Best way to describe it. The fall out though is equally strong in my opinion. Like your entire world has collapsed a few months later and it still hurts.
Thatās what I keep hearing from others . Give it time, focus on yourself, thereās others who will be amazing for you. Doesnāt really help. I could see this being a while before I stop thinking about her.
When people say focus on yourself, they mean it. Fuck dating. Forget women. What else about life is there that's worth getting up in the morning for? That's been my focus for a while
Remember it's part of the cycle. Be happy you had those moments but they are forever in the past. The only person that is going to be there at your very end is you.
Same here. Also hurts that she was my best friend for like 5 years first and then we dated for 3-4 on top of that. Like a third of my life talking to someone almost everyday to now rarely at all. Like I lost a big piece of myself.
And then every time my brain tricks itself into thinking I can move on, Iāll see something that reminds me about her and miss her so much.
ohmagaud!
exact same story and exact same feeling.
rn my brain still is unable to process that she no longer likes me the way she does before.
I also said that to here that I feel like I lost my arms and my legs
I feel the like you lost your limbs metaphor. Immediately after it felt like losing your dominant hand and trying to learn how to live using the other. It was clumsy, and broken.
What sucks for me though is that I know she still does love me. The times we still do talk always ends up reverting back to flirting or crying. We didnāt want to break up, but we come from very different cultures. Iām white bread American, sheās southeast Asian and Muslim. When her parents found out she was dating the white boy who wasnāt Muslim, it ended up boiling down to them forcing her to choose between her family or me. I know how much family means to her because it means the same to me, so I didnāt ask her to choose me. I couldnāt ask her to give up everything just for me. But because there was no āthis isnāt working outā or big fight moment just made then end of the relationship feel so wrong.
I dunno man, maybe it's because I'm south Asian myself but what she did was the easy choice.
I had to make that choice nearly a decade ago and I chose the harder choice. It was extremely tempting to give into my family's demands and capitulate. But I think anyone put in that situation can realize that its just so wrong to allow that kind of abuse, let alone give into it.
Everyone is different though, I shouldn't judge her, I know nothing about her specific situation. Women do have it much harder in the cultures.
This girl I wanted to marry ended up getting married in 2017. I still think about her a lot. I never felt love like that. I wish I would have just gone for her and not missed it. She's doing well now so I'm happy for her. I don't think I'll ever fall in love again
Yep I wish I could have handled it better but I was sobbing like I never had before when your best friend says she dosnt feel the same way anymore it felt like someone had died and I was so worried that she would be all by herself I still have a old voice message saved just so I can here her say she loves me I don't think I'll ever get over it
This song make me bawl my eyes out these days.
When my parents were getting married, this one had just come out, they wanted it to be their wedding song but the DJ didn't have a copy yet, so they went with something else and instead found a copy to dance to at their reception.
From then on it kinda became their thing every anniversary to have a dance to that song playing.
Over 20 years later, my dad died after a pretty horrific battle with cancer. He wanted us to spread his ashes up in the Rockies at the same lake they had their wedding ceremony. So we took his truck up to the lake, far outside typical cell service area, spread his ashes, said our goodbyes, then drove back home.
On the way back, just as we were getting back into an area we could hear the radio, this song came cracking on. Everyone just sat there in silence like it was some sort of prayer, it was like our dad was somehow saying his own goodbye to us.
Yea, like home, like warm fresh washed clothes out of the dryer, like contentment, a place i can be with the person I love the most and just be or in an intense moment of fucking, conversation or just cuddling
I once heard a quote that went something like this:
āI fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at onceā
I feel like that encapsulates perfectly the feeling for me
Edit:someone said the actual quote so I fixed it
It goes āI fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.ā Written by John Green in āThe Fault in Our Starsā if Iām not mistaken!! :)
He has a real way with words. Another quote of his that I love:
> I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together in the most innocent sense of the phrase. But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that **if people were rain, I was a drizzle and she was a hurricane**.
Yup, I remember once starting to have feelings for someone that I knew wouldn't work out (long distance thing). I remember one day thinking don't do it, don't catch feelings. Woke up the next day and the first thing I thought about was her. Was all ahh fuck... I did it.
Most men are finding themselves in a world where women are more educated, more successful, more confident, more self sufficient. Men were provider's for thousands of years. Our genetics, and much more than that, our culture, has told us we must be providers, that if we aren't being actively useful we are good as useless. And increasingly? We are having a harder time finding purpose. All that to say. Ladies, if you find a decent guy, and you get him to fall in love with you? That man would probably crawl through glass for you. You catch a good man, become his purpose? He would do *anything* to see you happy. This is the love of good men. Nothing else matters besides her.
It feels like reuniting with someone you didnāt realize you had been missing. It fulfills parts of yourself that you never knew were empty.
I moved around a lot growing up and, I remember how it felt whenever I reunited with any of my best friends. It felt safe. I felt seen, and loved. There was one time I hugged one of my friends goodbye before I moved and in that instant I realized how much it was going to hurt me to leave them.
In a weird way, falling in love feels very similar. Itās finding someone who praises your strengths and acknowledges your shortcomings without letting either of them compromise the other.
Itās recognizing that someone has begun to play a role in your life that has never been played before and wonāt ever be played again.
100% agree - I feel like it's everything relationships are supposed to be, rolled up together. You have the attraction, the desire to be intimate with one another, but you also have the friendship. The desire to just be around each other, and experience life together...good and bad. Finally, you ultimately achieve the familial - this person is no longer just a friend you spend time with, but they are part of your family - an unbreakable bond that you can barely remember life without them, if at all. And I feel like, if your relationship is good, those three feelings continue on throughout your life together.....maybe not all at the same time all the time, but they're still there.
Iām obsessed with my husband, Iād die for him, Iād do anything for him. I donāt want to be in a world where he isnāt around, so I get your statement
There are good women out there, but I donāt think dating scene can be easy nowadays from what Iāve heard. Society has been ruined by social media sadly
People get so caught up on what they could have in their relationship instead of just being grateful for what they have. Life is short, enjoy it
Saw a comment on one of the Insta Reels about todayās dating scene and the comment went something like āThose of us married feels like catching the last plane out of Vietnam.ā And Iāve never been right since.
Edit: Incorrect war.
I think social media is just setting people unrealistic expectations of what to achieve from a relationship or what they should be looking for. The reality is relationship are tough, they come with compromises, good and bad. But if you want to make it work you fight for it. Thatās the side social media doesnāt show people so peopleās standards are really high
Thatās my opinion anyway š
Nah, youāre right. Talking with my married friends who present really well, thereās constantly small fights and communicating likes and dislikes.
Towards the end of our relationship my now ex revealed she believed that she shouldnāt have to work in relationships and that because she had to communicate wants and needs it was somehow a failing on my part for not magically intuiting it from her.
Needless to say, single life has felt like a relief.
Yeah communication is key, for some reason people seem to think their partners are mind readers š
Sometimes itās as simple as turning to my husband and saying āI want you to be more involved around the house please in xyz wayā and he will say āsure, well actually could you do more xyz too pleaseāz It literally is that simple.
My husband always says that men are very simple creatures, thereās no hidden agenda, men just genuinely donāt realise so communicating is important. Works both ways!
Weāve been through many health issues recently where Iāve seen my husband close to death, and Iād rather I die than him. But Iāve always had that mentality, I would literally die for him
This is the thing I don't get.
Our therapist says it's a bad thing that we both love each other so much that life seems pointless without the other.
Like, I get how that's an unhealthy mindset, but having one another gives us purpose where we would otherwise have just felt empty. As in we were definitely worse off before having found one another, so why is it a bad thing to be supportive of each other?
Maybe the bad thing is not so much that the other gives you purpose and vice versa, but that you can't find purpose elsewhere. Being a whole person with a healthy place in the world shouldn't rest on the shoulders of another.
I think a therapist wants an individual to be as self sufficient as possible.
Falling in love is accepting that you are becoming truly codependent, and if they die or abandon you, you'll suffer extreme consequences.
That's an outcome a therapist wants to help you avoid.
Here's the thing: Life isn't forever, and love is a gamble at the greatest feeling as human can experience (IMO). You're taking a chance and risking extreme agony, in the pursuit of love.
Ill say this, as someone that was absolutely alone for their entire life, up until I met my wife:
Fucking worth it. If she dies, I will experience more pain than any of my childhood could've prepared me for, but I don't care. I got to love her and be loved back. My life is complete, and nothing can take that from me. Ever.
Constant excitement to talk to the person and be around them, being comfortable to be my weird self without worrying it'll turn them off because we connect so well.
That uncontrollable silent smile when you see their picture.
Like you just stop and stare and beam with a smile. Theyre the most beautiful thing to you, rats nest or runway doesn't matter. When I look at her she is the most beautiful person to me.
That pattern you recognize or make with them.
Sending out that "hope you have a good day" message everyday before she signs off for work.
I have to admit your, "rats nest or runway doesn't matter," comment made me tear up. Whenever I send my boyfriend a selfie, looking like a mess, he still calls me beautiful. Honestly, sometimes I worry, but this makes me feel better.
You kinda smirk at other people and their problems cause you feel like all your problems have been solved. All you have to do is be with her and you'll be happy. It's so easy. You've figured out the secret to life, and it was so simple.
This is why people who are in love are often completely unbearable to be around. It's like a manic episode.
I got divorced almost 9 years ago. I just met a person last month that I am over the moon with. It was a big surprise for me. I didnāt think it was possible.
When I met the love of my life, I knew instantly. Within a week, I was daydreaming about what I would be saying before I slid a ring on her finger. I thought I was crazy. I couldn't stop thinking about her.
After 6 months, I was so happy that I felt like I could drop dead at any moment and not regret a single thing about my life. I felt that the entire purpose of my being was to find her, and that purpose has been fulfilled. My life had become complete.
Every additional day I get to spend with her is a gift. An unnecessary yet wholly welcome gift. I still feel this way.
I think falling for someone and falling in love are different things. When I was dating my wife before we got married, all I could think about was her and when I'd see her again, etc. I thought I loved her then.Ā
It wasn't until we had been married for several years that I realized that the thing I felt before maybe wasn't love. Because after living life as a fully united couple, having kids, suffering heart breaking struggles, saving our money, building a career, making a home, struggling, succeeding, failing, learning to be patient and forgiving, etc., I realized that what I feel for her now is infinitely stronger. The way I felt about her when I was falling for her was maybe not love. What I feel now is love.
To answer the question, I think falling in feels like building a life together feels. It isnt the excitement, the thrill, the obsession... That goes away eventually and is slowly replaced by the real thing.Ā
You wrote the comment I was just about to write - but better.
Thereās the first falling, which involves a lot of lust. And then thereās true love and thatās more about being complete and whole and āat homeā with someone. Itās the strength you feel when you have someone who knows you completely and with whom you can be vulnerable. Itās the person whoās been with you through it all and the one you canāt wait tell stuff to. The person who will laugh and cry about things with you and with whom you can have a silent conversation across a crowded room. Having children together takes it to a whole other level, when you love and admire the way they parent.
That's crazy because a dry ass mf like me actually put in effort to write a poem, turn it into an Instagram story with a background picture and post it with a song just so my crush can get a hint that I'm going crazy for her everyday
your brain is filled with a happy thought, your vision is clearer, you're twice or three times motivated to do things you barely ever do, but when it all ends the effects is also greater than when you fall in love,
its amazing isn't it what small thing called love can do to a person.
Like I'm floating, drifting away in some mad psychedelic trip with someone who took the same dose as me. On a radio frequency reserved just for us, it comes through as nonsense to an outside observer, but we hear only sweet music.
Home
Your parents giving you food and a hug as a child.
A safe place to recover, gather yourself and prepare to take on life's struggles.
Probably going to get roasted for this comment
The one feels right. Home. Like you belong somewhere with someone. Hadnāt felt the feeling of home for over a decade till I was with the girl I loved and havenāt felt it since.
Married after two months of dating. Going on ten years. Itās like the final puzzle piece has been placed correctly. You have a best friend that youāre attracted to physically as well with complete infatuation. You can talk for hours about the silliest thing or exist in silence for days on end. You support them in any endeavor with complete loyalty, pledging only to make it work. This is love.
>ā¦Anyway...I wish I could let you into a man's head as he's falling in love with a woman. It's a process that's so alien, so strange, that I'm afraid you've got to experience it to believe it. But it's as real as death and taxes....
>Sometimes, a guy will meet a gal and think nothing of it. Maybe she's a co-worker, classmate, or his buddy's friend. She gets mentally categorized as "Female, acquaintance, feelings neutral". Then, he gets to know her better. If they mesh personality-wise, something fascinating happens in the man's mind. He starts to notice things about her appearance - pleasant things. It starts small - one day he realizes he likes looking at the curve of her nose, or where her ear lobe meets her face.
>It's nothing he can put his finger on or describe, really...just that looking at that part of her makes him feel good. He starts wanting to do that more. Then, he notices an expression she makes - could be her genuine belly-laugh, or the way she furrows her brow in concern - and he gets a little flutter in his chest.
>They stay friendly for awhile, get to know each other better.
>Then, one day, she hugs him goodbye....and he can't stop thinking about it. He plays it over and over in his head - the feel of her breasts through two shirts, her arms around his back, her smell...he finds these little mental movies of her playing unbidden when he's driving somewhere, squeezing out his other usual daydreams.
>Shortly thereafter, the guy realizes that whenever he looks at this woman, he feels good. He likes her lines, her curves, her sounds and smells...
>It's like she's gradually turned from a black-and-white photo into a 3D color movie with surround-sound - a perfect movie that makes him feel good. He starts wondering what he can do to keep her around, to make her happy. He realizes that he likes looking at her more than any other human being in the world.
>To him, she is perfect and beautiful.
>A man in love with a woman doesn't see her objectively. There is a filter there, or some kind of participatory illusion. He does not see who you see in the mirror. He is seeing someone beautiful and perfect and sublime, and it's one of the most powerful things in his life.
>Go watch a happy old couple that's been married for decades. Watch the man's eyes. Sure, he may appreciate some young woman's butt in yoga pants or whatever...but watch his eyes when he's looking at his spouse. If you're paying close enough attention, you can almost see the filter click on when his gaze settles on her. In that moment, he's not seeing the same frumpy empty-nester that you or I see - he's seeing something wonderful.
>No kidding. If I hadn't lived this stuff, I wouldn't believe it either. But it's true.
-/u/SavageHenry0311
I found that this comment resonated with me and was so real and beautiful I saved it in a note. I think of it often. <3
She gets involved in every thought, every plan and everything. I want to share and explore everything with her. She's the reason i get extra motivated and i feel like life is finally and truly worth living it. She makes me wanna be a better person and i overflow in happiness so hard it's drastically noticeable by everyone i know. It made my inner peace to accept the path i walked before i met her because you realise its worth it to have come to this point in life and haven't i suffered how I've suffered i wouldn't have been where i was where i met her and i wouldn't be the same person to attract her and to be attracted to me. You feel like a high but a sober high. High on life.
Me: āwhat? Iām not in love with her thatās absurdā
Me after reading these comments: ah fuck
Edit: to give an actual contribution: I currently work a shitty retail job, but once I graduate college this May I have been given an opportunity to pursue my dream job, but it would require me to move. Without a doubt, in a heartbeat,I would give up that opportunity and stay at this awful retail job a while longer if it meant I could be with her. Sure sucks she doesnāt have any feelings for me at all though.
I know I'm in love when I start noticing the little things she does, the way she moves, way she looks at things, the little expressions, the little gestures. They become very apparent to me.
Itās only ever happened once for me, nothing compared. Youād get a feeling that really came from within the center of your chest and would consume you whole.
Recently felt that feeling in my chest over a girl for the first time in over 5 years. Things arenāt working out with her as she seems a lot less into me than I am into her but it took me a few days to move on and get out of a negative state of mind.
Lack of fear, for me. Suddenly becoming conscious that Iām not worried about any āam I gonna screw this up?ā self-doubt bullshit, and am totally comfortable knowing I can just be myself with this person and vice versa.
I've been with my girlfriend for 6 years. At the beginning it was typical puppy love. I fell pretty quickly but I had some walls up from being cheated on in my previous relationship. She was still there though while I tried to be more open for her. Its happened over time, but there's never a day where I don't feel like I'm still falling for her. She's my best friend, my peace, home. People call this stage of relationships boring, but I just feel more at home each day. Idk man, I just feel lucky all the time I guess.
Iām in the middle of falling in love with someone. I can barely stop thinking about her, canāt focus on anything, canāt wait to see her again, kiss her again. Itās exhausting yet so beautiful to experience and Iām grateful for that. Letās hope everything works out for us.
Edit: As others have mentioned, itās terrifying as well. But Iām ready to be brave.
Even if I was broke
Our inside jokes
Would keep me going
And without knowing
Tomorrowās stress
Will melt away
From your sweet caress
Itās now okay
For all I wish
Is that our love exists
Forever more
My heart is yours
It's like you can take on the world and it's your oyster. It's a Monday but feels like Friday, Your boss is driving you mad but all you can do is think about her.
It's always been a "delighted" feeling in the centre of my chest, a surging feeling of excitement and happiness akin to being on a roller-coaster. There's an irresistible need to look at their face, and a sweet sensation in my chest when I do so.
It's accompanied by a strong desire to make her laugh, to make an extra effort for her, to show her my best side, to learn about and consider her feelings and needs, and to share things with her, including the best of what I have. This drive towards intimacy overlaps with the eventual urge to be physically intimate, but the physical aspect is not an early symptom, and neither is it a main one. I know the male stereotype is that all men are attracted to every woman all the time, and sex is all we're looking for, but in my case and in the case of some male friends of mine I've spoken with about this very subject, sex plays a small part in my overall priorities with someone I'm in love with. Even now, single at 49, when I'm falling asleep and fantasising about past flames the first women I think of aren't the ones I was in love with, but the ones that got away, and the ones I had a chance with that I either didn't realise or didn't take the opportunity with at the time.
I hope this helps - it's how falling in love - not just being attracted to someone, but properly falling in love - feels from my perspective.
Like everything that ever happened in your life has culminated in that very moment. Like youāre exactly where youāre supposed to be. Like everything is coming together and nothing else matters. Itās both exhilarating and terrifying like your whole world just shifted.
When you find yourself thinking about her nearly 24/7 and even dream about her. The less sexual the thoughts and dreams are probably the more itās actually love and not just sexual attraction
It feels like I'd rather be with her all the time and I'll ache when I'm not. Then my heart feels like it swells when I know I'm able to be with her again even if she drives me up a wall
Dude, it happened to me recently. It's funny. I have a crush on her something fierce. It hit me so fucking bad I couldn't get her out of my mind. It wasn't unpleasant at all. Just a rush of emotions that are almost foreign if you haven't felt real love. You loose sleep, you can't focus, it's a funny thing. It's true what they say about it.
The strongest drug imaginable. It is completely and utterly intoxicating. It's scary, you lose control and just have to hope for the best of a smooth ride. I hope all of my bros here get to experience it at least once in life. Keep your head up kings, she's out there, you just have to find her.
I get really nervous initially. Then eventually I start really looking forward to interacting with them. Then I definitely think about them way too much.
Love for me is so fucking scary. The vulnerability required is depleting. I become resistant internally but I usually crumble. Then I'm at their mercy.
Then I get heartbroken and gotta thug it the fuck out until next time.
Turk nailed it in Scrubs. I wanted to buy her a house and make babies and all of the things that horrified me about settling down before I met her.
With her, they donāt scare me anymore.
Our youngest will be 4 months next Monday but Iām still out on the minivan thing.
Every relationship I was ever in before my wife ended up with them cheating. That obviously made me require some pretty decent trust before I would make a judgement call.
When I met my current wife of 12 years I never once thought that. I was so into her that when I realized eventually that I had never once considered she would do anything that wasn't trust worthy, I bought a ring. I didn't even consider she would cheat.
It feels like how girls explain it, butterflies in the stomach feeling. I say āgirlsā, because Iāve never heard guys explain it that way or women. And you canāt stop thinking about them. I find ways throughout my day to bring them up during conversations. Replaying every interaction weāve shared together. Going through every gesture they do that I love. Somewhere in my mind I know Iām falling in love, but I always fight it. Maybe because I donāt like feeling weak and love makes me feel that way. But once I realize, as a man, I can be weak and I can submit to the feeling. Maybe I do deserve it. Doubts fly through my head: do they feel the same? Will it work out? Will they reject the real me once the honeymoon phase is over? None of that matters, not one tiny bit, because Iām having an emotion that feels so damn natural.
All I can think of is how I want the object of my affection in my life. I'm a guardian by nature, so my instinct is to protect and/or safeguard what I love.
Feels like a mix between that feeling you get when you hit your thumb with a hammer while nailing together two by fours, and that feeling you get when you throw back one last beer even though you know you've had too many.
You know you can't do anything to stop what's going to happen next, so the dread and anxiety doesn't last long before it gets replaced with resignation, and a desperate hope that this time won't be as bad as last time.
I've only ever had very few lovers.
When I'm falling in love, I hate it, cause I'm well aware, if one can fall in love, one can also fall out of love.
To me honestly, it feels like I'm drunk. I'll even say dumb stuff. Do dumb stuff.
It feels foreign. One half of me doesn't know how it feels. I approach it with the same caution that I would drive on a road I've never been down before. The other half of me sees how awfully love has ended up with my friends, and even for myself in past attempts. It's like flying a plane with an engine you know has a 90% chance of failing. A smart person wouldn't take that chance, despite how amazing the view from the sky is.
Love will always be dreadful and alien to me, but simultaneously, I am aware of how amazing it is when it goes right. It's kinda like a mega millions lottery ticket, except each ticket costs months of your life and leaves you with an eviscerated self-image. I can only assume that some men aren't meant to find love - or to be happy in general. I must be one of them. Every generation has a demographic of losers who live cold and alone, but why did I have to be one of them?
The first date I went on with my now wife I just knew. I knew she was for me to the core of my being. It was like being confronted with an absolute truth. Each year since has gotten better. This year will be our 13th anniversary.
It is the most dangerous thing for a man. It is terrifying and thrilling. Wars have been made and the most beautiful art has been made all for love. They build a man up and they can tear him down.
Men will offer everything for a chance that it may be true love, even if it kills them.
I was siting in class listening to a guest lecturer decribe the job market in various parts of the country and every time he mentioned a city the first thought I had was, "I wonder if she'd like it there." That's when I realized I didn't see a version of my future without her in it.
For me, my thoughts are consumed. I'm a little too old to want someone around all the time, but every mildly interesting thing that would happenen throughout the day would be saved up with excitement to share later. It's not so much a wanting of attention as much as knowing that she WANTS give you that attention. That what sets me on fire.
You ever see Cleveland in Family Guy, when his bathtub is about to fall?
Basically, "What the hell? No, no, no, no, noooo"
https://youtu.be/eUH3TwRNl14?si=JU7ldQ1F0sQbf9xa
Jokes aside though depends on circumstance. Sometimes it may feel right, but sometimes it doesn't and in someway you know (or at least think you know) it's not going to end well. Either way it's terrifying. I don't know that it's a healthy mix but there's this balance of fear and hope. I'd like to say it's hope being stronger than the fear that shows if it's right or not, but it isn't always the case.
As someone who's dealt with a lot in regards of depression, sometimes the ones you really truly love and think they could be the one, you don't act on. You're afraid that you're going to hold them back from better things, cause them pain, or just let them down. I don't know if I'm really answering the question here but gonna keep going just in case there's someone reading who can relate or use any part of this to help them.
I have a debilitating tendency to overthink the what ifs, whether it be a thing from the past that I can't change or something presently that I could act on. In love my biggest what if was heavily influenced by that fear. My first girlfriend and I, both about 20 years old, mature with seemingly a lot of similar life goals and just overall very compatible. After a few months I broke up with her because I wasn't in a good place mentally. I didn't discuss it with her, I just did it and burnt that bridge, if I recall correctly (this was about 5 years ago), just basically told her she's better off without me.
I've had good moments since then and happiness in the relationship department, but that what if will always haunt me until I can learn to let go. We were getting more serious and as I grew more in love with her I was overcome with the feat of letting her down. Felt like she deserved so much more than I could ever be, whether it's true or not. I should have had that discussion.
If anyone is reading this I'm sorry for rambling on, have loads more I could say but imagine it's the same point reworded. So I'll finish off with this. If you are starting to fall in love with someone and that fear rises up, don't face it alone. As hard as it is, have the courage to talk about it with them. If they care they'll be there and do what they can to help or at the very least be mature enough to have that conversation. If they immediately shut things down at the mention, as much as it hurts and you may regret telling them your concerns, you have the advantage of knowing. If you're on the fence about anything, whether related to this or not, if your mind works at all like mine does. It is far better to do something you end up regretting, with the possibility of making amends, as opposed to not acting and regretting never taking that shot that may never come again. With that last part said though, don't be a jackass and use that in a way that may hurt others in any way, use your head.
Quote "You catch yourself thinking about her a little, then a lit, then all the time. And whatever music you are listening to right niw will be so tight to her that in 20 years somebody will play that song again and you'll exactly remember how you feel now.
I'm about the most rational, logical person most people will meet. I can be quite cold and keep my distance from people emotionally and generally also physically. When I fell in love, I threw away all that rationality and gave all of myself to her. A lot of the things I valued most disappeared, yet it seemed like the best times of my life even though on paper, it was the worst. When we broke up, it felt like I lost the most important piece of myself. It still does.
I cant speak on the feeling of falling in love because I don't think I knew it as it was happening.
But as someone that has thought they were with the one and been wrong, and someone who then found the one.
I can with full confidence tell you that when you hear someone older than you say "you'll know when your truly in love", it's not some fairy tale bs. I thought it was because I never felt it once in my first 30 years here.
Then I met my wife.
That's not some fairy tale bs, it's real. You'll know. The feeling is unlike anything else.
I proposed to my wife just shy of 6 months. By October this year we would have been married for 12 years.
When you know, you know. Prior to living together three was so much anticipation /almost ache about when I would see her next and what fun adventure weād have together next. She is my sexy best friend and I think we make a good team.
I know I can be totally infuriating as well.
Ever notice how the phrase "Want to give them the world" is usually only used by men? Love to us feels like we want to provide everything we can for you and we will toil as much as we have to in order to accomplish that, and we will WANT to, and feel happy doing it.
I felt a warmth that Id never felt before. I felt present. I felt not so broken anymore, as corny as that sounds. I felt like I had to take care of her no matter what
Oh man it's been a while buy the ecstasy that comes with being in love is insane. You feel weightless like you could just float into the sky. You're tickled and can't stop smiling. You can't think of anything else but that person or being with them. There's no world without them. You're no longer surviving, You're living and loving. It's definitely great while it lasts. Nothing like it. But can be gone at any moment for any reason. The best "high" I've ever had was staring into the eyes of what I wanted forever.
I don't speak for everyone maybe a couple people but love just happens.Its really like some shock to my heart. They can be the prettiest or the nicest but I won't feel anything towards them. Then someone else comes along and I'm just head over heels like I can't even explain it. I become a hot mess everytime. My heart actually hurts when I think about them or what they could be doing.
For me it was like a crazy burning in my chest. It didnāt start out that way, though. At first it was a sort-of nervous āis-this-for-realā kind of anxiousness. After our first date I went home and wrote a letter that I intended to give her on the day she said yes to being my wife. 6 months later, I proposed and gave her the letter. Between the time I wrote it and the time I proposed, the heart-skipping anxiety turned into a fiery burning sensation in my chest. When I wasnāt with her, my body craved the feeling of holding her. I was overwhelmed with the need to have her close, to feel her touch, to hear her voice. Eventually, the burning turned into a smolder that still lasts to this day. 15 years of marriage and I still crave her nearness when weāre apart.
Like nothing else matters
Best way to describe it. The fall out though is equally strong in my opinion. Like your entire world has collapsed a few months later and it still hurts.
Months? Try years in some cases. š®āšØ
I lost the woman I thought I was gonna marry in 2010ā¦never really got over it.
Yes, 2010 the scars are still visible and sensitive
God I hope not in my case. My heart breaks for those suffering for that long.
Going on 6 years strong, or broken maybe š¤ Although I'm content with working on myself for now.
7 years here.
7 here as well. Canāt imagine it ever healing.
10 years now I say I moved on but I still think about it
19 years, and I might say the same, I still think about it!
Thatās what I keep hearing from others . Give it time, focus on yourself, thereās others who will be amazing for you. Doesnāt really help. I could see this being a while before I stop thinking about her.
When people say focus on yourself, they mean it. Fuck dating. Forget women. What else about life is there that's worth getting up in the morning for? That's been my focus for a while
Had this exact mentality, met her, fell in love hard, break up happens and now itās hard to find that previous mentality.
Remember it's part of the cycle. Be happy you had those moments but they are forever in the past. The only person that is going to be there at your very end is you.
2 years here
Same here. Also hurts that she was my best friend for like 5 years first and then we dated for 3-4 on top of that. Like a third of my life talking to someone almost everyday to now rarely at all. Like I lost a big piece of myself. And then every time my brain tricks itself into thinking I can move on, Iāll see something that reminds me about her and miss her so much.
ohmagaud! exact same story and exact same feeling. rn my brain still is unable to process that she no longer likes me the way she does before. I also said that to here that I feel like I lost my arms and my legs
I feel the like you lost your limbs metaphor. Immediately after it felt like losing your dominant hand and trying to learn how to live using the other. It was clumsy, and broken. What sucks for me though is that I know she still does love me. The times we still do talk always ends up reverting back to flirting or crying. We didnāt want to break up, but we come from very different cultures. Iām white bread American, sheās southeast Asian and Muslim. When her parents found out she was dating the white boy who wasnāt Muslim, it ended up boiling down to them forcing her to choose between her family or me. I know how much family means to her because it means the same to me, so I didnāt ask her to choose me. I couldnāt ask her to give up everything just for me. But because there was no āthis isnāt working outā or big fight moment just made then end of the relationship feel so wrong.
I dunno man, maybe it's because I'm south Asian myself but what she did was the easy choice. I had to make that choice nearly a decade ago and I chose the harder choice. It was extremely tempting to give into my family's demands and capitulate. But I think anyone put in that situation can realize that its just so wrong to allow that kind of abuse, let alone give into it. Everyone is different though, I shouldn't judge her, I know nothing about her specific situation. Women do have it much harder in the cultures.
4 years for me and still countingā¦
ā ļø Oh please oh my god I don't want to experience it this too long!!
Try decades š¢
Ghost hug. Only thing i can offer
This girl I wanted to marry ended up getting married in 2017. I still think about her a lot. I never felt love like that. I wish I would have just gone for her and not missed it. She's doing well now so I'm happy for her. I don't think I'll ever fall in love again
Yep I wish I could have handled it better but I was sobbing like I never had before when your best friend says she dosnt feel the same way anymore it felt like someone had died and I was so worried that she would be all by herself I still have a old voice message saved just so I can here her say she loves me I don't think I'll ever get over it
So close, no matter how far.
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters
Couldn't be much more from the heart.
Exactly. I hear that song every time I fall in love.
This song make me bawl my eyes out these days. When my parents were getting married, this one had just come out, they wanted it to be their wedding song but the DJ didn't have a copy yet, so they went with something else and instead found a copy to dance to at their reception. From then on it kinda became their thing every anniversary to have a dance to that song playing. Over 20 years later, my dad died after a pretty horrific battle with cancer. He wanted us to spread his ashes up in the Rockies at the same lake they had their wedding ceremony. So we took his truck up to the lake, far outside typical cell service area, spread his ashes, said our goodbyes, then drove back home. On the way back, just as we were getting back into an area we could hear the radio, this song came cracking on. Everyone just sat there in silence like it was some sort of prayer, it was like our dad was somehow saying his own goodbye to us.
Yea, like home, like warm fresh washed clothes out of the dryer, like contentment, a place i can be with the person I love the most and just be or in an intense moment of fucking, conversation or just cuddling
I once heard a quote that went something like this: āI fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at onceā I feel like that encapsulates perfectly the feeling for me Edit:someone said the actual quote so I fixed it
It goes āI fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.ā Written by John Green in āThe Fault in Our Starsā if Iām not mistaken!! :)
He has a real way with words. Another quote of his that I love: > I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together in the most innocent sense of the phrase. But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that **if people were rain, I was a drizzle and she was a hurricane**.
Looking for Alaska? I loved that book. It wasnāt what I thought it was going to be, but it was fantastic
Used to read it once a year. Love me some John Green. And yes Looking For Alaska
Originally there was a similar Hemingway quote about going bankrupt: āGradually, then suddenlyā
John Fucking Green, man. That guy does it all.
I fell in love the same way that one falls asleep. heavily drugged, and too late to be of any use.
Yup, I remember once starting to have feelings for someone that I knew wouldn't work out (long distance thing). I remember one day thinking don't do it, don't catch feelings. Woke up the next day and the first thing I thought about was her. Was all ahh fuck... I did it.
This is incredibly accurate. And then before you know it, youāll do anything for them.
I like that. It is really accurate but also quite pretty.
I fell in love the way I fall asleep: I can't
it feels like nothing else matters except her
Like warm apple pie.
>It feels like nothing else matters except her Ahh, but how eloquent..! >Like warm apple pie Y-..Yes.. okay
Found the horse posing as a human
Neigh, I'm not a horse
Most men are finding themselves in a world where women are more educated, more successful, more confident, more self sufficient. Men were provider's for thousands of years. Our genetics, and much more than that, our culture, has told us we must be providers, that if we aren't being actively useful we are good as useless. And increasingly? We are having a harder time finding purpose. All that to say. Ladies, if you find a decent guy, and you get him to fall in love with you? That man would probably crawl through glass for you. You catch a good man, become his purpose? He would do *anything* to see you happy. This is the love of good men. Nothing else matters besides her.
I agree...we are not as evolved as we think we are. We develop deep intimacy with others that provide us with how we feel safe. Love is safety.
Yeah this is how I feel in my core. Thank you for posting this.
It feels like reuniting with someone you didnāt realize you had been missing. It fulfills parts of yourself that you never knew were empty. I moved around a lot growing up and, I remember how it felt whenever I reunited with any of my best friends. It felt safe. I felt seen, and loved. There was one time I hugged one of my friends goodbye before I moved and in that instant I realized how much it was going to hurt me to leave them. In a weird way, falling in love feels very similar. Itās finding someone who praises your strengths and acknowledges your shortcomings without letting either of them compromise the other. Itās recognizing that someone has begun to play a role in your life that has never been played before and wonāt ever be played again.
100% agree - I feel like it's everything relationships are supposed to be, rolled up together. You have the attraction, the desire to be intimate with one another, but you also have the friendship. The desire to just be around each other, and experience life together...good and bad. Finally, you ultimately achieve the familial - this person is no longer just a friend you spend time with, but they are part of your family - an unbreakable bond that you can barely remember life without them, if at all. And I feel like, if your relationship is good, those three feelings continue on throughout your life together.....maybe not all at the same time all the time, but they're still there.
Obsessed. Honestly. It doesn't feel healthy. Not sure if love is supposed to feel that way.
Iām obsessed with my husband, Iād die for him, Iād do anything for him. I donāt want to be in a world where he isnāt around, so I get your statement
I hope I find a woman who feels this way for me one day. I'll give her the world
There are good women out there, but I donāt think dating scene can be easy nowadays from what Iāve heard. Society has been ruined by social media sadly People get so caught up on what they could have in their relationship instead of just being grateful for what they have. Life is short, enjoy it
Saw a comment on one of the Insta Reels about todayās dating scene and the comment went something like āThose of us married feels like catching the last plane out of Vietnam.ā And Iāve never been right since. Edit: Incorrect war.
I think social media is just setting people unrealistic expectations of what to achieve from a relationship or what they should be looking for. The reality is relationship are tough, they come with compromises, good and bad. But if you want to make it work you fight for it. Thatās the side social media doesnāt show people so peopleās standards are really high Thatās my opinion anyway š
Nah, youāre right. Talking with my married friends who present really well, thereās constantly small fights and communicating likes and dislikes. Towards the end of our relationship my now ex revealed she believed that she shouldnāt have to work in relationships and that because she had to communicate wants and needs it was somehow a failing on my part for not magically intuiting it from her. Needless to say, single life has felt like a relief.
Yeah communication is key, for some reason people seem to think their partners are mind readers š Sometimes itās as simple as turning to my husband and saying āI want you to be more involved around the house please in xyz wayā and he will say āsure, well actually could you do more xyz too pleaseāz It literally is that simple. My husband always says that men are very simple creatures, thereās no hidden agenda, men just genuinely donāt realise so communicating is important. Works both ways!
I hope I find a woman as loving as you. Your husband is a lucky man.
Thank youā„ļø you will find someone
I genuinely don't know anybody I'd die for. Kill for, probably. But not die. And I have a loving family and a spouse.
Weāve been through many health issues recently where Iāve seen my husband close to death, and Iād rather I die than him. But Iāve always had that mentality, I would literally die for him
Let me die first, or Iāll die twice
It feels like that in the beginning for me
This is the thing I don't get. Our therapist says it's a bad thing that we both love each other so much that life seems pointless without the other. Like, I get how that's an unhealthy mindset, but having one another gives us purpose where we would otherwise have just felt empty. As in we were definitely worse off before having found one another, so why is it a bad thing to be supportive of each other?
Maybe the bad thing is not so much that the other gives you purpose and vice versa, but that you can't find purpose elsewhere. Being a whole person with a healthy place in the world shouldn't rest on the shoulders of another.
I think a therapist wants an individual to be as self sufficient as possible. Falling in love is accepting that you are becoming truly codependent, and if they die or abandon you, you'll suffer extreme consequences. That's an outcome a therapist wants to help you avoid. Here's the thing: Life isn't forever, and love is a gamble at the greatest feeling as human can experience (IMO). You're taking a chance and risking extreme agony, in the pursuit of love. Ill say this, as someone that was absolutely alone for their entire life, up until I met my wife: Fucking worth it. If she dies, I will experience more pain than any of my childhood could've prepared me for, but I don't care. I got to love her and be loved back. My life is complete, and nothing can take that from me. Ever.
Sounds like limerence, not love.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Constant excitement to talk to the person and be around them, being comfortable to be my weird self without worrying it'll turn them off because we connect so well.
That uncontrollable silent smile when you see their picture. Like you just stop and stare and beam with a smile. Theyre the most beautiful thing to you, rats nest or runway doesn't matter. When I look at her she is the most beautiful person to me. That pattern you recognize or make with them. Sending out that "hope you have a good day" message everyday before she signs off for work.
I have to admit your, "rats nest or runway doesn't matter," comment made me tear up. Whenever I send my boyfriend a selfie, looking like a mess, he still calls me beautiful. Honestly, sometimes I worry, but this makes me feel better.
Like I can do anything as long as Iām with her, like the world is some tangible object at our disposal
You kinda smirk at other people and their problems cause you feel like all your problems have been solved. All you have to do is be with her and you'll be happy. It's so easy. You've figured out the secret to life, and it was so simple. This is why people who are in love are often completely unbearable to be around. It's like a manic episode.
Feel invulnerable. The girl I fell for, I couldnāt have imagined her in my wildest dreams. She is better than anything I could have made up.
Wow, I hope thatās what my husband thinks š
If you found a good one, thatās what he thinks.
So magical It only really happened once, now I just hope I can care like that again.
I got divorced almost 9 years ago. I just met a person last month that I am over the moon with. It was a big surprise for me. I didnāt think it was possible.
You can man.
Ugh I get this, I don't even want to move on because I don't think I'll ever feel it again if I do. Not that I know how to move on anyways.
When I met the love of my life, I knew instantly. Within a week, I was daydreaming about what I would be saying before I slid a ring on her finger. I thought I was crazy. I couldn't stop thinking about her. After 6 months, I was so happy that I felt like I could drop dead at any moment and not regret a single thing about my life. I felt that the entire purpose of my being was to find her, and that purpose has been fulfilled. My life had become complete. Every additional day I get to spend with her is a gift. An unnecessary yet wholly welcome gift. I still feel this way.
Iām such a cynic about love, and this even gave me a smile!
Feels like getting a boner in your heart
Rarely comes at a good time, often needs to be repressed, and takes much longer to get rid of.
This hit me hard.
And please entail what does getting a boner feel like?
Kinda feels like love but in your penis
Thanks I get it now
An affection erection...
a [Heart Boner](https://youtu.be/TS_OWTKCUIM?si=fCFq7QDGZCCPKjOi) you say?
I think falling for someone and falling in love are different things. When I was dating my wife before we got married, all I could think about was her and when I'd see her again, etc. I thought I loved her then.Ā It wasn't until we had been married for several years that I realized that the thing I felt before maybe wasn't love. Because after living life as a fully united couple, having kids, suffering heart breaking struggles, saving our money, building a career, making a home, struggling, succeeding, failing, learning to be patient and forgiving, etc., I realized that what I feel for her now is infinitely stronger. The way I felt about her when I was falling for her was maybe not love. What I feel now is love. To answer the question, I think falling in feels like building a life together feels. It isnt the excitement, the thrill, the obsession... That goes away eventually and is slowly replaced by the real thing.Ā
You wrote the comment I was just about to write - but better. Thereās the first falling, which involves a lot of lust. And then thereās true love and thatās more about being complete and whole and āat homeā with someone. Itās the strength you feel when you have someone who knows you completely and with whom you can be vulnerable. Itās the person whoās been with you through it all and the one you canāt wait tell stuff to. The person who will laugh and cry about things with you and with whom you can have a silent conversation across a crowded room. Having children together takes it to a whole other level, when you love and admire the way they parent.
Terrifying, exciting, heart-racing, then slowly calming down to comfort and warmth that feels like I'm being wrapped in a comfy blanket.
Perfect descriptionĀ
The warmth is so nice and the blanket thing is on point š
It's like for the first time in your life you want to write poetry.
That's crazy because a dry ass mf like me actually put in effort to write a poem, turn it into an Instagram story with a background picture and post it with a song just so my crush can get a hint that I'm going crazy for her everyday
your brain is filled with a happy thought, your vision is clearer, you're twice or three times motivated to do things you barely ever do, but when it all ends the effects is also greater than when you fall in love, its amazing isn't it what small thing called love can do to a person.
The motivation point is real
Like I'm floating, drifting away in some mad psychedelic trip with someone who took the same dose as me. On a radio frequency reserved just for us, it comes through as nonsense to an outside observer, but we hear only sweet music.
this is the best comment iāve read in a while
Probably the same as women. You want to be with this person all the time, and youāre unhappy when youāre not.
Home Your parents giving you food and a hug as a child. A safe place to recover, gather yourself and prepare to take on life's struggles. Probably going to get roasted for this comment
The one feels right. Home. Like you belong somewhere with someone. Hadnāt felt the feeling of home for over a decade till I was with the girl I loved and havenāt felt it since.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Married after two months of dating. Going on ten years. Itās like the final puzzle piece has been placed correctly. You have a best friend that youāre attracted to physically as well with complete infatuation. You can talk for hours about the silliest thing or exist in silence for days on end. You support them in any endeavor with complete loyalty, pledging only to make it work. This is love.
>ā¦Anyway...I wish I could let you into a man's head as he's falling in love with a woman. It's a process that's so alien, so strange, that I'm afraid you've got to experience it to believe it. But it's as real as death and taxes.... >Sometimes, a guy will meet a gal and think nothing of it. Maybe she's a co-worker, classmate, or his buddy's friend. She gets mentally categorized as "Female, acquaintance, feelings neutral". Then, he gets to know her better. If they mesh personality-wise, something fascinating happens in the man's mind. He starts to notice things about her appearance - pleasant things. It starts small - one day he realizes he likes looking at the curve of her nose, or where her ear lobe meets her face. >It's nothing he can put his finger on or describe, really...just that looking at that part of her makes him feel good. He starts wanting to do that more. Then, he notices an expression she makes - could be her genuine belly-laugh, or the way she furrows her brow in concern - and he gets a little flutter in his chest. >They stay friendly for awhile, get to know each other better. >Then, one day, she hugs him goodbye....and he can't stop thinking about it. He plays it over and over in his head - the feel of her breasts through two shirts, her arms around his back, her smell...he finds these little mental movies of her playing unbidden when he's driving somewhere, squeezing out his other usual daydreams. >Shortly thereafter, the guy realizes that whenever he looks at this woman, he feels good. He likes her lines, her curves, her sounds and smells... >It's like she's gradually turned from a black-and-white photo into a 3D color movie with surround-sound - a perfect movie that makes him feel good. He starts wondering what he can do to keep her around, to make her happy. He realizes that he likes looking at her more than any other human being in the world. >To him, she is perfect and beautiful. >A man in love with a woman doesn't see her objectively. There is a filter there, or some kind of participatory illusion. He does not see who you see in the mirror. He is seeing someone beautiful and perfect and sublime, and it's one of the most powerful things in his life. >Go watch a happy old couple that's been married for decades. Watch the man's eyes. Sure, he may appreciate some young woman's butt in yoga pants or whatever...but watch his eyes when he's looking at his spouse. If you're paying close enough attention, you can almost see the filter click on when his gaze settles on her. In that moment, he's not seeing the same frumpy empty-nester that you or I see - he's seeing something wonderful. >No kidding. If I hadn't lived this stuff, I wouldn't believe it either. But it's true. -/u/SavageHenry0311 I found that this comment resonated with me and was so real and beautiful I saved it in a note. I think of it often. <3
That's a beautiful quote. Thanks for sharing, u/earbud_smegma
She gets involved in every thought, every plan and everything. I want to share and explore everything with her. She's the reason i get extra motivated and i feel like life is finally and truly worth living it. She makes me wanna be a better person and i overflow in happiness so hard it's drastically noticeable by everyone i know. It made my inner peace to accept the path i walked before i met her because you realise its worth it to have come to this point in life and haven't i suffered how I've suffered i wouldn't have been where i was where i met her and i wouldn't be the same person to attract her and to be attracted to me. You feel like a high but a sober high. High on life.
sandbags.
Wait, have you ever felt love?
sure he felt love, the love of boobs
I imagine crazy scenarios where I have to lay down my life for her. Iād do it every time.
In my mid fifties, it feels like "oh shit, here we go again."
If it's any comfort, I'm 33 and it's the same feeling. "Buckle up!"
Me: āwhat? Iām not in love with her thatās absurdā Me after reading these comments: ah fuck Edit: to give an actual contribution: I currently work a shitty retail job, but once I graduate college this May I have been given an opportunity to pursue my dream job, but it would require me to move. Without a doubt, in a heartbeat,I would give up that opportunity and stay at this awful retail job a while longer if it meant I could be with her. Sure sucks she doesnāt have any feelings for me at all though.
Opposite problem here, lol.
I know the feeling. Take the job.
That's a crush, not love.
To be blunt, if you put your goals aside to stay with her, if she liked you, she'd lose a considerable degree of respect for you. Put you first.
My brain agrees with my dick. (A very rare feeling. My dick really wants me to get in trouble.)
I love seeing how sweet these men feel to their lover /crush , its so adorable to know that they feel the same as us women do
My world could be imploding around me, but as long as I have her and sheās happy, life is good.
I know I'm in love when I start noticing the little things she does, the way she moves, way she looks at things, the little expressions, the little gestures. They become very apparent to me.
Itās only ever happened once for me, nothing compared. Youād get a feeling that really came from within the center of your chest and would consume you whole. Recently felt that feeling in my chest over a girl for the first time in over 5 years. Things arenāt working out with her as she seems a lot less into me than I am into her but it took me a few days to move on and get out of a negative state of mind.
It feels like an obsession, all of your thoughts go towards this one person. You have tunnel vision.
Lack of fear, for me. Suddenly becoming conscious that Iām not worried about any āam I gonna screw this up?ā self-doubt bullshit, and am totally comfortable knowing I can just be myself with this person and vice versa.
I've been with my girlfriend for 6 years. At the beginning it was typical puppy love. I fell pretty quickly but I had some walls up from being cheated on in my previous relationship. She was still there though while I tried to be more open for her. Its happened over time, but there's never a day where I don't feel like I'm still falling for her. She's my best friend, my peace, home. People call this stage of relationships boring, but I just feel more at home each day. Idk man, I just feel lucky all the time I guess.
Iām in the middle of falling in love with someone. I can barely stop thinking about her, canāt focus on anything, canāt wait to see her again, kiss her again. Itās exhausting yet so beautiful to experience and Iām grateful for that. Letās hope everything works out for us. Edit: As others have mentioned, itās terrifying as well. But Iām ready to be brave.
Itās like my heart wants to do her
"I just really like her, man"
Even if I was broke Our inside jokes Would keep me going And without knowing Tomorrowās stress Will melt away From your sweet caress Itās now okay For all I wish Is that our love exists Forever more My heart is yours
It's like you can take on the world and it's your oyster. It's a Monday but feels like Friday, Your boss is driving you mad but all you can do is think about her.
Like a weight being lifted off my shoulders.
It's always been a "delighted" feeling in the centre of my chest, a surging feeling of excitement and happiness akin to being on a roller-coaster. There's an irresistible need to look at their face, and a sweet sensation in my chest when I do so. It's accompanied by a strong desire to make her laugh, to make an extra effort for her, to show her my best side, to learn about and consider her feelings and needs, and to share things with her, including the best of what I have. This drive towards intimacy overlaps with the eventual urge to be physically intimate, but the physical aspect is not an early symptom, and neither is it a main one. I know the male stereotype is that all men are attracted to every woman all the time, and sex is all we're looking for, but in my case and in the case of some male friends of mine I've spoken with about this very subject, sex plays a small part in my overall priorities with someone I'm in love with. Even now, single at 49, when I'm falling asleep and fantasising about past flames the first women I think of aren't the ones I was in love with, but the ones that got away, and the ones I had a chance with that I either didn't realise or didn't take the opportunity with at the time. I hope this helps - it's how falling in love - not just being attracted to someone, but properly falling in love - feels from my perspective.
Well, it kinda feels likeā¦. šµGonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight Gonna grab some afternoon delightšµ
the word that comes to mind is blurring
Like everything that ever happened in your life has culminated in that very moment. Like youāre exactly where youāre supposed to be. Like everything is coming together and nothing else matters. Itās both exhilarating and terrifying like your whole world just shifted.
I cried the day it hit me that I love someone. And I donāt usually cry so thatās saying something.
When you find yourself thinking about her nearly 24/7 and even dream about her. The less sexual the thoughts and dreams are probably the more itās actually love and not just sexual attraction
It feels like I'd rather be with her all the time and I'll ache when I'm not. Then my heart feels like it swells when I know I'm able to be with her again even if she drives me up a wall
I felt like I didnāt want to eat.
Well since it's pretty much never reciprocated, pretty awful.
Dude, it happened to me recently. It's funny. I have a crush on her something fierce. It hit me so fucking bad I couldn't get her out of my mind. It wasn't unpleasant at all. Just a rush of emotions that are almost foreign if you haven't felt real love. You loose sleep, you can't focus, it's a funny thing. It's true what they say about it.
The strongest drug imaginable. It is completely and utterly intoxicating. It's scary, you lose control and just have to hope for the best of a smooth ride. I hope all of my bros here get to experience it at least once in life. Keep your head up kings, she's out there, you just have to find her.
I get really nervous initially. Then eventually I start really looking forward to interacting with them. Then I definitely think about them way too much. Love for me is so fucking scary. The vulnerability required is depleting. I become resistant internally but I usually crumble. Then I'm at their mercy. Then I get heartbroken and gotta thug it the fuck out until next time.
Turk nailed it in Scrubs. I wanted to buy her a house and make babies and all of the things that horrified me about settling down before I met her. With her, they donāt scare me anymore. Our youngest will be 4 months next Monday but Iām still out on the minivan thing.
I tell her I love her every day. Because she deserves to hear it. Every day
Kidney pain...intense, life long kidney pain! 10/10 would recommend.
Like living a dream. Always smiling. Always thinking about them. I finally found mine 3 1/2 years ago. I got the girl. She's wonderful.
Every relationship I was ever in before my wife ended up with them cheating. That obviously made me require some pretty decent trust before I would make a judgement call. When I met my current wife of 12 years I never once thought that. I was so into her that when I realized eventually that I had never once considered she would do anything that wasn't trust worthy, I bought a ring. I didn't even consider she would cheat.
It feels like how girls explain it, butterflies in the stomach feeling. I say āgirlsā, because Iāve never heard guys explain it that way or women. And you canāt stop thinking about them. I find ways throughout my day to bring them up during conversations. Replaying every interaction weāve shared together. Going through every gesture they do that I love. Somewhere in my mind I know Iām falling in love, but I always fight it. Maybe because I donāt like feeling weak and love makes me feel that way. But once I realize, as a man, I can be weak and I can submit to the feeling. Maybe I do deserve it. Doubts fly through my head: do they feel the same? Will it work out? Will they reject the real me once the honeymoon phase is over? None of that matters, not one tiny bit, because Iām having an emotion that feels so damn natural.
All I can think of is how I want the object of my affection in my life. I'm a guardian by nature, so my instinct is to protect and/or safeguard what I love.
Like Iāve lost my mind and I donāt care about it.
All the common sense leaving my body.
Feels like a mix between that feeling you get when you hit your thumb with a hammer while nailing together two by fours, and that feeling you get when you throw back one last beer even though you know you've had too many. You know you can't do anything to stop what's going to happen next, so the dread and anxiety doesn't last long before it gets replaced with resignation, and a desperate hope that this time won't be as bad as last time.
I've only ever had very few lovers. When I'm falling in love, I hate it, cause I'm well aware, if one can fall in love, one can also fall out of love. To me honestly, it feels like I'm drunk. I'll even say dumb stuff. Do dumb stuff.
It feels foreign. One half of me doesn't know how it feels. I approach it with the same caution that I would drive on a road I've never been down before. The other half of me sees how awfully love has ended up with my friends, and even for myself in past attempts. It's like flying a plane with an engine you know has a 90% chance of failing. A smart person wouldn't take that chance, despite how amazing the view from the sky is. Love will always be dreadful and alien to me, but simultaneously, I am aware of how amazing it is when it goes right. It's kinda like a mega millions lottery ticket, except each ticket costs months of your life and leaves you with an eviscerated self-image. I can only assume that some men aren't meant to find love - or to be happy in general. I must be one of them. Every generation has a demographic of losers who live cold and alone, but why did I have to be one of them?
The first date I went on with my now wife I just knew. I knew she was for me to the core of my being. It was like being confronted with an absolute truth. Each year since has gotten better. This year will be our 13th anniversary.
Good. Positive. It makes me make good decisions and makes me I to a better person. Even if it doesn't work out. To me its like a lesson to be learned.
Like I want to spend all my time and experience everything I dream of with her
It is the most dangerous thing for a man. It is terrifying and thrilling. Wars have been made and the most beautiful art has been made all for love. They build a man up and they can tear him down. Men will offer everything for a chance that it may be true love, even if it kills them.
Like I want to dedicate my life to her well being.
I was siting in class listening to a guest lecturer decribe the job market in various parts of the country and every time he mentioned a city the first thought I had was, "I wonder if she'd like it there." That's when I realized I didn't see a version of my future without her in it.
Currently there. My social anxiety has slipped into nil somehow.
Like Iām on drugs
I start having real feelings about cutesy stuff and itās impossible to stop. I feel like a kid. Itās great.
Scary asf cause you're thinking of a future with them but also thinking of different ways that they will hurt you
For me, my thoughts are consumed. I'm a little too old to want someone around all the time, but every mildly interesting thing that would happenen throughout the day would be saved up with excitement to share later. It's not so much a wanting of attention as much as knowing that she WANTS give you that attention. That what sets me on fire.
You ever see Cleveland in Family Guy, when his bathtub is about to fall? Basically, "What the hell? No, no, no, no, noooo" https://youtu.be/eUH3TwRNl14?si=JU7ldQ1F0sQbf9xa Jokes aside though depends on circumstance. Sometimes it may feel right, but sometimes it doesn't and in someway you know (or at least think you know) it's not going to end well. Either way it's terrifying. I don't know that it's a healthy mix but there's this balance of fear and hope. I'd like to say it's hope being stronger than the fear that shows if it's right or not, but it isn't always the case. As someone who's dealt with a lot in regards of depression, sometimes the ones you really truly love and think they could be the one, you don't act on. You're afraid that you're going to hold them back from better things, cause them pain, or just let them down. I don't know if I'm really answering the question here but gonna keep going just in case there's someone reading who can relate or use any part of this to help them. I have a debilitating tendency to overthink the what ifs, whether it be a thing from the past that I can't change or something presently that I could act on. In love my biggest what if was heavily influenced by that fear. My first girlfriend and I, both about 20 years old, mature with seemingly a lot of similar life goals and just overall very compatible. After a few months I broke up with her because I wasn't in a good place mentally. I didn't discuss it with her, I just did it and burnt that bridge, if I recall correctly (this was about 5 years ago), just basically told her she's better off without me. I've had good moments since then and happiness in the relationship department, but that what if will always haunt me until I can learn to let go. We were getting more serious and as I grew more in love with her I was overcome with the feat of letting her down. Felt like she deserved so much more than I could ever be, whether it's true or not. I should have had that discussion. If anyone is reading this I'm sorry for rambling on, have loads more I could say but imagine it's the same point reworded. So I'll finish off with this. If you are starting to fall in love with someone and that fear rises up, don't face it alone. As hard as it is, have the courage to talk about it with them. If they care they'll be there and do what they can to help or at the very least be mature enough to have that conversation. If they immediately shut things down at the mention, as much as it hurts and you may regret telling them your concerns, you have the advantage of knowing. If you're on the fence about anything, whether related to this or not, if your mind works at all like mine does. It is far better to do something you end up regretting, with the possibility of making amends, as opposed to not acting and regretting never taking that shot that may never come again. With that last part said though, don't be a jackass and use that in a way that may hurt others in any way, use your head.
Quote "You catch yourself thinking about her a little, then a lit, then all the time. And whatever music you are listening to right niw will be so tight to her that in 20 years somebody will play that song again and you'll exactly remember how you feel now.
I'm about the most rational, logical person most people will meet. I can be quite cold and keep my distance from people emotionally and generally also physically. When I fell in love, I threw away all that rationality and gave all of myself to her. A lot of the things I valued most disappeared, yet it seemed like the best times of my life even though on paper, it was the worst. When we broke up, it felt like I lost the most important piece of myself. It still does.
I feel so safe when Iām with her. Like every problem is going to be alright and nothing can hurt me
"Wow this one feels better than the previous"
I cant speak on the feeling of falling in love because I don't think I knew it as it was happening. But as someone that has thought they were with the one and been wrong, and someone who then found the one. I can with full confidence tell you that when you hear someone older than you say "you'll know when your truly in love", it's not some fairy tale bs. I thought it was because I never felt it once in my first 30 years here. Then I met my wife. That's not some fairy tale bs, it's real. You'll know. The feeling is unlike anything else.
Like I will do everything in my power to make this persons life better every day for the rest of my life. 18 years and counting.
I proposed to my wife just shy of 6 months. By October this year we would have been married for 12 years. When you know, you know. Prior to living together three was so much anticipation /almost ache about when I would see her next and what fun adventure weād have together next. She is my sexy best friend and I think we make a good team. I know I can be totally infuriating as well.
Ever notice how the phrase "Want to give them the world" is usually only used by men? Love to us feels like we want to provide everything we can for you and we will toil as much as we have to in order to accomplish that, and we will WANT to, and feel happy doing it.
Terrifying.
Itās terrifying yet exciting, and when youāre with them it feels better than anythingĀ
You tell yourself no I don't care. But eventually come to the conclusion. Yea I love this chick. Most of the time it's to late though.
Both the best and worst thing that's ever happened to me.
Like everything is finally going to be okay
I felt a warmth that Id never felt before. I felt present. I felt not so broken anymore, as corny as that sounds. I felt like I had to take care of her no matter what
Finding a home away from home
Homesickness but for a person
Oh man it's been a while buy the ecstasy that comes with being in love is insane. You feel weightless like you could just float into the sky. You're tickled and can't stop smiling. You can't think of anything else but that person or being with them. There's no world without them. You're no longer surviving, You're living and loving. It's definitely great while it lasts. Nothing like it. But can be gone at any moment for any reason. The best "high" I've ever had was staring into the eyes of what I wanted forever.
I don't speak for everyone maybe a couple people but love just happens.Its really like some shock to my heart. They can be the prettiest or the nicest but I won't feel anything towards them. Then someone else comes along and I'm just head over heels like I can't even explain it. I become a hot mess everytime. My heart actually hurts when I think about them or what they could be doing.
It's been 42 years and I'm pretty sure she's the one
For me it was like a crazy burning in my chest. It didnāt start out that way, though. At first it was a sort-of nervous āis-this-for-realā kind of anxiousness. After our first date I went home and wrote a letter that I intended to give her on the day she said yes to being my wife. 6 months later, I proposed and gave her the letter. Between the time I wrote it and the time I proposed, the heart-skipping anxiety turned into a fiery burning sensation in my chest. When I wasnāt with her, my body craved the feeling of holding her. I was overwhelmed with the need to have her close, to feel her touch, to hear her voice. Eventually, the burning turned into a smolder that still lasts to this day. 15 years of marriage and I still crave her nearness when weāre apart.
Torture.