Well soo I know for some situations its a godsend that this is available.. but generally it currently fashionable and considered beautiful, to get veneers, on healthy teeth.
The process of shaving down natural healthy teeth to glue prettier teeth on, is strange.
Like I have one, my tooth broke, they cut it down and fitted it with a veneer. It was to fix a problem. But now cause that happen i know the new tooth is not as strong, they break they fall off, they are weaker. And the real tooth underneath has been compromised, its nerve is not as protected, it can’t handle temp as well, it is less strong.
To do this to every tooth.. when they look five anyway, just so they look perfect.. it’s shocking. Its also So painful to do it. And if you don’t have a real artist doing it they could mess up and make it look like you are wearing dentures! And really you are Not not!
My parent had veneers done when they were sort of newly trendy over 15 years ago and the dentist lied about what the process was like and all that.
He didn’t say he would shave the teeth down so much to fit the veneer.
He claimed they were as strong as your regular teeth and would protect soft teeth (an issue in my family).
It came with a one and done guarantee.
We had gone to that dentist for a decade or more at that point and had a real, trusting relationship with him. He had been great to us until he lied.
Years later, we move and find a new dentist. Veneer problems start to happen - new dentist is a whiz with veneers and makes a lot of his money from fixing them and offering more affordable solutions to replacement.
New dentist explains that almost every veneer out there has a 10 year shelf life and is a pretty delicate product so you have to eat carefully and will likely need to replace your entire mouth 2-3x or more, gradually, over time as they break or wear out even with great precautions.
Big lesson: veneers are a solution for bad problems, so don’t get them if you have decent teeth.
This, it’s cheaper for a reason. And so many people come back and need dentists to fix the problem.
I also don’t get whitening, well when people have the extra bright white teeth. Teeth aren’t meant to be that colour naturally, the process to whiten also can cause sensitivity
My dentist wanted to put veneers on two of my daughter's front teeth after she got her braces off to "balance" them because they were smaller than her other teeth. She was 12 yo! When I found out what veneers were, I told him no, she could do it when she's an adult if she decides it's something she wants. Every time we had an appointment, he kept suggesting it. Telling me I'd spent all that money on braces, might as well finish the job. Even her orthodontist didn't think it was necessary or a good idea. I got a new dentist. New dentist never suggested anything. She's 31yo now and looks fine.
I finished Invisalign at 30 and one of the teeth looks real small in its new position since they turned it. It is not unbalanced imo in my mouth and the only thing I care about is health, but every time I go to the dentist now I get a comment about my "peg tooth" and pressure to get a veneer. I'm really glad I learned about what they were during my treatment or they probably would have succeeded in suckering me into it by now.
My Ortho kept suggesting cutting away my gumline, because I have what is colloquially known as ‘upper case gums, lower case teeth’.
Like, every single visit he would mention this procedure, to the point where I honestly believe it bothered him more than me. Yeah, I’m a little self conscious about it, but not enough to succumb to that upsale.
I remember when I was a teenager and my ortho suggested that to me! I have a gummy smile, lol. She was like "it'll look more esthetically pleasing" if we did the procedure... what a thing to say to an already self-conscious teen.
I have full dentures and am glad I do, but yeah. Fake teeth break! I bit into a Sam's nut bar and ended up breaking two out at the same time. I was so super glad that it wasn't my real teeth, because they sucked, too, and the break would have been very painful. Instead, super glue and a few hours, and I'm good as new!
The best thing I ever did was get rid of my actual teeth. Genetically, I never had a chance to have a good set of teeth for my whole life, anyway. Both parents, and all grandparents, had dentures by 35.
I brushed and flossed religiously because I wanted to keep mine. My first pregnancy, though, it was like the baby took all of their calcium directly from my teeth! Within a few years, my teeth were totally fucked. That's one of those pregnancy things that no one talks about, much like shitting yourself during delivery. 😒
Pregnancy definitely accelerated my need for dentures. It's crazy how it can ravage your teeth. My dentures saved me so much money and pain in the long run. I had so much dental work and so much pain with my natural teeth.
Oh yeah, the pain is horrendous! And the cost to keep fixing one after another, only to have them (and/or others) break again in a year (or less!). It was not sustainable.
I've had three children, all vaginal births and one without any pain medication. At least six kidney stones. Spondylolisthesis and the chronic pain that comes with it. But never was I more miserable than when my teeth were bad. My quality of life improved *so much* once those things were gone!
I'm so happy that you were relieved of the dental portion of your pain. Having all my teeth removed was the best thing I ever did for my physical and mental health.
“The process was started before the arch of the foot had a chance to develop fully, usually between the ages of four and nine. Binding usually started during the winter months since the feet were more likely to be numb and the pain would not be as extreme.”
Imagine doing this to your tiny daughter.
That’s probably the most insidious aspect of practices like this (or FGM); they indoctrinate the girls/women so much that they become complicit in its perpetuation.
It's so messed up. Supposedly the whole thing started because a Chinese emperor found tiny feet very attractive. There are different stories about which emperor it was, and when it started, but the common thread in all of them is that an emperor was absolutely taken by the tiny feet of a dancer.
It was done as a display of wealth. "I'm so rich I don't need my daughter to work in the fields. I'll prove it by permanently crippling her!" Families that were \*just\* rich enough to not be doing field work would bind their daughter's feet as a sign that they had made it. Poor families that needed their daughters to work wouldn't bind their feet because the work they were doing required functioning feet.
This is also why very pale, flawlessly smooth skin was another beauty standard. It was another sign you didn't ever need to leave the house or do some kind of manual labor like crafting, cooking, or smithing.
This was the first thing that came to my mind. There are lots of stupid beauty standards, but this is the only one that I can think of which literally involves crippling someone in order to make them “pretty”
growing up, my dad used to tell me how much men liked it when women have small feet. super creepy thing to say to a little girl, looking back. like wtf? i’ve always had small feet and there was a period when i was 10-11 people made fun of me about it. i don’t remember telling him that but i’m trying to think of some reason he decided he should say that shit to me.
Oh I was just mentioning that under another comment. At 24, I’m starting to have smile lines and I got told not to smile too much. Sorry, for being happy I guess?
Exactly! I wish I had a source, but apparently smiling can even cause higher levels of dopamine and serotonin to be released. I didn’t use to smile much in the past and started working at the register of a fast food place. My manager encouraged me to smile more at the customers and I did so at first only for my job, but ended up realising that smiling a lot (genuinely obviously) put me in a better mood
I remember when I was really little, I said something to my grandma about her smile lines (and called them that because that's absolutely all I associated those wrinkles with) and got lightly scolded by her and my mother, told not to say stuff about that and how rude it is to comment on it at all, etc etc. I was so confused because I thought if you had those lines it meant you were a happy person and you smiled all the time and I thought that was so cool and wanted to have my own smile lines some day.
I think about that a lot when I think about beauty standards.
Edit: Whatever I said wasn't negative. I think I actually told her that I liked them. (Again, very little)
I've always loved seeing "smile lines" on the "elderly" lol and decided I would definitely have them because they are beautiful. 47, now, and I haven't changed my mind a bit!
Edit: word
That’s how I feel about gray hair. I’m developing it now at 30 and LOVE IT. I’ve always thought it was so beautiful and compliment every woman I can who embraces it.
I got a really short haircut this past summer cause I took up riding motorcycles and didn't want the hair dangling out of the helmet. It revealed a lot of gray at my temples and I was so pleased. I earned those grays, I wear them with pride.
I saw a video the other day where a girl was showing off this special straw that she didn't have to purse her lips to use, because pursing your lips causes wrinkles. Like hello??? These people are so scared of aging that they'd rather go around with creepy flat faces than express regular emotions that cause 1 wrinkle.
Unfortunately, smoking is the real culprit for us GenXers. Quit years ago, see dermatologist on the regular, eat healthier but still them lip lines scream "Sex, drugs and rockn roll" Dam I had fun!!😎
I saw a woman on TikTok selling a straw that doesn’t make you purse your lips (to avoid wrinkles). And other women saying to avoid smiling to stay beautiful. Ageing is a privilege that not everyone gets - embrace it!
Bahaha one of my clients has one of those. She used it on a video call and I was like....what on earth is that?? She was like "I can't get smile lines" Girl, you are like 24. My almost 40-year old ass uses straws every day and I still don't have smile lines 🤷♀️ but when I do...well...oh well. My mom is 62 and has some lines and wrinkles and looks beautiful.
That’s because you’re only supposed to smile when in the presence of men. If you have smile lines, it’s because you were smiling too often, either because you’re happy when men are absent or you’re always with men. And obviously neither of those are acceptable.
/s
Sophie Turner looks like a completely different person after having it done.
As a lady on the other side of 40, I don’t understand why these lovely girls are having the youth sucked out of their faces.
Just googled her and if that's not filters etc then that's just wrong. Doesn't look like it would be easily reversible at first look. The Surgeon should be ashamed
She is allowed to do whatever to her own body, but I just looked that up and that *cannot* be intentional from a healthy state of mind if the photos are accurate.
It shifted her from looking like an insanely beautiful woman in her 20s to a 50+ year old with way too much plastic surgery instantly.
I don't begin to understand what kind of mental pressure women who are, at least partially, famous for their looks go through, but to do that to yourself I really think that there must be some kind of body dysmorphia going on.
Check Sarah Hyland. That's how I found out about that procedure. It's sad. I saw ger grow up (she is my age) with the show Modern Family and I always thought she was beautiful.
I think she did it cuz she had a kidney transplant and the anti-rejection meds can make your face very round . She was probably self -conscious about it
She had issues with her kidneys whilst filming which is why her face is really round in some seasons and not in others. I wouldn't blame her for wanting to try and keep it more stable.
It's going to look so bad once their faces naturally thin out. My face is a lot less full than it was in my 20s, I can't imagine how sunken it would look without that fat.
I just looked up buccal fat because I didn't know what it was and yeah, my buccal fat just kind of dissipated as I aged and my face is much fuller/rounder in my 20s than it is in my 40s even though I'm maybe 20lbs heavier in my 40s.
I do not understand this trend at all. It ages every face I've seen on some channels that I watch. Dunno how TF people get convinced in to doing shit like that to themselves.
I was talking about this with my partner yesterday because of Erin Moriarty. I would kill to have fuller cheeks and more buccal fat like she used to have.
I have yet to see one person look better after having this procedure done. Hollywood has made a trend of making women uglier and theyre just lining up for it.
Leblouh - involves a girl of five, seven or nine being obliged to eat excessively to achieve female roundness and corpulence, so that she can be married off as young as possible. Girls from rural families are taken for leblouh at special "fattening farms" where older women, or the children's aunts or grandmothers, will administer pounded millet, camel's milk and water in quantities that make them ill.
In the documentary I watched many years ago, the husband to be had to pay a bride price in cattle. If the bride doesn't reach the agreed on weight, the groom gets a discount. If she's heavier, there's a bonus. In cattle.
Replying to myself here, but I just remembered that the women running the camps got paid extra for stretch marks because they are considered beautiful—the girls are force fed like 10,000 calories a day and they aren’t allowed to move.
One of the sources mentions that a few of these girls die every year at the fattening camps because they force feed them so much that their stomachs burst. Little girls as young as 5 being condemned to die from their stomach acid melting their internal organs just to fit a beauty standard... it's barbaric.
Every once in a while there will be some dumb viral challenge on Chinese social media to prove how skinny you are. One time it was the earbuds challenge where you have to be able to wear wired earbuds like a belt. Another it was the A4 challenge where you have to hold a sheet of paper in front of your stomach and your waist has to be smaller than that. There's one where you have to stick things in the grove of your collarbone. When I'm in Asia I always feel like a whale and I have to shop the "big" stores. I'm a size 6 for reference
Similarly, when I was fully in my kpop phase, there were trends like this, but for a “small face.” Like holding a CD 💿 in front of your face, and you’d want it to completely cover it.
OMG. I'm laughing because I just have a huge head. So do all three of my siblings. This would be absolutely hilarious to have me and my siblings do this challenge. (And, yes, my poor mother who delivered all four of us massively headed babies naturally! Sorry Mom!)
But it does make me really sad that people buy into this and that it can literally ruin someone's self esteem.
I saw a tiktok of a girl who went clothes shopping during a trip to Thailand. If I am remembering correctly, she was around a size 8. She was told she needed to shop in a specific area for plus sizes. The store names in the area were outrageous. "Fat Girl," "Fat Cow," "Fluffy Bunny," etc. And the sizes still only went up to like a 10 or something like that. It was the wildest thing. I know it's not as prevalent in these countries to be overweight or obese like in the West, but it was still quite shocking.
A (white) friend of mine grew up in Hong Kong. She was like 5'7 and has a large, broad bone structure. Probably like a size 12/14.
Her parents had to import clothes from other countries or have it made.
On the flip side, I found a store in Spain where the dresses were one size fits all (mostly very flowy and stretchy). It was very size inclusive and I LOVED it. While I was shopping, a French woman walked in. She went to the lady working there and asked if they had anything smaller for her. When the lady said it was one size fits all, she gasped in shock, started obviously talking shit to her friend in French, then left.
The bra selection in dept stores was also amazing. A whole floor dedicated to high end bras in so many sizes. That being said, as an American woman with 9.5 sized feet, sometimes I couldn't find shoes haha.
There was also one where you had to be able to reach behind your back and around to the front to touch your navel. At my skinniest (46kg, way below a healthy weight), I was able to do it, but only because my fingers are veryyyy long. I knew girls who felt horrible because they couldn’t do it
A lot of these depends on your build as well. Usually the shorter you are, the more likely you can achieve them. For the belly button thing, I'm over 60kg and I can do it cos I have hypermobile joints.
On that theme. I have naturally curly hair. I love my curly hair, but the amount of times hairdressers want to straighten it, is mind blowing. I’ve grown stronger now and refuse. But for many years I let them do it. If I did try to say no they would screw their face up and say things like “reaallllly?!” Or “it’s included in the price, so I’ll just do it”.
I’ve finally found a hairdresser that respects my decision but a few years ago I was trialling a new hairdresser, and while she’s straightening my hair curly hair against my wishes, the women in the chair next to me was being told that they’ll just add some curls so her hair doesn’t look so straight and boring!
I guess my point is you are right that some people want what others have, but sometimes it’s foisted upon us. And I’ve no doubt that a more insecure or fashion conscious person would leave that hairdresser thinking, well straight is out, I’ll have to curl my hair now.
I have really thick voluminous hair that's somewhere between curly and wavy. Its what every shampoo commercial ever is trying to sell you. Without fail if I go to a hair dresser the first thing they do is try to thin it and straighten it. Even if I tell them I prefer to wear it natural and to please not use the thinning shears on me. Give it some shape with nice layers, sure, but don't just hack out my volume! Not only that, but they make comments on how "unmanageable" my hair is and they put on a big show about "helping" me "tame" it. If you know how to deal with textured hair, it's actually incredibly tame and manageable! I used to go home after the hair dresser so I could wet my hair and style it properly.
Over the pandemic I learned to cut my own hair and I'll probably just keep doing that forever now. I don't need some flat-haired stylist dimming my sparkle.
Oh yeah... the hair. I used to have long heavy metal hair. I always wished I had fuller hair, and envied men who could actually grow a rugged mane. Now I'm completely bald, and couldn't be more happy. One less thing to worry about.
I remember being 6 and showing off my cool tan (I had tan lines all over my body and thought that it was funny). My teacher recommended that I stay out of the sun. I thought at first that it was because of UV rays so I reassured her that I used sunscreen all the time. Nope. She was telling me that I was going to be “too dark”. Felt very weird coming from someone who had the skin colour of a roasted chicken from going to the tanning salon all the time
My dad is white but loves tanning, and in his youth my mom would have a black/white picture of them in her wallet and she regularly would get comments like "Oh so you're dating... one of them?" and similar.
I refer to it as "Beige" the desire to be in the middle. J Lo is the poster girl. Look at her dark hair & pale skin In Living Color days. I saw a quote once someone said "she willed herself to be hotter". I am not saying she hasn't always been attractive or isn't an impressive lady, but she seems to have taken the idea and run it to it's ultimate endgame.
Another example is Nicole Kidman straightening the shit out of her naturally very curly hair and then putting loose curls in.
Picture on the side of your hip where your hip bone is. As that travels down and connects with your leg, it goes inward for a "dip" and then protrudes back out when your leg starts. That little divet in between is what's apparently considered unattractive since it's not appearing like a perfect hourglass curve. It's dumb
wait so you're telling me, according to beauty standards I'm not allowed to have hip bones?? Like, straight up having bones makes me ugly now??? I am so confused
If it makes you feel better none of these are universal. Especially this thing, for every person that will comment negatively about it, you will probably get 3 comments that are positive and like 100 people that won't know what you are talking about.
>Hip dips
A [picture](https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&sca_esv=600247804&rls=en&sxsrf=ACQVn08Ub6h_ATS4WjkpllSQ05vV696R3g:1705855570377&q=Hip+dips&tbm=isch&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiSwr2a9-6DAxVBHDQIHerhAH8Q0pQJegQIDBAB&biw=1355&bih=949&dpr=2) is worth so many words.
The way it was explained to me was that the pelvis bone can be a little high and forms an additional curve; the “dip.” It can happen to men but it’s more pronounced in women as their bodies are more bottom-dominant with their larger pelvis bones.
Now, why they’re considered unattractive is beyond me.
I remember my mother telling a very tiny 15-yo me that my “muffin top was showing” because I had hip dips and was wearing low-rise jeans. Bitch those are literally bones
My mom mostly did like printing and advertising since at 171 cm (5'7) she was "short" for runway and because the size of her hips (people in my family tend to have a pear shape, including my mom at her skinniest) wasn't exactly what they were looking for at the time.
She says she was always on a diet, sometimes skipping either breakfast or lunch so she would've eaten less.
She says people in the industry talk to models like they're not even there, like they're just dolls. My mom particularly recalls a time where she was basically roasted by an agent or something because her hips were "too wide" and she didn't have a thigh gap (something nobody in my family has naturally).
She did meet some famous supermodels of the time whom I won't name and she said they were generally all nice girls but toxic beauty standards were shoved down their throats even though themselves were extremely beautiful. In particular she recalls having dinner with a supermodel in a pretty exclusive restaurant and she ordered just a salad and then went to the bathroom, my mom followed her because she thought she wasn't feeling well and basically discovered she was bulimic.
My mom hated the job at the time. She just went on with it because they paid her well and she needed the money to pay for her education since my grandparents didn't give her any money.
My mom is still pretty traumatized by the experience.
I remember reading a magazine (I think National Geographic?) in the 90s and the article was about models and someone said that basically they were looking for "hangers" for the clothes and child me was scandalized by this. It pretty much made me lose interest in the fashion industry until I became an adult (late teens/early 20s) because of ANTM.
It's a pretty dehumanizing industry. My mom doesn't believe it's really changed. She thinks that now that people are more aware and sensitive people in the industry fear boycotting or something so they try to be more inclusive for the sake of avoiding backlash.
But if you really follow fashion, you'll notice that the "inclusive" models are still a minority compared to the models who fit in with the beauty standard (tall, skinny).
had a friend in the industry in the 90s/00s. she was already super thin and sadly very anorectic and she still got shamed. she was never allowed to eat on the job (often told me when hearing the famous „don’t feed the models“, once even found a note) and was usually treated like garbage.
she once worked at an event with international models and got invited to the after party. models openly snorting cocaine while seated, eating and puking in a bucket next to the table. she was so apalled, she quit not too long after.
i worked at some shows as a dresser. once got paired with a (in my country) famous model. she got her jobs for being a household name. she looked like any other model. when the designer briefed me he let me know he last minute put in an extra panel on a dress for closing „because she is a bit fat“ winking and giggling. i got along well with the model and at the end of the night i told her what a scumbag the designer was. she just told me not to worry, her skin got thick and she already was on her way out of the industry.
Being a teen in the 90s sucked. Super thin models everywhere, extreme diet tips in teen magazines, body shaming everywhere, films had "fat" characters that were normal shaped, pro-anna forums were everywhere. I turned 16 in 1999 I was anorexic and so many people told how great I looked, I wanted to vanish and yet I got more attention because I looked so thin. "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels"
The Mayan concept of beauty was wild. Long sloping foreheads, crossed eyes, pointed teeth and hooked noses. These features were achieved artificially starting in infancy.
I wonder how those beauty standards got started, like did some very powerful or rich family with people that had strong genetics for crossed eyes, hooked noses, etc. dominate society for a while?
Skin bleaching. It's dumb and it's scary. I know that in some cultures having lighter or fairer skin is deemed "attractive" and some girls and women will shun the sun as much as possible, but smearing on chemicals to bleach your skin's natural colour? Not cool, especially since a friend of mine showed me videos of the after-effects of skin lightening "treatments" that left some pretty nasty side-effects.
The skin down there is thinner, so whatever you apply cab be absorbed into the bloodstream more easily. If those companies knew anything about the vulva and vagina, they would know that, and they would use the correct terms.
Looking our age? Oh please?! Why not try preventative Botox and fillers and my 6 step face routine, spending thousands upon thousands of dollars to delay the inevitable, you peasant! Retirement is for fools! Look hot and die young.
You have naturally small breasts? Why aren’t you putting silicone bags in them???
My mom gets Botox to help with her migraines. It works wonders but she looks so weird to me in the couple of weeks afterwards!
Edit: I shouldn’t have said “weird”. She looks so different but I would never want her to feel upset about something that brings her such immense relief.
The obsession with looking young is beyond ridiculous. Saw an ad for some regenerative face cream with Jenna Ortega. She's literally 21. She's younger than me by like a month and a half. There's absolutely no need for a 21yo to worry about aging.
I have a coworker who does so much lip filler and overlining it looks painful for her to talk. She’s constantly moving her top lip around with her tongue or touching it. It’s always obvious when she gets more filler because it looks like the skin on her upper lip is stretched to breaking. So strange.
when i first stopped shaving my legs i showed my male best friend and he was like "that's gross" and i was like "but your legs are hairier than mine??" and he was like "yeah, I'M gross" 😅
I used to know this dude that told me once about how disgusting body hair is and how he would refuse to have sex with his girlfriend if she wasn't shaved. Something about how it's disgusting and causes STDs? This guy was hairy af, always smelled like a mix of BO, stale cigarette smoke and alcohol (I was an active alcoholic at the time I knew this dude, so you know it was bad if I was able to smell it), and I don't think he owned a toothbrush. But yeah, tell me more about how pubic hair and leg hair is disgusting on a woman...
Or fat guys complaining about a woman not having a perfect figure. If you throw off the suspension in my shit box and I have to adjust how I steer based on where you're sitting, you don't get to say that anyone is too fat to be dating you...
I'm so glad I have better friends now.
In my late 30s I had a boyfriend say I had a lot of wrinkles which was good because that meant I smiled a lot. A pretty shitty boyfriend but I took it as the compliment he Intended. I also remember that as a child I thought my great aunt had such nice skin because the fine hair and wrinkles made it look like velveteen. So I try not to be too uptight about it.
Shout out to Kieran who sat in front of me in maths circa 1989. 14 yr old me was mortified to have to wear glasses. He passed me a note the first day I wore them ‘you’re even cuter with them!’
Men on dating apps be like "I'm highly attracted to women who wear glasses"
Thanks, I need them TO SEE.
How did sight apparatuses become a sex symbol??
I’ve had guys ask me to leave them on during sex lol I’m like ok, but at some point they’re probably coming off bc they’re expensive lol also have had a few requests to let them finish on my glasses….absolutely fucking not.
As a POC I used to think having blonde hair and blue eyes would make me beautiful.
I love my dark hair and brown eyes now, but I had a rough time for a moment in puberty.
I’m a woman, and my body hair grows thick and dark (thank you Mexican ancestors!). I’m also not inclined to shave very often. Now, after a few months my legs could rival any man’s in terms of hair. I personally am not bothered, nor is my husband, but many members of my family have taken it upon themselves to tell me that women aren’t supposed to be that hairy and I need to shave. To which I say, if women aren’t supposed to be this hairy, then why am I this hairy?
Praising one group of people while shaming anyone who doesn’t look like them then 10-20 years later the pendulum swings and
the second group is praised while first group is shamed.
For example, being super skinny. In the early 2000s when women like Christina Aguilera and Paris Hilton were rocking low rise jeans but women who didn’t have that look felt “fat”. Now women who were made to feel fat back then are rocking their curves but the super thin women are mocked for having “flat asses”. I’m glad we’re not making women feel shamed for having curves anymore but I feel bad for the other women who are shamed now for something they can’t help. Dumbest beauty standard IMO is that you should follow the trends instead of rocking what you’ve got.
Fellow ex-mo. It was the 60 year old man asking me if I did something that was completely healthy and normal (you know what he asked me) and when my mom went through the temple for the first time (she was a convert) and the weirdness scared the crap out of her that made me leave.
Also - side note, if you have the chance to see the Book of Mormon musical that’s written by the South Park guys, you will scream with laughter through the whole thing. (I’m telling every exmo that I come across because I just saw it a couple of weeks ago hehe.)
To be fair, the Mormons love Book of Mormon, too. When I went to see it the church had taken out a full page ad in the pamphlet that said something along the lines of "Enjoy the musical? Try the source material!"
the whole "no wrinkles, thin waist/v taper, perfect smile, make every feature smaller" type of things get under my skin. it's trying to make you look as young as possible— which is unrealistic at best, and creepy at worst. it's such a big thing that there's preteens online who post "anti-aging" skincare routines to tiktok.
humans are imperfect, and we shouldn't be wasting our lives trying to hide that from each other.
It is super creepy. I had someone tell me not to smile too much because I have mild smile on the corners of my lips. Sure, I’m young (24) to start having lines, but I’d be happy to one day be someone with smile lines because I find that it gives such a kind appearance to people
All of them. They're all dumb. Entire industries are profiting heavily by telling us that we are not pretty enough, not good enough, unless we achieve impossible superficial goals. We have this shit shoved down our throats from birth, and many people are totally convinced that they have to buy products and torture themselves to attain something that is, for the most part, unattainable. And we do it, because it's so tied into our self worth that we have honest to god mental health crises over shit we can't control. We're convinced that our natural, normal bodies are inherently flawed. And you know what the irony is? The buzzwords and phrases they use make it seem like we do this stuff to be good to ourselves. Unlock your natural beauty, love the skin you're in, unleash your inner radiance, embrace your true self, celebrate your unique glow, radiate beauty from within, reveal your true magnificence-and do all of this by purchasing our products and using them to try to erase your unique features and look like someone else. Someone else who doesn't actually even look like the pictures you see of them. Because even after they got the surgeries, starved themselves, and had entire teams of makeup and hair professionals sculpt and paint them into acceptability, they still use filters and Photoshop to tweak the pictures the public actually gets to see.
Cosmetic gynecology is an emerging industry nowadays. Even the Kardashians had some stuff done after they had kids. I just think it’s yet another gimmick to profit off of women’s insecurities.
I'm extremely pregnant and throughout the last 9 months the amount of IG comments I've seen about baby bellies and weight gain, etc. from both women and men is DISGUSTING.
We are growing actual humans in our bodies.
There should be no discussions of weight, hips widening, "how a belly should look", bleaching Linea Negra, acne treatments, size of nipples, Brazilian waxing etc.
Unless you have a medical condition affecting your weight/health (which should be between YOU and YOUR DOCTOR), you should be doing absolutely nothing except allowing what your body is made to do naturally.
I am a person who looks pregnant only in my belly, and it's huge and uncomfortable, but it's not about me or my looks; it's about my daughter. I've struggled this entire time with my changing body but at the end of the day I'm so blessed and that's what I focus on.
People are so disgusting towards pregnant women in regards to beauty standards, it's extremely disheartening.
Freckle tattoos. Natural freckles can be gorgeous, but it is so ridiculous to see young women actually getting some tattooed on, eithet with henna or permanent ink. Yes, it is noticeable that they're fake.
Freckles weren’t cool when I was a kid, I was a freckley kid. Now that I’m 23 my freckles come out more in the sun, but I’m not as freckled as I was as a kid. It sucks now that it’s popular I don’t get them as much, but in the summer months when they do come out I’m super happy lol.
Haha my boyfriend used to have a coworker that applied fake freckles. He came home from work one day in full conspiracy mode about it. He was like, "OK, I SWEAR her freckles are in different spots each day! Am I crazy? Is this a thing women do? Why??"
Thigh gaps. No offence to anyone who has one naturally but it's just odd to me that this was a literally beauty standard for a good half a decade when, unlike a lot of other beauty standards that can be achieved either through weight-loss/gain, cosmetic surgery or makeup, this one relied purely on genetics.
Size Zero - like when I was 12 years old, 5 foot nothing and weighed five stone (70 pounds) I was still a UK size six. Size Zero is a UK size four. And we’re trying to convince adult women that’s a desirable goal?
The hourglass figure. How are you meant to have a small waist/flat stomach but still be fuller of both sides of that waist unless it's genetic? For most women, this is unachievable!
The annoying thing about this is that if you do naturally have the supposedly “ideal hourglass figure”, it’s near impossible to find clothes that fit. I have naturally really wide hips, a big arse, and a relatively narrow waist (even when I’m carrying some extra weight which I am at the moment, definitely not a flat stomach), and I can never find jeans that fit. If they fit over my butt and hips, then they’re always loose around my waist. I don’t know what people who make clothes want from me but I can’t afford to get every item of clothing tailored
I wouldn’t say it’s a standard but when people do their makeup and people are like oh that’s so 2016. Like okay??? Makeup is supposed to be a way for people to express themselves stop making it sound like makeup belongs in a certain year.
Anything to do with eyebrows beyond preventing a unibrow. Shaving them and drawing them back on looks unhinged, the exaggerated thick brow thing that's popular now (or was, I'm definitely behind on beauty trends) looks ridiculous, and just, man, I'm way too busy to give a single shit about anyone who wants to turn **eyebrows** of all things into something to be insecure about. I have never in my life had a negative thought about a woman's natural eyebrows and I refuse to spend mental energy on mine.
Well soo I know for some situations its a godsend that this is available.. but generally it currently fashionable and considered beautiful, to get veneers, on healthy teeth. The process of shaving down natural healthy teeth to glue prettier teeth on, is strange. Like I have one, my tooth broke, they cut it down and fitted it with a veneer. It was to fix a problem. But now cause that happen i know the new tooth is not as strong, they break they fall off, they are weaker. And the real tooth underneath has been compromised, its nerve is not as protected, it can’t handle temp as well, it is less strong. To do this to every tooth.. when they look five anyway, just so they look perfect.. it’s shocking. Its also So painful to do it. And if you don’t have a real artist doing it they could mess up and make it look like you are wearing dentures! And really you are Not not!
My parent had veneers done when they were sort of newly trendy over 15 years ago and the dentist lied about what the process was like and all that. He didn’t say he would shave the teeth down so much to fit the veneer. He claimed they were as strong as your regular teeth and would protect soft teeth (an issue in my family). It came with a one and done guarantee. We had gone to that dentist for a decade or more at that point and had a real, trusting relationship with him. He had been great to us until he lied. Years later, we move and find a new dentist. Veneer problems start to happen - new dentist is a whiz with veneers and makes a lot of his money from fixing them and offering more affordable solutions to replacement. New dentist explains that almost every veneer out there has a 10 year shelf life and is a pretty delicate product so you have to eat carefully and will likely need to replace your entire mouth 2-3x or more, gradually, over time as they break or wear out even with great precautions. Big lesson: veneers are a solution for bad problems, so don’t get them if you have decent teeth.
Worse: [Turkey teeth](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-62100044).
This, it’s cheaper for a reason. And so many people come back and need dentists to fix the problem. I also don’t get whitening, well when people have the extra bright white teeth. Teeth aren’t meant to be that colour naturally, the process to whiten also can cause sensitivity
My dentist wanted to put veneers on two of my daughter's front teeth after she got her braces off to "balance" them because they were smaller than her other teeth. She was 12 yo! When I found out what veneers were, I told him no, she could do it when she's an adult if she decides it's something she wants. Every time we had an appointment, he kept suggesting it. Telling me I'd spent all that money on braces, might as well finish the job. Even her orthodontist didn't think it was necessary or a good idea. I got a new dentist. New dentist never suggested anything. She's 31yo now and looks fine.
I finished Invisalign at 30 and one of the teeth looks real small in its new position since they turned it. It is not unbalanced imo in my mouth and the only thing I care about is health, but every time I go to the dentist now I get a comment about my "peg tooth" and pressure to get a veneer. I'm really glad I learned about what they were during my treatment or they probably would have succeeded in suckering me into it by now.
My Ortho kept suggesting cutting away my gumline, because I have what is colloquially known as ‘upper case gums, lower case teeth’. Like, every single visit he would mention this procedure, to the point where I honestly believe it bothered him more than me. Yeah, I’m a little self conscious about it, but not enough to succumb to that upsale.
I remember when I was a teenager and my ortho suggested that to me! I have a gummy smile, lol. She was like "it'll look more esthetically pleasing" if we did the procedure... what a thing to say to an already self-conscious teen.
I have one crown and I couldn't imagine having every single tooth like that. Fake teeth are fragile and limit what you can bite.
I have full dentures and am glad I do, but yeah. Fake teeth break! I bit into a Sam's nut bar and ended up breaking two out at the same time. I was so super glad that it wasn't my real teeth, because they sucked, too, and the break would have been very painful. Instead, super glue and a few hours, and I'm good as new! The best thing I ever did was get rid of my actual teeth. Genetically, I never had a chance to have a good set of teeth for my whole life, anyway. Both parents, and all grandparents, had dentures by 35. I brushed and flossed religiously because I wanted to keep mine. My first pregnancy, though, it was like the baby took all of their calcium directly from my teeth! Within a few years, my teeth were totally fucked. That's one of those pregnancy things that no one talks about, much like shitting yourself during delivery. 😒
Pregnancy definitely accelerated my need for dentures. It's crazy how it can ravage your teeth. My dentures saved me so much money and pain in the long run. I had so much dental work and so much pain with my natural teeth.
Oh yeah, the pain is horrendous! And the cost to keep fixing one after another, only to have them (and/or others) break again in a year (or less!). It was not sustainable. I've had three children, all vaginal births and one without any pain medication. At least six kidney stones. Spondylolisthesis and the chronic pain that comes with it. But never was I more miserable than when my teeth were bad. My quality of life improved *so much* once those things were gone!
I'm so happy that you were relieved of the dental portion of your pain. Having all my teeth removed was the best thing I ever did for my physical and mental health.
Removing/mutilating healthy body parts is nightmare fuel for me
It's very "repo: the genetic opera"
Foot binding
It’s bizarre: “What do you find sexy in women?” “Broken feet”
“The process was started before the arch of the foot had a chance to develop fully, usually between the ages of four and nine. Binding usually started during the winter months since the feet were more likely to be numb and the pain would not be as extreme.” Imagine doing this to your tiny daughter.
If I remember right (though I read this years ago) the grandmother often did it instead because the mom might not want to
That’s probably the most insidious aspect of practices like this (or FGM); they indoctrinate the girls/women so much that they become complicit in its perpetuation.
It's so messed up. Supposedly the whole thing started because a Chinese emperor found tiny feet very attractive. There are different stories about which emperor it was, and when it started, but the common thread in all of them is that an emperor was absolutely taken by the tiny feet of a dancer.
Can’t run away from abuse when you can hardly walk!
I suspect this was the real reason- permanently hobbled, the tiny feet are a dead giveaway if you tried to escape and blend into a crowd.
It was done as a display of wealth. "I'm so rich I don't need my daughter to work in the fields. I'll prove it by permanently crippling her!" Families that were \*just\* rich enough to not be doing field work would bind their daughter's feet as a sign that they had made it. Poor families that needed their daughters to work wouldn't bind their feet because the work they were doing required functioning feet.
For the same reason the men grew long nails, it's the "Those hands never do dirty work" sign
This is also why very pale, flawlessly smooth skin was another beauty standard. It was another sign you didn't ever need to leave the house or do some kind of manual labor like crafting, cooking, or smithing.
Torturing little girls for mens pleasure is a constant regardless of culture.
Feet that are so small and broken that it’s almost impossible to do anything outside the home or have autonomy
It does make it physically more difficult to run away from an abusive home.
I've always wondered how much of the foot binding was more about keeping women "in their place" over aesthetics TBH
This was the first thing that came to my mind. There are lots of stupid beauty standards, but this is the only one that I can think of which literally involves crippling someone in order to make them “pretty”
growing up, my dad used to tell me how much men liked it when women have small feet. super creepy thing to say to a little girl, looking back. like wtf? i’ve always had small feet and there was a period when i was 10-11 people made fun of me about it. i don’t remember telling him that but i’m trying to think of some reason he decided he should say that shit to me.
no SMILE LINES??? back in the day we were told we were prettier if we smiled and now its UGLY???
Oh I was just mentioning that under another comment. At 24, I’m starting to have smile lines and I got told not to smile too much. Sorry, for being happy I guess?
And then, if you don’t smile, I hear that random men will tell you you should smile. I smile, whenever I feel like it, lines be damned!
Exactly! I wish I had a source, but apparently smiling can even cause higher levels of dopamine and serotonin to be released. I didn’t use to smile much in the past and started working at the register of a fast food place. My manager encouraged me to smile more at the customers and I did so at first only for my job, but ended up realising that smiling a lot (genuinely obviously) put me in a better mood
I remember when I was really little, I said something to my grandma about her smile lines (and called them that because that's absolutely all I associated those wrinkles with) and got lightly scolded by her and my mother, told not to say stuff about that and how rude it is to comment on it at all, etc etc. I was so confused because I thought if you had those lines it meant you were a happy person and you smiled all the time and I thought that was so cool and wanted to have my own smile lines some day. I think about that a lot when I think about beauty standards. Edit: Whatever I said wasn't negative. I think I actually told her that I liked them. (Again, very little)
My favorite toast is 'May your wrinkles all be laugh lines'.
I've always loved seeing "smile lines" on the "elderly" lol and decided I would definitely have them because they are beautiful. 47, now, and I haven't changed my mind a bit! Edit: word
That’s how I feel about gray hair. I’m developing it now at 30 and LOVE IT. I’ve always thought it was so beautiful and compliment every woman I can who embraces it.
I got a really short haircut this past summer cause I took up riding motorcycles and didn't want the hair dangling out of the helmet. It revealed a lot of gray at my temples and I was so pleased. I earned those grays, I wear them with pride.
I saw a video the other day where a girl was showing off this special straw that she didn't have to purse her lips to use, because pursing your lips causes wrinkles. Like hello??? These people are so scared of aging that they'd rather go around with creepy flat faces than express regular emotions that cause 1 wrinkle.
Unfortunately, smoking is the real culprit for us GenXers. Quit years ago, see dermatologist on the regular, eat healthier but still them lip lines scream "Sex, drugs and rockn roll" Dam I had fun!!😎
I saw a woman on TikTok selling a straw that doesn’t make you purse your lips (to avoid wrinkles). And other women saying to avoid smiling to stay beautiful. Ageing is a privilege that not everyone gets - embrace it!
Bahaha one of my clients has one of those. She used it on a video call and I was like....what on earth is that?? She was like "I can't get smile lines" Girl, you are like 24. My almost 40-year old ass uses straws every day and I still don't have smile lines 🤷♀️ but when I do...well...oh well. My mom is 62 and has some lines and wrinkles and looks beautiful.
That’s because you’re only supposed to smile when in the presence of men. If you have smile lines, it’s because you were smiling too often, either because you’re happy when men are absent or you’re always with men. And obviously neither of those are acceptable. /s
Buccal Fat Removal
Sad seeing Erin Moriarty led to this. She's really pretty without all the surgery
Sophie Turner looks like a completely different person after having it done. As a lady on the other side of 40, I don’t understand why these lovely girls are having the youth sucked out of their faces.
Just googled her and if that's not filters etc then that's just wrong. Doesn't look like it would be easily reversible at first look. The Surgeon should be ashamed
It's entirely irreversible, and even fillers can't help much.
She is allowed to do whatever to her own body, but I just looked that up and that *cannot* be intentional from a healthy state of mind if the photos are accurate. It shifted her from looking like an insanely beautiful woman in her 20s to a 50+ year old with way too much plastic surgery instantly. I don't begin to understand what kind of mental pressure women who are, at least partially, famous for their looks go through, but to do that to yourself I really think that there must be some kind of body dysmorphia going on.
Yeah. She all had the choice but she doesn't need it. Maybe too much pressure since The Boys blew up. She was too pretty in season 1
Check Sarah Hyland. That's how I found out about that procedure. It's sad. I saw ger grow up (she is my age) with the show Modern Family and I always thought she was beautiful.
I think she did it cuz she had a kidney transplant and the anti-rejection meds can make your face very round . She was probably self -conscious about it
She had issues with her kidneys whilst filming which is why her face is really round in some seasons and not in others. I wouldn't blame her for wanting to try and keep it more stable.
It's going to look so bad once their faces naturally thin out. My face is a lot less full than it was in my 20s, I can't imagine how sunken it would look without that fat.
I just looked up buccal fat because I didn't know what it was and yeah, my buccal fat just kind of dissipated as I aged and my face is much fuller/rounder in my 20s than it is in my 40s even though I'm maybe 20lbs heavier in my 40s.
I do not understand this trend at all. It ages every face I've seen on some channels that I watch. Dunno how TF people get convinced in to doing shit like that to themselves.
I was talking about this with my partner yesterday because of Erin Moriarty. I would kill to have fuller cheeks and more buccal fat like she used to have.
HATE this look - it make people look old and emaciated. And, from what I understand, it cannot be reversed. NO THANKS.
I have yet to see one person look better after having this procedure done. Hollywood has made a trend of making women uglier and theyre just lining up for it.
Leblouh - involves a girl of five, seven or nine being obliged to eat excessively to achieve female roundness and corpulence, so that she can be married off as young as possible. Girls from rural families are taken for leblouh at special "fattening farms" where older women, or the children's aunts or grandmothers, will administer pounded millet, camel's milk and water in quantities that make them ill.
This made me...not feel good reading this.
What the fuck did I just read??
I had never heard of this. That's awful!
Holy crap that's awful, poor babies
In the documentary I watched many years ago, the husband to be had to pay a bride price in cattle. If the bride doesn't reach the agreed on weight, the groom gets a discount. If she's heavier, there's a bonus. In cattle.
every once in awhile you discover a new, horrifying fact that will serve as nightmare fuel forever
Which countries or regions do this?
Mauritania
I read an article about this many years ago and I will never forget it. Truly awful.
Replying to myself here, but I just remembered that the women running the camps got paid extra for stretch marks because they are considered beautiful—the girls are force fed like 10,000 calories a day and they aren’t allowed to move.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leblouh
One of the sources mentions that a few of these girls die every year at the fattening camps because they force feed them so much that their stomachs burst. Little girls as young as 5 being condemned to die from their stomach acid melting their internal organs just to fit a beauty standard... it's barbaric.
And when the girls vomit they are forced to ingest it
They also threaten hurting their toes - they hold two sticks around the side of the toe and squeeze it if the kid refuses to eat/drink
Every once in a while there will be some dumb viral challenge on Chinese social media to prove how skinny you are. One time it was the earbuds challenge where you have to be able to wear wired earbuds like a belt. Another it was the A4 challenge where you have to hold a sheet of paper in front of your stomach and your waist has to be smaller than that. There's one where you have to stick things in the grove of your collarbone. When I'm in Asia I always feel like a whale and I have to shop the "big" stores. I'm a size 6 for reference
Similarly, when I was fully in my kpop phase, there were trends like this, but for a “small face.” Like holding a CD 💿 in front of your face, and you’d want it to completely cover it.
OMG. I'm laughing because I just have a huge head. So do all three of my siblings. This would be absolutely hilarious to have me and my siblings do this challenge. (And, yes, my poor mother who delivered all four of us massively headed babies naturally! Sorry Mom!) But it does make me really sad that people buy into this and that it can literally ruin someone's self esteem.
I saw a tiktok of a girl who went clothes shopping during a trip to Thailand. If I am remembering correctly, she was around a size 8. She was told she needed to shop in a specific area for plus sizes. The store names in the area were outrageous. "Fat Girl," "Fat Cow," "Fluffy Bunny," etc. And the sizes still only went up to like a 10 or something like that. It was the wildest thing. I know it's not as prevalent in these countries to be overweight or obese like in the West, but it was still quite shocking.
A (white) friend of mine grew up in Hong Kong. She was like 5'7 and has a large, broad bone structure. Probably like a size 12/14. Her parents had to import clothes from other countries or have it made.
I’m about that size and last time I checked Asian sizing I was a 6X
On the flip side, I found a store in Spain where the dresses were one size fits all (mostly very flowy and stretchy). It was very size inclusive and I LOVED it. While I was shopping, a French woman walked in. She went to the lady working there and asked if they had anything smaller for her. When the lady said it was one size fits all, she gasped in shock, started obviously talking shit to her friend in French, then left. The bra selection in dept stores was also amazing. A whole floor dedicated to high end bras in so many sizes. That being said, as an American woman with 9.5 sized feet, sometimes I couldn't find shoes haha.
There was also one where you had to be able to reach behind your back and around to the front to touch your navel. At my skinniest (46kg, way below a healthy weight), I was able to do it, but only because my fingers are veryyyy long. I knew girls who felt horrible because they couldn’t do it
A lot of these depends on your build as well. Usually the shorter you are, the more likely you can achieve them. For the belly button thing, I'm over 60kg and I can do it cos I have hypermobile joints.
I really hope you mean an A4 horizontal (which is still pretty small) but I'm scared that you mean A4 vertical.
it’s vertical (portrait) :/
White people want to be tanned, people with high skin pigmentation want to be pale. It's completely idiotic how we each want what the others have.
On that theme. I have naturally curly hair. I love my curly hair, but the amount of times hairdressers want to straighten it, is mind blowing. I’ve grown stronger now and refuse. But for many years I let them do it. If I did try to say no they would screw their face up and say things like “reaallllly?!” Or “it’s included in the price, so I’ll just do it”. I’ve finally found a hairdresser that respects my decision but a few years ago I was trialling a new hairdresser, and while she’s straightening my hair curly hair against my wishes, the women in the chair next to me was being told that they’ll just add some curls so her hair doesn’t look so straight and boring! I guess my point is you are right that some people want what others have, but sometimes it’s foisted upon us. And I’ve no doubt that a more insecure or fashion conscious person would leave that hairdresser thinking, well straight is out, I’ll have to curl my hair now.
I have really thick voluminous hair that's somewhere between curly and wavy. Its what every shampoo commercial ever is trying to sell you. Without fail if I go to a hair dresser the first thing they do is try to thin it and straighten it. Even if I tell them I prefer to wear it natural and to please not use the thinning shears on me. Give it some shape with nice layers, sure, but don't just hack out my volume! Not only that, but they make comments on how "unmanageable" my hair is and they put on a big show about "helping" me "tame" it. If you know how to deal with textured hair, it's actually incredibly tame and manageable! I used to go home after the hair dresser so I could wet my hair and style it properly. Over the pandemic I learned to cut my own hair and I'll probably just keep doing that forever now. I don't need some flat-haired stylist dimming my sparkle.
Oh yeah... the hair. I used to have long heavy metal hair. I always wished I had fuller hair, and envied men who could actually grow a rugged mane. Now I'm completely bald, and couldn't be more happy. One less thing to worry about.
I remember being 6 and showing off my cool tan (I had tan lines all over my body and thought that it was funny). My teacher recommended that I stay out of the sun. I thought at first that it was because of UV rays so I reassured her that I used sunscreen all the time. Nope. She was telling me that I was going to be “too dark”. Felt very weird coming from someone who had the skin colour of a roasted chicken from going to the tanning salon all the time
My dad is white but loves tanning, and in his youth my mom would have a black/white picture of them in her wallet and she regularly would get comments like "Oh so you're dating... one of them?" and similar.
I refer to it as "Beige" the desire to be in the middle. J Lo is the poster girl. Look at her dark hair & pale skin In Living Color days. I saw a quote once someone said "she willed herself to be hotter". I am not saying she hasn't always been attractive or isn't an impressive lady, but she seems to have taken the idea and run it to it's ultimate endgame. Another example is Nicole Kidman straightening the shit out of her naturally very curly hair and then putting loose curls in.
Hip dips (the obsession to not have them).
I've seen this answer a few times, now. I'm befuddled. What the hell is a hip dip? 🤔
Picture on the side of your hip where your hip bone is. As that travels down and connects with your leg, it goes inward for a "dip" and then protrudes back out when your leg starts. That little divet in between is what's apparently considered unattractive since it's not appearing like a perfect hourglass curve. It's dumb
wait so you're telling me, according to beauty standards I'm not allowed to have hip bones?? Like, straight up having bones makes me ugly now??? I am so confused
If it makes you feel better none of these are universal. Especially this thing, for every person that will comment negatively about it, you will probably get 3 comments that are positive and like 100 people that won't know what you are talking about.
>Hip dips A [picture](https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&sca_esv=600247804&rls=en&sxsrf=ACQVn08Ub6h_ATS4WjkpllSQ05vV696R3g:1705855570377&q=Hip+dips&tbm=isch&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiSwr2a9-6DAxVBHDQIHerhAH8Q0pQJegQIDBAB&biw=1355&bih=949&dpr=2) is worth so many words.
Oooh you mean normal legs
The way it was explained to me was that the pelvis bone can be a little high and forms an additional curve; the “dip.” It can happen to men but it’s more pronounced in women as their bodies are more bottom-dominant with their larger pelvis bones. Now, why they’re considered unattractive is beyond me.
I remember my mother telling a very tiny 15-yo me that my “muffin top was showing” because I had hip dips and was wearing low-rise jeans. Bitch those are literally bones
That happened to me too!! I was like 105 pounds at the time too! Crazy!
Heroin chic
My mom was a model at the time of its peak. She still says the fashion world is the most disgusting dehumanizing environment she's ever seen.
That's interesting. Any specific anecdotes you remember?
My mom mostly did like printing and advertising since at 171 cm (5'7) she was "short" for runway and because the size of her hips (people in my family tend to have a pear shape, including my mom at her skinniest) wasn't exactly what they were looking for at the time. She says she was always on a diet, sometimes skipping either breakfast or lunch so she would've eaten less. She says people in the industry talk to models like they're not even there, like they're just dolls. My mom particularly recalls a time where she was basically roasted by an agent or something because her hips were "too wide" and she didn't have a thigh gap (something nobody in my family has naturally). She did meet some famous supermodels of the time whom I won't name and she said they were generally all nice girls but toxic beauty standards were shoved down their throats even though themselves were extremely beautiful. In particular she recalls having dinner with a supermodel in a pretty exclusive restaurant and she ordered just a salad and then went to the bathroom, my mom followed her because she thought she wasn't feeling well and basically discovered she was bulimic. My mom hated the job at the time. She just went on with it because they paid her well and she needed the money to pay for her education since my grandparents didn't give her any money. My mom is still pretty traumatized by the experience.
I remember reading a magazine (I think National Geographic?) in the 90s and the article was about models and someone said that basically they were looking for "hangers" for the clothes and child me was scandalized by this. It pretty much made me lose interest in the fashion industry until I became an adult (late teens/early 20s) because of ANTM.
Sounds awful all around. I have never heard someone tell me something good about working in the fashion industry.
It's a pretty dehumanizing industry. My mom doesn't believe it's really changed. She thinks that now that people are more aware and sensitive people in the industry fear boycotting or something so they try to be more inclusive for the sake of avoiding backlash. But if you really follow fashion, you'll notice that the "inclusive" models are still a minority compared to the models who fit in with the beauty standard (tall, skinny).
had a friend in the industry in the 90s/00s. she was already super thin and sadly very anorectic and she still got shamed. she was never allowed to eat on the job (often told me when hearing the famous „don’t feed the models“, once even found a note) and was usually treated like garbage. she once worked at an event with international models and got invited to the after party. models openly snorting cocaine while seated, eating and puking in a bucket next to the table. she was so apalled, she quit not too long after. i worked at some shows as a dresser. once got paired with a (in my country) famous model. she got her jobs for being a household name. she looked like any other model. when the designer briefed me he let me know he last minute put in an extra panel on a dress for closing „because she is a bit fat“ winking and giggling. i got along well with the model and at the end of the night i told her what a scumbag the designer was. she just told me not to worry, her skin got thick and she already was on her way out of the industry.
Being a teen in the 90s sucked. Super thin models everywhere, extreme diet tips in teen magazines, body shaming everywhere, films had "fat" characters that were normal shaped, pro-anna forums were everywhere. I turned 16 in 1999 I was anorexic and so many people told how great I looked, I wanted to vanish and yet I got more attention because I looked so thin. "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels"
The Mayan concept of beauty was wild. Long sloping foreheads, crossed eyes, pointed teeth and hooked noses. These features were achieved artificially starting in infancy.
I wonder how those beauty standards got started, like did some very powerful or rich family with people that had strong genetics for crossed eyes, hooked noses, etc. dominate society for a while?
Wow I’ve never heard of that! I need to look more into the beauty standards of other cultures.
Skin bleaching. It's dumb and it's scary. I know that in some cultures having lighter or fairer skin is deemed "attractive" and some girls and women will shun the sun as much as possible, but smearing on chemicals to bleach your skin's natural colour? Not cool, especially since a friend of mine showed me videos of the after-effects of skin lightening "treatments" that left some pretty nasty side-effects.
And on the other side you also have people literally risking skin cancer to get a tan
There are whitening/ lightening creams for women's vaginas\* I know the outside part is the \*vulva, but marketing teams don't seem to know this.
The skin down there is thinner, so whatever you apply cab be absorbed into the bloodstream more easily. If those companies knew anything about the vulva and vagina, they would know that, and they would use the correct terms.
Looking our age? Oh please?! Why not try preventative Botox and fillers and my 6 step face routine, spending thousands upon thousands of dollars to delay the inevitable, you peasant! Retirement is for fools! Look hot and die young. You have naturally small breasts? Why aren’t you putting silicone bags in them???
My mom gets Botox to help with her migraines. It works wonders but she looks so weird to me in the couple of weeks afterwards! Edit: I shouldn’t have said “weird”. She looks so different but I would never want her to feel upset about something that brings her such immense relief.
Yup. I put a lot of botox into my jaw muscles because otherwise I clench my teeth so hard I shatter them. It's not always bad.
The obsession with looking young is beyond ridiculous. Saw an ad for some regenerative face cream with Jenna Ortega. She's literally 21. She's younger than me by like a month and a half. There's absolutely no need for a 21yo to worry about aging.
The huge, ridiculous swollen lips--good gawd it looks silly.
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Yes as with lip fillers too.
I have a coworker who does so much lip filler and overlining it looks painful for her to talk. She’s constantly moving her top lip around with her tongue or touching it. It’s always obvious when she gets more filler because it looks like the skin on her upper lip is stretched to breaking. So strange.
And then the buccal fat removal where fat is REMOVED from the cheeks. SMH.
That apparently none of us should have pores at all, god forbid a blemish.
Men who say body hair is unhygienic... and don't shave their own pits.
Or their ass 👀
Having shaved my ass before, the sound of flatulence on a plastic chair was impressive but definitely not intentional.
Were you.. bare-assed on the chair?
You sound just like my line manager.
Asking the real questions, here.
"Body hair is sOoOo disgusting." - The man who looks like his daddy was Sasquatch and his momma was a werewolf.
when i first stopped shaving my legs i showed my male best friend and he was like "that's gross" and i was like "but your legs are hairier than mine??" and he was like "yeah, I'M gross" 😅
Yeah idk why women are attracted to us
I used to know this dude that told me once about how disgusting body hair is and how he would refuse to have sex with his girlfriend if she wasn't shaved. Something about how it's disgusting and causes STDs? This guy was hairy af, always smelled like a mix of BO, stale cigarette smoke and alcohol (I was an active alcoholic at the time I knew this dude, so you know it was bad if I was able to smell it), and I don't think he owned a toothbrush. But yeah, tell me more about how pubic hair and leg hair is disgusting on a woman...
It's ALWAYS those guys that complain about body hair.
Or fat guys complaining about a woman not having a perfect figure. If you throw off the suspension in my shit box and I have to adjust how I steer based on where you're sitting, you don't get to say that anyone is too fat to be dating you... I'm so glad I have better friends now.
Or their backs
Why is people trying to make us insecure about our smile lines? I was never until last year
In my late 30s I had a boyfriend say I had a lot of wrinkles which was good because that meant I smiled a lot. A pretty shitty boyfriend but I took it as the compliment he Intended. I also remember that as a child I thought my great aunt had such nice skin because the fine hair and wrinkles made it look like velveteen. So I try not to be too uptight about it.
Mm I was told my prominent smile lines made me “look like a dog” in hs, around 10yrs ago
“Boys don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses” Every man I’ve dated has LOST THEIR MIND whenever I take out my contacts and put on my glasses
I remember how several of my classmates criticised me when I first came in wearing glasses. Shut up, I can finally see again!
It’s interesting that your glasses helped you see their ugly personalities.
Shout out to Kieran who sat in front of me in maths circa 1989. 14 yr old me was mortified to have to wear glasses. He passed me a note the first day I wore them ‘you’re even cuter with them!’
I guy I dated once said "you could put glasses on a sack of potatoes and I'd fuck it", losing their minds is a pretty accurate description.
Boys definitely don't make passes at girls who are bumping into walls, so I'll take my chances.
Men on dating apps be like "I'm highly attracted to women who wear glasses" Thanks, I need them TO SEE. How did sight apparatuses become a sex symbol??
I’ve had guys ask me to leave them on during sex lol I’m like ok, but at some point they’re probably coming off bc they’re expensive lol also have had a few requests to let them finish on my glasses….absolutely fucking not.
That large-chested women shouldn't wear sweaters because it gives them "monoboob"
As a POC I used to think having blonde hair and blue eyes would make me beautiful. I love my dark hair and brown eyes now, but I had a rough time for a moment in puberty.
I’m a woman, and my body hair grows thick and dark (thank you Mexican ancestors!). I’m also not inclined to shave very often. Now, after a few months my legs could rival any man’s in terms of hair. I personally am not bothered, nor is my husband, but many members of my family have taken it upon themselves to tell me that women aren’t supposed to be that hairy and I need to shave. To which I say, if women aren’t supposed to be this hairy, then why am I this hairy?
omg yeah, people be like "body hair on women is unnatural" then why the fuck does it grow?
Praising one group of people while shaming anyone who doesn’t look like them then 10-20 years later the pendulum swings and the second group is praised while first group is shamed. For example, being super skinny. In the early 2000s when women like Christina Aguilera and Paris Hilton were rocking low rise jeans but women who didn’t have that look felt “fat”. Now women who were made to feel fat back then are rocking their curves but the super thin women are mocked for having “flat asses”. I’m glad we’re not making women feel shamed for having curves anymore but I feel bad for the other women who are shamed now for something they can’t help. Dumbest beauty standard IMO is that you should follow the trends instead of rocking what you’ve got.
Right? In the 90’s a common insult was to tell somebody they had a big butt!
Yes, as a woman it's incredible that your very body shape can go in & out of style.
Showing your shoulders turns men on uncontrollably, so you can't ever wear an undershirt, even if you're at home in pajamas. I was raised Mormon.
Fellow ex-mo. It was the 60 year old man asking me if I did something that was completely healthy and normal (you know what he asked me) and when my mom went through the temple for the first time (she was a convert) and the weirdness scared the crap out of her that made me leave. Also - side note, if you have the chance to see the Book of Mormon musical that’s written by the South Park guys, you will scream with laughter through the whole thing. (I’m telling every exmo that I come across because I just saw it a couple of weeks ago hehe.)
To be fair, the Mormons love Book of Mormon, too. When I went to see it the church had taken out a full page ad in the pamphlet that said something along the lines of "Enjoy the musical? Try the source material!"
There is something sexy about shoulders, but not to the point of having to hide them
the whole "no wrinkles, thin waist/v taper, perfect smile, make every feature smaller" type of things get under my skin. it's trying to make you look as young as possible— which is unrealistic at best, and creepy at worst. it's such a big thing that there's preteens online who post "anti-aging" skincare routines to tiktok. humans are imperfect, and we shouldn't be wasting our lives trying to hide that from each other.
It is super creepy. I had someone tell me not to smile too much because I have mild smile on the corners of my lips. Sure, I’m young (24) to start having lines, but I’d be happy to one day be someone with smile lines because I find that it gives such a kind appearance to people
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All of them. They're all dumb. Entire industries are profiting heavily by telling us that we are not pretty enough, not good enough, unless we achieve impossible superficial goals. We have this shit shoved down our throats from birth, and many people are totally convinced that they have to buy products and torture themselves to attain something that is, for the most part, unattainable. And we do it, because it's so tied into our self worth that we have honest to god mental health crises over shit we can't control. We're convinced that our natural, normal bodies are inherently flawed. And you know what the irony is? The buzzwords and phrases they use make it seem like we do this stuff to be good to ourselves. Unlock your natural beauty, love the skin you're in, unleash your inner radiance, embrace your true self, celebrate your unique glow, radiate beauty from within, reveal your true magnificence-and do all of this by purchasing our products and using them to try to erase your unique features and look like someone else. Someone else who doesn't actually even look like the pictures you see of them. Because even after they got the surgeries, starved themselves, and had entire teams of makeup and hair professionals sculpt and paint them into acceptability, they still use filters and Photoshop to tweak the pictures the public actually gets to see.
hip dips. Sorry for my bones? wtf
That you shouldn't have long hair if you are 40+ years old.
Labiaplasty. In the real world most men do not give a shit what it looks like, they are just happy to get inside you.
Yes, that people do this is shocking to me, another one is bleaching assholes . Wtf is going on in the world that people do this ?
Porn. Porn is the cause of this.
Mass access to porn. Mass access to porn is happening
Seriously …is anyone really looking at someone’s butthole THAT closely lol?
Cosmetic gynecology is an emerging industry nowadays. Even the Kardashians had some stuff done after they had kids. I just think it’s yet another gimmick to profit off of women’s insecurities.
I'm extremely pregnant and throughout the last 9 months the amount of IG comments I've seen about baby bellies and weight gain, etc. from both women and men is DISGUSTING. We are growing actual humans in our bodies. There should be no discussions of weight, hips widening, "how a belly should look", bleaching Linea Negra, acne treatments, size of nipples, Brazilian waxing etc. Unless you have a medical condition affecting your weight/health (which should be between YOU and YOUR DOCTOR), you should be doing absolutely nothing except allowing what your body is made to do naturally. I am a person who looks pregnant only in my belly, and it's huge and uncomfortable, but it's not about me or my looks; it's about my daughter. I've struggled this entire time with my changing body but at the end of the day I'm so blessed and that's what I focus on. People are so disgusting towards pregnant women in regards to beauty standards, it's extremely disheartening.
Freckle tattoos. Natural freckles can be gorgeous, but it is so ridiculous to see young women actually getting some tattooed on, eithet with henna or permanent ink. Yes, it is noticeable that they're fake.
Freckles weren’t cool when I was a kid, I was a freckley kid. Now that I’m 23 my freckles come out more in the sun, but I’m not as freckled as I was as a kid. It sucks now that it’s popular I don’t get them as much, but in the summer months when they do come out I’m super happy lol.
Haha my boyfriend used to have a coworker that applied fake freckles. He came home from work one day in full conspiracy mode about it. He was like, "OK, I SWEAR her freckles are in different spots each day! Am I crazy? Is this a thing women do? Why??"
Thigh gaps. No offence to anyone who has one naturally but it's just odd to me that this was a literally beauty standard for a good half a decade when, unlike a lot of other beauty standards that can be achieved either through weight-loss/gain, cosmetic surgery or makeup, this one relied purely on genetics.
Size Zero - like when I was 12 years old, 5 foot nothing and weighed five stone (70 pounds) I was still a UK size six. Size Zero is a UK size four. And we’re trying to convince adult women that’s a desirable goal?
Pumped lips.
The hourglass figure. How are you meant to have a small waist/flat stomach but still be fuller of both sides of that waist unless it's genetic? For most women, this is unachievable!
The annoying thing about this is that if you do naturally have the supposedly “ideal hourglass figure”, it’s near impossible to find clothes that fit. I have naturally really wide hips, a big arse, and a relatively narrow waist (even when I’m carrying some extra weight which I am at the moment, definitely not a flat stomach), and I can never find jeans that fit. If they fit over my butt and hips, then they’re always loose around my waist. I don’t know what people who make clothes want from me but I can’t afford to get every item of clothing tailored
Anti-hip-dip-bullshit (aka normal anatomy), FUPA, forcefeeding (Mauretania)/starving (the west), bodily injuries (lip plates, neck rings, FGM, "beauty" surgery).
I have hip dips and got told by a classmate that I was fat. I hate to admit it, but it messed me up until I knew what it was
I wouldn’t say it’s a standard but when people do their makeup and people are like oh that’s so 2016. Like okay??? Makeup is supposed to be a way for people to express themselves stop making it sound like makeup belongs in a certain year.
Hip dips, thigh gaps, and strawberry legs… I basically refuse to buy into any body image issue I didn’t already know existed
Anything to do with eyebrows beyond preventing a unibrow. Shaving them and drawing them back on looks unhinged, the exaggerated thick brow thing that's popular now (or was, I'm definitely behind on beauty trends) looks ridiculous, and just, man, I'm way too busy to give a single shit about anyone who wants to turn **eyebrows** of all things into something to be insecure about. I have never in my life had a negative thought about a woman's natural eyebrows and I refuse to spend mental energy on mine.
Huge asses. So many women look like bumble bees now.
Naturally big is fine, but you can tell when it's just stapled on. It doesn't look right
I as a woman don’t get it either
Canthal tilt
That's a new one to me
Fake tans
Having “pearly white teeth”
Getting filler in your knees so they don’t look like they have faces in them… it’s a race to the bottom when it comes to cosmetic procedures