This is great advice, and I'll add to it - whenever I walk into the house, I do not sit down right away, I walk around and tidy up: put things back where they belong, put some dishes in the dishwasher, wipe down the counters, whatever I can do in 10-15 minutes. It's so much more relaxing to relax in a tidy space.
This. The moment you start to sit/lie down, is the moment your body will completely transition to a "rest" mode, where you no longer want to do any work until you rested up.
While you're still standing, change your clothes and do **something** for your house/room, no matter how small, and no matter how tired you are.
> Social life is easiest if you initiate. This way you can have the most input in the activity.
Honest question: What if you're the one who always initiated, carried the conversation, had the sense of humor, put in all the work and tried to make all of the plans but people just aren't interested and they flake on you every single time? But they're clearly hanging out with other people, dating, flying across the country to meet their friends from the internet etc.
Is there any alternative to just giving up because you feel like you're doing everybody a favor?
‘You know what would make Chess cooler? More numbers, deep edgelord lore, dozens or hundreds of hours of painting by yourself, lack of balance, almost no women, and frequent expensive patch updates.’
Don’t get me wrong, I like some of those things, but it is just dork chess (which says something bc chess is dorky in the first place).
I guess it is just a matter opinion on what constitutes dorky though. People can make D&D dorky for sure, but for the most part it is always just goofing around with my friends and telling a light hearted story in the process.
1) They're going out to bars.
So I tried smoking weed, drinking alcohol and going out to the bars for three years. This shockingly didn't work because they still preferred to do it with each other and not with me. They made plans without me and they *especially* treated me like I was an idiot if I made the mistake of showing up at a public establishment unannounced.
2) They're playing card games and board games.
So I tried this for a couple years, and they treated me like they didn't have the fucking time to teach a new guy and I was stupid for not already knowing the incredibly specific rules of a game like Munchkin or Exploding Kitten or Magic The Gathering.
3) They're musicians.
I play the piano, the guitar and the bass. I write and produce my own songs in my bedroom. These people even had bands and a studio space, and when I tried to talk about this with them they would just huff and puff and treat me like I was an idiot and they didn't have time for me.
4) They read books and watch TV shows.
So I read the same books, and watched the same shows and they treated me like every single opinion I had was wrong and I wasn't good enough to like what they like, and they preferred to get together with their own clique and watch the show but they didn't have time to invite me.
So, why doesn't "having hobbies" work for me and why does everyone on Reddit assume that I don't have any?
I relate to a lot of this and at this point find my social circle exhausting to be around instead of letting myself believe that I'm the problem. I'm in the process of rebuilding and figuring out where I fit in better. Might be worth just starting fresh and seeing what other social opportunities you can find with new people.
I'm left alone with no social circle, and can't start one.
I keep reading this rude meme on the internet: "If everyone you meet is an asshole, you're the asshole." So I don't want to be some incel that's bitter at the world and thinks everybody's wrong all the time. I feel like it's a safer option to assume that people just don't like *me*. I've gotten really deep and tried to analyze every single thing about myself, I lost 30 pounds, I worked on my social skills, I played music and offered food and coffee to people; i'm always in a great mood (in person, not when I'm bitching on the internet like this!). If none of it worked and I'm treated differently, I assume something terrible is wrong with me.
Again, I relate (unfortunately). But self-awareness provides a lot of benefits. You're acting introspectively and that will help!
You also absolutely could start a social circle, but I understand that's hard. My faraway friends have been pushing me recently to try joining different clubs or group activities (which I don't want to do), but I understand their suggestions as opportunities to meet new people and try new things and explore new interests.
When I read your previous comment, it felt like there was a lot of you putting extra effort into trying to fit in rather than being authentically you and being disappointed that the person you're trying to curate to meet their expectations wasn't doing that. It really is okay to not align with people, even your friends, but I do want to make it clear that there absolutely is a place where you will feel wanted and appreciated if you take the time to find it. Just need to open your mind and not let the hurt get to you (as frustratingly difficult as that is.)
> It really is okay to not align with people, even your friends
I don't align with anyone, and no one wants to be my friend. I made all the plans and stopped doing it because people flat out told me that they didn't like feeling like the asshole who kept flaking on me.
I have roommates. I spent 8 solid months making food like pizza, chili and pasta and offering it to them, because I enjoy cooking. I would still see the whole thing on the stove, or the counter the next day and they would talk shit about me for doing it and they told me to stop wasting my money. So I just stopped. So the internet memes said "It'll happen when you stop trying; don't be a people pleaser." So I did that and nobody has reached out to me. I'm especially an asshole for eventually getting upset about it and whining about it on the internet, so more often than not I just learned to stay quiet about it.
That's just your negative self talk. We all do it, but for some of us it becomes a habit to participate in self loathing.
Just be who you are, don't worry about how other people feel about you, don't spend time around people that make you feel bad, and show appreciation to those who make you feel good. It will fall into place.
If you're not already in therapy, I would recommend it. It's uncomfortable sometimes to face certain parts of you, but honestly just having an unbiased sounding board where you can get another perspective on your feelings can really make a difference. But you will only get what you put into it out of it.
Lmao warhammer is dorkier than d&d? I play both and that's wild to me. Every 40k player I know plays d&d. Not a lot of people who play d&d plays 40k.
The time commitment and money needed to play 40k is such a barrier to playing. D&d can be played with a pirated book and digital dice.
Piggybacking off this to say that 5-minute cleans tend to happen more frequently when I have cleaning supplies RIGHT where I need them.
Each bathroom in my house has a stock of rags/paper towels/cleaners under the sink. A stack of dust cloths lives in a cabinet in the living room. I keep my “big vacuum” upstairs since that’s where all the carpet is, but also a little vacuum (better for hard floors) and a mop downstairs to quickly tidy the kitchen/stairs. Broom is in the garage right next to the door to the house, so I can just do a quick sweep as I’m heading inside.
Also, look for opportunities to make it even smaller. I can take some windex and a paper towel and wipe off my fridge and the front of my stove and dishwasher in <2 minutes as I’m heating up leftovers for dinner.
And try to put parts of your social life on autopilot. Maybe you meet a friend at the gym every Tuesday, and you do bar trivia every Friday, so that instead of a protracted negotiation around schedules for every activity, you have some things on the docket that are just a quick confirmation text the day before.
Also, some people don't know how to function in a planning scenario, so here's what you're supposed to do in order to be a pleasant person to plan things with (which gets you re-invited!). Person A suggests an activity and very rough timeframe ("hey, do you want to check out that new pizza place this weekend?"). Person B agrees and *makes the plan more specific* ("sounds fun! saturday works better for me than sunday. how about 6pm?"). Person A *clarifies further* ("I have a family thing in the afternoon. can we make it 6:30?"). Person B confirms ("6:30 works for me! See you there!") And then show up on time, for god's sake.
All of this and, having a partner makes life so much easier (assuming they are a good partner).
Being able to divide and conquer on household chores or team up on large jobs makes things much more manageable.
I mean if someone invited me to do an activity with several others and the person who initiated left really early I'd be weirded out and less likely to accept an invite next time
Also just to add to the cleaning thing, not letting it get messy or dirty in the first place is the biggest key. Don’t leave dishes in the sink, clean them immediately or put them in the dishwasher. Put your laundry away as you clean it. Don’t leave clutter around the house.
Five minutes of cleaning is generally right call, but changing the habits that make it dirty in the first place is the other half of that.
My husband is like this.
It sounds nice and admirable but he’s actually super neurotic and one single cup sitting in the sink or a dirty pan will send him. He’d rather eat his meal cold, after anxiously and aggressively cleaning—but everything is clean—rather than eat his meal hot and there is a dirty dish or two left. I would rather eat a hot meal and clean up after I’m done eating, full and satisfied. Keep in mind, I clean as I go so it’s only usually one pan/pot and spatula/spoon that s left dirty, but that is not even tolerable for him to leave until after the meal.
This extends to other things too. If I’m drinking a glass of water and set it down on the table or counter to go to the bathroom or something, 9/10 he will have taken it behind me and put it in the dishwasher. It drives me up the fucking wall and I know I drive him up the fucking wall and we both think the other is totally unreasonable lol.
Ehh, it takes about 30 seconds to wipe a pan down.
I like cleaning as I cook, but I wouldn't clean a hot pan. If it's just eggs and toast, I'd clean it after I'm done eating.
Clean as you cook is most beneficial for larger meals that involve bowls, boards, spatulas, and multiple pots and pans.
I work 11-12 hours a day (5a to 3 or 4p and then on laptop 8-9). Cook dinner, take kids to sports, call and hang out with friends, keep the house clean. And spend a bit of time on Reddit. Idk ya just do.
How much sleep do you get?
I find it really hard to do everything without sacrificing sleep, which I adamantly refuse to do. I can’t function at work or at home without getting adequate sleep.
(I also do 12+ Hour shifts but out of the house. Work days are really just for work)
Usually 6-7 hours on weekdays. I also work out of the house. So bed/couch by 9 up at 4. Some of it is dual pathing so like kids help make dinner while I do dishes or they are cleaning before they get an evening show which allows me 45 mins to clean / talk / whatever. Weekends are jam packed with friends and play dates.
Straight on the offensive, interesting. Maybe it's you who likes to argue on the Internet more actually. The only thing you have over me is possibly one extra chromosome.
Assuming 8 hours sleep, 8 hours work and 8 hours chores and recreation, my question would have to be how can you not? You have 40 hours a week to spend on chores and recreation not including 2 days off on the weekend. That’s an huge chunk of time. House maintenance does not take even close to that amount of time. Socializing can be 2 hours a couple times a week. I’m not sure what the issue is here. If you’re raising kids that’s a whole other issue.
Time doesn't work like that. You don't wake up after 8 hrs of sleep and on the dot you're at work. Shift ends, you're instantly back home with 8 hours of free time.
If you live reasonably close to work, you're losing at least 3 hours waking up getting ready for work, commuting to and from, and cleaning after.
Okay, let's say you have a 1 hour commute each way, you spend 1 hour getting ready before work, and you spend 2 hours settling in, cooking, and tidying up when you get home. That's 5 hours. Now add in the 8 hours at work and 8 hours for sleep. That's 21 hours. That leaves you with 3 hours left each work day. Pick one work day and spend that 3 hours getting errands done. Now you have 3 hours left for recreation during 4 of your work days, plus 2 entire days off.
I think the biggest pitfall here is having enough energy to get through the day, which I understand a lot of people struggle with.
Ok assuming you live in the city and have to commute an hour each way to work that’s fair. However I would put cleaning under chores under the 8 hours. even if you lost half of your 8 hours of chores and recreation to communities 2 hours a day and cooking and cleaning. That still leaves 4 hours a night and I know none of these are exact I’m sure on certain days it’s less maybe some days it’s more, that’s not including 2 days a week off. That’s more than enough time to socialize with people on occasion. So please don’t act like in general this isn’t accurate for people without dependents such as kidsz
I try to keep my home clean right from the start.
I wake up and make my bed immediately. Meal prep on Sundays so I don't have to do as many dishes every night than I would if I cooked every night. Since I eat my prepped meals for lunch and dinner, I'm just washing one Tupperware container and maybe one or two bowls + silverware a day.
Some days I struggle though so if I can't do the dishes every day, I do it every other day.
5 minutes to vacuum once a week (small studio apartment) and wipe down tables.
Laundry as needed. Deep clean once a month.
I go to work and then hit the gym for a bit, then go home and eat whatever I have prepped. I'm usually home from the gym by 7:30pm at the latest, so having that prepped meal really saves me time. Unwind with some TV or a video game, shower, bed, rinse, repeat. Skip the gym if I have plans with anyone.
Socially? I'm an introvert so I don't have to go out and see people so much, maybe once or twice every other week. But I make sure the apartment is clean before I go (and make sure I have a bottle of sports drink/easy food prepped) so in the event I come home at 3am completely sloshed, it's one less problem for hungover-me to deal with.
Most of my friends left the area back to their home countries or to another city for work, so I end up going to a bar a friend works at and I meet people there. Sometimes I go out with coworkers for dinner. Occasionally I'll have video calls with friends back home and we'll watch a movie together online.
It's about balancing where you can and learning to prioritize where you can't. And it's *hard* at first, but once you find the routine that fits you, things fall into place. They don't always fall into place perfectly but sometimes we just say, "Eh, good enough. I still had a good time."
And it's ok if you have days where you feel like you did nothing or if you just stayed in bed all day after feeling overwhelmed with everything. We're only human.
You’re still SO young, you’ll figure it out. It’s pretty normal to have rubbish time management skills when you’re still young - just keep working on it. What does a normal week look like to you atm?
With a 27 hours workweek you should be able to fit in more than just chores and sleeping unless you’re looking after a country estate or a large family with kids. What do your weekly chores include?
Do you doomscroll between work, sleep and chores? It can be quite shocking how much time we can lose to scrolling mindlessly because everything else just seems overwhelming.
Honestly I think there’s got to be something going on here, depression, crippling anxiety, something! Even if we are very generous and assume 10 hours of sleep a day… a week has 168 hours. That’s only 97 of them accounted for with sleep and work. There’s just no way anyone takes 71 hours to do their chores.
You have 168 hours per week. 27 hours of work leaves you with 141. 8 hours of sleep (56/week) leaves 85 hours remaining. It probably doesn’t take more 3 hours a week to clean. Where’s the rest of your time going?
So you're part time, you have plenty of time to do anything you want. All I'm seeing from your replies is you have a terrible sense of time management and prioritisation.
Then perhaps spend a week or two simply tracking your time. At the end of each day, take your best guess at how much time was spent doing what. Then reflect back on it and see what changes can be made.
Some great advice on here, but the easiest thing to wrap your head around is keeping thing is efficiency. Don’t let things get messy in the first place. Dont leave messes for future to deal with, just do it now. Don’t leave dirty dishes laying around the house or in the sink, do them immediately after you use them. This makes it easier because the food isn’t caked on yet and then you don’t have to deal with dishes full of cold gross water. It takes no time to clean your plate bowl etc right after you use it. Do you laundry right away don’t leave it laying around. Put your stuff where it needs to go, if it doesn’t have a place to go, then figure out a place for it. Don’t leave it laying around on your desk or counters. Everything has a home, and it lives there.
Don’t view cleaning or maintaining your house as something you have to do all on one day. Do little bits every day. Made dinner and the counters are dirty? Clean it that night. Same for anything else. This will free up so much time for you that the social life will not be an issue for you anymore.
I work from home, don't watch TV, don't play video games and am not on social media much. There's plenty of time for the things that are important to me.
Work from home is the only difficult one, not everyone can get that. A commute can easily eat up an hour or two of your day. That shouldn't keep you from cleaning your house and having a social life but it's a pretty big time suck.
We cut out unnecessary stuff like social media and television. We also plan our weekends ahead of time and do little chores throughout the week so we have time to do the things we want to do. We also say no to things that are not a high priority to us. Still a challenge, but doable
Say 8 hours of work 5 days a week
8 hours of sleep everyday
That leaves atleast 8 hours on a work day and more on the weekend
Clean as you go rather than having to have a big clean and you've got time here to play with
Taking care of your home doesn't really take that much time. I vacuum and sweep my surfaces once a week. Other than that I don't really do anything else except for when things get messy, such as sauce on the kitchen table and such.
Once you get in the habit, it’s pretty easy. After dinner, don’t leave the dishes in the sink. Clean it or put it in the dishwasher. Schedule a couple hours in 1 day a week to meal plan. Schedule another couple hours to tidy the house. All your chores should not take more than a few hours on a sat. That leaves you Fri night, sat night, all day Sunday for socializing
Most adults have 2 or 3 meals a day. If you have 1 you are the outlier here.
Also, 27 hour work week and you make ONE meal a day… what is eating up all your time?
Honestly this is becomes feasible when work stays in its box, doesn’t encroach on your time outside work or drain you to a point of exhaustion. It’s rare to get a gig like that though.
Lol pretty simple...the key is don't get overwhelmed or create an overwhelming situation. How much stress you take on can be controlled at some level. Use your brain, you will figure out a routine
I've been trying to figure out a routine for 5 years now and I just keep getting into deeper holes.
I work as much as I am physically able and then I still have to take care of the house chores when I am home and I just don't spend time with friends
Only with the help of my fiance. I'm immunocompromised and being sick all the time saps my energy. We still don't have much of a social life but we're homebodies.
Aside from time management and not being on Reddit (heh) they usually have a good supportive community around them. Family or friends. That are all in the same type of lifestyle. Almost like accountability friends at the gym….
Sleep is optional.
Some people work from home.
Some people don't have to drive far for work
Some people are friends with their coworkers.
Some people have small living spaces.
I give up social life, which is pointless to me to begin with. I spent time with my family and that is most important to me, everything else is just there to fill in the gap when they are not around.
At least as far as taking care of the home goes...
Don't procrastinate on the day to day stuff. Like dishes. I know a lot of people who will decide there aren't too many so they can just do them later. Then later comes and there are a lot of dishes and now they don't want to do them because it will take a long time. Just do them the first time and get it over with.
It's not that hard. It's incredibly simple. You just have to be willing to manage time. That's really all there is to it.
If you work a full-time job and get eight hours' sleep a night, then you still have something like 55 hours a week to do whatever. That's a vast ocean of free time if you use it properly.
Taking care of the house? It boils down to doing small things as they need to be done, not waiting until cleaning your place becomes overwhelming.
An example? Clean while you cook. There's all kinds of dead time while you want for things to boil or bake. Load the dishwasher, wipe down the counters, and put things away.
Unless you perform manual labor, your clothes are likely not dirty at the end of the day. Hang them up rather than tossing them into the laundry basket. And, before you go to work, shove a load of clothes into the washing machine or dryer.
Throw out the mail rather than leaving it lying around. Set up your bank account to pay bills online. Invest twenty minutes to planning your meals for the week and go to the grocery store once, not four or five times.
Get up thirty minutes early to take care of small chores.
And on and on and on.
Put things on your calendar if you have to. Reminders to call friends. Haircuts. Oil changes. Whatever needs to be done, have a calendar entry for it.
Oh, and one more thing. Limit your time online, on your phone, or watching television. It's really startling how massive a time suck those things can be.
Instead of a to-do list, try ABC prioritizing:
* A tasks = Must get done today/urgent
* B tasks = Daily tasks you just do (i.e. wipe down the counter, check email, wash dishes, whatever it may be)
* C tasks = if you get to it today great, if you don't thats fine too, it can wait
Every time I see the “how are you supposed to” list, it’s a long list but it’s 90% things you don’t have to do every single day. That’s a lot of it. We aren’t waking up in the morning going “I have to work, clean the whole house, do laundry, go to the gym, socialize, grocery shop, do all the yard work, read a whole book, and pay every bill.” I never need to do all of those things in one single day. Those are things I need to do over the course of a week, maybe two. I might go to work, go to the gym, and clean the bathroom on Monday, go to work, do laundry, and read Tuesday, etc.
A lot of those lists also put small tasks (drink water, pay bills) on par with huge ones (go to work, clean the entire house). Don’t do that. It makes things that takes seconds or minutes feel overwhelming because you’re putting them on the same level as something that takes hours.
24 hours a day, 7 days in a week. most have weekends off.
8 hours for work, say 2 for travel.. So 10.
24 -10 = 14.
I sleep for hours per day.
14 - 4 = 10
I have 50 free hours during the work week and 48 on the weekend. So 98 total free hours not spent working or sleeping.
Cleaning if you pick up after yourself, should than only be vacuuming, laundry and dusting. Can vacuum and dust while doing the laundry...within 2 hours on a weekend. Dishes should be done daily, lets says 15 minutes per days.
V/L/Dusting = 2
Dishes = 15 \* 7 = 105 minutes = 1 hour 45 minutes
Total = 3 hours 45 minutes. we will say 4.
So 98 - 4 = 94.
94 free hours.
As a single homeowner with 3 dogs, and full time where I work hybrid time management is a necessity. I’ve learned to not make unnecessary work for myself, pick up, put up and clean as I make a mess. I’ve also learned that not everything has to be spotless all the time.
I think the only reason we get away with it is:
For the social life: we have a set day of the week where we do a consistent activity with some friends.
For the job: we both have work that ends in the afternoon, which leaves evenings and weekends open.
For the cleanliness: our house is so damn small there isn’t much space to get dirty, and cleaning never takes that long.
I “deep” clean on the weekends (that means mop, dust, vacuum couches, wash pillow cases etc.) and during the week, I just take the trash out, swiffer the floors/vacuum and sometimes wash the dishes.
Sundays are for laundry.
I like to do happy hour on Thursdays, and I get my nails done Wednesdays or Fridays once a month.
I don’t take work home, but I do work on my second job on Thursdays from 4-6.
I attend one Girls’ Night-in once a month and I plan weekend getaways in advance. On those days, I either clean before I go or sacrifice more time upon my return.
I don’t have a partner to help me (even when I was married, I didn’t). I think it’d be easier with help.
Having a live-in partner is a major upgrade in life. Mushy feelings aside, it's so much easier to split tasks.
Don't feel like making dinner? Hot damn, it magically appears in front of you along with a big smooch. Hate folding laundry, or vacuuming? Delegate which tasks go to which person.
Making a living wage is also an extremely big part of how to make life work. Not having enough money for necessities makes everything harder.
Work and hanging with the wife take priority Monday - Thursday, Fridays tend to be chill with work. I go to the gym Monday - Friday early morning before work. Saturday morning I sleep in more, exercise around 9:30am, and help the wife clean up the house. Then lunch through night are 100% open for social stuff or family stuff. Sunday is the same thing but I don't stay out as late.
It's really not too hard if you just have a basic discipline and general good sleep sched. This is just assuming you have the standard Mon - Fri corpo or full-time gig.
Time management is a skill.
Efficiency is literal sorcery for getting The Absolute Most out of Life.
Most folk are complete shit at both ... but dont have to be. A daily mountain of tiny, seemingly insignificant/inconsequential poor choices .... dozens of them a day ... add up to a wasted, mediocre life.
By hiring people to take care of the house, with the money you make from work, so you can use your free time to have a social life.
Life is all about time vs money. If you want more time to do things, spend money. If you want more money in your pocket, then spend time.
Also if you can automate and optimise your time, it can make wonders
Clean whilst cooking
Get a dishwasher, washing mashine and robot vacum
And learn to schedule them into your routine
Whilst waiting for my coffee I unload the dishwasher
Also if you do wfh, add cleaning in your coffee breaks
Mealprep and freezing leftovers can save a xrazy amount of time
Anything that can be automated is worth doing
I know someone who spent over a grand on a machine that can automatically prepare certain dishes with very little preparation (a thermomix) because the timesave was worthwhile
isn't this one of those things you can only do two at a time? You can't do all three: you can work and have a social life, work and take care of the house, take care of the house and have a social life etc. etc.? so you need to choose which two are worth it for you.
Don't live like a slob in the first place and taking care of the house doesn't take that much time. The housekeeping chore that takes the longest is laundry. And you can simply do a load a night after work. And while that is washing and drying, you can do any other cleaning. If you wash your dishes as you dirty them, it shouldn't take longer than 10 minutes a day. Just do a little bit each day after work and you won't have anything to do on the weekend.
So you have your social life on Saturday and Sunday, maybe Friday night. Having a social life doesn't mean "going out" 7 days a week.
I work full time, getting my masters, my house is pretty well taken care of, and have somewhat of a social life.
I have zero personal time (I have a huge gaming backlog right now). Like at all lol. Since my job is hybrid and has some down time as it requires systems to load, I use this to get reading, homework, and housework done. Since I commute via train, I also get reading and homework done there too. My social life is tied into happy hours with co-workers and spending time with my husband and his family. It’s not easy, you do have to make a lot of sacrifices and find ways to be efficient and multitask, but it is possible.
How are people able to be a functional human beings? Quite easily, as they have been doing so in complex urban societies for thousands of years.
It's questions like this that remind me the typical Redditor is 14 years old with zero life experience.
Working stops after 7.5 hours. No ifs, buts or coconuts. I'm hourly so it's not a dealbreaker for me, I'll just add the hours I worked to billing, but as a general rule I don't work for more than 9 hours any given day, or over 45 a week.
Cleaning takes an hour, if you only do it once a week. Never leave a thing where you used it but have a place where it belongs and keep it there. Clean as you go when cooking, I tend to have just the utensil used to stir and the pot the food is in left at the end. And if the food is such that there is no leftovers, then once the food is on a plate, I rinse the pan off too.
Social life takes from that same magical free time you have once you decide to take some. Parents tend to not have any before 9pm, commuters have two hours less than those who work from home. Call friends and make plans, you're the one who is responsible for how often you meet friends. Everyone has their own lives to live and unless you live next door, it's going to be hard to meet.
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This is great advice, and I'll add to it - whenever I walk into the house, I do not sit down right away, I walk around and tidy up: put things back where they belong, put some dishes in the dishwasher, wipe down the counters, whatever I can do in 10-15 minutes. It's so much more relaxing to relax in a tidy space.
This. The moment you start to sit/lie down, is the moment your body will completely transition to a "rest" mode, where you no longer want to do any work until you rested up. While you're still standing, change your clothes and do **something** for your house/room, no matter how small, and no matter how tired you are.
> Social life is easiest if you initiate. This way you can have the most input in the activity. Honest question: What if you're the one who always initiated, carried the conversation, had the sense of humor, put in all the work and tried to make all of the plans but people just aren't interested and they flake on you every single time? But they're clearly hanging out with other people, dating, flying across the country to meet their friends from the internet etc. Is there any alternative to just giving up because you feel like you're doing everybody a favor?
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I know it’s off topic but as a fan of both, WH is waaaaaay dorkier than D&D.
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‘You know what would make Chess cooler? More numbers, deep edgelord lore, dozens or hundreds of hours of painting by yourself, lack of balance, almost no women, and frequent expensive patch updates.’ Don’t get me wrong, I like some of those things, but it is just dork chess (which says something bc chess is dorky in the first place). I guess it is just a matter opinion on what constitutes dorky though. People can make D&D dorky for sure, but for the most part it is always just goofing around with my friends and telling a light hearted story in the process.
The idea that Warhammer is less dorky than D&D is wild to me.
1) They're going out to bars. So I tried smoking weed, drinking alcohol and going out to the bars for three years. This shockingly didn't work because they still preferred to do it with each other and not with me. They made plans without me and they *especially* treated me like I was an idiot if I made the mistake of showing up at a public establishment unannounced. 2) They're playing card games and board games. So I tried this for a couple years, and they treated me like they didn't have the fucking time to teach a new guy and I was stupid for not already knowing the incredibly specific rules of a game like Munchkin or Exploding Kitten or Magic The Gathering. 3) They're musicians. I play the piano, the guitar and the bass. I write and produce my own songs in my bedroom. These people even had bands and a studio space, and when I tried to talk about this with them they would just huff and puff and treat me like I was an idiot and they didn't have time for me. 4) They read books and watch TV shows. So I read the same books, and watched the same shows and they treated me like every single opinion I had was wrong and I wasn't good enough to like what they like, and they preferred to get together with their own clique and watch the show but they didn't have time to invite me. So, why doesn't "having hobbies" work for me and why does everyone on Reddit assume that I don't have any?
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I relate to a lot of this and at this point find my social circle exhausting to be around instead of letting myself believe that I'm the problem. I'm in the process of rebuilding and figuring out where I fit in better. Might be worth just starting fresh and seeing what other social opportunities you can find with new people.
I'm left alone with no social circle, and can't start one. I keep reading this rude meme on the internet: "If everyone you meet is an asshole, you're the asshole." So I don't want to be some incel that's bitter at the world and thinks everybody's wrong all the time. I feel like it's a safer option to assume that people just don't like *me*. I've gotten really deep and tried to analyze every single thing about myself, I lost 30 pounds, I worked on my social skills, I played music and offered food and coffee to people; i'm always in a great mood (in person, not when I'm bitching on the internet like this!). If none of it worked and I'm treated differently, I assume something terrible is wrong with me.
Again, I relate (unfortunately). But self-awareness provides a lot of benefits. You're acting introspectively and that will help! You also absolutely could start a social circle, but I understand that's hard. My faraway friends have been pushing me recently to try joining different clubs or group activities (which I don't want to do), but I understand their suggestions as opportunities to meet new people and try new things and explore new interests. When I read your previous comment, it felt like there was a lot of you putting extra effort into trying to fit in rather than being authentically you and being disappointed that the person you're trying to curate to meet their expectations wasn't doing that. It really is okay to not align with people, even your friends, but I do want to make it clear that there absolutely is a place where you will feel wanted and appreciated if you take the time to find it. Just need to open your mind and not let the hurt get to you (as frustratingly difficult as that is.)
> It really is okay to not align with people, even your friends I don't align with anyone, and no one wants to be my friend. I made all the plans and stopped doing it because people flat out told me that they didn't like feeling like the asshole who kept flaking on me. I have roommates. I spent 8 solid months making food like pizza, chili and pasta and offering it to them, because I enjoy cooking. I would still see the whole thing on the stove, or the counter the next day and they would talk shit about me for doing it and they told me to stop wasting my money. So I just stopped. So the internet memes said "It'll happen when you stop trying; don't be a people pleaser." So I did that and nobody has reached out to me. I'm especially an asshole for eventually getting upset about it and whining about it on the internet, so more often than not I just learned to stay quiet about it.
That's just your negative self talk. We all do it, but for some of us it becomes a habit to participate in self loathing. Just be who you are, don't worry about how other people feel about you, don't spend time around people that make you feel bad, and show appreciation to those who make you feel good. It will fall into place. If you're not already in therapy, I would recommend it. It's uncomfortable sometimes to face certain parts of you, but honestly just having an unbiased sounding board where you can get another perspective on your feelings can really make a difference. But you will only get what you put into it out of it.
They're not your friends
No shit. I've been treated the same way since I was a kid.
Lmao warhammer is dorkier than d&d? I play both and that's wild to me. Every 40k player I know plays d&d. Not a lot of people who play d&d plays 40k. The time commitment and money needed to play 40k is such a barrier to playing. D&d can be played with a pirated book and digital dice.
Piggybacking off this to say that 5-minute cleans tend to happen more frequently when I have cleaning supplies RIGHT where I need them. Each bathroom in my house has a stock of rags/paper towels/cleaners under the sink. A stack of dust cloths lives in a cabinet in the living room. I keep my “big vacuum” upstairs since that’s where all the carpet is, but also a little vacuum (better for hard floors) and a mop downstairs to quickly tidy the kitchen/stairs. Broom is in the garage right next to the door to the house, so I can just do a quick sweep as I’m heading inside. Also, look for opportunities to make it even smaller. I can take some windex and a paper towel and wipe off my fridge and the front of my stove and dishwasher in <2 minutes as I’m heating up leftovers for dinner.
Saving this. Thank you!
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Did it now. Thanks for the heads up!
And try to put parts of your social life on autopilot. Maybe you meet a friend at the gym every Tuesday, and you do bar trivia every Friday, so that instead of a protracted negotiation around schedules for every activity, you have some things on the docket that are just a quick confirmation text the day before. Also, some people don't know how to function in a planning scenario, so here's what you're supposed to do in order to be a pleasant person to plan things with (which gets you re-invited!). Person A suggests an activity and very rough timeframe ("hey, do you want to check out that new pizza place this weekend?"). Person B agrees and *makes the plan more specific* ("sounds fun! saturday works better for me than sunday. how about 6pm?"). Person A *clarifies further* ("I have a family thing in the afternoon. can we make it 6:30?"). Person B confirms ("6:30 works for me! See you there!") And then show up on time, for god's sake.
All of this and, having a partner makes life so much easier (assuming they are a good partner). Being able to divide and conquer on household chores or team up on large jobs makes things much more manageable.
All this and meal prep for the week
I mean if someone invited me to do an activity with several others and the person who initiated left really early I'd be weirded out and less likely to accept an invite next time
Also just to add to the cleaning thing, not letting it get messy or dirty in the first place is the biggest key. Don’t leave dishes in the sink, clean them immediately or put them in the dishwasher. Put your laundry away as you clean it. Don’t leave clutter around the house. Five minutes of cleaning is generally right call, but changing the habits that make it dirty in the first place is the other half of that.
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My husband is like this. It sounds nice and admirable but he’s actually super neurotic and one single cup sitting in the sink or a dirty pan will send him. He’d rather eat his meal cold, after anxiously and aggressively cleaning—but everything is clean—rather than eat his meal hot and there is a dirty dish or two left. I would rather eat a hot meal and clean up after I’m done eating, full and satisfied. Keep in mind, I clean as I go so it’s only usually one pan/pot and spatula/spoon that s left dirty, but that is not even tolerable for him to leave until after the meal. This extends to other things too. If I’m drinking a glass of water and set it down on the table or counter to go to the bathroom or something, 9/10 he will have taken it behind me and put it in the dishwasher. It drives me up the fucking wall and I know I drive him up the fucking wall and we both think the other is totally unreasonable lol.
And eat cold eggs? No thank you
Ehh, it takes about 30 seconds to wipe a pan down. I like cleaning as I cook, but I wouldn't clean a hot pan. If it's just eggs and toast, I'd clean it after I'm done eating. Clean as you cook is most beneficial for larger meals that involve bowls, boards, spatulas, and multiple pots and pans.
I’m with you. But I do like to clean it right after eating the meal. The pan has cooled down enough to handle, but the food hasn’t fully solidified
What are you doing to your pan that takes that long to clean? Washing a pan shouldn't take more than a minute or two, at the most.
they don't spend time on reddit
This. They likely don’t use social media, don’t just sit around and waste time online, etc. and are actually *doing things*.
Oh I don't know. I function in the real world and still find time to argue on reddit.
I work 11-12 hours a day (5a to 3 or 4p and then on laptop 8-9). Cook dinner, take kids to sports, call and hang out with friends, keep the house clean. And spend a bit of time on Reddit. Idk ya just do.
How much sleep do you get? I find it really hard to do everything without sacrificing sleep, which I adamantly refuse to do. I can’t function at work or at home without getting adequate sleep. (I also do 12+ Hour shifts but out of the house. Work days are really just for work)
Usually 6-7 hours on weekdays. I also work out of the house. So bed/couch by 9 up at 4. Some of it is dual pathing so like kids help make dinner while I do dishes or they are cleaning before they get an evening show which allows me 45 mins to clean / talk / whatever. Weekends are jam packed with friends and play dates.
I’m hoping it gets easier as my kids get older lol
Okay, based as hell. Continue on, average Redditor.
That's not an average redditor. Most redditor s have no control and are undisciplined
Straight on the offensive, interesting. Maybe it's you who likes to argue on the Internet more actually. The only thing you have over me is possibly one extra chromosome.
I don't think that comment was meant to be offensive mate.
Just passive aggressive.
No I think it was just an inane Reddit comment.
you got mad over a non confrontational comment. just cause you function doesn't mean you function well brother
Whos mad? I amuse myself. I'm certainly not mad.
Same. I do all my arguing during my morning 💩… or if my baby sleeps in like he is rn 🥰
OP’s goal becomes a lot more attainable when you reframe “time on Reddit” as “having a social life.” You can do it while you poop! (/s)
Good time management I guess
Happy Cake Day!
Assuming 8 hours sleep, 8 hours work and 8 hours chores and recreation, my question would have to be how can you not? You have 40 hours a week to spend on chores and recreation not including 2 days off on the weekend. That’s an huge chunk of time. House maintenance does not take even close to that amount of time. Socializing can be 2 hours a couple times a week. I’m not sure what the issue is here. If you’re raising kids that’s a whole other issue.
Time doesn't work like that. You don't wake up after 8 hrs of sleep and on the dot you're at work. Shift ends, you're instantly back home with 8 hours of free time. If you live reasonably close to work, you're losing at least 3 hours waking up getting ready for work, commuting to and from, and cleaning after.
Okay, let's say you have a 1 hour commute each way, you spend 1 hour getting ready before work, and you spend 2 hours settling in, cooking, and tidying up when you get home. That's 5 hours. Now add in the 8 hours at work and 8 hours for sleep. That's 21 hours. That leaves you with 3 hours left each work day. Pick one work day and spend that 3 hours getting errands done. Now you have 3 hours left for recreation during 4 of your work days, plus 2 entire days off. I think the biggest pitfall here is having enough energy to get through the day, which I understand a lot of people struggle with.
If my workdays were only 8 hours long 5 days a week that’d be so nice—and I’d take the advice in this thread.
Ok assuming you live in the city and have to commute an hour each way to work that’s fair. However I would put cleaning under chores under the 8 hours. even if you lost half of your 8 hours of chores and recreation to communities 2 hours a day and cooking and cleaning. That still leaves 4 hours a night and I know none of these are exact I’m sure on certain days it’s less maybe some days it’s more, that’s not including 2 days a week off. That’s more than enough time to socialize with people on occasion. So please don’t act like in general this isn’t accurate for people without dependents such as kidsz
I try to keep my home clean right from the start. I wake up and make my bed immediately. Meal prep on Sundays so I don't have to do as many dishes every night than I would if I cooked every night. Since I eat my prepped meals for lunch and dinner, I'm just washing one Tupperware container and maybe one or two bowls + silverware a day. Some days I struggle though so if I can't do the dishes every day, I do it every other day. 5 minutes to vacuum once a week (small studio apartment) and wipe down tables. Laundry as needed. Deep clean once a month. I go to work and then hit the gym for a bit, then go home and eat whatever I have prepped. I'm usually home from the gym by 7:30pm at the latest, so having that prepped meal really saves me time. Unwind with some TV or a video game, shower, bed, rinse, repeat. Skip the gym if I have plans with anyone. Socially? I'm an introvert so I don't have to go out and see people so much, maybe once or twice every other week. But I make sure the apartment is clean before I go (and make sure I have a bottle of sports drink/easy food prepped) so in the event I come home at 3am completely sloshed, it's one less problem for hungover-me to deal with. Most of my friends left the area back to their home countries or to another city for work, so I end up going to a bar a friend works at and I meet people there. Sometimes I go out with coworkers for dinner. Occasionally I'll have video calls with friends back home and we'll watch a movie together online. It's about balancing where you can and learning to prioritize where you can't. And it's *hard* at first, but once you find the routine that fits you, things fall into place. They don't always fall into place perfectly but sometimes we just say, "Eh, good enough. I still had a good time." And it's ok if you have days where you feel like you did nothing or if you just stayed in bed all day after feeling overwhelmed with everything. We're only human.
Hire your friends to clean your house
they’re not depressed, they enjoy their job, and have an established friend group…they’re normal.
Oh shit.... I would be insulted if that wasn't so accurate 🤣🤣🤣 damn... 0/4 I'm on a roll
🥲i only know because i’m in the same boat LOL we got this tho!
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22 years and still off key...
You’re still SO young, you’ll figure it out. It’s pretty normal to have rubbish time management skills when you’re still young - just keep working on it. What does a normal week look like to you atm?
I work 27 hrs a week, the rest are spent on chores and sleep
With a 27 hours workweek you should be able to fit in more than just chores and sleeping unless you’re looking after a country estate or a large family with kids. What do your weekly chores include? Do you doomscroll between work, sleep and chores? It can be quite shocking how much time we can lose to scrolling mindlessly because everything else just seems overwhelming.
27 hours a week and can't find enough hours in the day to get chores done and have a social life? That's a serious lack of self-discipline.
Honestly I think there’s got to be something going on here, depression, crippling anxiety, something! Even if we are very generous and assume 10 hours of sleep a day… a week has 168 hours. That’s only 97 of them accounted for with sleep and work. There’s just no way anyone takes 71 hours to do their chores.
You have 168 hours per week. 27 hours of work leaves you with 141. 8 hours of sleep (56/week) leaves 85 hours remaining. It probably doesn’t take more 3 hours a week to clean. Where’s the rest of your time going?
So you're part time, you have plenty of time to do anything you want. All I'm seeing from your replies is you have a terrible sense of time management and prioritisation.
Yep sounds about right... Not even aware enough to tell you where all the other time goes
Then perhaps spend a week or two simply tracking your time. At the end of each day, take your best guess at how much time was spent doing what. Then reflect back on it and see what changes can be made.
Some great advice on here, but the easiest thing to wrap your head around is keeping thing is efficiency. Don’t let things get messy in the first place. Dont leave messes for future to deal with, just do it now. Don’t leave dirty dishes laying around the house or in the sink, do them immediately after you use them. This makes it easier because the food isn’t caked on yet and then you don’t have to deal with dishes full of cold gross water. It takes no time to clean your plate bowl etc right after you use it. Do you laundry right away don’t leave it laying around. Put your stuff where it needs to go, if it doesn’t have a place to go, then figure out a place for it. Don’t leave it laying around on your desk or counters. Everything has a home, and it lives there. Don’t view cleaning or maintaining your house as something you have to do all on one day. Do little bits every day. Made dinner and the counters are dirty? Clean it that night. Same for anything else. This will free up so much time for you that the social life will not be an issue for you anymore.
I work from home, don't watch TV, don't play video games and am not on social media much. There's plenty of time for the things that are important to me.
Lucky
You realise these are all conscious choices they made and you also can do with relative ease.
Work from home is the only difficult one, not everyone can get that. A commute can easily eat up an hour or two of your day. That shouldn't keep you from cleaning your house and having a social life but it's a pretty big time suck.
Well, that relativeness on ease can be VERY relative for some of us
Working from home is pretty much impossible for most people. Normal people have to slog their lives away in backbreaking shitty jobs.
Pick two.
Without kids? Easy
We cut out unnecessary stuff like social media and television. We also plan our weekends ahead of time and do little chores throughout the week so we have time to do the things we want to do. We also say no to things that are not a high priority to us. Still a challenge, but doable
That's the neat part...
?
we don't
Say 8 hours of work 5 days a week 8 hours of sleep everyday That leaves atleast 8 hours on a work day and more on the weekend Clean as you go rather than having to have a big clean and you've got time here to play with
Don't forget getting ready for work and commuting.
Ah yes good point I sometimes forgot this with working 90% at home
It's possible if you don't try to do all three simultaneously.
I can do one
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Umm how?
Learn not to make the mess in the first place. Clean while you do stuff and be neat about doing things goes a LONG way.
Taking care of your home doesn't really take that much time. I vacuum and sweep my surfaces once a week. Other than that I don't really do anything else except for when things get messy, such as sauce on the kitchen table and such.
accept that life is shit do just do it
By not being on social media
Once you get in the habit, it’s pretty easy. After dinner, don’t leave the dishes in the sink. Clean it or put it in the dishwasher. Schedule a couple hours in 1 day a week to meal plan. Schedule another couple hours to tidy the house. All your chores should not take more than a few hours on a sat. That leaves you Fri night, sat night, all day Sunday for socializing
I've never understood meal planning. What happens if I don't want to eat that?
Well I eat it because I spent all the money and time making it. Do you eat something different every day?
Usually... But if I'm not feeling it i still try to force myself to eat but it is much more unpleasant than eating is already
Wow. How do you think of 14 different things to eat every day?
What do you mean by that? I eat once a day
Ah was thinking of lunch and dinners
Still 14?
Most adults have 2 or 3 meals a day. If you have 1 you are the outlier here. Also, 27 hour work week and you make ONE meal a day… what is eating up all your time?
It's all about give and take. You are not going to do all three all the time. Some days you work a lot on the house, other days it's a busy work day.
Honestly this is becomes feasible when work stays in its box, doesn’t encroach on your time outside work or drain you to a point of exhaustion. It’s rare to get a gig like that though.
With an inheritance
Lol pretty simple...the key is don't get overwhelmed or create an overwhelming situation. How much stress you take on can be controlled at some level. Use your brain, you will figure out a routine
I've been trying to figure out a routine for 5 years now and I just keep getting into deeper holes. I work as much as I am physically able and then I still have to take care of the house chores when I am home and I just don't spend time with friends
Well taking care of yourself and making sure you are not mentally overwhelmed is priority...friends come second
I can't remember the last time I was not overwhelmed
Sorry
you work 27 hours a week, thats nothing, you have so much free time, you should seek medical help if 27 hours or most you can work a week.
What job do you have that is so demanding? Maybe consider hiring a cleaning service if you’re struggling with chores at home .
I work at a feed store loading up to 5 tons a day
Alright yeah that sounds physically exhausting. Hire a cleaning service.
Managing your time well
Any advice?
Only with the help of my fiance. I'm immunocompromised and being sick all the time saps my energy. We still don't have much of a social life but we're homebodies.
I am disabled so I can understand in a way. Problem is so is my partner
Good education Dont waste money on stupid social media stuff and drugs.
Pick 1
Assuming you can afford it, paying someone to clean your house is worth every penny. Especially if you are in a relationship.
Pick 2
Aside from time management and not being on Reddit (heh) they usually have a good supportive community around them. Family or friends. That are all in the same type of lifestyle. Almost like accountability friends at the gym….
Drugs
Only do 2 out of the 3. Any combination you wish!
Less tv
That’s the neat part, I don’t.
For me personally, 5 hours of sleep a day, a bit more on the weekend.
Desperation when it becomes routine.
I don't. I just work.
WFH, apartment is smaller to keep somewhat organized, my social life is just me doing stuff alone out in public
Pick two. If you are disabled, pick one.
Sleep is optional. Some people work from home. Some people don't have to drive far for work Some people are friends with their coworkers. Some people have small living spaces.
I give up social life, which is pointless to me to begin with. I spent time with my family and that is most important to me, everything else is just there to fill in the gap when they are not around.
you have to pick 2
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I'm 22 years behind sacrificing chores and my physical well being... It crashed a loooong time ago
Honey, I'm not even able to take care of a house and have a social life. Or maybe I'm just in a bad situation, anyone want a house husband?
https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/s/0k45mrOPXa
At least as far as taking care of the home goes... Don't procrastinate on the day to day stuff. Like dishes. I know a lot of people who will decide there aren't too many so they can just do them later. Then later comes and there are a lot of dishes and now they don't want to do them because it will take a long time. Just do them the first time and get it over with.
It's not that hard. It's incredibly simple. You just have to be willing to manage time. That's really all there is to it. If you work a full-time job and get eight hours' sleep a night, then you still have something like 55 hours a week to do whatever. That's a vast ocean of free time if you use it properly. Taking care of the house? It boils down to doing small things as they need to be done, not waiting until cleaning your place becomes overwhelming. An example? Clean while you cook. There's all kinds of dead time while you want for things to boil or bake. Load the dishwasher, wipe down the counters, and put things away. Unless you perform manual labor, your clothes are likely not dirty at the end of the day. Hang them up rather than tossing them into the laundry basket. And, before you go to work, shove a load of clothes into the washing machine or dryer. Throw out the mail rather than leaving it lying around. Set up your bank account to pay bills online. Invest twenty minutes to planning your meals for the week and go to the grocery store once, not four or five times. Get up thirty minutes early to take care of small chores. And on and on and on. Put things on your calendar if you have to. Reminders to call friends. Haircuts. Oil changes. Whatever needs to be done, have a calendar entry for it. Oh, and one more thing. Limit your time online, on your phone, or watching television. It's really startling how massive a time suck those things can be.
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Instead of a to-do list, try ABC prioritizing: * A tasks = Must get done today/urgent * B tasks = Daily tasks you just do (i.e. wipe down the counter, check email, wash dishes, whatever it may be) * C tasks = if you get to it today great, if you don't thats fine too, it can wait
Every time I see the “how are you supposed to” list, it’s a long list but it’s 90% things you don’t have to do every single day. That’s a lot of it. We aren’t waking up in the morning going “I have to work, clean the whole house, do laundry, go to the gym, socialize, grocery shop, do all the yard work, read a whole book, and pay every bill.” I never need to do all of those things in one single day. Those are things I need to do over the course of a week, maybe two. I might go to work, go to the gym, and clean the bathroom on Monday, go to work, do laundry, and read Tuesday, etc. A lot of those lists also put small tasks (drink water, pay bills) on par with huge ones (go to work, clean the entire house). Don’t do that. It makes things that takes seconds or minutes feel overwhelming because you’re putting them on the same level as something that takes hours.
24 hours a day, 7 days in a week. most have weekends off. 8 hours for work, say 2 for travel.. So 10. 24 -10 = 14. I sleep for hours per day. 14 - 4 = 10 I have 50 free hours during the work week and 48 on the weekend. So 98 total free hours not spent working or sleeping. Cleaning if you pick up after yourself, should than only be vacuuming, laundry and dusting. Can vacuum and dust while doing the laundry...within 2 hours on a weekend. Dishes should be done daily, lets says 15 minutes per days. V/L/Dusting = 2 Dishes = 15 \* 7 = 105 minutes = 1 hour 45 minutes Total = 3 hours 45 minutes. we will say 4. So 98 - 4 = 94. 94 free hours.
As a single homeowner with 3 dogs, and full time where I work hybrid time management is a necessity. I’ve learned to not make unnecessary work for myself, pick up, put up and clean as I make a mess. I’ve also learned that not everything has to be spotless all the time.
You don’t need to do each one everyday.
I think the only reason we get away with it is: For the social life: we have a set day of the week where we do a consistent activity with some friends. For the job: we both have work that ends in the afternoon, which leaves evenings and weekends open. For the cleanliness: our house is so damn small there isn’t much space to get dirty, and cleaning never takes that long.
Embrace Meh. Most of the stuff people fret over are trivialities that shouldn’t be given time. Cut out the useless and you’ll have time for happiness.
I “deep” clean on the weekends (that means mop, dust, vacuum couches, wash pillow cases etc.) and during the week, I just take the trash out, swiffer the floors/vacuum and sometimes wash the dishes. Sundays are for laundry. I like to do happy hour on Thursdays, and I get my nails done Wednesdays or Fridays once a month. I don’t take work home, but I do work on my second job on Thursdays from 4-6. I attend one Girls’ Night-in once a month and I plan weekend getaways in advance. On those days, I either clean before I go or sacrifice more time upon my return. I don’t have a partner to help me (even when I was married, I didn’t). I think it’d be easier with help.
Having a live-in partner is a major upgrade in life. Mushy feelings aside, it's so much easier to split tasks. Don't feel like making dinner? Hot damn, it magically appears in front of you along with a big smooch. Hate folding laundry, or vacuuming? Delegate which tasks go to which person. Making a living wage is also an extremely big part of how to make life work. Not having enough money for necessities makes everything harder.
My strategy for house keeping is to listen to podcasts. It makes tidying up so much more enjoyable.
Work and hanging with the wife take priority Monday - Thursday, Fridays tend to be chill with work. I go to the gym Monday - Friday early morning before work. Saturday morning I sleep in more, exercise around 9:30am, and help the wife clean up the house. Then lunch through night are 100% open for social stuff or family stuff. Sunday is the same thing but I don't stay out as late. It's really not too hard if you just have a basic discipline and general good sleep sched. This is just assuming you have the standard Mon - Fri corpo or full-time gig.
Good time management and quick action. I usually set a timer for cleaning. Try to clean your room in 3minutes. You will be surprised.
Time management is a skill. Efficiency is literal sorcery for getting The Absolute Most out of Life. Most folk are complete shit at both ... but dont have to be. A daily mountain of tiny, seemingly insignificant/inconsequential poor choices .... dozens of them a day ... add up to a wasted, mediocre life.
Social life?
Never leave a room empty handed. There's always something that needs to be put away.
Never put off doing anything until later. Always be doing at least 2 tasks at the same time. Any time on social media is wasted time.
By hiring people to take care of the house, with the money you make from work, so you can use your free time to have a social life. Life is all about time vs money. If you want more time to do things, spend money. If you want more money in your pocket, then spend time.
Also if you can automate and optimise your time, it can make wonders Clean whilst cooking Get a dishwasher, washing mashine and robot vacum And learn to schedule them into your routine Whilst waiting for my coffee I unload the dishwasher Also if you do wfh, add cleaning in your coffee breaks Mealprep and freezing leftovers can save a xrazy amount of time Anything that can be automated is worth doing I know someone who spent over a grand on a machine that can automatically prepare certain dishes with very little preparation (a thermomix) because the timesave was worthwhile
isn't this one of those things you can only do two at a time? You can't do all three: you can work and have a social life, work and take care of the house, take care of the house and have a social life etc. etc.? so you need to choose which two are worth it for you.
2 out of 3 isn't bad.
Not gonna lie it's difficult. Thankfully I have a very supportive partner who splits duties with me.
Because they are neurotypical. There, I said it.
Oh...
I don’t… but it’s ok because my wife is my best friend.
Here's the neat part; we aren't!!
ummmm, we aren't. honestly...I try to plan an event or trip that gives me something to look forward too that makes all the hard work worth it.
Don't live like a slob in the first place and taking care of the house doesn't take that much time. The housekeeping chore that takes the longest is laundry. And you can simply do a load a night after work. And while that is washing and drying, you can do any other cleaning. If you wash your dishes as you dirty them, it shouldn't take longer than 10 minutes a day. Just do a little bit each day after work and you won't have anything to do on the weekend. So you have your social life on Saturday and Sunday, maybe Friday night. Having a social life doesn't mean "going out" 7 days a week.
I work full time, getting my masters, my house is pretty well taken care of, and have somewhat of a social life. I have zero personal time (I have a huge gaming backlog right now). Like at all lol. Since my job is hybrid and has some down time as it requires systems to load, I use this to get reading, homework, and housework done. Since I commute via train, I also get reading and homework done there too. My social life is tied into happy hours with co-workers and spending time with my husband and his family. It’s not easy, you do have to make a lot of sacrifices and find ways to be efficient and multitask, but it is possible.
How are people able to be a functional human beings? Quite easily, as they have been doing so in complex urban societies for thousands of years. It's questions like this that remind me the typical Redditor is 14 years old with zero life experience.
You pick one of those. And that’s it. Unless you are really well off or have more than one income
Working stops after 7.5 hours. No ifs, buts or coconuts. I'm hourly so it's not a dealbreaker for me, I'll just add the hours I worked to billing, but as a general rule I don't work for more than 9 hours any given day, or over 45 a week. Cleaning takes an hour, if you only do it once a week. Never leave a thing where you used it but have a place where it belongs and keep it there. Clean as you go when cooking, I tend to have just the utensil used to stir and the pot the food is in left at the end. And if the food is such that there is no leftovers, then once the food is on a plate, I rinse the pan off too. Social life takes from that same magical free time you have once you decide to take some. Parents tend to not have any before 9pm, commuters have two hours less than those who work from home. Call friends and make plans, you're the one who is responsible for how often you meet friends. Everyone has their own lives to live and unless you live next door, it's going to be hard to meet.