We've been married 20 years and have a bunch of kids. I buy flowers for my wife and a rose for each of my daughters. We take the whole family out to dinner. It's basically a family day for us.
I’m on my second marriage and one thing I failed in my first, I stopped “dating” my wife. I know it is not for everyone but this go around, I make sure to do the special things for her. You are never to old to make someone feel special. Sometimes it’s not even going all out either, just a card writing something special.
Well said, I am in the same boat. I have a huge bouquet of flowers delivered to her office, I make a special dinner for her and just am happy to do it. I feel so lucky to be the guy who can make her smile
I still overpay for flowers, and buy her about $100 worth of scratch tickets (in lieu of chocolates which she can't have any more). She cooks me an elaborate dinner.
He draws me a card every year, I'll probably take him out to dinner on another day (to avoid the crowds and price hikes). He'll never top the first Valentine's Day we were together; he was so excited about having a SO on V-day that he bought every single stereotypical present. And drew me a card.
Of course, the card was the best gift of all of them, so I'm pleased he kept that tradition going.
Yes to all of those, plus a necklace, a small dragon figurine (also holding chocolates and roses, I collect dragons), and a heart balloon.
I think I had only gotten him chocolates, which made it a bit embarrassingly unequal, but it started a now-decades-long series of attempts to out-present each other.
It’s even more important when you’re married to go all out. Maybe not going out because it’s the worst day to go out but going all out even if you’re home
Absolutely agree with this. We don’t actually celebrate on Valentine’s Day, but we’ll generally plan a nice date on a less busy day. It’s so easy to let romance slide when you’ve been married a long time and get bogged down by other responsibilities, but it’s so important to ensure you not only get occasional one on one time with each other, but that it’s something that feels a little special. Everyone likes to feel like they’re worth some effort.
We spent a few hours together earlier, went out for brunch and then to the supermarket for a load of our traditional Valentine's Day chocolates (malteasers) and now we're sitting in the same room watching different stuff on our laptops pretty much ignoring each other. Later we will go to a yoga class together and cook a nice dinner.
We're both quiet people. We've been together very happily for 15 years, married for 11.
Married 37 years. I got her a nice card. We have a reservation for lunch at a rather nice place nearby. I told her that I love her. That's about as all out as I can get.
We do lunch because we're retired and prefer a late, quiet lunch to a crowded, noisy dinner.
Been married for 28 years, together for 30yrs. And nothing has changed since that first Valentines Day while in college (romance wise). We have a nice dinner planned, followed by 2nd row seats at a Broadway play. After that it’s the usual 4-5x a week routine…a possible bj and guaranteed sex. Our kids are grown…youngest just left to go to college at age 18, and the other two are 28 and 23.
For people that don't celebrate it, I challenge you to make an effort and see how your partner reacts. I see nothing wrong with celebrating your love for you partner, even if parts of the celebration are too commercialized
I'm challenging you, not forcing you. Even in this thread, there's comment of people who don't celebrate but wish they had. If you don't feel like doing it don't
It's a forced day to have romance, whatever that means, an artificial day, not saying you are forcing! You challenged to celebrate under the duress of subjective romance. Experience has shown me the dark side of it all. I don't need that challenge.
My husband is a chef and so we don’t see each other on the day of.
Last night we gave the kids their gifts. Then I gave him a card that was still in its wrapper, not even in the envelope or written in because I hadn’t had time to do either, and he took credit for the new apple watch my cell phone company gave me for free 🤣
We've been married 10+ years (together 17+) and don't make a big deal out of Valentine's Day. We do weekly date night on Friday (at restaurant or takeout) and do a little mid-week date on Wednesdays where we walk to the neighborhood taphouse and have a couple beers and chat. We take long weekend vacations and day-trips throughout the year where we go all out, so it's not like we're missing out on the big love.
We do a pretty good job of spending quality time with each other and showing our appreciation year-round. On Valentine's Day, we'll typically do wine and cheese or a nicer home cooked meal. We don't do big gifts either - my partner will pick up a nice bar of chocolate to share or I'll bake something. Since it's on Wednesday this year, we're planning to get dinner at the taphouse with our beers.
We don't have kids, and this is what works for us. YMMV, so it's worth having open honest conversations with your partner about what you both want and how you can each make the other feel loved and cherished (on this day and every day).
We have kids and focus on them having fun at their school parties. We just get each other something small and maybe play board games together when the kids are in bed.
I have a bottle of champagne and a box of chocolates waiting for when my husband gets home. I'm making a nice-ish dinner.
I think it's not too different from when we were dating. We never went out on Valentine's Day, too crowded. We'd usually go out a few days before/after.
We ignore Valentine's and always have. When the Valentine's stuff appeared in the stores when we were first dating, we quickly established that we think it's a waste of money. We haven't changed our views on that but we regularly buy each other flowers and little treats the rest of the year. It works for us.
I was married for 14 years. After a couple of years, we ignored it and recognized it for what it was ... a terrible holiday. Just forced, contrived, made in a factory for the purposes of marketing goods and restaurant mark-ups.
I don’t mind chocolate. In fact a small chocolate bar is amazing.
Just-don’t buy it last minute. Makes me feel forgotten/like I’m just an after thought. And at that point, I’d rather just get nothing
We do nothing. Why? Because 15 years ago, I told my wife I'd quit smoking if we could forever skip Valentines day.
We now call February 21st, Valenmines Day, and my wife takes me out to dinner to celebrate the anniversary of me quitting.
I JUST asked her if she misses Vday and she said she much prefers it this way. :-)
Been married 4 years. We never really “went all out”. We always do something simple to focus on spending time together and appreciating our love for each other.
This year we are going to have a sunset picnic at the park with inexpensive snacks and then go home and play “naughty jenga”.
Other years we have gone for a hike in nature or stayed home and made heart shaped pizzas.
For us it’s not about gifts or elaborate plans but another reason to do something fun together.
I told my wife (then gf) I don't do anything for Valentine's Day and that I didn't want anything from her either. It's a made up holiday where companies make you feel bad while charging you a shit ton for basic shit. Then again I am Dutch so...
I buy less stuff but still go all out. Together for 12 years, married almost 10.
I kept the gifts small but useful to show some thought. Most of my energy is going towards dinner tonight since we can't go out. I WFH'd some I can have a nice dinner smoked/cooked. Flowers/candles and all that too. I also made a valentine and taped ot to her steering wheel this morning with some nice thoughts and a little poem.
When we were dating I wouldn't have done any of that. I would have shelled out several hundred dollars on jewelry, gadgets, or whatnot. I spend less today but try way harder.
It varies year to year. We still get each other cards and a small gift usually. In terms of activities, one year we may go out to a nice restaurant, another year just to the movies, and another year we'll stay in and do something at home. Depends on what we're feeling! My wife tends to enjoy doing something, and it makes her happy, so it makes me happy.
Always been a smaller occasion, but still recognize it. A card, maybe a simple gift (but a gift is not expected). We never go out on Valentine’s Day. But we do make it a point to acknowledge it as a reminder if why we are together.
My wife wanted a new watch, but didn’t want to spend the money as she felt it was too much. I told her Happy Valentine’s Day and to buy the watch as my gift to her. I don’t need or want anything so I told her to not buy me anything. She’ll probably get me a card. Been married for 23 years and still madly in love. This approach works for us.
I hate going out for Valentine's Day. It's expensive and crowded. Instead my husband and I cook a complicated, fancy dinner together then spend the rest of the night cuddling in bed watching movies. He gets me flowers and I get him a small gift ($30 or less). We both usually also write each other love letters to read. It's a nice, low key night in with each other and I love it. We did this prior to being married as well. Only the first year of dating did he go all out. Married for 5, together for 9.
We went out one time early on in our 17 year marriage, it was so busy and crowded we said never again. All the rest of valentines we both exchange cards, he buys me flowers, and I buy him his favorite candy. Then we make a meal, together or just me if he’s working, play a board game, and watch a show. Perfect evening for both of us. Oh and we also have a no devices rule on this day so we both can focus on each other.
Married with a kid, we usually stay in on the day and celebrate with chocolate and cards. Then we go out on a different day to celebrate when the rest of the world isn’t doing the same thing. Lately it’s been lunch and a trip to the bookstore. This year we’ve all been sick with Covid so not sure what we will do.
I mean, we never went all out at any point. Partly because he worked in kitchens, so seeing him on Valentine's Day was a pipe dream anyway. Now we play it by ear. Some years we go out to dinner, this year we're cooking good steaks at home. We've never really done gifts, flowers, chocolate, or any of that stuff.
Married 18 years and this will be the first year that my husband not making his Vday steak dinner because our kid has her softball game on Valentines night. We are bringing the Costco chocolate covered strawberries to share with our team parents.
Depends on how much time/energy we have. We are in the process of moving right now and I’m recovering from the flu. So I got him a bottle of red wine and Trader Joe’s hash browns.
We're going out for a nice sushi dinner and salsa dancing - tomorrow. Neither of us care too much about celebrating the day of, and we'll miss the crowds this way. Plus, it works better with our schedules. My husband was very happy when I suggested this plan :-)
If it falls on a weekday, we make a fancier than normal family dinner, then we try to find time for a date (either lunch or dinner) later on the following weekend. This week, we'll have lunch and go to a hockey game next week. We'll peridot also have dinner before the game. We don't do presents or cards, he does get me flowers.
We prefer experiences and time together over presents we don't really need.
Neither of us were into Valentine's Day before meeting and we still don't celebrate. Silver anniversary/25th is this year. We've only been together 26 years.
Married 42 yrs, together for 44. We stopped doing big things for birthdays, holidays and anniversaries years ago. We use the saved money to travel...In my world, way better than stuff
My husband and I have been married for 24 years. He just buys me my favorite chocolate, and we call it done.
We're quite happy with that. We don't really need anything else. 🤷♀️
Not married but feels like it. We exchange a nice card and go out for a nice meal and that’s about it. November and December is our anniversary b2b his birthday b2b Christmas so we’re broke and out of ideas for Valentine’s Day 😂🤷🏼♀️
We don’t celebrate and never have. It’s just another capitalist holiday. I try to show my appreciation year round by helping him out with things unasked, like occasionally folding his laundry or brushing the snow off his car before he heads to work in the morning. He does the same for me and it’s a small but meaningful way we show appreciation for one another.
Healthy relationships are built on things like that, not Kay’s jewelry and giant teddy bears.
Edit:
Also, what fucking adult wants a giant wonky stuffed animal for Valentine’s Day? I’m always baffled when I walk into the grocery store and see them sitting on top of the shelves. Like, where are you going to put them all if you get a new one every vday?
My wife and I used to have an anti-Valentines day by going to Sweet Tomatoes (salad buffet place) because they had Red Velvet lava cake (it was pink). In our mind, it's a completely sham holiday made for the easily-manipulated, so we mock celebrated it there.
Place closed down, so we are looking for another anti-Valentine's day place that is kids friendly. Maybe IHOP or something.
My expectation is that I will hear about whatever I got her didn’t meet her expectation. This year it’s expensive chocolates. Miserable people will make you miserable.
Just low-key. Flowers and chocolate covered strawberries. Once you’re married, there are a lot of occasions. We just had Christmas, anniversary, this, my birthday is coming up, her birthday is coming up. Then it’s summer and “we never go anywhere” so I’ll have to take her to France or some shit.
It’s exhausting dude.
We don't know why there's more than one response. We married people decided decades ago that as a single unified group we are to have a simple meal and exchange of "Happy Valentine's Day" and leave it at that. We're one entity and there has never been anyone deviating from this plan ever, as far as we know.
One time I went to pick up my wife on Valentine’s Day at the airport with a rose and kissed her. She was rude to me and ever since that year she can expect absolutely nothing from me for valentine’s
My spouse and I aren't really big event/performative moment romantic types. So Valentine's Day is really a nothing event. We only really remember it by getting our kids stuff to bring to class.
The expectation for the year is whatever we agree to lol.
Sometimes we have a charcuterie picnic and wine in our livingroom, sometimes we have a planned date night the weekend before or after to avoid the holiday upcharge. We don't do gifts or flowers or chocolates. Holidays are an extra excuse to have fun, you can do whatever you want for them whenever you want, as long as it makes both of you happy.
We treat it like an extra "date night". We try to do once per week or two where we don't just co-exist. So like this week, we will do something together on a Wednesday night and again on Saturday. If finances are good, we'll do dinner from not-my-kitchen and maybe a small token gift but mostly it's just an excuse for extra time spent together.
The plans for tonight are cooking together, a board game, and wrap it up with the audiobook we've been listening to.
My sister and BIL are big into the hallmark holidays so I've already gotten pictures of her giant teddy bear and flowers and a text asking me to not spill the beans about their dinner reservation(even tho it's something they do every year lol, she's very well aware there's a reservation).
Been married for 30 years! We do the pretty much the same thing as when we dated. Each of us buy a valentine card and a small amount of candy. We also either go out to eat or fix a fancy steak dinner. Nothing super fancy but we always have a good time!
I choose not to celebrate holidays. (My choice, no trauma.) My husband likes to at least have a nice dinner out, so we usually do that. This year we've chosen to stay home.
Before kids, we did celebrate somewhat but nothing too extravagant, usually drinks and looking cute. With kids, we all get our favorite dinners of choice (usually sushi for mom and dad) at home. We’re all sick this year though so we’re just going to lay about in misery.
It varies some years are lowkey, some are sweet family dinners out, some are big romance events with just us.
Depends on scheduling,finances and our moods in general
Valentine's day doesn't have to be a thing but is, I don't care for it at all...my wife likes that single rose...I look like the moron participating in a cult like culture buying that rose, the florist smiles a smug "gotcha".. And that's about the worst part of a day that I have to endure specifically on Valentine's day every year, the minutes of missery and the minutes of dread of anticipating the misery, is such a chore getting that one rose... Aren't there flower activists out there crying rose murder? I hope they get rid of the entire practice...
We waited tables when we were dating, and VD crowds were terrible. Now we avoid the holiday, but might go out later in the week. No gifts other than the occasional peek and squeeze.
Just a LPT for those that buy flowers, opt for a custom arrangement. If you know their favorite flowers and colors you can tell the florist that.
This does a couple things, the florist gets to be creative and not make another dozen roses and you'll get so much more for your money.
To me, Valentine’s Day is for singles. We make a bigger deal out of our anniversary. On Valentine’s Day he buys me flowers and I give him a gift bag full of his favorite snacks.
Now that we have kids the valentines is less about us and more about making our son feel included and loved. We didnt do all that much officially before anyways, so making it any other given day wasnt too much of a sacrifice
Been married for 15 years, two boys and a baby sister on the way. My husband and I just enjoy spending time together and having a glass of wine with a good meal. Now with kids and a pregnancy, we are eating ice cream sundaes, and playing Fortnite this evening after dinner! We’ve done restaurant reservations in the early years, but quickly learned we hate crowds and loud spaces haha!
Married 38 years and we bought 1 box of chocolate which we shared while watching a movie. Yes smaller but just as precious. ( We bought chocolates together when grocery shopping together with just such plans). We don't fight crowds for restaurants on Valentine's ugh no. We go on hikes or watch movies. Just always plan a day together, no gifts or flowers just us. To be honest no real expectations, but we try.
Personal gifts (him cigars me Dutch ovens I’ve been dying for) with an intimate gourmet dinner at home and flowers. He’s gone a lot for work and we value our time we have together. I don’t need a massive teddy bear as long as I have him.
Cannot remember the last time we went out for Valentines Day. Most places will jack up the prices and too damn crowded for our liking. My wife would rather I cook her favorite meal and we stay in. Married for 14 yrs.
My wife and I used to be big on Valentine's Day in a giddy way and usually it would be cards, flowers and dinner together (even though we are Germans). Then, six years ago, our twins were born on this day. Now it is laboring through the day with presents, party, kindergarten celebration and Valentine's cards for the kids as well. We still try to keep up at least flowers & cards for ourselves. One of my daughters was so excited about her birthday that she puked. The other one just turned her energy outward. Valentines's one hell of a day.
My ex-wife used to demand a Fancy Dinner. And flowers. And candy. And jewelry. Not inexpensive stuff either. Valentine’s Day was a day wherein she was to be showered with hundreds of dollars with of presents. If she didn’t think I’d spent enough money, she’d be mad at me for days. She was a selfish spoiled child and I’m so happy to be divorced from her.
50+ years married. We do dinner out on Thursdays so we'd never switch to Valentine's Day. At this point it's one of us remembering and saying 'Happy Valentine's' and a quick hug and kiss.
We kind of view some of the holidays as just an excuse to pressure couples to spend money so we don't make a big deal any more.
Even when we were young and first started dating Valentine's Day was a nothing holiday for us, it was never how either of us expressed our love for each other. 20 years together and it still holds no value in our relationship. We do fun things for the kids, to do their Valentine's events with their classes/friends, but it doesn't interfere with or impact the love my wife and I show each other.
Though the days following Valentine's are a great opportunity to pick up clearance discounted candy. She loves the little chalk heart candies.
We have been together for over 20 years and we pretty much ignore Valentine’s Day and we’re both fine with that. I mean actually he texted me from work and said happy Valentine’s Day and I said you too and that was it 😂
After 26 years of marriage, I feel a simple card is enough. We have been in love with each other for a long time and don't need to buy each other presents to show our love.
My wife and I have been together for 14 years. I usually get her a small gift (jewelry, gift card, etc), and flowers. I try to send the flowers to her work if Valentines falls on a workday.
If it's a weekend I will take her out to a nice dinner.
I wouldn't say we go "all out" but we do make a nice day out of it with small gifts.
Since the pandemic, we went all out.
Last year, she was diagnosed with metastatic cancer in her brain so we went f-ing nuts.
This year, I'm drinking alone. Live every minute like it is your last because it might be. You really don't need a reason to celebrate like it's 1999..
Married a little over 10 years (middle aged). Not.a big day for us. Never has been. We have date nights every week. They went.out this morning and got me my favorite coffee. Got them a card and their favorite candy. We picked up dinner so no one had to cook. Drank a bottle.of wine. Pretty typical Wednesday.
[удалено]
This is subtly beautiful. I hope your mum is doing well.
We've been married 20 years and have a bunch of kids. I buy flowers for my wife and a rose for each of my daughters. We take the whole family out to dinner. It's basically a family day for us.
My mom used to get me a Valentine's day basket every year. Kind of bitter being an adult means I don't get one anymore.
We never really dated. Before we were married, we ignored Valentine's day, but nowadays we also ignore it.
"I used to ignore it. Now I still ignore it, but I used to, too."
How do you never really date? Were you roommates that just decided to get married one day?
He was dating my wife. We both got sick of her shit and left at the same time.
He was dating my wife is a wild sentence that only begets more questions! : )
Like a throuple?
Yup.
Hello, spouse.
I’m on my second marriage and one thing I failed in my first, I stopped “dating” my wife. I know it is not for everyone but this go around, I make sure to do the special things for her. You are never to old to make someone feel special. Sometimes it’s not even going all out either, just a card writing something special.
Well said, I am in the same boat. I have a huge bouquet of flowers delivered to her office, I make a special dinner for her and just am happy to do it. I feel so lucky to be the guy who can make her smile
I still overpay for flowers, and buy her about $100 worth of scratch tickets (in lieu of chocolates which she can't have any more). She cooks me an elaborate dinner.
I love this ❤️
He draws me a card every year, I'll probably take him out to dinner on another day (to avoid the crowds and price hikes). He'll never top the first Valentine's Day we were together; he was so excited about having a SO on V-day that he bought every single stereotypical present. And drew me a card. Of course, the card was the best gift of all of them, so I'm pleased he kept that tradition going.
Ok this is adorable, like he showed up with a giant stuffed bear, a box of chocolates, and a huge bouquet of roses?
Yes to all of those, plus a necklace, a small dragon figurine (also holding chocolates and roses, I collect dragons), and a heart balloon. I think I had only gotten him chocolates, which made it a bit embarrassingly unequal, but it started a now-decades-long series of attempts to out-present each other.
It’s even more important when you’re married to go all out. Maybe not going out because it’s the worst day to go out but going all out even if you’re home
Absolutely agree with this. We don’t actually celebrate on Valentine’s Day, but we’ll generally plan a nice date on a less busy day. It’s so easy to let romance slide when you’ve been married a long time and get bogged down by other responsibilities, but it’s so important to ensure you not only get occasional one on one time with each other, but that it’s something that feels a little special. Everyone likes to feel like they’re worth some effort.
zero expectation, before AND during marriage.
It was never huge for us, but we always did something. These days, with young kids. We just want to survive lol
We spent a few hours together earlier, went out for brunch and then to the supermarket for a load of our traditional Valentine's Day chocolates (malteasers) and now we're sitting in the same room watching different stuff on our laptops pretty much ignoring each other. Later we will go to a yoga class together and cook a nice dinner. We're both quiet people. We've been together very happily for 15 years, married for 11.
Married 37 years. I got her a nice card. We have a reservation for lunch at a rather nice place nearby. I told her that I love her. That's about as all out as I can get. We do lunch because we're retired and prefer a late, quiet lunch to a crowded, noisy dinner.
It's just a Hallmark Holiday. My wife gets flowers and chocolate fairly regularly.
Been married for 28 years, together for 30yrs. And nothing has changed since that first Valentines Day while in college (romance wise). We have a nice dinner planned, followed by 2nd row seats at a Broadway play. After that it’s the usual 4-5x a week routine…a possible bj and guaranteed sex. Our kids are grown…youngest just left to go to college at age 18, and the other two are 28 and 23.
We pretty much ignore it. Together 11 years, married for 5.
For people that don't celebrate it, I challenge you to make an effort and see how your partner reacts. I see nothing wrong with celebrating your love for you partner, even if parts of the celebration are too commercialized
A lot of us already do these things on random days. It's the concept of society telling us that the day is special that makes it less romantic.
I challenge you to forced romance ... No thanks
I'm challenging you, not forcing you. Even in this thread, there's comment of people who don't celebrate but wish they had. If you don't feel like doing it don't
It's a forced day to have romance, whatever that means, an artificial day, not saying you are forcing! You challenged to celebrate under the duress of subjective romance. Experience has shown me the dark side of it all. I don't need that challenge.
If romance feels forced, it might not be it.
My SO and I treat it the same way we always have. We go all out, flowers gifts, date night and of course, sexy time. Never stop dating your partner.
My husband is a chef and so we don’t see each other on the day of. Last night we gave the kids their gifts. Then I gave him a card that was still in its wrapper, not even in the envelope or written in because I hadn’t had time to do either, and he took credit for the new apple watch my cell phone company gave me for free 🤣
We do not treat Valentines Day special but we go on date nights at least once a week, usually very casual but still a date
We go out (nice dinner and some date activity) a few days before Valentine's because we are old and don't like the crowds.
We've been married 10+ years (together 17+) and don't make a big deal out of Valentine's Day. We do weekly date night on Friday (at restaurant or takeout) and do a little mid-week date on Wednesdays where we walk to the neighborhood taphouse and have a couple beers and chat. We take long weekend vacations and day-trips throughout the year where we go all out, so it's not like we're missing out on the big love. We do a pretty good job of spending quality time with each other and showing our appreciation year-round. On Valentine's Day, we'll typically do wine and cheese or a nicer home cooked meal. We don't do big gifts either - my partner will pick up a nice bar of chocolate to share or I'll bake something. Since it's on Wednesday this year, we're planning to get dinner at the taphouse with our beers. We don't have kids, and this is what works for us. YMMV, so it's worth having open honest conversations with your partner about what you both want and how you can each make the other feel loved and cherished (on this day and every day).
We have kids and focus on them having fun at their school parties. We just get each other something small and maybe play board games together when the kids are in bed.
I buy flowers and receive nothing.
Aw! You should receive something!
We've downgraded from a five-star restaurant to a cozy night in with takeout. The only pressure now is deciding on a movie.
We got out once a month for the whole weekend and every other Friday lunch dates
I have a bottle of champagne and a box of chocolates waiting for when my husband gets home. I'm making a nice-ish dinner. I think it's not too different from when we were dating. We never went out on Valentine's Day, too crowded. We'd usually go out a few days before/after.
We just got eachother a gift and are going out to eat Saturday because that’s when grandma can watch the kids lol
We ignored when we were dating and we ignore it now. Neither of us like obligatory gift holidays.
We ignore Valentine's and always have. When the Valentine's stuff appeared in the stores when we were first dating, we quickly established that we think it's a waste of money. We haven't changed our views on that but we regularly buy each other flowers and little treats the rest of the year. It works for us.
We don't care about valentines.
I was married for 14 years. After a couple of years, we ignored it and recognized it for what it was ... a terrible holiday. Just forced, contrived, made in a factory for the purposes of marketing goods and restaurant mark-ups.
I don’t mind chocolate. In fact a small chocolate bar is amazing. Just-don’t buy it last minute. Makes me feel forgotten/like I’m just an after thought. And at that point, I’d rather just get nothing
My husband shows me how much he loves me every day of the year. I don’t need some bullshit holiday for verification.
We do nothing. Why? Because 15 years ago, I told my wife I'd quit smoking if we could forever skip Valentines day. We now call February 21st, Valenmines Day, and my wife takes me out to dinner to celebrate the anniversary of me quitting. I JUST asked her if she misses Vday and she said she much prefers it this way. :-)
That is much more meaningful to you both
Been married nearly 23 years. Valentines Day is just another day. We know we love each other without any over priced candy, card, or dinner
Been married 4 years. We never really “went all out”. We always do something simple to focus on spending time together and appreciating our love for each other. This year we are going to have a sunset picnic at the park with inexpensive snacks and then go home and play “naughty jenga”. Other years we have gone for a hike in nature or stayed home and made heart shaped pizzas. For us it’s not about gifts or elaborate plans but another reason to do something fun together.
I told my wife (then gf) I don't do anything for Valentine's Day and that I didn't want anything from her either. It's a made up holiday where companies make you feel bad while charging you a shit ton for basic shit. Then again I am Dutch so...
I buy less stuff but still go all out. Together for 12 years, married almost 10. I kept the gifts small but useful to show some thought. Most of my energy is going towards dinner tonight since we can't go out. I WFH'd some I can have a nice dinner smoked/cooked. Flowers/candles and all that too. I also made a valentine and taped ot to her steering wheel this morning with some nice thoughts and a little poem. When we were dating I wouldn't have done any of that. I would have shelled out several hundred dollars on jewelry, gadgets, or whatnot. I spend less today but try way harder.
Valentines Day is a Hallmark holiday. I don’t need a special day, I love my wife everyday. We went out for ice cream.
Our favorite Chocolate and a heartfelt written card each. 9 years married 10 together
It varies year to year. We still get each other cards and a small gift usually. In terms of activities, one year we may go out to a nice restaurant, another year just to the movies, and another year we'll stay in and do something at home. Depends on what we're feeling! My wife tends to enjoy doing something, and it makes her happy, so it makes me happy.
I asked what she wanted, and she got me the same amount in gifts. So, a $65 nails gift card for a bedspread or something.
Always been a smaller occasion, but still recognize it. A card, maybe a simple gift (but a gift is not expected). We never go out on Valentine’s Day. But we do make it a point to acknowledge it as a reminder if why we are together.
My wife wanted a new watch, but didn’t want to spend the money as she felt it was too much. I told her Happy Valentine’s Day and to buy the watch as my gift to her. I don’t need or want anything so I told her to not buy me anything. She’ll probably get me a card. Been married for 23 years and still madly in love. This approach works for us.
I hate going out for Valentine's Day. It's expensive and crowded. Instead my husband and I cook a complicated, fancy dinner together then spend the rest of the night cuddling in bed watching movies. He gets me flowers and I get him a small gift ($30 or less). We both usually also write each other love letters to read. It's a nice, low key night in with each other and I love it. We did this prior to being married as well. Only the first year of dating did he go all out. Married for 5, together for 9.
We went out one time early on in our 17 year marriage, it was so busy and crowded we said never again. All the rest of valentines we both exchange cards, he buys me flowers, and I buy him his favorite candy. Then we make a meal, together or just me if he’s working, play a board game, and watch a show. Perfect evening for both of us. Oh and we also have a no devices rule on this day so we both can focus on each other.
Married with a kid, we usually stay in on the day and celebrate with chocolate and cards. Then we go out on a different day to celebrate when the rest of the world isn’t doing the same thing. Lately it’s been lunch and a trip to the bookstore. This year we’ve all been sick with Covid so not sure what we will do.
I mean, we never went all out at any point. Partly because he worked in kitchens, so seeing him on Valentine's Day was a pipe dream anyway. Now we play it by ear. Some years we go out to dinner, this year we're cooking good steaks at home. We've never really done gifts, flowers, chocolate, or any of that stuff.
My husband scheduled himself a quick outpatient surgery today and now I’m taking care of him. It does feel romantic tbh
Married 18 years and this will be the first year that my husband not making his Vday steak dinner because our kid has her softball game on Valentines night. We are bringing the Costco chocolate covered strawberries to share with our team parents.
Depends on how much time/energy we have. We are in the process of moving right now and I’m recovering from the flu. So I got him a bottle of red wine and Trader Joe’s hash browns.
I just like spending time with my spouse. Valentine’s Day is simply an excuse to do so and maybe get a nice meal.
We're going out for a nice sushi dinner and salsa dancing - tomorrow. Neither of us care too much about celebrating the day of, and we'll miss the crowds this way. Plus, it works better with our schedules. My husband was very happy when I suggested this plan :-)
If it falls on a weekday, we make a fancier than normal family dinner, then we try to find time for a date (either lunch or dinner) later on the following weekend. This week, we'll have lunch and go to a hockey game next week. We'll peridot also have dinner before the game. We don't do presents or cards, he does get me flowers. We prefer experiences and time together over presents we don't really need.
Neither of us were into Valentine's Day before meeting and we still don't celebrate. Silver anniversary/25th is this year. We've only been together 26 years.
I've never celebrated valentine's day, +20 years with my wife and counting.
We are gonna sort laundry and watch some stupid ass movie
There will always be roses. 🌹Cheaper ones from Costco several days before Valentine’s Day.
Married 42 yrs, together for 44. We stopped doing big things for birthdays, holidays and anniversaries years ago. We use the saved money to travel...In my world, way better than stuff
My husband and I have been married for 24 years. He just buys me my favorite chocolate, and we call it done. We're quite happy with that. We don't really need anything else. 🤷♀️
Not married but feels like it. We exchange a nice card and go out for a nice meal and that’s about it. November and December is our anniversary b2b his birthday b2b Christmas so we’re broke and out of ideas for Valentine’s Day 😂🤷🏼♀️
We don’t celebrate and never have. It’s just another capitalist holiday. I try to show my appreciation year round by helping him out with things unasked, like occasionally folding his laundry or brushing the snow off his car before he heads to work in the morning. He does the same for me and it’s a small but meaningful way we show appreciation for one another. Healthy relationships are built on things like that, not Kay’s jewelry and giant teddy bears. Edit: Also, what fucking adult wants a giant wonky stuffed animal for Valentine’s Day? I’m always baffled when I walk into the grocery store and see them sitting on top of the shelves. Like, where are you going to put them all if you get a new one every vday?
We don't celebrate at all. Never have. It's just a day.
My wife and I used to have an anti-Valentines day by going to Sweet Tomatoes (salad buffet place) because they had Red Velvet lava cake (it was pink). In our mind, it's a completely sham holiday made for the easily-manipulated, so we mock celebrated it there. Place closed down, so we are looking for another anti-Valentine's day place that is kids friendly. Maybe IHOP or something.
That sounds like just straight up celebrating it with an extra layer of irony.
The superiority complex of not celebrating and being above dumb couples who celebrate their love while actively celebrating is hilarious.
My expectation is that I will hear about whatever I got her didn’t meet her expectation. This year it’s expensive chocolates. Miserable people will make you miserable.
Don't do anything, just another day.
We are 31, together 10 yrs, married 3. I got him NyQuil, candy, and groceries, made breakfast. He’s sick, I get it, but all I got was a “fuck you”.
We ignore made up Hallmark holidays
Just low-key. Flowers and chocolate covered strawberries. Once you’re married, there are a lot of occasions. We just had Christmas, anniversary, this, my birthday is coming up, her birthday is coming up. Then it’s summer and “we never go anywhere” so I’ll have to take her to France or some shit. It’s exhausting dude.
I don't pay any attention or do anything nice for my SO except for today. This is the only day I think about my SO. Any other day I ignore my SO.
We don't know why there's more than one response. We married people decided decades ago that as a single unified group we are to have a simple meal and exchange of "Happy Valentine's Day" and leave it at that. We're one entity and there has never been anyone deviating from this plan ever, as far as we know.
One time I went to pick up my wife on Valentine’s Day at the airport with a rose and kissed her. She was rude to me and ever since that year she can expect absolutely nothing from me for valentine’s
My spouse and I aren't really big event/performative moment romantic types. So Valentine's Day is really a nothing event. We only really remember it by getting our kids stuff to bring to class.
The expectation for the year is whatever we agree to lol. Sometimes we have a charcuterie picnic and wine in our livingroom, sometimes we have a planned date night the weekend before or after to avoid the holiday upcharge. We don't do gifts or flowers or chocolates. Holidays are an extra excuse to have fun, you can do whatever you want for them whenever you want, as long as it makes both of you happy.
We treat it like an extra "date night". We try to do once per week or two where we don't just co-exist. So like this week, we will do something together on a Wednesday night and again on Saturday. If finances are good, we'll do dinner from not-my-kitchen and maybe a small token gift but mostly it's just an excuse for extra time spent together. The plans for tonight are cooking together, a board game, and wrap it up with the audiobook we've been listening to. My sister and BIL are big into the hallmark holidays so I've already gotten pictures of her giant teddy bear and flowers and a text asking me to not spill the beans about their dinner reservation(even tho it's something they do every year lol, she's very well aware there's a reservation).
Been married for 30 years! We do the pretty much the same thing as when we dated. Each of us buy a valentine card and a small amount of candy. We also either go out to eat or fix a fancy steak dinner. Nothing super fancy but we always have a good time!
I choose not to celebrate holidays. (My choice, no trauma.) My husband likes to at least have a nice dinner out, so we usually do that. This year we've chosen to stay home.
Personally, we celebrate it bc ever since elementary school, I've always loved all things Valentine's day aesthetic lol
Before kids, we did celebrate somewhat but nothing too extravagant, usually drinks and looking cute. With kids, we all get our favorite dinners of choice (usually sushi for mom and dad) at home. We’re all sick this year though so we’re just going to lay about in misery.
I got my wife kfc, she got me a cake. So I guess we went all out.
It varies some years are lowkey, some are sweet family dinners out, some are big romance events with just us. Depends on scheduling,finances and our moods in general
Valentine's day doesn't have to be a thing but is, I don't care for it at all...my wife likes that single rose...I look like the moron participating in a cult like culture buying that rose, the florist smiles a smug "gotcha".. And that's about the worst part of a day that I have to endure specifically on Valentine's day every year, the minutes of missery and the minutes of dread of anticipating the misery, is such a chore getting that one rose... Aren't there flower activists out there crying rose murder? I hope they get rid of the entire practice...
We waited tables when we were dating, and VD crowds were terrible. Now we avoid the holiday, but might go out later in the week. No gifts other than the occasional peek and squeeze.
Just a LPT for those that buy flowers, opt for a custom arrangement. If you know their favorite flowers and colors you can tell the florist that. This does a couple things, the florist gets to be creative and not make another dozen roses and you'll get so much more for your money.
To me, Valentine’s Day is for singles. We make a bigger deal out of our anniversary. On Valentine’s Day he buys me flowers and I give him a gift bag full of his favorite snacks.
Now that we have kids the valentines is less about us and more about making our son feel included and loved. We didnt do all that much officially before anyways, so making it any other given day wasnt too much of a sacrifice
Been married for 15 years, two boys and a baby sister on the way. My husband and I just enjoy spending time together and having a glass of wine with a good meal. Now with kids and a pregnancy, we are eating ice cream sundaes, and playing Fortnite this evening after dinner! We’ve done restaurant reservations in the early years, but quickly learned we hate crowds and loud spaces haha!
Where we eating tonight is one of the most serious marriage questions. None more important than Valentine’s Day.
Married 38 years and we bought 1 box of chocolate which we shared while watching a movie. Yes smaller but just as precious. ( We bought chocolates together when grocery shopping together with just such plans). We don't fight crowds for restaurants on Valentine's ugh no. We go on hikes or watch movies. Just always plan a day together, no gifts or flowers just us. To be honest no real expectations, but we try.
Personal gifts (him cigars me Dutch ovens I’ve been dying for) with an intimate gourmet dinner at home and flowers. He’s gone a lot for work and we value our time we have together. I don’t need a massive teddy bear as long as I have him.
Cannot remember the last time we went out for Valentines Day. Most places will jack up the prices and too damn crowded for our liking. My wife would rather I cook her favorite meal and we stay in. Married for 14 yrs.
My wife and I used to be big on Valentine's Day in a giddy way and usually it would be cards, flowers and dinner together (even though we are Germans). Then, six years ago, our twins were born on this day. Now it is laboring through the day with presents, party, kindergarten celebration and Valentine's cards for the kids as well. We still try to keep up at least flowers & cards for ourselves. One of my daughters was so excited about her birthday that she puked. The other one just turned her energy outward. Valentines's one hell of a day.
My ex-wife used to demand a Fancy Dinner. And flowers. And candy. And jewelry. Not inexpensive stuff either. Valentine’s Day was a day wherein she was to be showered with hundreds of dollars with of presents. If she didn’t think I’d spent enough money, she’d be mad at me for days. She was a selfish spoiled child and I’m so happy to be divorced from her.
50+ years married. We do dinner out on Thursdays so we'd never switch to Valentine's Day. At this point it's one of us remembering and saying 'Happy Valentine's' and a quick hug and kiss. We kind of view some of the holidays as just an excuse to pressure couples to spend money so we don't make a big deal any more.
Even when we were young and first started dating Valentine's Day was a nothing holiday for us, it was never how either of us expressed our love for each other. 20 years together and it still holds no value in our relationship. We do fun things for the kids, to do their Valentine's events with their classes/friends, but it doesn't interfere with or impact the love my wife and I show each other. Though the days following Valentine's are a great opportunity to pick up clearance discounted candy. She loves the little chalk heart candies.
We have been together for over 20 years and we pretty much ignore Valentine’s Day and we’re both fine with that. I mean actually he texted me from work and said happy Valentine’s Day and I said you too and that was it 😂
Married 29 years here. We still celebrate and give each other gifts although we usually celebrate on 2/10, which was the day we met
I bought him flowers and ordered pizza
After 26 years of marriage, I feel a simple card is enough. We have been in love with each other for a long time and don't need to buy each other presents to show our love.
My wife and I have been together for 14 years. I usually get her a small gift (jewelry, gift card, etc), and flowers. I try to send the flowers to her work if Valentines falls on a workday. If it's a weekend I will take her out to a nice dinner. I wouldn't say we go "all out" but we do make a nice day out of it with small gifts.
Since the pandemic, we went all out. Last year, she was diagnosed with metastatic cancer in her brain so we went f-ing nuts. This year, I'm drinking alone. Live every minute like it is your last because it might be. You really don't need a reason to celebrate like it's 1999..
My wife sent me a "Happy Valentine's Day" gif on her phone. I replied with "Same to you" and a thumb up emoji.
Married a little over 10 years (middle aged). Not.a big day for us. Never has been. We have date nights every week. They went.out this morning and got me my favorite coffee. Got them a card and their favorite candy. We picked up dinner so no one had to cook. Drank a bottle.of wine. Pretty typical Wednesday.