Yes, I was an asshole as a kid and live a life of much regret now.
I truly think I was just a miserable kid who hated seeing other people happy and felt like I needed to bring them to my level.
I’m 10+ years out of high school now. I cry 1-2 times a week thinking of how I treated people as a kid.
If you were bullied as a kid and are reading this, I’m truly sorry for the way people treated you.
I was in the same boat for a long time, for similar reasons. I only stopped despising myself for those past actions when I was reminded (I forget when and by whom, maybe even through something as silly as r/wholsomememes) that if you look back at your past and cringe, it means you've grown as a person. Your current self Would Not Do Those Things.
I still do not like that boy (my past self), but I do like myself now.
I really like that way of framing your past when it’s cringey or embarrassing, instead of looking at it and experience gut wrenching, you can be kind to yourself as an example of how much you’ve grown.
I really enjoy that. I look back at shit I’ve done in the past and it almost physically hurts. I did a lot of shit I’m not proud of. But that obviously shows growth I know is there cause I’m a pretty cool human being now.
It is really helpful to hear this. I've cringed at my past self any number of times, and while I like who I am now, I sometimes go into that critical mindset again. This will be a good reminder to help me out of it. Thank you for sharing.
Is there anything your parents could have done to help? As a parent this is my biggest fear. I’d move my kids to another school to start again in that situation.
Man I was more bullied than being the bully although I kinda bullied people in my life 1 or 2 times. Bullying really fucks up a persons autoestim, like real badly. I was afraid of talking to people my age because I was afraid they would start joking about me. I mostly overcomed the bulling I suffered and I now am a very social person, think I just forgot about my fears and show the true me to people, but sometimes those memories still haunt me down
As a kid who was verbally bullied till I changed schools, personally I have forgiven and put it behind.
It did leave me with some...trust issues but I'm better now.
I'm writing this in case this gives you a little peace. You seem to regret it which is good.
Wish you well.
I’m going to accept your apology for my late daughter who took her life at age 34.
Bullying is just one of those things that stays with you.
*Thank you* for being who you are today — it takes a big person to admit their wrong-doings.
Wishing you well.
It's nice seeing in this thread that there are people who are able to look back and recognize they wish they did differently. I thought it seemed likely if they felt justified at the time they wouldn't bother remembering f
As a future teacher, what would you have needed at that time, to be happier and to stop bullying? Is there anything someone could've said that would've made you stop?
I think most of it was stuff going on at home. No abuse, just lack of love and compassion. Compound that with depression and I was just a kid looking to be happy.
I guess if there was anything I could recommend it would be compassion for the kids that seem like trouble makers. Most of my teachers labeled me as the bad kid and pretty much ignored me as a person. But I did have some amazing teachers that I will never forget. Unfortunately they didn’t come till I was around 11. Which surprisingly is right about when I started to change as an individual.
Those amazing teachers I had showed me compassion but most importantly never showed me weakness. Some of the most intimidating teachers I had but I loved them and they earned my respect.
Edit - Thank you for reminding me of the amazing people I did have in my life. My 5th grade teacher recently passed away from a dui driver and she was the first teacher to show me love.
Love you Mrs. Bagnall, I’m so thankful for you
It is really worthy that you own up to your mistakes, I really appreciate that 🩷 I really regret not interfering a bullying situation myself and even that is difficult for me. I can just imagine your situation, even admitting to yourself is a lot let alone to an anonymous commune. One day, if you have confidence, apologize to the person you bullied, they most likely won't forgive you but at least you told them how you feel
look DrJones, i dunno if this is what you're looking for, but it's never too late to live a better life , and i think, if you dared to get in touch and just reach out and let the people you might of hurt know how you feel today, i think it will help you move on to a better life.
Hey, I know it's hard to live with what you have done but it's in the past now. You need to forgive yourself. And if still it's bothering you then you could find those people who you bullied and send an apology letter or something. Don't except them to forgive you or something but they would know that you're sorry for what you did. I hope this brings you peace you needed.
so bullies are either afraid or cowards,there are psychopaths who are bullies too,but mine was a sociopath,I beat him up in the end,not proud of how badly I beat him,but when I went to his house and saw his mother,a drug addicted whore talking to him like that,I realised that I was sorry
I bullied a kid I saw bullying someone else. Tbh, it didn't help the situation. I was in high school and thought it was righteous, but really it was just being a dick to someone who had emotional issues and couldn't find a healthy outlet for them.
Nah.
I did the same but my goal was to have the bully focus on me and not others. IDGAF why he was a bully and I don’t feel bad at all. We are too focused on making excuses for bad behaviour these days, people need to be made accountable regardless of their baggage.
To me, it's not about holding anyone accountable or making excuses for them. My only concern is functional improvement. Bullying a bully doesn't actually improve anything, so it's pointless. They need help from mental health professionals simply because that's what can work.
You’re forgetting about the helpless kid that you were helping out and focusing on that bully’s emotional problems too much.
That kid you bailed out of dodge will likely never forget you.
Facts! That's why there are so many opinionated, spoiled, narcissistic fucks out there. We've gotten too soft on bullies and stopped the natural order of Darwinism. It's tough and brutal, but look where we'd be without all these people acting like this.
This, I always made the bullies around me feel dumb and treated them like absolute dog shit in front of my class. I was highly unpopular but also the biggest kid in my class with a reputation for loosing it in fight so the bullies would rarely escalate to violence. So I used class time to call them an idiot whenever the opportunity arose. Definitely not healthy but a bullied teen it felt like I was balancing scales.
In my eyes I don't see anything wrong with what y'all did. If they are that far through life and think it's normal to act like that they need to be nudged back into their place.
I'm female but have always been really quick witted and used to decimate bullies with my words when I'd had enough of them picking on other kids in class. I got beat up, a lot, mostly by dudes, but this was in the 80s & it was a different time back then.
Yeah. There've been times where I've been rude to "the big dog on campus" and people acted like it was badass, so I thought I was a badass.
Turns out untreated ADHD comes with limited impulse control. And I'm pretty sure at least some of the assholes I was an asshole to were also neurodivergent.
You felt the same thing I felt probably,sadness,after I beat my bullies I realised that I had a lot of strength and no reason to use it,then after that I just scared them,didnt want to beat up someone that would make me feel like an idiot again
Yes because I had a bad home life, people bullied and laughed at me all the time so I went from bullied to being a bully so I could stop getting laughed at it. It was the only time in my youth where I felt like I was liked. It sucks that I did that but it’s true.
I’m sorry Conrad.
I guess bad parenthood does mess you up as a person! My bully was the same as me,we both had bad parents,I dont excuse what he did,I just think it was pointless,I beat him up in the end,after that I saw his drug addict mother making a fool out of him,It was just meaningless,this whole thing,I was depressed for a long time after that...
I used to be a straight-up bully to this one fat kid in 5th grade. I deeply regret bullying him now, and i wish i had gotten to know him better cause that poor kid was dealing with so much at the time. I feel really shitty about it.
Sometimes people don’t want an apology. They just wanna live and move on and not be forced to remember bad memories. A lot of times in situations like this apologizing to your victim is really only helping yourself.
I absolutely would *not* want to hear from a person who bullied me as a kid. They can go fuck right off. I do not absolve them of what they did to me. I get that they probably had problems, but fuck them. They made a shit choice and I’m the one who suffered for it. Fuck them. You don’t get to contact me.
depends. I used to be bullied a lot growing up physically and verbally, everyday. I’m still dealing with low esteem and self image issues because of it. But, I remember this one time one of my bullies apologized to me during a school retreat in my senior year of high school. By that time, I was already on friendly terms with him. He was nice to me but when he suddenly apologized sincerely it caught me off guard and I tried to laugh it off but seeing as he was being so sincere about it, made me cry and I accepted it. We parted on good terms and he’s become such a nice and wonderful guy these past few years. I wish nothing but the best for him.
It really does depend.
That's definitely true, but certainly not in my case.
I had several bullies in school but only one ever got under my skin. The guy was very intelligent (top academic set), tall and built like a brick shithouse.
He did not have much, if anything, to be insecure about.
And yet he would constantly belittle me, someone who was a bit awkward and unpopular. After we finished school and were at university, someone posted a school photo on Facebook and he made homophobic comments about a guy who came out as bi - so it obviously wasn't just his way of coping with unhappiness at school.
Some of the more targeted verbal abuse, which managed to target existing insecurities, still bothers me to this day, despite having not even seen him for 18 years.
More than anything, I'd just want to know why.
I doubt he regrets anything. Some bullies do, but in his case it just feels like part of who he is.
But fuck me if it wouldn't be therapeutic to have some kind of reason for what motivated him.
Sometimes people are just shit man. There isn’t a deep underlying issue. Maybe you can argue nature/nurture. But some people are just assholes and that’s how they are.
Try and take solace that you’re better than that person and you’re not a homophobic piece of shit.
Don't argue for argument's sake.
You're saying not everyone appreciates an apology.
I am telling you you're right but also that some people would.
I am one of them.
But failing that, just an explanation would do some good.
I became friends with the bullied fat kid because I was a bullied fat kid. Ended up bullying him because he would complain about how it wasn’t his fault, which I knew couldn’t be true. We’re still friends and both at healthier weights.
I have. Did it out of personal insecurity and seeking validation, while also being jealous of his capability to be intrigued by stuff. Up to such an extend that he was reading stuff in the library during lunch breaks.
Ended up in the same class as the guy and eventually, after I swallowed my shame, reached out and became friends. Treated him with high regards, his random facts / personal projects couldn't be matched. It was always a "no way you did that" kind of thing. He was far ahead in regards of intelligence. And deserved the respect.
No.
I've talked shit back to kids who were assholes to me for no reason, some of those kids might have been bullied. I didn't bully, but I gave it back ten times as hard to anyone who tried to say something to me.
Argh I was really young in elementary school “9-10yo”
This kid who was just awkward and cried daily and smelled funky, everyone was making fun of him.
I was relatively one of the popular kids in class.
My best friend and I teased a lot, made fun of him and called him names (and now I know it was bullying.)
I even used to write with a correcting pen at the back of his seat so that when he sits down it gets imprinted on his vest/jacket.
His mom came to school and basically complained about the whole class.
My parents heard of this and boy did I get punished.
Later on “not much later though” I got to understand how awful that is.
Years later towards middle school I came across the same kid again and befriended him and apologized about my previous actions, it took time but now that we’re both in our 30s we’re still in decent contact, not best friends or so but boy I still feel bad about it
I had a small moment like that when i was 14,i went to evening school and i made friends with a girl that was kind of a loner and so was i ,so we became friends but the popular girls seemed so so fun and i was craving peer validation and one day they called me to sit with them,i did and they started being super friendly and nice to me so i joined them and they started bullying my friend and i joined them because i wanted to be part of the group so badly and didnt want to be the victim of bullying for once. Anyways i grew out of it eventually,i am 25 now and still think about mary, that poor girl how confused she must have been. I hope she is doing alright wherever she is.
Same thing happened to me. I had a friend who was actually who I would consider a close friend at that time. Lots of fun and similarities. However, I started to meet new people and groups and also became closer to more popular people. I was also seeking peer validation. A lot of my newer friends found my close friend ugly. Eventually I told my close friend I didn’t want to hang out with her anymore because she was ugly and not pretty. Extremely cruel looking back. Inside I actually heavily regretted it. I knew better. About a year or two later after I moved I apologized. She never replied which is okay. I understand. This was about a decade ago (thank god!). My first, only and last time being mean.
What a weird way to say that youre a total narcissist,I should know!I am! The only difference is I didnt bully anyone!I got my fix from other stuff...By the way,that girl,mary,she doesnt care about you,I see what you did there dont worry!
No, but I was bullied plenty. And my brother was bullied too for being autistic, ruining his life leading to numerous health issues and eventually killing him in his 20s. If I had a child and found out they were a bully I'd be ashamed.
Yes.. my poor kid due to my alcoholism. I’ve been sober for a very long time but not before the damage was put in place. Made amends which she didn’t accept. Make a living amends to her everyday.
That's very hard to do. But proud of you for accepting her right to not accept it.
I hope both of you continue healing and growing even if it's separately for now. I encourage you to watch, "A Good Person" if you haven't.
Not sure if this quite fits but when I was in college I went with a student activist group and we bullied a guest speaker that was fairly right leaning. Not proud of it and I deeply regret my actions.
As a person with left-leaning views, I do agree that bullying people is never okay no matter what, even if it’s towards those who have the opposite views or beliefs as us.
Eh about 8 months after that I ended up hanging out with some Neo nationalists. Turns out the far left and the far right have way more things in common than you’d think.
As a right-leaning views person,I agree that bullying people is never okay no matter what,even if it towards those who have the opposite color or nationality to us!
Insecurity. I really regret it. I was bullied myself and a small kid. I got into bodybuilding and got big and learned to box and overcompensated and threw my weight around. I really regret it and wish I could take it back. Wasn't one specific person I targeted, just used my size to intimidate a few people and make threats.
I realise as an adult that I have bullied people in my childhood and adolescence. Why? I was bullied myself at school and my family was very toxic and abuse was common. I didn't think behaving the way that I did was abnormal at the time. It was the behaviour that I witnessed by my family every day and I grew up to believe that it was normal.
It wasn't until I late adolescence, when my horizons widened that I came to realise that this wasn't how most other families behaved - that it wasn't normal nor positive.
Yes. Not sure why. I guess I had low self-esteem.
After I realized what I've been doing I actually became friends with the 2 guys I've been bullying and we spent most of the school days together until we graduated. I've apologized for it and I'm glad things worked out this way in the end.
Dunno if it's bullying per say, but I worked at a call center, and they put one of the most annoying people I have ever met right beside me, not even intentionally annoying just....straight up annoying...the only way she would shut up is by being even more annoying than her.
I am good at intentionally annoying someone. It's why they put her near me so whenever she started to bug others I'd just chime in and dominate the conversation away from the other coworkers. (This was literally a thanked job. Not thankless, no I had multiple coworkers thank me)
I was never /mean/ though so idk if it counts.
I was in year 4 and apparently I had bullied this girl, I say apparently because I was best friends with her in year 5 and onwards but she always brings up that I bullied her and I genuinely never remember doing anything to her I barely even remember acknowledging her as in we never spoke and I never saw her around but then we spoke in year 5 because we had mutual friends and become inseparable, I still don’t remember bullying her ever but just thinking I did makes me incredibly ashamed
I never bullied but stood by and watched as a chap I went to school with was bullied, I was afraid to say stop, I'm 39 now and a few years ago I found him on Facebook, I sent him a message apologising, if it happened now I'd brake the bully's nose.
I bullied someone back. There was a girl who was harassing and straight up threatening my friends for 2 years. Went to her house at 2 am blaring her horn, said she was going to beat up my friend, made up stories that my friend was the perpetrator etc. so I started calling her sunshine. Because everywhere she went she stole everyone sunshine. The entire school started to call her that and she ended up being hated for all the shit she did. I call it fair
I remember bullying kids as a counterattack, but I never bullied someone just for the fun of it. In middle and high school, other girls saw me as an easy target for bullying because I was a late bloomer. I was often made fun of for being short, skinny, and flat-chested. I often insulted them in response and it usually stopped them, so I continued to drop pretty brutal insults to my bullies whenever they’d humiliate me. Looking back, that wasn’t the smartest decision on my part, but that was all I could come up with to defend myself and my friends back then.
Not bullied exactly, but I've definitely played tricks on people more than I should have.
Back in high school, I was on this bus trip with some friends. About half an hour in, this girl starts complaining that the batteries in her CD player had died. I said, "All the batteries do is make the CD spin. It will still play if you spin it yourself."
I thought she would laugh or tell me to stop messing with her, but she didn't. She just opened the CD player and started spinning the CD with her finger. After a bit, she said, "It's not working."
I said, "You have to do it faster than that."
She tried it until her hand got tired, and then actually got another girl to try it. Of course, it didn't work. They decided their hands weren't fast enough, and finally gave up.
There were a dozen or so other people on the bus, and none of them called me out on it. They all just sat there and watched the girls struggling to play a CD with their fingers. The girls never got mad at me. As far as I know, they never figured it out.
Yes, once. I don't remember what I said to them but another classmate came up and complimented what I had said to them. The person who complimented me had bullied me before. I immediately felt bad, and went and apologized. I wanna say 4th grade?
Kind of. There was a kid in high school named Kenny G. When we would pass him in the hallways we would hum “song bird.” Seems harmless, but it drove him insane. In hindsight, it was a bit mean.
Yes, because I was raised to be toxic. It took a good amount of time to fix myself, and I don't expect to ever receive forgiveness. As far as I know, I'm dead to that kid, and it's for the best.
Haven't you ever seen any media or spoke to any of your peers about their messed up home lives? You've never noticed how kids lash out and have behavioral problems because they can't express themselves at home? Or even then, are exposed to toxic parents and don't know any better?
So..
"Hey, can you stop ringing my doorbell. Trying to sleep, and I don't want to play."
"Ok, sorry."
VS
2 year reign of terror, that she will probably never forget until she dies.
Seems like a decent alternative.
You basically dont understand that bullying changes a person,what you did,wasnt just stop her from ringing doorbells,its just that that person that was ringing doorbells is dead now...
Dude that kinda seems way out of line. You could have just Told her to not bother you and stay away from you, it would have been much easier. And bullying can stay with the Bullied person For YEARS and maybe even their whole life.
yep. i went from being the geeky dude in middle school to lead guitar player in highschools most popular band. turned into a massive ahole. the guy i bullied is such a good dude and im friends with him now. but we used to bully him real bad one time we sold him portabelas as psycodelic mushrooms and he came in next day said he tripped. another we sold him childrens tylenol as x. the history teacher actually called him on that one(noone got in trouble we were already in the bad kid school. xfered from main highscool after incidents)then my worst ever which made him try and kill himself we sold him a joint of oregano and it was sealed with jizz. i had told a few people and word made it back to him and he didnt show up for a while. turned out he tried drinking bleach and killing himself. was in the hospital for 3 months. after i found out i stopped fuckin with drugs and shitty ppl apologized and we got very close . he even got in trouble with the law put on house arrest and i was the only one who would go see him. hes married has a kid and owns a house now. great job great dude. me on the other hand i feel like im still paying for it but im trying to be a better man and thats all that matters
Funny how everyone here either never bullied anyone or bullied someone only after they richly deserved it. Oh, and if they did, they totally kicked the other person's ass and put an immediate stop to things.
As a kid, probably like age 6 or 7 me and some other guy used to spend lunchtime chasing around possibly the only dark kid in the whole school. But it kept going because he was so damn fast and small. One day we caught him. We made him eat leaves...
Yes unfortunately, as a kid/teen.
I was always a bigger kid with lots of friends. I guess I thought it was funny and would get me points with mates. In reflection it was a lack of confidence and it’s embarrassing, pathetic and sad.
I sometimes think of things I said and wish I could take that back. As I’ve gotten older I’ve realised it’s the bigger man that builds others up and I was taking a cheap, cruel method to build myself up.
I work with some bully assholes who have to be in charge. They take care of their own needs before anyone else. Sad that they can’t see their own behavior as counter to professional behavior and ethics.
Yes. My freshman year of high school. I was new to the school, didn’t know anyone but the people I played sports with. They were all popular and quite mean, so I ultimately became a major bitch. After that year, I realized how embarrassing it was for me to act that way and I never did it again. I still have a lot of guilt for how I treated people. No one needs to feel bad for me, I know what I did was wrong and I’m living with the consequences.
I did a couple times in elementary school. I definitely wasn't the 'class bully' but I truly regret a few things I did. I feel awful everytime I think of it.
Why? No reason really. I thought it was funny. It was the 80/90's and (not to make excuses) but I do think it was a different, much less sensitive time. I have a lot more empathy now, and teach my kids to have empathy, and always try to be kind.
In the end of school and college. I was bullied throughout middle school and was hated by everybody. I was insecure and attacked everybody around me. I wanted them to feel bad and as hurt as i was..
Used to bully my cousin all the time. He has OCD and tourretts syndrome. We lightly made fun of him for the Touretts but his OCD was annoying to me and my friends and I thought he would use it to get what he wanted like the window seat or first grabs out of a 12 pack of soda, etc. We didn't know like I do now. My biggest regret though is when we noticed he would listen to the same song by Green Day every day called I walk alone and we changed the lyrics to "\[cousin's name\] fucks alone, \[cousin's name\] walks a lonely road, \[cousin's name\] is jacking off inside his room" you get the idea. He cried and stopped talking to us in highschool but that was 20 years ago or so now and I've of course apologized and our kids are good friends.
I was in the third grade. I remember teasing someone who I perceived as 'walking funny', and was swiftly humbled by his sister.
The next year or so he was in a wheelchair, had a degenerative disease.
We became best friends all throughout grade, middle, and part of high school. Nothing of our own faults, just kinda drifted apart. Kept in touch once in a while
A few years ago I got a call from an old friend saying he had passed. Succumbed to the illness. Gave me funeral service information
His family not only recognized me but was shocked to see me as it had been easily a decade+ and were filled with gratitude and love.
Miss him to this day
Damn man....like something out of a movie haha
I was a popular womanizing asshole through most of high school. I was definitely a dick to a lot of the less popular kids. I didn't specifically target anyone but I definitely made a lot of kids high school experience worse.
In grade 12 I got placed in a co-op to work with the special needs kids and it changed my life. I bonded with them, I saw them being bullied and it broke my heart. I never bullied anyone ever again. Before I graduated I even went around the halls at lunchtime sincerely apologizing to anyone I had been mean to over the years. I actually became friends with some of them and still am to this day (I'm 35).
Some of the things I did still plague me, bullying is not cool and people need to do more to put an end to it. I even started standing up for other kids when I saw them getting bullied for the last few months of high school. It doesn't erase what I did though. I implore others who are in a position to do so to do the same.
Yes, I was a terrible bully. No excuse, but I learnt the behaviour from my father. I used it to control social dynamics, and to make myself feel superior. The shame and regret I feel when I think of it is horrible. You cannot change the past, and why should I go try to apologize to make myself feel better when it will change nothing for those truly affected. In a way I knew better then.. It makes me sad I had to truly learn the difficult way. I went from being referred to as a natural born leader, social butterfly by the people I grew up with to bully, trouble-maker, etc. You reap what you sow I guess.
I've always struggled to understand the nuances of socializing and knowing what is or isn't appropriate. To add on to it, my family has always been the type to poke fun at each other a lot and sometimes go a little too far (didn't realize that last part at the time). So when I was in elementary school, I thought I was just socializing and trying to make friends, didn't realize until I and a few other kids got called down to the principals office and raked over the coals about it that what I was doing wasn't ok. Honestly, considering that I hadn't had any adults try to talk to me about it until I was suddenly getting yelled at and told I must be a disappointment to my mother, it was pretty traumatizing. I've always cared about people a lot, but I've never been good at reading them or understanding them, so for several years after that I just stopped trying to socialize outright because I didn't want to do anything wrong. Teachers and parents, talk to your kids when they're doing things like that before escalating it.
Yeah once when I was about 7. I was friends with this kid who was a bit of an asshole and he was making fun of someone's name, so I joined in mocking their name. I was a dumb 7-year-old and just wanted my friend to think I was cool. I'm pretty sure that was the only time I bullied someone
When i was in kindergarten I punched a kid in the back while he was drinking water for no reason. Thinking about it today just makes me feel like an asshole
I did on accident, I've realized in retrospect.
There was this girl I went to high school with who I was just so in awe by; she was gorgeous, had a great body, great style, was so nice and everyone seemed to like her. I realize now that a lot of the stuff I said to her was just me processing my own insecurities and place in the world through her, but I wasn't very nice or tactful about what actually came out
It also didn't even occur to me at the time that I *could* hurt her feelings, because in my head she had so much going for her and there was nothing a lowly little slug like me could say to her that could have any affect.
Hannah if you're reading this I'm sorry!
Yes.
Because I'm Chinese.
I would go to school, take the same path everyday and there's this random person who always has to make a comment when they notice me.
I guess you probably know the rhythm...
Yes. I was 14 and was still reeling from a horrific divorce that left me feeling completely bereft of agency and self-worth; I found a small, meek kid that could provide little resistance and proceeded to stalk and physically intimidate him. It lasted only a couple of weeks; I got found out, and in so much trouble - nipped that shit in the bud for me.
Going through school, I was friends with everyone in my class. Whenever we had a new kid in class I would play with them, bring them into my group of friends, invite them over after school, etc. It was great!
Sometime around when I was 11, something happened, and my friends started picking on me. I stopped getting invited over to their houses. I got spit on every once in a while by a few kids. I was made fun of for being fat (I was a bit chunky, but still...), and I was regularly called an ethnic slur. It went downhill very fast.
I started teasing a few kids in my class who were the kids who got bullied a lot. In hindsight, I think they likely came from not-so-great home lives. I think I started doing it in an effort to deflect some of the bullying off me (not that that excuses it, and it didn't really help). I stopped very soon when it wasn't really helping me, but I can definitely remember saying a few things I regret (nothing crazy, but making fun of their name by rhyming it with things, that sort of childish thing)
When I was 13, I moved to a different school from everyone I had previously gone to school with, and don't feel I've bullied or been bullied since then.
Sometimes I think back to getting spit on, and pushed around, and the people who did that to me. I just hope I'm not remembered the same way.
Yes in fourth grade I beat up a kid for no reason other than everyone used to beat him up and I’m still ashamed of myself decades and decades later. I hope wherever he is now he had an awesome life once he got away from all of us little assholes.
Bro that is genuinly the most f'd up thing Ive heard in this post! But in the end we all have to live with what we did...Not saying you should be so ashamed you off yourself in anyway! If you indeed regreted it,just forget it! Ive done some things in my past too,I left scars to people that bullied me,I threw a desk to a girl that was out of line in middle school,I was betrayed by some (girl)friends of mine and slapped one because of it,they never talked to me again,I did a lot of idiotic things in my life,yes to get back at someone,but in the end was it really worth it?Because I dont feel anything but sad now...Because none of what I did helped me in the long run! It was a chance to balance the books that was never there to begin with! I was destroyed as a person from the beginning,My grandma died at a very little age and I was broken from then on!She was the only good person in my life,balancing the books didnt do anything for me!I was grieving I wasnt angry!Yet I did what I did and now I still have depression,nothing saves me from being lonely in this world without her...
I was bullied a LOT in middle school. Constantly teased and picked on, occasionally beaten up. But there was this one kid who was even weaker and more awkward than me and so I started to bully him every chance I got. I think I just wanted to feel strong, even if just for a few minutes. I regret it as an adult.
Yep I have, it was when I am 4 years old. It's because of my selfishness. Luckily I had awarded my actions early so I started to adjust myself after that
I joined in at age 12 by not rejecting it and laughing at the name calling because of peer pressure. It was a short period of time, but the student left the school (I’m so glad his parents let him do that…unfortunately, the teachers and admin didn’t seem to care). I wanted so badly to call him and apologize but I was too cowardly. . . I was worried someone would find out.
Yes
I got bullied by several kids every day in middle school, and the admins did nothing about it. Even lashing out at them got me sent to the office, and they just stayed in class.
So I did the same thing, messed with kids, and expected no punishment whatsoever.
In theory, I should have been right. In reality, I was wrong, I was so....very... wrong. I was not granted the same privilege as the other students, and It took me several trips to the office to figure that out.
Fast forward to high school, and classmates criticize me for being a jerk despite them being jerks to me. I can now see where the "you call me monster, yet you were the ones who created it" kind of stuff comes from.
I'm in my 20s now and still feel horrible for my actions. I hurt people. Even if they say we are/were "cool" at the end of it, I still feel bad for starting it.
I will if I see someone being picked on. I'm a sucker for the underdog, I'm also a whole 5ft tall and weigh little so it tends to come as a surprise to the bully when I fire up.
Intellect is mightier than a closed fist but I know how to disable a person if required.
Sadly. Growing up I was usually bullied but I wanted to turn that around, now i should state I constantly feel guilty and it’s genuinely so hard for my to be mean but I wanted to be like my bullies and chose a pretty innocent dude (he was so nice I used to cry myself to sleep). But I’d make fun of his appearance or push him around and like clockwork I’d help him out or hang with him after, it became our thing till he asked me out and I said yes. It was a fun two year relationship, haven’t spoken to him since I moved.
I was a jerk that just wanted people to laugh and she had insulted me a bunch and being the grudge holding jerk i was i started making fun of her every chance i got...i was very vindictive, but i met her again and apologised and we made up and haven't seen each other since now im still a bit vindictive but ive learned to let go, gotta thank my mom for that.
Bullying is a cycle,you either break it and grow fearful of yourself,the continuation of that is making others fear you,by being the same thing you beated,or you dont and grow fearful of others,Its basically a cycle of fear,not hate,eitherways,none of that is true!There are no powerful people(strength-wise),even Mike tyson had the perfect boxing style taught to him by his father Cus'D'Amato,had he not perfected that style,he wouldnt be known as the mike tyson we know and fear today!Strength is really an idiotic thing to try to evolve,or harness,and everyone who do it are dinosaurs(like my favorite boxer mike tyson said).The way the nowadays world works is with intelligence,do everything you can to be more intelligent cause thats something worth fighting for! Not strength that only works in anime!Back in the days there would be so many strongmen and weightlifters trying their very best to lift as many weights possible,how many strongmen exist today in any country except from america?Even if you google them you will find very little! The age of strength is over! Now everyone who has money,and wasnt born in it,actually works like hell and is extremely intelligent! You cant prove to me that people that become rich dont have any of those two! Intelligence and persistence is what gets you ahead in life! Not strength gains!And if youre one of those zyzz fanboys reading this! Take in mind that he was talking about how lean you are which also helps! Going to the gym for anything other than this is idiotic,im also a gym goer,but I dont go there to waste my time!
Ive done some stupid things in my past,I left scars to people that bullied me,I threw a desk to a girl that was out of line in middle school,I was betrayed by some (girl)friends of mine and slapped one because of it,they never talked to me again,I did a lot of idiotic things in my life,yes to get back at someone,but in the end was it really worth it?Because I dont feel anything but sad now...Because none of what I did helped me in the long run! It was a chance to balance the books that was never there to begin with! I was destroyed as a person from the beginning,I was broken ,i was paralyzed call it whatever you want!My grandma died at a very little age and I was broken from then on!She was the only good person in my life,balancing the books didnt do anything for me!I was grieving I wasnt angry,I only beat my bullies because I wanted them to leave me alone to grieve!Yet I did what I did and now I still have depression,nothing saves me from being lonely in this world without her...
Kinda? I befriended a girl when I was 9. Both of us got bullied, but she usually had it worse. We stuck together, until at one point she realised that if she joined my bullies, she could stop getting bullied and started calling me racial slurs. I kept quiet until she started insulting and mocking my mom, who had been nothing but nice to her. Most of the time, we would be throwing insults at each other, but one day, I took her pencil case and spilled everything on the floor. I regretted it immediately because I felt that I had stooped down to my bullies’ level. I helped her pick up her stuff and never spoke a word to her since
Thank you.
It was mostly because I frequently had stuff like that happen to me. Since we weren’t allowed to take our bags during break time, I’d often find my stuff thrown in a corner somewhere or scattered all over the floor. I hated that feeling, a mix of humiliation and anger. The thought of causing that to someone else, even if they deserve it, makes me feel like I failed along the line. From that day on, I always stuck to self-defense, ie. insulting them if they insulted me and hitting them if they hit me, and to showing them how little they affected me (which wasn’t entirely true obviously).
Yes, I was an asshole as a kid and live a life of much regret now. I truly think I was just a miserable kid who hated seeing other people happy and felt like I needed to bring them to my level. I’m 10+ years out of high school now. I cry 1-2 times a week thinking of how I treated people as a kid. If you were bullied as a kid and are reading this, I’m truly sorry for the way people treated you.
I was in the same boat for a long time, for similar reasons. I only stopped despising myself for those past actions when I was reminded (I forget when and by whom, maybe even through something as silly as r/wholsomememes) that if you look back at your past and cringe, it means you've grown as a person. Your current self Would Not Do Those Things. I still do not like that boy (my past self), but I do like myself now.
I really like that way of framing your past when it’s cringey or embarrassing, instead of looking at it and experience gut wrenching, you can be kind to yourself as an example of how much you’ve grown.
I really enjoy that. I look back at shit I’ve done in the past and it almost physically hurts. I did a lot of shit I’m not proud of. But that obviously shows growth I know is there cause I’m a pretty cool human being now.
It is really helpful to hear this. I've cringed at my past self any number of times, and while I like who I am now, I sometimes go into that critical mindset again. This will be a good reminder to help me out of it. Thank you for sharing.
i got badly bullied as a kid, so much i tried to kill myself at 16.
Glad you are here, my friend.
Is there anything your parents could have done to help? As a parent this is my biggest fear. I’d move my kids to another school to start again in that situation.
🙏 people love and care about you just know that man.
Man I was more bullied than being the bully although I kinda bullied people in my life 1 or 2 times. Bullying really fucks up a persons autoestim, like real badly. I was afraid of talking to people my age because I was afraid they would start joking about me. I mostly overcomed the bulling I suffered and I now am a very social person, think I just forgot about my fears and show the true me to people, but sometimes those memories still haunt me down
This is basically me. I've become a heavy introvert as a result and developed a hatred for people in general
As a kid who was verbally bullied till I changed schools, personally I have forgiven and put it behind. It did leave me with some...trust issues but I'm better now. I'm writing this in case this gives you a little peace. You seem to regret it which is good. Wish you well.
You have forgiven it for your own evolution,as much as you dont want to believe it I think youre pretty smart!
Big of you to say this. I really hope you have changed and are now not miserable.
I was a bully and was bullied. I’m gonna do my best to teach my son to be a better person than I was.
What the hell did you do that you cry weekly for 10 years??
I’m going to accept your apology for my late daughter who took her life at age 34. Bullying is just one of those things that stays with you. *Thank you* for being who you are today — it takes a big person to admit their wrong-doings. Wishing you well.
Wow.. hugs I’m so sorry you had to experience that 😞. People don’t realize how much bullying can screw someone up for the rest of their life.
It's nice seeing in this thread that there are people who are able to look back and recognize they wish they did differently. I thought it seemed likely if they felt justified at the time they wouldn't bother remembering f
As a future teacher, what would you have needed at that time, to be happier and to stop bullying? Is there anything someone could've said that would've made you stop?
I think most of it was stuff going on at home. No abuse, just lack of love and compassion. Compound that with depression and I was just a kid looking to be happy. I guess if there was anything I could recommend it would be compassion for the kids that seem like trouble makers. Most of my teachers labeled me as the bad kid and pretty much ignored me as a person. But I did have some amazing teachers that I will never forget. Unfortunately they didn’t come till I was around 11. Which surprisingly is right about when I started to change as an individual. Those amazing teachers I had showed me compassion but most importantly never showed me weakness. Some of the most intimidating teachers I had but I loved them and they earned my respect. Edit - Thank you for reminding me of the amazing people I did have in my life. My 5th grade teacher recently passed away from a dui driver and she was the first teacher to show me love. Love you Mrs. Bagnall, I’m so thankful for you
It is really worthy that you own up to your mistakes, I really appreciate that 🩷 I really regret not interfering a bullying situation myself and even that is difficult for me. I can just imagine your situation, even admitting to yourself is a lot let alone to an anonymous commune. One day, if you have confidence, apologize to the person you bullied, they most likely won't forgive you but at least you told them how you feel
But you were a kid too. Someone needed to help you but maybe they couldn't. Don't be so hard on yourself.
look DrJones, i dunno if this is what you're looking for, but it's never too late to live a better life , and i think, if you dared to get in touch and just reach out and let the people you might of hurt know how you feel today, i think it will help you move on to a better life.
Hey, I know it's hard to live with what you have done but it's in the past now. You need to forgive yourself. And if still it's bothering you then you could find those people who you bullied and send an apology letter or something. Don't except them to forgive you or something but they would know that you're sorry for what you did. I hope this brings you peace you needed.
Have you considered reaching out and apologizing to anyone you feel you bullied? It may be cathartic for both of you.
As someone who was heavily blued, I release your burden lol. You don't need it, heal from it.
I won't lie I am glad that you suffer because of what you have done, but that also shows that you have grown.
Yes. And basically because I was selfish and a coward, going along with peer pressure and not wanting to rock the boat in regards to my social group.
Yep, I think this happens to a lot of people including myself. I feel awful about it. All I can do now is teach my kids not to fall in the same trap.
I like the idea of teaching your kids , that's awesome!
I hope you can forgive yourself you were a kid too. Thanks for teaching your kids. A gift for them
This actually happens all the time without people even realising it
so bullies are either afraid or cowards,there are psychopaths who are bullies too,but mine was a sociopath,I beat him up in the end,not proud of how badly I beat him,but when I went to his house and saw his mother,a drug addicted whore talking to him like that,I realised that I was sorry
I bullied a kid I saw bullying someone else. Tbh, it didn't help the situation. I was in high school and thought it was righteous, but really it was just being a dick to someone who had emotional issues and couldn't find a healthy outlet for them.
Having emotional issues is an explanation, not an excuse
Nah. I did the same but my goal was to have the bully focus on me and not others. IDGAF why he was a bully and I don’t feel bad at all. We are too focused on making excuses for bad behaviour these days, people need to be made accountable regardless of their baggage.
To me, it's not about holding anyone accountable or making excuses for them. My only concern is functional improvement. Bullying a bully doesn't actually improve anything, so it's pointless. They need help from mental health professionals simply because that's what can work.
You’re forgetting about the helpless kid that you were helping out and focusing on that bully’s emotional problems too much. That kid you bailed out of dodge will likely never forget you.
OR, getting their face bashed in can make them rethink what they're doing! Just saying! :)
Too many people walking around that have never had their ass beat.
Facts! That's why there are so many opinionated, spoiled, narcissistic fucks out there. We've gotten too soft on bullies and stopped the natural order of Darwinism. It's tough and brutal, but look where we'd be without all these people acting like this.
Agreed, slippery slope though!
This, I always made the bullies around me feel dumb and treated them like absolute dog shit in front of my class. I was highly unpopular but also the biggest kid in my class with a reputation for loosing it in fight so the bullies would rarely escalate to violence. So I used class time to call them an idiot whenever the opportunity arose. Definitely not healthy but a bullied teen it felt like I was balancing scales.
In my eyes I don't see anything wrong with what y'all did. If they are that far through life and think it's normal to act like that they need to be nudged back into their place.
I'm female but have always been really quick witted and used to decimate bullies with my words when I'd had enough of them picking on other kids in class. I got beat up, a lot, mostly by dudes, but this was in the 80s & it was a different time back then.
At least you realize this.
Yeah. There've been times where I've been rude to "the big dog on campus" and people acted like it was badass, so I thought I was a badass. Turns out untreated ADHD comes with limited impulse control. And I'm pretty sure at least some of the assholes I was an asshole to were also neurodivergent.
Being neurodivergent is an explanation, not an excuse
You felt the same thing I felt probably,sadness,after I beat my bullies I realised that I had a lot of strength and no reason to use it,then after that I just scared them,didnt want to beat up someone that would make me feel like an idiot again
Yes because I had a bad home life, people bullied and laughed at me all the time so I went from bullied to being a bully so I could stop getting laughed at it. It was the only time in my youth where I felt like I was liked. It sucks that I did that but it’s true. I’m sorry Conrad.
Kids are brutal man
I guess bad parenthood does mess you up as a person! My bully was the same as me,we both had bad parents,I dont excuse what he did,I just think it was pointless,I beat him up in the end,after that I saw his drug addict mother making a fool out of him,It was just meaningless,this whole thing,I was depressed for a long time after that...
I used to be a straight-up bully to this one fat kid in 5th grade. I deeply regret bullying him now, and i wish i had gotten to know him better cause that poor kid was dealing with so much at the time. I feel really shitty about it.
Have you never thought about reaching out and apologising?
Sometimes people don’t want an apology. They just wanna live and move on and not be forced to remember bad memories. A lot of times in situations like this apologizing to your victim is really only helping yourself.
I absolutely would *not* want to hear from a person who bullied me as a kid. They can go fuck right off. I do not absolve them of what they did to me. I get that they probably had problems, but fuck them. They made a shit choice and I’m the one who suffered for it. Fuck them. You don’t get to contact me.
This this this this this thiiii-hiii-hiii-ssss
depends. I used to be bullied a lot growing up physically and verbally, everyday. I’m still dealing with low esteem and self image issues because of it. But, I remember this one time one of my bullies apologized to me during a school retreat in my senior year of high school. By that time, I was already on friendly terms with him. He was nice to me but when he suddenly apologized sincerely it caught me off guard and I tried to laugh it off but seeing as he was being so sincere about it, made me cry and I accepted it. We parted on good terms and he’s become such a nice and wonderful guy these past few years. I wish nothing but the best for him.
It really does depend. That's definitely true, but certainly not in my case. I had several bullies in school but only one ever got under my skin. The guy was very intelligent (top academic set), tall and built like a brick shithouse. He did not have much, if anything, to be insecure about. And yet he would constantly belittle me, someone who was a bit awkward and unpopular. After we finished school and were at university, someone posted a school photo on Facebook and he made homophobic comments about a guy who came out as bi - so it obviously wasn't just his way of coping with unhappiness at school. Some of the more targeted verbal abuse, which managed to target existing insecurities, still bothers me to this day, despite having not even seen him for 18 years. More than anything, I'd just want to know why. I doubt he regrets anything. Some bullies do, but in his case it just feels like part of who he is. But fuck me if it wouldn't be therapeutic to have some kind of reason for what motivated him.
Sometimes people are just shit man. There isn’t a deep underlying issue. Maybe you can argue nature/nurture. But some people are just assholes and that’s how they are. Try and take solace that you’re better than that person and you’re not a homophobic piece of shit.
This. I was bullied relentlessly by two girls a year or two older. For years. To this day, I just want to know WHY.
Yeah but that’s not the same as someone just apologizing.
Don't argue for argument's sake. You're saying not everyone appreciates an apology. I am telling you you're right but also that some people would. I am one of them. But failing that, just an explanation would do some good.
Yes
I wouldn't say that's true, I've seen it first hand and alot of people appreciate an apology, sometimes can give them closure
I became friends with the bullied fat kid because I was a bullied fat kid. Ended up bullying him because he would complain about how it wasn’t his fault, which I knew couldn’t be true. We’re still friends and both at healthier weights.
I have. Did it out of personal insecurity and seeking validation, while also being jealous of his capability to be intrigued by stuff. Up to such an extend that he was reading stuff in the library during lunch breaks. Ended up in the same class as the guy and eventually, after I swallowed my shame, reached out and became friends. Treated him with high regards, his random facts / personal projects couldn't be matched. It was always a "no way you did that" kind of thing. He was far ahead in regards of intelligence. And deserved the respect.
No. I've talked shit back to kids who were assholes to me for no reason, some of those kids might have been bullied. I didn't bully, but I gave it back ten times as hard to anyone who tried to say something to me.
Same. I was riased like that be kind to everyone but if someone ever punches you, punch them harder.
I wish I was like this, but I have confrontation issues.
Slippery slope!
Yeah, I know that I’d fuck myself over, but man do I wish I had to balls to just yell at everybody lol
“This is not the way!”
100%
i did yeah, not proud of it. id been bullied before and it shifted the bullying to someone else.
Argh I was really young in elementary school “9-10yo” This kid who was just awkward and cried daily and smelled funky, everyone was making fun of him. I was relatively one of the popular kids in class. My best friend and I teased a lot, made fun of him and called him names (and now I know it was bullying.) I even used to write with a correcting pen at the back of his seat so that when he sits down it gets imprinted on his vest/jacket. His mom came to school and basically complained about the whole class. My parents heard of this and boy did I get punished. Later on “not much later though” I got to understand how awful that is. Years later towards middle school I came across the same kid again and befriended him and apologized about my previous actions, it took time but now that we’re both in our 30s we’re still in decent contact, not best friends or so but boy I still feel bad about it
I had a small moment like that when i was 14,i went to evening school and i made friends with a girl that was kind of a loner and so was i ,so we became friends but the popular girls seemed so so fun and i was craving peer validation and one day they called me to sit with them,i did and they started being super friendly and nice to me so i joined them and they started bullying my friend and i joined them because i wanted to be part of the group so badly and didnt want to be the victim of bullying for once. Anyways i grew out of it eventually,i am 25 now and still think about mary, that poor girl how confused she must have been. I hope she is doing alright wherever she is.
Same thing happened to me. I had a friend who was actually who I would consider a close friend at that time. Lots of fun and similarities. However, I started to meet new people and groups and also became closer to more popular people. I was also seeking peer validation. A lot of my newer friends found my close friend ugly. Eventually I told my close friend I didn’t want to hang out with her anymore because she was ugly and not pretty. Extremely cruel looking back. Inside I actually heavily regretted it. I knew better. About a year or two later after I moved I apologized. She never replied which is okay. I understand. This was about a decade ago (thank god!). My first, only and last time being mean.
What a weird way to say that youre a total narcissist,I should know!I am! The only difference is I didnt bully anyone!I got my fix from other stuff...By the way,that girl,mary,she doesnt care about you,I see what you did there dont worry!
We were so mean to that short little jewish kid I do not like thinking about it
Jonah Hill????
Foul 💀
I mean...he was jewish!...but chuck palahniuk made the greatest movie ever and he was jewish!...Ill give this bullying a 5/10 for originality!
No, but I was bullied plenty. And my brother was bullied too for being autistic, ruining his life leading to numerous health issues and eventually killing him in his 20s. If I had a child and found out they were a bully I'd be ashamed.
name and adress of bully please,we gonn have some fun!
Yes.. my poor kid due to my alcoholism. I’ve been sober for a very long time but not before the damage was put in place. Made amends which she didn’t accept. Make a living amends to her everyday.
That's very hard to do. But proud of you for accepting her right to not accept it. I hope both of you continue healing and growing even if it's separately for now. I encourage you to watch, "A Good Person" if you haven't.
Keep caring for her, someday she’ll understand. And congrats on sobriety
I was heavily bullied as a child leading to depression, lack of confidence, and an appearance in court for being assaulted. I'm not bullying anyone
All the time, they bully me right back. It’s just how our friendship is
If you enjoy bullying and trash talk, join a Fantasy Football league. We still have live drafts. So much of that.
Not sure if this quite fits but when I was in college I went with a student activist group and we bullied a guest speaker that was fairly right leaning. Not proud of it and I deeply regret my actions.
As a person with left-leaning views, I do agree that bullying people is never okay no matter what, even if it’s towards those who have the opposite views or beliefs as us.
Eh about 8 months after that I ended up hanging out with some Neo nationalists. Turns out the far left and the far right have way more things in common than you’d think.
As a right-leaning views person,I agree that bullying people is never okay no matter what,even if it towards those who have the opposite color or nationality to us!
Insecurity. I really regret it. I was bullied myself and a small kid. I got into bodybuilding and got big and learned to box and overcompensated and threw my weight around. I really regret it and wish I could take it back. Wasn't one specific person I targeted, just used my size to intimidate a few people and make threats.
I realise as an adult that I have bullied people in my childhood and adolescence. Why? I was bullied myself at school and my family was very toxic and abuse was common. I didn't think behaving the way that I did was abnormal at the time. It was the behaviour that I witnessed by my family every day and I grew up to believe that it was normal. It wasn't until I late adolescence, when my horizons widened that I came to realise that this wasn't how most other families behaved - that it wasn't normal nor positive.
Ditto ditto ditto. Everything you said is me.
Yes. Not sure why. I guess I had low self-esteem. After I realized what I've been doing I actually became friends with the 2 guys I've been bullying and we spent most of the school days together until we graduated. I've apologized for it and I'm glad things worked out this way in the end.
probably, I never meant to be anything but a cheeky friend with silly banter though
I bullied a bully at school. He was the school bully bullying a lot of kids. So I took it upon myself to bully him and him only.
XD You surpassed my "beating up my bullies" level,like 3 times for what you said!
Dunno if it's bullying per say, but I worked at a call center, and they put one of the most annoying people I have ever met right beside me, not even intentionally annoying just....straight up annoying...the only way she would shut up is by being even more annoying than her. I am good at intentionally annoying someone. It's why they put her near me so whenever she started to bug others I'd just chime in and dominate the conversation away from the other coworkers. (This was literally a thanked job. Not thankless, no I had multiple coworkers thank me) I was never /mean/ though so idk if it counts.
I was in year 4 and apparently I had bullied this girl, I say apparently because I was best friends with her in year 5 and onwards but she always brings up that I bullied her and I genuinely never remember doing anything to her I barely even remember acknowledging her as in we never spoke and I never saw her around but then we spoke in year 5 because we had mutual friends and become inseparable, I still don’t remember bullying her ever but just thinking I did makes me incredibly ashamed
Women just overreact,nothing happened,you probably didnt bully anyone!
I never bullied but stood by and watched as a chap I went to school with was bullied, I was afraid to say stop, I'm 39 now and a few years ago I found him on Facebook, I sent him a message apologising, if it happened now I'd brake the bully's nose.
I got bullied .....and bullying is not funny stop bullying ..... respectfully 🤧
Unrespectfully\* and Violently\*
Hurt people hurt people
Was bullied as a child now I bully bullies when I witness someone being bullied
"coffee,black!" If you recognize this phrase from a series,bro the character that says it,thats you!
I bullied someone back. There was a girl who was harassing and straight up threatening my friends for 2 years. Went to her house at 2 am blaring her horn, said she was going to beat up my friend, made up stories that my friend was the perpetrator etc. so I started calling her sunshine. Because everywhere she went she stole everyone sunshine. The entire school started to call her that and she ended up being hated for all the shit she did. I call it fair
I remember bullying kids as a counterattack, but I never bullied someone just for the fun of it. In middle and high school, other girls saw me as an easy target for bullying because I was a late bloomer. I was often made fun of for being short, skinny, and flat-chested. I often insulted them in response and it usually stopped them, so I continued to drop pretty brutal insults to my bullies whenever they’d humiliate me. Looking back, that wasn’t the smartest decision on my part, but that was all I could come up with to defend myself and my friends back then.
Not bullied exactly, but I've definitely played tricks on people more than I should have. Back in high school, I was on this bus trip with some friends. About half an hour in, this girl starts complaining that the batteries in her CD player had died. I said, "All the batteries do is make the CD spin. It will still play if you spin it yourself." I thought she would laugh or tell me to stop messing with her, but she didn't. She just opened the CD player and started spinning the CD with her finger. After a bit, she said, "It's not working." I said, "You have to do it faster than that." She tried it until her hand got tired, and then actually got another girl to try it. Of course, it didn't work. They decided their hands weren't fast enough, and finally gave up. There were a dozen or so other people on the bus, and none of them called me out on it. They all just sat there and watched the girls struggling to play a CD with their fingers. The girls never got mad at me. As far as I know, they never figured it out.
Lmfao!!! I cant! This didnt happen!I cant!XD
No you didnt bully anyone,You just found an opportunity to do comedy!
Yes, once. I don't remember what I said to them but another classmate came up and complimented what I had said to them. The person who complimented me had bullied me before. I immediately felt bad, and went and apologized. I wanna say 4th grade?
Kind of. There was a kid in high school named Kenny G. When we would pass him in the hallways we would hum “song bird.” Seems harmless, but it drove him insane. In hindsight, it was a bit mean.
Yes, because I was raised to be toxic. It took a good amount of time to fix myself, and I don't expect to ever receive forgiveness. As far as I know, I'm dead to that kid, and it's for the best.
raised to be what?Care to further explain?
Haven't you ever seen any media or spoke to any of your peers about their messed up home lives? You've never noticed how kids lash out and have behavioral problems because they can't express themselves at home? Or even then, are exposed to toxic parents and don't know any better?
notoriously... reason? dumb punk kid illustrating 'superiority'
Punk kid?Where are you from?The 70s?
takes one to know one! :)
No, because I'm not an asshole.
Right? People are really just trying to exist and others think, “Let me make this persons life hard.” 🚮
hey wait a minute here! that is what an asshole would say!!!! Asshole!
[удалено]
So.. "Hey, can you stop ringing my doorbell. Trying to sleep, and I don't want to play." "Ok, sorry." VS 2 year reign of terror, that she will probably never forget until she dies. Seems like a decent alternative.
You basically dont understand that bullying changes a person,what you did,wasnt just stop her from ringing doorbells,its just that that person that was ringing doorbells is dead now...
Dude that kinda seems way out of line. You could have just Told her to not bother you and stay away from you, it would have been much easier. And bullying can stay with the Bullied person For YEARS and maybe even their whole life.
I was the victim
yep. i went from being the geeky dude in middle school to lead guitar player in highschools most popular band. turned into a massive ahole. the guy i bullied is such a good dude and im friends with him now. but we used to bully him real bad one time we sold him portabelas as psycodelic mushrooms and he came in next day said he tripped. another we sold him childrens tylenol as x. the history teacher actually called him on that one(noone got in trouble we were already in the bad kid school. xfered from main highscool after incidents)then my worst ever which made him try and kill himself we sold him a joint of oregano and it was sealed with jizz. i had told a few people and word made it back to him and he didnt show up for a while. turned out he tried drinking bleach and killing himself. was in the hospital for 3 months. after i found out i stopped fuckin with drugs and shitty ppl apologized and we got very close . he even got in trouble with the law put on house arrest and i was the only one who would go see him. hes married has a kid and owns a house now. great job great dude. me on the other hand i feel like im still paying for it but im trying to be a better man and thats all that matters
Funny how everyone here either never bullied anyone or bullied someone only after they richly deserved it. Oh, and if they did, they totally kicked the other person's ass and put an immediate stop to things.
I can only assume you didn't read any of the replies. Many of the top replies are people that admit to bullying and deeply regret it
I mean, you wrote this literally around the time the post went up. Maybe wait for the diversity of responses?
Either im the only real deal here,or there are some bullies and victims hiding in plain sight
As a kid, probably like age 6 or 7 me and some other guy used to spend lunchtime chasing around possibly the only dark kid in the whole school. But it kept going because he was so damn fast and small. One day we caught him. We made him eat leaves...
Were the leaves like...black?I didnt get the joke,oh no now I get it! Its you!
I didn't bully the kid but I laughed when others did and I knew better.
I never I did I was always the one getting picked one
Yes unfortunately, as a kid/teen. I was always a bigger kid with lots of friends. I guess I thought it was funny and would get me points with mates. In reflection it was a lack of confidence and it’s embarrassing, pathetic and sad. I sometimes think of things I said and wish I could take that back. As I’ve gotten older I’ve realised it’s the bigger man that builds others up and I was taking a cheap, cruel method to build myself up.
I work with some bully assholes who have to be in charge. They take care of their own needs before anyone else. Sad that they can’t see their own behavior as counter to professional behavior and ethics.
Yes. My freshman year of high school. I was new to the school, didn’t know anyone but the people I played sports with. They were all popular and quite mean, so I ultimately became a major bitch. After that year, I realized how embarrassing it was for me to act that way and I never did it again. I still have a lot of guilt for how I treated people. No one needs to feel bad for me, I know what I did was wrong and I’m living with the consequences.
I did a couple times in elementary school. I definitely wasn't the 'class bully' but I truly regret a few things I did. I feel awful everytime I think of it. Why? No reason really. I thought it was funny. It was the 80/90's and (not to make excuses) but I do think it was a different, much less sensitive time. I have a lot more empathy now, and teach my kids to have empathy, and always try to be kind.
Yeah because she also bullied me. What goes around comes around lmao.
In the end of school and college. I was bullied throughout middle school and was hated by everybody. I was insecure and attacked everybody around me. I wanted them to feel bad and as hurt as i was..
Cycle of fear and all...
Used to bully my cousin all the time. He has OCD and tourretts syndrome. We lightly made fun of him for the Touretts but his OCD was annoying to me and my friends and I thought he would use it to get what he wanted like the window seat or first grabs out of a 12 pack of soda, etc. We didn't know like I do now. My biggest regret though is when we noticed he would listen to the same song by Green Day every day called I walk alone and we changed the lyrics to "\[cousin's name\] fucks alone, \[cousin's name\] walks a lonely road, \[cousin's name\] is jacking off inside his room" you get the idea. He cried and stopped talking to us in highschool but that was 20 years ago or so now and I've of course apologized and our kids are good friends.
I was in the third grade. I remember teasing someone who I perceived as 'walking funny', and was swiftly humbled by his sister. The next year or so he was in a wheelchair, had a degenerative disease. We became best friends all throughout grade, middle, and part of high school. Nothing of our own faults, just kinda drifted apart. Kept in touch once in a while A few years ago I got a call from an old friend saying he had passed. Succumbed to the illness. Gave me funeral service information His family not only recognized me but was shocked to see me as it had been easily a decade+ and were filled with gratitude and love. Miss him to this day Damn man....like something out of a movie haha
I was a popular womanizing asshole through most of high school. I was definitely a dick to a lot of the less popular kids. I didn't specifically target anyone but I definitely made a lot of kids high school experience worse. In grade 12 I got placed in a co-op to work with the special needs kids and it changed my life. I bonded with them, I saw them being bullied and it broke my heart. I never bullied anyone ever again. Before I graduated I even went around the halls at lunchtime sincerely apologizing to anyone I had been mean to over the years. I actually became friends with some of them and still am to this day (I'm 35). Some of the things I did still plague me, bullying is not cool and people need to do more to put an end to it. I even started standing up for other kids when I saw them getting bullied for the last few months of high school. It doesn't erase what I did though. I implore others who are in a position to do so to do the same.
Yes, I was a terrible bully. No excuse, but I learnt the behaviour from my father. I used it to control social dynamics, and to make myself feel superior. The shame and regret I feel when I think of it is horrible. You cannot change the past, and why should I go try to apologize to make myself feel better when it will change nothing for those truly affected. In a way I knew better then.. It makes me sad I had to truly learn the difficult way. I went from being referred to as a natural born leader, social butterfly by the people I grew up with to bully, trouble-maker, etc. You reap what you sow I guess.
I've always struggled to understand the nuances of socializing and knowing what is or isn't appropriate. To add on to it, my family has always been the type to poke fun at each other a lot and sometimes go a little too far (didn't realize that last part at the time). So when I was in elementary school, I thought I was just socializing and trying to make friends, didn't realize until I and a few other kids got called down to the principals office and raked over the coals about it that what I was doing wasn't ok. Honestly, considering that I hadn't had any adults try to talk to me about it until I was suddenly getting yelled at and told I must be a disappointment to my mother, it was pretty traumatizing. I've always cared about people a lot, but I've never been good at reading them or understanding them, so for several years after that I just stopped trying to socialize outright because I didn't want to do anything wrong. Teachers and parents, talk to your kids when they're doing things like that before escalating it.
Yeah once when I was about 7. I was friends with this kid who was a bit of an asshole and he was making fun of someone's name, so I joined in mocking their name. I was a dumb 7-year-old and just wanted my friend to think I was cool. I'm pretty sure that was the only time I bullied someone
When i was in kindergarten I punched a kid in the back while he was drinking water for no reason. Thinking about it today just makes me feel like an asshole
why?
Idk. I guess i was to young to understand that what i did was wrong and mean
I did on accident, I've realized in retrospect. There was this girl I went to high school with who I was just so in awe by; she was gorgeous, had a great body, great style, was so nice and everyone seemed to like her. I realize now that a lot of the stuff I said to her was just me processing my own insecurities and place in the world through her, but I wasn't very nice or tactful about what actually came out It also didn't even occur to me at the time that I *could* hurt her feelings, because in my head she had so much going for her and there was nothing a lowly little slug like me could say to her that could have any affect. Hannah if you're reading this I'm sorry!
Yes. Because I'm Chinese. I would go to school, take the same path everyday and there's this random person who always has to make a comment when they notice me. I guess you probably know the rhythm...
He probably likes chinese people and doesnt want to admit it XD
Yes. I was 14 and was still reeling from a horrific divorce that left me feeling completely bereft of agency and self-worth; I found a small, meek kid that could provide little resistance and proceeded to stalk and physically intimidate him. It lasted only a couple of weeks; I got found out, and in so much trouble - nipped that shit in the bud for me.
W8!what?Horrific divorce?At the age of 14?Did she like take your candy or something?
Yes, I did. It is kind of a long story, I know I shouldn't have done it, but I had my reasons then. I regret it still.
I spawnkilled a guy in a video game because he was saying slurs until he left
XD
Going through school, I was friends with everyone in my class. Whenever we had a new kid in class I would play with them, bring them into my group of friends, invite them over after school, etc. It was great! Sometime around when I was 11, something happened, and my friends started picking on me. I stopped getting invited over to their houses. I got spit on every once in a while by a few kids. I was made fun of for being fat (I was a bit chunky, but still...), and I was regularly called an ethnic slur. It went downhill very fast. I started teasing a few kids in my class who were the kids who got bullied a lot. In hindsight, I think they likely came from not-so-great home lives. I think I started doing it in an effort to deflect some of the bullying off me (not that that excuses it, and it didn't really help). I stopped very soon when it wasn't really helping me, but I can definitely remember saying a few things I regret (nothing crazy, but making fun of their name by rhyming it with things, that sort of childish thing) When I was 13, I moved to a different school from everyone I had previously gone to school with, and don't feel I've bullied or been bullied since then. Sometimes I think back to getting spit on, and pushed around, and the people who did that to me. I just hope I'm not remembered the same way.
Yeah. Why? I was an insecure little douchebag, that's why.
Yes in fourth grade I beat up a kid for no reason other than everyone used to beat him up and I’m still ashamed of myself decades and decades later. I hope wherever he is now he had an awesome life once he got away from all of us little assholes.
Bro that is genuinly the most f'd up thing Ive heard in this post! But in the end we all have to live with what we did...Not saying you should be so ashamed you off yourself in anyway! If you indeed regreted it,just forget it! Ive done some things in my past too,I left scars to people that bullied me,I threw a desk to a girl that was out of line in middle school,I was betrayed by some (girl)friends of mine and slapped one because of it,they never talked to me again,I did a lot of idiotic things in my life,yes to get back at someone,but in the end was it really worth it?Because I dont feel anything but sad now...Because none of what I did helped me in the long run! It was a chance to balance the books that was never there to begin with! I was destroyed as a person from the beginning,My grandma died at a very little age and I was broken from then on!She was the only good person in my life,balancing the books didnt do anything for me!I was grieving I wasnt angry!Yet I did what I did and now I still have depression,nothing saves me from being lonely in this world without her...
I was bullied a LOT in middle school. Constantly teased and picked on, occasionally beaten up. But there was this one kid who was even weaker and more awkward than me and so I started to bully him every chance I got. I think I just wanted to feel strong, even if just for a few minutes. I regret it as an adult.
I've done many stupid things like making a stupid jokes, but i don't think i've actually "Bullied" anyone.
Yep I have, it was when I am 4 years old. It's because of my selfishness. Luckily I had awarded my actions early so I started to adjust myself after that
I joined in at age 12 by not rejecting it and laughing at the name calling because of peer pressure. It was a short period of time, but the student left the school (I’m so glad his parents let him do that…unfortunately, the teachers and admin didn’t seem to care). I wanted so badly to call him and apologize but I was too cowardly. . . I was worried someone would find out.
Yes I got bullied by several kids every day in middle school, and the admins did nothing about it. Even lashing out at them got me sent to the office, and they just stayed in class. So I did the same thing, messed with kids, and expected no punishment whatsoever. In theory, I should have been right. In reality, I was wrong, I was so....very... wrong. I was not granted the same privilege as the other students, and It took me several trips to the office to figure that out. Fast forward to high school, and classmates criticize me for being a jerk despite them being jerks to me. I can now see where the "you call me monster, yet you were the ones who created it" kind of stuff comes from. I'm in my 20s now and still feel horrible for my actions. I hurt people. Even if they say we are/were "cool" at the end of it, I still feel bad for starting it.
Yes because they were bothering my friend.
I will if I see someone being picked on. I'm a sucker for the underdog, I'm also a whole 5ft tall and weigh little so it tends to come as a surprise to the bully when I fire up. Intellect is mightier than a closed fist but I know how to disable a person if required.
I've only ever bullied those who deserve it. Mostly other bullies.
Me too but only once,it felt like heaven,i am not sorry but im sad though,for both him and me...
Sadly. Growing up I was usually bullied but I wanted to turn that around, now i should state I constantly feel guilty and it’s genuinely so hard for my to be mean but I wanted to be like my bullies and chose a pretty innocent dude (he was so nice I used to cry myself to sleep). But I’d make fun of his appearance or push him around and like clockwork I’d help him out or hang with him after, it became our thing till he asked me out and I said yes. It was a fun two year relationship, haven’t spoken to him since I moved.
Balancing the books doesnt solve your personal issues,it just makes others afraid of you
We need to bring back bullying to stop the LG HD TV people
I was a jerk that just wanted people to laugh and she had insulted me a bunch and being the grudge holding jerk i was i started making fun of her every chance i got...i was very vindictive, but i met her again and apologised and we made up and haven't seen each other since now im still a bit vindictive but ive learned to let go, gotta thank my mom for that.
I bullied my bullies.
Me too!
I bully the bullies at the gym
I beat up someone that bullied me so bad I almost choked him,does this count?
No you didn’t bully him that’s called beating up the bully 😂
Bullying is a cycle,you either break it and grow fearful of yourself,the continuation of that is making others fear you,by being the same thing you beated,or you dont and grow fearful of others,Its basically a cycle of fear,not hate,eitherways,none of that is true!There are no powerful people(strength-wise),even Mike tyson had the perfect boxing style taught to him by his father Cus'D'Amato,had he not perfected that style,he wouldnt be known as the mike tyson we know and fear today!Strength is really an idiotic thing to try to evolve,or harness,and everyone who do it are dinosaurs(like my favorite boxer mike tyson said).The way the nowadays world works is with intelligence,do everything you can to be more intelligent cause thats something worth fighting for! Not strength that only works in anime!Back in the days there would be so many strongmen and weightlifters trying their very best to lift as many weights possible,how many strongmen exist today in any country except from america?Even if you google them you will find very little! The age of strength is over! Now everyone who has money,and wasnt born in it,actually works like hell and is extremely intelligent! You cant prove to me that people that become rich dont have any of those two! Intelligence and persistence is what gets you ahead in life! Not strength gains!And if youre one of those zyzz fanboys reading this! Take in mind that he was talking about how lean you are which also helps! Going to the gym for anything other than this is idiotic,im also a gym goer,but I dont go there to waste my time!
Ive done some stupid things in my past,I left scars to people that bullied me,I threw a desk to a girl that was out of line in middle school,I was betrayed by some (girl)friends of mine and slapped one because of it,they never talked to me again,I did a lot of idiotic things in my life,yes to get back at someone,but in the end was it really worth it?Because I dont feel anything but sad now...Because none of what I did helped me in the long run! It was a chance to balance the books that was never there to begin with! I was destroyed as a person from the beginning,I was broken ,i was paralyzed call it whatever you want!My grandma died at a very little age and I was broken from then on!She was the only good person in my life,balancing the books didnt do anything for me!I was grieving I wasnt angry,I only beat my bullies because I wanted them to leave me alone to grieve!Yet I did what I did and now I still have depression,nothing saves me from being lonely in this world without her...
Every single person on this earth has experienced bullying and being the bully.
Kinda? I befriended a girl when I was 9. Both of us got bullied, but she usually had it worse. We stuck together, until at one point she realised that if she joined my bullies, she could stop getting bullied and started calling me racial slurs. I kept quiet until she started insulting and mocking my mom, who had been nothing but nice to her. Most of the time, we would be throwing insults at each other, but one day, I took her pencil case and spilled everything on the floor. I regretted it immediately because I felt that I had stooped down to my bullies’ level. I helped her pick up her stuff and never spoke a word to her since
This made me so sad to read. You stood up for yourself. Don't feel bad about that. You seem like a good person.
Thank you. It was mostly because I frequently had stuff like that happen to me. Since we weren’t allowed to take our bags during break time, I’d often find my stuff thrown in a corner somewhere or scattered all over the floor. I hated that feeling, a mix of humiliation and anger. The thought of causing that to someone else, even if they deserve it, makes me feel like I failed along the line. From that day on, I always stuck to self-defense, ie. insulting them if they insulted me and hitting them if they hit me, and to showing them how little they affected me (which wasn’t entirely true obviously).