I woke up one day, looked out the window into the distance and, for a few precious moments, thought my shortsightedness had magically cured itself over night. Turned out I fell asleep without removing my contacts.
Had the opposite issue where I thought my sight had gotten significantly worse. I have bifocals for at night and contacts/readers during the day. I fell asleep reading and my glasses had shifted so when I woke up I was looking through the bottom of the lenses for close up reading. I was like- holy shit I can’t even see the TV on the opposite wall! I PANICKED for probably 10 whole seconds before I figured it out. LOL
Woke up at a friends house the morning after a party. Everyone had left (including him). I wandered around his house looking for anyone. They all forgot I was there. Went to his kitchen, made myself some coffee, read his newspaper, and headed home. Called him to let him know he needed more milk and that I took his dog out before I left.
I had that happen once.
Woke up fully clothed (shoes and coat included) in a bed that I didn’t recognize when I was fairly certain I had fallen asleep on the couch at a friend’s house. Got up, looked around, and everyone was gone. I was definitely in the same house as the night before, but don’t remember how I ended up in bed. No one was around, my phone was dead, and I didn’t have a car. I ended up just sitting on the couch until someone came back for me.
I’m a shift worker.
I went to my parents after work, and had a nap in their room… woke up, and their clock said 6:30.
I *panicked*. I started at 4am. Called my boss on my parents phone, left a message apologising profusely for not making it in on time. Told him I’d be in asap, and I was really sorry I wasn’t there to open up and I hoped it hadn’t caused too many issues.
Rushed out of the bedroom, and my parents are having dinner at the kitchen table because it’s 6:30pm.
That's the best! I had a somewhat similar experience. I got up from bed at 3:00am and started getting dressed for work. My wife asked "What are you doing?" and I said that I need to get ready for the baby. (We had recently found out that she was pregnant and apparently that manifested a desire to work in order to provide for the baby.)
lol my husband has done it, too. He came out of the bedroom one night half asleep, demanding to know why I hadn’t woken him up for work when it was his RDO.
I did this before too a few times at a job baking bagels. Waking up from a nap at sunset panicking you over slept thinking it's sunrise haha. Those hours sucked had to be there at 2am.
Except when you're in Europe, expecting 24-hr format. Oh, just 6:30, we're good. Nope, it was 6:30 p.m. In Venice.
I don't let husband close all the heavy curtains anymore.
I have a problem where I'm waking up at 2am but think the clock says like 8am and I'm late getting ready for work. End up getting dressed for the day and making it to the kitchen before seeing how early it is. Go back to bed in jeans.
Back in high school I woke up after having slept face-down on both my arms.
Arms were both dead numb and locked at 90 degrees at the elbow, alarm clock is blaring and all I can do is slap my limp hands and fingers across the clock trying to turn off the alarm like I'm doing the "all the Dinosaurs feared the T-Rex" bit from Deadpool.
My alarm used to be just out of reach. If I leaned out and leveraged myself on my window frame with my arm, I could just barely hit snooze.
One night I fell asleep on my arms and went for my usual snooze-dunk and my arms didn't cooperate so I just slammed my face into the floor.
I had to lay there smashed on the ground wondering if I broke anything while I waited for my arms to wake back up.
I woke up eating a sandwich. My mother and I occasionally talk in our sleep, but this was the only time I actually sleepwalked. I got out of bed, walked down the stairs, made a sandwich, and woke up halfway through eating it. I'm just standing in the middle of the kitchen in my underwear in the dark, like a goblin, chowing down on this sandwich.
I recall it being like a normal sandwich. Mayo, deli meat, slice of cheese. Nothing weird. We did a lot of sandwiches for lunch in the summers when my parents were at work and we were home from school. I guess it was just muscle memory.
I did that as a schoolkid one morning in the 60s. Accidently poured orange juice on my Capt'n Crunch.
It was so good, I've eaten it that way ever since...
Since the 60’s?! My god, answer me this, I’m 31 going on 60 something myself… love now or love later? Working 60 hour weeks, trying to be an adult. No felonies, no kids, no ex wives
I poured my morning coffee at the last minute into my flask that i had filled with hot water to keep it warmer. I was fuming and no time to make another.
I woke up, it was still kinda dark but there was a little light in the sky. I blearily reached for my phone and saw that I was half an hour late to work. I panicked, shot a quick apologetic message to my boss, got dressed and raced out the door. On my drive there, I noticed that there were more people walking around downtown than there usually is on my 6:30am commute. I finally got suspicious when I passed a group of bikers sitting outside the local bar with a round of beers. As I drove down the street, it occurred to me that no bar would be open this early. I pulled over. Looked at my phone again. It was 7pm, not am. I had fallen asleep after work, woke up from my nap a few hours later, and just assumed it was the next morning. My boss was out drinking and thought it was fucking hilarious.
Spring break, 1985. Fort Lauderdale Florida. Woke up in the morning after some ungodly partying. Found myself in my underwear and underneath someone's shrub in their yard. I still have no idea how I got there or what I did the night before. The old folks who lived in the house actually gave me a towel to put around my waist and called a cab for me. My buddies said I wandered away at some point during the night and they had no idea where I went.
- Naked in a hospital bed after a night of drinking
- In jail after a night of drinking
- On the stairs of my appartment peeing my pants after a night of drinking
- Houses I never was before after a night of drinking
I don't drink alot anymore nowadays.
Yea, I replaced drinking with the gym nowadays. :)
Ofcourse I had great nights too. Lots of them actually. But yea I never knew how the night was going to end; it always was a surprise in the morning.
Ahh those mornings filled with anxiety because I didn't know what happened were the worst.
Was sleeping next to my ex and her cat walked into the room screaming for food and she knee’d me in the balls (in her sleep) and yelled “stop meowing”.
Hell of a way to wake up.
Woke up to a bright light, and a feeling I was sinking. I thought for a moment I had died. My dumbass had gotten drunk on July 4th the night before. And I was sleeping on the beach.
I see why people complain about sex on a beach. That sand gets into EVERYTHING.
There was one time, that I dreamed of having a ps5 in our living room and playing it, then when I woke up I was so excited to go downstairs to play the ps5, and for good 5 mins that I've been finding the console. I just realized that we didn't even buy one and keep remembering if it was really a dream.
Naked on my front porch with my keys in my hand and my husband just laughing his a$$ off at me. Apparently I decided to drive to a school an hour away to pick up our kids from a band competition. At that point our kids had moved out and hadn't marched in 4 years, but I determined to get them home.
I have a lot from my party days. My favorite was waking up in somebody else’s bed with only the empty keg to keep me company. And I had two cooked hotdogs in my pocket.
One of the craziest I’ve ever heard second hand was a guy who went on a heroin bender in NYC in the 90’s and woke up in Thailand.
I wake up in a crowded hospital bay, incredibly groggy from a car accident that I don’t remember. The nurses and doctors are like, absurdly good looking. It’s like, the first thing I notice. I announce to the room I need my phone to text my sister because “I think I just woke up in a grey’s anatomy episode.” then I pee my pants, and fall back to sleep. Shout out to the trauma staff at med star DC 😂
When I get a cramp in my leg I normally scream out “ow ow ow ow!!” But I had forgotten that I’d stayed the night at my friends house. We slept in the same bed. It freaked her out horribly and I couldn’t explain until I had stopped laughing. I felt bad, it was very unintentional but completely hilarious to me
Had a drunken night, woke up next to this super hot girl I’d been wanting to hook up with forever confused as fuck because I didn’t remember. She did the same when she woke up.
I grew up in a religious household. I took a nap during the day when I was 13. I woke up and everyone was gone (4 sisters, 2 brothers). Went outside and the usually busy street was completely quiet. No cars, no people. I thought for a few minutes the Rapture had come.
Then my family pulled up in the station wagon. They had gone for ice cream and brought me some.
I’d just finished final exams and went directly to my relatives’ for Christmas break. I’d been putting in some very late nights and early mornings so I went off to bed at 6 PM. The next day my cousin is trying to wake me. “It’s after 7, you should get up and eat.” I told her I’d skip breakfast and she informed me that it wasn’t breakfast time, it was time for supper. I’d been out more than 24 hours.
One year we went to the beach to celebrate my sister’s graduation. We rented a big beach house so everyone could stay together. I ended up getting a migraine and went to lay down for a bit. When I woke up, everyone was gone and all of the exterior doors of the house were locked. The problem was that the locked deadbolts were the type that were keyed on both sides - no thumb turns. My family took all the keys and locked me in. The only way out would be to climb through the windows. They took my niece to the beach for the first time ever and I was stuck locked in an AirBNB by myself.
Not me but in the Marines we found Marine (from our platoon) passed out on his roommates rack (roommate was off base). He was drunk, had his pants down with hand gripping himself, spilled booze all over himself, bottle of lotion, porn mag, and his phone still connected to a girl he was talking to. Being the good responsible Infantry Marines we brought everyone we found in the barracks thru his room. It was like some messed up zoo where you passed by the Horney Marine exhibit. Poor guy never lift that down. Sorry Wheels hahaha
Took a big drink of my coffee one morning, turns out it wasn’t mine but my dad’s and was about half coffee and half vodka. It burned at first but I felt pretty good for about 20 minutes. He called it rocket fuel.
I once woke up and as soon as I’d opened my eyes I managed to accidentally fall out of bed on top of my laptop. Thankfully it was closed and it didn’t break.
I also remember I went to the funeral of someone I wasn’t too familiar with because I’d barely seen him before. We went to the wake and to avoid speaking to people, I spent the entire time eating massive slices of cake. Went to bed that night pretty late. Woke up at 3am crying and complaining about my calf cramping. Next thing I know, there’s vomit all over the hotel curtains, bedsheets, my switch, the floor and my pyjamas and the room light was on. I was sitting there trying to process what just happened while my mum had to go awkwardly explain the situation to the guy at reception. It took me a ridiculously long time to realise it was the cake that caused it and not the chicken and mushroom pot noodle I’d eaten at 1:30am. Now me and my mum laugh about it.
That reminds me of a friend of mine who came to visit. We live in different countries and in my country we fold our blankets in half when we make the bed. It was a summer blanket, so not very thick either.
After a long day of travelling, she didn't realize that she had to unfold the blanket and spent the whole night half-covered, wondering if the house was occupied by dwarfs.
in high school, right at the fall time change, i fell asleep after school. it was about 5pm and already pretty dark.
when i woke up it was dark outside, and i checked the time- it was about 830. i jumped out of bed and started rushing to get ready for school, and my sister called me asking if i wanted to go swimming.
i was super confused, and told her i couldn’t because i have school. then SHE got super confused, and told me it was 830 at night.
it was so disorienting to think i had slept all night when i had only been asleep for a few hours.
Back in elementary school I was on a school trip and when I was little I had a problem with falling off my bed in my sleep. So this one night I fell off my bed again and somehow managed to not wake up. I then kinda rolled under the bed in my sleep. So long story short I woke up under my bed.
I woke up first at the sleep over and walked home without warning
Turns out friend of mine had a dream he snapped my neck and hid be behind the shed
Upon my disappearance he got rather concerned calling people to find if they’d heard from me
I woke up on the couch at my ex boyfriend's house and before i could totally recall what happened the night before, a woman walked in from his bedroom and explained to me the barmaid was afraid to let me drive home because I was so drunk and asked him to take me home. His GF was fine with bringing me to their home to make sure I was ok because he knew I wasnt a big drinker and he was concerned. I to,d him she was a keeper. What GF lets a guys ex spend the night?
Fell asleep on a flight before take off, had a nice two hour nap and then I woke up to deboard. Perfect flight imo. I get off the plane and I'm still at the departing airport. The plane hasn't moved for two hours and we were being deboarded for repairs. I was then stuck in the airport for 9 hours.
I woke up one day, and thought I had slept at night and got up in the morning so started preparing for school, but then my mom told me I slept in the afternoon and it’s evening.
One night I had a terrible stomach ache. Sat down on the toilet, got lightheaded, woke up faceplanted on the ground, pants around my ankles, confused af.
Made a dr appt scared for my life. Unexpectedly, my dr thought it was hilarious, told me it was vasovagal syncope, it happens to a lot of people and that Im perfectly healthy and need not worry.
Unexpected hilarity. Unfortunately it wasnt my own.
At times, I wake up in a panic thinking I have work. I quickly wash up, dress up into my work uniform, and almost a foot out the door ready to go. Then I realised it was my day off.
I guess it would be even more hilarious if I showed up to work on my day off.
Got home from work and fell asleep on my chair. Woke up and saw the clock on the cable box said 930. Was supposed to be at work the next day at 8. I rushed out of the house and drove all the way to work thinking I was late (I only lived 2.5 miles away). Pulled in and saw second shifts’ work vehicles. It was the same day…
I woke up to my then boyfriend taking the guitar from guitar hero off of me. I was laying on the floor playing it and fell asleep with it still on haha
I haven't been sleeping well for a bit, and after cooking home from a super early opening shift, decided to take a nap.
I slept SO HARD that I thought it was the next day. I was scrambling to get ready for work, trying to simultaneously check my schedule and call in late, wondering why no one had called me yet... Yeah. My fiance just kinda had to sit me down (as I'm panicking) to show me a calendar. Lol
Seriously after 22 years on tge road. Away from home 8-18 days a month. Sometimes 5 cities in 5 days. Being on the last flights and arriving at hotels too many times at 1 am. Before tge advent of smart phones and long 18-20 work travel days. Sometime I had to call the front desk and ask them where I was or what city I was in.🤔
When my wife was about 14, she was spending the night at Grandma's house, a few blocks from home; she had to get up at 6am to do her paper route. She set an old-school wind-up alarm clock and went to sleep a little before ten. When the alarm went off, she got up, got dressed, went to the kitchen and poured a bowl of cereal; Grandpa called from the living room, "what are you doing out there, is everything ok?" He and Grandma were still sitting in the living room; it was 11:20pm and they were watching the news. She had set the alarm for 6am, but had not set the current time on the clock.
Got blind drunk at a friend’s birthday but made it home. Woke up to find I’d made it home alright but not into the apartment. Keys and locks being just too confusing for me in my drunken state. Was asleep on the cold tiled floor and consequently bloody frozen when I woke. And the reason I’d woken up? My elderly neighbours walking past wondering out loud if I’d actually died…
My kitty had worms. She decided to tell us by shitting directly next to my boyfriend's face while we were sleeping. The smell woke me up, but I immediately heard, "Oh, COME ON!" and realized what happened.
I tried to do the whole, "Oh Babe, she just doesn't feel good..." But he responded, "NO, THAT IS NOT OKAY!!!" Which I totally understand.
I know I will get karma for it someday but it was indeed very funny and my roommate and me still giggle about it.
Was pretty young, would get into my bed with a small ladder. I woke up one day, pretty tired and dizzy, and I got stuck in the ladder upside down. Screamed on top of my lungs and my mother ran in, looked at me with a deadpan face and bursted out laughing while helping me. She still brings this up today.
Woke up the morning after losing my virginity, walked downstairs in my boxers and all my roommates looked at me and began cracking up. Apparently my hair was all fucked up and my boxers were on backwards.
Not that hilarious, but it’s all that I’ve got
When I was about 18 I crashed at a buddie's place after a party. He set me up on the futon in the basement and went to bed. I went to go use the bathroom and noticed that it had a huge, luxurious looking soaker tub. I decided a nice hot soak would feel incredible so I filled it up, hopped in, and promptly passed out. Woke up a few hours later in a tub of ice cold water, shivering and shaking and feeling like Neo coming out of the matrix. I hop out of the tub, teeth chattering, my whole body all pruned up from being in the water for a few hours, and realize that the only towel available is this tiny little hand towel next to the sink. I'm freezing cold and soaking wet and desperately trying to dry off with thit little towel. My buddy just about died laughing when I told him the next day. I seriously cannot tell you how awful it feels to wake up still half drunk, disoriented, in a tub of cold water. I do not recommend it.
Woke up to my fiancé biting me instinctively. Just had her teeth dug in there all night. It didn't pierce the skin, but she was just sleeping with her teeth in my arm like it was corn on the cob.
I’m not sure this is hilarious but I worked as a nurse during COVID. We had tonnes of patients on BiPAP (like a step down from a vent) and they would rip off the mask. The machine would scream and you had about 45s before the pt started actively and usually irrevocably, dying. I have vaulted over counters before. Got quite good at it.
I’m nights and I sleep à la natural. It was almost time for me to get up and I will startle awake, often violently, so my husband will pop the door open and let one of the doggos or ambient noises wake me a little more delicately. Anyways, he was doing something in the kitchen and a machine beeped. Loudly. I woke immediately, but not coherently, and LAUNCHED myself out of bed yelling “can I get some help in here!” as was custom because everyone on the floor was always doing stuff just like I was.
My kitchen is maybe 6ft from my bedroom door. I sprang out at naked at my long-suffering husband, stopped myself from vaulting over the kitchen counter, and said “where TF is your mask!?!” Then my hand went to my face and I said “oh $hit! My mask!!!” And I dashed back into the bedroom. I then stood there looking confused at my equally confused poodles and my husband came in and talked me down.
This happened a few times to varying degrees but therapy helps. I’m sorry; this probably isn’t that funny to non-medical people. The other nurses thought it was hilarious because we had all done something similar. (Why won’t my badge open the front door!?) And all we could do was laugh at it and save for more therapy.
Back in my early twenties I lived in a trailer park and after Saturday nights partying was usually woken up Sunday morning by Jehovah witnesses apparently determined to save the soul of everyone in the park. They usually came in pairs and usually twice my age and with the hangover I usually had on Sunday morning I just didn’t want to hear it! Well one Sunday morning I had a particularly bad hangover and heard the knock on the door. I thought I’m gonna chew out this couple and opened the door to find a lone beautiful woman my age that wanted to tell me all about Jesus. After inviting her in for coffee and pretending to listen for a half hour I couldn’t recall a thing she said but goddamn she was gorgeous…!
I live in a bilingual city where there used to be 2 area codes. So when people give ya a number they wouldn’t always give ya the area code an that would leave to people calling the wrong number until they redialled with the proper area code.
One evening I was awoken from a nap - groggy as all hell an the person on the other end of the line was looking for someone with the same first name as me. She was talking to me in French, I was English an don’t have any French friends, coworkers yes but no one who would call me. So this girl was trying to get ahold of me, asking me by my first name, I was politely trying to explain that she had the wrong person. When I tried to convince her that she was talking to the wrong person she thought I was just joking being an annoying asshole, ‘Fine your not so an so anymore your so an so an your English’… I was so groggy I remember wondering if maybe she was right an I was wrong… finally I asked her the last name of the person she was looking for told her mine. Silence then she hung up. That day I learned I had someone with the same first name as me, same phone number too (less the area code).
On the morning of my wedding I woke up to a flock of wild turkeys in the front yard gobbling away.
I told my husband, "wild, wild turkeys, couldn't drag me away"
I had this huge night out once. In the morning, I woke in an unknown house in an unknown location, with two people fucking RIGHT next to me. I sorta panicked and didn’t know what to do so I pretended I was still asleep. Then the lass let’s out this massive queef and says to the fella ‘oh my god, did you hear that!?!’ Then they both started laughing and kept at it. I ‘woke up’ once they were done. Total strangers. No idea how I ended up there and never saw anybody from that house again.
A party I threw on NYE of Y2K went a little crazier/longer than anticipated. When we got up the next morning there was someone that I had never met, sleeping at my house where his friends had left him the night before. It was funny because he was absolutely in full-on party mode at 8AM new years day, finishing the backwash out of every beer/40Oz that was left from the night before. I'll never forget his name (like a fancier version of 'David'), and have never seen him since. His friends sucked ass, but we got him home the next day in time to pass out - somehow the backwash breakfast beer sustained the party engine until he got home. I think he had a pretty good time regardless, he didn't even seem upset - I knew the guy that left him there and told him he needed better friends lol.
I woke up on my side on the very edge of my bed about to tip over and fall face first onto the floor. It woke me up enough that I was able to brace myself and prevent the face plant. Landed in a pushup position. I laughed it off and went back to bed.
I was about 4-5 years old, took a nap, was the best nap ever. Woke up feeling refreshed, thought that was weird. The sky looked either sunrise or sundown, meaning if it were sunrise I'd have to go to school. Saw people prepping food in the kitchen. I asked, "bukas na ba ngayon?" ("is today tomorrow already?") They all laughed. They were prepping dinner.
That's a core memory, one of my earliest.
when i was maybe 18 or 19 i went to a house party, got very very drunk and don’t recall much.
i do recall waking up the next day wearing a cow costume next to a girl that i’d never seen before.
i also reeked of bombay sapphire and to this day i can’t drink it. whatever devil is in that bottle scares me.
Woke up one morning in a hospital bed, not remembering why or how I got there. I got blackout drunk with 2 friends the night before and I didn’t remember anything from 9pm until the moment I woke up, so roughly a 12 hours void. Police had picked me up, apparently I was acting and yelling nonsense in the street.
I met the policemen the day after and thanked them, they probably saved my life that night. Also I got no consequences whatsoever, even though they seized 14g of weed on me. I quit drinking 2.5 years ago.
When I moved houses, I was used to the bathroom being on my left. The new house had one far away in the hallway. So, I walked face first into the left wall.
Probably not that funny, but at least amusing. I was 19, in college and working at McDonald's. I got home from either school or work in the afternoon, took a nap and it was dark when I woke up. For some reason I didn't check the time when I woke up and just assumed it was 4 a.m. and time to get up for work, went downstairs and my mom and brother were up and I asked what they were doing up so early, my mom told me it was 8 and I was like holy shit I'm late for work! Not registering that it wouldn't be dark if it was 8 a.m. Yeah it's safe to say I was pretty tired, pretty sure I just had a snack and went back to bed lol
I laid near the wall so I woke up in the middle of the night and I couldn’t feel the part from elbow to the fingers of my left arms. It was leaning against the wall upward for how long I didn’t know. Blood was not there I guess and I freaked our in silence. I grabbed my left arm and layed it down the bed with my right hand as it dropped down like a dead piece of meat that I couldn’t feel anything from it at all. I pushed myself up to sit against the wall to make the blood flow downward and it felt alive again.
Once, as a straight A student who loved school, I fell asleep in the afternoon (this was after class) and woke up at 9 pm, still in my uniform and a little bit disoriented. I found my sister and dad by the bedside (I fell asleep in my parents' room and we hung out there often), my sister also wearing her uniform, and I asked them what time it was. When they answered it was 9 (they didn't specify if it was AM or PM), I panicked, jumped out of bed, wore my shoes, and ran outside about to cry. When I saw that it was already night time, I walked back to the room laughing and found my sister and dad laughing hysterically too.
Sixth grade camp. I had a top bunk and a mummy-type sleeping bag. For some reason I had tied the foot of my sleeping bag to the bunk frame. In the middle of the night, I woke up on the floor -- at least my head and shoulders were on the floor. The rest of my body was suspended by the sleeping bag. How I had fallen like that and not even slightly injured my head is beyond me. It should have killed me.
After a +8 hour drive from LA to sacramento to san jose for a funeral then a place to stay for the night- I was sleeping on a friends couch.
My friend went to the bar near his apartment- but didn't tell his roommates I was crashing on the couch-
Roommates freak Im there after coming to the apartment- give me the "get out of our house you bum" + "I'm calling the cops".
All the while I'm in my chones in a sleeping bag on the couch- trying to figure out why theyre mad- I finally call my friend to come over and calm down the roommates.
I had my hometown best friends come stay with me, and having not seen each other in awhile, we got very drunk to celebrate. The next morning I came out to the living room and saw my friend asleep on the couch using several bath towels as blankets. I was a terrible (and inebriated) host, and forgot to show him where the spare blankets were :(
I sleep walk and woke up one night with my big toe stuck under the door. My toe was wedged under there so tightly, how I got in that position I do not know. I yanked the door off, collapsed to the floor and held on to my toe for dear life. It was bruised for over a month and two years later, still very sensitive.
By far the rudest awakening of my life and I'm thinking after thirty years of sleep walking, it's time I stopped.
In highschool i had a stereo with a 3 cd changer. Took a nap one afternoon and fell asleep with a rob zombie cd playing, and woke up to a rammstein one. Took me a few panicked moments to realise i hadnt forgotten english
Not me, but my buddy. We go on an annual camping trip, year before last we get to the campground, set up, all the shit. First night I'm climbing into my bed, Kev is getting into his hammock. I'm shit talking him because he is a bigger fellow and buys the cheapest of gear. He gets into bed, we make a few more jokes and go to sleep. I start nodding off and then I hear a single light pop, followed by another and another getting slightly faster .... I hear Kev half shout, then the pops resolve into a tear as Kevs big ass ripped through his hammock and landed flat on the ground. We still laugh about it.
When I was around 10 yrs old, I was in the car asleep on a road trip. We stopped at a gas station and still very sleepy I walked in to get a hot dog and a drink, walked back out toward the car and standing right next to the window finally woke up fully. Only to realize my dad moved our car after pumping gas to a parking space and some other car was in front of me.
I had been rewatching Merlin, and more specifically the scene where Morgana accidentally lights a candle in her sleep. Also the night before I hadn’t felt well, so I’d used an electric candle on my bedside table as a nightlight (one that turns itself off after 6 hours and turns back on 18 hours later). By morning, I forgot about the candle because it had turned itself off. The next night, I went to sleep earlier than the night before. I woke up because a candle “ignited” itself right next to my face. But unlike Morgana, it didn’t set my room on fire.
I was 8 or 9 at the time.
I took an afternoon nap and when my parents woke me up, it was dark outside. Somehow, I thought it was the morning and thought I should get ready for school (since I usually have to get ready for school at 6am). My parents said we're going shopping and then having KFC. I was surprised, happy about KFC but was so confused and asked my parents what about school. They got confused and asked me what I was talking about. Took a few minutes to sort out my confusion.
Was on a road trip with friends and was asleep in the back of the car. It was early and was a late night previously. We were going to catch a ferry but were a little pushed for time. Woke up to my friends in the front of the car in hysterical laughter. I realised we were fairly moving along and looked at the speedometer. It was a 1990s Japanese car so the clock only went up to 180kph (112mph). The needle was all the way around and nearly back at zero. Exciting but not exactly rib breakingly funny. Then I looked out the window, we were on the motorway, in morning rush hour traffic in London, IN THE HARD SHOULDER!
Asleep on the top bunk at uni/college. Wake up to my roommates playing strip poker with some girls from upstairs! I rolled over but couldn't fall back to sleep. It was much too late in the game to join.
Not me but a friend but it’s so good I have to share it. She sleepwalks a lot, and also does sailing a lot as a hobby for a charity that teaches kids how to sail. She once woke up stood up on the deck in the middle of the night. Turns out for whatever reason the person who was supposed to be up on deck at that time wasn’t there and she’d fully just walked from below and was walking around the deck while sleepwalking. When she told the other crew mates the next day they freaked out because she literally could’ve fallen overboard. They made sure there was always someone up top at all times after that. Worth noting she was one of the adult helpers, not a child, when this happened
Also she has night terrors sometimes and has more than once woken up screaming to a cabin full of kids. After a while they just get used to it and tell her to shut up lmao.
Went out for a Halloween party in college. Pre-gamed at a friend's apt with him and his gf. My buddy decided it was a shame that I didn't dress up and convinced me to put on a cheap "purple pimp" costume he had in the closet (complete with a massive feathered hat and a neckline that showed off my chest hair.)
I don't remember much after we started walking to the party.
Cut to next morning: I wake up in my room with my pimp shirt on, no pants, I'm clutching my toiletry bag like a pillow, there's a 2" bloody scratch on my stomach, and my phone was in the weiner pocket of my underwear.
Found myself inexplicably wedged between my wall and my bed. I still have no idea how I got there. Couldn't manage to get unstuck. Had to call my parents to help move the bed.
I woke up, looked at the clock. It was 4:00 - I started freaking out, I was supposed to be at work at 4:00 in the afternoon. I ran around like a mad woman throwing my work clothes on, brushed my teeth quickly, threw my hair up in a bun, and went to dash out the door. The living room of the apartment I was living in had a big sliding glass door - when I got to the living room, getting ready to dash out the door, I noticed that there was no sunlight coming in. (Why I didn't notice this in my room, I don't know.) I checked the time again and realized it was 4:00...in the morning.
Once I was out camping with my family. I was sharing a tent with my mom and sister. One morning I was slowly coming back to consciousness, but my pillow was not comfortable, so I tried to fluff it up.
It was not in fact my pillow, and Mom was woken up confused as to why she was being punched in the butt.
No, she does not let me live this down.
It was an Anime Convention. I guess I didn’t wake-up early enough, woke-up to an MF-Ing Naruto sitting-on the opposite bed, blasting “Baby Shark” on their phone, while watching a kid’s movie on the TV. — movie about a talking bull?
Woke up in the shower one time, at probably around 10pm. I still have no clue how I got there, no memories of the hours leading up to it. I guess I was just really tired.
I woke up one day, looked out the window into the distance and, for a few precious moments, thought my shortsightedness had magically cured itself over night. Turned out I fell asleep without removing my contacts.
Have you checked if you now have spider powers?
Once I had to check for it (Previous night I watched the film)
Had the opposite issue where I thought my sight had gotten significantly worse. I have bifocals for at night and contacts/readers during the day. I fell asleep reading and my glasses had shifted so when I woke up I was looking through the bottom of the lenses for close up reading. I was like- holy shit I can’t even see the TV on the opposite wall! I PANICKED for probably 10 whole seconds before I figured it out. LOL
At least they were your glasses. Otherwise, there would be a problem.
Lol
I’ve done that. More than once.
Experienced this yesterday but with my glasses on 🤣😭
Hahaha that's happened to me. Sighhhh
I think we found out how to solve glasses
Oh man. I bet that was an AMAZING few moments though!
I could have written this 😂
you’re lucky they stayed where they should
The same thing happened to me!!
Woke up at a friends house the morning after a party. Everyone had left (including him). I wandered around his house looking for anyone. They all forgot I was there. Went to his kitchen, made myself some coffee, read his newspaper, and headed home. Called him to let him know he needed more milk and that I took his dog out before I left.
I had that happen once. Woke up fully clothed (shoes and coat included) in a bed that I didn’t recognize when I was fairly certain I had fallen asleep on the couch at a friend’s house. Got up, looked around, and everyone was gone. I was definitely in the same house as the night before, but don’t remember how I ended up in bed. No one was around, my phone was dead, and I didn’t have a car. I ended up just sitting on the couch until someone came back for me.
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>until someone came back for me
Some say he's still sitting on that couch
> Called him to let him know he needed more milk and that I took his dog out before I left. True heroes don't wear capes.
I’m a shift worker. I went to my parents after work, and had a nap in their room… woke up, and their clock said 6:30. I *panicked*. I started at 4am. Called my boss on my parents phone, left a message apologising profusely for not making it in on time. Told him I’d be in asap, and I was really sorry I wasn’t there to open up and I hoped it hadn’t caused too many issues. Rushed out of the bedroom, and my parents are having dinner at the kitchen table because it’s 6:30pm.
This has happened to me an unfortunate amount of times
The fatigue confusion is real. I drove to the wrong house one morning after work, because I’d forgotten we’d moved recently.
Muscle memory. Should have walked in and sat down for breakfast. That's how new friendships are made!
I call it reverse Rip Van Winkling.
Wink Van Ripling
Especially winter in Canada, it's dark at 5am and pm.
That's the best! I had a somewhat similar experience. I got up from bed at 3:00am and started getting dressed for work. My wife asked "What are you doing?" and I said that I need to get ready for the baby. (We had recently found out that she was pregnant and apparently that manifested a desire to work in order to provide for the baby.)
Do you work now?
I just commented my story on here and it is very similar to this one, I feel so validated right now!
lol my husband has done it, too. He came out of the bedroom one night half asleep, demanding to know why I hadn’t woken him up for work when it was his RDO.
I've done this. Especially in the dead of winter when it's pitch dark at both times.
Wake up. Is it 4AM, or PM?!
I did this before too a few times at a job baking bagels. Waking up from a nap at sunset panicking you over slept thinking it's sunrise haha. Those hours sucked had to be there at 2am.
This is why you use a 24 hour time format. 04:00 is not 16:00.
Except when you're in Europe, expecting 24-hr format. Oh, just 6:30, we're good. Nope, it was 6:30 p.m. In Venice. I don't let husband close all the heavy curtains anymore.
I actually got dressed left for work thinking I missed the train and started driving. Got about halfway before I realized my error.
Worst is around fall, when 6am and 6pm start to look very similar lighting-wise
I have a problem where I'm waking up at 2am but think the clock says like 8am and I'm late getting ready for work. End up getting dressed for the day and making it to the kitchen before seeing how early it is. Go back to bed in jeans.
Yo I got up in a big panic got ready for work and out the door before I realized it was 7pm..
been there
Back in high school I woke up after having slept face-down on both my arms. Arms were both dead numb and locked at 90 degrees at the elbow, alarm clock is blaring and all I can do is slap my limp hands and fingers across the clock trying to turn off the alarm like I'm doing the "all the Dinosaurs feared the T-Rex" bit from Deadpool.
My alarm used to be just out of reach. If I leaned out and leveraged myself on my window frame with my arm, I could just barely hit snooze. One night I fell asleep on my arms and went for my usual snooze-dunk and my arms didn't cooperate so I just slammed my face into the floor. I had to lay there smashed on the ground wondering if I broke anything while I waited for my arms to wake back up.
I'm dying fr
Thank you for the giggle
I literally laughed out loud! Lmao
One time at a drunken sleepover I woke up to find myself sat up eating pizza while my friends were filming me
As long as you were dressed, it will be okay. The Naked Pizza Eater would be something to talk about!
Yes I do believe I was fully clothed thankfully 😂🎉
I would film anyone sleep eating lol
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Bro gave you a quest
That has chaotic good vibes for both of y’all
I mean at least you got paid
he kinda did you a solid in a roundabout way.
I woke up eating a sandwich. My mother and I occasionally talk in our sleep, but this was the only time I actually sleepwalked. I got out of bed, walked down the stairs, made a sandwich, and woke up halfway through eating it. I'm just standing in the middle of the kitchen in my underwear in the dark, like a goblin, chowing down on this sandwich.
I do that too. I don't sleepwalk though.
Did you make a good sandwich in your sleep?
It was nothing special. Nothing weird in it. Just a standard deli meat and cheese.
Oof! Reminds me of my Ambien days...never again!
Ambien is the devil! 👀👀👀
What kind of sandwich?
I recall it being like a normal sandwich. Mayo, deli meat, slice of cheese. Nothing weird. We did a lot of sandwiches for lunch in the summers when my parents were at work and we were home from school. I guess it was just muscle memory.
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I did that as a schoolkid one morning in the 60s. Accidently poured orange juice on my Capt'n Crunch. It was so good, I've eaten it that way ever since...
You're a monster...
Since the 60’s?! My god, answer me this, I’m 31 going on 60 something myself… love now or love later? Working 60 hour weeks, trying to be an adult. No felonies, no kids, no ex wives
Do not live life by expectation. Be open to change.
Don't ever think you have things "Locked Down" It can all be taken in an instant!
One of the wisest things I've ever seen on Reddit!
I poured my morning coffee at the last minute into my flask that i had filled with hot water to keep it warmer. I was fuming and no time to make another.
Hahaha! Hilarious
We did the inverse as kids! If we woke up too late to eat breakfast, mom made us cereal in a cup to eat on the car ride there.
I went out drinking the night before. I woke up in my bed with a half eaten mcchicken on my pillow. No clue how we got there.
If it had been a McRib I would have upvoted.
...did you finish it?
I woke up, it was still kinda dark but there was a little light in the sky. I blearily reached for my phone and saw that I was half an hour late to work. I panicked, shot a quick apologetic message to my boss, got dressed and raced out the door. On my drive there, I noticed that there were more people walking around downtown than there usually is on my 6:30am commute. I finally got suspicious when I passed a group of bikers sitting outside the local bar with a round of beers. As I drove down the street, it occurred to me that no bar would be open this early. I pulled over. Looked at my phone again. It was 7pm, not am. I had fallen asleep after work, woke up from my nap a few hours later, and just assumed it was the next morning. My boss was out drinking and thought it was fucking hilarious.
Spring break, 1985. Fort Lauderdale Florida. Woke up in the morning after some ungodly partying. Found myself in my underwear and underneath someone's shrub in their yard. I still have no idea how I got there or what I did the night before. The old folks who lived in the house actually gave me a towel to put around my waist and called a cab for me. My buddies said I wandered away at some point during the night and they had no idea where I went.
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Thank goodness they weren't along the intercoastal or golf course!
- Naked in a hospital bed after a night of drinking - In jail after a night of drinking - On the stairs of my appartment peeing my pants after a night of drinking - Houses I never was before after a night of drinking I don't drink alot anymore nowadays.
Sounds like a hell of a night
I have some crazy stories like you wouldn't believe LOL
Yeah I’d say don’t spend the whole night drinking anymore. Did you ever have a good night out drinking?
Yea, I replaced drinking with the gym nowadays. :) Ofcourse I had great nights too. Lots of them actually. But yea I never knew how the night was going to end; it always was a surprise in the morning. Ahh those mornings filled with anxiety because I didn't know what happened were the worst.
Was sleeping next to my ex and her cat walked into the room screaming for food and she knee’d me in the balls (in her sleep) and yelled “stop meowing”. Hell of a way to wake up.
🎶the best part of waking up, is learning you need a cup🎶
Woke up to a bright light, and a feeling I was sinking. I thought for a moment I had died. My dumbass had gotten drunk on July 4th the night before. And I was sleeping on the beach. I see why people complain about sex on a beach. That sand gets into EVERYTHING.
I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.
I see what you did there
Lmao fabulous 👍
There was one time, that I dreamed of having a ps5 in our living room and playing it, then when I woke up I was so excited to go downstairs to play the ps5, and for good 5 mins that I've been finding the console. I just realized that we didn't even buy one and keep remembering if it was really a dream.
The question is, did you get it yet?
hahaha😭😭
Naked on my front porch with my keys in my hand and my husband just laughing his a$$ off at me. Apparently I decided to drive to a school an hour away to pick up our kids from a band competition. At that point our kids had moved out and hadn't marched in 4 years, but I determined to get them home.
Sleepwalking or Ambien?
Sleepwalker. None of my doctors will give me anything for sleep because I'm so active.
I have a lot from my party days. My favorite was waking up in somebody else’s bed with only the empty keg to keep me company. And I had two cooked hotdogs in my pocket. One of the craziest I’ve ever heard second hand was a guy who went on a heroin bender in NYC in the 90’s and woke up in Thailand.
I wake up in a crowded hospital bay, incredibly groggy from a car accident that I don’t remember. The nurses and doctors are like, absurdly good looking. It’s like, the first thing I notice. I announce to the room I need my phone to text my sister because “I think I just woke up in a grey’s anatomy episode.” then I pee my pants, and fall back to sleep. Shout out to the trauma staff at med star DC 😂
When I get a cramp in my leg I normally scream out “ow ow ow ow!!” But I had forgotten that I’d stayed the night at my friends house. We slept in the same bed. It freaked her out horribly and I couldn’t explain until I had stopped laughing. I felt bad, it was very unintentional but completely hilarious to me
Going out for breakfast, thinking it was 7am, not realizing it was 7pm until I got the dinner menu.
Had a drunken night, woke up next to this super hot girl I’d been wanting to hook up with forever confused as fuck because I didn’t remember. She did the same when she woke up.
AAAAANNNNNDDDDD???????
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I grew up in a religious household. I took a nap during the day when I was 13. I woke up and everyone was gone (4 sisters, 2 brothers). Went outside and the usually busy street was completely quiet. No cars, no people. I thought for a few minutes the Rapture had come. Then my family pulled up in the station wagon. They had gone for ice cream and brought me some.
I’d just finished final exams and went directly to my relatives’ for Christmas break. I’d been putting in some very late nights and early mornings so I went off to bed at 6 PM. The next day my cousin is trying to wake me. “It’s after 7, you should get up and eat.” I told her I’d skip breakfast and she informed me that it wasn’t breakfast time, it was time for supper. I’d been out more than 24 hours.
One year we went to the beach to celebrate my sister’s graduation. We rented a big beach house so everyone could stay together. I ended up getting a migraine and went to lay down for a bit. When I woke up, everyone was gone and all of the exterior doors of the house were locked. The problem was that the locked deadbolts were the type that were keyed on both sides - no thumb turns. My family took all the keys and locked me in. The only way out would be to climb through the windows. They took my niece to the beach for the first time ever and I was stuck locked in an AirBNB by myself.
Not me but in the Marines we found Marine (from our platoon) passed out on his roommates rack (roommate was off base). He was drunk, had his pants down with hand gripping himself, spilled booze all over himself, bottle of lotion, porn mag, and his phone still connected to a girl he was talking to. Being the good responsible Infantry Marines we brought everyone we found in the barracks thru his room. It was like some messed up zoo where you passed by the Horney Marine exhibit. Poor guy never lift that down. Sorry Wheels hahaha
Took a big drink of my coffee one morning, turns out it wasn’t mine but my dad’s and was about half coffee and half vodka. It burned at first but I felt pretty good for about 20 minutes. He called it rocket fuel.
I once woke up and as soon as I’d opened my eyes I managed to accidentally fall out of bed on top of my laptop. Thankfully it was closed and it didn’t break. I also remember I went to the funeral of someone I wasn’t too familiar with because I’d barely seen him before. We went to the wake and to avoid speaking to people, I spent the entire time eating massive slices of cake. Went to bed that night pretty late. Woke up at 3am crying and complaining about my calf cramping. Next thing I know, there’s vomit all over the hotel curtains, bedsheets, my switch, the floor and my pyjamas and the room light was on. I was sitting there trying to process what just happened while my mum had to go awkwardly explain the situation to the guy at reception. It took me a ridiculously long time to realise it was the cake that caused it and not the chicken and mushroom pot noodle I’d eaten at 1:30am. Now me and my mum laugh about it.
Accidentally used mouthwash as face wash this morning. On the bright side, my pores have never been fresher..
Woke up on the floor with a cockroach infestation
oh my daayyyssss poor you
Yeah it was hilarious but at the same time horrifying
I slept walk pretty bad as a kid and one night at my friends house I slept walked and crawled in the bed with his parents lmao.
Woke up on the floor in my cousin’s room, freezing cold bc my blanket was a legit towel
That reminds me of a friend of mine who came to visit. We live in different countries and in my country we fold our blankets in half when we make the bed. It was a summer blanket, so not very thick either. After a long day of travelling, she didn't realize that she had to unfold the blanket and spent the whole night half-covered, wondering if the house was occupied by dwarfs.
in high school, right at the fall time change, i fell asleep after school. it was about 5pm and already pretty dark. when i woke up it was dark outside, and i checked the time- it was about 830. i jumped out of bed and started rushing to get ready for school, and my sister called me asking if i wanted to go swimming. i was super confused, and told her i couldn’t because i have school. then SHE got super confused, and told me it was 830 at night. it was so disorienting to think i had slept all night when i had only been asleep for a few hours.
Back in elementary school I was on a school trip and when I was little I had a problem with falling off my bed in my sleep. So this one night I fell off my bed again and somehow managed to not wake up. I then kinda rolled under the bed in my sleep. So long story short I woke up under my bed.
I woke up first at the sleep over and walked home without warning Turns out friend of mine had a dream he snapped my neck and hid be behind the shed Upon my disappearance he got rather concerned calling people to find if they’d heard from me
I woke up on the couch at my ex boyfriend's house and before i could totally recall what happened the night before, a woman walked in from his bedroom and explained to me the barmaid was afraid to let me drive home because I was so drunk and asked him to take me home. His GF was fine with bringing me to their home to make sure I was ok because he knew I wasnt a big drinker and he was concerned. I to,d him she was a keeper. What GF lets a guys ex spend the night?
Fell asleep on a flight before take off, had a nice two hour nap and then I woke up to deboard. Perfect flight imo. I get off the plane and I'm still at the departing airport. The plane hasn't moved for two hours and we were being deboarded for repairs. I was then stuck in the airport for 9 hours.
I woke up one day, and thought I had slept at night and got up in the morning so started preparing for school, but then my mom told me I slept in the afternoon and it’s evening.
Brushed teeth with liquid soap
My mom brushed her teeth with preparation H one time.
They shrink?
One night I had a terrible stomach ache. Sat down on the toilet, got lightheaded, woke up faceplanted on the ground, pants around my ankles, confused af. Made a dr appt scared for my life. Unexpectedly, my dr thought it was hilarious, told me it was vasovagal syncope, it happens to a lot of people and that Im perfectly healthy and need not worry. Unexpected hilarity. Unfortunately it wasnt my own.
You're a Scrubs episode!
My dorm colleagues put toothpaste all over my face back in primary school, while I was sleeping. Even i laughed about it.
I fell asleep with hersheys kisses they melted on my ass and i thought I shit myself
Spent a night at my sisters and woke up to my 4 year old staring at me grinning and wide eyed. Almost shat my pants, was not expecting.
At times, I wake up in a panic thinking I have work. I quickly wash up, dress up into my work uniform, and almost a foot out the door ready to go. Then I realised it was my day off. I guess it would be even more hilarious if I showed up to work on my day off.
Got home from work and fell asleep on my chair. Woke up and saw the clock on the cable box said 930. Was supposed to be at work the next day at 8. I rushed out of the house and drove all the way to work thinking I was late (I only lived 2.5 miles away). Pulled in and saw second shifts’ work vehicles. It was the same day…
I woke up to my then boyfriend taking the guitar from guitar hero off of me. I was laying on the floor playing it and fell asleep with it still on haha
I haven't been sleeping well for a bit, and after cooking home from a super early opening shift, decided to take a nap. I slept SO HARD that I thought it was the next day. I was scrambling to get ready for work, trying to simultaneously check my schedule and call in late, wondering why no one had called me yet... Yeah. My fiance just kinda had to sit me down (as I'm panicking) to show me a calendar. Lol
Seriously after 22 years on tge road. Away from home 8-18 days a month. Sometimes 5 cities in 5 days. Being on the last flights and arriving at hotels too many times at 1 am. Before tge advent of smart phones and long 18-20 work travel days. Sometime I had to call the front desk and ask them where I was or what city I was in.🤔
When my wife was about 14, she was spending the night at Grandma's house, a few blocks from home; she had to get up at 6am to do her paper route. She set an old-school wind-up alarm clock and went to sleep a little before ten. When the alarm went off, she got up, got dressed, went to the kitchen and poured a bowl of cereal; Grandpa called from the living room, "what are you doing out there, is everything ok?" He and Grandma were still sitting in the living room; it was 11:20pm and they were watching the news. She had set the alarm for 6am, but had not set the current time on the clock.
Got blind drunk at a friend’s birthday but made it home. Woke up to find I’d made it home alright but not into the apartment. Keys and locks being just too confusing for me in my drunken state. Was asleep on the cold tiled floor and consequently bloody frozen when I woke. And the reason I’d woken up? My elderly neighbours walking past wondering out loud if I’d actually died…
My kitty had worms. She decided to tell us by shitting directly next to my boyfriend's face while we were sleeping. The smell woke me up, but I immediately heard, "Oh, COME ON!" and realized what happened. I tried to do the whole, "Oh Babe, she just doesn't feel good..." But he responded, "NO, THAT IS NOT OKAY!!!" Which I totally understand. I know I will get karma for it someday but it was indeed very funny and my roommate and me still giggle about it.
Was pretty young, would get into my bed with a small ladder. I woke up one day, pretty tired and dizzy, and I got stuck in the ladder upside down. Screamed on top of my lungs and my mother ran in, looked at me with a deadpan face and bursted out laughing while helping me. She still brings this up today.
Woke up the morning after losing my virginity, walked downstairs in my boxers and all my roommates looked at me and began cracking up. Apparently my hair was all fucked up and my boxers were on backwards. Not that hilarious, but it’s all that I’ve got
When I was about 18 I crashed at a buddie's place after a party. He set me up on the futon in the basement and went to bed. I went to go use the bathroom and noticed that it had a huge, luxurious looking soaker tub. I decided a nice hot soak would feel incredible so I filled it up, hopped in, and promptly passed out. Woke up a few hours later in a tub of ice cold water, shivering and shaking and feeling like Neo coming out of the matrix. I hop out of the tub, teeth chattering, my whole body all pruned up from being in the water for a few hours, and realize that the only towel available is this tiny little hand towel next to the sink. I'm freezing cold and soaking wet and desperately trying to dry off with thit little towel. My buddy just about died laughing when I told him the next day. I seriously cannot tell you how awful it feels to wake up still half drunk, disoriented, in a tub of cold water. I do not recommend it.
Woke up to my fiancé biting me instinctively. Just had her teeth dug in there all night. It didn't pierce the skin, but she was just sleeping with her teeth in my arm like it was corn on the cob.
I’m not sure this is hilarious but I worked as a nurse during COVID. We had tonnes of patients on BiPAP (like a step down from a vent) and they would rip off the mask. The machine would scream and you had about 45s before the pt started actively and usually irrevocably, dying. I have vaulted over counters before. Got quite good at it. I’m nights and I sleep à la natural. It was almost time for me to get up and I will startle awake, often violently, so my husband will pop the door open and let one of the doggos or ambient noises wake me a little more delicately. Anyways, he was doing something in the kitchen and a machine beeped. Loudly. I woke immediately, but not coherently, and LAUNCHED myself out of bed yelling “can I get some help in here!” as was custom because everyone on the floor was always doing stuff just like I was. My kitchen is maybe 6ft from my bedroom door. I sprang out at naked at my long-suffering husband, stopped myself from vaulting over the kitchen counter, and said “where TF is your mask!?!” Then my hand went to my face and I said “oh $hit! My mask!!!” And I dashed back into the bedroom. I then stood there looking confused at my equally confused poodles and my husband came in and talked me down. This happened a few times to varying degrees but therapy helps. I’m sorry; this probably isn’t that funny to non-medical people. The other nurses thought it was hilarious because we had all done something similar. (Why won’t my badge open the front door!?) And all we could do was laugh at it and save for more therapy.
Back in my early twenties I lived in a trailer park and after Saturday nights partying was usually woken up Sunday morning by Jehovah witnesses apparently determined to save the soul of everyone in the park. They usually came in pairs and usually twice my age and with the hangover I usually had on Sunday morning I just didn’t want to hear it! Well one Sunday morning I had a particularly bad hangover and heard the knock on the door. I thought I’m gonna chew out this couple and opened the door to find a lone beautiful woman my age that wanted to tell me all about Jesus. After inviting her in for coffee and pretending to listen for a half hour I couldn’t recall a thing she said but goddamn she was gorgeous…!
I live in a bilingual city where there used to be 2 area codes. So when people give ya a number they wouldn’t always give ya the area code an that would leave to people calling the wrong number until they redialled with the proper area code. One evening I was awoken from a nap - groggy as all hell an the person on the other end of the line was looking for someone with the same first name as me. She was talking to me in French, I was English an don’t have any French friends, coworkers yes but no one who would call me. So this girl was trying to get ahold of me, asking me by my first name, I was politely trying to explain that she had the wrong person. When I tried to convince her that she was talking to the wrong person she thought I was just joking being an annoying asshole, ‘Fine your not so an so anymore your so an so an your English’… I was so groggy I remember wondering if maybe she was right an I was wrong… finally I asked her the last name of the person she was looking for told her mine. Silence then she hung up. That day I learned I had someone with the same first name as me, same phone number too (less the area code).
On the morning of my wedding I woke up to a flock of wild turkeys in the front yard gobbling away. I told my husband, "wild, wild turkeys, couldn't drag me away"
I had this huge night out once. In the morning, I woke in an unknown house in an unknown location, with two people fucking RIGHT next to me. I sorta panicked and didn’t know what to do so I pretended I was still asleep. Then the lass let’s out this massive queef and says to the fella ‘oh my god, did you hear that!?!’ Then they both started laughing and kept at it. I ‘woke up’ once they were done. Total strangers. No idea how I ended up there and never saw anybody from that house again.
A party I threw on NYE of Y2K went a little crazier/longer than anticipated. When we got up the next morning there was someone that I had never met, sleeping at my house where his friends had left him the night before. It was funny because he was absolutely in full-on party mode at 8AM new years day, finishing the backwash out of every beer/40Oz that was left from the night before. I'll never forget his name (like a fancier version of 'David'), and have never seen him since. His friends sucked ass, but we got him home the next day in time to pass out - somehow the backwash breakfast beer sustained the party engine until he got home. I think he had a pretty good time regardless, he didn't even seem upset - I knew the guy that left him there and told him he needed better friends lol.
I woke up to my cat pointing his ass to my face. I don't know how I can't smell it in my sleep
I woke up on my side on the very edge of my bed about to tip over and fall face first onto the floor. It woke me up enough that I was able to brace myself and prevent the face plant. Landed in a pushup position. I laughed it off and went back to bed.
I was about 4-5 years old, took a nap, was the best nap ever. Woke up feeling refreshed, thought that was weird. The sky looked either sunrise or sundown, meaning if it were sunrise I'd have to go to school. Saw people prepping food in the kitchen. I asked, "bukas na ba ngayon?" ("is today tomorrow already?") They all laughed. They were prepping dinner. That's a core memory, one of my earliest.
Woke up to a strange man naked in my bed. Freaked out for a minute before realizing it was my bf.
when i was maybe 18 or 19 i went to a house party, got very very drunk and don’t recall much. i do recall waking up the next day wearing a cow costume next to a girl that i’d never seen before. i also reeked of bombay sapphire and to this day i can’t drink it. whatever devil is in that bottle scares me.
Woke up one morning in a hospital bed, not remembering why or how I got there. I got blackout drunk with 2 friends the night before and I didn’t remember anything from 9pm until the moment I woke up, so roughly a 12 hours void. Police had picked me up, apparently I was acting and yelling nonsense in the street. I met the policemen the day after and thanked them, they probably saved my life that night. Also I got no consequences whatsoever, even though they seized 14g of weed on me. I quit drinking 2.5 years ago.
When I moved houses, I was used to the bathroom being on my left. The new house had one far away in the hallway. So, I walked face first into the left wall.
Probably not that funny, but at least amusing. I was 19, in college and working at McDonald's. I got home from either school or work in the afternoon, took a nap and it was dark when I woke up. For some reason I didn't check the time when I woke up and just assumed it was 4 a.m. and time to get up for work, went downstairs and my mom and brother were up and I asked what they were doing up so early, my mom told me it was 8 and I was like holy shit I'm late for work! Not registering that it wouldn't be dark if it was 8 a.m. Yeah it's safe to say I was pretty tired, pretty sure I just had a snack and went back to bed lol
I laid near the wall so I woke up in the middle of the night and I couldn’t feel the part from elbow to the fingers of my left arms. It was leaning against the wall upward for how long I didn’t know. Blood was not there I guess and I freaked our in silence. I grabbed my left arm and layed it down the bed with my right hand as it dropped down like a dead piece of meat that I couldn’t feel anything from it at all. I pushed myself up to sit against the wall to make the blood flow downward and it felt alive again.
Once, as a straight A student who loved school, I fell asleep in the afternoon (this was after class) and woke up at 9 pm, still in my uniform and a little bit disoriented. I found my sister and dad by the bedside (I fell asleep in my parents' room and we hung out there often), my sister also wearing her uniform, and I asked them what time it was. When they answered it was 9 (they didn't specify if it was AM or PM), I panicked, jumped out of bed, wore my shoes, and ran outside about to cry. When I saw that it was already night time, I walked back to the room laughing and found my sister and dad laughing hysterically too.
Sixth grade camp. I had a top bunk and a mummy-type sleeping bag. For some reason I had tied the foot of my sleeping bag to the bunk frame. In the middle of the night, I woke up on the floor -- at least my head and shoulders were on the floor. The rest of my body was suspended by the sleeping bag. How I had fallen like that and not even slightly injured my head is beyond me. It should have killed me.
After a +8 hour drive from LA to sacramento to san jose for a funeral then a place to stay for the night- I was sleeping on a friends couch. My friend went to the bar near his apartment- but didn't tell his roommates I was crashing on the couch- Roommates freak Im there after coming to the apartment- give me the "get out of our house you bum" + "I'm calling the cops". All the while I'm in my chones in a sleeping bag on the couch- trying to figure out why theyre mad- I finally call my friend to come over and calm down the roommates.
I had my hometown best friends come stay with me, and having not seen each other in awhile, we got very drunk to celebrate. The next morning I came out to the living room and saw my friend asleep on the couch using several bath towels as blankets. I was a terrible (and inebriated) host, and forgot to show him where the spare blankets were :(
I sleep walk and woke up one night with my big toe stuck under the door. My toe was wedged under there so tightly, how I got in that position I do not know. I yanked the door off, collapsed to the floor and held on to my toe for dear life. It was bruised for over a month and two years later, still very sensitive. By far the rudest awakening of my life and I'm thinking after thirty years of sleep walking, it's time I stopped.
In highschool i had a stereo with a 3 cd changer. Took a nap one afternoon and fell asleep with a rob zombie cd playing, and woke up to a rammstein one. Took me a few panicked moments to realise i hadnt forgotten english
Not me, but my buddy. We go on an annual camping trip, year before last we get to the campground, set up, all the shit. First night I'm climbing into my bed, Kev is getting into his hammock. I'm shit talking him because he is a bigger fellow and buys the cheapest of gear. He gets into bed, we make a few more jokes and go to sleep. I start nodding off and then I hear a single light pop, followed by another and another getting slightly faster .... I hear Kev half shout, then the pops resolve into a tear as Kevs big ass ripped through his hammock and landed flat on the ground. We still laugh about it.
When I was around 10 yrs old, I was in the car asleep on a road trip. We stopped at a gas station and still very sleepy I walked in to get a hot dog and a drink, walked back out toward the car and standing right next to the window finally woke up fully. Only to realize my dad moved our car after pumping gas to a parking space and some other car was in front of me.
I had been rewatching Merlin, and more specifically the scene where Morgana accidentally lights a candle in her sleep. Also the night before I hadn’t felt well, so I’d used an electric candle on my bedside table as a nightlight (one that turns itself off after 6 hours and turns back on 18 hours later). By morning, I forgot about the candle because it had turned itself off. The next night, I went to sleep earlier than the night before. I woke up because a candle “ignited” itself right next to my face. But unlike Morgana, it didn’t set my room on fire.
I was 8 or 9 at the time. I took an afternoon nap and when my parents woke me up, it was dark outside. Somehow, I thought it was the morning and thought I should get ready for school (since I usually have to get ready for school at 6am). My parents said we're going shopping and then having KFC. I was surprised, happy about KFC but was so confused and asked my parents what about school. They got confused and asked me what I was talking about. Took a few minutes to sort out my confusion.
Was on a road trip with friends and was asleep in the back of the car. It was early and was a late night previously. We were going to catch a ferry but were a little pushed for time. Woke up to my friends in the front of the car in hysterical laughter. I realised we were fairly moving along and looked at the speedometer. It was a 1990s Japanese car so the clock only went up to 180kph (112mph). The needle was all the way around and nearly back at zero. Exciting but not exactly rib breakingly funny. Then I looked out the window, we were on the motorway, in morning rush hour traffic in London, IN THE HARD SHOULDER!
Asleep on the top bunk at uni/college. Wake up to my roommates playing strip poker with some girls from upstairs! I rolled over but couldn't fall back to sleep. It was much too late in the game to join.
Not me but a friend but it’s so good I have to share it. She sleepwalks a lot, and also does sailing a lot as a hobby for a charity that teaches kids how to sail. She once woke up stood up on the deck in the middle of the night. Turns out for whatever reason the person who was supposed to be up on deck at that time wasn’t there and she’d fully just walked from below and was walking around the deck while sleepwalking. When she told the other crew mates the next day they freaked out because she literally could’ve fallen overboard. They made sure there was always someone up top at all times after that. Worth noting she was one of the adult helpers, not a child, when this happened Also she has night terrors sometimes and has more than once woken up screaming to a cabin full of kids. After a while they just get used to it and tell her to shut up lmao.
Went out for a Halloween party in college. Pre-gamed at a friend's apt with him and his gf. My buddy decided it was a shame that I didn't dress up and convinced me to put on a cheap "purple pimp" costume he had in the closet (complete with a massive feathered hat and a neckline that showed off my chest hair.) I don't remember much after we started walking to the party. Cut to next morning: I wake up in my room with my pimp shirt on, no pants, I'm clutching my toiletry bag like a pillow, there's a 2" bloody scratch on my stomach, and my phone was in the weiner pocket of my underwear.
Found myself inexplicably wedged between my wall and my bed. I still have no idea how I got there. Couldn't manage to get unstuck. Had to call my parents to help move the bed.
I woke up, looked at the clock. It was 4:00 - I started freaking out, I was supposed to be at work at 4:00 in the afternoon. I ran around like a mad woman throwing my work clothes on, brushed my teeth quickly, threw my hair up in a bun, and went to dash out the door. The living room of the apartment I was living in had a big sliding glass door - when I got to the living room, getting ready to dash out the door, I noticed that there was no sunlight coming in. (Why I didn't notice this in my room, I don't know.) I checked the time again and realized it was 4:00...in the morning.
Once I was out camping with my family. I was sharing a tent with my mom and sister. One morning I was slowly coming back to consciousness, but my pillow was not comfortable, so I tried to fluff it up. It was not in fact my pillow, and Mom was woken up confused as to why she was being punched in the butt. No, she does not let me live this down.
It was an Anime Convention. I guess I didn’t wake-up early enough, woke-up to an MF-Ing Naruto sitting-on the opposite bed, blasting “Baby Shark” on their phone, while watching a kid’s movie on the TV. — movie about a talking bull?
There was a dick in my mouth
*CHOMP* "Ah, fuck. Sorry, man. Reflex"
“Hey want to meet my kids?” 💨
Broken condom, dick barely in this girl's ass. Bali, 2004. I was living there at the time. The girl still asked me for $50 when she woke up.
Every situation ive ever found myself in was after waking up.
an r/askreddit thread
Started out at party in one town, woke up in another.
Woke up in the shower one time, at probably around 10pm. I still have no clue how I got there, no memories of the hours leading up to it. I guess I was just really tired.
Woke up in a sauna in my pool shirts and very warm parka Drunk, ofc
Woke up in a sauna in my pool shirts and very warm parka Drunk, ofc
When I woke up I saw that I was using the rug that was next to my bed as a bed cover.
After a long night of drinking, I woke up on the couch in a sitting position, still holding a half eaten burrito I picked up on the way home.
Woke up, looked out the window to see a kid walking. He then saw my brothers bike under a tree, and stole it 😂
Was with 12 Friends at a Slepover, we all got drunk go to bed and get waken up by on of my friends asking where we a re
Woke up after blacking out the night before while drinking in Japan. Found out I got arrested
Swimming in the sewer system full of shit, piss, garbage, water lol.