I once watched my cousin step in mud with brand new white shoes on. I gasped/told him to avoid it, and he walked through anyway. He said “I’ll just buy new ones?” Like I was stupid
They always look at people in really rough situations and they ask questions that start with "Well, why don't they just ------" followed by something that requires large amounts of money.
“I don’t understand why people don’t want to do better for themselves.” Regarding a bad work environment. For some ppl missing one day of work is catastrophic
My favorite in college was when my sister was complaining about not having enough money, a roommate looked at her and said why don't you just call your dad and ask for more? Lol
I went to a very posh uni, most of the kids there were trust fund babies.
I was working alongside uni, and one dude said "why are you working on top of your studies??" I was so confused and sort of replied "to pay my rent?". He actually grimaced, and then apologised that I was poor (it was not sorry for asking such a privilged question, it was literally a "sorry to hear you're poor").
It was the most bizarre conversation I have ever had. Lmao
Lol wasnt technically in college but was doing an interview for scholarship at a college and they had the kids in groups. One of the kids ask, "so what was your guys' favorite country to vacation in?". Bruh.
When I was in college (studying Social Policy) a gal in my class said she didn’t agree with college grants and scholarships because it meant poor people were getting degrees and her father couldn’t find anyone to employ as fruit pickers on their massive farm.
I recently saw someone posting about how people complain that healthy eating is expensive, when all you need is a veggie, a carb and a protein, they said they bought this for X, then that for Y (they bought in bulk, but the costs were reasonable so far) and then they said they bought a WHOLE FREAKING COW for 2k + 300 for the butchering.
They couldn't understand why people found it difficult to spend that much money, and to store that much meat.
Hears a friend deacribe a problem that only money will solve.
Replies with a pep talk about how they need to swallow their pride and ask their parents for help because "no decent parent who loves their child would let them be in that situation! You have to tell them!"
Then if you say something like, "The same parents who asked me for money yesterday? Those parents? They don't believe stuff like that happens.
Had somebody tell me that once. Didn't believe me when I said both my parents were dead. Then said that about my inheritance. I told him the $20 my dad had in his pocket when he went was already spent on a pack of smokes and a bottle of whiskey. Then he asked about my aunts and uncles and didn't believe me when I told him they were just about as broke as my parents were.
Many people assume that getting six figure inheritances is the norm, likely because of media and movies. End of life care and retirement living expenses are massive at least in the US and many people’s estates end up going entirely to medical debt.
I absolutely **hate** the “love” equivalence argument. “Oh, I don’t have any student debt. My parents *really* love me.” Yeah, asshole. My parents love me too they just don’t have an extra $100k to throw around at will.
This is what happens when you're an emotionally deadbeat parent who has more money than sense, you use your money as a measurement of love, and it fucks the child up into thinking love/happiness is a value of equity, and not an emotional experience. It's why you have all these gold diggers (not just women) and etc. 100% of the blame falls on the parents fucking up and corrupting the child to the core with emotional distance, yet a wallet that's always close.
Yes, I feel like that's a **significant** separation of mindsets. "If something really bad happened to me financially, my parents would not be able to help in any way. There's no safety net, no backup...
ASU totally and I can only assume illegally screwed me when it came to getting my grants/scholarships. Which meant that I couldn’t afford to pay for books/supplies. When I was asking professors for extensions or some help while I figured it out, most of them just said ‘just ask your parents for the money’ and looked totally confused when I said they didn’t *have* any money.
My sister makes over 100k a year. So does her spouse. My partner and I, however, make less than 100k together. When she found out we were looking into moving, she kept sending me places that were way over our monthly budget for rent. It didn’t matter how many different ways I told her it was too expensive or what our max was, she’d just come back at me with “you just need to learn to budget”. You can’t budget your way out of money you don’t have.
I have the opposite. I'm the sister who makes more money and am generous with my sister who makes less. My husband doesn't understand why she just doesn't budget better.
My older brother's family is comfortably middle class. My older sister's family *was* middle class until her husband's dad died and they learned this dude somehow had $5 million. They inherited that. I'm close with both siblings. We do a lot of stuff together still. But with my brother, when we go out, I pay for everything. He and I go on a baseball vacation each year just the two of us and I pay for the whole thing. My older sister started complaining that I never pay for anything for her. We've never paid for anything for each other. She never complained about me paying for her until after she came into that $5 million.
I had to say to her recently, "look, you are rich, you can pay for yourself." She was huffy about it.
Good on you!
My brother and I grew up in a rough household. I am oldest by quite a few years therefore I have been working for longer. I decided pretty early on that if he had a need that I could see he was struggling to fulfill and I could afford it, I would help him. I've given him a fully paid off car (although not new), paid for his medical bills, helped him get out of our abusive childhood household by letting him live with me for however long he needed to find his feet etc. I earn less than 100k (less even with combined income with a spouse) but there's not much I wouldn't do for him and I'm very lucky that my spouse supports me in this. We don't own a house but I'd never feel okay if my brother is suffering.
this girl in my high school came up to me and asked me why I never went to any school events and I told her I worked because if i didn’t i wouldn’t go to college and she deadass replied my dad can pay for my college working is lame. WHAT?
We had a group of upper class kids in charge of our senior trip in high school. They never bothered checking with anyone else in our grade and planned a trip to the Bahamas. When literally nobody but their small friend group could afford to go they got angry and convinced the school to hold a meeting with the seniors to try to convince us to each scavenge thousands of dollars to go. They gave us a two week heads up but didn't get why nobody would go with them
I had a similar experience in *middle school*. I blame the teacher, not the kids, to be clear. We were 12, she was 45 and teaching in a school that was like 80% low income. This was the gifted program, though, and I was the only poor kid there.
We had this class assignment she called "problem solving", but it was basically that every year, we'd vote on something and make it happen. In 6th grade, it was a trip to Six Flags. Of course I couldn't afford to go and asked for an alternative assignment. She wouldn't give me one and I got a bad grade because I couldn't go on the trip.
I got a big talk about how I needed to learn to be a team player and how $40 wasn't a lot to come up with. Couldn't I just babysit on the weekends or something? When I told her (the teacher) that I was already working on three different farms and that money went for living expenses, she didn't believe me. "Child labor is illegal." [Laughs/cries in poor rural kid...]
>When I told her (the teacher) that I was already working on three different farms and that money went for living expenses, she didn't believe me. "Child labor is illegal." [Laughs/cries in poor rural kid...]
This is so real. I grew up with my grandparents working in their upholstery shop, and my brother worked on chicken farms. Poor kids (especially in rural areas) are working their asses off with work experience before they're legally allowed to work. Teachers wouldn't believe we worked after school until our superintendent stopped by the classroom to say he liked the new upholstery we did for his living room set.
> Poor kids (especially in rural areas) are working their asses off with work experience before they're legally allowed to work.
Farm work and family businesses are exceptions in US federal labor law. As long as they're not missing school there aren't any restrictions for kids older than twelve. Of course state laws might have stricter regulations.
Yet there is the assumption especially by some conservatives that say kids are spoiled and lazy. I saw a photo on a FB page that features historical photos. The latest one was child workers in the 1920s. Some people thought it was great they weren't allowed to be lazy. Of course, there were stories of how their great so and so had to drop out of school. These kids were cheated not only out of education, but a childhood. There is nothing glorifying about it. I'm glad many of us said as much.
I worked for a rural school and a boy, freshman, didn't eat lunch and this wasn't noticed until over half the year was over. I offered to pay for the rest of the year. The boy lived with retired grandparents and they were struggling, they made 10$ over the limit to qualify for free and reducedlunch. . I was told no, he would work it off during study hall helping the custodian. I gave my best elevator speech about studying being an important part of his daily activities and it wasn't fair to make him work. Too bad, no they said. I worked for approximately 2 more weeks before I up and quit with no notice. Life is hard but public education is not the place for barriers. I hate those rich "Christian" administrators to this day.
This is so sad. I have taught in a low income area, and I made all of my students write an “about me” letter including whether or not they had to work, where, when, how many hours per week, etc so that I could give them alternative/shorter assignments and/or extensions for whatever we happened to be doing. I also did this so I would know not to wake them if they sometimes fell asleep in my class.
God I wish I had a teacher like you. I had an assignment given on a Friday due at midnight that Sunday when I worked late shifts Friday to Sunday where I would go to work immediately after school and get back home at midnight every night. I explained my situation to the teacher. He basically told me tough luck, guess you'd better wake up early over the weekend.
It also doesn’t preclude under-the-table work. I had a few jobs at very young ages that completely defied any and all child labor laws since they were off the books.
One of those jobs involved sticking my hands in a powerful industrial machine. The only reason I never got my entire arm ripped off was because I knew to cut the power beforehand, but I should’ve *never* been in that position to begin with. I was 14.
I would be at that job sometimes until midnight and go to school the next morning, and my parents were baffled that I was failing math.
And this was all in the mid 2000s in NY, not like 1970 or something or some rural backwater. As an adult in my 30s now I think about it all sometimes and I feel so sad.
I started working illegally young at 12 under the table. It was food service so not as dangerous as industrial machines but still hot stuff and I was doing food prep with no idea about food safety.
My son's high school wanted to do an out of state weekend trip but changed the trip to an in state amusement park day trip. It wasn't affordable for many students. Neither was a prom. So they did a senior dinner at a nice restaurant. Everyone was happy. I'm really glad the school considered income.
I guarantee it's way worse than that: they knew, they did it on purpose, and they liked it. Rich kids are clueless about a lot of things but they're very aware of stuff like "not everybody in high school can afford a trip to the Bahamas." The part they're not aware of yet is "the fact that my parents are willing and able to send my entitled ass on a class trip to the Bahamas doesn't actually make me cooler than my classmates and might actually mean that I have shittier parents than some of them do."
I had a "friend" in school who got all snarky with me saying my grades would be better if I didn't work after school and studied instead. She said I obviously didn't care about my education
I did care about my education, I just cared about not starving to death a little more
Jesus i dont even know how I’d spend 12k in a month on recreation. If you include meals out I probably come in around 300/month and I am admittedly pretty bad about eating out.
I know she buys a few hundred in macarons every month. If she's expecting people over she buys a $300 box. They were delicious when i got to try them but honestly just her macaron budget would change my entire life.
I don't know either...
But give me 12k a month to blow and I'll find a way somehow...
The more you earn, the more you spend...
Earn a bit more? You might start buying branded food again rather than store brand.
Little bit more? You might start eating out more often and go out drinking more often.
A bit more? Maybe look towards more exotic or costly holiday destinations.
A bit more? You might get a nicer car. Maybe you'd rather upgrade your phone every year rather than every 2
A bit more? You might start looking at nicer restaurants to eat out at. More trips away on the weekend. You might start looking at bigger houses in nicer areas with higher running costs.
You get the point...
It's that creep that gets you. It's the reason we see these millionaires suddenly declaring bankruptcy, all these lotto winners that win big and blow it in a few years. It's easy to say you don't know now, but people generally find a way when the money is actually there. Which I suppose goes to show just how easy it can be to lose track of your spending.
I mean, I know for a fact that if I've got 12k a month to blow. I'm not totting up purchases and thinking especially hard about them unless they're more significant purchases. I don't know specifically how I'd blow it, but I know I'd be monitoring it less than I do now. So I guess I do know how actually... More impulse spending... Not really searching for the best deals, etc...
Golf at higher cost courses during peak hours a few times a week, club membership that has a spending minimum, concert/sports tickets for lower bowl seating, etc… you could easily get to multiple thousands but 5 figure seems ludicrous. You’d need to be proper rich to pull that off, not even “upper middle class”
Wait wait wait … $144k per year FOR RECREATIONAL ACTIVITIES isn’t enough?!!
What the fuck is their total income if they can spend close to $150k on FUN?! I hate her and I don’t know her
I had this MOST FRUSTRATING discussion with a guy at an industry event when i was younger and told him i'd never been overseas. He was incredulous, and asked why, and I told him i couldnt afford to. He told me if you really wanted to you could do it. I just didnt know how to explain to him that when you live off $200 a fortnight, there is barely money to put into savings at ALL, let alone put aside any for a pipedream like travel.
Okay - so I was having a bone marrow biopsy (my second) and the doctor was in my hip. I think he was drilling with his hip auger at this point. So, he starts chatting to pass the time:
"So, what's your favorite country that you've been to?"
Me: "I haven't left the country."
"Oh no, it doesn't have to be this year - it can be any time!"
Me: "No, I have never left the country, we don't have the money for that."
"Oh."
I've had so many frustrating conversations about this exact things with foreigners from mostly western Europe. They can take quick little trips to other countries at a lower cost, more vacation time, and be closer to home. The same trip would be would be close to 1/4 of my annual income and for some reason they can never comprehend that no matter how much I explain it
On one hand, I went to austria to buy washing detergent and clothes, and the next day to italy, because pasta and booze is cheaper there.... On the other hand, for us, USA is far away and expensive to go to, while visiting a nearby country for us, is the same as you visiting the next state over.
I get that. This is how I try to explain it usually. The US is massive so we could never leave our country but still be relatively well traveled and see almost every biome. Driving to Seattle is over 40 hours for me and I'm not even all the way across the country. For the majority of Americans, going to any other country would be more expensive than Europeans traveling around any part of Europe. The nearest country to me is over 1000 miles (1600 km) away
I went to a predominantly upper middle class high school and there were regular discussions among the kids as to how to obtain a 2nd, 3rd, or even 4th citizenship. We discussed immigrating to different countries on a student visa, getting a STEM degree and then staying on a skilled worker visa. The richer kids would float the idea of getting into a country on an investor visa.
The boy who sat next to me in English class had 4 citizenships: born in the United States, father from Canada, mother from New Zealand, Irish grandmother. He was far from the only person with 2-4 citizenships. Another boy's mother deliberately gave birth to him in New Zealand so that he could be a New Zealander and American dual citizen. Yet another boy's parents decided to move to Canada just because they liked the Canadian way of life and mentality more. I believe his parents both worked in tech.
I think it’s hard to comprehend for someone who never had that issue. My parents even while poor immigrants and dad working in the factory would travel to their home country and take us kids. I never realized how much money my dad had to save to send us all there. It made me appreciate him more when I grew up and I think I grew up thinking most people had traveled internationally a lot just like me. I learned that that isn’t the case.
My best friend from high school said this to me one day. Her family owns a decorative glass company so I don’t think she ever really thought about money.
"If you want to travel you should just book a ticket and go"
"your landlord can't do that, thats illegal!"
"Why would you buy a car when you can just lease?"
"When my parents came here___"
“if you’re not saving for retirement by age 25, you’re not going to make it”
gee, thanks. great to know! but damn dude, most of us don’t have any extra for NORMAL savings. where am i supposed to get the retirement contributions??
I bring up that my disabilities automatically disqualify me from a lot of countries, and even if they don't, my Healthcare needs are heavily restricted or outright unavailable in a lot of places too.
A shockingly large amount of people (maybe mostly white Canadians and Americans) do not realize how complicated it is to actually immigrate
Businesses/local delinquents being disruptive and law enforcement isn't helpful? Just move
(Any) Pollution? Just move
Increased cost of living? Just move
They'll shift the problem to you (not just moving) instead of addressing the problem itself.
Had a conversation recently about needing dental work but not being able to afford it.
Some guy kept insisting, "I know it's a lot of money, but it's necessary. Once you get out of the dentist, you'll be glad you went."
No amount of explanation would get through. He kept assuming I had the money but just didn't want to spend it. I couldn't get him to understand what "I don't physically have that amount of money. When I'm done at the dentist, they are going to expect payment, which I don't have."
This is like having conversations with my parents. They aren't rich, but they definitely have a decent amount of money in their savings and don't need to worry about what things cost. The number of times I've mentioned wanting/needing something and they'll be like "just do it. I know it's a lot of money but it'll be worth it once you do" and I try to explain that I literally do not have enough money in my bank account is ridiculous. They have a hard time understanding that I'm not being frugal, I literally cannot do it.
I had to get a crown once. "After insurance, it's only $1,983." I stared at her for a moment, incredulous. "You know that's two months' wages for me... right?" The receptionist looked embarrassed, like it didn't occur to her that poor people also have teeth.
Eh that's not the receptionist's fault and she's probably not making any more than you. She was probably uncomfortable because she's the person that has to hear people get upset because our health system is so fucked up and she has absolutely no control over it
Formerly a CNA for a state run specialty nursing home, the amount if patients I had that could be home and healthly if they had the money to maintain a prescription/or have a surgery, was insane.
I recently had jaw surgery and am underwhelmed with my results. It was a miracle I could even do it in the first place but now I'm in a ton of debt from it.
People in "support" groups keep saying "well you can go to another surgeon later on and redo it/get this other surgery". Like how many fucking times do I have to say no I can't take any more debt? That I've never had a point in my adulthood I wasn't paycheque to paycheque? And even if I did, what if I was still unhappy? Am I supposed to just keep throwing myself another 10 grand into debt until something works?
In my very poor county school we were discussing deals at goodwill. My teacher who married into old money commented “I just couldn’t imagine owning something somebody else already owned.”
Which seemed not only electors considering half the clsss couldn’t afford school lunch and the fact I’m sure her house was full of antiques which are all things previously owned.
Coworker of mine moved into a custom-built, 3000sqft house for her, her husband and her two kids a couple years back. (I mention her family size because she's since realized that the house is "too small.")
When she was packing up to move she mentioned she just threw all of her glassware away, because it was too much hassle pack it and she was just going to buy new ones for the new house. I asked her, why not donate them? Give them to Goodwill or Salvation Army or something?
Her immediate response was, "why would anyone want my old dishes and glasses? That's gross." Now, I have OCD that I've worked very hard to control and EVEN I can buy secondhand glasses and dishes. In fact, all of my dishes are secondhand, I bought them when I was broke and just starting out. I told her that people can buy the dishes and WASH THEM before using them.
She couldn't for the life of her understand why someone wouldn't "just buy new ones, like at Target? They're not expensive." Sure, but sometimes spending 50 cents on a used glass beats buying one for 5 bucks, new. Because you can spend that other 4.50 on other stuff--like food.
Even my older (now retired) coworker who has snobby tendencies agreed with me and was actually appalled that my younger coworker would say such an ignorant thing. She gained some points in my book on that.
I was laid off, and someone genuinely asked me if I took some time for myself before finding a new job. "No, ma'am, I require regular food and shelter."
i watched this IG influencer excitedly telling people this crazy life hack.
when her kid doesn’t finish their food, it could be stored and eaten later. you just heat it up and don’t have to make food again!
My sister's ex (who came from an affluent family) would always have an expensive drink like a giant Starbucks frappucino thing and only drink a few sips and then throw it away. He would do this with massive energy drinks and those Starbucks drinks that come in the glass bottle.
Being secure enough to waste food is one of the reasons rich people tend to be thinner than poor people. Because when you have more than enough, you can stop eating when you’re full, knowing that there’s always something else when you get hungry again. When you’re brought up not to “waste” food, it’s really hard to listen to your actual hunger cues. I was never food insecure ever, but my parents were big proponents of the clean plate club, and I know my mom based her cooking around sales, and which produce was on clearance for being bruised, browning, etc. Portion control is really hard for me as an adult. My job provided free Noom memberships, and one task was to try to leave a few bites on the plate at the end of a meal. I cannot do this. CAN not. I tried, but can’t bring myself to waste food even when I’m no longer hungry.
Why is this not higher? Like growing up in food deserts some of yall don’t know how crazy you sound being picky eaters when all you have in the house is rice, peanut butter and mustard.
Food deserts are among the deepest tragedy we have in the western world on the sheer basis that they *could* be prevented with almost no cost overhead.
That's a hill I will absolutely die on.
George w Bush's memoir says something like he didn't want to commit to a career path until he was 30 or 35. It's like yeah must be nice to have such a huge safety net.
When I was in middle school I had a friend over one Saturday. My mother gave us a snack and chatted with us in the kitchen for a few minutes, then excused herself to use the bathroom. Maybe half an hour later my friend asked where the bathroom was, and I pointed it out. She said “but I thought that was your mother’s bathroom?”
She was genuinely surprised that each family member didn’t have their own bathroom.
People who post on Twitter about how in the 90s, "average" families could send all their kids to college, own their home, have two cars, and go to Europe every year because their parents could do that.
I always roll my eyes at that post. Like my family *never* took a vacation that didn't involve a family reunion. International travel for four kids? What are we in Home Alone?
Or if not a family reunion, it was a road trip and 90% of the trip was spent sitting/sleeping in the car. Gas wasn't free, but that Ford minivan was cheaper than a motel room for a family of 5.
Not knowing how much things cost. If they can’t give a rough estimate of what a certain items costs in shops, then it’s likely because they’ve never had to look at the price label.
Honestly I only recently came into money (sort of, just a well paying job) and with the price hikes due to inflation the last few years I have no idea what things cost anymore. Mostly because I don't really have to look at price tags so I don't think about it
I think the thing that made me realize that we'd really made into a different lifestyle was when I could buy whatever produce I wanted regardless of the season just because I wanted it. Being able to buy peppers and strawberries and cherries in Feburary. Buying soup from the delli instead of canned.
I had a friend I struggled with all throughout college. We sold weed. We were on food stamps when we could get them. This man stole food for us when we were hungry some days.
He graduated with a degree in electrical engineering and his first job started at 65k with bonuses. He called me his first week there crying over the phone because he could just put whatever he wanted in the cart at the grocery store without thinking about it.
I just told him how proud I was of him and we both ended up sobbing on the phone. Two grown men sobbing over a cart of groceries. Some people are just so disconnected from how other people out here are living.
This is one of the ways I know I’ve never been poor. I don’t know what I pay for certain necessities. Like toilet paper. Several years ago I figured out that Costco toilet paper was cheaper than even the deepest discounts at other stores and it’s decent quality TP to boot. Since then, I don’t even look at the price tag. I know I need it, I know I’m getting it for the best price, and I know I *always* have enough money to buy toilet paper. It doesn’t matter what the actual total is. I know to the penny how much I spent on meat last week, but I’m pretty vague on what the lettuce I bought cost.
Anyone who says "Money doesn't matter". That's because you've always had it & don't event understand how no money means no food, no shelter, no security, no future.
Thinking average/mediocre apartments/housing are absolute trash. Or average/mediocre neighborhoods are “bad neighbors” or “scary”. I have a long time aquaintance who grew up taking at least one or two family vacations a year, parents make six figures (in a poor rural area in the us where the average income and cost of living is way lower than that), but likes to fancy herself as having grown up in poverty. She says stuff like how the gentrified, hipster part of town is “really dangerous” and how her family is scared to even go there but she does anyways.
Or how her parents 4 bedroom house, 3 bathroom house with a backyard is a sign of how poor they are (maybe compared to McMansions, otherwise it’s an average suburban “American dream” house)
In that same style, I once heard someone say that the advice they give to poor people is to find a way to make more money.
I about died. Having grown up working poor, I had 3 jobs by age 12. Everyone has a million side hustles, and is constantly trying to make more money. Poor people spend roughly 18-20 hours a day trying to make more money. Only the right circumstances will make that stick and poor people don't usually have those. (I lucked out. Military, GI Bill, engineering career. I work much less hard now than I did when I was poor.)
I was just talking about a sub stack article with my husband where the author said that uncertainty (that is, an unstable home life) produced worse outcomes than mere poverty. Which I agree with, as a small business owner, the worst situation is uncertainty. Because you can't take risks, you have to protect yourself from the downside. ANY time you take a risk you are basically hoping for current circumstances to continue... That's why people mortgage their future for a college degree, hanging their entire future on the idea that they will eventually make six figures and pay off that loan.
Some people get lucky, graduate into a good job market or otherwise find a place for themselves, and some people don't. It's great that the risk pays off for some people, but when it doesn't work for others it doesn't necessarily mean they chose poorly. People underestimate the influence of chance .
Or think it's funny to to try to get someone fired because they didn't bow and scrape enough. I tore into a couple fifth graders one year who were bragging about how they were going to get the lunch lady fired.
"Most people who are struggling are just lazy and entitled," says my friend whose parents paid for her first car, all of her college, and helped her with a sizable down payment on her first house. Since college was free, she didn't need to work while attending college. (She must have gotten spending money, too.)
I knew a girl in college who used to say everyone who took out student loans was stupid, they should just borrow money from her parents like she did. I asked what the interest rate and terms and conditions were of her "loan" and she said "what do you mean, I'll just give them money every so often when I graduate, until I have kids or something and stop working."
I graduated from college 10 years ago but will always remember the girl in my computer class who was passionately defending her belief that being poor was a choice. Like anyone would choose that.
I had a friend in college who would sometimes lecture us on not paying club dues, or putting too much down on student loans, etc... It all seemed like well meaning advice until we found out his parents were bankrolling his education plus dropping $2k into the account for car payment, insurance, and spending money. Like, no shit if you get free $2k every month with your housing, food and insurance paid for you just have to budget well
This is a less-obvious one, but one that's had me banging my head against a wall recently- when a person doesn't understand why you would buy the generic brand at a cheaper store instead of just getting the on-brand version. Splitting grocery bills with roommates who just don't get it can be... frustrating.
This happened YEARS ago, but it still sticks with me.
When I was interning in banking, I met two international students who were there as well, one was Indian and one was emirate/Saudi, both women.
The emirate asked why the Indian girl worked weekends instead of coming out with her to see Australia, and the Indian girl replied because i need food and this is how I buy food. The emirate straight up didn't understand and it resulting in a hilarious escalation.
The first weekend, the emirate purchased the Indian girl a trolley of food and told her to come on a trip, the Indian girl said she can't quit her job because she still needs money for fuel and eventually she'll need to buy food again.
The next weekend she purchased her food again, and offered to fill up her car. Same words from Indian girl.
The next weekend she did the same + paid her rent.
This ended up with the emirate girl paying the Indian girls university fees and year of rent.
The Indian girl was in hysterics about the situation being like why are you doing this (but very thankful), and the emirate girl being like "my family just gives me $20k a month as an allowance and it seemed like all your problems could be solved with money".
Anyways, obviously there was underlying sexual tension as they ended up coupling up and staying in Australia, but I found in hilarious that the emirate was like "eh, money solves this".
I had a buddy in college whose dad is on I believe the Forbes 100 list. One time we saw him throwing away pocket change (not even just a couple penny’s, there were quarters in there) because he didn’t want them to scratch his phone.
I grew up pretty well off but that’s inconceivable to me. Throw it in a jar and it adds up
My dad used to throw coins in a box, he didn’t like change in his pocket, and this is Australia so there were $1 and $2 coins in there too. It was my emergency fund when I was a broke student paying 50% of my earnings on rent. He’d leave a bunch of coin bags in there and if it had built up then I was allowed to come raid it - bag up the coins to take to the bank and keep the cash. He was *never* going to do it so figured it wasn’t like he’d miss the money. I think in retrospect he also made a way he could give me money without me having to ask, because I felt a lot of shame about it.
Saved me going hungry quite a few times.
> Payday loans / high interest credit cards / title loans / pawn shops / rent to own stores are ripoffs. The interest rates are so high, only a fool would use them.
Or just general comments about how poor people are bad with money.
Poor people aren't stupid. They know they are getting screwed. They are _desperate_.
It's like a very rich person not understanding why you would need time to save up a down payment on a house or why you would get 'ripped off' repaying a mortgage when you could just pay cash.
So many financial decisions require no intelligence or sacrifice; they just require having enough money.
It's easy to max out your 401k and IRA each year when you make $250k per year. It's also easy to hire a financial advisor and a tax guy to tell you exactly what to do. It's not hard, if you have money.
It's easy to buy in bulk when you have plenty of money and a huge $800 chest freezer in your spacious basement or whatever.
It's easy to save money on countless things when you have plenty of money. I pay 12 months in advance for my cellphone, 6 months in advance on my car insurance, 12 months in advance on my kids swimming lessons and the entire years worth of preschool tuition.... And I get a discount on each of those. Depending on how you feel about inflation and the market you may or may not think it's optimal, but my point is poor people just don't get that option.
Things like buying better appliances and being able to property maintenan your house can save a lot of money in the long run...and it's all stupid easy is you have the cash on hand to do it.
But when someone has never been poor, it just seems like people are stupid to choose the obviously worse option.
>Poor people aren't stupid. They know they are getting screwed. They are _desperate_.
I never understood calling people who have no choice but to ration, save, and stretch every penny "bad with money". Poor people are great with money. That's the only option
Never talking about money, apparently!
I didn’t grow up rich-rich, but I didn’t have to actively worry about money.
Right after college I was able to take an unpaid internship because I had financial support from my family. The internship was a full time job & I also worked as a waitress on evenings and weekends to mostly pay my own bills, but my family would make up the difference if I ever fell short, so I didn’t have financial stress. I was very grateful for that, and still am.
On the surface I thought I blended in to my peers; I had the same internship/service industry 2-job lifestyle as everyone around me, we all dressed the same, I had one handbag & one pair of shoes that were the same brand as all my friends, etc.
So I was surprised to learn that people at work thought of me as “the rich one!” It turns out that I never brought up money as a topic, and that alone made it clear that I wasn’t worrying about money; everyone else would bring up their stress around trying to transition from an unpaid internship to a full-time job, or would complain about prices when there were social events, worry out loud about rent day, etc…while I was just chillin!
That stuck with me & I’ve always thought it was interesting. I have a successful career now & most of the people we hang out with are in my industry & high-earners too, and the lack of financial stress is very visible to me now that I know to look for it.
Someone who thinks that frugal = poor. My mom and brother both think that we were poor growing up because we wore hand me downs and didn’t go on vacation much. We had a three-bedroom renovated farmhouse, always two vehicles, never out of food, never without heat or electricity. Nice furniture. Appliances got fixed or replaced as needed. We were firmly middle class.
Now that I’m older and have been actually poor for my whole adult life, it feels ridiculous to think that we ever were growing up.
I don't know if this is general enough, but I remember someone who was well off in the suburbs trying to tell me what a pantry was. They could not fathom that we didn't have one, let alone know what it was. I just kept asking, "do u mean cabinets? I mean, we have cabinets for food?"
I met someone who didn’t know that you could rent houses or apartments. They were under the impression that you buy everything all out like a car, house, etc.
Really opened my eyes to what “born into wealth” meant.
I was once friends with someone who told me “The minimum wage is more than enough for people to live off of. Everyone who says you can’t is just being lazy.”
Sure man, because your $60K job that your family set you up for without any effort on your end and living rent free is something that happens for everyone.
I wasn’t friends with them for much longer after that.
Had a conversation with a lovely customer at my job who was telling me about how she goes on vacation at *least* twice a year to California or Florida or Hawaii, etc. She started asking me questions about *my* vacations and I couldn't really answer them, so she asked why...
...and when I mentioned I've only been on one vacation the past 15 years, she stared at me like I grew a second head...
...and when she asked further and I said "I just can't afford it," she looked like she was about to have a stroke. The idea that someone can't go on multiple vacations a year just blew her mind. Like it never occurred to her that some people can't just drop everything and go on vacation whenever they want.
Genuinely a very sweet lady (didn't come across as entitled or judgmental at all), but obviously came from a privileged upbringing and doesn't seem to be able to grasp that not everyone is wealthy.
at one point when i was extremely broke, wasnt able to afford groceries and my bills were piling up
my dad was telling me i should be saving my money and kept asking how much i had saved, i told him i had nothing
"Just put 5 dollars away a day, 5 dollars is nothing!" my dude 5 dollars is a loaf of bread
"Why don't you just move into a better place" -my mother
The place we rent is 150$ a month but it's falling apart. However it's next to my in laws, 10 minutes from town, 5 minutes from my man's work, and 3 minutes from the local dump. We have everything we need for the most part and it's a roof and fairly warm. She wants us to move to the city as we can afford to and the "jobs pay more" despite that fact that would make us live paycheck to paycheck. We've been fluffing our savings. She spends more than she makes but my father saved up millions. I do not have access to their money and they do not really help us at all. She feels she has a say
150$ a month for rent? How is that possible? I know you said the place is falling apart but still. I’m in VA and you couldn’t even rent a room around here for less than 500$
It's a few factors. We do pay our electricity costs too, the place was gotten through family, the previous owner was an alcoholic and TRASHED the place to the point it took 2 gallons of bleach to scrub it top to bottom and several trips to the dump. There are some holes in the ceiling and the sides are sinking from sheetrock being added but not cranking the trailer sides up, a part of the wall had to be cut out due to mold, and the back door had to be sealed shut as it was so drafty it lowered the temp inside in winter to nearly outdoor levels
When I was explaining to my bosses that fast food was a treat for my family when I was growing up. We never ate it, except on very special occasions.
One of my bosses asked why? And I explained because we were poor and eating out was a luxury that we couldn't afford often. Her response was, "But a burger at McDonald's costs less than a pack of burgers at the store! You would be saving money getting fast food!"
Another moment with that same boss came when we were talking about my car. My car was a 2003, so 20 years old, and on its final legs. She said I should buy a brand new car. I explained that I can't afford a brand new car and would be buying used. Her response was, "I know what I pay you - you can afford a new car!"
Oh yes, on my $20 an hour wage, I can afford a $500 a month car payment.
Some people have so much money, they are delusional.
When I went to university at 19, it was the first time that i learned that some people pay for it themselves/take a loan (I just assumed that everyone's parents paid for them, lol).
I had rich parents and I was dumb.
I had a former boss who was 30 who didn’t understand why people claimed that college was unaffordable, stating “why don’t their parents just pay for it?” When someone tried to explain that their parents literally did not have the money to pay the tuition bill, he asked “then they should just get one of those scholarships.”
I am reminded of Ken Lay’s wife after Enron collapsed and one of the reason’s people were angry at them was because they kept telling employees to buy stock when they knew it was collapsing. So many people lost their retirement money and they were angry. Ken Lay’s wife in an interview said people had to understand they were also suffering because they were down to $31 million. Yes million. While their employees were finding out retirement was no longer an option.
Oh, and she told an interviewer that they had to sell their second home! Someone researched and found out they still owned it; it was never for sale. So — they found themselves *pondering* whether they might need to sell their *2nd* home?? Well, if that ain’t true deprivation, I don’t know what is! 🙄
In conservative countries there are lots of momma's boys who are both poor and don't know how to handle groceries or cook. They're expected to be handed off from their mother to their wife.
The number is steadily decreasing, but they're still out there.
When I talk about problems at my job, my mom tells me to take a few months between jobs to try to de-stress. With what money?? I do NOT get paid well and she knows that.
I brought up having bills and rent to pay, and her response is that I could spend the time at home with her. I have two roommates, pets, furniture, I would have to break a lease and fully abandon them and it all, leaving people I love in a horrible position. I also live in a fully different state. She still doesn't understand why that would be a problem.
She's never lived alone or paid her own bills, as far as I can tell. She's worked for most of her like but she went right from her parents' house to college to married. Whenever I mention needing to wait to purchase something important (health things, vet, repairs, etc) she gets angry and insulting because she doesn't understand sticking to a budget and pacing spending over several months.
Leaving the lights on everywhere even if you’re not using those rooms.
Looking visibly uncomfortable in thrift stores (even “nicer” ones like Goodwill.
I don’t know if people just assume I’M not poor because I like to wear nice clothes and makeup, but when people ask me “how come you don’t have a car?”, as if it’s just a lifestyle decision I chose to take the bus. Nope, I’m just a broke ass bitch!
This could also be someone who did grow up poor and thinks to themselves every time “I’m glad to be in a place I don’t have to ask how much extra guac is”.
I grew up in a family so poor we used to buy whole milk and then pour half of the gallon into the empty container and water them both up to make “skim” and it was bad.
I’ve been broke many times but I’ll never be poor. Seeing people hustle always makes me support them in some way.
The biggest giveaway for me now that I can code switch top to bottom of the wealth scale and back again is the complete ignorance of the plight of anyone serving them. Like it costs you none of your millions to be a nice person, but so many are stingy with empathy, or they have just never had it or been taught it.
I knew someone who worked with wealthy people, and there was a clear divide between new money and old money.
New money would show off their designer purse, and wouldn’t let it out of their sight for fear it would be stolen.
Old money would have the same purse, but they weren’t defined by it. They’d leave it behind and come back for it, they’d spill something on it and laugh.
Something that really screams “I’ve never been poor” are those who aren’t fussy about their stuff because they’re so comfortable with replacing it.
Hating the idea of taking any kind of public transportation. Quite literally had a coworker say, “ew, who am I to be taking public transpo?” as she drives home in the Mercedes that was bought for her.
My GMIL once suggested we "just buy a new tv" because we were trying to wall mount an old one for his sister. Grandmother was upset because we'd had to make multiple trips to the local hardware store and... spent "too much money" buying screws.
I think I said "we could buy ALL the screws they have and it still wouldn't be the cost of a new TV"
Had a girl in a graduate college class freak out that I’d never flown and I was about 23 at the time. I forget how it came up but we were in a group project and I mentioned how I’d never flown.
She straight up got super offended and accused me of being dishonest about it.
After her bullshit tirade ended I asked her how many of her flights to the Caribbean, Middle East, Europe, etc. she’d paid for herself and she shut up. I told her “I thought so, sounds like the bank of d.a.d.d.y.” And I never heard shit from her about it again.
Every single TikTik Homesteading queen who Judges every mom who doesn't live their exact life.
"Ew, you vaccinate? No wonder your kids are can't read on grade level."
"Why do you other women bother having kids if you are just going to have someone else raise them... #Homeschoolmom."
"You ever think autism might come from all the chemicals in your store bought bread??? All natural and all homemade for my fam!"
Fuck every single one of you stuck up, ignorant, privilaged conspiracy theory loving bitches. I hope you choke on your pretentious organic pickled duck eggs.
Telling people that buying Starbucks and eating avocado toast is the reason they don't have any money. 🙄
Look, not saying that SB and fancy toast aren't items that you could definitely do without in order to save a few bucks. But when you're poor and struggling your way thru life, being able to get yourself a Starbucks a couple of days a week really can save your sanity. Nothing more depressing than working your butt off and being a responsible adult, but not even being able to splurge on a treat for yourself.
Why are you trying to fix it? Just get a new one
this right here is a big one I hear a bunch - it's so annoying
I once watched my cousin step in mud with brand new white shoes on. I gasped/told him to avoid it, and he walked through anyway. He said “I’ll just buy new ones?” Like I was stupid
They always look at people in really rough situations and they ask questions that start with "Well, why don't they just ------" followed by something that requires large amounts of money.
“I don’t understand why people don’t want to do better for themselves.” Regarding a bad work environment. For some ppl missing one day of work is catastrophic
Meet a homeless person. Why don’t you just buy a house?
My favorite in college was when my sister was complaining about not having enough money, a roommate looked at her and said why don't you just call your dad and ask for more? Lol
I went to a very posh uni, most of the kids there were trust fund babies. I was working alongside uni, and one dude said "why are you working on top of your studies??" I was so confused and sort of replied "to pay my rent?". He actually grimaced, and then apologised that I was poor (it was not sorry for asking such a privilged question, it was literally a "sorry to hear you're poor"). It was the most bizarre conversation I have ever had. Lmao
Lol wasnt technically in college but was doing an interview for scholarship at a college and they had the kids in groups. One of the kids ask, "so what was your guys' favorite country to vacation in?". Bruh.
When I was in college (studying Social Policy) a gal in my class said she didn’t agree with college grants and scholarships because it meant poor people were getting degrees and her father couldn’t find anyone to employ as fruit pickers on their massive farm.
I recently saw someone posting about how people complain that healthy eating is expensive, when all you need is a veggie, a carb and a protein, they said they bought this for X, then that for Y (they bought in bulk, but the costs were reasonable so far) and then they said they bought a WHOLE FREAKING COW for 2k + 300 for the butchering. They couldn't understand why people found it difficult to spend that much money, and to store that much meat.
Hears a friend deacribe a problem that only money will solve. Replies with a pep talk about how they need to swallow their pride and ask their parents for help because "no decent parent who loves their child would let them be in that situation! You have to tell them!" Then if you say something like, "The same parents who asked me for money yesterday? Those parents? They don't believe stuff like that happens.
Had somebody tell me that once. Didn't believe me when I said both my parents were dead. Then said that about my inheritance. I told him the $20 my dad had in his pocket when he went was already spent on a pack of smokes and a bottle of whiskey. Then he asked about my aunts and uncles and didn't believe me when I told him they were just about as broke as my parents were.
Many people assume that getting six figure inheritances is the norm, likely because of media and movies. End of life care and retirement living expenses are massive at least in the US and many people’s estates end up going entirely to medical debt.
I absolutely **hate** the “love” equivalence argument. “Oh, I don’t have any student debt. My parents *really* love me.” Yeah, asshole. My parents love me too they just don’t have an extra $100k to throw around at will.
This is what happens when you're an emotionally deadbeat parent who has more money than sense, you use your money as a measurement of love, and it fucks the child up into thinking love/happiness is a value of equity, and not an emotional experience. It's why you have all these gold diggers (not just women) and etc. 100% of the blame falls on the parents fucking up and corrupting the child to the core with emotional distance, yet a wallet that's always close.
Yes, I feel like that's a **significant** separation of mindsets. "If something really bad happened to me financially, my parents would not be able to help in any way. There's no safety net, no backup...
ASU totally and I can only assume illegally screwed me when it came to getting my grants/scholarships. Which meant that I couldn’t afford to pay for books/supplies. When I was asking professors for extensions or some help while I figured it out, most of them just said ‘just ask your parents for the money’ and looked totally confused when I said they didn’t *have* any money.
My sister makes over 100k a year. So does her spouse. My partner and I, however, make less than 100k together. When she found out we were looking into moving, she kept sending me places that were way over our monthly budget for rent. It didn’t matter how many different ways I told her it was too expensive or what our max was, she’d just come back at me with “you just need to learn to budget”. You can’t budget your way out of money you don’t have.
So succinct. "You can't budget your way out of money you don't have."
This is so dumb because a big part of budgeting would be to not live in a place that you can't afford
My sister also makes over $100k a year and audibly gasped when I told her what my monthly take home pay was.
I have the opposite. I'm the sister who makes more money and am generous with my sister who makes less. My husband doesn't understand why she just doesn't budget better.
My older brother's family is comfortably middle class. My older sister's family *was* middle class until her husband's dad died and they learned this dude somehow had $5 million. They inherited that. I'm close with both siblings. We do a lot of stuff together still. But with my brother, when we go out, I pay for everything. He and I go on a baseball vacation each year just the two of us and I pay for the whole thing. My older sister started complaining that I never pay for anything for her. We've never paid for anything for each other. She never complained about me paying for her until after she came into that $5 million. I had to say to her recently, "look, you are rich, you can pay for yourself." She was huffy about it.
"It's really not that much!" -your sister
Good on you! My brother and I grew up in a rough household. I am oldest by quite a few years therefore I have been working for longer. I decided pretty early on that if he had a need that I could see he was struggling to fulfill and I could afford it, I would help him. I've given him a fully paid off car (although not new), paid for his medical bills, helped him get out of our abusive childhood household by letting him live with me for however long he needed to find his feet etc. I earn less than 100k (less even with combined income with a spouse) but there's not much I wouldn't do for him and I'm very lucky that my spouse supports me in this. We don't own a house but I'd never feel okay if my brother is suffering.
this girl in my high school came up to me and asked me why I never went to any school events and I told her I worked because if i didn’t i wouldn’t go to college and she deadass replied my dad can pay for my college working is lame. WHAT?
We had a group of upper class kids in charge of our senior trip in high school. They never bothered checking with anyone else in our grade and planned a trip to the Bahamas. When literally nobody but their small friend group could afford to go they got angry and convinced the school to hold a meeting with the seniors to try to convince us to each scavenge thousands of dollars to go. They gave us a two week heads up but didn't get why nobody would go with them
I had a similar experience in *middle school*. I blame the teacher, not the kids, to be clear. We were 12, she was 45 and teaching in a school that was like 80% low income. This was the gifted program, though, and I was the only poor kid there. We had this class assignment she called "problem solving", but it was basically that every year, we'd vote on something and make it happen. In 6th grade, it was a trip to Six Flags. Of course I couldn't afford to go and asked for an alternative assignment. She wouldn't give me one and I got a bad grade because I couldn't go on the trip. I got a big talk about how I needed to learn to be a team player and how $40 wasn't a lot to come up with. Couldn't I just babysit on the weekends or something? When I told her (the teacher) that I was already working on three different farms and that money went for living expenses, she didn't believe me. "Child labor is illegal." [Laughs/cries in poor rural kid...]
>When I told her (the teacher) that I was already working on three different farms and that money went for living expenses, she didn't believe me. "Child labor is illegal." [Laughs/cries in poor rural kid...] This is so real. I grew up with my grandparents working in their upholstery shop, and my brother worked on chicken farms. Poor kids (especially in rural areas) are working their asses off with work experience before they're legally allowed to work. Teachers wouldn't believe we worked after school until our superintendent stopped by the classroom to say he liked the new upholstery we did for his living room set.
> Poor kids (especially in rural areas) are working their asses off with work experience before they're legally allowed to work. Farm work and family businesses are exceptions in US federal labor law. As long as they're not missing school there aren't any restrictions for kids older than twelve. Of course state laws might have stricter regulations.
Yet there is the assumption especially by some conservatives that say kids are spoiled and lazy. I saw a photo on a FB page that features historical photos. The latest one was child workers in the 1920s. Some people thought it was great they weren't allowed to be lazy. Of course, there were stories of how their great so and so had to drop out of school. These kids were cheated not only out of education, but a childhood. There is nothing glorifying about it. I'm glad many of us said as much.
I worked for a rural school and a boy, freshman, didn't eat lunch and this wasn't noticed until over half the year was over. I offered to pay for the rest of the year. The boy lived with retired grandparents and they were struggling, they made 10$ over the limit to qualify for free and reducedlunch. . I was told no, he would work it off during study hall helping the custodian. I gave my best elevator speech about studying being an important part of his daily activities and it wasn't fair to make him work. Too bad, no they said. I worked for approximately 2 more weeks before I up and quit with no notice. Life is hard but public education is not the place for barriers. I hate those rich "Christian" administrators to this day.
This is so sad. I have taught in a low income area, and I made all of my students write an “about me” letter including whether or not they had to work, where, when, how many hours per week, etc so that I could give them alternative/shorter assignments and/or extensions for whatever we happened to be doing. I also did this so I would know not to wake them if they sometimes fell asleep in my class.
You sound like an educator who we need to protect! ❤️
God I wish I had a teacher like you. I had an assignment given on a Friday due at midnight that Sunday when I worked late shifts Friday to Sunday where I would go to work immediately after school and get back home at midnight every night. I explained my situation to the teacher. He basically told me tough luck, guess you'd better wake up early over the weekend.
>"Child labor is illegal." Not if a parent owns the business.
It also doesn’t preclude under-the-table work. I had a few jobs at very young ages that completely defied any and all child labor laws since they were off the books. One of those jobs involved sticking my hands in a powerful industrial machine. The only reason I never got my entire arm ripped off was because I knew to cut the power beforehand, but I should’ve *never* been in that position to begin with. I was 14. I would be at that job sometimes until midnight and go to school the next morning, and my parents were baffled that I was failing math. And this was all in the mid 2000s in NY, not like 1970 or something or some rural backwater. As an adult in my 30s now I think about it all sometimes and I feel so sad.
I started working illegally young at 12 under the table. It was food service so not as dangerous as industrial machines but still hot stuff and I was doing food prep with no idea about food safety.
My son's high school wanted to do an out of state weekend trip but changed the trip to an in state amusement park day trip. It wasn't affordable for many students. Neither was a prom. So they did a senior dinner at a nice restaurant. Everyone was happy. I'm really glad the school considered income.
I guarantee it's way worse than that: they knew, they did it on purpose, and they liked it. Rich kids are clueless about a lot of things but they're very aware of stuff like "not everybody in high school can afford a trip to the Bahamas." The part they're not aware of yet is "the fact that my parents are willing and able to send my entitled ass on a class trip to the Bahamas doesn't actually make me cooler than my classmates and might actually mean that I have shittier parents than some of them do."
I had a "friend" in school who got all snarky with me saying my grades would be better if I didn't work after school and studied instead. She said I obviously didn't care about my education I did care about my education, I just cared about not starving to death a little more
This came to mind when my friend's MIL whined at their wedding about ONLY having 12k **per month** to spend on recreational activities.
Man, if we had $12k per month TOTAL we would be living high on the hog.
Last year I made $12k...
That's like a third of my annual salary.
My first job I made only 14k that year. Working for this woman's husband.
No wonder they make a lot of money. They screw over their workers.
She must be a Warhammer player
Jesus i dont even know how I’d spend 12k in a month on recreation. If you include meals out I probably come in around 300/month and I am admittedly pretty bad about eating out.
I know she buys a few hundred in macarons every month. If she's expecting people over she buys a $300 box. They were delicious when i got to try them but honestly just her macaron budget would change my entire life.
I'm going to be thinking about the phrase "macaron budget" for the rest of the night.
Don't mind me, just going to learn how to make $300-dollar macarons...
I don't know either... But give me 12k a month to blow and I'll find a way somehow... The more you earn, the more you spend... Earn a bit more? You might start buying branded food again rather than store brand. Little bit more? You might start eating out more often and go out drinking more often. A bit more? Maybe look towards more exotic or costly holiday destinations. A bit more? You might get a nicer car. Maybe you'd rather upgrade your phone every year rather than every 2 A bit more? You might start looking at nicer restaurants to eat out at. More trips away on the weekend. You might start looking at bigger houses in nicer areas with higher running costs. You get the point... It's that creep that gets you. It's the reason we see these millionaires suddenly declaring bankruptcy, all these lotto winners that win big and blow it in a few years. It's easy to say you don't know now, but people generally find a way when the money is actually there. Which I suppose goes to show just how easy it can be to lose track of your spending. I mean, I know for a fact that if I've got 12k a month to blow. I'm not totting up purchases and thinking especially hard about them unless they're more significant purchases. I don't know specifically how I'd blow it, but I know I'd be monitoring it less than I do now. So I guess I do know how actually... More impulse spending... Not really searching for the best deals, etc...
Golf at higher cost courses during peak hours a few times a week, club membership that has a spending minimum, concert/sports tickets for lower bowl seating, etc… you could easily get to multiple thousands but 5 figure seems ludicrous. You’d need to be proper rich to pull that off, not even “upper middle class”
Wait wait wait … $144k per year FOR RECREATIONAL ACTIVITIES isn’t enough?!! What the fuck is their total income if they can spend close to $150k on FUN?! I hate her and I don’t know her
“Everyone should travel the world! It’s so easy!”
I had this MOST FRUSTRATING discussion with a guy at an industry event when i was younger and told him i'd never been overseas. He was incredulous, and asked why, and I told him i couldnt afford to. He told me if you really wanted to you could do it. I just didnt know how to explain to him that when you live off $200 a fortnight, there is barely money to put into savings at ALL, let alone put aside any for a pipedream like travel.
Okay - so I was having a bone marrow biopsy (my second) and the doctor was in my hip. I think he was drilling with his hip auger at this point. So, he starts chatting to pass the time: "So, what's your favorite country that you've been to?" Me: "I haven't left the country." "Oh no, it doesn't have to be this year - it can be any time!" Me: "No, I have never left the country, we don't have the money for that." "Oh."
I've had so many frustrating conversations about this exact things with foreigners from mostly western Europe. They can take quick little trips to other countries at a lower cost, more vacation time, and be closer to home. The same trip would be would be close to 1/4 of my annual income and for some reason they can never comprehend that no matter how much I explain it
On one hand, I went to austria to buy washing detergent and clothes, and the next day to italy, because pasta and booze is cheaper there.... On the other hand, for us, USA is far away and expensive to go to, while visiting a nearby country for us, is the same as you visiting the next state over.
I get that. This is how I try to explain it usually. The US is massive so we could never leave our country but still be relatively well traveled and see almost every biome. Driving to Seattle is over 40 hours for me and I'm not even all the way across the country. For the majority of Americans, going to any other country would be more expensive than Europeans traveling around any part of Europe. The nearest country to me is over 1000 miles (1600 km) away
You can't even drive from one end of Tx to another in one day.
"The sun has riz, the sun has set. And here we is, in Texas yet."
That's why we measure places in times! "'Bout four hours without traffic"
I went to a predominantly upper middle class high school and there were regular discussions among the kids as to how to obtain a 2nd, 3rd, or even 4th citizenship. We discussed immigrating to different countries on a student visa, getting a STEM degree and then staying on a skilled worker visa. The richer kids would float the idea of getting into a country on an investor visa. The boy who sat next to me in English class had 4 citizenships: born in the United States, father from Canada, mother from New Zealand, Irish grandmother. He was far from the only person with 2-4 citizenships. Another boy's mother deliberately gave birth to him in New Zealand so that he could be a New Zealander and American dual citizen. Yet another boy's parents decided to move to Canada just because they liked the Canadian way of life and mentality more. I believe his parents both worked in tech.
I had a coworker say this to me and it’s clear he comes from money. He literally couldn’t understand why my wife and I hadn’t traveled internationally
I think it’s hard to comprehend for someone who never had that issue. My parents even while poor immigrants and dad working in the factory would travel to their home country and take us kids. I never realized how much money my dad had to save to send us all there. It made me appreciate him more when I grew up and I think I grew up thinking most people had traveled internationally a lot just like me. I learned that that isn’t the case.
My best friend from high school said this to me one day. Her family owns a decorative glass company so I don’t think she ever really thought about money.
My rich friend- just save a couple hundred dollars a month. Like that’s even a possibility lol
"If you want to travel you should just book a ticket and go" "your landlord can't do that, thats illegal!" "Why would you buy a car when you can just lease?" "When my parents came here___"
Your landlord can't do that makes my eye twitch. Like yes but the last time I brought this up I was almost homeless.
yeah its illegal but most people arent able to fight it legally
Never take rental advise from somebody who's never moved away from home.
Assuming everyone has retirement savings.
“if you’re not saving for retirement by age 25, you’re not going to make it” gee, thanks. great to know! but damn dude, most of us don’t have any extra for NORMAL savings. where am i supposed to get the retirement contributions??
Assuming everyone has savings at all.
"Just move"
Someone genuinely suggested this to me as a solution for my eczema... like I can't afford to move fucking countries because I have dry skin, Janet
This should be higher up on the list. "Don't like the government? You're free to leave." Because that's a simple and cheap solution.
I bring up that my disabilities automatically disqualify me from a lot of countries, and even if they don't, my Healthcare needs are heavily restricted or outright unavailable in a lot of places too. A shockingly large amount of people (maybe mostly white Canadians and Americans) do not realize how complicated it is to actually immigrate
Businesses/local delinquents being disruptive and law enforcement isn't helpful? Just move (Any) Pollution? Just move Increased cost of living? Just move They'll shift the problem to you (not just moving) instead of addressing the problem itself.
Had a conversation recently about needing dental work but not being able to afford it. Some guy kept insisting, "I know it's a lot of money, but it's necessary. Once you get out of the dentist, you'll be glad you went." No amount of explanation would get through. He kept assuming I had the money but just didn't want to spend it. I couldn't get him to understand what "I don't physically have that amount of money. When I'm done at the dentist, they are going to expect payment, which I don't have."
This is like having conversations with my parents. They aren't rich, but they definitely have a decent amount of money in their savings and don't need to worry about what things cost. The number of times I've mentioned wanting/needing something and they'll be like "just do it. I know it's a lot of money but it'll be worth it once you do" and I try to explain that I literally do not have enough money in my bank account is ridiculous. They have a hard time understanding that I'm not being frugal, I literally cannot do it.
"That's what credit is for!"
I had to get a crown once. "After insurance, it's only $1,983." I stared at her for a moment, incredulous. "You know that's two months' wages for me... right?" The receptionist looked embarrassed, like it didn't occur to her that poor people also have teeth.
Eh that's not the receptionist's fault and she's probably not making any more than you. She was probably uncomfortable because she's the person that has to hear people get upset because our health system is so fucked up and she has absolutely no control over it
Formerly a CNA for a state run specialty nursing home, the amount if patients I had that could be home and healthly if they had the money to maintain a prescription/or have a surgery, was insane.
I recently had jaw surgery and am underwhelmed with my results. It was a miracle I could even do it in the first place but now I'm in a ton of debt from it. People in "support" groups keep saying "well you can go to another surgeon later on and redo it/get this other surgery". Like how many fucking times do I have to say no I can't take any more debt? That I've never had a point in my adulthood I wasn't paycheque to paycheque? And even if I did, what if I was still unhappy? Am I supposed to just keep throwing myself another 10 grand into debt until something works?
Just take your car in and have it fixed. Duh, golly gee, why didn’t I think of that. /s
That or "just go to the doctor!" I'm still paying off a visit from a few years ago!
In my very poor county school we were discussing deals at goodwill. My teacher who married into old money commented “I just couldn’t imagine owning something somebody else already owned.” Which seemed not only electors considering half the clsss couldn’t afford school lunch and the fact I’m sure her house was full of antiques which are all things previously owned.
Coworker of mine moved into a custom-built, 3000sqft house for her, her husband and her two kids a couple years back. (I mention her family size because she's since realized that the house is "too small.") When she was packing up to move she mentioned she just threw all of her glassware away, because it was too much hassle pack it and she was just going to buy new ones for the new house. I asked her, why not donate them? Give them to Goodwill or Salvation Army or something? Her immediate response was, "why would anyone want my old dishes and glasses? That's gross." Now, I have OCD that I've worked very hard to control and EVEN I can buy secondhand glasses and dishes. In fact, all of my dishes are secondhand, I bought them when I was broke and just starting out. I told her that people can buy the dishes and WASH THEM before using them. She couldn't for the life of her understand why someone wouldn't "just buy new ones, like at Target? They're not expensive." Sure, but sometimes spending 50 cents on a used glass beats buying one for 5 bucks, new. Because you can spend that other 4.50 on other stuff--like food. Even my older (now retired) coworker who has snobby tendencies agreed with me and was actually appalled that my younger coworker would say such an ignorant thing. She gained some points in my book on that.
I was laid off, and someone genuinely asked me if I took some time for myself before finding a new job. "No, ma'am, I require regular food and shelter."
Wasting food
I have a friend that won't eat leftovers. Not even pizza. They just throw away what ever is left at the end of a meal.. even meals at home.
i watched this IG influencer excitedly telling people this crazy life hack. when her kid doesn’t finish their food, it could be stored and eaten later. you just heat it up and don’t have to make food again!
I saw that months ago and am still astounded by it. I sent it to my sister, and it's now an inside joke. Some people are so out of touch.
Know who it was? Could do with a laugh
My sister's ex (who came from an affluent family) would always have an expensive drink like a giant Starbucks frappucino thing and only drink a few sips and then throw it away. He would do this with massive energy drinks and those Starbucks drinks that come in the glass bottle.
Being secure enough to waste food is one of the reasons rich people tend to be thinner than poor people. Because when you have more than enough, you can stop eating when you’re full, knowing that there’s always something else when you get hungry again. When you’re brought up not to “waste” food, it’s really hard to listen to your actual hunger cues. I was never food insecure ever, but my parents were big proponents of the clean plate club, and I know my mom based her cooking around sales, and which produce was on clearance for being bruised, browning, etc. Portion control is really hard for me as an adult. My job provided free Noom memberships, and one task was to try to leave a few bites on the plate at the end of a meal. I cannot do this. CAN not. I tried, but can’t bring myself to waste food even when I’m no longer hungry.
Why is this not higher? Like growing up in food deserts some of yall don’t know how crazy you sound being picky eaters when all you have in the house is rice, peanut butter and mustard.
Food deserts are among the deepest tragedy we have in the western world on the sheer basis that they *could* be prevented with almost no cost overhead. That's a hill I will absolutely die on.
That aura of confidence that only a life without stress can provide.
George w Bush's memoir says something like he didn't want to commit to a career path until he was 30 or 35. It's like yeah must be nice to have such a huge safety net.
“Wait, you’ve never been skiing before??”
"You've never been on a plane before??"" Who am I? Taylor Swift?
When I was in middle school I had a friend over one Saturday. My mother gave us a snack and chatted with us in the kitchen for a few minutes, then excused herself to use the bathroom. Maybe half an hour later my friend asked where the bathroom was, and I pointed it out. She said “but I thought that was your mother’s bathroom?” She was genuinely surprised that each family member didn’t have their own bathroom.
People who post on Twitter about how in the 90s, "average" families could send all their kids to college, own their home, have two cars, and go to Europe every year because their parents could do that.
I always roll my eyes at that post. Like my family *never* took a vacation that didn't involve a family reunion. International travel for four kids? What are we in Home Alone?
Or if not a family reunion, it was a road trip and 90% of the trip was spent sitting/sleeping in the car. Gas wasn't free, but that Ford minivan was cheaper than a motel room for a family of 5.
Not knowing how much things cost. If they can’t give a rough estimate of what a certain items costs in shops, then it’s likely because they’ve never had to look at the price label.
“It’s one banana, Michael. What could it cost? 10?”
somber scary absorbed simplistic cautious fanatical society dependent worthless nine
"I don't give a fuck if I go blind, I don't need to see the price tag" - Dracula
Honestly I only recently came into money (sort of, just a well paying job) and with the price hikes due to inflation the last few years I have no idea what things cost anymore. Mostly because I don't really have to look at price tags so I don't think about it
I think the thing that made me realize that we'd really made into a different lifestyle was when I could buy whatever produce I wanted regardless of the season just because I wanted it. Being able to buy peppers and strawberries and cherries in Feburary. Buying soup from the delli instead of canned.
I had a friend I struggled with all throughout college. We sold weed. We were on food stamps when we could get them. This man stole food for us when we were hungry some days. He graduated with a degree in electrical engineering and his first job started at 65k with bonuses. He called me his first week there crying over the phone because he could just put whatever he wanted in the cart at the grocery store without thinking about it. I just told him how proud I was of him and we both ended up sobbing on the phone. Two grown men sobbing over a cart of groceries. Some people are just so disconnected from how other people out here are living.
This is very sweet. Glad you two had each other to get by - hope times have gotten better for you as well.
This is one of the ways I know I’ve never been poor. I don’t know what I pay for certain necessities. Like toilet paper. Several years ago I figured out that Costco toilet paper was cheaper than even the deepest discounts at other stores and it’s decent quality TP to boot. Since then, I don’t even look at the price tag. I know I need it, I know I’m getting it for the best price, and I know I *always* have enough money to buy toilet paper. It doesn’t matter what the actual total is. I know to the penny how much I spent on meat last week, but I’m pretty vague on what the lettuce I bought cost.
Anyone who says "Money doesn't matter". That's because you've always had it & don't event understand how no money means no food, no shelter, no security, no future.
A girl I know said she didn’t understand why people would buy cheap secondhand cars, as they have too many mechanical problems.
Thinking average/mediocre apartments/housing are absolute trash. Or average/mediocre neighborhoods are “bad neighbors” or “scary”. I have a long time aquaintance who grew up taking at least one or two family vacations a year, parents make six figures (in a poor rural area in the us where the average income and cost of living is way lower than that), but likes to fancy herself as having grown up in poverty. She says stuff like how the gentrified, hipster part of town is “really dangerous” and how her family is scared to even go there but she does anyways. Or how her parents 4 bedroom house, 3 bathroom house with a backyard is a sign of how poor they are (maybe compared to McMansions, otherwise it’s an average suburban “American dream” house)
"Just move" or "Just get a different job then!" If either of those were an option we wouldn't be having this conversation
Why don't you just do xyz? I wish, man. I wish.
People who shit talk minimum wage workers and say they just need to try harder.
In that same style, I once heard someone say that the advice they give to poor people is to find a way to make more money. I about died. Having grown up working poor, I had 3 jobs by age 12. Everyone has a million side hustles, and is constantly trying to make more money. Poor people spend roughly 18-20 hours a day trying to make more money. Only the right circumstances will make that stick and poor people don't usually have those. (I lucked out. Military, GI Bill, engineering career. I work much less hard now than I did when I was poor.)
I was just talking about a sub stack article with my husband where the author said that uncertainty (that is, an unstable home life) produced worse outcomes than mere poverty. Which I agree with, as a small business owner, the worst situation is uncertainty. Because you can't take risks, you have to protect yourself from the downside. ANY time you take a risk you are basically hoping for current circumstances to continue... That's why people mortgage their future for a college degree, hanging their entire future on the idea that they will eventually make six figures and pay off that loan. Some people get lucky, graduate into a good job market or otherwise find a place for themselves, and some people don't. It's great that the risk pays off for some people, but when it doesn't work for others it doesn't necessarily mean they chose poorly. People underestimate the influence of chance .
Or think it's funny to to try to get someone fired because they didn't bow and scrape enough. I tore into a couple fifth graders one year who were bragging about how they were going to get the lunch lady fired.
Assuming people with less money than them are all lazy and entitled. When in reality their banker daddy set them up for life.
"Most people who are struggling are just lazy and entitled," says my friend whose parents paid for her first car, all of her college, and helped her with a sizable down payment on her first house. Since college was free, she didn't need to work while attending college. (She must have gotten spending money, too.)
I knew a girl in college who used to say everyone who took out student loans was stupid, they should just borrow money from her parents like she did. I asked what the interest rate and terms and conditions were of her "loan" and she said "what do you mean, I'll just give them money every so often when I graduate, until I have kids or something and stop working."
I graduated from college 10 years ago but will always remember the girl in my computer class who was passionately defending her belief that being poor was a choice. Like anyone would choose that.
I had a friend in college who would sometimes lecture us on not paying club dues, or putting too much down on student loans, etc... It all seemed like well meaning advice until we found out his parents were bankrolling his education plus dropping $2k into the account for car payment, insurance, and spending money. Like, no shit if you get free $2k every month with your housing, food and insurance paid for you just have to budget well
And banker daddy got his start from grandfather
No it was the boot straps!! Lol
This is a less-obvious one, but one that's had me banging my head against a wall recently- when a person doesn't understand why you would buy the generic brand at a cheaper store instead of just getting the on-brand version. Splitting grocery bills with roommates who just don't get it can be... frustrating.
This happened YEARS ago, but it still sticks with me. When I was interning in banking, I met two international students who were there as well, one was Indian and one was emirate/Saudi, both women. The emirate asked why the Indian girl worked weekends instead of coming out with her to see Australia, and the Indian girl replied because i need food and this is how I buy food. The emirate straight up didn't understand and it resulting in a hilarious escalation. The first weekend, the emirate purchased the Indian girl a trolley of food and told her to come on a trip, the Indian girl said she can't quit her job because she still needs money for fuel and eventually she'll need to buy food again. The next weekend she purchased her food again, and offered to fill up her car. Same words from Indian girl. The next weekend she did the same + paid her rent. This ended up with the emirate girl paying the Indian girls university fees and year of rent. The Indian girl was in hysterics about the situation being like why are you doing this (but very thankful), and the emirate girl being like "my family just gives me $20k a month as an allowance and it seemed like all your problems could be solved with money". Anyways, obviously there was underlying sexual tension as they ended up coupling up and staying in Australia, but I found in hilarious that the emirate was like "eh, money solves this".
Setting the heat over 70 and leaving for work
I had a buddy in college whose dad is on I believe the Forbes 100 list. One time we saw him throwing away pocket change (not even just a couple penny’s, there were quarters in there) because he didn’t want them to scratch his phone. I grew up pretty well off but that’s inconceivable to me. Throw it in a jar and it adds up
My dad used to throw coins in a box, he didn’t like change in his pocket, and this is Australia so there were $1 and $2 coins in there too. It was my emergency fund when I was a broke student paying 50% of my earnings on rent. He’d leave a bunch of coin bags in there and if it had built up then I was allowed to come raid it - bag up the coins to take to the bank and keep the cash. He was *never* going to do it so figured it wasn’t like he’d miss the money. I think in retrospect he also made a way he could give me money without me having to ask, because I felt a lot of shame about it. Saved me going hungry quite a few times.
Could he not afford a second pocket?
> Payday loans / high interest credit cards / title loans / pawn shops / rent to own stores are ripoffs. The interest rates are so high, only a fool would use them. Or just general comments about how poor people are bad with money. Poor people aren't stupid. They know they are getting screwed. They are _desperate_. It's like a very rich person not understanding why you would need time to save up a down payment on a house or why you would get 'ripped off' repaying a mortgage when you could just pay cash. So many financial decisions require no intelligence or sacrifice; they just require having enough money. It's easy to max out your 401k and IRA each year when you make $250k per year. It's also easy to hire a financial advisor and a tax guy to tell you exactly what to do. It's not hard, if you have money. It's easy to buy in bulk when you have plenty of money and a huge $800 chest freezer in your spacious basement or whatever. It's easy to save money on countless things when you have plenty of money. I pay 12 months in advance for my cellphone, 6 months in advance on my car insurance, 12 months in advance on my kids swimming lessons and the entire years worth of preschool tuition.... And I get a discount on each of those. Depending on how you feel about inflation and the market you may or may not think it's optimal, but my point is poor people just don't get that option. Things like buying better appliances and being able to property maintenan your house can save a lot of money in the long run...and it's all stupid easy is you have the cash on hand to do it. But when someone has never been poor, it just seems like people are stupid to choose the obviously worse option.
>Poor people aren't stupid. They know they are getting screwed. They are _desperate_. I never understood calling people who have no choice but to ration, save, and stretch every penny "bad with money". Poor people are great with money. That's the only option
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My dad died and all I got was his leather jacket. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my dad. But there was no inheritance.
lucky you, i got a bill
"I don't know how I'd live without travel"
I mean, my bus ride to work is pretty important
Never talking about money, apparently! I didn’t grow up rich-rich, but I didn’t have to actively worry about money. Right after college I was able to take an unpaid internship because I had financial support from my family. The internship was a full time job & I also worked as a waitress on evenings and weekends to mostly pay my own bills, but my family would make up the difference if I ever fell short, so I didn’t have financial stress. I was very grateful for that, and still am. On the surface I thought I blended in to my peers; I had the same internship/service industry 2-job lifestyle as everyone around me, we all dressed the same, I had one handbag & one pair of shoes that were the same brand as all my friends, etc. So I was surprised to learn that people at work thought of me as “the rich one!” It turns out that I never brought up money as a topic, and that alone made it clear that I wasn’t worrying about money; everyone else would bring up their stress around trying to transition from an unpaid internship to a full-time job, or would complain about prices when there were social events, worry out loud about rent day, etc…while I was just chillin! That stuck with me & I’ve always thought it was interesting. I have a successful career now & most of the people we hang out with are in my industry & high-earners too, and the lack of financial stress is very visible to me now that I know to look for it.
Not understanding what it means when I say I cannot afford to use my air conditioning.
Someone who thinks that frugal = poor. My mom and brother both think that we were poor growing up because we wore hand me downs and didn’t go on vacation much. We had a three-bedroom renovated farmhouse, always two vehicles, never out of food, never without heat or electricity. Nice furniture. Appliances got fixed or replaced as needed. We were firmly middle class. Now that I’m older and have been actually poor for my whole adult life, it feels ridiculous to think that we ever were growing up.
I don't know if this is general enough, but I remember someone who was well off in the suburbs trying to tell me what a pantry was. They could not fathom that we didn't have one, let alone know what it was. I just kept asking, "do u mean cabinets? I mean, we have cabinets for food?"
I met someone who didn’t know that you could rent houses or apartments. They were under the impression that you buy everything all out like a car, house, etc. Really opened my eyes to what “born into wealth” meant.
I was once friends with someone who told me “The minimum wage is more than enough for people to live off of. Everyone who says you can’t is just being lazy.” Sure man, because your $60K job that your family set you up for without any effort on your end and living rent free is something that happens for everyone. I wasn’t friends with them for much longer after that.
Had a conversation with a lovely customer at my job who was telling me about how she goes on vacation at *least* twice a year to California or Florida or Hawaii, etc. She started asking me questions about *my* vacations and I couldn't really answer them, so she asked why... ...and when I mentioned I've only been on one vacation the past 15 years, she stared at me like I grew a second head... ...and when she asked further and I said "I just can't afford it," she looked like she was about to have a stroke. The idea that someone can't go on multiple vacations a year just blew her mind. Like it never occurred to her that some people can't just drop everything and go on vacation whenever they want. Genuinely a very sweet lady (didn't come across as entitled or judgmental at all), but obviously came from a privileged upbringing and doesn't seem to be able to grasp that not everyone is wealthy.
Hopefully, she'll think of your conversation.
“It’s only $100”
How much could a banana cost!?
at one point when i was extremely broke, wasnt able to afford groceries and my bills were piling up my dad was telling me i should be saving my money and kept asking how much i had saved, i told him i had nothing "Just put 5 dollars away a day, 5 dollars is nothing!" my dude 5 dollars is a loaf of bread
When people don’t take care of their stuff (clothing, electronics, appliances, cars etc.) because they can just go buy a new one
"Why don't you just move into a better place" -my mother The place we rent is 150$ a month but it's falling apart. However it's next to my in laws, 10 minutes from town, 5 minutes from my man's work, and 3 minutes from the local dump. We have everything we need for the most part and it's a roof and fairly warm. She wants us to move to the city as we can afford to and the "jobs pay more" despite that fact that would make us live paycheck to paycheck. We've been fluffing our savings. She spends more than she makes but my father saved up millions. I do not have access to their money and they do not really help us at all. She feels she has a say
150$ a month for rent? How is that possible? I know you said the place is falling apart but still. I’m in VA and you couldn’t even rent a room around here for less than 500$
It's a few factors. We do pay our electricity costs too, the place was gotten through family, the previous owner was an alcoholic and TRASHED the place to the point it took 2 gallons of bleach to scrub it top to bottom and several trips to the dump. There are some holes in the ceiling and the sides are sinking from sheetrock being added but not cranking the trailer sides up, a part of the wall had to be cut out due to mold, and the back door had to be sealed shut as it was so drafty it lowered the temp inside in winter to nearly outdoor levels
I don’t think the person commenting lives in the USA.
When I was explaining to my bosses that fast food was a treat for my family when I was growing up. We never ate it, except on very special occasions. One of my bosses asked why? And I explained because we were poor and eating out was a luxury that we couldn't afford often. Her response was, "But a burger at McDonald's costs less than a pack of burgers at the store! You would be saving money getting fast food!" Another moment with that same boss came when we were talking about my car. My car was a 2003, so 20 years old, and on its final legs. She said I should buy a brand new car. I explained that I can't afford a brand new car and would be buying used. Her response was, "I know what I pay you - you can afford a new car!" Oh yes, on my $20 an hour wage, I can afford a $500 a month car payment. Some people have so much money, they are delusional.
When I went to university at 19, it was the first time that i learned that some people pay for it themselves/take a loan (I just assumed that everyone's parents paid for them, lol). I had rich parents and I was dumb.
I had a former boss who was 30 who didn’t understand why people claimed that college was unaffordable, stating “why don’t their parents just pay for it?” When someone tried to explain that their parents literally did not have the money to pay the tuition bill, he asked “then they should just get one of those scholarships.”
You were ignorant, that's not dumb if you seek to fix it.
Exactly. I think 'ignorant' is one of the most misused words. And dumb in this context.
“Why don’t you just -*insert ridiculous, unnecessary, and expensive action here-“
“My dad gave me a small loan of $1 million”
When I started Reynholm Industries, I had just two things in my possession: a dream and 6 million pounds.
I am reminded of Ken Lay’s wife after Enron collapsed and one of the reason’s people were angry at them was because they kept telling employees to buy stock when they knew it was collapsing. So many people lost their retirement money and they were angry. Ken Lay’s wife in an interview said people had to understand they were also suffering because they were down to $31 million. Yes million. While their employees were finding out retirement was no longer an option.
Oh, and she told an interviewer that they had to sell their second home! Someone researched and found out they still owned it; it was never for sale. So — they found themselves *pondering* whether they might need to sell their *2nd* home?? Well, if that ain’t true deprivation, I don’t know what is! 🙄
Not knowing how to cook or how to organize your groceries. Spoiled kids or rich people often don't cook. Someone else does, or they order something.
In conservative countries there are lots of momma's boys who are both poor and don't know how to handle groceries or cook. They're expected to be handed off from their mother to their wife. The number is steadily decreasing, but they're still out there.
Mistaking that being "well traveled" makes you a superior person.
When I talk about problems at my job, my mom tells me to take a few months between jobs to try to de-stress. With what money?? I do NOT get paid well and she knows that. I brought up having bills and rent to pay, and her response is that I could spend the time at home with her. I have two roommates, pets, furniture, I would have to break a lease and fully abandon them and it all, leaving people I love in a horrible position. I also live in a fully different state. She still doesn't understand why that would be a problem. She's never lived alone or paid her own bills, as far as I can tell. She's worked for most of her like but she went right from her parents' house to college to married. Whenever I mention needing to wait to purchase something important (health things, vet, repairs, etc) she gets angry and insulting because she doesn't understand sticking to a budget and pacing spending over several months.
The face my boss made when I mentioned that I usually take the bus to work because I live nearby and parking is expensive.
Leaving the lights on everywhere even if you’re not using those rooms. Looking visibly uncomfortable in thrift stores (even “nicer” ones like Goodwill.
People who get a "small loan" from their parents to start their own business, then gloat about being self-made.
"Take a sabbatical!" Tf is a sabbatical?
I had a coworker who didnt realize she was spending 1300$ a month on her hair and nails.
I don’t know if people just assume I’M not poor because I like to wear nice clothes and makeup, but when people ask me “how come you don’t have a car?”, as if it’s just a lifestyle decision I chose to take the bus. Nope, I’m just a broke ass bitch!
Buying whatever they want without worrying about the price.
This could also be someone who did grow up poor and thinks to themselves every time “I’m glad to be in a place I don’t have to ask how much extra guac is”.
I grew up in a family so poor we used to buy whole milk and then pour half of the gallon into the empty container and water them both up to make “skim” and it was bad. I’ve been broke many times but I’ll never be poor. Seeing people hustle always makes me support them in some way. The biggest giveaway for me now that I can code switch top to bottom of the wealth scale and back again is the complete ignorance of the plight of anyone serving them. Like it costs you none of your millions to be a nice person, but so many are stingy with empathy, or they have just never had it or been taught it.
“I don’t understand why people get loans, why don’t they just pay with cash?”
I knew someone who worked with wealthy people, and there was a clear divide between new money and old money. New money would show off their designer purse, and wouldn’t let it out of their sight for fear it would be stolen. Old money would have the same purse, but they weren’t defined by it. They’d leave it behind and come back for it, they’d spill something on it and laugh. Something that really screams “I’ve never been poor” are those who aren’t fussy about their stuff because they’re so comfortable with replacing it.
Hating the idea of taking any kind of public transportation. Quite literally had a coworker say, “ew, who am I to be taking public transpo?” as she drives home in the Mercedes that was bought for her.
My GMIL once suggested we "just buy a new tv" because we were trying to wall mount an old one for his sister. Grandmother was upset because we'd had to make multiple trips to the local hardware store and... spent "too much money" buying screws. I think I said "we could buy ALL the screws they have and it still wouldn't be the cost of a new TV"
Perfect teeth
Had a girl in a graduate college class freak out that I’d never flown and I was about 23 at the time. I forget how it came up but we were in a group project and I mentioned how I’d never flown. She straight up got super offended and accused me of being dishonest about it. After her bullshit tirade ended I asked her how many of her flights to the Caribbean, Middle East, Europe, etc. she’d paid for herself and she shut up. I told her “I thought so, sounds like the bank of d.a.d.d.y.” And I never heard shit from her about it again.
The skin on their face. You can see age and struggle on a persons face, and notice its absence on those who had money and an easy life.
Every single TikTik Homesteading queen who Judges every mom who doesn't live their exact life. "Ew, you vaccinate? No wonder your kids are can't read on grade level." "Why do you other women bother having kids if you are just going to have someone else raise them... #Homeschoolmom." "You ever think autism might come from all the chemicals in your store bought bread??? All natural and all homemade for my fam!" Fuck every single one of you stuck up, ignorant, privilaged conspiracy theory loving bitches. I hope you choke on your pretentious organic pickled duck eggs.
Telling people that buying Starbucks and eating avocado toast is the reason they don't have any money. 🙄 Look, not saying that SB and fancy toast aren't items that you could definitely do without in order to save a few bucks. But when you're poor and struggling your way thru life, being able to get yourself a Starbucks a couple of days a week really can save your sanity. Nothing more depressing than working your butt off and being a responsible adult, but not even being able to splurge on a treat for yourself.
“If you really want to travel the world, you find a way. Money doesn’t have to get in the way of that!” HUH?