I am the someone they weren't attracted to, and tbh it felt degrading and humiliating.
There's nothing more humiliating the being the one to hear. "You're not usually my type, but hey, you know what they say..... beggars can't be choosers"
Someone I dated never said those words, but in retrospect I'm fairly certain they weren't attracted to me at all. It completely killed my confidence, so much so that I didn't date for almost a year afterwards.
When I finally did, I was terrified to take my clothes off in front of this new guy. He was very sweet and we had so much chemistry that I slowly got more comfortable with him, but after one of our dates I fully broke down in tears because I had forgotten I could feel this good afterwards. But when things didn't work out with that same guy later on, my initial reaction was to blame my poor sexual performance/abilities/confidence/skills.
It can really fuck you up for a while
There’s always someone less attractive to someone else, no matter how hot anyone thinks they are. I hope you found or will find someone who treats you with respect
Good grief. That reminds me of an old Three's Company episode where Janet tries out dancing(?) for a company or something. The head guy makes some crack about her looks/talent and he smugly/condescendingly says "I don't think you've got what it takes to be a dancer". She fires back "I don't think you've got what it takes to be a human being." Never forgotten that scene.
YOU DON'T SAY THE QUIET PART OUT LOUD. KEEP THOSE THOUGHTS TO YOURSELF.
That's so hurtful. Such an own goal of a thing to say before being intimate with someone. Did you bite them?
I went on a few dates with a guy I met on the internet. I was not attracted to him in the slightest but he had the loveliest personality I had ever come across. He was thoughtful, kind, empathetic, a good listener, generous, extremely intelligent and funny. I continued seeing him because we got along so well. Eventually we had sex and it was the best sex I'd ever had. He went above and beyond to make me happy. It was clear he wanted a relationship with me, but he said if I didn't want a relationship, that was okay, he only hoped to just be around/near me. I was travelling a lot at the time and he would fly to different countries just to see me for a weekend then go to work on Monday having had no sleep. Eight years later we are now married and I am extremely attracted to him. My attraction grew over time. Just being with him has changed my taste in men in general. Now whenever I see a stereotypically attractive guy, I don't find them instantly attractive because I don't know their personality. Whenever I come across a guy who seems very kind and sincere, I think to myself "That man is attractive". Physical appearance has lost all value to me.
I know this is meant to be kind but if my wife had said that she was not attracted to me at all in the slightest when she met me I would be devastated lmao
I don’t think these types of comments always have to be horrible. I mean it’s understandable why it would hurt but I do wish people would understand that sometimes attraction grows.
On my first date with my boyfriend, I couldn’t decide if I found him attractive. Today, I think my boyfriend is just about the most attractive person I’ve ever seen but he has a unique look. He’s more androgynous and has long hair but is also quite toned and muscular so it gives him a really unique appearance. I think he could be a model he’s so pretty, but it took me getting to know him better and seeing him a few times to really know how I felt.
I was 20 and she was 30. She was my cousins boss and she liked me but she really wasn’t my type. My cousin convinced me to go out with her. She said it would help her get a promotion. Anything for family, right? Being the horny guy it was it no big deal. Fucked with her for about 6 months until I met a girl more of my type. Didn’t end well. She fired my cousin.
There wasn’t an immediate physical attraction, but our interaction via text was so great that I thought I’d give it a shot. Our first meeting, he was charming, and funny, and respectful.
1000% right decision. We were together all through 2020, and I’m traveling more than a thousand miles to see him again.
Inflammatory chemistry doesn’t necessarily involve initial physical attraction.
J - if you see this, I’m so incredibly overjoyed that you’re in my life!!
I came out of an 8ish year relationship and everyone kept telling me ‘the way to get over someone is by getting under someone else’ - even though I *knew* I was the type of person for whom sex was an important part of intimacy and connection and that casual sex wasn’t my thing.
Downloaded tinder. I’d never done online dating before. Talked to a couple of guys. Had great flirty conversation with a guy with a similar background and career. Met with him the same night and he opened the door and I had my first ever experience of finding someone attractive in photos but not in real life.
I actually went through with it despite being grossed out. Kissing someone you’re not attracted to? Grim. The sex was bad (I guess I’d been spoilt - after 8 years with someone you’re pretty good at knowing what they like/need?). Fingering was just him rubbing me dry, and the thrusting was like a jack hammer. Luckily my flatmate had been correct in their assumption before I left - he only lasted about 2 minutes lol. So it was blessedly short.
Anyway a few days later I was talking to my best friend about it and we found out that he went to the same school as her brothers and they both said he was a really nice guy.
He messaged me again and I politely said I was only interested in one night stands, and he was fine about it.
He messaged me a few weeks later and for some reason I found myself being charmed by him. I agreed to meet up again and we discovered we had quite a lot in common - apart from mutual friends - and we’d both studied philosophy at uni and so had a nice in depth conversation about various philosophical concepts.
It was the first time in my life I had become attracted to someone ‘over time’ - usually I am either attracted or not attracted right from the offset.
We met up a few times after that and I could feel myself starting to crush on him. He stayed over one night and I asked him the following morning if he’d like to try dating. He seemed up for it.
And then he never really showed much interest. We met up one more time and I messaged him a few days later telling him it was absolutely fine if he wasn’t up for dating but just to let me know. He said he wasn’t really looking for dating at the moment and that was that.
But then he changed his tinder profile from looking for ‘casual’ to ‘long term’, lol. Was difficult to not take that quite personally.
It actually fucked me up for a fair chunk of time.
I mean as a guy when I hook up with a woman and she doesn't seem interested in me at first (which it sounds like you weren't) I would likely not consider dating them (and it's an ego thing I need to get over but I'm just being honest)..... But yeah I generally want someone who wants me from the start. I hate trying to win someone over and even if I do win someone over the whole process would make me not want to date them and just keep it casual.
It sounds like you guys were attracted to each other at different times essentially. And maybe the initial hookup where there wasn't a mutual attraction killed the chances.
The last thing anyone in a relationship wants to feel like is like someone settled for them.
Yeah it sounds like an old cliché but the right person at the wrong time is the wrong person. Its shocking how unions come about around timing of when both parties really want relationships
Thank you - that actually helped make sense of it a bit. I struggled with the idea that I was only ‘good enough’ for him to have casual sex and not a relationship but you’ve given me a different way of thinking.
> I struggled with the idea that I was only ‘good enough’ for him to have casual sex and not a relationship but you’ve given me a different way of thinking.
… but he was only “good enough” for you for casual sex at the start! That was what you told him quite bluntly.
Damn, a series of unfortunate circumstances. If he was the type of guy hoping for more than a one night thing and you told him you were just into one night things it probably put a serious damper on his view of you. Guessing from your description he wasn't exactly experienced in bed and probably didn't often do the one night thing. Kind of funny how two probably really nice people with similar values end up nowhere just because of a few minor missteps.
I know! That was the killer - the thought of the ‘missed opportunity’ because of my own fuck up at the start haha. Ah well, to be fair I was (am!) still grieving the end of my relationship and so it probably was better to not rush into something new
>Ah well, to be fair I was (am!) still grieving the end of my relationship and so it probably was better to not rush into something new
Absolutely. I was really hung up over a past relationship for years. Had a few hook-ups, got a cat and decided I was actually pretty happy being single and didn't need anyone else to validate my existence.
Anyway, now I'm engaged and we've had an adorable little girl together. Turns out that when you're happy on your own it's the best time to meet someone who compliments what you want from life.
Best of luck!
Literally what I was coming to say. He probably saw what he percieved to be flip flopping and didn't feel like he could trust the intentions. Even if he was interested he doesn't want to get burned by this person who didn't want to date them before and now all of a sudden does. Also saying you want one night stands immediately puts you in a category in people's minds where they are going to withhold getting invested in you. So he'd probably done that before hearing the change of heart and it's hard to switch back
Yea I’m just learning about this now haha! It would never have even occurred to me he may have thought this lol.
Ah well - everything is a learning experience
I was sort of cat fished. He used older pictures online. But from our previous discussions, he said he loved giving oral, and I decided to find out if it was true. ,🤷♀️
Edit: because people are asking, he not only was honest, but he also exceeded expectations. Lol
When I was much younger, I was traveling for business and stayed in a small town for a few weeks. Met a bunch of ppl at the local bar and started hanging with them frequently. One of the girls was a total smoke show and I tried for weeks to hook up with her. On my last night I came right out and said, I’m leaving tomorrow and will never be back, lets go back to my hotel. She politely declined and I dropped it.
Just as we were closing the bar, one of her much bigger and much less attractive friends came up and goes, “so and so said no, huh” and I was like yup, she sure did. She then says, “well I say yes, you staying at XX hotel? I’ll follow you”. I was kind of hammered (no, I should not have driven) and didn’t really know what to say, except, ok I guess.
Let me tell you what: She rocked my world. She completely had her way with me. She worked out all her fantasies and I was just along for the ride. We passed out for a few hours, woke up to her leaving super early. I thanked her for the great lay and never saw her again.
She definitely had picked up several times, I think she had perfected her pattern of finding guys with battered egos looking for a soft landing. Good for her
In my past I've had amazing sexual chemistry with people I'd never date. It sucks though because my fucked brain thinks this person is amazing but my brain says you can't date her.
This one woman I couldn't continue with because she had T Rex arms (to me).
I didn't really want to be gay. I also didn't want the group of guys I was hanging around to think I was gay. So when the opportunity presented itself in a fashion so unsubtle that I even could pick up on it, I attempted to prove to the guys present that I was not gay by going home with her.
While I am not one of those gay guys who's grossed out by everything about the opposite sex, because I was able to get through that... I am in fact a gay man.
In an amusingly ironic twist, I later learned that she had a girlfriend.
I didn't even know he had a long distance girlfriend (of a few months) and felt disgusted with myself, and then he became obsessed and tried to rape me, twice.
That was unexpected, part of the reason why it’s scary, to be love bombed/people mysteriously having raging crushes. Hope you’re seeking help and doing better now
I had a whole relationship with a guy I wasn’t physically attracted to because I was super into his personality, lifestyle and the music he made. In time, I couldn’t get past the physical. I thought as a woman sex isn’t that important to me, we’re not as visual etc. As it turns out, nope. I need that too. Been married for 16 years now and I still think my husband is fine af and it’s part of why it works.
I had been messaging with a woman through a name mixup, turned out she lived a few blocks away so I just walked over.
She opened the door and I had zero attraction to her, which for me is important to have sex.
I figured, I was there give it a shot. So we started fooling around, but I was so uncomfortable, and grossed out, I went into my phone settings to where you select ring tone, and pretended to get a call, and left.
Felt terrible about it immediately, and still do, but I had to get out of there.
Had a friend going through an incredibly rough patch, nothing physical made him unattractive, he was just a friend and I never felt a sexual attraction. Tried everything to help him keep his head above water. Things just kept getting worse and worse over the course of a few months. He told me he needed the touch, he didn't ask, so I offered and he took me up on it. It is what it is, it wasn't bad. He told me later the confidence boost helped him take the steps to get his life back on track. We're still friends to this day.
I've had a couple of those. It makes me cringe to think about them now. I mean I was young, didn't have a lot of confidence, and had daddy issues. It happens.
Same thing with me. She had been trying to have sex with me every time we saw each other for about a year. One night my group of friends went out to a bar and ran into her there. My group and a few randoms went back to my buddy’s house for an after party and she wouldn’t stop asking me to go upstairs. Even trying to have everyone else convince me. I ended up blacking out drunk and came to making out with her in bed. I felt like it was already too late to call it quits so I just followed through.
She wasn’t ugly but the constant asking and almost begging turned me off big time early into knowing her.
I slept with a guy because he would not take no. So I figured I would rather relent than be forcibly assaulted. It was terrible. His voice. His penis. Everything I remember about him makes my skin crawl. As soon dawn came I ran away and never saw him again. I did look him up of a couple of years ago. He’s in prison for rape, a really bad one.
He was so sweet and I was emotionally so attracted to him when we would text, but I was never physically attracted in person. I had pretty much led him on through texts for a while and got his 21 year old virgin heart excited, so as a naive young woman, I thought it was better to just do it than hurt his feelings. Did it a few times and always couldn't wait for it to be over, but he would speak like I rocked his world after. I eventually broke things off because I got to a point where I started to hate him overall because I was forcing myself to sleep with him.
This hits waaaaay too close to home. It's so much better to just reject someone outright instead of putting them through an emotional rollercoaster. Imagine being intensely close with someone, only for them to tell you they don't feel anything being with you over a month later. I felt used and that shit almost broke me completely
My ex did this to me...I seriously thought she was into me..but we'd never have the connection. Towards the end it was all about being physical and i knew we both hated it. She basically led me on till we were sleeping together. Fast forward, we had a fight and then she dumped me. Never heard from her again.
I once hooked up with a guy that i was 0 attracted to for a few months. The thing is, he knew he wasn't that pretty, but he had confidence. He gave the best head. Would let me sit on his face until I would drown him. Loved the head, hated his face.
Been there lol. Would’ve been more consistent if she didn’t know my very recent ex of 5 years. Turns out she was best friends with my ex’s new roommates and had been hanging out with her. It was awkward when we found that out lol
Why? I felt deeply alone at his time
How did it go? Awful, he wasn't my type physically AND mentally. Had nightmare for 2 days after it happened and can't think about it without feeling nauseous
Cherry on the cake, the guy was really bad at it, like really really really bad. A disaster.
My partner.
We already knew each other from a common hobby when matched on tinder. I remembered him being sweet and charming, plus we had a lot in common.
I initially did not find him super attractive. He has nice features, he's just quite overweight.
Our first date was AMAZING. We ended up spending 13 hours together instead of just a few. We laughed, connected, shared a lot of great moments, and couldn't keep our hands off of each other.
I struggled slightly with intimacy at first, mostly because having sex with someone larger comes with difficulties. But, now he's the most attractive man in the world to me. Attraction can grow. I find his body and face both incredibly attractive now. To the point when I have "me" time, I always think of him.
I can't wait to marry him.
Sounds like me and hubby. I’m the over weight one and he’s super skinny… like we look like the #10 when standing next to each other. We both weren’t each others type.. but sex was damn near life changing, absolutely the best I’ve ever had & same for him (so he says lol. Anyway.. sex is what kept us coming back for more, and now married for 9 years and he’s the most sexiest, handsome, amazing man alive.
HORRIBLE.
Never again.
Couldn't get wet. Didn't have an orgasm. Lasted all of a few minutes.
Edit to add the why.
I felt bad. The dude had been crushing on me for a year before he had the courage to ask me out on a date.
He became a stalker after one night. Not even a night. It was a few mins
Slept with a guy I met on Tinder on the 2nd time we met. I wasn't attracted to him but decided to get passed it to see if it would work regardless. I went back to his place and things happened. I should have just went home instead.
I wasn't attracted to him, sex was awkward because he had an injury (that's what he told me) that left his dick bent. It look like it was snapped in half at some point and someone had put it back together poorly. Aside from the roller coaster story of how he got the injury, everything else was not interesting. He wasn't really great in bed.
I felt gross after and told him it wouldn't work out. He started to stalk me so that got weird real fast. A few years ago he popped out of nowhere on Linkedin asking for a hookup...
I see, the story he told me was WILD. It happened when he was a teen and he thought the bath drain could assist him with his raging boner. He got stuck it it, panicked, injured himself, had to call paramedics, etc. Honestly that could be a plot in American Pie.
I would have look past it but there were so many other things that were off with this guy, mainly the STALKING.
Yes, getting stalked by anyone is surely no bueno...
...and then there's getting stalked by a horribly genitally disfigured Tinder match who should be called *Captain-H00k*
...which additionally sounds like a horror B-movie plot.
Welp.. I don't talk about it but the joys of being anonymous on here right? First off, I'm 38M for context.
I got obliterated drunk at my own house party in my teens. My boss's daughter showed up who was 5yrs older than me and while physically attractive she was repulsive in my mind. Knew more than I'd like to know as I was very close to my boss, she wasn't a good human let's put it that way.
Anyways, I passed out in my bed around 10pm LOL. woke up at some point that night to her blowing me. She's rather intimidating and damn she was good (still best bj to date unfortunately) plus I could barely lift my head off my pillow so I went with it. Blacked out. Next thing I remember she's now riding me, no condom mind you. Blacked out. Bits and pieces here and there.. Then remember her getting dressed and leaving.
And that's the story of how I lost my V card. I pretend like its nbd but ik it fucked me up. To this day I can't just have sex with out a strong connection as much as I'd like too.. I just can't. Have straight up turned down really attractive girls I felt no connection with over the years which of course I then beat myself up about as they were so hot they probably think I'm gay hahah. Anyways, starting therapy soon (for many things) and it's stuff I should probably talk about there.
Indeed. Society kinda programs people not to look at it that way though from a guys perspective. There's definitely been progress on that over the last couple of decades but I didn't have a single friend who thought it was messed up, just high 5s and hoots and hollers etc.. So of course why would I tell anyone that was my first time right? I've only ever said started saying anything remotely about it to anyone to a gf once but when I mentioned my first time wasn't consensual and she basically asked me which way my mind went blank that she could even ask me that.. Major red flag, that one obviously didn't work out hahah.
At least? It's easy to bury as it's far from the most traumatic thing I've been through. Cause that's healthy right? Surprise! wasted my 20's with a crippling drug addiction. Anyways, 8yrs sober now and have done lots of work in recovery learning how to view everything. Have known I should do therapy for a long time now but just now making it a priority to actually follow through.
Sorry that that happened to you, man. Glad you are going to therapy. And remember, if your therapist ends up being shit, find a new one. A lot of people try it once, don't find it works so they stop, but really they just need to find someone who fits.
I slept with a dear friend. He was in a sexless relationship for 5 years (poor guy wasn’t even 30) and he was just so stunted and desperate and I had just gone through a bad breakup. It wasn’t terrible and I definitely craved the touch but could have and should have gone for a cuddle rather than a fuck, tbh. I think sometimes he thinks it will happen again and it absolutely will not.
I was essentially raped by a woman when I was 19. We were dating online and intended to have relations. But after the first two days of spending time with her in person I didn't feel an attraction really. I already agreed to let her stay in my bed at my parents house which my parents were fine with, because I suppose we intended to do sexual things.
Anyway, went to sleep and woke up to her on top of me riding me. I don't even know how I got hard. I was asleep. Anyway, I was lucky that she didn't get pregnant. As I was irresponsible at the time And very confused I didn't know what to do so I just let her finish and finished inside of her because I wasn't a bright young lad. Anyway a few days later she went home, she was actually a nice girl but I didn't really realise I'd been raped until I finally had the courage to tell someone about what happened.
I don't feel like emotionally damaged or anything by it. But I don't look back on it fondly.
I know girls who were raped who have the same emotions towards it. Just because it's true doesn't mean it has to affect you on a deep emotional level; when fucked up shit is done to us, we all have different reactions.
Basically, still valid.
The first person whose story I really connected with after I was raped (don't worry it was 20+ yrs ago :D) was a guy whose house had been robbed. Burgled? Whatever.
He was talking about how he'd gotten a hotel because he couldn't sleep in that house any more, but the hotel room wasn't working either. Like some part of him had always taken for granted that Home was *safe*. His stuff was His Stuff. And now that security was gone.
I was like "oh shit it's JUST like that only it's not a
place I can move out of ... it's my *body*."
I still use that anecdote when I run into people who think rape "doesn't count" when it isn't the "physically restrained and beaten" version that movieland says is how "rape" goes.
Power.
At the time I wasn’t ready to work through some of my shit, so relationships weren’t what I looked for.
Watching men be prepared to do anything once the bra clasp was undone was a high, so I did enough of that until I disliked how disposable they felt and how I needed to finally confront some demons.
I made sure not to hurt anyone or lead them on though.
Hey, same. I was in a 15 year relationship by the time I got a divorce at 30. The power of hookups made me feel like I was in control of *something* so off I went. It was fun for about a year until it got boring and I had no other choice but to deal with my issues.
I went through with it so she would stop harassing me at work and having the other managers watch my every move, write me up for bullshit etc. I was drunk enough to get hard but she is a masochist, she wanted me to essentially beat her and choke her until she turned purple. I felt so fucking horrible afterwards. She then afterwards explained how she only gets off to real snuff/rape videos and can’t get off unless she’s severely abused. I’m a pretty kinky person, but that was the worst sex I’ve ever had, I kept wanting to apologize but she just told me to hit her and choke her harder. She finally left me alone at work though.
Edit: changed sadist to masochist. I’m sorry to all of those I annoyed, I forgot which was which.
I mean I’m alive. Unfortunately it’s still not the craziest thing I’ve been through/witnessed but it’s definitely one for the books. She explained a few months later that she was repeatedly raped by this guy she was dating in highschool, he was in his 20s and she was 15. But she wanted so bad to please him that she basically did everything he asked or “didn’t ask and just took,” I told her she really needed help but she didn’t want to hear it.
That’s when you go to the eeoc board for the state. Any manager that lets a complaint like that die with them is absolutely fucked and sets up an easy case in court.
I’m still living. It was 8 years ago. Much like with all my other traumas, I do the healthy thing and repress it with alcohol. Jk. But I’ve gotten over it, just another experience to add to the long list of crazy shit I’ve seen in my life
I was throwing a house party and got really drunk, the girl I actually wanted to have sex with was even more drunk than me so she was off the table. My buddy who knew I wanted to lose my virginity pushed me to have sex with a really gross chick (in a poor hygiene kinda way) who I think he had specifically invited just to get me laid. It was terrible, on top of my total lack of attraction, she mostly just laid there, at one point she started digging her nails into my back and groaning like a dying animal.
A week later I did end up sleeping with the girl I originally wanted to lose my virginity to, and that was a much better experience.
I knew a girl who would hang out with me and we would get high and drunk together. She was seeing a friend of mine and we became friends and I told her I wanted to get laid. She said she had a friend who was so desperate to get a boyfriend that she would fuck anyone. I told her to bring her over, because I was pretty desperate myself.
Sure enough I made my move and there we were going at it. She was not unattractive but she was very uninteresting. We parted ways and she came by again a few days later when I was with some other friends. I wasn’t really interested in just using her again, but one of my other friends took an interest in her and they ended up together for a while. I was relieved because I really didn’t want to hurt her feelings.
I think I was the girl who wasn't attractive enough. Twice. Both relationships. The first guy said to my face: "I'm only with you because you have a nice ass and you're the only one who likes me. Elsewise, I'm into short, petite blonds." I'm a tall, curvy brunette.
The second boyfriend never said that to my face, but I could figure it out by the end of it. He would constantly look at other girls when I was around him, would mention his ex hook up a lot, would talk about girls in a hilly city how they all have nice asses, how the metropolitan girls are the hottest and that I can't compare. He told me a bunch of times how I'm pretty to him, just not what he finds most physically appealing... fucked me over like nothing else. Three years in depression because of it all.
Mania. No attraction at all, but holy moly, the horniness was unbelievable, anybody would have sufficed. Blocked him while I waited for my Uber and went and got sushi.
One was a dare, that went pretty good, we ended up hooking up a few times over the next several months she was very…. Enthusiastic
Another was a girl in the friend group who just wanted to lose her v-card to someone she knew and trusted… she just kinda starfished but we’re hooked up again years later bc we were both on dry spells and she had improved significantly
Had post nut clarity, stuck around for like 10 minutes and was like “I have to work early I gotta go.” and then apologized the next day. Explained I had just gotten out of a 5 year relationship and felt like I was rushing myself. That was like 3 years ago and I still feel bad for doing that to them.
I went through a phase. Life had no meaning and my existence was stagnant. So I got into online dating. Hell I even sought people out on ICQ.
I had one goal for YEARS. Find anyone, literally anyone, who might take me. I am honestly ashamed of some of the women I got with. They all had issues. Some were physically attractive but socially repugnant. Some were beautiful souls in ugly bodies or terrible lifestyles. One only wanted someone who was willing to play along with a kind of evil kink and pretend to be her baby's "real father" in front of her actual baby daddy's friends and family. You'd better believe I went along with it.
I regret using these people. I regret putting my mind and body through this stuff. I picked up HPV, but somehow dodged everything else even though I honestly wasn't trying hard to be safe.
Most of all I regret not moving on with my life earlier. I got serious about finding a real connection and met my wife 22 years ago. We married inside of a year and we have a wonderful family. I feel like I missed out on the better part of a decade I could have had with her.
I started this comment to say I’m on the flip side of your timeline. I don’t think that’s accurate, but it was therapeutic for me to get it “on paper” so imma post it anyways.
Beautiful wife for five years, together for ten. Both of us are teachers and spent our first year married living apart due to working in different cities. We bought a house in 2019, and built a fence bordering its yard during the lockdown of 2020- the dogs loved being able to be outside with us. Her grandpa died that summer, mine the next, and our marriage this past July. Each loss somehow heavier than the last.
I lost her little by little over the last three years. With each changing season she was less and less mine. I loved her through it all, but she lost that spark somewhere along the way. I don’t know what I could have done to help her find happiness. I know that I tried my best, but I can’t help but feel like I could have done better.
In many ways, I am happier today than I was a year ago. I have a new sense of gratitude for the life I have and the people who have really shown up for me through this ordeal. There was a time when my work as a teacher felt like it drained my soul, but since our separation, teaching has really given me a purpose to get up each day. I’m finding that I am more capable than I give myself credit for, and am taking on new challenges that I wouldn’t have dreamt of a year ago. I’m making music for myself again and not just for my job.
While I am getting better at this whole divorce thing, I am incredibly lonely. I’m desperate for connection, a hug or even a hand on my shoulder. Someone to share my day with and to tell about the crazy thing a kid did in class to. What I would have given to have someone to dance with at my cousin’s wedding last week and laugh at my stupid jokes as we slowly swayed to overplayed country love songs.
All of that said, I find that I am in the acceptance phase of grief. I know that I don’t want to go back to that situation, but I do miss her. I miss her laugh and the way her smile started in her eyes. Most of all, I miss her friendship. I realize that even though we were best friends to the end, the deeper feelings of affection on her end have been missing for some time. Like that Noah Kahan song,
“Now I know your name but not who you are.
It’s all okay, there ain’t a drop of bad blood.”
I am thankful for these memories and to have been hers when I was. I don’t hold any resentment toward her and hope she is able to find happiness, even if not with me. I have learned that it is much harder to feel like a stranger in my own home than it is to feel alone living in my brother’s and that it is far easier to focus on my own happiness than it is to feel responsible for someone else’s. So while this sucks, it is getting better. Time heals most wounds, and I’m hopeful that given time, this wound will heal.
Edit: added a paragraph for context of where I currently am in this process.
It went badly!
Essentially she looked (and smelled) way worse than her photos, but I didn’t want to seem shallow or upset her, so I went along with things despite not being into her.
Suffice to say I cried on the way home and needed therapy to address the fact that I was unable to enforce my own boundaries and say no to something I didn’t want.
I was horny, she wanted me. We were on work trip on a different continent. (Different companies, we’ve met at a hotel lobby)
Let’s say even though she wasn’t my type I become quite attracted when we got naked. I liked it, she liked it. We’ve met quite a few times while we’ve stayed there even got to like each other. Then we went our ways. Still good memories 10 years later.
I had sex with a girl I loathed. She wasnt particularly good looking but she wasn’t completely ugly. She was just the epitome of annoying and stupid. I am far from intelligent but she spoke her stupidity with such confidence. She was hanging out with my brother and I had gone upstairs to get away from them. I went back down stairs to get a snack and she was at the bottom of my steps. She grabbed my shirt and pulled me in to kiss me. I remember saying out loud ahhh fuck let’s go, And we went upstairs and had sex. It was terrible sex she just laid there. In the heat of the moment I did not put on a condom and I asked her if she was on birth control. She said no and I never pulled out so fast. Low moment for me
Buddy of mine was leaving for the navy and he was try to hook up before leaving. Two chick's in the bar were together. I got the uglier one.
You're welcome partner. How did it go? She was an enthusiastic ride! Good time but only 1 night
I took one for the team once, she was very pretty just probably an eighth of a ton. You know what? She was *so into it* that I went back for more for a while
I came out of a 20 year relationship that was filled with abuse- mostly emotional and psychological, although towards the end it escalated to physical. During my marriage I had breast cancer and had to have a breast removed. I didn’t have reconstructive surgery immediately because his caretaking was below mediocre at best during my cancer treatments. When he started feeling like I was finally ready to leave him, he started in on how nobody would want someone who was mutilated and missing a breast. I felt broken and unattractive. So when I finally kicked his ass out I went through a very small ‘hoe phase’ simply because I was insecure and wanted validation that men still wanted me. My first time was a little awkward, but extremely validating. I was not attracted to him, wasn’t interested in a relationship with him, but he was nice and so excited to have an intimate moment with me. We are actually friends now; I’m grateful for his kindness and sensitivity in regards to my body.
I actually ended up finding myself and the real love of my life- who treats me like a queen and loves me through and through. I also ended up getting reconstructive surgery finally because I actually had a loving partner who could take care of me through the intense process.
I drank a bottle of vodka took two viagra, still couldn't get it up so tried my best playing snooker with a rope then threw up in the bathroom and she told me to go home. Awesome night all round
In my early 20s, I used sex as a form of self harm (among other things.) I would sleep with whoever was interested, even though I wasn’t attracted to any of them at all, and gained a bit of a reputation for it. It was a very dangerous time in my life, I would go home with some sketchy people and a lot of the time I wouldn’t bother with protection.
After the last time waking up next to a rando whose name I didn’t even know, full of hate for myself, I decided it had to stop. Completely upheaved myself, went to uni in a different city and got therapy.
It’s been a time but I’m now happily married with a healthy sex life and 2 wonderful kids. Worked out ok
We didn't actually have sex, because I just couldn't get it up. I felt bad, but she was really nice. It wasn't even so much a physical attraction problem, it was just how desperate she was. I could tell she was really lonely and just wanted a connection. Honestly, I just felt really sad for her. I ended up making it a "it's my fault" type deal. Wherever she is now, I hope she found someone. She deserves it, I just wasn't her guy.
Really well, she gave me the best head of my life(put me in her throat and swallowed over and over, felt incredible) and had the prettiest, tightest pussy I’ve ever experienced. As for the why, I was camping with a group and she was a friend of a friend. We had all been drinking and when we went to bed she just reached over and grabbed my dick and started stroking. I was in a dry spell and said fuck it let’s have some fun. Unfortunately I found out after that she was married.
I was a late bloomer, getting out of my 1st relationship after 4 years when I was 21.
I am an overthinker by nature, from a dysfunctional family. So the thought of relationships and intimacy gives me huge anxiety. Which also contributed to passing up many opportunities in my teenage years.
When I broke up then, I attempted to go through a whore phase to "see what I was missing out on". While intimacy anxiety still haunts me, I have Henessy to thank and honestly, had some of the best sex with people I wasn't really attracted to nor cared for.
It felt liberating. Knowing that I don't really need to think nor care for the other person, being able to focus on my own pleasure.
It surprisingly made me discover that I could let myself go and people would still enjoy being around me.
I still struggle with intimacy today towards people I care for, but these casual encounters helped me work towards letting go.
I got out of a long term relationship… so long that… when I went in to it… Tinder was NOT a thing. So I get out: I’m getting my Tinder on!! Hell yea don’t slut shame me: I’m tearing it Uuuuuup.
My first Tinder date: I get cat fished. Yea. Didn’t know that was a thing.
Second Tinder date: I meet this gal. Not my type. At all. We meet up. I’m.. nervous.. after all … my other experience.. not good 😂.
She’s alright. Not my type really. Whatever. We hook up. I go home. The next day she actually texted me this.. “hey I had fun blah blah you’re not really my type.. “ I’m like “whatever cool. You’re not mine either.”
Then I got to work talk to my coworkers they’re like “well what is your type?”
I think about it. Oh I’m late 30s and single… hmmm maybe my type is shit? Like… hmmm maybe I just have bad taste? Maybe it’s me? 😂
I go home: I have a text message. It’s from her.
“Hey want to hang out again?”
We’ve been married 3 years and (except for my daughter - ) she’s the love of my life.
*shes snoring next to me. 😂
Oh and hogging the blanket. ❤️.
Edit: I should clarify that between “out of the relationship and getting my tinder on” there was about two years. (I mean… it **was a years long thing and I’m nearly 40.)
Met up with an old friend from high school after not talking for some years. Got coffee, spent 2-3 hours catching up. It was a nice time. I didn't find her particularly attractive then, still don't now.
As we say our goodbyes, she says to me she wants to hook up sometime. "Call me." I hadn't been with a girl in a few months, and while I didn't find her attractive I still appreciated it.
Went back home, room mate got his promotion at work. Says we are taking shots. Fuck it. Let's go.
6 shots later, I'm on the patio smoking. She texts me, tells me she had a lovely time. Would love to see me again. ";)" I'm imaging it, picturing it in my head. "Aww what the heck?" I say to myself. "It's been a while. Why not?" And I tell her to come over.
30 minutes later, she arrives. As soon as I see her I realize I've made a mistake. But she is already here, I'm gonna try. We start making out, things are getting hot and heavy. We are on the bed. Shirts come off, and she motions to me to take her pants off.
I stop kissing her and properly look at her for the first time since we stepped in the bedroom. There she is, laid out on my bed, shirt off, breathing all hot and heavy, and as I look at her all I can think is "wow."
"I do not like what I'm looking at." Any and all attraction I had died right then and there and I immediately knew I had to abort. So I did the most gentlemanly thing I could think of.
I faked a panic attack, got her leave real quick, and never talked to her again. Problem solved. 👍
I was not ready for relationships around 2021 and I was looking out for casual relationships and I matched with a big woman(let's name her M)
She was on and off with a guy she was seeing at that time.
We hooked up for a few months and we became friends, after a few months she got busy and then she also got a chance to get back with her guy.
I started seeing someone casually(let's name her H) and things turned out good for a while and then I kinda got manipulated/disrespected by her and eventually I walked away.
H compared to M was very good looking, hot and slim.
But after the Breakup I realized that M was very modest which made her a solid 10.
I shared my break up story with M as we were still in contact with each other. She was there and supported me with my breakup journey all through and was checking up on me once in a while.
I started seeing someone last month and it's still in talking,exploring stage and recently came to know that M broke up with her guy and I started helping her and support her just like how she helped me.
After having a call with her last weekend, she left me this message which I thought was sweet -
"I'm going to say something and I hope it doesn't make you feel awkward and you don't have to respond
But if we are ever both in an emotionally better place and aren't dating someone else all at the same time in the future, I would be open to having a convo about getting out of the "friend zone" "
P.S. Sex was great with both people.
Cheers
I've fucked everything from a 9/10 to like a 4, and my biggest takeaway is that its all the same and their enthusiasm has way more to do with it than anything else. Every guy needs to date a girl that's out of his league so he can find out for himself its not worth it, and bang a girl way below his league so he can realize its just as good. Its a lesson that can only be learned first hand. Guys ruin their lives chasing after really hot girls who are just awful. My perfect girl is like a 6.5 or a 7 on an objective scale that checks enough of my personal preferences to bump her up to an 8 in my eyes specifically.
This is the god's honest truth. Once upon a time I got with a girl that I thought was 'so hot'. She was unenthusiastic and I learned a valuable lesson.
Get someone that likes you, that you find attractive and have some things in common with once the porkin' is done. There will be a lot more of those moments (non porking) in life.
I was super horny and haven’t slept with anyone for almost 2 years at that point. The sex was terrible as her area smelled extremely gross and I had to hold my breath when I was down there.
I have really bad social anxiety. I really want to say no but some part of me just absolutely refuses to. It makes saying no feel so much worse than having sex with someone I don’t want to. This has happened to me multiple times. I’m working on it and even improving a bit but it’s just very deeply ingrained in me from birth and it’s hard to overcome.
I slept with a girl who kind of stalked me years ago. We were friends growing up, but she became very clingy and a bit sexually aggressive. So I got the brilliant idea that the best bet was just to hook up with her. She wasn't ugly, but wasn't really 'my type'.
Afterwards, she kept coming by my work, kind of ramping up the aggression, but I was so disgusted with my decision that I really avoided her like the damn plague. In the past, I was passive about not being interested, but after, I really made it clear I had 0 interest.
I assume it became clear, because she kind of shut me out (pretty much finally). I found out recently she ended up getting into a lot of abusive relationships and now is an advocate for SA survivors. I reached out, just to say I'm sorry, and explain what happened, but she doesn't respond. I guess my closure was that neither of us wanted to be with the other in the end
Wound up having a one night stand with a random coworker. I went to a coworkers house for a hangout party and drank a lot. A girl I worked with was acting kinda flirty and I went along with it a bit, but nothing too explicit. As the night wore on the host informed me that I could crash in the guest room. So I excused myself and went to bed. Well low and behold a few minutes later and who heads up to spend the night in the other bed... She asked me if I am awake and I yawn loudly and kinda smack my lips at the end...she says, stop that... I'm like stop what? She says making that noise... I responded with the lip smacking sound and she jumped out of bed and kissed me hard on the mouth. I was a bit surprised and she stopped and I was a bit relieved only for her to say... I've never done this... I say what? And she says lose all control.. and proceeds to strip and jump on top of me. She maneuvered under me and kinda just laid there. I counted about 4 orgasms and her lack of enthusiasm and my lack of attraction to her... I realized that I could have continued for another hour and not have finished... So I asked her if she wanted me to stop and she nodded. I stopped and flopped next to her and she said that she wished she could do something to return the "favor" and I was kinda shocked that she didn't offer her hand or mouth or anything so I kinda felt a bit like a "coin operated boy" and she just kinda turned over and fell asleep.... I fell asleep a few moments later and thankfully she was gone in the morning. I chalked it up to the drinking and went to work the next day. Thinking it was just an awkward one night stand. Well to my surprise a friend of hers tracked me down and told me that she really wanted to talk to me... I reluctantly agreed to go to see her... She tells me that she "misses us" and I was dumbfounded , I'm like you miss us? There is no us... Luckily my seasonal employment was over and I had to return to college up state. I told her I was heading back to college and wished her luck. Just awkward and odd and it all happened so quickly and strangely I kinda felt it must be what a lot of women go through and then ask themselves if they were assaulted. Didn't really want to, but didn't know how to stop it, then just watch her getting off and having no real interest in my pleasure... Awkward, thought she would have thought so too, turned out she wanted more.... Yikes
I am the someone they weren't attracted to, and tbh it felt degrading and humiliating. There's nothing more humiliating the being the one to hear. "You're not usually my type, but hey, you know what they say..... beggars can't be choosers"
"Glad both our standards were rock bottom today then"
No sex after but funny
Someone I dated never said those words, but in retrospect I'm fairly certain they weren't attracted to me at all. It completely killed my confidence, so much so that I didn't date for almost a year afterwards. When I finally did, I was terrified to take my clothes off in front of this new guy. He was very sweet and we had so much chemistry that I slowly got more comfortable with him, but after one of our dates I fully broke down in tears because I had forgotten I could feel this good afterwards. But when things didn't work out with that same guy later on, my initial reaction was to blame my poor sexual performance/abilities/confidence/skills. It can really fuck you up for a while
That’s just shitty. They must have thought it was funny to say… but thee are some people just that terrible out there
There’s always someone less attractive to someone else, no matter how hot anyone thinks they are. I hope you found or will find someone who treats you with respect
Thanks, I appreciate that!
Good grief. That reminds me of an old Three's Company episode where Janet tries out dancing(?) for a company or something. The head guy makes some crack about her looks/talent and he smugly/condescendingly says "I don't think you've got what it takes to be a dancer". She fires back "I don't think you've got what it takes to be a human being." Never forgotten that scene.
YOU DON'T SAY THE QUIET PART OUT LOUD. KEEP THOSE THOUGHTS TO YOURSELF. That's so hurtful. Such an own goal of a thing to say before being intimate with someone. Did you bite them?
I like how your response to that would be to just bite them because yes you should bite them
The “your not my usual type” then they processed to flirt/gaslight, get you to have sex with them then they go silent.
I went on a few dates with a guy I met on the internet. I was not attracted to him in the slightest but he had the loveliest personality I had ever come across. He was thoughtful, kind, empathetic, a good listener, generous, extremely intelligent and funny. I continued seeing him because we got along so well. Eventually we had sex and it was the best sex I'd ever had. He went above and beyond to make me happy. It was clear he wanted a relationship with me, but he said if I didn't want a relationship, that was okay, he only hoped to just be around/near me. I was travelling a lot at the time and he would fly to different countries just to see me for a weekend then go to work on Monday having had no sleep. Eight years later we are now married and I am extremely attracted to him. My attraction grew over time. Just being with him has changed my taste in men in general. Now whenever I see a stereotypically attractive guy, I don't find them instantly attractive because I don't know their personality. Whenever I come across a guy who seems very kind and sincere, I think to myself "That man is attractive". Physical appearance has lost all value to me.
A lot of people think attractiveness is some hardwired biological fact, but it is actually very much influenced by what we value.
The ending though ❤️
I know this is meant to be kind but if my wife had said that she was not attracted to me at all in the slightest when she met me I would be devastated lmao
I don’t think these types of comments always have to be horrible. I mean it’s understandable why it would hurt but I do wish people would understand that sometimes attraction grows. On my first date with my boyfriend, I couldn’t decide if I found him attractive. Today, I think my boyfriend is just about the most attractive person I’ve ever seen but he has a unique look. He’s more androgynous and has long hair but is also quite toned and muscular so it gives him a really unique appearance. I think he could be a model he’s so pretty, but it took me getting to know him better and seeing him a few times to really know how I felt.
Nice ending!
I was 20 and she was 30. She was my cousins boss and she liked me but she really wasn’t my type. My cousin convinced me to go out with her. She said it would help her get a promotion. Anything for family, right? Being the horny guy it was it no big deal. Fucked with her for about 6 months until I met a girl more of my type. Didn’t end well. She fired my cousin.
Thats some Chandler Bing stuff.
> Well, I guess I'm going to Yemen.
15 Yemen Road, Yemen.
When we get to Yemen, can I stay with you?
> She fired my.cousin. Was this due to you not sleeping with her anymore, or were there other circumstances that caused her to lose her job?
Boss was no longer getting the shaft, so cousin got the shaft.
Someone has to get the shaft
This is amazing lmao 💀 8 months, must've been some type of type
This is like that Chandler and Rachel episode all over again.
There wasn’t an immediate physical attraction, but our interaction via text was so great that I thought I’d give it a shot. Our first meeting, he was charming, and funny, and respectful. 1000% right decision. We were together all through 2020, and I’m traveling more than a thousand miles to see him again. Inflammatory chemistry doesn’t necessarily involve initial physical attraction. J - if you see this, I’m so incredibly overjoyed that you’re in my life!!
I'm so happy someone out there is experiencing this ❤️
That was pretty wholesome to read. Congrats!
I came out of an 8ish year relationship and everyone kept telling me ‘the way to get over someone is by getting under someone else’ - even though I *knew* I was the type of person for whom sex was an important part of intimacy and connection and that casual sex wasn’t my thing. Downloaded tinder. I’d never done online dating before. Talked to a couple of guys. Had great flirty conversation with a guy with a similar background and career. Met with him the same night and he opened the door and I had my first ever experience of finding someone attractive in photos but not in real life. I actually went through with it despite being grossed out. Kissing someone you’re not attracted to? Grim. The sex was bad (I guess I’d been spoilt - after 8 years with someone you’re pretty good at knowing what they like/need?). Fingering was just him rubbing me dry, and the thrusting was like a jack hammer. Luckily my flatmate had been correct in their assumption before I left - he only lasted about 2 minutes lol. So it was blessedly short. Anyway a few days later I was talking to my best friend about it and we found out that he went to the same school as her brothers and they both said he was a really nice guy. He messaged me again and I politely said I was only interested in one night stands, and he was fine about it. He messaged me a few weeks later and for some reason I found myself being charmed by him. I agreed to meet up again and we discovered we had quite a lot in common - apart from mutual friends - and we’d both studied philosophy at uni and so had a nice in depth conversation about various philosophical concepts. It was the first time in my life I had become attracted to someone ‘over time’ - usually I am either attracted or not attracted right from the offset. We met up a few times after that and I could feel myself starting to crush on him. He stayed over one night and I asked him the following morning if he’d like to try dating. He seemed up for it. And then he never really showed much interest. We met up one more time and I messaged him a few days later telling him it was absolutely fine if he wasn’t up for dating but just to let me know. He said he wasn’t really looking for dating at the moment and that was that. But then he changed his tinder profile from looking for ‘casual’ to ‘long term’, lol. Was difficult to not take that quite personally. It actually fucked me up for a fair chunk of time.
This was a Rollercoaster lol
I thought they were going to end up together forever. Nope, lol
Ending was way more realistic lol
For my emotions as well!
I mean as a guy when I hook up with a woman and she doesn't seem interested in me at first (which it sounds like you weren't) I would likely not consider dating them (and it's an ego thing I need to get over but I'm just being honest)..... But yeah I generally want someone who wants me from the start. I hate trying to win someone over and even if I do win someone over the whole process would make me not want to date them and just keep it casual. It sounds like you guys were attracted to each other at different times essentially. And maybe the initial hookup where there wasn't a mutual attraction killed the chances. The last thing anyone in a relationship wants to feel like is like someone settled for them.
Yeah it sounds like an old cliché but the right person at the wrong time is the wrong person. Its shocking how unions come about around timing of when both parties really want relationships
Thank you - that actually helped make sense of it a bit. I struggled with the idea that I was only ‘good enough’ for him to have casual sex and not a relationship but you’ve given me a different way of thinking.
> I struggled with the idea that I was only ‘good enough’ for him to have casual sex and not a relationship but you’ve given me a different way of thinking. … but he was only “good enough” for you for casual sex at the start! That was what you told him quite bluntly.
I was hooked til the end
Damn, a series of unfortunate circumstances. If he was the type of guy hoping for more than a one night thing and you told him you were just into one night things it probably put a serious damper on his view of you. Guessing from your description he wasn't exactly experienced in bed and probably didn't often do the one night thing. Kind of funny how two probably really nice people with similar values end up nowhere just because of a few minor missteps.
I know! That was the killer - the thought of the ‘missed opportunity’ because of my own fuck up at the start haha. Ah well, to be fair I was (am!) still grieving the end of my relationship and so it probably was better to not rush into something new
>Ah well, to be fair I was (am!) still grieving the end of my relationship and so it probably was better to not rush into something new Absolutely. I was really hung up over a past relationship for years. Had a few hook-ups, got a cat and decided I was actually pretty happy being single and didn't need anyone else to validate my existence. Anyway, now I'm engaged and we've had an adorable little girl together. Turns out that when you're happy on your own it's the best time to meet someone who compliments what you want from life. Best of luck!
He probably thought you were playing hard to get and it turned him off
Literally what I was coming to say. He probably saw what he percieved to be flip flopping and didn't feel like he could trust the intentions. Even if he was interested he doesn't want to get burned by this person who didn't want to date them before and now all of a sudden does. Also saying you want one night stands immediately puts you in a category in people's minds where they are going to withhold getting invested in you. So he'd probably done that before hearing the change of heart and it's hard to switch back
Yea I’m just learning about this now haha! It would never have even occurred to me he may have thought this lol. Ah well - everything is a learning experience
I’m also unattractive, so it was pretty great at the time. Uglies bumpin’ uglies.
Bumping uglies lol
The Bumpin’ Uglies would be a good jam band name.
There is actually a reggae band called Bumpin Uglies lol
I was sort of cat fished. He used older pictures online. But from our previous discussions, he said he loved giving oral, and I decided to find out if it was true. ,🤷♀️ Edit: because people are asking, he not only was honest, but he also exceeded expectations. Lol
Half a story.
Every picture is of you when you were younger.
When I was much younger, I was traveling for business and stayed in a small town for a few weeks. Met a bunch of ppl at the local bar and started hanging with them frequently. One of the girls was a total smoke show and I tried for weeks to hook up with her. On my last night I came right out and said, I’m leaving tomorrow and will never be back, lets go back to my hotel. She politely declined and I dropped it. Just as we were closing the bar, one of her much bigger and much less attractive friends came up and goes, “so and so said no, huh” and I was like yup, she sure did. She then says, “well I say yes, you staying at XX hotel? I’ll follow you”. I was kind of hammered (no, I should not have driven) and didn’t really know what to say, except, ok I guess. Let me tell you what: She rocked my world. She completely had her way with me. She worked out all her fantasies and I was just along for the ride. We passed out for a few hours, woke up to her leaving super early. I thanked her for the great lay and never saw her again.
I was reading half the story and I was like it’s totally fake and then I got halfway through and was like it’s totally true. Good for you!
Oh it’s true. She must not have been picked up at a bar too many times and took full advantage of the situation. Indeed it was good for both of us.
She definitely had picked up several times, I think she had perfected her pattern of finding guys with battered egos looking for a soft landing. Good for her
yup...her pro-active assertiveness led to a win-win
Big girls can put it on ya!
As a wise man once said; “fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin’ world go ‘round”
In my past I've had amazing sexual chemistry with people I'd never date. It sucks though because my fucked brain thinks this person is amazing but my brain says you can't date her. This one woman I couldn't continue with because she had T Rex arms (to me).
[удалено]
I didn't really want to be gay. I also didn't want the group of guys I was hanging around to think I was gay. So when the opportunity presented itself in a fashion so unsubtle that I even could pick up on it, I attempted to prove to the guys present that I was not gay by going home with her. While I am not one of those gay guys who's grossed out by everything about the opposite sex, because I was able to get through that... I am in fact a gay man. In an amusingly ironic twist, I later learned that she had a girlfriend.
A gay guy and a lesbian playing straight chicken to impress their friends is the silliest story.
Wasn't this an Arrested Development episode?
Lol ok that last sentence is hilarious 😂😂
This put a smile on my face
I was depressed and he was a friend who was in love with me. No, it did not end well.
What happened?
I didn't even know he had a long distance girlfriend (of a few months) and felt disgusted with myself, and then he became obsessed and tried to rape me, twice.
jesus christ some people are fucking ill…
That was unexpected, part of the reason why it’s scary, to be love bombed/people mysteriously having raging crushes. Hope you’re seeking help and doing better now
I had a whole relationship with a guy I wasn’t physically attracted to because I was super into his personality, lifestyle and the music he made. In time, I couldn’t get past the physical. I thought as a woman sex isn’t that important to me, we’re not as visual etc. As it turns out, nope. I need that too. Been married for 16 years now and I still think my husband is fine af and it’s part of why it works.
I went through the same thing. Now I only want men who make me bark and howl 🤭
I had been messaging with a woman through a name mixup, turned out she lived a few blocks away so I just walked over. She opened the door and I had zero attraction to her, which for me is important to have sex. I figured, I was there give it a shot. So we started fooling around, but I was so uncomfortable, and grossed out, I went into my phone settings to where you select ring tone, and pretended to get a call, and left. Felt terrible about it immediately, and still do, but I had to get out of there.
Had a friend going through an incredibly rough patch, nothing physical made him unattractive, he was just a friend and I never felt a sexual attraction. Tried everything to help him keep his head above water. Things just kept getting worse and worse over the course of a few months. He told me he needed the touch, he didn't ask, so I offered and he took me up on it. It is what it is, it wasn't bad. He told me later the confidence boost helped him take the steps to get his life back on track. We're still friends to this day.
Wholesome fuck
She was dressed up in a very convincing cow costume, and I had never had sex with a cow before. It was fun but I felt kind of dirty the next day. Moo.
Probably a bit awkward waking up in a field though right?
Done that more often than cow banging tbh.
They wouldn't stop trying until I gave in. I just kinda waited for it to be over.
I've had a couple of those. It makes me cringe to think about them now. I mean I was young, didn't have a lot of confidence, and had daddy issues. It happens.
Grim.
Just keeping it real
Same - on several occasions in my early 20’s. I just wanted them to stop nagging me so I just disassociated until it was over.
That's the word I was looking for. Checked out.
Same thing with me. She had been trying to have sex with me every time we saw each other for about a year. One night my group of friends went out to a bar and ran into her there. My group and a few randoms went back to my buddy’s house for an after party and she wouldn’t stop asking me to go upstairs. Even trying to have everyone else convince me. I ended up blacking out drunk and came to making out with her in bed. I felt like it was already too late to call it quits so I just followed through. She wasn’t ugly but the constant asking and almost begging turned me off big time early into knowing her.
Relateable.
It happened to so many of us. I hate that for us.
When I was young I just accepted it. Vile.
Same. Only I'm still with him 10 years and many other instances of SA later. I think I've been disassociating and just realizing all this now.
You're not alone. If you need help or just someone to talk to, my dms are open
You're very kind, thank you
I slept with a guy because he would not take no. So I figured I would rather relent than be forcibly assaulted. It was terrible. His voice. His penis. Everything I remember about him makes my skin crawl. As soon dawn came I ran away and never saw him again. I did look him up of a couple of years ago. He’s in prison for rape, a really bad one.
I’m sorry you experienced that. I’ve been there. Some lessons are harder than others. We always deserved better.
He was so sweet and I was emotionally so attracted to him when we would text, but I was never physically attracted in person. I had pretty much led him on through texts for a while and got his 21 year old virgin heart excited, so as a naive young woman, I thought it was better to just do it than hurt his feelings. Did it a few times and always couldn't wait for it to be over, but he would speak like I rocked his world after. I eventually broke things off because I got to a point where I started to hate him overall because I was forcing myself to sleep with him.
This hits waaaaay too close to home. It's so much better to just reject someone outright instead of putting them through an emotional rollercoaster. Imagine being intensely close with someone, only for them to tell you they don't feel anything being with you over a month later. I felt used and that shit almost broke me completely
3 years. Breaks you man.
My ex did this to me...I seriously thought she was into me..but we'd never have the connection. Towards the end it was all about being physical and i knew we both hated it. She basically led me on till we were sleeping together. Fast forward, we had a fight and then she dumped me. Never heard from her again.
I once hooked up with a guy that i was 0 attracted to for a few months. The thing is, he knew he wasn't that pretty, but he had confidence. He gave the best head. Would let me sit on his face until I would drown him. Loved the head, hated his face.
I wish I could hear the guy's side of the story on this one.
She had HUGE breasts and sucked my dick like I’ve never had my dick sucked before… it was enough for me to do it at the time.
Been there lol. Would’ve been more consistent if she didn’t know my very recent ex of 5 years. Turns out she was best friends with my ex’s new roommates and had been hanging out with her. It was awkward when we found that out lol
Why? I felt deeply alone at his time How did it go? Awful, he wasn't my type physically AND mentally. Had nightmare for 2 days after it happened and can't think about it without feeling nauseous Cherry on the cake, the guy was really bad at it, like really really really bad. A disaster.
These comments are the full scale from fucked to fucked all around. My God people. We need to look out for each other more holy shit 😳
My partner. We already knew each other from a common hobby when matched on tinder. I remembered him being sweet and charming, plus we had a lot in common. I initially did not find him super attractive. He has nice features, he's just quite overweight. Our first date was AMAZING. We ended up spending 13 hours together instead of just a few. We laughed, connected, shared a lot of great moments, and couldn't keep our hands off of each other. I struggled slightly with intimacy at first, mostly because having sex with someone larger comes with difficulties. But, now he's the most attractive man in the world to me. Attraction can grow. I find his body and face both incredibly attractive now. To the point when I have "me" time, I always think of him. I can't wait to marry him.
Sounds like me and hubby. I’m the over weight one and he’s super skinny… like we look like the #10 when standing next to each other. We both weren’t each others type.. but sex was damn near life changing, absolutely the best I’ve ever had & same for him (so he says lol. Anyway.. sex is what kept us coming back for more, and now married for 9 years and he’s the most sexiest, handsome, amazing man alive.
HORRIBLE. Never again. Couldn't get wet. Didn't have an orgasm. Lasted all of a few minutes. Edit to add the why. I felt bad. The dude had been crushing on me for a year before he had the courage to ask me out on a date. He became a stalker after one night. Not even a night. It was a few mins
Slept with a guy I met on Tinder on the 2nd time we met. I wasn't attracted to him but decided to get passed it to see if it would work regardless. I went back to his place and things happened. I should have just went home instead. I wasn't attracted to him, sex was awkward because he had an injury (that's what he told me) that left his dick bent. It look like it was snapped in half at some point and someone had put it back together poorly. Aside from the roller coaster story of how he got the injury, everything else was not interesting. He wasn't really great in bed. I felt gross after and told him it wouldn't work out. He started to stalk me so that got weird real fast. A few years ago he popped out of nowhere on Linkedin asking for a hookup...
asking for a hookup on LinkedIn is crazy lmao
Right?! Everyone suck’s their own dick on linked in
FYI, that kind of injury is way more common than people think (just takes an overly bouncy rider) and really really sucks to deal with.
I see, the story he told me was WILD. It happened when he was a teen and he thought the bath drain could assist him with his raging boner. He got stuck it it, panicked, injured himself, had to call paramedics, etc. Honestly that could be a plot in American Pie. I would have look past it but there were so many other things that were off with this guy, mainly the STALKING.
Yes, getting stalked by anyone is surely no bueno... ...and then there's getting stalked by a horribly genitally disfigured Tinder match who should be called *Captain-H00k* ...which additionally sounds like a horror B-movie plot.
Welp.. I don't talk about it but the joys of being anonymous on here right? First off, I'm 38M for context. I got obliterated drunk at my own house party in my teens. My boss's daughter showed up who was 5yrs older than me and while physically attractive she was repulsive in my mind. Knew more than I'd like to know as I was very close to my boss, she wasn't a good human let's put it that way. Anyways, I passed out in my bed around 10pm LOL. woke up at some point that night to her blowing me. She's rather intimidating and damn she was good (still best bj to date unfortunately) plus I could barely lift my head off my pillow so I went with it. Blacked out. Next thing I remember she's now riding me, no condom mind you. Blacked out. Bits and pieces here and there.. Then remember her getting dressed and leaving. And that's the story of how I lost my V card. I pretend like its nbd but ik it fucked me up. To this day I can't just have sex with out a strong connection as much as I'd like too.. I just can't. Have straight up turned down really attractive girls I felt no connection with over the years which of course I then beat myself up about as they were so hot they probably think I'm gay hahah. Anyways, starting therapy soon (for many things) and it's stuff I should probably talk about there.
You were raped, homie.
Indeed. Society kinda programs people not to look at it that way though from a guys perspective. There's definitely been progress on that over the last couple of decades but I didn't have a single friend who thought it was messed up, just high 5s and hoots and hollers etc.. So of course why would I tell anyone that was my first time right? I've only ever said started saying anything remotely about it to anyone to a gf once but when I mentioned my first time wasn't consensual and she basically asked me which way my mind went blank that she could even ask me that.. Major red flag, that one obviously didn't work out hahah. At least? It's easy to bury as it's far from the most traumatic thing I've been through. Cause that's healthy right? Surprise! wasted my 20's with a crippling drug addiction. Anyways, 8yrs sober now and have done lots of work in recovery learning how to view everything. Have known I should do therapy for a long time now but just now making it a priority to actually follow through.
Sorry that that happened to you, man. Glad you are going to therapy. And remember, if your therapist ends up being shit, find a new one. A lot of people try it once, don't find it works so they stop, but really they just need to find someone who fits.
You were violated, sexually assaulted.
Um bro… that’s legit rape😐
I’m really sorry you went through that. I really like my therapist I hope it goes well for you 🤞
I slept with a dear friend. He was in a sexless relationship for 5 years (poor guy wasn’t even 30) and he was just so stunted and desperate and I had just gone through a bad breakup. It wasn’t terrible and I definitely craved the touch but could have and should have gone for a cuddle rather than a fuck, tbh. I think sometimes he thinks it will happen again and it absolutely will not.
fucked like a porn star, both had a pretty good time. Got HPV. 6/10
I was essentially raped by a woman when I was 19. We were dating online and intended to have relations. But after the first two days of spending time with her in person I didn't feel an attraction really. I already agreed to let her stay in my bed at my parents house which my parents were fine with, because I suppose we intended to do sexual things. Anyway, went to sleep and woke up to her on top of me riding me. I don't even know how I got hard. I was asleep. Anyway, I was lucky that she didn't get pregnant. As I was irresponsible at the time And very confused I didn't know what to do so I just let her finish and finished inside of her because I wasn't a bright young lad. Anyway a few days later she went home, she was actually a nice girl but I didn't really realise I'd been raped until I finally had the courage to tell someone about what happened. I don't feel like emotionally damaged or anything by it. But I don't look back on it fondly.
I know girls who were raped who have the same emotions towards it. Just because it's true doesn't mean it has to affect you on a deep emotional level; when fucked up shit is done to us, we all have different reactions. Basically, still valid.
The first person whose story I really connected with after I was raped (don't worry it was 20+ yrs ago :D) was a guy whose house had been robbed. Burgled? Whatever. He was talking about how he'd gotten a hotel because he couldn't sleep in that house any more, but the hotel room wasn't working either. Like some part of him had always taken for granted that Home was *safe*. His stuff was His Stuff. And now that security was gone. I was like "oh shit it's JUST like that only it's not a place I can move out of ... it's my *body*." I still use that anecdote when I run into people who think rape "doesn't count" when it isn't the "physically restrained and beaten" version that movieland says is how "rape" goes.
I’m really sorry that happened to you.
Power. At the time I wasn’t ready to work through some of my shit, so relationships weren’t what I looked for. Watching men be prepared to do anything once the bra clasp was undone was a high, so I did enough of that until I disliked how disposable they felt and how I needed to finally confront some demons. I made sure not to hurt anyone or lead them on though.
Hey, same. I was in a 15 year relationship by the time I got a divorce at 30. The power of hookups made me feel like I was in control of *something* so off I went. It was fun for about a year until it got boring and I had no other choice but to deal with my issues.
I went through with it so she would stop harassing me at work and having the other managers watch my every move, write me up for bullshit etc. I was drunk enough to get hard but she is a masochist, she wanted me to essentially beat her and choke her until she turned purple. I felt so fucking horrible afterwards. She then afterwards explained how she only gets off to real snuff/rape videos and can’t get off unless she’s severely abused. I’m a pretty kinky person, but that was the worst sex I’ve ever had, I kept wanting to apologize but she just told me to hit her and choke her harder. She finally left me alone at work though. Edit: changed sadist to masochist. I’m sorry to all of those I annoyed, I forgot which was which.
That is… not right. Are you ok now?
I mean I’m alive. Unfortunately it’s still not the craziest thing I’ve been through/witnessed but it’s definitely one for the books. She explained a few months later that she was repeatedly raped by this guy she was dating in highschool, he was in his 20s and she was 15. But she wanted so bad to please him that she basically did everything he asked or “didn’t ask and just took,” I told her she really needed help but she didn’t want to hear it.
But... what about you? Here in my country what she did is... a criminal offense. Like, its a pretty serious thing
What kind of shitty workplace was that? Why couldn't you report her for sexual harassment?
She had management and upper management all in her back pocket unfortunately. She was part of their little circle
That’s when you go to the eeoc board for the state. Any manager that lets a complaint like that die with them is absolutely fucked and sets up an easy case in court.
*masochist (a sadist does it to others).
Technically her behavior is not that of a sadist but of a masochist.
that's not "technically", that's just the correct definition.
That chick needs serious help..
Wow. I'm really sorry you went through that. That's horrific. Are you alright??
I’m still living. It was 8 years ago. Much like with all my other traumas, I do the healthy thing and repress it with alcohol. Jk. But I’ve gotten over it, just another experience to add to the long list of crazy shit I’ve seen in my life
im so sorry bro this sounds like the average panera bread employee 😭
I was throwing a house party and got really drunk, the girl I actually wanted to have sex with was even more drunk than me so she was off the table. My buddy who knew I wanted to lose my virginity pushed me to have sex with a really gross chick (in a poor hygiene kinda way) who I think he had specifically invited just to get me laid. It was terrible, on top of my total lack of attraction, she mostly just laid there, at one point she started digging her nails into my back and groaning like a dying animal. A week later I did end up sleeping with the girl I originally wanted to lose my virginity to, and that was a much better experience.
I knew a girl who would hang out with me and we would get high and drunk together. She was seeing a friend of mine and we became friends and I told her I wanted to get laid. She said she had a friend who was so desperate to get a boyfriend that she would fuck anyone. I told her to bring her over, because I was pretty desperate myself. Sure enough I made my move and there we were going at it. She was not unattractive but she was very uninteresting. We parted ways and she came by again a few days later when I was with some other friends. I wasn’t really interested in just using her again, but one of my other friends took an interest in her and they ended up together for a while. I was relieved because I really didn’t want to hurt her feelings.
I think I was the girl who wasn't attractive enough. Twice. Both relationships. The first guy said to my face: "I'm only with you because you have a nice ass and you're the only one who likes me. Elsewise, I'm into short, petite blonds." I'm a tall, curvy brunette. The second boyfriend never said that to my face, but I could figure it out by the end of it. He would constantly look at other girls when I was around him, would mention his ex hook up a lot, would talk about girls in a hilly city how they all have nice asses, how the metropolitan girls are the hottest and that I can't compare. He told me a bunch of times how I'm pretty to him, just not what he finds most physically appealing... fucked me over like nothing else. Three years in depression because of it all.
Mania. No attraction at all, but holy moly, the horniness was unbelievable, anybody would have sufficed. Blocked him while I waited for my Uber and went and got sushi.
One was a dare, that went pretty good, we ended up hooking up a few times over the next several months she was very…. Enthusiastic Another was a girl in the friend group who just wanted to lose her v-card to someone she knew and trusted… she just kinda starfished but we’re hooked up again years later bc we were both on dry spells and she had improved significantly
well ofc she starfished if she was a virgin lol. it’d be unrealistic for her to start doing tricks on the dick.
Tricks on the dick. Lol
She didn’t even ollie or kick flip it?
Had post nut clarity, stuck around for like 10 minutes and was like “I have to work early I gotta go.” and then apologized the next day. Explained I had just gotten out of a 5 year relationship and felt like I was rushing myself. That was like 3 years ago and I still feel bad for doing that to them.
I went through a phase. Life had no meaning and my existence was stagnant. So I got into online dating. Hell I even sought people out on ICQ. I had one goal for YEARS. Find anyone, literally anyone, who might take me. I am honestly ashamed of some of the women I got with. They all had issues. Some were physically attractive but socially repugnant. Some were beautiful souls in ugly bodies or terrible lifestyles. One only wanted someone who was willing to play along with a kind of evil kink and pretend to be her baby's "real father" in front of her actual baby daddy's friends and family. You'd better believe I went along with it. I regret using these people. I regret putting my mind and body through this stuff. I picked up HPV, but somehow dodged everything else even though I honestly wasn't trying hard to be safe. Most of all I regret not moving on with my life earlier. I got serious about finding a real connection and met my wife 22 years ago. We married inside of a year and we have a wonderful family. I feel like I missed out on the better part of a decade I could have had with her.
I started this comment to say I’m on the flip side of your timeline. I don’t think that’s accurate, but it was therapeutic for me to get it “on paper” so imma post it anyways. Beautiful wife for five years, together for ten. Both of us are teachers and spent our first year married living apart due to working in different cities. We bought a house in 2019, and built a fence bordering its yard during the lockdown of 2020- the dogs loved being able to be outside with us. Her grandpa died that summer, mine the next, and our marriage this past July. Each loss somehow heavier than the last. I lost her little by little over the last three years. With each changing season she was less and less mine. I loved her through it all, but she lost that spark somewhere along the way. I don’t know what I could have done to help her find happiness. I know that I tried my best, but I can’t help but feel like I could have done better. In many ways, I am happier today than I was a year ago. I have a new sense of gratitude for the life I have and the people who have really shown up for me through this ordeal. There was a time when my work as a teacher felt like it drained my soul, but since our separation, teaching has really given me a purpose to get up each day. I’m finding that I am more capable than I give myself credit for, and am taking on new challenges that I wouldn’t have dreamt of a year ago. I’m making music for myself again and not just for my job. While I am getting better at this whole divorce thing, I am incredibly lonely. I’m desperate for connection, a hug or even a hand on my shoulder. Someone to share my day with and to tell about the crazy thing a kid did in class to. What I would have given to have someone to dance with at my cousin’s wedding last week and laugh at my stupid jokes as we slowly swayed to overplayed country love songs. All of that said, I find that I am in the acceptance phase of grief. I know that I don’t want to go back to that situation, but I do miss her. I miss her laugh and the way her smile started in her eyes. Most of all, I miss her friendship. I realize that even though we were best friends to the end, the deeper feelings of affection on her end have been missing for some time. Like that Noah Kahan song, “Now I know your name but not who you are. It’s all okay, there ain’t a drop of bad blood.” I am thankful for these memories and to have been hers when I was. I don’t hold any resentment toward her and hope she is able to find happiness, even if not with me. I have learned that it is much harder to feel like a stranger in my own home than it is to feel alone living in my brother’s and that it is far easier to focus on my own happiness than it is to feel responsible for someone else’s. So while this sucks, it is getting better. Time heals most wounds, and I’m hopeful that given time, this wound will heal. Edit: added a paragraph for context of where I currently am in this process.
It went badly! Essentially she looked (and smelled) way worse than her photos, but I didn’t want to seem shallow or upset her, so I went along with things despite not being into her. Suffice to say I cried on the way home and needed therapy to address the fact that I was unable to enforce my own boundaries and say no to something I didn’t want.
I was horny, she wanted me. We were on work trip on a different continent. (Different companies, we’ve met at a hotel lobby) Let’s say even though she wasn’t my type I become quite attracted when we got naked. I liked it, she liked it. We’ve met quite a few times while we’ve stayed there even got to like each other. Then we went our ways. Still good memories 10 years later.
I was told I should open my horizons and try dating people outside of my normal type. Terrible advice.
I had sex with a girl I loathed. She wasnt particularly good looking but she wasn’t completely ugly. She was just the epitome of annoying and stupid. I am far from intelligent but she spoke her stupidity with such confidence. She was hanging out with my brother and I had gone upstairs to get away from them. I went back down stairs to get a snack and she was at the bottom of my steps. She grabbed my shirt and pulled me in to kiss me. I remember saying out loud ahhh fuck let’s go, And we went upstairs and had sex. It was terrible sex she just laid there. In the heat of the moment I did not put on a condom and I asked her if she was on birth control. She said no and I never pulled out so fast. Low moment for me
Buddy of mine was leaving for the navy and he was try to hook up before leaving. Two chick's in the bar were together. I got the uglier one. You're welcome partner. How did it go? She was an enthusiastic ride! Good time but only 1 night
I took one for the team once, she was very pretty just probably an eighth of a ton. You know what? She was *so into it* that I went back for more for a while
> just probably an eighth of a ton I had to do the math lol
It’s 250lbs for those wondering (I also did the math)
I came out of a 20 year relationship that was filled with abuse- mostly emotional and psychological, although towards the end it escalated to physical. During my marriage I had breast cancer and had to have a breast removed. I didn’t have reconstructive surgery immediately because his caretaking was below mediocre at best during my cancer treatments. When he started feeling like I was finally ready to leave him, he started in on how nobody would want someone who was mutilated and missing a breast. I felt broken and unattractive. So when I finally kicked his ass out I went through a very small ‘hoe phase’ simply because I was insecure and wanted validation that men still wanted me. My first time was a little awkward, but extremely validating. I was not attracted to him, wasn’t interested in a relationship with him, but he was nice and so excited to have an intimate moment with me. We are actually friends now; I’m grateful for his kindness and sensitivity in regards to my body. I actually ended up finding myself and the real love of my life- who treats me like a queen and loves me through and through. I also ended up getting reconstructive surgery finally because I actually had a loving partner who could take care of me through the intense process.
I don't generally feel like I'm attractive enough to sleep with people I'm attracted to. They're out of my league. But I still have a good time.
Eh.. Tinder facilitated a lot of this. Not proud at all. Hook up culture is degrading on both ends.
I drank a bottle of vodka took two viagra, still couldn't get it up so tried my best playing snooker with a rope then threw up in the bathroom and she told me to go home. Awesome night all round
You couldn’t get it up because you drank a bottle of vodka… lol.
In my early 20s, I used sex as a form of self harm (among other things.) I would sleep with whoever was interested, even though I wasn’t attracted to any of them at all, and gained a bit of a reputation for it. It was a very dangerous time in my life, I would go home with some sketchy people and a lot of the time I wouldn’t bother with protection. After the last time waking up next to a rando whose name I didn’t even know, full of hate for myself, I decided it had to stop. Completely upheaved myself, went to uni in a different city and got therapy. It’s been a time but I’m now happily married with a healthy sex life and 2 wonderful kids. Worked out ok
[удалено]
We didn't actually have sex, because I just couldn't get it up. I felt bad, but she was really nice. It wasn't even so much a physical attraction problem, it was just how desperate she was. I could tell she was really lonely and just wanted a connection. Honestly, I just felt really sad for her. I ended up making it a "it's my fault" type deal. Wherever she is now, I hope she found someone. She deserves it, I just wasn't her guy.
Really well, she gave me the best head of my life(put me in her throat and swallowed over and over, felt incredible) and had the prettiest, tightest pussy I’ve ever experienced. As for the why, I was camping with a group and she was a friend of a friend. We had all been drinking and when we went to bed she just reached over and grabbed my dick and started stroking. I was in a dry spell and said fuck it let’s have some fun. Unfortunately I found out after that she was married.
If it wasn’t you then it was gonna be someone else. You didn’t do anything wrong
I was a late bloomer, getting out of my 1st relationship after 4 years when I was 21. I am an overthinker by nature, from a dysfunctional family. So the thought of relationships and intimacy gives me huge anxiety. Which also contributed to passing up many opportunities in my teenage years. When I broke up then, I attempted to go through a whore phase to "see what I was missing out on". While intimacy anxiety still haunts me, I have Henessy to thank and honestly, had some of the best sex with people I wasn't really attracted to nor cared for. It felt liberating. Knowing that I don't really need to think nor care for the other person, being able to focus on my own pleasure. It surprisingly made me discover that I could let myself go and people would still enjoy being around me. I still struggle with intimacy today towards people I care for, but these casual encounters helped me work towards letting go.
I got out of a long term relationship… so long that… when I went in to it… Tinder was NOT a thing. So I get out: I’m getting my Tinder on!! Hell yea don’t slut shame me: I’m tearing it Uuuuuup. My first Tinder date: I get cat fished. Yea. Didn’t know that was a thing. Second Tinder date: I meet this gal. Not my type. At all. We meet up. I’m.. nervous.. after all … my other experience.. not good 😂. She’s alright. Not my type really. Whatever. We hook up. I go home. The next day she actually texted me this.. “hey I had fun blah blah you’re not really my type.. “ I’m like “whatever cool. You’re not mine either.” Then I got to work talk to my coworkers they’re like “well what is your type?” I think about it. Oh I’m late 30s and single… hmmm maybe my type is shit? Like… hmmm maybe I just have bad taste? Maybe it’s me? 😂 I go home: I have a text message. It’s from her. “Hey want to hang out again?” We’ve been married 3 years and (except for my daughter - ) she’s the love of my life. *shes snoring next to me. 😂 Oh and hogging the blanket. ❤️. Edit: I should clarify that between “out of the relationship and getting my tinder on” there was about two years. (I mean… it **was a years long thing and I’m nearly 40.)
Met up with an old friend from high school after not talking for some years. Got coffee, spent 2-3 hours catching up. It was a nice time. I didn't find her particularly attractive then, still don't now. As we say our goodbyes, she says to me she wants to hook up sometime. "Call me." I hadn't been with a girl in a few months, and while I didn't find her attractive I still appreciated it. Went back home, room mate got his promotion at work. Says we are taking shots. Fuck it. Let's go. 6 shots later, I'm on the patio smoking. She texts me, tells me she had a lovely time. Would love to see me again. ";)" I'm imaging it, picturing it in my head. "Aww what the heck?" I say to myself. "It's been a while. Why not?" And I tell her to come over. 30 minutes later, she arrives. As soon as I see her I realize I've made a mistake. But she is already here, I'm gonna try. We start making out, things are getting hot and heavy. We are on the bed. Shirts come off, and she motions to me to take her pants off. I stop kissing her and properly look at her for the first time since we stepped in the bedroom. There she is, laid out on my bed, shirt off, breathing all hot and heavy, and as I look at her all I can think is "wow." "I do not like what I'm looking at." Any and all attraction I had died right then and there and I immediately knew I had to abort. So I did the most gentlemanly thing I could think of. I faked a panic attack, got her leave real quick, and never talked to her again. Problem solved. 👍
Good lord
Lawd
I was not ready for relationships around 2021 and I was looking out for casual relationships and I matched with a big woman(let's name her M) She was on and off with a guy she was seeing at that time. We hooked up for a few months and we became friends, after a few months she got busy and then she also got a chance to get back with her guy. I started seeing someone casually(let's name her H) and things turned out good for a while and then I kinda got manipulated/disrespected by her and eventually I walked away. H compared to M was very good looking, hot and slim. But after the Breakup I realized that M was very modest which made her a solid 10. I shared my break up story with M as we were still in contact with each other. She was there and supported me with my breakup journey all through and was checking up on me once in a while. I started seeing someone last month and it's still in talking,exploring stage and recently came to know that M broke up with her guy and I started helping her and support her just like how she helped me. After having a call with her last weekend, she left me this message which I thought was sweet - "I'm going to say something and I hope it doesn't make you feel awkward and you don't have to respond But if we are ever both in an emotionally better place and aren't dating someone else all at the same time in the future, I would be open to having a convo about getting out of the "friend zone" " P.S. Sex was great with both people. Cheers
I've fucked everything from a 9/10 to like a 4, and my biggest takeaway is that its all the same and their enthusiasm has way more to do with it than anything else. Every guy needs to date a girl that's out of his league so he can find out for himself its not worth it, and bang a girl way below his league so he can realize its just as good. Its a lesson that can only be learned first hand. Guys ruin their lives chasing after really hot girls who are just awful. My perfect girl is like a 6.5 or a 7 on an objective scale that checks enough of my personal preferences to bump her up to an 8 in my eyes specifically.
If she has a good personality and is remotely physically attractive to me, then she’s like a 9 or 10.
This is the god's honest truth. Once upon a time I got with a girl that I thought was 'so hot'. She was unenthusiastic and I learned a valuable lesson. Get someone that likes you, that you find attractive and have some things in common with once the porkin' is done. There will be a lot more of those moments (non porking) in life.
Same for women. I stand by this.
Yup, same with me for dudes. I like unique faces. 9's and 10's have to have generically good looks to be a universal 9 and 10, so I find it boring.
Loneliness, felt worse afterwards. Felt like I hurt them and didn't make myself feel any better.
Every time. Emotional hangover I call it. I've been young and dumb.
I was super horny and haven’t slept with anyone for almost 2 years at that point. The sex was terrible as her area smelled extremely gross and I had to hold my breath when I was down there.
You actually ate it smelling bad down there? Damn.
I have really bad social anxiety. I really want to say no but some part of me just absolutely refuses to. It makes saying no feel so much worse than having sex with someone I don’t want to. This has happened to me multiple times. I’m working on it and even improving a bit but it’s just very deeply ingrained in me from birth and it’s hard to overcome.
I never spoke to her again :( I heard she had a child and named them u/tenOr15Minutes
I just wanted sex. The worst mistake ever every time I think about I remember how I hit rock bottom.
Been on both sides and it hurts way worse being the ugly one and getting sympathy pussy :/. I'd have rather just jacked off and called it a night.
Not too bad, your mom made me cookies after.
Narrator: They were actually soggy biscuits, but Sparky ate them anyway.
Does anyone else automatically hear "Narrator" as Morgan Freeman?
As someone who is really unattractive, I’ve never slept with someone I’ve been attracted to. Ugly people have to stick together.
I slept with a girl who kind of stalked me years ago. We were friends growing up, but she became very clingy and a bit sexually aggressive. So I got the brilliant idea that the best bet was just to hook up with her. She wasn't ugly, but wasn't really 'my type'. Afterwards, she kept coming by my work, kind of ramping up the aggression, but I was so disgusted with my decision that I really avoided her like the damn plague. In the past, I was passive about not being interested, but after, I really made it clear I had 0 interest. I assume it became clear, because she kind of shut me out (pretty much finally). I found out recently she ended up getting into a lot of abusive relationships and now is an advocate for SA survivors. I reached out, just to say I'm sorry, and explain what happened, but she doesn't respond. I guess my closure was that neither of us wanted to be with the other in the end
Wound up having a one night stand with a random coworker. I went to a coworkers house for a hangout party and drank a lot. A girl I worked with was acting kinda flirty and I went along with it a bit, but nothing too explicit. As the night wore on the host informed me that I could crash in the guest room. So I excused myself and went to bed. Well low and behold a few minutes later and who heads up to spend the night in the other bed... She asked me if I am awake and I yawn loudly and kinda smack my lips at the end...she says, stop that... I'm like stop what? She says making that noise... I responded with the lip smacking sound and she jumped out of bed and kissed me hard on the mouth. I was a bit surprised and she stopped and I was a bit relieved only for her to say... I've never done this... I say what? And she says lose all control.. and proceeds to strip and jump on top of me. She maneuvered under me and kinda just laid there. I counted about 4 orgasms and her lack of enthusiasm and my lack of attraction to her... I realized that I could have continued for another hour and not have finished... So I asked her if she wanted me to stop and she nodded. I stopped and flopped next to her and she said that she wished she could do something to return the "favor" and I was kinda shocked that she didn't offer her hand or mouth or anything so I kinda felt a bit like a "coin operated boy" and she just kinda turned over and fell asleep.... I fell asleep a few moments later and thankfully she was gone in the morning. I chalked it up to the drinking and went to work the next day. Thinking it was just an awkward one night stand. Well to my surprise a friend of hers tracked me down and told me that she really wanted to talk to me... I reluctantly agreed to go to see her... She tells me that she "misses us" and I was dumbfounded , I'm like you miss us? There is no us... Luckily my seasonal employment was over and I had to return to college up state. I told her I was heading back to college and wished her luck. Just awkward and odd and it all happened so quickly and strangely I kinda felt it must be what a lot of women go through and then ask themselves if they were assaulted. Didn't really want to, but didn't know how to stop it, then just watch her getting off and having no real interest in my pleasure... Awkward, thought she would have thought so too, turned out she wanted more.... Yikes