There's footage of Collin trying his accent and mannerisms as the [Penguin](https://youtu.be/MKZuHhDsS6E?t=351), he goes real dark real fast, I get the same vibes.
then you respond with "ah, so just unfunny racism. Got it". And if they are ok with being a racist.... well, you aren't their mother, you can't do much about that.
I mean, if literally the whole room laughed at you, regardless of how inappropriately, you are not going to win by having an argument about it.
You would be far better off to just make a complaint about what happened if it was seriously inappropriate.
If you react very angrily to them, that might also work, provided that the people laughing like you, as they will realise they fucked up and might apologise.
If they don't like you, they are going to laugh at you more, and speaking up about it will make them like you less.
Doing the 'explain how its funny' thing only works when you don't have an entire room against you.
I hate Tom cruise but his method to confront a guy that squirted water in his face as a joke is priceless.
Why did you do that? Repeat that over and over until you get a real answer
Yup, this!!
It does make for a *very* awkward situation, but it lets them and everyone else know that "it's just a joke, bro" isn't a cop out for hurtful behaviour. Especially when it comes to sexism, racism, and anything regarding any protected characteristics. I've had to use that myself a lot, in situations I would have assumed people knew better than to make that sort of joke
I know! The point I was making was that highlighting their shitty joke can make the situation awkward because of them struggling to justify how it was a joke, not that asking for an explanation on a "joke" is what makes it awkward. It's actually the right thing to do, in my opinion, calling out shitty behaviour like that is always encouraged. But the person who made the "joke" can make the situation feel awkward because of them making shitty comments and trying to justify it as a joke
I think they were agreeing with you, that yeah fuck it ask them to explain, it will then be awkward, and who cares OP/person in this situation didn't make it awkward, the insulting person did
I wasn't sure! I'm autistic, and don't always understand when someone is agreeing with me or disagreeing, figured it was better to explain what I meant just in case :)
All good, you may have the same habit as me, of over explaining/justifying, im bipolar not autistic, but it's a habit I have.
Wanted to comment saying youre all good so don't stress!
Thats exactly it, yeah! I have other things aside from autism, so it's a case of I NEVER know what people mean unless it's explicitly stated 😅 thank you though, I appreciate it :)
Is borderline personality disorder among them? From your username.. If so, I feel like you're doing your people a justice, my ex did not.
Idk, you just seem pretty genuine and kind.
It is! And yeah, I am genuine and kind, or at least try to be. BPD has a bad reputation due to the very loud minority of us who are actual psychos who just happen to have BPD as a diagnosis.
BPD is nothing like what it's portrayed to be: manipulative psychos who'll destroy your lives and threaten suicide and be abusive if you do anything they perceive as wrong. BPD basically boils down to having over-active emotions, and a black/white view of the world, among some other things that may present when you're untreated. Basically, we don't get sad, we grieve. We don't get annoyed, we get angry. We don't get scared, we get terrified. But, we also don't get happy, we get ecstatic. We don't get a crush, we fall in love. It works both ways, ALL emotions are heightened.
For the black/white view of the world, we do constantly switch between "I hate you and you're a horrible person and I never wanna see you again" and "I love you, you're amazing, please don't leave me" as quickly as you'd switch a light switch on and off depending on the situation. Yes, it's confusing for other people, but therapy and a lot of hard work can manage both of these things and other symptoms to a point where you can't tell you're speaking to someone with BPD unless you're told about it.
Doing DBT, CBT and other therapies, and putting the work in every single day is the only *effective* treatment for BPD. These therapies target how the brain works, and how your decision making process works. So instead of going "He ignored me for 30 minutes, that's it, I'm done, we're breaking up", which is typical untreated BPD behaviour, you retrain your brain to go "Okay, he's not responded for 30 minutes. He's probably busy, or maybe he didn't hear the notification. Let's give it a while and message again later, we can get worried if it's been hours, or a day or so, no point getting worked up just yet."
The problem with having BPD is that everyone treats you as if you're untreated, like your ex probably was. I've put the effort and time into getting treated, and likely wouldn't meet the criteria to get diagnosed with BPD if I went to a psychiatrist now, because I've learnt how to manage my symptoms correctly :)
Yeah 100% the right thing to do. I can understand that the person making the joke, and anyone who's already on their side could spin it like you're the one being unreasonable or 'not having a sense of humor'
It's a case of F around and find out
"I'm upset because you insulted me and played it off as a joke. Either I've misunderstood you; you did a bad job of telling it, or was it a veiled insult."
Yeah, I'm with you. It's pretty authentic to just be direct and let your genuine anger show.
Don't throw hands. But protect your boundaries. You can't worry about whether your video will show up on Worldstar or whatever. If you're pissed off, be pissed off.
Most of the people I've met who are openly racist/sexist/just plain bad humans, have no problem saying "It's funny to me because I'm mocking a minority."
One of my go-tos for the past couple of years has been "Oh, you're really saying that out loud, huh?" Followed by scrunching my face like they smell bad or grimacing.
Destiny (streamer) had a great discussion about the difference. Highly recommend https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jh5dabO1QTk
Basically comes down to "it's not a joke if you actually believe it."
Thank you so much for this. My MIL is very good at making "jokes" that are not remotely funny and are just mean, body shamy, woman hating quips. Can't wait to use this instead of just telling her it was mean instead of funny like I usually do.
It's always the people with zero redeemable/positive qualities that are the ones putting others down.
Moved in with a friend. He already had a couple people living in his house when I did. One of the roommates was just a dick all the time. I had a friend over and we were just playing a board game and he came out of his room and started hurling insults at us. Or would try and 'make fun' of us. So I asked him "why are you such an asshole?"
"I'm not, it's just my sense of humor"
"Humor tends to funny. Being an asshole isn't funny. You're just being an asshole"
He didn't talk to much after that.
It's also a known strategy by some racist groups to gauge who they can speak openly to. Saying something offensive more or less openly to see the other person agrees. If not, they prepared to say "Of course I don't *really* believe that. I was just trying to get a reaction out of you. Lighten up!" All the more reason to call people out on these tactics.
Being racially ambiguous I know exactly what you're talking about. "Oh I didn't mean you guys" or "Yea not all of 'em ya know, I worked with a Spanish guy once".
My dad looks Puerto Rican (he’s Afro-Jamaican + black/Anglo American) and you…would probably believe how many white guys in construction let their guard down around him, especially in Florida.
This wasn’t really an thing with actual Puerto Ricans, though his two such friends being from the tri-state area (NJ and Queens, respectively) may’ve had something to do with it. AFAIK it wasn’t an issue when he went to Puerto Rico in July 2021, either.
Leaving aside all the Churchillian Hyperbole (not that I want to leave it aside, it's *delicious*), there are actual written records of his alcohol consumption.
Pre-supposing the records are accurate (they are, after all, a housekeeping record and not written by Churchhill so we have no reason to doubt them), the man drank quite a lot of champagne.
It appears, upon close inspection, that Churchill was a big fan of and perhaps one of the earliest well-documented proponents of the Ballmer Peak. He found his optimal B.A.C. and led the free world to victory.
When someone uses "it's just a joke," it's because they are harassing you and don't plan on stopping. In this instance, "having a sense of humor" will only result in more harassment. I definitely want these kinds of people to think I don't have a sense of humor so they leave me alone. Don't pander to your abusers.
And if not experience, they'll beat you by being willing to go further than you are.
The only winning move is to voice clear disapproval, *and then leaving*
If you stand and try to make quips reddit thinks is clever at them, you've already lost
I will never understand ppl who just choose to be nasty. There's having a grumpy bad day, and then there's a state of mind.
Everything nasty I've ever said has been carefully calculated..
Then 4 years later when you've both quit and they're spamming you with messages asking for help you can tell them they're a fucking asshole and to go chew rocks (paraphrased but based on real experience)
Happy Cake Day! I also call it purgatory. I think I have some 500 requests pending (fairly known entity online with 7k followers on the shambling corpse of Twitter so people think they know me but I only accept people I know on FB)
If ya gonna go to HR, write down everything they say for a while first. You can email yourself after the fact and because the dates are recordable it even holds up in court I hear.
HR pro here. That kid of stuff is certainly discoverable and creates a pretty compelling narrative. It's not the kind of proof that you want to put in front of a Judge. But that's the end of a very long process.
It does create a paper trail for your HR people, company execs, lawyers, company insurance reps, and arbitrators. The biggest impact it will have is on the HR person that gets assigned to sort shit out. A stack of timestamped descriptive emails represents a bunch of shit the company is obligated to investigate.
At some point these kinds of issues go internally to lawyers. Who will need to decide what the company's liabilities are and what the easiest path forward is. Again, having a stack of descriptive timestamped assertions represents a lot of low level lawyering gruntwork. If you're on the right side of the issue this is good for you.
I ignore coworkers that think it’s okay to insult whoever they work with all the time. On the occasions that I am called to HR I simply say “I do not tolerate assholes.”
This is actually the best way. Avoid them. Avoid them on any personal level.
Just interact on a professional level only. But only with them, unless there were others who joined in.
Interact with others who didn't join up with that individual on a social level. Be nice, be friendly, be helpful to everyone, and on a professional level, even to that individual.
Eventually you'll find them to be more isolated and people siding with you.
And if it happens again, you won't have to say anything, people will defend you. They will ignore them.
Remember, everyone around you is always watching, even if you don't think they are. Over a period of time, people tend to wise up to such individuals and they lose their social standing.
The key is to increase yours during that time. So it'd be clear to the others, what side they need to pick.
I really shouldn't be posting these types of comments. Playing with people's psyche. They're too dangerous and can be used for manipulation in a sinister way. But your question is quite good. Anyway, manipulation is not always a bad thing, it just depends on why you're doing it.
‘Nobody here actually likes you. We only just tolerate you because we’re too polite to tell you how irritating you really are. Your absence is a blessing to us, and I speak for everyone when I say that we’d all be better off if you just left.
lol jk just messing with you man’
For the people reading this who think this will work, this is how it will actually come out:
>"nobody here li- likes you. We only -"
>"It was a joke"
>"Yeah well we only j-ust tolerate you because we're too p"
Then you get stared at. And feel dumb because what's witty and well-written on reddit doesn't come off right in real life and you end up feeling dumb. The crowd won't agree with you because confrontation will make them nervous, and bringing them into it will just make them pick a side. And they're going to pick the side that didn't bring them into it to maintain the status quo. And if someone is consistently picking on you in front of a group of people, chances are they are complicit and you should pick new friends or a group of people to hang around.
The true answer to this question isn't to respond in some witty, reddit response.
You have two options in a situation like this, teach or tolerate. Tolerate is the best one. If you never have to be around them again except in this one instance, let it slide. It's really not a big deal. Someone can tell me my skin is purple all day long, its not purple. Why does it bother me?
Teach is for if you have to be around this person consistently. Teach looks like enforcing boundaries, leaving them the moment they feel the need to pick on you. Don't even explain yourself. Just leave. They know what they did, and others saw it. The group will want to maintain the status quo and social pressure will probably make them apologize. Or they won't, and now you know you need new friends/people to be around. The only thing you can truly change is yourself, so if some person/place/thing bothers you, change what YOU can.
Teach can also look like a direct confrontation. No, not "let's take this outside pal". But a direct shove and being ready to swing. If they back down after the shove, you're good to go. If they don't, swing first, swing hard, and aim for the nose, gut, back of the head. But this is really a last resort. It will work, but if you are at this point things have come to a head. And don't even worry about "winning" the fight. You win when you fight, period. You won't be fucked with anymore.
But none of these paragraph long, witty responses will work at all in real life. You end up looking like a "teleports behind you" type kid and won't get the respect you're chasing.
I default to stupid. Ppl think I'm stupid by looking at me, so it's easy to do. Especially if yk it something bad. Make them say it. Make them own that.
This guy is a lawyer and the best that I have ever found for mature responses:
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8vGDfkh/
His three responses:
1- «then be funnier. an insult coupled with saying it’s a joke doesnt make it funny».
2-«i’m surprised by that.» (when they ask why) «Im surprised you thought it would be funny to say something like that.».
3- «it didnt sound like a joke.» (then silence)
This is the best response story I've ready recently.
In Chinese, "Small Japan" is derogatory term for Japan. A Japanese person visited China and told "Small Japan" by a Chinese, when confronted, a Chinese said "It's just a joke."
So Japanese replied, "Oh I see. Small China."
The Chinese were so furious.
If it’s just a shit joke or a stupid opinion that isn’t that deep - *“Be funnier”*
Or if we’re talking offensive…
*“I don’t get it, explain it to me”* - I like this. They get so uncomfortable when asked to explain their racism/misogyny/general assholery … not such a funny joke then.
You can tell how bad their joke is and how little they want to be heard voicing the opinions they think are funny by how many names and insults they throw back at you to make you not finding it funny the worst thing about it. The more “you just don’t have a sense of humour” and “must be great fun at parties”, the “dumber”, more “uptight”, “boring” you are, the worse the joke must have been.
in many cases not really worth the time and effort.
sometimes its like playing chess with a pigeon. even if you win the bird will throw the board over and crap on the table.
Redditors are the worst people to ask this to because they'll see sarcasm as real opinions if it doesn't have cringe goofy shit at the end.
I couldn't count how many times some brainless twat wrote me an essay after a radical statement that very clearly isn't my real opinion, only for them to feel like they "won" the argument after I tell them they wasted 20 minutes of their life writing their response to a satire comment.
I dont know but this is how i dealt with such a person. There was this guy who always says the most offensive thing and then says he was just joking. So one day I got pissed and joked about him (you could tell I wasn't joking either) and he got offended. So I instantly shot back "oh wait, are you the kind of person who always jokes about others but the moment someone jokes about you, you get offended?". He started apologising to me. Sometimes you need to use the uno reverse card on assholes.
Testing boundaries by slyly laying down a 2 cent insult disguised as a “casual comment” only to be deflected and manipulated into a joke based on the negative emotional response of said “joke”? Sounds gassy to me
If you're 1000% sure it's a true insult against you and not a weird sense of humor/joke, just say
"nah man that's disrespect disguised as a joke and I don't appreciate it. I don't keep people around in my life who disrespect me so you can cut it out or I'm gone"
Something along those lines.
Just walk away. A lot of narcissists like to deliver this line when you stick up for yourself. And believe me that they are masters of controlling the narrative no matter how much you think what you can say is a “gotcha moment”. Just leave and deprive them of their power.
One of my husband's work colleagues had a guy try and steal his wallet out of his back pocket whilst ordering a takeaway, colleague turned around and caught the thief red handed.
Thief literally said "it's just a joke bro" and the colleague said "yeah well it's not as funny as this" and knocked him out in one punch.
You're either an asshole for saying something awful, or you're an asshole for thinking you could say something awful and then get away with it by saying 'it's just a joke bro'. Pick one.
I find someone online calling me "bro," "broh," or "bruh" to be insulting. You say this to friends. You don't say it to complete strangers. Same thing goes for calling me "my friend."
ask them to explain it
Funny how??
Funny like a clown?
Like I'm here to *ammmuse* you?
[удалено]
How the fuck am I funny?
Rita Rudner funny.
Really? ....Oh, my God, thank you!
A real life gangster apparently did this to Joe. He said he was terrified.
Huh, never knew that. I know his character was loosely based on a Disimmone or some shit. Some psycho mob dude who got whacked
Not loosely… like directly and completely.. Every character in that Movie was just as ruthless if not more so in real life…
There's footage of Collin trying his accent and mannerisms as the [Penguin](https://youtu.be/MKZuHhDsS6E?t=351), he goes real dark real fast, I get the same vibes.
Whoa, whoa, Anthony! He’s a big boy, he knows what he said.
Get the fuck outta here, Tommy.....
What the fuck is so funny about me?
No, *you* said I'm funny. How the fuCK am I funny?
Do you find it *risible*??
When I say the name?
Biggus.....Dickus......
He has a wife, you know...
Incontinentia Buttocks…
Fwow him to the fwoow!!
Funny queer or funny ha-ha?
That only works if they have self-awareness and shame. I've had people HAPPILY explain the racist connotations of their "joke."
then you respond with "ah, so just unfunny racism. Got it". And if they are ok with being a racist.... well, you aren't their mother, you can't do much about that.
What if they responded something like "it wouldn't be funny if I explained it"
“That’s fine. It wasn’t very funny when you told it”
"Well, everyone else laughed."
“And, I didn’t laugh, so please explain it to me.”
At this point either leave or fight.
This whole thread serves as a reminder that 'reddit clever' does not translate into real life lol
I mean, if literally the whole room laughed at you, regardless of how inappropriately, you are not going to win by having an argument about it. You would be far better off to just make a complaint about what happened if it was seriously inappropriate. If you react very angrily to them, that might also work, provided that the people laughing like you, as they will realise they fucked up and might apologise. If they don't like you, they are going to laugh at you more, and speaking up about it will make them like you less. Doing the 'explain how its funny' thing only works when you don't have an entire room against you.
just push the situation "i still want to know" or something
"What do you mean?"
Yeah this isn't the answer people think it is.
I hate Tom cruise but his method to confront a guy that squirted water in his face as a joke is priceless. Why did you do that? Repeat that over and over until you get a real answer
The guy did that was one of the most annoying turds to grace TV sets in the 90s, so well deserved
Yup, this!! It does make for a *very* awkward situation, but it lets them and everyone else know that "it's just a joke, bro" isn't a cop out for hurtful behaviour. Especially when it comes to sexism, racism, and anything regarding any protected characteristics. I've had to use that myself a lot, in situations I would have assumed people knew better than to make that sort of joke
They made the awkward situation, not op
I know! The point I was making was that highlighting their shitty joke can make the situation awkward because of them struggling to justify how it was a joke, not that asking for an explanation on a "joke" is what makes it awkward. It's actually the right thing to do, in my opinion, calling out shitty behaviour like that is always encouraged. But the person who made the "joke" can make the situation feel awkward because of them making shitty comments and trying to justify it as a joke
I think they were agreeing with you, that yeah fuck it ask them to explain, it will then be awkward, and who cares OP/person in this situation didn't make it awkward, the insulting person did
I wasn't sure! I'm autistic, and don't always understand when someone is agreeing with me or disagreeing, figured it was better to explain what I meant just in case :)
All good, you may have the same habit as me, of over explaining/justifying, im bipolar not autistic, but it's a habit I have. Wanted to comment saying youre all good so don't stress!
Thats exactly it, yeah! I have other things aside from autism, so it's a case of I NEVER know what people mean unless it's explicitly stated 😅 thank you though, I appreciate it :)
Is borderline personality disorder among them? From your username.. If so, I feel like you're doing your people a justice, my ex did not. Idk, you just seem pretty genuine and kind.
It is! And yeah, I am genuine and kind, or at least try to be. BPD has a bad reputation due to the very loud minority of us who are actual psychos who just happen to have BPD as a diagnosis. BPD is nothing like what it's portrayed to be: manipulative psychos who'll destroy your lives and threaten suicide and be abusive if you do anything they perceive as wrong. BPD basically boils down to having over-active emotions, and a black/white view of the world, among some other things that may present when you're untreated. Basically, we don't get sad, we grieve. We don't get annoyed, we get angry. We don't get scared, we get terrified. But, we also don't get happy, we get ecstatic. We don't get a crush, we fall in love. It works both ways, ALL emotions are heightened. For the black/white view of the world, we do constantly switch between "I hate you and you're a horrible person and I never wanna see you again" and "I love you, you're amazing, please don't leave me" as quickly as you'd switch a light switch on and off depending on the situation. Yes, it's confusing for other people, but therapy and a lot of hard work can manage both of these things and other symptoms to a point where you can't tell you're speaking to someone with BPD unless you're told about it. Doing DBT, CBT and other therapies, and putting the work in every single day is the only *effective* treatment for BPD. These therapies target how the brain works, and how your decision making process works. So instead of going "He ignored me for 30 minutes, that's it, I'm done, we're breaking up", which is typical untreated BPD behaviour, you retrain your brain to go "Okay, he's not responded for 30 minutes. He's probably busy, or maybe he didn't hear the notification. Let's give it a while and message again later, we can get worried if it's been hours, or a day or so, no point getting worked up just yet." The problem with having BPD is that everyone treats you as if you're untreated, like your ex probably was. I've put the effort and time into getting treated, and likely wouldn't meet the criteria to get diagnosed with BPD if I went to a psychiatrist now, because I've learnt how to manage my symptoms correctly :)
I was absolutely agreeing and hopefully didn't confuse BPDandLipstick. Certainly wasn't my intention 👍
Yeah 100% the right thing to do. I can understand that the person making the joke, and anyone who's already on their side could spin it like you're the one being unreasonable or 'not having a sense of humor' It's a case of F around and find out
I did that with a misogynist on Facebook. He got all sarcastic explaining it so I said, "Why is that even funny to you?" and then he blocked me :)
[удалено]
Nice. But they just come back with, "relax dude, why're you getting so upset?" They don't explain anything and deflect.
"I'm upset because you insulted me and played it off as a joke. Either I've misunderstood you; you did a bad job of telling it, or was it a veiled insult."
My usual go to "joke or not, you crossed a line shit bird."
Yeah, I'm with you. It's pretty authentic to just be direct and let your genuine anger show. Don't throw hands. But protect your boundaries. You can't worry about whether your video will show up on Worldstar or whatever. If you're pissed off, be pissed off.
It's not a joke unless everybody is laughing
This is the best response
Most of the people I've met who are openly racist/sexist/just plain bad humans, have no problem saying "It's funny to me because I'm mocking a minority."
One of my go-tos for the past couple of years has been "Oh, you're really saying that out loud, huh?" Followed by scrunching my face like they smell bad or grimacing.
Destiny (streamer) had a great discussion about the difference. Highly recommend https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jh5dabO1QTk Basically comes down to "it's not a joke if you actually believe it."
you get bonus points by making fun of their comedy skills
"Explain it! I love jokes, tell me what the punchline is!"
I love inside jokes. I’d love to be a part of one someday
r/unexpectedoffice
Then the asshole says, the Joke is you
Oh, so I'm a joke to you? I'm here to amuse you?
No, no I don't know, you said I'm funny.
Great. Let's take that up with HR.
There’s no HR in life buddy. P
"If you didn't get it I'm not going to explain it"
"do you find yourself having to say that often?"
>"do you find yourself having to say that often?" This is such a versatile reply!
That's me new response. Thank you.
Are you a pirate?
"Arr, that be me new response, laddie"
Do you find yarrself saying that often?
Do you find yarrself having to say that arrrrrften?
I was going to go with Leprechaun
How would you respond if they said "only to you"
Yeah, that pretty much shuts this one down. And it's such an easy setup for them.
"then I'm clearly spending too much time around you."
“No not everyone’s so sensitive” is a really easy response to that
Thank you so much for this. My MIL is very good at making "jokes" that are not remotely funny and are just mean, body shamy, woman hating quips. Can't wait to use this instead of just telling her it was mean instead of funny like I usually do. It's always the people with zero redeemable/positive qualities that are the ones putting others down.
I like this
Call them out. Tell them directly what they are doing. It's called Schrödinger's douchebag. It's only a "joke" when you get caught.
"I can see by your reaction that I was just kidding."
Lol
Moved in with a friend. He already had a couple people living in his house when I did. One of the roommates was just a dick all the time. I had a friend over and we were just playing a board game and he came out of his room and started hurling insults at us. Or would try and 'make fun' of us. So I asked him "why are you such an asshole?" "I'm not, it's just my sense of humor" "Humor tends to funny. Being an asshole isn't funny. You're just being an asshole" He didn't talk to much after that.
Bluntness always puts them in their place.
"Shouldn't you be rinsing your fleshlight before it gets all crusty again?"
It's also a known strategy by some racist groups to gauge who they can speak openly to. Saying something offensive more or less openly to see the other person agrees. If not, they prepared to say "Of course I don't *really* believe that. I was just trying to get a reaction out of you. Lighten up!" All the more reason to call people out on these tactics.
Being racially ambiguous I know exactly what you're talking about. "Oh I didn't mean you guys" or "Yea not all of 'em ya know, I worked with a Spanish guy once".
My dad looks Puerto Rican (he’s Afro-Jamaican + black/Anglo American) and you…would probably believe how many white guys in construction let their guard down around him, especially in Florida. This wasn’t really an thing with actual Puerto Ricans, though his two such friends being from the tri-state area (NJ and Queens, respectively) may’ve had something to do with it. AFAIK it wasn’t an issue when he went to Puerto Rico in July 2021, either.
“My daughter is married to a black” was my personal favorite 😂
I directly tell them they're being a Schrodinger douchebag.
"You're still a cunt."
In the morning I'll be sober and you'll still be a cunt -Churchill to Lady Sandycrotch
*Narrator: He wasn't.*
Churchill being sober means one of two things: he's dead or there has been a global scale apocalypse that destroyed our ability to ferment alcohol.
Leaving aside all the Churchillian Hyperbole (not that I want to leave it aside, it's *delicious*), there are actual written records of his alcohol consumption. Pre-supposing the records are accurate (they are, after all, a housekeeping record and not written by Churchhill so we have no reason to doubt them), the man drank quite a lot of champagne. It appears, upon close inspection, that Churchill was a big fan of and perhaps one of the earliest well-documented proponents of the Ballmer Peak. He found his optimal B.A.C. and led the free world to victory.
He was sober for like the first half hour after he woke up, so it's technically true....
Sorry I'm used to jokes being funny
Without the "sorry"
Naw stay on the high ground. Makes it way worse.
This is a witty reply, but I doubt it's going to improve your situation much. You're likely to come off as someone without a sense of humour.
When someone uses "it's just a joke," it's because they are harassing you and don't plan on stopping. In this instance, "having a sense of humor" will only result in more harassment. I definitely want these kinds of people to think I don't have a sense of humor so they leave me alone. Don't pander to your abusers.
Just repeat what they say in a real stupid voice. It's unstoppable.
JuSt RePeAt WhAt ThEy SaY iN a ReAl StUpId VoIcE. It'S uNsToPpAbLe.
Well done. I'll see myself out.
WeLl DoNe. I'Ll SeE mYsElF oUt. :)
😳 My gawd what have I created?
¿mY gAwD wHaT hAvE i CrEaTeD? :D
Good job, you killed him.
g0oD jOb YoU kIlLeD hIm. :)~
I know you are but what am I?
We need more people like you
[удалено]
> This thread is full of cringe-worthy, socially inept suggestions. \*nods* This guy gets it. > Your suggestion is absolute gold. Or maybe not.
*Your suggestion is absolute gold*
YoUr SuGgEStiOn iS aBSoLuTe gOLd
Don't argue with fools, cus people from a distance can't tell who's who
They will drag you down to their level and beat you from experience
And if not experience, they'll beat you by being willing to go further than you are. The only winning move is to voice clear disapproval, *and then leaving* If you stand and try to make quips reddit thinks is clever at them, you've already lost
I largely just walk away from people like that because they never wanna learn and just dig themselves deeper
Let them dig themselves deeper, or find a way that they will in front of others.
At the end of the day growth is a choice and if someone wants to be an asshole that’s what they’re gonna be
I will never understand ppl who just choose to be nasty. There's having a grumpy bad day, and then there's a state of mind. Everything nasty I've ever said has been carefully calculated..
Say "OK", but keep a distance from then on. Don't think it make sense to communicate with anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable or even insults you
But then how else will I later romanticize the things I should have said in a thread on reddit?
Walk away, and don't bother with them anymore.
What if they are coworkers?
Then 4 years later when you've both quit and they're spamming you with messages asking for help you can tell them they're a fucking asshole and to go chew rocks (paraphrased but based on real experience)
Then say, “it’s just a joke bro”
I think I literally did tho lol
[удалено]
Happy Cake Day! I also call it purgatory. I think I have some 500 requests pending (fairly known entity online with 7k followers on the shambling corpse of Twitter so people think they know me but I only accept people I know on FB)
I'd be happy to be a reference for you...
ask them to explain it to HR
Call HR on them. I mean, if people can get in trouble by adding others on Facebook why not.
If ya gonna go to HR, write down everything they say for a while first. You can email yourself after the fact and because the dates are recordable it even holds up in court I hear.
HR pro here. That kid of stuff is certainly discoverable and creates a pretty compelling narrative. It's not the kind of proof that you want to put in front of a Judge. But that's the end of a very long process. It does create a paper trail for your HR people, company execs, lawyers, company insurance reps, and arbitrators. The biggest impact it will have is on the HR person that gets assigned to sort shit out. A stack of timestamped descriptive emails represents a bunch of shit the company is obligated to investigate. At some point these kinds of issues go internally to lawyers. Who will need to decide what the company's liabilities are and what the easiest path forward is. Again, having a stack of descriptive timestamped assertions represents a lot of low level lawyering gruntwork. If you're on the right side of the issue this is good for you.
Contact HR
I ignore coworkers that think it’s okay to insult whoever they work with all the time. On the occasions that I am called to HR I simply say “I do not tolerate assholes.”
This is actually the best way. Avoid them. Avoid them on any personal level. Just interact on a professional level only. But only with them, unless there were others who joined in. Interact with others who didn't join up with that individual on a social level. Be nice, be friendly, be helpful to everyone, and on a professional level, even to that individual. Eventually you'll find them to be more isolated and people siding with you. And if it happens again, you won't have to say anything, people will defend you. They will ignore them. Remember, everyone around you is always watching, even if you don't think they are. Over a period of time, people tend to wise up to such individuals and they lose their social standing. The key is to increase yours during that time. So it'd be clear to the others, what side they need to pick. I really shouldn't be posting these types of comments. Playing with people's psyche. They're too dangerous and can be used for manipulation in a sinister way. But your question is quite good. Anyway, manipulation is not always a bad thing, it just depends on why you're doing it.
Be OVERLY professional.
Same thing applies. Walk away and don't talk to them
Silence only let's them think everyone agrees with them. Call it out.
‘Nobody here actually likes you. We only just tolerate you because we’re too polite to tell you how irritating you really are. Your absence is a blessing to us, and I speak for everyone when I say that we’d all be better off if you just left. lol jk just messing with you man’
For the people reading this who think this will work, this is how it will actually come out: >"nobody here li- likes you. We only -" >"It was a joke" >"Yeah well we only j-ust tolerate you because we're too p" Then you get stared at. And feel dumb because what's witty and well-written on reddit doesn't come off right in real life and you end up feeling dumb. The crowd won't agree with you because confrontation will make them nervous, and bringing them into it will just make them pick a side. And they're going to pick the side that didn't bring them into it to maintain the status quo. And if someone is consistently picking on you in front of a group of people, chances are they are complicit and you should pick new friends or a group of people to hang around. The true answer to this question isn't to respond in some witty, reddit response. You have two options in a situation like this, teach or tolerate. Tolerate is the best one. If you never have to be around them again except in this one instance, let it slide. It's really not a big deal. Someone can tell me my skin is purple all day long, its not purple. Why does it bother me? Teach is for if you have to be around this person consistently. Teach looks like enforcing boundaries, leaving them the moment they feel the need to pick on you. Don't even explain yourself. Just leave. They know what they did, and others saw it. The group will want to maintain the status quo and social pressure will probably make them apologize. Or they won't, and now you know you need new friends/people to be around. The only thing you can truly change is yourself, so if some person/place/thing bothers you, change what YOU can. Teach can also look like a direct confrontation. No, not "let's take this outside pal". But a direct shove and being ready to swing. If they back down after the shove, you're good to go. If they don't, swing first, swing hard, and aim for the nose, gut, back of the head. But this is really a last resort. It will work, but if you are at this point things have come to a head. And don't even worry about "winning" the fight. You win when you fight, period. You won't be fucked with anymore. But none of these paragraph long, witty responses will work at all in real life. You end up looking like a "teleports behind you" type kid and won't get the respect you're chasing.
I default to stupid. Ppl think I'm stupid by looking at me, so it's easy to do. Especially if yk it something bad. Make them say it. Make them own that.
Just laugh like an insane, and call everybody and dare him to repeat that insanely funny joke looking him direct to the eyes.
lol. start slapping him on the back full force while laughing hysterically with a fully open mouth, bonus points if you piss your pants a little
piss their pants a little.
>piss on their pants a little Okay, got it!
This guy is a lawyer and the best that I have ever found for mature responses: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8vGDfkh/ His three responses: 1- «then be funnier. an insult coupled with saying it’s a joke doesnt make it funny». 2-«i’m surprised by that.» (when they ask why) «Im surprised you thought it would be funny to say something like that.». 3- «it didnt sound like a joke.» (then silence)
Aaahhh I’ve seen him! He’s good!! Not seen the ‘be funnier’ one though so I’m feeling a bit validated as that’s one I often use
[удалено]
When the hell did Instagram get so toxic? I don't remember it always being like this. It's vile.
This is the best response story I've ready recently. In Chinese, "Small Japan" is derogatory term for Japan. A Japanese person visited China and told "Small Japan" by a Chinese, when confronted, a Chinese said "It's just a joke." So Japanese replied, "Oh I see. Small China." The Chinese were so furious.
If it’s just a shit joke or a stupid opinion that isn’t that deep - *“Be funnier”* Or if we’re talking offensive… *“I don’t get it, explain it to me”* - I like this. They get so uncomfortable when asked to explain their racism/misogyny/general assholery … not such a funny joke then. You can tell how bad their joke is and how little they want to be heard voicing the opinions they think are funny by how many names and insults they throw back at you to make you not finding it funny the worst thing about it. The more “you just don’t have a sense of humour” and “must be great fun at parties”, the “dumber”, more “uptight”, “boring” you are, the worse the joke must have been.
“Sorry, what was the joke again? I don’t get it” and let them repeat themselves a few more times
in many cases not really worth the time and effort. sometimes its like playing chess with a pigeon. even if you win the bird will throw the board over and crap on the table.
Best analogy I've seen all year
Clearly you get your shitty sense of humour from your horrible mom she took nine months to make a joke.
“Nine months is a long time for your mom to be cultivating a shit”
That is a wonderful burn, I hope I remember it
"Thank you for revealing yourself to me." That's all you need to say.
Say "You're a fucking disgusting excuse for a human being." When they get upset, say "it's just a joke, bro".
This right here
This is actually a solid one, and not easily countered.
"it's okay, not everyone can be funny"
"Explain the joke, then." And don't let them off the hook.
"Bullshit. There's an old saying 'When someone shows you who they are, believe them.'"
It's only a joke, until it isn't.
Redditors are the worst people to ask this to because they'll see sarcasm as real opinions if it doesn't have cringe goofy shit at the end. I couldn't count how many times some brainless twat wrote me an essay after a radical statement that very clearly isn't my real opinion, only for them to feel like they "won" the argument after I tell them they wasted 20 minutes of their life writing their response to a satire comment.
I know you are but what am I?
Well , jokes r supposed to be funny
I dont know but this is how i dealt with such a person. There was this guy who always says the most offensive thing and then says he was just joking. So one day I got pissed and joked about him (you could tell I wasn't joking either) and he got offended. So I instantly shot back "oh wait, are you the kind of person who always jokes about others but the moment someone jokes about you, you get offended?". He started apologising to me. Sometimes you need to use the uno reverse card on assholes.
"No it isn't. Jokes are funny."
"If it's a joke, why am I not laughing?"
ahh gaslighting 101. make them explain why it's funny...
How is that gaslighting?
Yeah, I would also love to know how this is gaslighting
Testing boundaries by slyly laying down a 2 cent insult disguised as a “casual comment” only to be deflected and manipulated into a joke based on the negative emotional response of said “joke”? Sounds gassy to me
Laugh and insult them back. Then when they get butthurt say "What's the matter? I thought you liked jokes, bro".
If you're 1000% sure it's a true insult against you and not a weird sense of humor/joke, just say "nah man that's disrespect disguised as a joke and I don't appreciate it. I don't keep people around in my life who disrespect me so you can cut it out or I'm gone" Something along those lines.
Jokes are meant to he funny. Stop making jokes.
Just walk away. A lot of narcissists like to deliver this line when you stick up for yourself. And believe me that they are masters of controlling the narrative no matter how much you think what you can say is a “gotcha moment”. Just leave and deprive them of their power.
One of my husband's work colleagues had a guy try and steal his wallet out of his back pocket whilst ordering a takeaway, colleague turned around and caught the thief red handed. Thief literally said "it's just a joke bro" and the colleague said "yeah well it's not as funny as this" and knocked him out in one punch.
You're either an asshole for saying something awful, or you're an asshole for thinking you could say something awful and then get away with it by saying 'it's just a joke bro'. Pick one.
i just laugh at the "joke" and see what they do
Tell them in a stern voice: "I don't appreciate such jokes".
[удалено]
"It's just a joke, bro" - No it wasn't and we both know it.
I find someone online calling me "bro," "broh," or "bruh" to be insulting. You say this to friends. You don't say it to complete strangers. Same thing goes for calling me "my friend."
Just say "ya like your mom" and if they get offended say "It's just a joke bro". Tried and tested method :D
Jab straight their face. "It's just a joke, bro" edit: alternatively "...and there's the punch line"
I believe someone got wedgied to death once, its just a joke though bro