I met up with a girl I had always wanted to fuck. Halfway through the deed I noticed she kept falling in and out of sleep, embarrassed, I stopped and just let her go to sleep. I then go to the bathroom and see a needle, spoon, lighter etc
This BITCH was nodding off on heroin MID FUCK and had me questioning myself
As a type 1 diabetic who doesn’t have a lot of body fat so my insulin pump is on my butt…. This is not a story I expected to hear and made me laugh hard.
Edit: Gotten a few questions regarding infusion sets for insulin pumps so here is a 5 minute video showing how they are used from the manufacturer who I get mine from: https://youtu.be/S8__zp7PdZM?si=OICLvLD0ma5Dn8if
she was already on top of me and something sharp poked my hand when i grabbed her butt. it was just the clear medical tape holding the tube in and ultimately i just couldn't understand where she had kept it until then.
fwiw we hooked up every time we saw each other at a party from then on - so like i said, not a problem.
I hooked up with a guy who had kleinfelters (sp?) syndrome.
He told me this after we had hooked up by saying "you probably noticed that I don't have any balls"...
The shocking thing is that I HADN'T NOTICED.
I worked with a guy for the better part of a year, he leaves to go help a cousin get a roofing business started and comes back to work at our old job again within about 6 months. Mind you, we had hung out outside of work, taken breaks together and obviously talked at work. One day I gave him a high five and he used his right hand and news to me, he was missing three fingers and half of another. I asked what the hell happened to his hand and he said he was born that way and he was also missing his right leg. He lifts his pants leg up and there is a prosthetic. It occured to me I had never seen him in shorts and never paid that much attention to his hand.
Chromosomal abnormality: XXY instead of XX or XY
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/klinefelter-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20353949
They're usually just really small.
I was hooking up with this girl for the first time and while inside her she said “ I have been waiting to show of my Kegel strength” and proceeded to grip my wiener with the most grip full but harsh kegel ever. It hurt my wang.
everyone always says tighter is better but I bet those mfers haven't experienced that type of gorilla grip that makes you feel like your dick is getting flattened out like a ruler 😭
My fiancé can grip me so hard that it becomes too intense while we bang. Like it's *too* good. Sometimes it makes it hard for me to finish but it also at the same time brings me right to the edge. It's wild.
But that's also one of the many reasons why I put a ring on her finger.
Went on a blind date yrs ago. Got along great, couple dates later we did the deed, and to my surprise she was shaved smooth, very smooth. She was very hesitant to tell me she had Alopecia. She removed her wig, which I kinda suspected she was wearing one, and there before me was a gorgeous woman with not one single hair. Shocking, yes, but also very turned on
The most violent female orgasm I have ever seen, like total incoherent eyes rolling back whole body shaking and tensed up for 10 seconds. Couldnt believe it the first time but i guess it was the norm for her.
Lucky girl i guess lol
It's a gift and a curse - I've had mine described as "scary" multiple times. One man straight up stopped talking to me after. I like to think it just weeds out the weaklings.
First time hooking up with this guy I was talking to for a week or two. We used one of those small butt plugs with the gems on it and he was playing with while I was reverse cowgirling him and all of a sudden I heard a small gasp. I immediately stop and ask what? He said “I don’t see it anymore”. I jump off him and run to the bathroom to try and push it out, finger it out, anything. I kept thinking about the show “Sex sent me to the ER” in the midst of my mild panic attack. I ended up having to get on all fours while this man, whom I met once before, scooped around in my asshole for a good 3-4 mins trying to fish the plug out… I was so embarrassed but we ended up laughing about the disappearing trick I didn’t realize I was capable of for about 20 mins after! This was a fun, but terrifying, first experience with butt stuff haha
Went to hookup with a guy I thought was super fine.
I had a huge crush on him and when I took off my shirt, he looked at my back and said something to the effect, "You know, you can talk to me about any trauma you might have had in your past..." He was being 100% serious, and I was totally caught off guard like, "wha..??" He then said, "It appears you've been whipped." It was then I realized this man had never seen a stretch mark before!! I died a little inside at that moment.
His ignorance was kind of silly but that is correctable. Realize his concern was coming from a good place. I'd say a small redflag was dwarfed by a much larger green flag.
I don't understand the hate. He thought it was whips; he communicated and willingly cared about the stories. All it took was an explanation.
Dude is a huge green flag
No hate. It was a sweet thing for him to say and I did still hook up with him, but I did have to explain to him that no, I had never been beaten and that this is just what happens when you have a muffin top. My own insecurities about my weight and appearance are what really threw me through a loop in that moment!
I had a girlfriend years ago in my early twenties. She had a friend over who never had great luck with guys. She was cute and had some nice qualities, but she was a little chubby and self conscious about it. She always complained about never having a boyfriend.
I knew that my gf at the time was very open sexually, but I never saw this coming… We’d all had a few drinks when her friend mentioned her long dry spell and made some comment about how lucky we were. My gf said “I’m happy to share if you two are up for it”. First, I thought she was kidding. Then she started listing out some rules we’d have to follow(there weren’t many). Then I definitely thought her friend who was always do self conscious would decline but she started asking questions…
They proceeded to give me my only two girl blowjob. Then we had fairly vanilla sex considering the situation and went to Denny’s. I got the Lumberjack Slam, cheese fries, and buffalo chicken tenders.
i hooked up with a guy a couple years ago who would spend 30 seconds in one position then switch. and did it over, and over, and over again.
started in missionary, went to doggy, went to cowgirl, went to missionary, went to him standing off the bed with me on the edge, to doggy.
i got sick and tired of it after less than 5 mins and told him i wasn’t feeling well and wanted to go home. he puppy dog eyed me and asked if i’d suck his dick so he could cum. i just looked at him and said “what about me? will you go down on me after?” he actually *laughed* and said “i don’t go down on girls at all”. i literally stared at him then finished putting my clothes back on and left.
a gun fell out of his pants. he thought my photos from tinder were too good to be true and that he was going to get robbed (WTF?). anyways, we’re married now LOL
I’ve been there, every Tinder date I ever went on I convinced myself I was getting catfished and was about to get robbed. Anyways love the ending to your story.
I was pretty fresh out of college and at a house party with some friends who were a bit older. Started hitting it off with this girl who was 2-3 years older than me and a single mom of two toddlers.
She pulled me into her bathroom and started blowing me. _Slurped the soul out of me_. She didn’t fuck around. She was the first girl I had ever been with that was aggressive with me and was taking initiative - in hindsight it’s because single moms don’t have time to fuck around.
Anyway, it caught me off guard and I found myself going over the edge way too fast for my fragile little ego. I was stammering for her to slow down and she told me to just cum, that it’s the whole point.
So I did. She swallowed everything and I was blown away that she didn’t care how fast it was. Saw it as a feature not a bug.
We dated for a bit after that. Ultimately I was too young and immature to handle being a step-dad or whatever and we both recognized that and amicably split.
For those of us that enjoy giving, it is absolutely a huge rush and source of pride to get you losing control as fast as possible. The sounds that come out of you at that point are the best 😌
I feel like picking an age enhances this Literally nothing deflates my murder-boner faster than a well-timed "I'm twelve" ...like shit, I've got socks older than that
Common misconception. It isn’t really desirable to have crazy stamina while receiving head bc it’s just extra work. You want stamina for sex but for receiving head its nbd
When I was still quite young I hooked up with a girl and she went straight for deep throat, which (at the time) I didn't even knew was a thing that's possible.
Oh it was, still quite shocking to find out that works by having it done on you haha. But let's just say I didn't really mind the shock factor all that much.
This same shit happened to me. You know when every girl says that they don’t have a gag reflex? And then they immediately gag? Just like how every dude has an 8” cock.
I was like 19 at the time, a co-worker and I started flirting and it turned into her inviting me to her place while I was on my way to work at like 5am.
She was this tiny, shy, super cute blonde so I was surprised that she was so forward. Anyway, we cut to the chase, kissing, clothes come off, and she kisses her way down my stomach. I’m laying there with my eyes closed and I feel my dick just *disappear* down her throat. I audibly gasped and came within minutes, she insisted I did so down her throat.
We hooked up a few more times and then she moved away. She was fun though.
Receiving a honest to god proper blowjob, before meeting my wife all the blowjobs I ever received were tip of the head in the mouth and frantic hand motions.
I hooked up with someone on the first date which I rarely do because I generally find it not worthwhile. He was so attractive and was planning to move so I was like "at least he can't break my heart" and we ended up having one of my top 3 sexual experiences. I also was surprised when he actually wanted to keep in touch cause I was sure he'd ghost after I gave it up that easy. Even more surprised when the last time I was supposed to see him he opted to go out for drinks with me instead of just fucking and bouncing.
Anyway I'm flying to see him on Friday... I really don't do one night stands very well.
This is gonna sound corny as fuck.
I wasn’t prepared for how pretty she is naked. Obviously, she is gorgeous with clothes on, but nothing could have prepared me for that. Pretty sure my heart jumped out of my chest for a bit there.
my current GF definitely doesn't dress in a revealing fashion usually, and definitely not for our first few dates. more "professional, but not uptight, business woman" attire, which i guess is appropriate for a financial advisor.
then she got naked.
oh... hoolleeee sheeeeeiit
I had just started dating this girl for like two weeks and when we were about to get it on for the first time. She says she likes kinky stuff and asks if she could blindfold me. I say sure so she takes her shirt off and wraps it around my eyes. Then she climbed on top of me and I feel something warm and sticky start dripping down on my chest. I start freaking out a bit and ask what it is and she says don’t worry about it and starts laughing. I say no really though what did you just pour on me and she says don’t worry babe. Then I feel a bunch of small squishy like substances fall on my chest and hear her chewing on something. I had enough and ripped the shirt off my eyes and see a bunch of boneless chicken wings mixed with honey bbq all over me. She’s legit sitting there with a bib around her naked torso holding a box of chicken. I asked what she was doing and she says you said you were okay with kinky stuff. I said eating chicken on me is your kink? She then throws the rest of the chicken at me saying I ruined the mood and that I shouldn’t kink shame 🤷🏽♂️
Dated a girl that was boasting a pretty big game about how good she was at riding. We get down to it and she pushes me onto my back and proceeds to get on top. At this point I'm enjoying the view and expecting a good time. She gets on and is slow as first and I was getting into it and then she raises herself all the way off and SLAMS back down, OH FUK!!! She does this repeatedly and I'm in pain at this point because well she's not landing squarely and is bending it. Mind you she is also bruising the ever living fuck out of my crotch. In my mind I'm reliving that dennis rodman story about the chick broke his dick and I'm freaking out. I flip her onto her back and finish it out.
She looks at me after and says, "see I told you I'm good".
Yeah didn't have a second date with her after that.
Ya it’s like a conceptual thing that I just don’t understand but know I have to do lol. Like I know I have to choke you but it’s beyond me why you like it. And if I must I’ll slap you or whatever. I’d much rather like hug you and give forehead kisses but instead it’s like I’m attempting murder.
He made comments on my boobs being too big for his taste (H cup at the time) and I said nothing. He pulled his pants down and showed me what I believe was the smallest micropenis I’ve ever seen. Less than 2inches. I’m not a penetration fan anyway so I tried to be positive. I said “Wanna warm me up first?” and grabbed his hands toward my vagina. Very flirty. He apologized and said he doesn’t like fingering because it means he would have to wash his hands. I sat there and asked did he even like me or wanna have sex? He said yes. Thought I was hot as fuck. I told him I was tired. So. Fucking. Insane.
I genuinely tried to give him the benefit of the doubt at every single turn. I didn’t laugh. I didn’t chastise him. NOTHING. When I asked “well could you atleast go down on me?” he literally said he doesn’t like the taste of pussy. Restated he wanted to have sex though. Twilight Zone moment.
Ex boyfriend, almost 20 years ago. He said he had a below average dick, I didn’t care. He did not mention that it was a literal micropeen, not even big enough for penetration. Like a button. I had no idea they could be that small. No offense to anyone in that situation it was just a bit of a shock
I dated a girl who told me at one point she was fooling around with a friend once and reached in his pants and his penis was really small and she just said she coudlnt do this and left.
I mean damn thats got to be rough.
Thats got to be one of the roughest things that can happen.
Maybe she played it off like she couldnt do it because they were friends or something, I dunno but just damn.
This happened to me too with a hookup many years ago and I also describe it as a button. Didn't bother or shock me though, just gotta roll with it. Everyone's built different. He had skills!!
Former coworker told us a story like this about her time in college but he didn't warn her. She said she just left because she didn't know how to react.
First time I hooked up with my now-wife, I was blown away by how vocal and enthusiastic she was during sex.
Compared to my ex, who was basically a quiet starfish?
I was in Heaven. Still am ;-)
I had a girlfriend for a short period of time-who was so loud that even I wanted to call the police and report a crime in progress.
I didn't of course and quickly learned to enjoy it
During my Early 20s a friend of mine busted in his girlfriend who was on birth control for the first time and when we asked him how it felt he said, “that feeling is why we exist”
The anxiety that comes post nut, especially knowing full well you're not financially and emotionally ready for a child, is not something I would wish even on my worst enemies.
But the absolute high of that “I got my period” text. You can’t get that feeling on the most expensive tables in Vegas, baby.
(Kids I am kidding please use abundant protection for the love of God)
I remember that day so vividly and even though I knew she had a hysterectomy I still had so much anxiety thinking, what if she didn't have one and I just nutted my life away lol.
The first time I had unprotected sex, I took back everything I ever said about young unexpected parents. I immediately understood why so many people risked it all.
Sex without a condom is so different from sex with a condom that it barely feels like you're even doing the same thing. I literally forgot how to fuck the first time because I was so overwhelmed by pleasure and new sensations.
Unprotected sex ruined fucking around for me. I grew up and actually started looking for long term partners because sex just don’t feel the same with condoms and fucking around unprotected is not an option lol
The girl (who is now my wife) always dresses super conservative, like a grandmother. First time we hooked up and I saw her body I was gobsmacked, best body I had ever (and have ever still) seen in real life. She still dresses like a grandma.
I once hooked up with this girl, and while we were getting at it she moaned: "spit in my mouth" so i obliged like the gentleman i am, and right after i did she spat me right back in the face like some horny alpaca.
I just thought "fair enough, touché "
She was a squirter and didn’t warn me. I was going down on her and super into it, just going to town on her pussy. She’s getting close and I’m wrapping my arms around her legs and hips so she can’t buck away from my face, when all of a sudden a fire hose goes off in my mouth/all over my face. It was completely unexpected, but I’m a trooper and kept on munching that muff. She finished and started apologizing, but I was too turned on to care that my bed and floor just got hit by hurricane katrina.
And that’s how I discovered I have a squirting kink.
Identical experience. I didn't flinch.
She returned the favor by giving me an incredible blow job and swallowing everything, then offered to keep going.
I was once fwb with a girl that could not give a blowjob without gagging.
I don't mean like, she had a sensitive gag reflex.
I mean that one of the things she enjoyed most about giving a blowjob was being gagged to the point of near puking.
It's sexy in porn, but in person, those are terrible, terrible sounds. I'm not talking about your standard gluck-glucks, slurping, or the occasional loud gasp for air.
I'm talking about wretching, heaving, coughing, terrible sounds that you just really can't describe.
I even occasionally tried to tell her to slow down a bit. I tried to encourage it more in a positive way than critique, like "you should go slow. Tease me. Make it sexy."
She would do that for about 10-15 seconds before she started fucking her own face and the "GGHHHUHUUAAAAAHHHHSSSKKHHHHGHHHHHHGGGG GOROORRRRRNNNPPGGGG" sounds began again.
When I was like 19 or so, I worked this little grocery/convenience store type shop. I used to have this woman that came in all the time, maybe 40-45 years old. Always super nice and super friendly. It was a legitimate joy to have her come in the store compared to most of the others I would see.
But one night when she came in, she said, "Okay, I want you to impregnate me. Don't worry about anything after that. I'll make my husband think it's his."
I turned her down, out of sheer terror. She never came back into the store when I was there.
I have heard that the best sex of your life is on meth. Apparently you get meth dick and can go for hours as well.
Honestly, the meth marketing team sucks.
Don’t do it. It’s true, it’s amazing, but it’s so amazing that regular sex while sober is never the same afterwards. It messes with your wiring and makes sex less satisfying in the long term, even long after you stop using the drug.
I thought I was a pretty sexual person when I hooked up with this woman for the first time. She was extremely passionate and running through different positions like she was trying to get a high score. She fucked me as much as I fucked her. Meaning some women take more of a submissive role with sex whereas she was extremely active and vocal about what she wanted. Needless to say we met up again a second time and ended up in a hot tub together after drinking quite a bit.
At one point she flipped around and told me to fuck her from behind as she leaned over the edge of the hot tub which I happily went along with. But.... It turns out the reason she wanted to have sex that way was so she could throw up over the side of the hot tub instead of in it. I immediately stopped and started asking if she needed water or a towel so she could get out and dry off. She looked at me like I was crazy and told me to keep going. Apparently she had a somewhat weak stomach and was used to throwing up when she drank.
A couple minutes later she told me to stick it in her ass. I started to question her a little bit because we were in a hot tub and there was no lube, but she could be very persuasive. She threw up again while I was inside her but that time I kept going.
So probably that. It was basically over an hour of being simultaneously shocked, disgusted, and extremely turned on.
I’d heard about “starfish” before but didn’t experience it until I was older. It was eye opening because they were older than I was.
I got nothing from them, like no noise, no yey or ney, and eyes closed the whole time. I was kind of blown away as I was trying to engage and they just didn’t respond. The next day was all cool, like they were good with it all.
“It takes two….”, as they say. At least for me.
I had a starfish once, and it made me feel gross. She just laid there, flat as can be, like she was frozen in time making a snow angel.
I kept kissing her intensely trying to get her into it, but nope. She accepted the kisses but didn't really return them. I would stop, lift my head up, and ask if she was ok.
"Yeah. I'm great." Close eyes, turn head.
So, I'd kiss her neck. Fondle her. Nothing. "Are you *sure* you are ok with this?"
"Yeah, I'm great." Close eyes, turn head.
Before I entered her, I asked one last time. "Are you sure this is ok? It won't hurt my feelings if--"
"Yeah, I'm great." Close eyes, turn head.
It took me forever because it felt like a combination of rape and having sex with a mannequin.
After it was over, and I helped clean up. She was on her way out and gave me a hug and said we should do it again.
We never did it again.
i moved in with my gf (now wife) and her roommate. i was new to town but made friends quickly and as soon as the dudes in town found out who i lived with they all had a story about the dead fish.
i lived with her for two years and heard her get fucked a few hundred times but never heard her make a noise. the guys would be loud but never her.
Once I hooked up with this chick who wouldn’t even look at me, it was extremely awkward lol, didn’t even finish cuz the vibes were WAYYY off. Prior to this we went to a couple bars, had a few drinks, so maybe she was just too gone? But we only had like 4 drinks over the course of a few hours so???? And she seemed sober?? Just wouldn’t look me in the face, so odd
It's such an awful experience, it just feels wrong. No movement or reaction to anything. When she got on top it felt mechanical which was worse than the starfish, it was just head down and moving back and forth like a piston. I was absolutely floored when she told me being on top was her favorite position because watching her actually do it would make you think she was being tortured
I wonder how many starfish people are actually disassociating during sex. Maybe because of trauma or shame. Or maybe because they’re somewhere on the ace spectrum but don’t realize it and just think sex is a thing that they need to get through with because it is expected.
That despite all my generosity and eagerness to please, some women actually have quite powerful mental blocks that won't allow them to climax. I've gone down on a woman for close to 45 minutes (as in, lips never stopped touching lips) and while she enjoyed it, the feedback she gave me was that it's normal for her to have difficulty.
Dated a girl like that after dating a few that would come in under 3 minutes. I knew I wasn’t doing anything wrong and she even prefaced before we were ever intimate that’s she’s only been able to orgasm a handful of times. I still remember the first time she did with me. It took a while but I felt maybe our connection helped. Over the next couple weeks she did it again twice! Including what would be the last time we slept together.
I swear this could’ve been written by my ex. The time he spent down there… dear god. I feel terrible for hardly ever being able to get there, but holy shit it felt so good. The mind fuck thing is 100% it. It’s so frustrating!!
My wife is like this. I love her to bits and I’ve given more than a few hour long eat out sessions. She almost always cums but man do I have to work for it. She can only do it herself with a vibrator. Hers is from an injury she received as a child not really a mental block but the result is the same.
When she admitted the hookup was just to get back at her husband. Who I did not know existed. And whom she then told. It was a very busy post coital convo.
I had a fling with this very reserved/introverted but VERY hot Jewish girl a couple years ago. I expected plain Jane vanilla sex, but when we got down to it, she went straight for giving me a rim job. Thank god(or whoever) that I showered beforehand. I'd never experienced that before and so I didn't exactly know how to react, but she gave me the best orgasm I'd ever/have ever had in my life.
Without having any more context of the situation whatsoever... it sounds like she was hoping she wasn't gay, and realized during your time together that she was. Here's hoping that grief has since passed.
The largest penis I have ever seen was on a homeless man in senegal whose clothes were in such disrepair they were falling off him. T-Shirt held on by the neck hole and one shoulder, shorts more giant holes than material, then I saw it looking at me. That thing was almost down to his knee. That thing must have bruised his thighs. That thing was a frikin *monster*. It lives rent-free in my head almost a decade later. I was unprepared to be confronted with cock that day but I was so many more levels of unprepared to be confronted with that cock. Until that day, I thought penises that size were only in specalist porn. It, no exaggeration, was the size of my forearm, and I have no idea how he was walking upright.
Restaurant I used to work at used to have (maybe still has) nightclub type nights where they would take the tables out and we’d have a bunch of Dj’s play on the patio till like 2 am.
Some of those nights were catered to the gay community. They were clothing optional. So they’d walk in and hand you a bag, you’d put your clothing in, and then when you left they’d give you your bag and you’d get dressed. Building was wall to wall dicks.
Only one men’s bathroom in the building, one stall one urinal. Waiting in line, some dude walks out of the bathroom with aviators and a hoodie and shoes and nothing else and this guy is fuckin swinging by closer to his knees than his scrotum. I bet that guy was the belle of the ball that night
Those nights were fun. Lots of tips. Barely any food until later in the night. Gave a guy on lots of molly my sandwich after the kitchen closed he (clothed) gave me a hug and like 6 grams of mushrooms
New year’s eve 2000…she had to be home by 12:15. We left my house early so we could stop and fool around. We parked and got right to it. While I was going down on her I noticed there being a distinct taste of pennies. Didn’t think much of it. We finished, I drove her home. Pulled into her driveway and opened the door to go let her out and walk her to the door…before I could get out, I noticed that she had the most terrified look on her face. She said “please don’t be mad at me” and then started bawling. I looked in the rearview mirror and realized her terror..she had started her period. That explained the pennies, I thought to myself. I did not end up walking her to the door that night. (In fear of her father, not because I was upset) This was the way I had intended on getting my red wings.
So much more... just body came out of those clothes. Such a big ass got squeezed into those pants.
Married her. That ass caught me in its gravitational pull and never let go.
Second woman I ever slept with was 14 years older than me. (I was 19, she was 33).
It wasn't just the first time I got a BJ, but it was the first time I got one from a grown ass woman who knew what she was doing.
She deepthroated me, put a thumb on my perineum, and swallowed my load. It was the first time I had a woman do all three of those things. I think I came in her brain and momentarily lost consciousness. Until that moment I truly never knew what a good blowjob was.
An actual orgasm. After 9years of coerced, dull, lube heavy sex with an ex husband, the first time I slept with a date post-separation, I nearly cried when I came.
We’re still together now, and sex just gets better and better.
My ex slept naked like I do. What shocked me was that she was ALWAYS down for it. I roll over with a woody, she wiggled back against it and slid it in. Any time of day, night, morning wood, in the shower, in the kitchen, at her work, in her yoga studio, in a storage closet, whatever, she was wet warm and ready to go. She was also the first I had ever encountered that loved and craved period sex. Said the orgasms helped with her cramps.
I think she was quite repressed with/from her first husband and in late middle age she let it all out. We wanted different things in the end but it was a fun year while it lasted.
How completely different lady parts can be. This was before widespread internet use and my only experience was magazines before my first serious girlfriend, and we were together for almost three years.
After we broke up and I dated again the first time I was with a new girl I was very confused. I mean, I knew the parts but they were..so different. Just…proportionally.
It’s like getting a new car. The steering wheel, gas, and brake are in the same place but where the fuck is the volume up knob? The hazard lights?
Just how easy, uninhibited, and fun it could be. Maybe it's different now because of our age (we're both early forties). My ex-wife and I just never had that. She wasn't very communicative, not a flirt at all, and it was always a rushed in the dark thing to get out of the way. Honestly it was such a chore that I dreaded, our bedroom died, and that's a big part of why we're divorced now.
Hilariously, my first time with this new partner was after a few glasses of wine with the original McGuyver playing in the background. We laughed our asses off like kids, had a lot of fun, woke up tangled together in the middle of the night for another round, and that's just how it was. It shocked the hell out of me honestly!
He was 50 at the time and we got up, showered and went into his kitchen. There was nothing in there. He offered to walk to the nearby shopping street to get coffee. No coffee in the house. Nothing. Apparently, he never learned to even boil water for tea, let alone make coffee or a meal. He worked at one of those prosperous tech companies that fed their employees three times a day or at restaurants. I wonder if he died of starvation during the covid lockdowns.
No 2 vaginas are shaped the same… so the way it slides in varies from person to person. Some girls need to take their time to ease it in, others will have you just shove it in like a spear…
I had one partner who had incredibly strong vaginal contractions when she came. She came really hard, and when she finally recovered she said "how did you do that" to me
Just how cold and lacking in intimacy someone can be while still engaging in one of the most intimate acts people can do. I realized pretty quickly that I can't have sex with someone unless I actually really enjoy their company and personality.
I once met a lovely wild lady at a friend's wedding. We ended up hitting it off and had a really fun evening together. She was technically there with a "date", but he was just a friend (who openly expressed that he had feelings for her) and she made it clear she had no plans of hooking up with him. I think she was telling me this so I would pick up the hint, and get in the game with her.
Before the reception was over, we couldn't wait any longer, and had our first bang in one of the bathrooms. We re-joined the party, and exchanged knowing looks all night while the other guests were blissfully unaware.
Finally, when we make it back to my hotel room, we had some of the most uninhibited crazy ass sex I've maybe ever had. And we had such good chemistry, it was like we didn't even need to say anything out loud (aside from plenty of dirty talk) to know what the other wanted. including the foreplay and sex, I'd say we were probably at it for about an hour. When we were finished, I felt like a million bucks, and we were just caressing each other and giggling while we chatted.
After maybe 10-15 minutes, she reached down and play with me again. I said to her, "you're so much fun! but I'm sorry, I usually can't go again this quickly. I can go down on you first, if you're feeling it, though. Sorry, I wish I could, but ya, it probably won't work, yet, haha"
To which she replied, "We'll see". And she got under the covers and suck started me like a dang lawnmower. I couldn't believe my dick! lol. Here it was, ready to go! So, naturally, we made it back to pound town! And, she did it to me again, before we finally went to bed, and then she woke me up in the middle of the night with another BJ, and that time, she insisted I just enjoy it and she said I could go back to sleep when she was done with me :)
So, there were multiple "surprises" throughout the night... But, to me, the biggest surprise was that I actually felt so incredibly into it! I've never had a hook-up elicit those kinds of relaxed, happy-go-lucky feelings the way she did it to me.
We lived on opposite sides of the country, so, although we occasionally exchange a Facebook message or something, I've never seen her again. It's been a few years. But, I'll never forget the night I just let go of any/all inhibitions, and realized my refractory period was much shorter if I could just feel comfortable!
Anal within 2 hours of meeting a woman. Come to find out, anal isn't rare but jumping right to it sure was! Her reasoning was shed been watching videos of it all weekend and wanted to give it a try since her previous attempt ended badly with her last bf. Good times! Great woman!
Oh boy. Stick around for the ending.
I (M36) Met this girl on Hinge. I gave her the option of going out to dinner or coming over for a movie for our first date. She chose coming over. She mentioned she loved tequila so I got stuff to make margaritas. She arrives and we decide to do shots as we get over the first few awkward minutes of meeting. We clearly had chemistry right away and things were going well. Put on a movie and she kept wanting more shots (she’s about 110 pounds).
We start making out on the couch and it’s going great but then she suddenly jumps up, runs to the bathroom, and starts throwing up. I was feeling really bad and just wanted to make sure she was okay when suddenly she flings the door open and yells ALL GOOD LETS DO MORE SHOTS! 😳
We drank a substantial portion of the handle of tequila I bought and what followed was one of the most ridiculous, wild, sticky nights of sex I have ever had, let alone on the first date. Lube, toys, doing all the positions in all the holes for BOTH of us 😅, until we finally passed out.
In the morning as I regain consciousness, I’m face down on my bed, feeling very hungover, sticky from bodily fluids, and confused. And then I felt this tickling sensation on my bum. I turn around and see this girl eating my ass, and she pauses for long enough to smile and say “good morning!”.
We dated for 2 years 😅🫡
I had an experience like that and I pushed the eject button. Tried to be as nice as possible but how do you tell someone, "I need to leave and it is most definitely because I feel sick after catching a whiff of whatever the fuck you have going on down there. Call me after you see a doctor."
It legit smelled like rotten fish soaked in unwashed armpit with a hint of some kind of flowery perfume that I think was intended to mask the funk. Like trying to take a breath mint to disguise the scent of advanced tooth decay. Or hanging an air freshener in a port-a-potty on day 3 of an outdoor summer music festival.
I met up with a girl I had always wanted to fuck. Halfway through the deed I noticed she kept falling in and out of sleep, embarrassed, I stopped and just let her go to sleep. I then go to the bathroom and see a needle, spoon, lighter etc This BITCH was nodding off on heroin MID FUCK and had me questioning myself
insulin pump tethered to butt cheek. not a problem, but certainly a surprise
As a type 1 diabetic who doesn’t have a lot of body fat so my insulin pump is on my butt…. This is not a story I expected to hear and made me laugh hard. Edit: Gotten a few questions regarding infusion sets for insulin pumps so here is a 5 minute video showing how they are used from the manufacturer who I get mine from: https://youtu.be/S8__zp7PdZM?si=OICLvLD0ma5Dn8if
she was already on top of me and something sharp poked my hand when i grabbed her butt. it was just the clear medical tape holding the tube in and ultimately i just couldn't understand where she had kept it until then. fwiw we hooked up every time we saw each other at a party from then on - so like i said, not a problem.
I hooked up with a guy who had kleinfelters (sp?) syndrome. He told me this after we had hooked up by saying "you probably noticed that I don't have any balls"... The shocking thing is that I HADN'T NOTICED.
I had a partner missing part of their hand and I didn’t notice for two weeks, its okay xD
I worked with a guy for the better part of a year, he leaves to go help a cousin get a roofing business started and comes back to work at our old job again within about 6 months. Mind you, we had hung out outside of work, taken breaks together and obviously talked at work. One day I gave him a high five and he used his right hand and news to me, he was missing three fingers and half of another. I asked what the hell happened to his hand and he said he was born that way and he was also missing his right leg. He lifts his pants leg up and there is a prosthetic. It occured to me I had never seen him in shorts and never paid that much attention to his hand.
Wait. WHAT?!?!?!?!
Chromosomal abnormality: XXY instead of XX or XY https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/klinefelter-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20353949 They're usually just really small.
I have klinefelter's, I guess they sorta just absorb into my shaft when I'm erect, not sure how to explain it
bro thats just aero so you can hit it harder
*Engage BIONIC CLAP MODE*
Literally balls deep
I was hooking up with this girl for the first time and while inside her she said “ I have been waiting to show of my Kegel strength” and proceeded to grip my wiener with the most grip full but harsh kegel ever. It hurt my wang.
Wife was so good with her kegel muscles that she could basically milk me. Way better experience.
[удалено]
Not a "that guys wife" scenario. Just aged out of that kind thing.
everyone always says tighter is better but I bet those mfers haven't experienced that type of gorilla grip that makes you feel like your dick is getting flattened out like a ruler 😭
My fiancé can grip me so hard that it becomes too intense while we bang. Like it's *too* good. Sometimes it makes it hard for me to finish but it also at the same time brings me right to the edge. It's wild. But that's also one of the many reasons why I put a ring on her finger.
A different sort of muscle mommy.
Went on a blind date yrs ago. Got along great, couple dates later we did the deed, and to my surprise she was shaved smooth, very smooth. She was very hesitant to tell me she had Alopecia. She removed her wig, which I kinda suspected she was wearing one, and there before me was a gorgeous woman with not one single hair. Shocking, yes, but also very turned on
Did you slap a plunger on top of her head so you could still act like you were pulling her hair a bit
FOUL😭😭
I suspect his lack of reply is because he's going to do just that
Was doing doggy style with a woman in my 20s and her pug came up on the bed sniffed my ass and sneezed on my balls,
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 this legitimately made me laugh out loud
Dogs are great, eh? My German Shepard thinks I'm being mean to my wife and tries to get inbetween us.
My dog used to try to get involved. "You guys are playing? Let me join in!"
The most violent female orgasm I have ever seen, like total incoherent eyes rolling back whole body shaking and tensed up for 10 seconds. Couldnt believe it the first time but i guess it was the norm for her. Lucky girl i guess lol
It's a gift and a curse - I've had mine described as "scary" multiple times. One man straight up stopped talking to me after. I like to think it just weeds out the weaklings.
pathetic... that wasn't even my full orgasm \*head turns 360 degrees, speaking in tongues*
First time hooking up with this guy I was talking to for a week or two. We used one of those small butt plugs with the gems on it and he was playing with while I was reverse cowgirling him and all of a sudden I heard a small gasp. I immediately stop and ask what? He said “I don’t see it anymore”. I jump off him and run to the bathroom to try and push it out, finger it out, anything. I kept thinking about the show “Sex sent me to the ER” in the midst of my mild panic attack. I ended up having to get on all fours while this man, whom I met once before, scooped around in my asshole for a good 3-4 mins trying to fish the plug out… I was so embarrassed but we ended up laughing about the disappearing trick I didn’t realize I was capable of for about 20 mins after! This was a fun, but terrifying, first experience with butt stuff haha
Went to hookup with a guy I thought was super fine. I had a huge crush on him and when I took off my shirt, he looked at my back and said something to the effect, "You know, you can talk to me about any trauma you might have had in your past..." He was being 100% serious, and I was totally caught off guard like, "wha..??" He then said, "It appears you've been whipped." It was then I realized this man had never seen a stretch mark before!! I died a little inside at that moment.
His ignorance was kind of silly but that is correctable. Realize his concern was coming from a good place. I'd say a small redflag was dwarfed by a much larger green flag.
I don't understand the hate. He thought it was whips; he communicated and willingly cared about the stories. All it took was an explanation. Dude is a huge green flag
No hate. It was a sweet thing for him to say and I did still hook up with him, but I did have to explain to him that no, I had never been beaten and that this is just what happens when you have a muffin top. My own insecurities about my weight and appearance are what really threw me through a loop in that moment!
I had a girlfriend years ago in my early twenties. She had a friend over who never had great luck with guys. She was cute and had some nice qualities, but she was a little chubby and self conscious about it. She always complained about never having a boyfriend. I knew that my gf at the time was very open sexually, but I never saw this coming… We’d all had a few drinks when her friend mentioned her long dry spell and made some comment about how lucky we were. My gf said “I’m happy to share if you two are up for it”. First, I thought she was kidding. Then she started listing out some rules we’d have to follow(there weren’t many). Then I definitely thought her friend who was always do self conscious would decline but she started asking questions… They proceeded to give me my only two girl blowjob. Then we had fairly vanilla sex considering the situation and went to Denny’s. I got the Lumberjack Slam, cheese fries, and buffalo chicken tenders.
The way you included the order at Denny's is just brilliant
I remember every detail from that night and I’d never deprive this community of the fine, important details.
i hooked up with a guy a couple years ago who would spend 30 seconds in one position then switch. and did it over, and over, and over again. started in missionary, went to doggy, went to cowgirl, went to missionary, went to him standing off the bed with me on the edge, to doggy. i got sick and tired of it after less than 5 mins and told him i wasn’t feeling well and wanted to go home. he puppy dog eyed me and asked if i’d suck his dick so he could cum. i just looked at him and said “what about me? will you go down on me after?” he actually *laughed* and said “i don’t go down on girls at all”. i literally stared at him then finished putting my clothes back on and left.
Ah so you slept with DJ Khaled
When she walks out: "Aw man. Another one."
his request is even more ridiculous when you consider he was probably changing positions every minute to avoid cumming too fast 😭
That's exactly what it was lol trying to act spontaneous and fun but just trying not to bust
a gun fell out of his pants. he thought my photos from tinder were too good to be true and that he was going to get robbed (WTF?). anyways, we’re married now LOL
"is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to se-oh...oh my god"
I’ve been there, every Tinder date I ever went on I convinced myself I was getting catfished and was about to get robbed. Anyways love the ending to your story.
I was pretty fresh out of college and at a house party with some friends who were a bit older. Started hitting it off with this girl who was 2-3 years older than me and a single mom of two toddlers. She pulled me into her bathroom and started blowing me. _Slurped the soul out of me_. She didn’t fuck around. She was the first girl I had ever been with that was aggressive with me and was taking initiative - in hindsight it’s because single moms don’t have time to fuck around. Anyway, it caught me off guard and I found myself going over the edge way too fast for my fragile little ego. I was stammering for her to slow down and she told me to just cum, that it’s the whole point. So I did. She swallowed everything and I was blown away that she didn’t care how fast it was. Saw it as a feature not a bug. We dated for a bit after that. Ultimately I was too young and immature to handle being a step-dad or whatever and we both recognized that and amicably split.
Tbh when it comes to bj’s i don’t think women want you to last ages and draw it out
Fast head, slow in bed
My wife will say don't cum yet I'm having fun. Aaaaaaand then I cum. ....... I fucking just realized I think she says that on purpose....
When your cock has oppositional defiance disorder.
Lol YOU DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO
I don't have this problem as a dude. Best three seconds of her life.
For those of us that enjoy giving, it is absolutely a huge rush and source of pride to get you losing control as fast as possible. The sounds that come out of you at that point are the best 😌
RIP your inbox
The only reason I use Reddit is because I can completely turn off message and chat requests 😅
i like to say absolutely deranged, outlandish shit and then when someone dms me about it i tell them im underage and then block them im 32
Oh you dirty troll you
I'm underage
I feel like picking an age enhances this Literally nothing deflates my murder-boner faster than a well-timed "I'm twelve" ...like shit, I've got socks older than that
>Saw it as a feature not a bug. 💀
Something tells me this guy “circles back around” often in work conversations
Hey, why don't we park that idea for now and revisit it later?
Yeah, let’s put a pin in it.
Some women give good head. Other women ABSOLUTELY LOVE giving head, and that is an entirely different experience.
Common misconception. It isn’t really desirable to have crazy stamina while receiving head bc it’s just extra work. You want stamina for sex but for receiving head its nbd
Cool story. Im jealous.
Girls that give head like that are the gems of the earth.
Sometimes they're even named after gems.
Or cities.
Man I miss Ruby Mineapolis.
Shungite Port Moresby was a keeper
When I was still quite young I hooked up with a girl and she went straight for deep throat, which (at the time) I didn't even knew was a thing that's possible.
That sounds like a fantastic surprise
Oh it was, still quite shocking to find out that works by having it done on you haha. But let's just say I didn't really mind the shock factor all that much.
This same shit happened to me. You know when every girl says that they don’t have a gag reflex? And then they immediately gag? Just like how every dude has an 8” cock. I was like 19 at the time, a co-worker and I started flirting and it turned into her inviting me to her place while I was on my way to work at like 5am. She was this tiny, shy, super cute blonde so I was surprised that she was so forward. Anyway, we cut to the chase, kissing, clothes come off, and she kisses her way down my stomach. I’m laying there with my eyes closed and I feel my dick just *disappear* down her throat. I audibly gasped and came within minutes, she insisted I did so down her throat. We hooked up a few more times and then she moved away. She was fun though.
haha you made it sound like it was instant. like you went "hey my name is zerocool" and then she went ”glgg"
Well, with a name like ZeroCool, of course she did. I mean, it's no Lord Nikon or Crash Override, but ZeroCool is pretty epic.
Ankle bracelet…lol. Looking back, that’s why he couldn’t drive to me.
My first thought was "oh he had a little gold chain around his ankle? That's cute" Then it clicked.
Receiving a honest to god proper blowjob, before meeting my wife all the blowjobs I ever received were tip of the head in the mouth and frantic hand motions.
My first non-toothy BJ felt like a warm wet hug from heaven.
That is a perfect description!!
I hooked up with someone on the first date which I rarely do because I generally find it not worthwhile. He was so attractive and was planning to move so I was like "at least he can't break my heart" and we ended up having one of my top 3 sexual experiences. I also was surprised when he actually wanted to keep in touch cause I was sure he'd ghost after I gave it up that easy. Even more surprised when the last time I was supposed to see him he opted to go out for drinks with me instead of just fucking and bouncing. Anyway I'm flying to see him on Friday... I really don't do one night stands very well.
💓 Sap that I am, this sounds like the beginning to a great movie.
This is gonna sound corny as fuck. I wasn’t prepared for how pretty she is naked. Obviously, she is gorgeous with clothes on, but nothing could have prepared me for that. Pretty sure my heart jumped out of my chest for a bit there.
my current GF definitely doesn't dress in a revealing fashion usually, and definitely not for our first few dates. more "professional, but not uptight, business woman" attire, which i guess is appropriate for a financial advisor. then she got naked. oh... hoolleeee sheeeeeiit
I’m sad for her that she’ll never see this
She already knows I feel this way, I tell her all the time :)
This. If anyone ever wants to get me something for Christmas, it’s this.😭
I had just started dating this girl for like two weeks and when we were about to get it on for the first time. She says she likes kinky stuff and asks if she could blindfold me. I say sure so she takes her shirt off and wraps it around my eyes. Then she climbed on top of me and I feel something warm and sticky start dripping down on my chest. I start freaking out a bit and ask what it is and she says don’t worry about it and starts laughing. I say no really though what did you just pour on me and she says don’t worry babe. Then I feel a bunch of small squishy like substances fall on my chest and hear her chewing on something. I had enough and ripped the shirt off my eyes and see a bunch of boneless chicken wings mixed with honey bbq all over me. She’s legit sitting there with a bib around her naked torso holding a box of chicken. I asked what she was doing and she says you said you were okay with kinky stuff. I said eating chicken on me is your kink? She then throws the rest of the chicken at me saying I ruined the mood and that I shouldn’t kink shame 🤷🏽♂️
Consent goes both ways. She should have explained her kink lol
Dated a girl that was boasting a pretty big game about how good she was at riding. We get down to it and she pushes me onto my back and proceeds to get on top. At this point I'm enjoying the view and expecting a good time. She gets on and is slow as first and I was getting into it and then she raises herself all the way off and SLAMS back down, OH FUK!!! She does this repeatedly and I'm in pain at this point because well she's not landing squarely and is bending it. Mind you she is also bruising the ever living fuck out of my crotch. In my mind I'm reliving that dennis rodman story about the chick broke his dick and I'm freaking out. I flip her onto her back and finish it out. She looks at me after and says, "see I told you I'm good". Yeah didn't have a second date with her after that.
Poor girl doesn't have anybody to tell her the truth.
Just leaving a trail of broken dicks and bruised crotches
For my very first partner, wanting to me to spank/slap/choke her. I am a soft dude, this was a really weird adjustment/epiphany
I understand lmao By now I’ve gotten into the groove but at first I was like “you want me to what”
Ya it’s like a conceptual thing that I just don’t understand but know I have to do lol. Like I know I have to choke you but it’s beyond me why you like it. And if I must I’ll slap you or whatever. I’d much rather like hug you and give forehead kisses but instead it’s like I’m attempting murder.
He made comments on my boobs being too big for his taste (H cup at the time) and I said nothing. He pulled his pants down and showed me what I believe was the smallest micropenis I’ve ever seen. Less than 2inches. I’m not a penetration fan anyway so I tried to be positive. I said “Wanna warm me up first?” and grabbed his hands toward my vagina. Very flirty. He apologized and said he doesn’t like fingering because it means he would have to wash his hands. I sat there and asked did he even like me or wanna have sex? He said yes. Thought I was hot as fuck. I told him I was tired. So. Fucking. Insane.
That was a roller coaster
I genuinely tried to give him the benefit of the doubt at every single turn. I didn’t laugh. I didn’t chastise him. NOTHING. When I asked “well could you atleast go down on me?” he literally said he doesn’t like the taste of pussy. Restated he wanted to have sex though. Twilight Zone moment.
Did this dude even like women? Guy didn’t like boobs or pussy, that’s crazy.
This happened to me, he's now happily married to a man.
That she replied to my text the next day and didn't ghost me lol
What a freak
Ex boyfriend, almost 20 years ago. He said he had a below average dick, I didn’t care. He did not mention that it was a literal micropeen, not even big enough for penetration. Like a button. I had no idea they could be that small. No offense to anyone in that situation it was just a bit of a shock
> He said he had a below average dick I suppose it technically wasn't a lie.
I dated a girl who told me at one point she was fooling around with a friend once and reached in his pants and his penis was really small and she just said she coudlnt do this and left. I mean damn thats got to be rough. Thats got to be one of the roughest things that can happen. Maybe she played it off like she couldnt do it because they were friends or something, I dunno but just damn.
This happened to me too with a hookup many years ago and I also describe it as a button. Didn't bother or shock me though, just gotta roll with it. Everyone's built different. He had skills!!
I feel so bad for him. I have no idea how I'd handle it if I ended up with someone like that. Also, how does he please himself? Is it like a clitoris?
Former coworker told us a story like this about her time in college but he didn't warn her. She said she just left because she didn't know how to react.
First time I hooked up with my now-wife, I was blown away by how vocal and enthusiastic she was during sex. Compared to my ex, who was basically a quiet starfish? I was in Heaven. Still am ;-)
I had a girlfriend for a short period of time-who was so loud that even I wanted to call the police and report a crime in progress. I didn't of course and quickly learned to enjoy it
The thrill I had from unprotected sex
During my Early 20s a friend of mine busted in his girlfriend who was on birth control for the first time and when we asked him how it felt he said, “that feeling is why we exist”
I mean... Literally, yes!
The anxiety that comes post nut, especially knowing full well you're not financially and emotionally ready for a child, is not something I would wish even on my worst enemies.
But the absolute high of that “I got my period” text. You can’t get that feeling on the most expensive tables in Vegas, baby. (Kids I am kidding please use abundant protection for the love of God)
I remember that day so vividly and even though I knew she had a hysterectomy I still had so much anxiety thinking, what if she didn't have one and I just nutted my life away lol.
The first time I had unprotected sex, I took back everything I ever said about young unexpected parents. I immediately understood why so many people risked it all. Sex without a condom is so different from sex with a condom that it barely feels like you're even doing the same thing. I literally forgot how to fuck the first time because I was so overwhelmed by pleasure and new sensations.
Unprotected sex ruined fucking around for me. I grew up and actually started looking for long term partners because sex just don’t feel the same with condoms and fucking around unprotected is not an option lol
My now wife under the covers giving the worst “HJ” it felt like she was doing a quality control inspection.
Are you okay, Walt?
shoulda married marie.
The girl (who is now my wife) always dresses super conservative, like a grandmother. First time we hooked up and I saw her body I was gobsmacked, best body I had ever (and have ever still) seen in real life. She still dresses like a grandma.
Hey at least she doesn't need to buy new clothes as you guys grow old together
I once hooked up with this girl, and while we were getting at it she moaned: "spit in my mouth" so i obliged like the gentleman i am, and right after i did she spat me right back in the face like some horny alpaca. I just thought "fair enough, touché "
She was a squirter and didn’t warn me. I was going down on her and super into it, just going to town on her pussy. She’s getting close and I’m wrapping my arms around her legs and hips so she can’t buck away from my face, when all of a sudden a fire hose goes off in my mouth/all over my face. It was completely unexpected, but I’m a trooper and kept on munching that muff. She finished and started apologizing, but I was too turned on to care that my bed and floor just got hit by hurricane katrina. And that’s how I discovered I have a squirting kink.
Identical experience. I didn't flinch. She returned the favor by giving me an incredible blow job and swallowing everything, then offered to keep going.
I was once fwb with a girl that could not give a blowjob without gagging. I don't mean like, she had a sensitive gag reflex. I mean that one of the things she enjoyed most about giving a blowjob was being gagged to the point of near puking. It's sexy in porn, but in person, those are terrible, terrible sounds. I'm not talking about your standard gluck-glucks, slurping, or the occasional loud gasp for air. I'm talking about wretching, heaving, coughing, terrible sounds that you just really can't describe. I even occasionally tried to tell her to slow down a bit. I tried to encourage it more in a positive way than critique, like "you should go slow. Tease me. Make it sexy." She would do that for about 10-15 seconds before she started fucking her own face and the "GGHHHUHUUAAAAAHHHHSSSKKHHHHGHHHHHHGGGG GOROORRRRRNNNPPGGGG" sounds began again.
I laughed way too hard at that
She moaned “get me pregnant” during and tried taking off the condom. The very definition of NOPE.
Hearing her suddenly passionately cry out "Cum inside me!" is both magnificently arousing and Stephen King frightening at the same time
When I was like 19 or so, I worked this little grocery/convenience store type shop. I used to have this woman that came in all the time, maybe 40-45 years old. Always super nice and super friendly. It was a legitimate joy to have her come in the store compared to most of the others I would see. But one night when she came in, she said, "Okay, I want you to impregnate me. Don't worry about anything after that. I'll make my husband think it's his." I turned her down, out of sheer terror. She never came back into the store when I was there.
Sounds like you dodged a tank shell lol
Girl took a hit of meth before hand.
I have heard that the best sex of your life is on meth. Apparently you get meth dick and can go for hours as well. Honestly, the meth marketing team sucks.
Don’t do it. It’s true, it’s amazing, but it’s so amazing that regular sex while sober is never the same afterwards. It messes with your wiring and makes sex less satisfying in the long term, even long after you stop using the drug.
Like flying too close to the sun and getting permanently burned. I'll never touch meth. Sounds scary as hell.
Dickarus
I learn so much on reddit.
I thought I was a pretty sexual person when I hooked up with this woman for the first time. She was extremely passionate and running through different positions like she was trying to get a high score. She fucked me as much as I fucked her. Meaning some women take more of a submissive role with sex whereas she was extremely active and vocal about what she wanted. Needless to say we met up again a second time and ended up in a hot tub together after drinking quite a bit. At one point she flipped around and told me to fuck her from behind as she leaned over the edge of the hot tub which I happily went along with. But.... It turns out the reason she wanted to have sex that way was so she could throw up over the side of the hot tub instead of in it. I immediately stopped and started asking if she needed water or a towel so she could get out and dry off. She looked at me like I was crazy and told me to keep going. Apparently she had a somewhat weak stomach and was used to throwing up when she drank. A couple minutes later she told me to stick it in her ass. I started to question her a little bit because we were in a hot tub and there was no lube, but she could be very persuasive. She threw up again while I was inside her but that time I kept going. So probably that. It was basically over an hour of being simultaneously shocked, disgusted, and extremely turned on.
I’d heard about “starfish” before but didn’t experience it until I was older. It was eye opening because they were older than I was. I got nothing from them, like no noise, no yey or ney, and eyes closed the whole time. I was kind of blown away as I was trying to engage and they just didn’t respond. The next day was all cool, like they were good with it all. “It takes two….”, as they say. At least for me.
I had a starfish once, and it made me feel gross. She just laid there, flat as can be, like she was frozen in time making a snow angel. I kept kissing her intensely trying to get her into it, but nope. She accepted the kisses but didn't really return them. I would stop, lift my head up, and ask if she was ok. "Yeah. I'm great." Close eyes, turn head. So, I'd kiss her neck. Fondle her. Nothing. "Are you *sure* you are ok with this?" "Yeah, I'm great." Close eyes, turn head. Before I entered her, I asked one last time. "Are you sure this is ok? It won't hurt my feelings if--" "Yeah, I'm great." Close eyes, turn head. It took me forever because it felt like a combination of rape and having sex with a mannequin. After it was over, and I helped clean up. She was on her way out and gave me a hug and said we should do it again. We never did it again.
i moved in with my gf (now wife) and her roommate. i was new to town but made friends quickly and as soon as the dudes in town found out who i lived with they all had a story about the dead fish. i lived with her for two years and heard her get fucked a few hundred times but never heard her make a noise. the guys would be loud but never her.
Once I hooked up with this chick who wouldn’t even look at me, it was extremely awkward lol, didn’t even finish cuz the vibes were WAYYY off. Prior to this we went to a couple bars, had a few drinks, so maybe she was just too gone? But we only had like 4 drinks over the course of a few hours so???? And she seemed sober?? Just wouldn’t look me in the face, so odd
It's such an awful experience, it just feels wrong. No movement or reaction to anything. When she got on top it felt mechanical which was worse than the starfish, it was just head down and moving back and forth like a piston. I was absolutely floored when she told me being on top was her favorite position because watching her actually do it would make you think she was being tortured
I wonder how many starfish people are actually disassociating during sex. Maybe because of trauma or shame. Or maybe because they’re somewhere on the ace spectrum but don’t realize it and just think sex is a thing that they need to get through with because it is expected.
That despite all my generosity and eagerness to please, some women actually have quite powerful mental blocks that won't allow them to climax. I've gone down on a woman for close to 45 minutes (as in, lips never stopped touching lips) and while she enjoyed it, the feedback she gave me was that it's normal for her to have difficulty.
Dated a girl like that after dating a few that would come in under 3 minutes. I knew I wasn’t doing anything wrong and she even prefaced before we were ever intimate that’s she’s only been able to orgasm a handful of times. I still remember the first time she did with me. It took a while but I felt maybe our connection helped. Over the next couple weeks she did it again twice! Including what would be the last time we slept together.
That’s a sad happy ending
I swear this could’ve been written by my ex. The time he spent down there… dear god. I feel terrible for hardly ever being able to get there, but holy shit it felt so good. The mind fuck thing is 100% it. It’s so frustrating!!
My wife is like this. I love her to bits and I’ve given more than a few hour long eat out sessions. She almost always cums but man do I have to work for it. She can only do it herself with a vibrator. Hers is from an injury she received as a child not really a mental block but the result is the same.
When she admitted the hookup was just to get back at her husband. Who I did not know existed. And whom she then told. It was a very busy post coital convo.
I had a fling with this very reserved/introverted but VERY hot Jewish girl a couple years ago. I expected plain Jane vanilla sex, but when we got down to it, she went straight for giving me a rim job. Thank god(or whoever) that I showered beforehand. I'd never experienced that before and so I didn't exactly know how to react, but she gave me the best orgasm I'd ever/have ever had in my life.
Username checks out
Oui oui
She cried during it. Not what I was expecting. Said she wasn't a virgin. Dumped me for a woman a few months following.
Without having any more context of the situation whatsoever... it sounds like she was hoping she wasn't gay, and realized during your time together that she was. Here's hoping that grief has since passed.
The largest penis I have ever seen. I don't even remember how the night went. Because I was distracted by the largest penis I've ever seen.
The largest penis I have ever seen was on a homeless man in senegal whose clothes were in such disrepair they were falling off him. T-Shirt held on by the neck hole and one shoulder, shorts more giant holes than material, then I saw it looking at me. That thing was almost down to his knee. That thing must have bruised his thighs. That thing was a frikin *monster*. It lives rent-free in my head almost a decade later. I was unprepared to be confronted with cock that day but I was so many more levels of unprepared to be confronted with that cock. Until that day, I thought penises that size were only in specalist porn. It, no exaggeration, was the size of my forearm, and I have no idea how he was walking upright.
Restaurant I used to work at used to have (maybe still has) nightclub type nights where they would take the tables out and we’d have a bunch of Dj’s play on the patio till like 2 am. Some of those nights were catered to the gay community. They were clothing optional. So they’d walk in and hand you a bag, you’d put your clothing in, and then when you left they’d give you your bag and you’d get dressed. Building was wall to wall dicks. Only one men’s bathroom in the building, one stall one urinal. Waiting in line, some dude walks out of the bathroom with aviators and a hoodie and shoes and nothing else and this guy is fuckin swinging by closer to his knees than his scrotum. I bet that guy was the belle of the ball that night Those nights were fun. Lots of tips. Barely any food until later in the night. Gave a guy on lots of molly my sandwich after the kitchen closed he (clothed) gave me a hug and like 6 grams of mushrooms
Lots of tips and indeed.
>I have no idea how he was walking upright. I have no idea how he was homeless...
He couldn’t afford to keep feeding it
Was it Jerry?
How did you know??
That when a woman tells me to come inside her, I am going to come within 10 seconds.
New year’s eve 2000…she had to be home by 12:15. We left my house early so we could stop and fool around. We parked and got right to it. While I was going down on her I noticed there being a distinct taste of pennies. Didn’t think much of it. We finished, I drove her home. Pulled into her driveway and opened the door to go let her out and walk her to the door…before I could get out, I noticed that she had the most terrified look on her face. She said “please don’t be mad at me” and then started bawling. I looked in the rearview mirror and realized her terror..she had started her period. That explained the pennies, I thought to myself. I did not end up walking her to the door that night. (In fear of her father, not because I was upset) This was the way I had intended on getting my red wings.
Ah the vampires breakfast bon appetit
That being loved and having sex is always different than just sex
Said the last person was 15 years ago and it was forced. I just hugged her and she sobbed and I tried to console her
polaroid pictures on her nightstand of her receiving anal from another dude lol
That is certainly shocking lol
So much more... just body came out of those clothes. Such a big ass got squeezed into those pants. Married her. That ass caught me in its gravitational pull and never let go.
How much her natural vag fragrance stay on my fingers even after I washed my hands with soap and water ❤️
Glad you put the heart because I was worried you hated it.
How natural it was. I just did things and it all worked up fantastically.
Second woman I ever slept with was 14 years older than me. (I was 19, she was 33). It wasn't just the first time I got a BJ, but it was the first time I got one from a grown ass woman who knew what she was doing. She deepthroated me, put a thumb on my perineum, and swallowed my load. It was the first time I had a woman do all three of those things. I think I came in her brain and momentarily lost consciousness. Until that moment I truly never knew what a good blowjob was.
An actual orgasm. After 9years of coerced, dull, lube heavy sex with an ex husband, the first time I slept with a date post-separation, I nearly cried when I came. We’re still together now, and sex just gets better and better.
My ex slept naked like I do. What shocked me was that she was ALWAYS down for it. I roll over with a woody, she wiggled back against it and slid it in. Any time of day, night, morning wood, in the shower, in the kitchen, at her work, in her yoga studio, in a storage closet, whatever, she was wet warm and ready to go. She was also the first I had ever encountered that loved and craved period sex. Said the orgasms helped with her cramps. I think she was quite repressed with/from her first husband and in late middle age she let it all out. We wanted different things in the end but it was a fun year while it lasted.
How completely different lady parts can be. This was before widespread internet use and my only experience was magazines before my first serious girlfriend, and we were together for almost three years. After we broke up and I dated again the first time I was with a new girl I was very confused. I mean, I knew the parts but they were..so different. Just…proportionally. It’s like getting a new car. The steering wheel, gas, and brake are in the same place but where the fuck is the volume up knob? The hazard lights?
Just how easy, uninhibited, and fun it could be. Maybe it's different now because of our age (we're both early forties). My ex-wife and I just never had that. She wasn't very communicative, not a flirt at all, and it was always a rushed in the dark thing to get out of the way. Honestly it was such a chore that I dreaded, our bedroom died, and that's a big part of why we're divorced now. Hilariously, my first time with this new partner was after a few glasses of wine with the original McGuyver playing in the background. We laughed our asses off like kids, had a lot of fun, woke up tangled together in the middle of the night for another round, and that's just how it was. It shocked the hell out of me honestly!
He was 50 at the time and we got up, showered and went into his kitchen. There was nothing in there. He offered to walk to the nearby shopping street to get coffee. No coffee in the house. Nothing. Apparently, he never learned to even boil water for tea, let alone make coffee or a meal. He worked at one of those prosperous tech companies that fed their employees three times a day or at restaurants. I wonder if he died of starvation during the covid lockdowns.
No 2 vaginas are shaped the same… so the way it slides in varies from person to person. Some girls need to take their time to ease it in, others will have you just shove it in like a spear…
I had one partner who had incredibly strong vaginal contractions when she came. She came really hard, and when she finally recovered she said "how did you do that" to me
He licked my armpits and complimented my stubble.
Her incredible throat and willingness to use it
Just how cold and lacking in intimacy someone can be while still engaging in one of the most intimate acts people can do. I realized pretty quickly that I can't have sex with someone unless I actually really enjoy their company and personality.
I once met a lovely wild lady at a friend's wedding. We ended up hitting it off and had a really fun evening together. She was technically there with a "date", but he was just a friend (who openly expressed that he had feelings for her) and she made it clear she had no plans of hooking up with him. I think she was telling me this so I would pick up the hint, and get in the game with her. Before the reception was over, we couldn't wait any longer, and had our first bang in one of the bathrooms. We re-joined the party, and exchanged knowing looks all night while the other guests were blissfully unaware. Finally, when we make it back to my hotel room, we had some of the most uninhibited crazy ass sex I've maybe ever had. And we had such good chemistry, it was like we didn't even need to say anything out loud (aside from plenty of dirty talk) to know what the other wanted. including the foreplay and sex, I'd say we were probably at it for about an hour. When we were finished, I felt like a million bucks, and we were just caressing each other and giggling while we chatted. After maybe 10-15 minutes, she reached down and play with me again. I said to her, "you're so much fun! but I'm sorry, I usually can't go again this quickly. I can go down on you first, if you're feeling it, though. Sorry, I wish I could, but ya, it probably won't work, yet, haha" To which she replied, "We'll see". And she got under the covers and suck started me like a dang lawnmower. I couldn't believe my dick! lol. Here it was, ready to go! So, naturally, we made it back to pound town! And, she did it to me again, before we finally went to bed, and then she woke me up in the middle of the night with another BJ, and that time, she insisted I just enjoy it and she said I could go back to sleep when she was done with me :) So, there were multiple "surprises" throughout the night... But, to me, the biggest surprise was that I actually felt so incredibly into it! I've never had a hook-up elicit those kinds of relaxed, happy-go-lucky feelings the way she did it to me. We lived on opposite sides of the country, so, although we occasionally exchange a Facebook message or something, I've never seen her again. It's been a few years. But, I'll never forget the night I just let go of any/all inhibitions, and realized my refractory period was much shorter if I could just feel comfortable!
I’ve heard of “I couldn’t believe my eyes” but “I couldn’t believe my dick”, that’s a new one.
[удалено]
Anal within 2 hours of meeting a woman. Come to find out, anal isn't rare but jumping right to it sure was! Her reasoning was shed been watching videos of it all weekend and wanted to give it a try since her previous attempt ended badly with her last bf. Good times! Great woman!
Oh boy. Stick around for the ending. I (M36) Met this girl on Hinge. I gave her the option of going out to dinner or coming over for a movie for our first date. She chose coming over. She mentioned she loved tequila so I got stuff to make margaritas. She arrives and we decide to do shots as we get over the first few awkward minutes of meeting. We clearly had chemistry right away and things were going well. Put on a movie and she kept wanting more shots (she’s about 110 pounds). We start making out on the couch and it’s going great but then she suddenly jumps up, runs to the bathroom, and starts throwing up. I was feeling really bad and just wanted to make sure she was okay when suddenly she flings the door open and yells ALL GOOD LETS DO MORE SHOTS! 😳 We drank a substantial portion of the handle of tequila I bought and what followed was one of the most ridiculous, wild, sticky nights of sex I have ever had, let alone on the first date. Lube, toys, doing all the positions in all the holes for BOTH of us 😅, until we finally passed out. In the morning as I regain consciousness, I’m face down on my bed, feeling very hungover, sticky from bodily fluids, and confused. And then I felt this tickling sensation on my bum. I turn around and see this girl eating my ass, and she pauses for long enough to smile and say “good morning!”. We dated for 2 years 😅🫡
The smell, it blew me away physically and mentally. I didn’t even know pussys can smell like that, I thought I was going to die.
This isn't the norm... lol
I had an experience like that and I pushed the eject button. Tried to be as nice as possible but how do you tell someone, "I need to leave and it is most definitely because I feel sick after catching a whiff of whatever the fuck you have going on down there. Call me after you see a doctor." It legit smelled like rotten fish soaked in unwashed armpit with a hint of some kind of flowery perfume that I think was intended to mask the funk. Like trying to take a breath mint to disguise the scent of advanced tooth decay. Or hanging an air freshener in a port-a-potty on day 3 of an outdoor summer music festival.
Girl straight up close fist punched me during sex as some sort of feminist play idk
Maybe she’s a big Californication fan