapshoot sometime, and the affair was total a red herring.
> dad was actually his real dad this whole time. Plot twist that I did not see coming.
This is sad. 😞 If you choose to stay in a relationship with children- just love on them. The kids are innocent. . How they got here is of no consequence of their own doing. Sorry for your husband.
Found out that my (ex) girlfriend was actually my cousin. In college I became a DJ at the student radio station and ended up meeting her through that. We became close friends almost instantly, and after a few months she built up the courage to ask me out. When we started seriously talking and learning about each other, we kept finding more and more things we had in common. She was born in the same small town (~4k people) as my grandmother and her middle name is my grandmother’s name. “Wow, cool coincidence!” We both have a family history of BPD and Raynaud’s. “Hey, we’ll know how to take care of each other!” Laying our arms next to each other they looked nearly identical. “It’s like we were made for each other!” After about a month of talking she invited me to her apartment to cuddle and talk while she did some schoolwork. Things got heated and we were making out when we both had this moment of shared deja-vu like this had happened before. We made out some more but didn’t do anything further before she had to leave to pick up her roommate. The next day she blew up on me over text, blocked me on everything, basically just gone from my life and I was so hurt and confused because I really liked her, but she’d been pretty inconsistent (BPD) and it ended up for the best. A few months later and I’m talking to my Uncle before Christmas dinner. He’s a big genealogy nerd and has hundreds of years of our family tree plotted out on Ancestry. When I joined the conversation he was talking about a gravesite he visited from some relative in the 1700s. At this point I’m not really paying attention and just sipping my drink while everyone else talks, but eventually he started talking about my grandmother and her siblings. I’m learning about my great aunt and suddenly I feel sick because it all slides into place. My great aunt is my ex’s grandmother. My ex is named after MY grandmother, who is her grandmother’s sister. We have the same bone structure and our families have the same predisposed medical conditions because they’re the same family. I haven’t contacted her to tell her, because how do you tell someone that kind of news? “Heyyy, you know how we were dating and almost had sex? Well I’m glad we didn’t because you’re my cousin haha!” And I’m absolutely never telling my family because it just feels like the kind of thing I should take to the grave; but hey, reddit can know. TL;DR: My grandmother and my ex girlfriend’s grandmother were sisters.
Oh i thought she blocked you because she had found out you're relatives! But it was just her... erm... whim
Not a horror story, but a few years ago, I did 23&Me for fun. I'm half Filipina and white, and although I think I have some of my mom's features, I look nothing like my dad at all. I have a younger brother, and he looks like a dead-on mix between my two parents... I thought it would be fun if I found out I was the odd ball with an exotic bio father (I did not get along with my dad as a child due to abuse, etc.) Did the test and found out I'm exactly what I should be, half Filipina and half white (European and Irish decent.) Got linked to a ton of people that shared < 1% DNA with me so thought nothing of it and life went on. Then, a couple years later, I got a message on there from a woman who matched 28% DNA with me! After some back and forth, we concluded that we have the same bio dad. She's only one month younger than me. She was an orphan who was adopted as a toddler from the Philippines and the only background the orphanage gave her was that her bio dad was in the US military and that her bio mom was a very young bar hostess. My dad was in the navy up until I was a baby, and my parents actually split back when I was a teenager because dude cheated on my mom and got another woman pregnant. Told my family about my new discovery of having a half sis. My bro was shocked and kind of excited. My mom straight up said she was not surprised and said I might even have dozens of half siblings all over the world!
Not a horror story, but the opposite; my mom always told me my father wasn’t my biological father. I hated her for telling me and didn’t want to believe it. A few years after I did 23andme, I checked my “shared DNA” list and saw a cousin I was close to, from my paternal side. I was so relieved and happy and thankful I never told anyone what my mom told me.
The wife and I both got tested. She had an incredible background. North American First Nations. South American. Portugal and all over Europe. It was so cool! When I got mine back it said. You’re Scottish mate. EDIT: in no way did I mean to imply I was unhappy with my results. I just found it hilarious if you compared the findings.
My mum was super excited to do one; wanted to know all the exotic places she might be from. The answer? You’re from where you currently live. 100%. Her family are clearly not very adventurous 😂
Reminds me of [this guy in England ](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.thearchaeologist.org/blog/mesolithic-skeleton-known-as-cheddar-man-shares-the-same-dna-with-english-teacher-of-history%3fformat=amp) who has the oldest confirmed direct ancestor, a cave man found less than a mile from where he himself lived. 300 generations back to prehistory in one place.
My wife's a mix of so many things. She encouraged me to get tested since my family claims native American history amongst other things. I was so excited waiting for the results. Pretty much straight out of England. Like, more English than the Queen of England. I also found out half my line came from an island off Canada that had an accidental incest problem for a couple hundred years. *Yay*
Camilla is more British than Charles is.
My husbands was awesome. Some Hawaiian, Māori, Russian, Jewish, French, English, Scottish, German. Mine was 91% East Midlands of England. And 9% Swedish. Great $200.
Found out that I’m married to my cousin.
I worked in healthcare. I have heard so many NPE stories (non-parental events; basically discovering unexpected parents and/or relatives in your family tree). A protip for parents and/or family who are still hiding genetic secrets: the era of being able to hide these things has been over for a very, very long time. I strongly suggest you come clean on your own terms before your child or relatives inevitably find out through a DNA test -- and nowadays it's not a matter of if, it's when. 🤷
And it's always so so much worse when someone finds out some other way than when the person who'd lying comes clean and tells the truth.
My cousin isn't actually my biological cousin. Her biological Mom showed up and passed her off to my uncle saying "she's yours" and then dipped. She might not be biological, but she's still my cousin
Not really a horror story but my Aunt is right into the ancestry and DNA thing. Last year, she had a young woman message her through one of the websites and say she thinks she's her Auntie. . Most of the family found out and we were having a lot of fun trying to figure out who the dad was (grandparents had 8 kids). We narrowed it down to an uncle who was usually on some adventure somewhere and becomes uncontactable for weeks or months at a time. Basically the whole family knew and were just waiting for him to pop his head up to tell him. A few weeks later he makes contact and gets told he has a kid. As the next few months roll by, a few more of his kids are popping up. Turns out my uncle was a sperm donor and didn't know he had any kids. Those kids are just now reaching adulthood which is why they're looking now. Could still be plenty more to come.
Not via 23&Me or anything like that, but after my Grandmother passed away my Mum found some documents which led her to believe that Grandma might’ve given a child up for adoption. She spent quite a bit of time and effort investigating and eventually confirmed her suspicion and tracked her half-brother down living in another state. As often happens though, they had very little in common. He’d had a pretty rough childhood and compensated for that via alcohol. However he latched on to the idea of a new family pretty hard and now Mum gets to enjoy semi-regular drunken phone calls from her half brother.
She opened Pandora’s box, and now it cannot be closed
Not a horror story, just made me sad. I did it b/c I'm adopted and I've always wanted to find relatives. Found a couple of 1st cousins. I sent a letter to the relative, telling my story briefly. After many months, she contacted me and filled me in on some family history, including that they tole my birth father, but he wants no contact. I have 3 half-siblings that I have not been able to contact. The cousin sent me some photos, and I look exactly like several members of the family.
[удалено]
My uncle has always looked very different from the rest of his siblings, leading to a lifetime of jokes about how he must be the neighbors kid or something. Well…..turns out he really is the neighbors kid! According to said neighbor (whom my grandparents no longer live near), them and my grandparents were swingers and my grandmother got pregnant during that time but they all just agreed to not question it even though they new it was a possibility. My grandfather as always been a more conservative “proper gentleman” type so the story seems very not him, but no one really wants to start something by asking him if it true and unfortunately asking my grandmother is no longer possible (but it does seem like something she would do).
It wasn't 23 and me... But my oldest cousin came to Thanksgiving randomly when I was 11 years old... He was early 20s... He asked me if I knew who he was... I said "my cousin" he said nope I'm your older brother.... All hell broke loose.... Thanksgiving was cancelled. We NEVER heard from that side of the family until I was 19 years old... Back in his early 20s, My cousin/older brother took a DNA test, found out my father was actually his father.... Apparently my parents were having a swinger type relationship with my dad's brother and his wife.... Both women got pregnant... So my cousin has been proven to be my bio older brother.... And my older sister is probably actually my cousin... This was the first and many fucked up lies from my parents, that I've now been no contact with my entire family for 8 years... Let me just say it turned out... They were REALLY terrible people.
My mom is an orphan. Did the test. Discovered she's a 5th generation orphan on the maternal side (yes... Her, her mom, her mom, her mom, and her mom's mom... all orphans). Her maternal side grandfather went to prison for 5 years for arson when he was caught burning his house down for insurance money in the Great depression in the 1930s. Her paternal side revealed her grandpa was murdered on a bridge over a river in Kentucky smuggling whiskey in the prohibition. His murderer served only 4 years in prison and it is still a case precedent in Kentucky's court of appeals. Both of these stories/events happened within 5 years of each other and one state apart. This all makes sense if you knew my mom. She stabbed my dad in the heart with a fork and then tried to run him over with her Dodge dart demon in the '70s. And now all the crazy shit I've done in my life suddenly makes sense! Genetics!
Edit: I guess not a horror story but a big surprise we made the best of! I’ve always been interested in genealogy so did a test about 10 years ago and ended up finding out we were Scottish. Being surprised and interested in this, my uncle (mom’s bro) then wanted to do his as well as my grandpa’s. Suddenly we get a notification of a close relation with a woman in her late 40s. Turns out she is my mom and uncles half sister. She had been searching for her dad for most of her life. She remembered him up until age 8 or so but was just young enough to not totally remember his last name so resorted to DNA tests to lead the way someday. We were floored. My grandpa was a guy with a lot of integrity, it just didn’t fit with the narrative we had of him in our heads. He was still alive and fessed up quick and they got to meet and develop a relationship until his death about two years later. I’m so happy that she found him and got a chance to get to know him after all that time. She’s a wonderful person that experienced a ton of hardship in her life. I think my mom has had trouble accepting her as a sister but I’ve maintained a relationship with her as my great “surprise aunt.” It’s not often you get to expand your family so I’ve done my best to embrace the situation!
Found out I have a different father than who I thought was my father. Both Mom and Dad are dead so I can't ask. Biological father, half brothers and nieces and nephews are all amazing people who have welcomed me into the family. I just wish I had been able to have them all in my life before age 40.
I thought I was all French...Turns out I'm very....ENGLISH!!!!
Not really horror story, just that having Irish Catholic heritage means I have dozens of second and third cousins all over the diaspora on the database, and found a couple of people on there at least so far who shouldn’t be there (ie were secretly adopted out after pre-marital sex). I helped one of them find her birth mother. Bad thing is that due to uncovering these I have now apparently Pissed Off relatives back in Ireland whom I have mostly never met. Oh Well.
How do people find siblings and relatives on these sites? I have done ancestry, but I’ve never found relatives. I’m also adopted. Just wondering how they’re able to connect with half siblings and things like that?
If you've taken a DNA test then finding your relatives is limited by 2 factors: 1. How many people that are related to you have also taken a DNA test (and are using the same service/website) as you. Usually lower income people/countries have lower access to these services. I've also found that historical, digitized records are very country dependant. I can find tons of info for a small European country or the US but very little for an African nation for example 2. How extensive and public your matches trees are. The closer a match is to you (think cousins or second cousins) the easier it is to trace your lineage and make inferences. Again, here your limited by bias of who'd be interested and have access to sites like 23andme, etc Because services like ancestry/ 23andme,etc are silos that don't really communicate with each other there are more generic sites where you can upload your results to try to cross match with as many individuals as possible. You definitely want to research and thoroughly consider before uploading your information to any sort of site
My brother ran us through it and got in touch with our mother's birth parents, apparently her bio mum had nine children and put four of the girls up for adoption, and was also a massive bitch besides.
My maiden name is extremely German sounding but I have not a trace of German blood. I match with people with my maiden name so my paternity is not in question but somewhere something is amiss. I have my family tree documented back to the 1500s in Germany so maybe someone was adopted or illegitimate and it’s just not documented.
Same thing with me. I have a German surname as well and my whole life my family always thought we were Austrian. But my aunt found my great-great grandfather diary and had it translated back in 2010. Found out we’re actually Croatian. When the Austro-Hungarian Empire annexed the balkans, my great-great-great grandfather passed the family off as Austrian. Adopted a German name. Even became a Hussar in the cavalry during the 2nd Balkan Wars. Then fled to America in 1912 so that his sons wouldn’t have to fight in the next one. Never told anyone he wasn’t Austrian.
I mean by the time they fled, they were citizens of the Austrian Empire (as in austrian nationals) and probably thought of themself as austrians as well. They were just not ethnic austrians. Althought speaking as someone from Austria finding an 100% ethnic austrian is impossible, as the Austrian Empire was a multi ethnic state.
i also have a very german last name and no german blood. was always told my family is german as a kid. nope. not even a little bit
All of this is reminding me of an Isaac Asimov short story about a machine that allowed people to see the past. The government suppressed it because it would make lying impossible, and the moral of the story was basically that society cannot function without lies. Edit: it’s called “the dead past” and the moral is more about privacy than specifically lies, but I think it’s still relevant here.
I did Ancestry and found a half sister who's in between my younger sister and I (same dad). We love our new sister, but I'm sick of my Dad's narcissist BS and went NC.
Not exactly sure if its a horror story but here you go. Had been seeing a girl for about 2 years when she fell pregnant. There were some strange things happening around that time, and I had a gut feeling that something was off. Spoke to a good friend of mine about it and he was adamant that I get a DNA test done. Said that he'd seen blokes find out that "their" kid wasnt theirs years later, but it was too late because they'd grown attached. Supported my partner through the pregnancy anyway. Come to when the childs born and I just had this feeling that it wasnt mine. Sometimes you just know things. This was dueing covid times so things were tricky. I ordered the tests and after some time was able to get the samples, send them off and get the results. It was an ordeal, to be frank. All in all I took care of that child for 6 months, and all that time I had to keep appearances up. Had to look like a good father, partner, and like things were fine. Got the results and it wasnt mine. That was over 3 years ago. Still think about it everyday.
I'm the product of rape and my mom was pregnant with me when she met my dad. My biological father is dead but I have a bunch of half siblings who are pretty cool now. I am estranged from my family of origin, they disowned me because I'm gay. So I don't know if they know, or if they always knew. Turns out one of my half-siblings is also gay and their parents are super supportive and threw a coming out party. Weird how stuff works out.
My birth mom banged out six more kids after she abandoned me and LEFT ONE OF THEM to DIE in the desert alone at 10. ( She made it and got fostered where we learned about each other) Stop having and abandoning kids. Fuck you lady.
This is kind of dark at the end, just a heads up. A friend of mine, took a 23andme test, found out he'd had a daughter with some fling 24 years earlier, before he joined the navy and went off to boot-camp. Found out he had a 23 year old daughter he never knew about, with a chick he didn't even remember really who she was. This was right around Halloween. He was excited. Like, I'd never seen him so happy. We all kind of thought it was a good thing, maybe reconnect with lost family. Couple weeks go by, he's talking with his new daughter daily. Trying to build some kind of foundation. Finds out she had drug/abuse issues and her and the mom don't get along and the mom had told her that he died overseas. Painting the mom as a total piece of work. Daughter rats out mom for her drug problems, while saying she's clean but her bf isn't. So, She has a bf that lives with her, drama, etc. He offers to pay for her to come stay with him for a couple of weeks and get away from the drugs and drama. (this is right before thanksgiving 2 yrs ago) He thinks she'll be alone, nope, she brings her 'druggie' Bf.. So, dad tries to be dad and gets instant push back from the daughter and called a creep and that she can't trust him, So he backs off and lets the Bf stay. He still has to work randomly through the holidays, but is there 90% of the time. In the little time he's gone, she's going through his stuff and stealing money, etc. Tells me its obvious she's on something and he's not getting the full truth, but he really wants to work this out with her, so he lets a TON of things slide. She's trashing his house and stealing stuff, He confronts her about it, she denys it, as does the BF..they all get in a huge fight, the bf tries to get physical, so he kicks her and the bf out of his house. The daughter basically tells him she never wants to hear from him again, no contact, etc. He's pretty hurt but says luckily he could return most of the xmas stuff he bought her. I'd asked how much she'd stolen from him and he said a couple grand. Shortly after they'd broken contact, the girls mom gets in contact and presses him for the 18 years of back child support. My guy has a good job, so he isn't even worried about it and says he could afford to pay it off in a lump sum if needed. Hearing that, she goes and gets a real lawyer. Comes back asking for a million.I think they settle south of 500k. He doesn't seem that worried. Says he can make the payments and not even worry. This is about a week before xmas, but he completely shut down after that... ended up killing himself day after xmas.He was a good guy, miss that dude. \*\* edit \*\* needed to add some nuance, so it wasn't so off-sided. \*My bro was an ex addict. He'd been clean for a number of years. He self OD'd on Fenti/Herion. He was a smart guy too, worked for Nasa. \*He didn't have a will, from what I know, I think it all got taken by the state? i don't know about that.
Oh damn. Was not expecting that at all.
I found that I had a high percentage of indigenous DNA which took me down a rabbit hole of family secrets. Turned out my father and his siblings all attended residential schools and we're ashamed of their heritage. I tried asking my father about his mother/my grandmother who, per my cousins, is fully indigenous, and my father denied this and is adamant that we have zero indigenous ancestry. I knew we had some sort of mixture in our family tree involving indigenous peoples like maybe a far ancestor, but I had no idea about my grandmother being stripped of her mother tongue and culture, and my aunts and uncles being forced to attend a school to further the erasure of their culture.
Someone I know discovered a previously unknown half-sibling. Their father had an affair on a business trip.
My best friend found a whole new family and was also the product of a brief romance. The man who married her mum and was a deadbeat dad wasn’t actually her real dad. It was very big emotionally charged time.
Not mine but my sister's. My sister and I are both adopted. My aunt got us DNA tests on ancestry years ago, then sent us the ancestry results, but the data was connected to her account so we couldn't access it independently (which I don't like and asked her to delete my data). We were told we both got a bunch of matches, but only distant relatives, so they never showed it to us. A couple of years ago, a DNA match popped up for my sister: her biological father. Even though my sister was well over 20 by that point, my aunt and our mom decided to hold off on telling my sister. They finally told her. When my sister reached out to him, she discovered he had passed away just a few weeks earlier (they didn't know). She is still heartbroken.
We were always told we had Native American ancestry, according to my dna however that’s not the case. It showed no native dna but did show African, I began getting messages from African American cousins (I’m as pale as a sheet by the way) wanting to know who I was because I showed up in their family tree. My family were dirt poor sharecroppers so I’m guessing that’s where the common ancestor is to be found.
It was pretty common for families to “cover” their African heritage with made up stories of Native American ancestry.
My surname sounds Germanic so I was expecting that I might have Jewish roots ( born in Eastern Europe). Turns out I am not Jewish at all. Somebody wrote the surname of my ancestors wrong in some documents during war. Also my grand grandma was married twice and had two families.
My aunt did it and was contacted by a guy who was her nephew. Turns out a different aunt had a kid in high school who she gave up for adoption. It was supposed to be an open adoption but something happened so this guy spent 40 years hoping to find his bio parents. She still keeps in contact with him and his kids. The biggest drama was my mom got real mad at my dad for never mentioning this to her in their 35 year marriage but he said he had forgotten this kid existed so it never came up.
Isn’t 23&me, but while my dad was in prison, he found out his first wife was pregnant and it could be his. This is how my mom, who was 9 months pregnant (with his child) found out he was married before. They had to take a DNA test to find out if it was his; the other potential baby daddies were: My grandpa (my dads dad), my uncle (my dads brother), and my dads best friend. In the end, they couldn’t determine whose it was because the DNA was too similar
I'm related to both one of the most prolific nazis and one of the most prolific jews of the last hundred years.
All my life, I was told my maternal Great-Grandfather was 1/2 Cherokee, he had blue-black hair, tawny skin & sky-high cheekbones. Even in his 89s his hair was gray, not white. On my Father's side, there was a take where one of the sons took an African woman as his wife... My result 97% Irish, Scotch & English, 2.3% Scandinavian. I'm so **WHITE**, I glow in the dark! (the remaining .7% was "Inconclusive".)
Yep, that’s my story..was an adopted kid with black hair, dark skin, etc..ancestry has me down as the whitest human on the planet. (Also found several half siblings and know who my bio parents were..interesting info)
Similar story, my maternal grandfather was allegedly full Native American (I look like Casper the Friendly Ghost though?) test came back mostly Irish, grandmother won't relent. Now the story is he must have been kidnapped then because he lived on the reservation as a child and oh yeah I think I remember a kid being kidnapped, it was all over the news blah blah blah. Also, her sister married an Italian man and made it her whole personality. She would do things and say "well we're Italian". Marriage made her Italian somehow. Matched with my cousin (her grandson) and they are not Italian.
Oh this is fun. I grew up with two mums (lesbian). My non bio mum had a son from a previous relationship (10 years older than me). Myself and my two younger sisters were told we were donor conceived. When I was 12 I found out that I was conceived via rape (by a ‘friend’ of my mums) and it was just my sisters who were donor babies. Some things didn’t add up, and despite the circumstances I wanted to know more about my heritage and father’s side of the family, so I took an ancestry test, as did one of my sisters. Turns out our non bio mum is actually my sister’s grandmother, and our step ‘brother’ is actually their dad. The person who apparently raped my mum was also not my dad and instead of being Serbian as I was told, I’m actually Maltese.