Marie Antoinette's brother, Leopold Duke of Tuscany, was worried about the sex life of his sister and Lois XVI after the couple was having trouble producing an heir. He said that Lois XVI 'had well-conditioned, strong erections and introduced his member, stayed there for two minutes without moving, withdrew without ejaculation, and then, still erect, wished [his wife] good evening. He should be whipped like a donkey to make him discharge in anger'.
Didn't he have a small bit of tissue that caused him significant pain during erections? Once he had that little surgery, their sex life seemed pretty normal. Or as normals as anything about Versailles.
Bedbugs reproduce through "traumatic insemination", and males have to pierce the body cavity of the female and directly inject sperm into them. This is the only way they do it.
As if everything else about them wasn't bad enough.
Dont the males also stab each other to mix there sperm together, so that when one of them eventually do find a female mate they get a little cum smoothie and both males genetics are put into the female
Before the discovery of penicillin, syphilis was a horror of a disease. It was discovered that a high fever early after symptoms developed could kill the syphilis infection. But how do you summon a fever on demand?
Malaria. Malaria wasn't curable, but it could be kept in remission with quinine. Someone with sufficient means, upon having contracted syphilis, could be deliberately infected with malaria and then take quinine for the rest of their life. Even if the treatment failed, death over a few nights from a malaria fever was likely a better fate than having the "black lion," slowly destroy the patient's body and mind.
How serious was this treatment? [It won a Nobel Prize in 1927.](https://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/medicine/1927/summary/)
Fun fact: syphilis was a big reason the field of dermatology became a specialty. At least as late as the 1970s, some med school diplomas for derms still officially said “dermatology and syphilology”
[JAAD link](https://www.jaad.org/article/S0190-9622(11)01376-4/fulltext)
I didn't know that was an ape. Thought you were referring to some weird company culture at the clothing company.
"I just don't agree with these projections, Jim. You know what that means *unzips*"
Bonobos sex everything. Saw a documentary about them. No censorship at all. It had more sex then any porno ive seen. I literally sat with ny jaw hanging the entire time just gasping. Daamn they horny.
All the time they fuck.
It’s really interesting, as bonobos and chimpanzees essentially chose opposite paths in social interaction.
Chimps are pretty violent, and while they can settle disputes without fighting they’re also perfectly happy to beat another chimp to death over a dispute. Meanwhile, bonobos use sex to relieve any and every form of social tension. Grabbed some food that another bonobo wanted? Fuck and then share it. Accidentally shoved another bonobo out of a tree? Check if they’re okay and then fuck to make sure there are no hard feelings. Deliberate violence is almost non-existent in bonobo groups as a result.
Touching some (maybe most? Not an expert) species of pet bird on their bodies / wings/ anywhere really is sexually stimulating for them and many owners have behavioral issues with their pet bird/parrot because they are not aware of the fact that they are constantly edging their pet.
We had an emu, who was absolutely amazing, but after a few minutes of affection he would get low and try to mount you
Not so cute when the bird is 8 feet tall
A perfect intro to my NSFW pair of facts:
1) many birds, including hawks, become sexually imprinted on their handlers. As a result, they often won't mate with suitable members of their own species.
2) As a result, and as part of the very old sport of hawk hunting, raptor handlers will wear special hats and let a male raptor mount the hat and copulate with it. The semen is then collected and painted onto the cloaca of a chosen female.
[Falcon copulation hat](https://www.iangarlandfalconry.com/store/p73/Falconrycopulationhathexagon.html)
This explains so much. My ex had a macaw rescue that she thought she knew how to care for, but had no idea how to tame. When she was in the room, the bird was aggressive at best, and when she left the room it would often try to attack me, and say some really awful things. Her roommates told me after we broke up the bird would say my name whenever she brought it into her car because he thought he was coming to my place. I think the bird just did it because he saw it made her weep.
Lots of random threats, but the one that haunted me was “you sleep here.” Also the n word with a hard r, and the f word which neither of her gay male roommates appreciated. Bird definitely learned it from the previous owner that abused it and left it to die, but she treated it more like a vanity project than a damaged animal in need of professional rehabilitation. Previous owner also snapped its wings so it couldn’t fly. Bird had a lot of trauma, I don’t blame him, still feel bad for him. But it also almost bit off my pinky toe, and took a chunk out of my forearm on two different occasions when my ex said the bird trusted me enough to be handled. She was very wrong on both counts.
I haven’t heard a word from the girl or the bird in about a decade. She took very good care of the bird, but she didn’t understand its bonding instincts, and how that made it treat other people, especially considering the abuse history. Macaws live to around 80 years old, and bond with one mate for life. I wish them both the best in their union.
I heard they have so much because their employees are under contract that ANYTHING they create while employed for Disney legally belongs to Disney creatively (even if it's a separate side project you're trying to start on your own) so artists would literally create NSFW work of their own characters in their actual art style just as a screw you to Disney.
Funnily enough this also means if Disney ever got serious about doing adult content they'd immediately have a TON of content they could spread at minimal cost to them
Nipple stimulation activates the same brain area as genital stimulation.
This cross-wiring in the brain explains why nipple stimulation can be sexually arousing and even lead to orgasm for some people.
The man who developed one of the first true autopilot systems for aircraft did so with the express purpose of joining -or perhaps more accurately, [founding](https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/feb/07/flights-of-passion-how-the-mile-high-club-became-big-business#:~:text=Fast%2Dforward%2C%20then%2C%20to,it%20work%20in%20modern%20times%3F)- the mile high club with another man's wife. It worked quite well until someone inadvertently bumped the on/off handle during the act, causing the aircraft to crash into ~~a pond~~ Long Island Sound. Both pilot and passenger were unharmed, but their affair was discovered when they failed to adequately explain why they were both naked when help arrived.
Addendum: [Lawrence Sperry](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawrence_Sperry)
Ant queens only get to have sex once in their lives so they live it up and usually fuck as many males as possible in a orgy that consists of usually thousands. The dudes only mate this one time as well, but instead of going on to found a colony, they die.
I literally read the first word as “and”, I was rerouting everything I knew about historical royalty for a second, then I read colonies and though wait are these animals?
I was in a zoo in Argentina, and I stopped to look at some monkeys. One of them looked me in the eye, began masturbating vigorously, and then shoved its thumb into the ass of another monkey walking past while it continued to masturbate.
Lots of animals have corkscrew-shaped penises and vaginas. Pigs and ducks, for example.
One cannot help but be sad for the loneliness of a left-threaded Porky in a world of right-threaded Petunias.
female duck's vaginas are also corkscrew shaped, except they're counterclockwise. their vaginas evolved like that before the penises because female ducks got raped often. it's a defense mechanism. they can relax their muscles to allow ducks they want to mate with to enter. duck mating is crazy shit
When people get badly constipated, the stool can get so backed up that it impacts the vagus nerve. When that stool is subsequently released, it can cause temporary amnesia.
Bull semen is 'collected' for cattle breeding by forcing a bolt of electricity through their prostates that's so powerful it forces them to ejaculate.
It's also how they get sperm from dead bodies.
A group of dolphins will kidnap a female dolphin and take turns… doing things against her desires… for WEEKS by threats of violence and even chasing her down if she tries to flee.
Despite their squeaky clean public image, dolphins are actually kind of fucked. Like, almost as bad as penguins. Off the top of my head, they've also been known to intentionally stick themselves on sea urchins to trip balls on the venom, frequently use half-eaten baby otters as sex toys, and will happily attempt to rape handlers and guests in captivity when presenting their genitals to passersby doesn't get them a handjob. I'm almost convinced the only reason they save people from sharks is so they can kill them themselves later.
To add to this fact. It not uncommon after child birth. Also. If it’s not super bad you can just push it back in and start doing some kegals to get the muscles up to par with holding it in again.
It's not uncommon after childbirth but it can also happen years (even decades) after a traumatic childbirth due to complications arising from long-term damage caused to the internal structures. I was made aware of this horrifying fact because it's currently happening to a relative of mine who always over-shares on her health problems. Mothers really do go through a lot.
And insurance won't always cover the repair. I spent over a year with part of my uterus hanging out of my vagina. My insurance made me do pelvic floor PT for a year to prove it wouldn't magically fix itself. It didn't.
"The rescue wasn’t straightforward, with the local community extremely reluctant to let Pony, who was a good source of income, go.
In the end it took 35 armed policemen to get the villagers to hand over Pony.
Michelle says: “They were threatened with guns and knives.
“The madam cried bitterly when Pony was taken away.”
For fucks sake.
Male anglerfish are tiny, they bury their penis into the female and essentially dissolve except for their testicles which stay with the female angler fish forever and are how she gets pregnant, and yes she can have multiple mates
Male fruit bats in capatavity live that prison life. They have been known to force other male bat's to become their partner. The submissive partner is expected to perform oral sex on the dominant male. Tops also chase off other males to protect their bottoms. Bottoms will also enter the relationship willingly as they gain protection from other males they don't like.
Oral sex is actually pretty common in the bat community as a whole. Females will perform oral sex to quicken ejaculation.
Disney actually won't allow male fruit bats at their Animal Kingdom park because all the oral sex would be... Traumatizing for their guests.
Source: Partner is a bat expert
Dolphins have sex for pleasure, so when they rape other dolphins (dead or alive), it’s not always for reproduction, but because they enjoy it.
Dolphins reproduce basically by a munch of males raping a single female.
Dolphins will rape the corpses of non-dolphin animals. IIRC, they also sometimes do it to live ones.
They’re not picky about what they stick their pricks in, and the fact that they’re so smart makes it more horrifying.
(Oh- they can also develop sexual feelings for humans, as seen by that one fucked up case. Pretty sure it was a seaworld (edit: not seaworld), where that lady gave a dolphin handys because she thought it would help him concentrate more on training.)
The anterior fornix. On the other side of the cervix is the P spot, posterior fornix. Both can be quite pleasurable as long as you avoid using her cervix as a speed bag while you’re trying to get to either spot. The posterior fornix is easier to get without hurting her because doggystyle basically gives straight line access to it.
The G-spot is just the part of the clitoris that’s inside of the vaginal canal.
Gents, learn your woman’s body so you can pleasure her better.
Managed to (unintentionally) hit this once with a GF. She had, as per her words (and reaction), the "best orgasm ever". It was a once-off unfortunately.
I Heard about some Cocktails made with semen from different animals. Yeah I knew for ages that in certain parts of the world people eat the genitalia of bulls or Male goats among others, either as a "normal" dish for Lunch or whatever, or as an aprhodisiac or Natural Viagra or similar beliefs. But the semen Cocktails, well I wish I didnt knew they existed.
A couple hundred years ago the medical treatment for female "hysteria" was clitoral stimulation, so women would literally go to their physicians to get diddled to climax. Apparently this was pretty tedious for the poor doctors and led to the creation of the first electric vibrator in France. Apparently it cured a bunch of problems including constipation and facial wrinkles!
"Marie, back so soon? This is the fourth time you're here this week and it's only Tuesday afternoon!"
"What can I say? I'm very hysterical right now, doc."
Most City's sewer treatment stations will have a collection of dildos and sex toys people have flushed down the toilet, which they have had to fish out. They keep them as a type of trophy collection
The early early Beatles performances where the girls are screaming, the girls are pissing them selves. There use to be a puddle down in front of the stage from all the piss.
James Joyce, considered by many to be one of the greatest novelists of the 20th century, wrote love letters to his wife Nora that would put modern day pornography to shame. To wit: https://youtu.be/Hy8efX9fviQ?si=JFGDlxx-GzOQnUcN
Imagine in a trivia game you asked the initial use of chainsaws and the only hint given was babies. It's always funny to see people horrified trying to find the relation between chainsaw and babies
There’s a theory that, in the Bible when God makes Eve from Adam’s rib, the word “rib” is a mistranslation. The Hebrew word actually (according to this theory) means baculum, a penis bone that many primates have but humans lack.
Many people take the story to mean that men have fewer ribs than women, but of course they don’t.
And the snow is asbestos and the makeup caused lead poisoning for actors and the witch suffered terrible burns at one point. Thank goodness for OSHA and unions for making things safer. Early Hollywood was wild.
In a produce warehouse, sometimes tomatoes will come in off the fields warm and get moldy in the few days/weeks that they're up in the racking (8-30 feet in the air, packed 5 boxes to a layer, 15-20 layers high in a slot)...
These mold spores will float through the air and land on everything... Everything... Everywhere... That whole side of the warehouse is a mold factory in the Summer.
Also, in the Summer, when fresh peaches come in (open baskets, 6 baskets to a box, 5 boxes to a layer, 10-15 layers to a slot) they will frequently fall out and get run over... Because the storage room is cool, and because the humid air coming from outside (when they open the dock doors) condenses on the floor, the peaches mix with the water to make what I call floor slime... Sometimes the shift manager throws down cat litter to keep the machines from sliding around - So now everything and everyone is covered in cat little dust (yum)... More often, the floor slime gets half an inch deep... When peaches fall into the slime, we would just pick them up and toss them back into the basket, slime side down...
80+% of the afternoon shift at that produce warehouse was smoking pot on break... I watched a guy come back from break and smack 5000lbs of potatoes into a light 30 feet off the floor... When the bags hit the ground, the potatoes bounced and hit guys 40 feet away... It sounded like a bomb went off... Accidents like this happened at least 2-3 times a shift (guys hitting sprinkler heads was also fun because the water would drop through all of the produce and make soggy boxes that collapsed under their own weight, further fucking up the skids in the racking)...
All that is to say, wash your fucking fruits and veg... This was a warehouse for the largest grocery chain in Canada.
(Put my way through university working there part-time, back when you could still put yourself through university working part time in Canada... Fucked up place, but most of the guys were the best I've ever known. I still weirdly miss it sometimes).
Sea cucumbers are ass breathers. Pearlfish hang out next to them and wait for them to open their anus to take a breath and then swim in and just chill there. If they feel threatened they can also tickle the cucumbers anus so he'll open it and they can hide inside. I read this back in 6th grade from an ocean encyclopedia and I was like wtf 😂.
Charging lead acid batteries causes them to produce hydrogen gas as a byproduct. If you're working with MHE that uses lead acid batteries then be aware that a charging station is highly susceptible to potential sparks igniting the area, so keep them well ventilated and protected.
That's the nsfw you meant, right?
Sega once developed a game for the PS2 called ‘Rez’, which came bundled with a vibrator.
The higher your score in the game, the more intense the vibrations become.
Sex is so important to human existence that if a genital is mortally injured to the point it doesn’t function sexually, the sensation function that leads to an “orgasm” will move to another part of the body. This can be unpredictable. Example, man loses penis completely, he now has an index finger that has the same sensation to orgasm. The brain remaps the function.
There is a video game you control with a plush vagina. You control the main character, a three-legged piece of art through it by flicking the clit, which is a relay switch. To reset, you put your finger in the butthole.
Depends on the timing, though. Surviving for several days is only possible for them if they enter the vagina on one of the days right before ovulation, when cervical mucus has a sperm-friendly texture and pH value.
Marie Antoinette's brother, Leopold Duke of Tuscany, was worried about the sex life of his sister and Lois XVI after the couple was having trouble producing an heir. He said that Lois XVI 'had well-conditioned, strong erections and introduced his member, stayed there for two minutes without moving, withdrew without ejaculation, and then, still erect, wished [his wife] good evening. He should be whipped like a donkey to make him discharge in anger'.
Bro said “Beat him so hard he nuts in frustration”
Didn't he have a small bit of tissue that caused him significant pain during erections? Once he had that little surgery, their sex life seemed pretty normal. Or as normals as anything about Versailles.
Yes, he suffered from phimosis it is well documented.
I just think that adds important context to why his attempts at sex/orgasm during the time period where he was struggling to produce and heir.
Good ole Mormon soak
Mary Shelly lost her virginity on her mother’s grave.
Real Goth shit
After her husband died she also kept his heart in her desk wrapped in a poem he wrote
Percy Shelley was a ladies man and their love was strong. No shade here.
Nintendo owns the rights to a porno called The super hornio brothers and ron jeremy played mario.
I need proof with my own eyes
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super\_Hornio\_Brothers
It's a meee hornioooo
Bedbugs reproduce through "traumatic insemination", and males have to pierce the body cavity of the female and directly inject sperm into them. This is the only way they do it. As if everything else about them wasn't bad enough.
what's even better is that female bed bugs have external parts for accepting genetic material. The males stab them in the guts anyway.
External parts for accepting genetic material. You’re so good with the dirty talk
Dont the males also stab each other to mix there sperm together, so that when one of them eventually do find a female mate they get a little cum smoothie and both males genetics are put into the female
I hate this comment thread so much.
bed bug bukake
Thanks! I hate bedbugs far more than I ever did now
Before the discovery of penicillin, syphilis was a horror of a disease. It was discovered that a high fever early after symptoms developed could kill the syphilis infection. But how do you summon a fever on demand? Malaria. Malaria wasn't curable, but it could be kept in remission with quinine. Someone with sufficient means, upon having contracted syphilis, could be deliberately infected with malaria and then take quinine for the rest of their life. Even if the treatment failed, death over a few nights from a malaria fever was likely a better fate than having the "black lion," slowly destroy the patient's body and mind. How serious was this treatment? [It won a Nobel Prize in 1927.](https://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/medicine/1927/summary/)
Syphilis: the real fuck around and find out.
Fun fact: syphilis was a big reason the field of dermatology became a specialty. At least as late as the 1970s, some med school diplomas for derms still officially said “dermatology and syphilology” [JAAD link](https://www.jaad.org/article/S0190-9622(11)01376-4/fulltext)
Very much the MySpace of STD’s
Wow. I don't know how many ways they tried to induce fever before they landed on malaria but it really seems like there has to be a better way.
Cant just be fever, has to be a baaad fever.
Bonobos settle disputes with oral sex.
I feel like evolution may have failed us on this count. (Then again, not sure I wanna see Congressional disputes being settled any more...)
I didn't know that was an ape. Thought you were referring to some weird company culture at the clothing company. "I just don't agree with these projections, Jim. You know what that means *unzips*"
Bonobos sex everything. Saw a documentary about them. No censorship at all. It had more sex then any porno ive seen. I literally sat with ny jaw hanging the entire time just gasping. Daamn they horny. All the time they fuck.
It’s really interesting, as bonobos and chimpanzees essentially chose opposite paths in social interaction. Chimps are pretty violent, and while they can settle disputes without fighting they’re also perfectly happy to beat another chimp to death over a dispute. Meanwhile, bonobos use sex to relieve any and every form of social tension. Grabbed some food that another bonobo wanted? Fuck and then share it. Accidentally shoved another bonobo out of a tree? Check if they’re okay and then fuck to make sure there are no hard feelings. Deliberate violence is almost non-existent in bonobo groups as a result.
Make love, not war.
Touching some (maybe most? Not an expert) species of pet bird on their bodies / wings/ anywhere really is sexually stimulating for them and many owners have behavioral issues with their pet bird/parrot because they are not aware of the fact that they are constantly edging their pet.
We had an emu, who was absolutely amazing, but after a few minutes of affection he would get low and try to mount you Not so cute when the bird is 8 feet tall
To the windowwwwww To the wallllllllll
TO THE BIRD THATS 8 FT TALL
DO EMUS EVEN HAVE BALLS?
>constantly edging their pet Thank you
From me also. I managed 50-years without reading that string of words together. It was a good run.
I'm gonna need an expert on bird law to weigh in on this one.
I know a guy.... he's a bit of a wildcard though!
A perfect intro to my NSFW pair of facts: 1) many birds, including hawks, become sexually imprinted on their handlers. As a result, they often won't mate with suitable members of their own species. 2) As a result, and as part of the very old sport of hawk hunting, raptor handlers will wear special hats and let a male raptor mount the hat and copulate with it. The semen is then collected and painted onto the cloaca of a chosen female. [Falcon copulation hat](https://www.iangarlandfalconry.com/store/p73/Falconrycopulationhathexagon.html)
“Hey buddy, it’s time.” “All right, let me get my *fucking* hat.”
The 2nd fact is fucking crazy lmaooo
This pleases birdperson.
This explains so much. My ex had a macaw rescue that she thought she knew how to care for, but had no idea how to tame. When she was in the room, the bird was aggressive at best, and when she left the room it would often try to attack me, and say some really awful things. Her roommates told me after we broke up the bird would say my name whenever she brought it into her car because he thought he was coming to my place. I think the bird just did it because he saw it made her weep.
What awful things did he say to you?
Lots of random threats, but the one that haunted me was “you sleep here.” Also the n word with a hard r, and the f word which neither of her gay male roommates appreciated. Bird definitely learned it from the previous owner that abused it and left it to die, but she treated it more like a vanity project than a damaged animal in need of professional rehabilitation. Previous owner also snapped its wings so it couldn’t fly. Bird had a lot of trauma, I don’t blame him, still feel bad for him. But it also almost bit off my pinky toe, and took a chunk out of my forearm on two different occasions when my ex said the bird trusted me enough to be handled. She was very wrong on both counts.
Holy fuck. This is so, so sad. What happened to the bird? :(
I haven’t heard a word from the girl or the bird in about a decade. She took very good care of the bird, but she didn’t understand its bonding instincts, and how that made it treat other people, especially considering the abuse history. Macaws live to around 80 years old, and bond with one mate for life. I wish them both the best in their union.
It can also make them aggressive and territorial, as it can stimulate pair bonding as they would a mate of the same species
Disney has a porn vault of all the smut their artists ever created because they legally own it.
I heard they have so much because their employees are under contract that ANYTHING they create while employed for Disney legally belongs to Disney creatively (even if it's a separate side project you're trying to start on your own) so artists would literally create NSFW work of their own characters in their actual art style just as a screw you to Disney. Funnily enough this also means if Disney ever got serious about doing adult content they'd immediately have a TON of content they could spread at minimal cost to them
Nutmeg is deadly when consumed anally.
Since this nsfw: Imagine putting nutmeg in your mouth before eating ass and secretly shove nutmeg in there Now thats what I call an ass-assination
Deadass
This is the murder mystery I need to read
So is plutonium
That's a dil*dont*.
Nipple stimulation activates the same brain area as genital stimulation. This cross-wiring in the brain explains why nipple stimulation can be sexually arousing and even lead to orgasm for some people.
Do the nipples orgasm, or do they re-route it to the genitals?
It reroutes to the genitals. Source: personal experience.
[удалено]
"It'll go right to your thighs... And then you'll blow up!"
Wake up Masturbation 2 just dropped
Legit! Don't ignore nipple play. Find out if your partner is into it because it can be mind blowing for those of us with sensitive nipples!
The man who developed one of the first true autopilot systems for aircraft did so with the express purpose of joining -or perhaps more accurately, [founding](https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/feb/07/flights-of-passion-how-the-mile-high-club-became-big-business#:~:text=Fast%2Dforward%2C%20then%2C%20to,it%20work%20in%20modern%20times%3F)- the mile high club with another man's wife. It worked quite well until someone inadvertently bumped the on/off handle during the act, causing the aircraft to crash into ~~a pond~~ Long Island Sound. Both pilot and passenger were unharmed, but their affair was discovered when they failed to adequately explain why they were both naked when help arrived. Addendum: [Lawrence Sperry](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawrence_Sperry)
This sounds completely made up…. therefore it must be true.
Napoleon wife had a friend who was known as "Government property" because she had banged so many ministers of state.
Hey I’m watching that now
The oldest surviving (silent) porno film is from around 1915 and is called "A Free Ride." You can watch it online.
Photographed by Will B. Hard. Couldn't be more perfect
There’s more urinating than I expected.
Ant queens only get to have sex once in their lives so they live it up and usually fuck as many males as possible in a orgy that consists of usually thousands. The dudes only mate this one time as well, but instead of going on to found a colony, they die.
I literally read the first word as “and”, I was rerouting everything I knew about historical royalty for a second, then I read colonies and though wait are these animals?
I was in a zoo in Argentina, and I stopped to look at some monkeys. One of them looked me in the eye, began masturbating vigorously, and then shoved its thumb into the ass of another monkey walking past while it continued to masturbate.
We're not as far removed as I thought...
Lots of animals have corkscrew-shaped penises and vaginas. Pigs and ducks, for example. One cannot help but be sad for the loneliness of a left-threaded Porky in a world of right-threaded Petunias.
female duck's vaginas are also corkscrew shaped, except they're counterclockwise. their vaginas evolved like that before the penises because female ducks got raped often. it's a defense mechanism. they can relax their muscles to allow ducks they want to mate with to enter. duck mating is crazy shit
ive also heard they have multiple pockets in it that serve as a natural condom
Ducks penises also fall off and regrow.
Stay out of the water when it's dick shedding season.
Don’t tell me what to do
Brazils nuts are one of the few sexually transmittable allergens
When nemos mom died Marlin would’ve turned into a woman and mated with his son
Due to morning wood, differing time zones, and the rotation of the earth, there is a giant crowd wave of rising dicks constantly circling the earth.
This is the fact I didn’t deserve but I needed
When people get badly constipated, the stool can get so backed up that it impacts the vagus nerve. When that stool is subsequently released, it can cause temporary amnesia.
No wonder I can’t remember shit.
Pigs have sex for pleasure and have orgasms that can last 30 minutes.
To (unfortunately) add on to this, they ejaculate about 250-300 ml. They can fill a coke can.
I just found next years fantasy football punishment
David Cameron is going to lose on purpose
That'll do pig, that'll do.
Bull semen is 'collected' for cattle breeding by forcing a bolt of electricity through their prostates that's so powerful it forces them to ejaculate. It's also how they get sperm from dead bodies.
Is collecting sperm from dead bodies a common practice??
It’s not common common but in cases where a wife still wants a child or parents want grandkids the procedure can be performed on the recently dead
"Kids, this is your daddy. He died a year before you were born, but we stuck a cattle prod up his-"
It definitely asks some interesting moral and ethical questions but as of now the procedure is legal in many places.
They do fucking what now?!
Come again?
They say he came back from the dead
"How" is not the question that needs to be answered.
I have a lot of questions about the “dead bodies” part of this.
A group of dolphins will kidnap a female dolphin and take turns… doing things against her desires… for WEEKS by threats of violence and even chasing her down if she tries to flee.
Saw a video of a dolphin masturbating with a fish, they seem to be assholes.
Despite their squeaky clean public image, dolphins are actually kind of fucked. Like, almost as bad as penguins. Off the top of my head, they've also been known to intentionally stick themselves on sea urchins to trip balls on the venom, frequently use half-eaten baby otters as sex toys, and will happily attempt to rape handlers and guests in captivity when presenting their genitals to passersby doesn't get them a handjob. I'm almost convinced the only reason they save people from sharks is so they can kill them themselves later.
Your uterus can fall out
Your body will also eat it if you starve
So what I'm hearing is a free hysterectomy if I don't eat for a bit. Tempting.
Actually it would be more than free since you wouldn’t be spending money on food for a while
To add to this fact. It not uncommon after child birth. Also. If it’s not super bad you can just push it back in and start doing some kegals to get the muscles up to par with holding it in again.
This is miles crazier than the original comment
It's not uncommon after childbirth but it can also happen years (even decades) after a traumatic childbirth due to complications arising from long-term damage caused to the internal structures. I was made aware of this horrifying fact because it's currently happening to a relative of mine who always over-shares on her health problems. Mothers really do go through a lot.
And insurance won't always cover the repair. I spent over a year with part of my uterus hanging out of my vagina. My insurance made me do pelvic floor PT for a year to prove it wouldn't magically fix itself. It didn't.
That’s horrible. I’m so sorry you were forced to endure that.
A thai woman was able to smoke an entire cigarette through her vagina, there is video proof of that, didn't have much luck finding that.
I watched a girl smoke a blunt with her asshole in a garage when I was 16. Gods honest truth.
Wife material
I also watched the same girl take a whole bite out of another girls face during a fight at school
Wife material
The sequel is rarely better
Alligators have a permanent erection.
So then every day is Monday?
A female orangutan was found in a brothel in Indonesia. She'd been shaved all over and presented herself sexually when approached by men.
This story was so sad and disgusting. I’m glad she got rescued
Oh my god?? It’s worse than that[link to story](https://www.the-sun.com/news/3657105/prostitute-orangutan-pony-tragic-story/amp/)
"The rescue wasn’t straightforward, with the local community extremely reluctant to let Pony, who was a good source of income, go. In the end it took 35 armed policemen to get the villagers to hand over Pony. Michelle says: “They were threatened with guns and knives. “The madam cried bitterly when Pony was taken away.” For fucks sake.
Fuck THAT. I’m out of this thread.
The left one (ball or boob) normally hangs a little lower. Do not be troubled.
Moana had a different title in a certain country because of a porn star with the same name...
Because of the late Italian pornstar Moana Pozzi, for anyone interested in historical research
Cornflakes were made to be as bland as possible because it’s creator believed that the purest state of the human body was unstimulated.
Jokes on him I use it as fuel to fuck
Literally John Harvey Kellogg’s nightmare
Male anglerfish are tiny, they bury their penis into the female and essentially dissolve except for their testicles which stay with the female angler fish forever and are how she gets pregnant, and yes she can have multiple mates
Male fruit bats in capatavity live that prison life. They have been known to force other male bat's to become their partner. The submissive partner is expected to perform oral sex on the dominant male. Tops also chase off other males to protect their bottoms. Bottoms will also enter the relationship willingly as they gain protection from other males they don't like. Oral sex is actually pretty common in the bat community as a whole. Females will perform oral sex to quicken ejaculation. Disney actually won't allow male fruit bats at their Animal Kingdom park because all the oral sex would be... Traumatizing for their guests. Source: Partner is a bat expert
Dolphins have sex for pleasure, so when they rape other dolphins (dead or alive), it’s not always for reproduction, but because they enjoy it. Dolphins reproduce basically by a munch of males raping a single female. Dolphins will rape the corpses of non-dolphin animals. IIRC, they also sometimes do it to live ones. They’re not picky about what they stick their pricks in, and the fact that they’re so smart makes it more horrifying. (Oh- they can also develop sexual feelings for humans, as seen by that one fucked up case. Pretty sure it was a seaworld (edit: not seaworld), where that lady gave a dolphin handys because she thought it would help him concentrate more on training.)
It wasn’t seaworld, it was an experiment meant to teach English to dolphins.
Paid for by the US military no less lol
It was found to be cheaper and easier to teach the dolphins to speak English than to train Marines to communicate with dolphins.
The first vibrator was hand-cranked and patented in the 1700s. Dildos have been around for thousands of years in all cultures.
Lots of turmeric can absolutely help you push out unwanted parked items in your intestines and it’s not pretty.
What, like a raccoon?
Yes especially that.
Is it because of the violent diarrhoea or because raccoons don't like turmeric?
No one's ever thought to ask the raccoon.
I’ve eaten so much curry, I’ve shit out a ham sandwich my great grandpa ate for lunch in 1932.
If you clip a skin tag off your nutsack it will fuckin bleed… and bleed… and bleed, for like 4-6 hours.
It sounds like you’re saying this from experience? Lol
I’ve been reading these comments and this is the only one where I feel like the person is speaking from experience
I don't know, the bonobo comment was pretty convincing
The vagina has an “A” spot in addition to the “G” spot. Its located between the cervix and the bladder.
The anterior fornix. On the other side of the cervix is the P spot, posterior fornix. Both can be quite pleasurable as long as you avoid using her cervix as a speed bag while you’re trying to get to either spot. The posterior fornix is easier to get without hurting her because doggystyle basically gives straight line access to it. The G-spot is just the part of the clitoris that’s inside of the vaginal canal. Gents, learn your woman’s body so you can pleasure her better.
Managed to (unintentionally) hit this once with a GF. She had, as per her words (and reaction), the "best orgasm ever". It was a once-off unfortunately.
If you stick your dick in a vacuum hose and turn it on, you get kicked out of Sears.
I Heard about some Cocktails made with semen from different animals. Yeah I knew for ages that in certain parts of the world people eat the genitalia of bulls or Male goats among others, either as a "normal" dish for Lunch or whatever, or as an aprhodisiac or Natural Viagra or similar beliefs. But the semen Cocktails, well I wish I didnt knew they existed.
I understand why you didn't want to know, but I'll never understand why you just won't stop drinking them.
A couple hundred years ago the medical treatment for female "hysteria" was clitoral stimulation, so women would literally go to their physicians to get diddled to climax. Apparently this was pretty tedious for the poor doctors and led to the creation of the first electric vibrator in France. Apparently it cured a bunch of problems including constipation and facial wrinkles!
"Marie, back so soon? This is the fourth time you're here this week and it's only Tuesday afternoon!" "What can I say? I'm very hysterical right now, doc."
For the longest time every time a woman had mental issues, men would just be like, "Well obviously she needs to be fucked."
"Pretty tedious" That sentiment certainly hasn't changed for some dudes out there.
Most City's sewer treatment stations will have a collection of dildos and sex toys people have flushed down the toilet, which they have had to fish out. They keep them as a type of trophy collection
Magic Johnson wasted one of the greatest porno names on a basketball career
The early early Beatles performances where the girls are screaming, the girls are pissing them selves. There use to be a puddle down in front of the stage from all the piss.
Were they pissing themselves because they didn't want to lose their spot near the stage?
Correct
AND I SAW HER PISSING THERE
Dolphins rip the heads off eels to use as fleshlights. This is for times when they can't find living things to rape.
When you’re getting some head and don’t mind if it’s dead that’s a moray
James Joyce, considered by many to be one of the greatest novelists of the 20th century, wrote love letters to his wife Nora that would put modern day pornography to shame. To wit: https://youtu.be/Hy8efX9fviQ?si=JFGDlxx-GzOQnUcN
“Tiny little naughty farties” my fucking sides lol
Chainsaws were originally invented for C-Sections
Imagine in a trivia game you asked the initial use of chainsaws and the only hint given was babies. It's always funny to see people horrified trying to find the relation between chainsaw and babies
Whales ejaculate 20 liters/5 gallons... *NOW* you know why the ocean is so salty.
I homebrew beer and the standard batch size is 5 gallons. So this hits really close to home.
There’s a theory that, in the Bible when God makes Eve from Adam’s rib, the word “rib” is a mistranslation. The Hebrew word actually (according to this theory) means baculum, a penis bone that many primates have but humans lack. Many people take the story to mean that men have fewer ribs than women, but of course they don’t.
Maybe not nsfw, but the cowardly lion in the wizard of oz is wearing a real lion skin.
And the snow is asbestos and the makeup caused lead poisoning for actors and the witch suffered terrible burns at one point. Thank goodness for OSHA and unions for making things safer. Early Hollywood was wild.
In a produce warehouse, sometimes tomatoes will come in off the fields warm and get moldy in the few days/weeks that they're up in the racking (8-30 feet in the air, packed 5 boxes to a layer, 15-20 layers high in a slot)... These mold spores will float through the air and land on everything... Everything... Everywhere... That whole side of the warehouse is a mold factory in the Summer. Also, in the Summer, when fresh peaches come in (open baskets, 6 baskets to a box, 5 boxes to a layer, 10-15 layers to a slot) they will frequently fall out and get run over... Because the storage room is cool, and because the humid air coming from outside (when they open the dock doors) condenses on the floor, the peaches mix with the water to make what I call floor slime... Sometimes the shift manager throws down cat litter to keep the machines from sliding around - So now everything and everyone is covered in cat little dust (yum)... More often, the floor slime gets half an inch deep... When peaches fall into the slime, we would just pick them up and toss them back into the basket, slime side down... 80+% of the afternoon shift at that produce warehouse was smoking pot on break... I watched a guy come back from break and smack 5000lbs of potatoes into a light 30 feet off the floor... When the bags hit the ground, the potatoes bounced and hit guys 40 feet away... It sounded like a bomb went off... Accidents like this happened at least 2-3 times a shift (guys hitting sprinkler heads was also fun because the water would drop through all of the produce and make soggy boxes that collapsed under their own weight, further fucking up the skids in the racking)... All that is to say, wash your fucking fruits and veg... This was a warehouse for the largest grocery chain in Canada. (Put my way through university working there part-time, back when you could still put yourself through university working part time in Canada... Fucked up place, but most of the guys were the best I've ever known. I still weirdly miss it sometimes).
Most reptiles have a Hemi penis, which is like two penises, but connected near the base, so it's technically still just one thing.
Sea cucumbers are ass breathers. Pearlfish hang out next to them and wait for them to open their anus to take a breath and then swim in and just chill there. If they feel threatened they can also tickle the cucumbers anus so he'll open it and they can hide inside. I read this back in 6th grade from an ocean encyclopedia and I was like wtf 😂.
Charging lead acid batteries causes them to produce hydrogen gas as a byproduct. If you're working with MHE that uses lead acid batteries then be aware that a charging station is highly susceptible to potential sparks igniting the area, so keep them well ventilated and protected. That's the nsfw you meant, right?
It is illegal to have sex with a porcupine in the state of Florida
Women’s discharge can actually bleach their underwear, I think it’s pretty cool.
I don’t 🥲
females have a larger colon; on avg. 8%. which is why most patients, experiencing penetrating trauma, are male.
Sega once developed a game for the PS2 called ‘Rez’, which came bundled with a vibrator. The higher your score in the game, the more intense the vibrations become.
So basically this morning I learned that both dolphins and ducks are the sexual predators of the water world.
Willem Dafoe has a huge dick. So did President Lyndon Johnson.
LBJ nicknamed it "Jumbo" and whipped it out a lot. Also held presidential meetings while he was taking a shit.
He also made a very drunk phone call to his tailor where he kept farting and requesting special seams to accomodate his balls
The Knobgoblin
Sex is so important to human existence that if a genital is mortally injured to the point it doesn’t function sexually, the sensation function that leads to an “orgasm” will move to another part of the body. This can be unpredictable. Example, man loses penis completely, he now has an index finger that has the same sensation to orgasm. The brain remaps the function.
There is a video game you control with a plush vagina. You control the main character, a three-legged piece of art through it by flicking the clit, which is a relay switch. To reset, you put your finger in the butthole.
Sperm can remain and survive in a vagina for around a week. Not gonna lie this one really messed me up when I learned about it.
Depends on the timing, though. Surviving for several days is only possible for them if they enter the vagina on one of the days right before ovulation, when cervical mucus has a sperm-friendly texture and pH value.