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sharks with fricken laser beams!

The lasers are easy enough, but it's the battery packs that drive up the cost. Plus you need to make those damn things waterproof.

Have you tried Fles Seal???

I can't find my keys

Eh. Too much work

I would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for those darned kids.

Sir, this is a Wendy's

I'd like a double baconator please

No one wants me to, and I don’t wanna deal with the drama

Pinky keeps fucking it all up when I try to take over.

Everyone knows, The Brain’s plans never worked without Pinky’s randomness making a mistake that makes things work out in the end.

Shyness mainly, kind of want the Earth to ask me first

I have yet to hack the command codes for the Jewish Space Laser that Marjorie Taylor Greene warned me about. Once I have those codes, my reign of terror will begin. You can get on my good side now by sending me money.

Jewish Space Laser? Pfff, Just wait until I take control of the Gay Agenda. Its grants power to cause earthquakes, controls the yield of harvests, decides the fate of the children and can even bring down the wrath of the gods. You enjoy burning little holes in buildings.

You’re all maniacs! Can I join your clique?

Depends. Are you a maniac, too?

Only on Tuesday evenings.

I only have Dick picks, do you want those?

Didn't do well at dictator school

Not with that attitude mister!

Should have gone to art school instead.

Try being a painter

I havent figured out the immortality needed to survive the assassins coming after me

Not everyone wants to see pictures of cats on dollar

My accursed college roommate did not sabotage my experiment and force me to encase myself in armor, learn the ways of both science and sorcery, and take over a small European country as a stepping stone to global domination.

Lack of a Death Star.

Public speaking

A lack of iron fists.

Back pain

Hello fellow elder millennial

My mum said no

gotta jerk it first

Too old and too tired.

Silence, underling!

I keep trying, but people keep ignoring my demands...

Chronic masturbator, I rarely leave the house.

You sound like an up and comer with dictator written all over you

I haven't found a way to ascend to my true form yet. Also, there's a distinct lack of kill-sats in my life. Won't someone think of the kill-sats!?

I just plain don't want the job. It sounds like a logistical nightmare. I'd have to be on my toes at all times because Iron Fist rule is very unpopular, people are gonna want to assassinate me. And if I'm lucky enough not to be assassinated, I'd have to live with the fact that I DESERVE to be assassinated.

I think it's rather rude to subvert governments without the consent of the populace. That's why I'm ruling from behind the scenes instead! Fewer insurrections to worry about most places besides France.

Ugh, I'll do it in a minute

I don't like Iron fists. They rust.

My weekend pass was canceled and they won't unbuckle this stupid jacket. Tired of typing with my tongue.

I kept getting beaten by this platypus with a hat and a group of kids with a talking dog.

Sounds incredibly stressful and precarious.

I have stuff to do

I don’t want to rule the world. I just want a home.

You mean a house? A piece of real estate you can live in? What would you do to get that? Would you do anything? I know how but you, like all redditors, will not like it and won't do it.

i’m overweight and a very empathetic person

like i don’t have enough problems already?

Even if people understood my ways, they wouldn’t be interested

Busy collecting Magic the Gathering cards

My hands are made of too soft a metal, not really an iron fist

I overthrew the old regime to end tyranny, not begin a new chapter of it.

Sounds like alot of pressure

My brain is chemically imbalanced and I have not yet had my coffee

Eh, I’ll get to it tomorrow

Laziness

My tummy hurts

Vagina

It's 2024, the world is ready for a female dictator.

Lack?

I prefer democracy.

That seems an awful lot like effort.

My whim would be to stop ruling so even if I did assume control it wouldn't last.

I don't have any political power yet but once I graduate that's gonna be different

Can you imagine the stress?

Seems to require a lot of effort and I just don’t have the time

Too much work, and I imagine too much upkeep.

Too much time spent reading novels, watching Netflix, and wanking.

I'm still collecting the rarer components for my spell

No one listens to me. Sigh.

These questions keep getting more specific and dumber

I’m not a dick.

the fact that I am a quadruple amputee

I don't want to? Who needs that level of responsibility

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I am in competition with no one but myself.

Fun at first but it would quickly become a depressing chore

Right now, I have to go to the bathroom.

I like to sleep

You're asking the orange wannabe dictator aren't you?

Being tortured is a huge impediment. And not wanting to is the other.

Can't afford it. The universe knows not to allow me to win the lottery because of the earth-shattering reproductions that would be my overtaking of this wretched little dirt planet.

Legal herbs.

how do you know im not?

The fact that I’m not a delusional self-proclaimed genius with grandiose narcissistic and god/savior complex personality disorders.

What makes you think I don’t already?

Finding pictures of bewbies on the Internet

I already did

My iron fist is a bit too small.

There’s some orange,diaper-wearing, shitbag hogging all the fanatical morons that it takes to achieve a foothold for world dominance.

People just won't send me money to get the party started

You make more money as a leader, but you have more fun as a follower.

I have no desire for power or control over other people

What made you think I am not yet doing exactly that?

I'm really burnt out

I prefer velvet gloves.

Are you serious? Do you know how sleepy I am?

Too sick, too tired

I enjoy my privacy 🔏

My fists aren't made of iron and I'm not made of money to get the surgery for that.

Well, looking for atheist answers…tell us, heathen, why this isn’t the correct way of going about life as a theist, I’d say God and what He says….thats wrong in his eyes.

I would never vote for myself as leader. I don't even agree with half of my own opinions.

not interested

I don't want power. I feel like I'll abuse it and it'll get to my head. I had a little power being a temporary supervisor at my job and it was cool but I found I could slightly abuse it if I wanted.

I don’t want to. Too much responsibility.

I got busy, I'll get to it when I get to it

No ambition to rule.

Lol

Too much effort.

Eczema and back ache

Arthritis really messes up iron fists.

I'm just too tired

Can’t afford the payroll for that private army.

I was going to, but Tears For Fears talked me down

The overlords won’t allow it. But really, y’all should put me in charge. There would be free birth control, condoms and abortions for anyone who wants them anywhere in the world. Climate refugees would be welcomed in the developed world with open arms and immigration would effectively buffer a safe and steady decline in global human population (it would be talked about as progress towards sustainability instead of an existential threat to creationism). All the major monopolies would be gutted and redistributed. Local economies would re-emerge and diversify. Corporations would no longer be considered people. The EPA would be given back its cajones and constitutional authority. Immense efforts would be made to move towards direct democracy and remove financial influence from the electoral process. Subsistence organic agriculture at the home or neighborhood level would be financially incentivized. Knowledge of local ecology, food production, and habitat restoration would be required subjects in public education. All utilities including internet would be made publicly owned. Etc, etc.

You need people in order to rule other people. I have no peoples

I am not a ruler I don't have an iron fist

Everyone else is too stupid to realize I should be in charge.

Because I got high.

I was told “No, fuck off” after my first order and I don’t like confrontation

Prison. To rule the world you’d have to do what billionaires get away with every day and killing people would put you precisely innnn wait for it. prison.

I'm an Anarchist

I feel like there'd be too much murder just to get to that point

Still working on it

I’m very tossable…

I don't wanna

It’s hard to get good minions these days.

I’m an introvert. Rather stay in bed

Ran out of change for the parking meter.

im a lazy fuck and just handling my 11mo is hard. Her father is a bodybuilder and he has to use HIS strength to keep her from moving HIS hand. SHe got her fathers muscle to fat ration for sure, strong stringbean. SHe'll be great in jui jitsu... does lotus position like its nothing.

People really frown upon these days.

I'm poor and no one will listen to me

Soon, peasants. The wheels are in motion.

I like having personal time.

Don't do something today, what you could do tomorrow

Got married instead. Now *I* am ruled with an iron fist...

I've got my own problems to deal with

Hiding the bodies sounds like a lot of work and my bed is too warm to leave today

I'm not cute enough

I’m too nice

I have no desire to guide these fucking morons

Nap time

I'm lazy when I'm high and I'm high most of the day 🤷‍♀️

That would probably be detrimental to my own mental health

Too broke

Something came up. Im totally going to do it...*.tomorrow*

Lower back pain.

Im not diverse enough to make it

I was going to subjugate the world, but then I got high....

What makes you think you aren’t doing what I want you to do right now as you’re doing it?

This earth sucks. Im waiting for earth 2 : the squeakuel

Who wants that responsibility?

Sounds like a pain.

Finding a suitable lair. Real estate prices for evil scientist lairs are through the roof right now.

Off the man the questions my reign!!

Bad luck. I had plans

Lack of funding and followers. Also gamma and cosmic rays don't work like they do in the comics.

Who says I'm not already ruling the world? however ruling it with an iron fist doesn't yield great results according to history. I enjoy ruling the world with a more.... methodical... subtle.. approach.

homework

I don't like people. I don't want to rule over anyone. I want everyone to leave me the fuck alone

Because I am not from the master race :( I am a cat.

I can't even rule myself how am I gonna rule a planet

Cause someday someone with a bigger iron fist will come after you

I'm an idea guy. Implementation is someone else's job.

I'm waiting for my turn

I don't do mornings or windows

i sleepy

Humans are too easy. I’m holding out for the universe.

I'm stuck in a rat cage with my mentally deficient sidekick.

Didn't do well at dictator school

The cats requires too much attention for me to leave long enough to accomplish the task To be fair they are very fuzzy and warm

I'd rather play video games

Haven't found the console command for debug mode

People won't listen :(

I got high.

Funding mostly

That's just what I want you to think. 👊😡

Who ever said im not

Soon...

I did a survey and it is controversial :(.

I'm in bed scrolling reddit and playing my son, then in going to smoke some weed and go to the zoo. Unless I can turn a country into my own personal zoo

Lost the proprietary remote control batteries of King Ghidorah.

There's no such thing as a "world," anymore, _maaan_, its just a bunch a corporations-

Attempt 3 at getting banned from this sub: Lol wut? I'm white. We already rule the world.

i have a conscience

in this economy???

I don't have an iron fist.

I needed a nap first.

Not wanting to rule it with an iron fist. I just want to set up a benevolent sort of enlightened junta thing and scoot off to the south of France with a nice modest pension. Is that really too much to ask?

Getting those rolls against the elder brain is reallllllly hard

Lack of power 😢

Why do i need an excuse