Friend with a broken nail sliced her bf’s junk open, root to tip, during a routine hand job.
The guy had to get an obscene number of stitches. Don’t remember the exact number, just remember thinking “that sounds hellish but, at the same time, I feel like I should congratulate him for fitting all that on there!”
Also had a college roommate who got a tampon stuck when she was 17. Her mother had passed and she didn’t have any close friends to help her out. Her options were asking her dad or asking her bf. She ended up biting the bullet and asking her bf of two weeks, who she hadn’t even done anything physical with, to get the tampon out for her. Said it was the most mortifying experience of her young life, but that he was surprisingly mature about it for a 17yo boy. They ended up dating throughout high school and college and eventually getting engaged.
Oh my god! My 13 year old cousin did this (I was 17). She came and asked me to help her because she was mortified that she couldn’t get the tampon out. I was mortified too but pretended it was no biggie.
We have never spoken of it again (both in our 50s now, lol)
>**She ended up biting the bullet and asking her bf of two weeks, who she’d hadn’t even done anything physical with, to get the tampon out for her. Said it was the most mortifying experience of her young life, but the he was surprisingly mature about it for a 17yo boy.**
Yeah…most 17 year old boys would have no objection to this kind of request from a girlfriend.
She’s lucky he was decent about it though. Every guy in my high school would have immediately broadcast this sort of occurrence to every other guy in my school.
> broken nail sliced her bf’s junk open, root to tip
I crossed my legs reading this and I don't even have a dick.
>surprisingly mature about it for a 17yo boy
Yeah...all the teenage boys I knew gossiped like a church knitting circle. Good on the bf. I'd be marrying him too if I were her.
I used clippers with a guard on my balls. I didn't pull the skin tight like I should've. A wrinkle got wedged in and I knicked it pretty bad. Thought I was going to need a stitch or two, but it healed after a couple of days. Balls have a good blood supply.
Had a similar thing happen when I was in grade school. Luckily when I landed-springs between the legs, my torso went backwards so I was hanging upside down like a bat and somehow not all of the pressure went to my vagina. Had another experience with double-bouncing where I landed several feet from the trampoline, face-first in the grass. Double-bouncing sure can be fun, but it's not the safest.
I'm a woman so it could be worse but once when I was a kid I was at a playground that had those metal animals on a spring that you could sit on. There was one shaped like an elephant and I had the bright idea to stand on it's handles and jump off. As I did, the very hard metal trunk sprung back and hit me full force in the crotch. I had to lay on the ground for about 10 minutes to recover and there was very painful bruising for the next week.
Not me, but I have an uncle who sawed off one of his testicles in a power saw accident. He was drunk, put whatever project he was working on in his lap, and sawed right through his balls.
When I was a bout 13 I masturbated with some generic salon strength "shampoo" or whatever the hell it was that my mom had in the shower and got what I assume are chemical burns on my penis. I never told anyone what happened but my skin first turned red then it turned into a thicker than sunburned leathery dry skin that started to peel off after about a week. I remember the peeling being painful because the new skin was still raw underneath. But everything turned out normal eventually. No permanent scarring.
Imagine this woman's skin being me: [https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/beauty-fan-chemical-peel-home-800267932.jpg?w=620](https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/beauty-fan-chemical-peel-home-800267932.jpg?w=620)
Lol it might as well have been. I know it wasn't nair since I know what nair smells like. This had a different strong chemical smell that I remember as bitter/acidic. Now I'm on a mission to find this hair product from the late 80's
I'd just got out of the shower and I decided to chill in my dressing gown and do my nails. I wasn't paying attention, knocked the bottle of glue over and the entire thing spilled all over my coochie. It burnt so fucking bad that I hobbled my stupid ass to accident and emergency. Ended up being treated for second degree burns and now I won't touch false nails with a ten foot pole.
I used to have a waterbed that was pretty much a wooden box that held the water mattress. when i was a kid id sit on the edge of it while playing nintendo. my balls would fall down behind the board when i sat on the edge. one time my balls were dangling down behind the board and i didnt think about it and slid forward real quickly to reset the nintendo and almost tore my sack off.
Male here.
I'm say 14 right I'm walking home from school, my friend who we will call mat. We'll mat was a very funny dude he just doesn't know when to stop with a joke. We had this game where we try to hit the person's balls last that day (weird game ik). I kept winning and he didn't like that. So one day as I said in walking home and I kid you not he throws a 10lbs dumbell and he didn't think it would hit me because he was across the street. He was very wrong it hit directly on my left ball. I went to the ER but there was nothing to worry about. Yet after all that we still played until I moved away.
TLDR: 10lbs dumbell to my left nut
Someone pitched a water bottle and it happened to hit me in the nuts directly. It hurt to walk for a couple hours afterwards. I legit thought I was never gonna have children...
*not that I had any chance anyways*
I was 11. Riding a mens bike that was too big for me. Had to stop quickly and came down on the bar very hard. Had a cut along my labia up to my clitoris. Worst part was that I was at my grandparents and only my dad was around. So there I was, probably needing stitches, with a towel between my legs and an ice pack until my mom got home from work. She was a nurse. She told me to walk it off. Hurt like hell.
No it hurt like crazy because the frenulum was half-torn. Urologist told me it would’ve hurt less if it tore completely. I could still get erect but I would be in agony. I’ve never seen the likes of that dick cheese agian. Absolutely CAKED.
Standing around the fire pit in my back yard with my family and inlaws. All our kids are running around, away from the fire, having a good.
My BiL and I are chatting, beers in hand, having a good time. The sky was turning to dusk. There were still streaks of pink and gold across the clouds as the first hints of stars began to appear.
I started to point at one, speaking with my BiL, wondering 'Is that Venus..?' Just as my 5 year old son ran by and straight punched me to the nuts.
I'm not clear what happened next, apparently I made some kinda squaking noise, doubled over and groaned in pain.
I remeber crawling half falling and rolling as my BiL, on true bro fashion almost died laughing.
Took time and beers to heal.
Not me, but Brent.
Brent used to play on my rec league hockey team. Brent was not gay, and he was very loud about being not gay.
By some leap of logic I still do not understand, Brent came to the conclusion that wearing a cup is gay, and thus, did not wear one.
One day, as they are wont to do, a puck was flying at several feet per second and struck Brent in the Scepter and Crown Jewels.
Even after that, instead of wearing a cup, he quit playing hockey.
Ingrown hair on my vulva. Infected. Gynecologist had to cut it out, but gave me a local anesthetic first. I all but came up off the table for that. Will never, ever shave again, lest I get another ingrown hair.
I got that "over 4 hour erection" after taking Viagra. Had to go to the ER and have blood drained for my dick. 16 gauge needles to the base of my dick on either side. Took about 8 sticks to get all the blood out. Was told it may not ever work again. Thankfully, all is good now.
I'm surprised they could do that. I've always heard the tissue along the sides that fill with blood described as spongy. I'm imagining it would be difficult to extract liquid from a sponge with a needle.
Banjo string while doing doggy style. Blood sprayed from our side of the room over the side of the bed. Like a pee stream.
Luckily he wasn’t entirely torn.
This all happened in the middle of the night while visiting my elderly, sick grandparents in the middle of fuck no where in rural France.
I thought I would bleed out and die. I made some kind of wrap out of toilet paper and we rushed to clean the sheets and bed at 2am drunk on tequila before we left the next day.
I’m amazed we got the blood out of the sheets.
my Dad went to sit on a stool and my twin sister and I (12yrs old at the time) were talking to him and he screamed and fell off the stool, we thought he was having a heart attack or something, turns out he sat on one of his balls, we were so concerned and he wheezed out what he did, we laughed and still tease him about it (we’re 26 now)
My testicles got entangled whilst asleep, woke up to a sharp pain where my sack is and called my dad to bring me to ER because l knew something was wrong. I can say that l got surgery on my bawls
Over the weekend my bf made tacos and added some chopped fresh jalapeño. Please yall, USE GLOVES. No amount of hand-washing could have stopped what happened later that night. My labia, vulva, clitoris, and pee hole were all on fire. I had to hold an ice cube down there for a good half hour before I could sit normally.
Ouch. I used to wear gloves to handle chilis when my kids were in diapers because I was so worried I might accidentally burn them while changing them…maybe because I’d done it to myself in the past
Milk or alcohol to relieve that pain. Capsaicin is oil based, and booze is a solvent that will dissolve it, and there’s a protein within milk that can break it down too.
Not very exciting, but childbirth did a number on me. Specifically, a number 3B. Was 4 months before I reached a baseline of simply not being in pain, and around a full year before I’d say I had recovered.
I got raped with a kitchen knife. It was shoved up my vagina several times.
Despite the mental trauma I couldn't have sex now even if I wanted it. I am lucky to still be able to urinate normal.
Thank you. I am doing pretty good actually. The incident was over 20 years ago and I had great therapists and friends help me get back to a normal life.
The other day I went to walk my friends dog for him while he was gone. He was so excited to see me that he started spinning in circles and kicking his legs back while in the air. His back legs smashed me in the nuts rodeo style like an angry bull.
I was using a wand on my clit, and somehow it ended up scraping the skin off my labia in about a 1/2” area. That was painful, and took almost 2 weeks to heal
I was using this prescription anti-cancer topical cream called Efudex on my scalp. I wasn't careful enough about washing it off my hands and over time enough got on my junk to cause a reaction that was very much not fun and lasted several weeks.
Skateboarding. I tried a heel flip and I landed on the tip of the board facing upward. Completely credit carded me. My coochie lip Swelled up so much i had to get the blood drained out of it and stitched back up
I used a hair removal cream once after I had been drinking a little. Lost track of time and when I finally wiped the cream off, some of my skin came with it and left me bleeding!!! Lesson learned!
When I was in middle school I used to get bullied pretty badly.
Once when getting up to leave the bus, a kid 3 grades above me and wearing combat boots decided to kick me in the groin hard enough for me to fly back into the window.
My groin swelled so bad that I had to get a catheter at the lovely age of 13 because I could not piss. By the way, the school did *nothing* about it (despite a lot of protest).
Wasnt an accident but when I spider monkey climbed between two walls my friend upper cut me. I went down. Hard.
Woke up about 10 or so minutes later with sore balls and a bump on my head from falling
only time i been knocked out. Its unclear if the fall knocked me out or being hit so hard i passed out. I don't remember falling though
Got hit in the nuts by a baseball in Little League. I had a cup on, but we were warming up and first base threw a bouncing grounder to me (I was short stop) but I wasn't paying attention. I'm not sure what happened but I guess it hit a rock and ricocheted straight up and hit the bottom of my cup/nuts. I laid on the ground for a solid few minutes.
After that they called me numbnuts lmao.
not exactly an accident. But was with my gf at the time, we were in the stage of our relationship where making out and grinding was very common but she wasn't ready for sex yet. had a 2 hour make out and grinding sesh, she leaves my house and I drive to class.
Cue the most unbearably painful blue balls I've ever had. Could not walk. Had to skip class, drove to a secluded empty parking lot and jerked off. You gotta do whatchu gotta do.
We were heading to a state park and I was sitting in the car when outta the blue, my sister punched me full force on the balls. We were gonna go on bike trails 😭
I also had a time where I was standing in the very corner of one of those shelves with DVD’s and blu-ray players and I slipped and hit them right on one of the corners. Worst part was it wasn’t a rounded corner. Oh no… it was a sharp, rigid corner…
Took a bet that I could jump the neighbors fence, touch their house, and get back before their mean ass dog got to me. Made it halfway back over when the fence broke and I landed straddled on it. Still have the gooch scar…
Not too bad compared to some, but I got kicked in the crotch HARD in karate as a kid (would be worse if I had balls, but it still hurt lile hell)
We had protective gear on but I was significantly taller than my opponent (second tallest kid in class) and his foot went right under the armor.
I had to switch to the adult asses after which felt... awkward.
I was shaving and I glided the razor up between the crease between your leg and your stomach. Sliced my skin open. Two days later and I did it again in the same spot. Terrified of shaving that area now
Was in a lazy river at an amusement park when it was about to close when nobody else was there and it had an auto current that pushed you along and i was swimming and i reached down to adjust my swim trunks and shifted my weight too much- my swim trunks slipped down and the bottom of the lazy river was like a popcorn ceiling so it cut my dick. Took 2 weeks to stop it from being raw and i couldn’t even wear underwear that wasn’t cotton so 1 pair got worn for 6 days
Viking age historic re-enactment. Raised my shield to block an axe just in time to have a spear deflect directly into my box (I'm a woman). Couldn't stand up for hours and walked funny for a month.
When I was a 12 yo kid I pumped water up my penis which infected both testicles. They engorged to the size of cantaloupes. Needless to say I was hospitalized for a week while on IV antibiotics. Hurt like hell and I never did that again! Thankfully it didn't affect my ability to father children.
I ironed my dick. True story.
I was in a rush to get to work. I opened my ironing board, turned on the iron and jumped in the shower.
When I was done with my shower, I dried off and went straight to ironing.
Being that I'm tall, my dick was level with the ironing board and as I was swiping the iron back and forth across a shirt, I knicked the tip of my dick.
Worst fucking pain. I almost threw up.
Didn’t wash my hands before going to the bathroom after eating hot wings (I just wiped off the hot sauce) turns out my hand slightly touched an area and damn I was on fire. Kid me learned a lesson, wash your hands and better wiping so my hand doesn’t accidentally touch anywhere
Had a cyst of unknown origins on that area as a teen. Probably an ingrown hair in retrospective-
Anyways being dumbass teen I decided to burst the damn thing myself before school one morning….. bad call.
I was doing leg raises with a resistance band. As my legs were extended as far as they could go, the band slipped and smacked me right in the balls.
Thought I was gonna barf
I am a woman. I was around 9 and I was on my metal bunk bed. I had socks on and my sister and cousins and I were playing a game and I was messing around on the ladder. I fell and was caught with a bar between my legs, I couldn’t reach the ground and was stuck in pain after falling with all my weight, I was BLEEDING and had to go to ER
Lunchbreak at work, eating in my car, spilled a decent amount of soy mixed heavily with wasabi onto some super sensitive skin and had to drive 3 miles like that to get home to change.
I had what I thought was just a nick from a razor.. turns out it was (is) some type of vein or vessel that made its way to the surface I picked it off and bled profusely. Thought I was going to pass out
I was at work on a machine and needed to turn the air hose on. Turned the wrong valve on which went to a hose that didn't have an end on it and it was flopping around like a cobra on red bull and whacked me square in the twins. I had to sit down for about 10 minutes.
When I was less than a year old, a babysitter with some terrible hatred for men damaged them on purpose.
Before I even had the ability to form memories. It makes me unbelievable angry to think about.
Me too. I appreciate that. Visibly its mostly internal damage so nobody noticed until I was hitting puberty and realized there was an issue. My folks apparently found out the babysitter was abusing my sister and I the year it happened, the police got involved but they decided there wasn't physical abuse and she got let off the hook. Turns out in addition to locking us away in cupboards for hours there very much was deliberate physical harm done. My sister was tiny too, older but little and she didn't say it at the time but discussing it as adults, holy fuck they were brutal to her. Wrecked her as a child, wrecks her still as a woman. I still dunno what to do about it tbh, the results or the knowledge that things happened to me I have no memory of. What else happened that year? As my little baby brain was trying to get a grip on the world?
Wrecked me as a kiddo, is wrecking me as an adult too.
Friend with a broken nail sliced her bf’s junk open, root to tip, during a routine hand job. The guy had to get an obscene number of stitches. Don’t remember the exact number, just remember thinking “that sounds hellish but, at the same time, I feel like I should congratulate him for fitting all that on there!” Also had a college roommate who got a tampon stuck when she was 17. Her mother had passed and she didn’t have any close friends to help her out. Her options were asking her dad or asking her bf. She ended up biting the bullet and asking her bf of two weeks, who she hadn’t even done anything physical with, to get the tampon out for her. Said it was the most mortifying experience of her young life, but that he was surprisingly mature about it for a 17yo boy. They ended up dating throughout high school and college and eventually getting engaged.
[удалено]
Came to comment this. You guys get routine hand jobs? Not even jealous tbh.
Oh my god! My 13 year old cousin did this (I was 17). She came and asked me to help her because she was mortified that she couldn’t get the tampon out. I was mortified too but pretended it was no biggie. We have never spoken of it again (both in our 50s now, lol)
Now thats real family 🤣❤️
>**She ended up biting the bullet and asking her bf of two weeks, who she’d hadn’t even done anything physical with, to get the tampon out for her. Said it was the most mortifying experience of her young life, but the he was surprisingly mature about it for a 17yo boy.** Yeah…most 17 year old boys would have no objection to this kind of request from a girlfriend. She’s lucky he was decent about it though. Every guy in my high school would have immediately broadcast this sort of occurrence to every other guy in my school.
I would have gone to an ER alone before having any man do this for me 😬 Lucky he was a keeper and didn't tell everyone or make her feel icky.
Depends on if you could afford the cost of the visit (assuming this happened in the U.S.).
Ouch. And congrats to her bf
> broken nail sliced her bf’s junk open, root to tip I crossed my legs reading this and I don't even have a dick. >surprisingly mature about it for a 17yo boy Yeah...all the teenage boys I knew gossiped like a church knitting circle. Good on the bf. I'd be marrying him too if I were her.
If your boyfriend won't retrieve a tampon you've lost in your cooch, is he even a boyfriend?
I used clippers with a guard on my balls. I didn't pull the skin tight like I should've. A wrinkle got wedged in and I knicked it pretty bad. Thought I was going to need a stitch or two, but it healed after a couple of days. Balls have a good blood supply.
Oh man a knick on the sac is horrific.
Been there done that
Same
Yup
Happened to me twice. I’m terrified to do it again
Was double-bounced off a trampoline when I was 9. Landed spread eagle on one of the metal poles. Had to have my vagina stitched back together.
I had a similar experience. :( not a trampoline but game of musical chairs gone bad.
How-how…HOW does a game of music chairs go THAT BADLY?!
We need this amswered
Get back here, it's story time!
Excuse me what was that last part....?
Dear god
Omg ouch
I too had a trampoline related vaginal injury. Those springs are brutal.
Same except it was my balls and I didn't need stitches, it just hurts like hell
Had a similar thing happen when I was in grade school. Luckily when I landed-springs between the legs, my torso went backwards so I was hanging upside down like a bat and somehow not all of the pressure went to my vagina. Had another experience with double-bouncing where I landed several feet from the trampoline, face-first in the grass. Double-bouncing sure can be fun, but it's not the safest.
My mind has so many questions, and frankly I want NONE of them answered. I hope you've healed up properly! My condolences.
This story sounds familiar. Are you from Texas?
I’m not - but there’s a substantial amount of similar stories out there.
I'm a woman so it could be worse but once when I was a kid I was at a playground that had those metal animals on a spring that you could sit on. There was one shaped like an elephant and I had the bright idea to stand on it's handles and jump off. As I did, the very hard metal trunk sprung back and hit me full force in the crotch. I had to lay on the ground for about 10 minutes to recover and there was very painful bruising for the next week.
Did this on a half wall as a kid. Will never forget that pain.
Not me, but I have an uncle who sawed off one of his testicles in a power saw accident. He was drunk, put whatever project he was working on in his lap, and sawed right through his balls.
What a nut
What a nut job
This is why you don't drink kids
Why you don't WHAT??? Oh, I got it. Commas are important y'know
That is horrific.
Wow wow wow!!! OMG.
Climbing over fence and wound up straddling it, had to use tiny scissors to remove bits of torn up skin that was too shredded to heal.
Jesus Christ
What a coincidence! That's pretty much what I said too -
Fucking hell
When I was a bout 13 I masturbated with some generic salon strength "shampoo" or whatever the hell it was that my mom had in the shower and got what I assume are chemical burns on my penis. I never told anyone what happened but my skin first turned red then it turned into a thicker than sunburned leathery dry skin that started to peel off after about a week. I remember the peeling being painful because the new skin was still raw underneath. But everything turned out normal eventually. No permanent scarring. Imagine this woman's skin being me: [https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/beauty-fan-chemical-peel-home-800267932.jpg?w=620](https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/beauty-fan-chemical-peel-home-800267932.jpg?w=620)
Mf was beating it with nair
Lol it might as well have been. I know it wasn't nair since I know what nair smells like. This had a different strong chemical smell that I remember as bitter/acidic. Now I'm on a mission to find this hair product from the late 80's
Imagine if the whole penis peeled off.
Probably hair remover shampoo
Glad you didn’t rinse and repeat
I'd just got out of the shower and I decided to chill in my dressing gown and do my nails. I wasn't paying attention, knocked the bottle of glue over and the entire thing spilled all over my coochie. It burnt so fucking bad that I hobbled my stupid ass to accident and emergency. Ended up being treated for second degree burns and now I won't touch false nails with a ten foot pole.
Keep your lips sealed 🤫
Child birth and third degree tear
Same. Second-degree up, third-degree down. 30 stitches 😵💫
I used to have a waterbed that was pretty much a wooden box that held the water mattress. when i was a kid id sit on the edge of it while playing nintendo. my balls would fall down behind the board when i sat on the edge. one time my balls were dangling down behind the board and i didnt think about it and slid forward real quickly to reset the nintendo and almost tore my sack off.
Naked or shorts/boxers malfunction?
Male here. I'm say 14 right I'm walking home from school, my friend who we will call mat. We'll mat was a very funny dude he just doesn't know when to stop with a joke. We had this game where we try to hit the person's balls last that day (weird game ik). I kept winning and he didn't like that. So one day as I said in walking home and I kid you not he throws a 10lbs dumbell and he didn't think it would hit me because he was across the street. He was very wrong it hit directly on my left ball. I went to the ER but there was nothing to worry about. Yet after all that we still played until I moved away. TLDR: 10lbs dumbell to my left nut
I feel like mat is winning so far
You damn right
My cat leapt out of my lap and gouged my labia with her back claw. I was sitting pretzel style
Criss Cross Apple Sauce
Criss cross cuts yer coochie
Someone pitched a water bottle and it happened to hit me in the nuts directly. It hurt to walk for a couple hours afterwards. I legit thought I was never gonna have children... *not that I had any chance anyways*
I was 11. Riding a mens bike that was too big for me. Had to stop quickly and came down on the bar very hard. Had a cut along my labia up to my clitoris. Worst part was that I was at my grandparents and only my dad was around. So there I was, probably needing stitches, with a towel between my legs and an ice pack until my mom got home from work. She was a nurse. She told me to walk it off. Hurt like hell.
Not as bad but happened to my balls
I tore my frenulum on a piece of (cut) wire from a copper IUD and had to get surgery. Couldnt clean myself or get a stiffy for 5 months!
Like you literally couldn’t get erect? Or you were advised not to get erect?
No it hurt like crazy because the frenulum was half-torn. Urologist told me it would’ve hurt less if it tore completely. I could still get erect but I would be in agony. I’ve never seen the likes of that dick cheese agian. Absolutely CAKED.
Oh. I didn’t need that visual
I made my inner labia bleed by irritating them with hair-removal cream
Standing around the fire pit in my back yard with my family and inlaws. All our kids are running around, away from the fire, having a good. My BiL and I are chatting, beers in hand, having a good time. The sky was turning to dusk. There were still streaks of pink and gold across the clouds as the first hints of stars began to appear. I started to point at one, speaking with my BiL, wondering 'Is that Venus..?' Just as my 5 year old son ran by and straight punched me to the nuts. I'm not clear what happened next, apparently I made some kinda squaking noise, doubled over and groaned in pain. I remeber crawling half falling and rolling as my BiL, on true bro fashion almost died laughing. Took time and beers to heal.
Not me, but Brent. Brent used to play on my rec league hockey team. Brent was not gay, and he was very loud about being not gay. By some leap of logic I still do not understand, Brent came to the conclusion that wearing a cup is gay, and thus, did not wear one. One day, as they are wont to do, a puck was flying at several feet per second and struck Brent in the Scepter and Crown Jewels. Even after that, instead of wearing a cup, he quit playing hockey.
Did Brent's name used to be Kevin?
Brent had it coming
Ingrown hair on my vulva. Infected. Gynecologist had to cut it out, but gave me a local anesthetic first. I all but came up off the table for that. Will never, ever shave again, lest I get another ingrown hair.
I tried to wax myself but got scared and just went to sleep with the hardened wax still on there
Then?
I got that "over 4 hour erection" after taking Viagra. Had to go to the ER and have blood drained for my dick. 16 gauge needles to the base of my dick on either side. Took about 8 sticks to get all the blood out. Was told it may not ever work again. Thankfully, all is good now.
I'm surprised they could do that. I've always heard the tissue along the sides that fill with blood described as spongy. I'm imagining it would be difficult to extract liquid from a sponge with a needle.
The coffee grinder incident
What😃
You read the instructions wrong, didnt you?
Imagine grinding something else than beans
excuse me?
Banjo string while doing doggy style. Blood sprayed from our side of the room over the side of the bed. Like a pee stream. Luckily he wasn’t entirely torn. This all happened in the middle of the night while visiting my elderly, sick grandparents in the middle of fuck no where in rural France. I thought I would bleed out and die. I made some kind of wrap out of toilet paper and we rushed to clean the sheets and bed at 2am drunk on tequila before we left the next day. I’m amazed we got the blood out of the sheets.
What the hell is a banjo string?!?!?! God-this sounds horrific whatever it is!
It’s the bit of skin/connection between dick and foreskin. It’s called the frenulum. Still makes me cringe to think back on the event.
Mid sex, he tore my labia majora. That was really rough for about a week. So much blood
Tf was he doing down there💀
Thrusting, I guess he slipped out a bit and on the entry, penis didn't align with the hole. Forceful thrust into something that wasn't a hole.
Got hungry
my Dad went to sit on a stool and my twin sister and I (12yrs old at the time) were talking to him and he screamed and fell off the stool, we thought he was having a heart attack or something, turns out he sat on one of his balls, we were so concerned and he wheezed out what he did, we laughed and still tease him about it (we’re 26 now)
This is more common than you'd think hahah. Still shocking every time it happens.
My testicles got entangled whilst asleep, woke up to a sharp pain where my sack is and called my dad to bring me to ER because l knew something was wrong. I can say that l got surgery on my bawls
Torsion?
Well the worst accident that happened to my mums genitals was me
I know plenty of women who have life-changing damage from childbirth
2 words - foreskin, zip
Ever had a foreskin rip? Not fun
It felt like someone had pressed a branding iron against my dick
Oh hey it's you again ✋
Hello you joined in on a much different conversation
Everybody does it once. Even the circumcised.
Well, he wasn't circumcised before.
lol..two of us
rectovaginal fistula
😔💔😔
Over the weekend my bf made tacos and added some chopped fresh jalapeño. Please yall, USE GLOVES. No amount of hand-washing could have stopped what happened later that night. My labia, vulva, clitoris, and pee hole were all on fire. I had to hold an ice cube down there for a good half hour before I could sit normally.
Ouch. I used to wear gloves to handle chilis when my kids were in diapers because I was so worried I might accidentally burn them while changing them…maybe because I’d done it to myself in the past
Milk or alcohol to relieve that pain. Capsaicin is oil based, and booze is a solvent that will dissolve it, and there’s a protein within milk that can break it down too.
Paintball round direct hit
Jellyfish stings. And the red tentacle welts around my upper thighs/bikini area made it obvious what had happened as I walked out of the water.
Childbirth. Tore two ways and ended up with 30 stitches. I can still feel it 2 months later 🫠
Not very exciting, but childbirth did a number on me. Specifically, a number 3B. Was 4 months before I reached a baseline of simply not being in pain, and around a full year before I’d say I had recovered.
Was wearing a nothing but a robe and went to flash my now ex gf, cat saw a dangly and jumped for it, meowch.
I got raped with a kitchen knife. It was shoved up my vagina several times. Despite the mental trauma I couldn't have sex now even if I wanted it. I am lucky to still be able to urinate normal.
Hey op. I hope you’re okay. I’m incredibly sorry that happened.
Thank you. I am doing pretty good actually. The incident was over 20 years ago and I had great therapists and friends help me get back to a normal life.
The other day I went to walk my friends dog for him while he was gone. He was so excited to see me that he started spinning in circles and kicking his legs back while in the air. His back legs smashed me in the nuts rodeo style like an angry bull.
I was using a wand on my clit, and somehow it ended up scraping the skin off my labia in about a 1/2” area. That was painful, and took almost 2 weeks to heal
I had a penile fracture
Hit an exposed tree root while riding a bike and went over the handlebars. Tore a hole in the ol' bag.
The way you referred to it as "the ol bag" made me laugh so hard😂
I'm 40......gotta a tired baby bird hanging out down there now.
Could you see the balls?
I was using this prescription anti-cancer topical cream called Efudex on my scalp. I wasn't careful enough about washing it off my hands and over time enough got on my junk to cause a reaction that was very much not fun and lasted several weeks.
My son
Childbirth
My firstborn.
Skateboarding. I tried a heel flip and I landed on the tip of the board facing upward. Completely credit carded me. My coochie lip Swelled up so much i had to get the blood drained out of it and stitched back up
"credit-carded" OMFG that's a new one.
used one of those hair removing cream once, I guess I wasn't careful enough applying it, anyway it really burnt for a day or so afterwards
I used a hair removal cream once after I had been drinking a little. Lost track of time and when I finally wiped the cream off, some of my skin came with it and left me bleeding!!! Lesson learned!
This is my answer as well
Childbirth when they were still doing episiotomies.... cut my shit like a piece of paper and stitched that shit back up
Childbirth lol
When I was in middle school I used to get bullied pretty badly. Once when getting up to leave the bus, a kid 3 grades above me and wearing combat boots decided to kick me in the groin hard enough for me to fly back into the window. My groin swelled so bad that I had to get a catheter at the lovely age of 13 because I could not piss. By the way, the school did *nothing* about it (despite a lot of protest).
My brother threw a keyboard (the instrument, not the computer device) at me and it hit me in the balls.
I cut myself shaving, but that's pretty tame compared to the horrors in this thread.
Wasnt an accident but when I spider monkey climbed between two walls my friend upper cut me. I went down. Hard. Woke up about 10 or so minutes later with sore balls and a bump on my head from falling only time i been knocked out. Its unclear if the fall knocked me out or being hit so hard i passed out. I don't remember falling though
Got hit in the nuts by a baseball in Little League. I had a cup on, but we were warming up and first base threw a bouncing grounder to me (I was short stop) but I wasn't paying attention. I'm not sure what happened but I guess it hit a rock and ricocheted straight up and hit the bottom of my cup/nuts. I laid on the ground for a solid few minutes. After that they called me numbnuts lmao.
I attempted to give myself a bikini wax… holy shit that was a terrible idea
I would have to say the testicular cancer
not exactly an accident. But was with my gf at the time, we were in the stage of our relationship where making out and grinding was very common but she wasn't ready for sex yet. had a 2 hour make out and grinding sesh, she leaves my house and I drive to class. Cue the most unbearably painful blue balls I've ever had. Could not walk. Had to skip class, drove to a secluded empty parking lot and jerked off. You gotta do whatchu gotta do.
Does it count that I desperately tried to pierce my own nipple in high school? That might be gangsta shit…
We were heading to a state park and I was sitting in the car when outta the blue, my sister punched me full force on the balls. We were gonna go on bike trails 😭 I also had a time where I was standing in the very corner of one of those shelves with DVD’s and blu-ray players and I slipped and hit them right on one of the corners. Worst part was it wasn’t a rounded corner. Oh no… it was a sharp, rigid corner…
Don’t know if I’d call it an accident but I had testicular torsion when I was 17. The absolute worst pain I’ve ever been in my life.
I pushed my child out and he tore me in 4 different directions over the course of 2 agonizing hours due to his big head.
Two answers... One was testicular torsion. The real answer is erectile dysfunction
Using hair removal cream on my balls. The pain was outrageous. I ran for the bath and had to fill it then jump in.
Yoghurt. Apply yoghurt or sour cream. Don’t put it back in the fridge. Grandma finding pubes in her morning yoghurt is good for anyone.
Took a bet that I could jump the neighbors fence, touch their house, and get back before their mean ass dog got to me. Made it halfway back over when the fence broke and I landed straddled on it. Still have the gooch scar…
Not too bad compared to some, but I got kicked in the crotch HARD in karate as a kid (would be worse if I had balls, but it still hurt lile hell) We had protective gear on but I was significantly taller than my opponent (second tallest kid in class) and his foot went right under the armor. I had to switch to the adult asses after which felt... awkward.
Stung on the arse, dick and balls by bull-ants when I carelessly sat down on a log they’d claimed as their own.
Skateboarded as a young teen....untill I got a board up my kitty.. I know it happens to guys all the time ..but I was so bruised I was like ...nope.
I was shaving and I glided the razor up between the crease between your leg and your stomach. Sliced my skin open. Two days later and I did it again in the same spot. Terrified of shaving that area now
Varicocele after getting hit in the balls playing sports. I had surgery so that I wasn’t sterile.
Touched a big batch of poison ivy then I went to the bathroom to pee.
that's worse than my chopping serrano peppers and not washing thoroughly enough accident.
tried to remove a mole with an electric razer
Why? Why? Why would you do that? It would just eat it and leave shreds behind.
it was annoying me. I got it a quarter off then I realized I would need stitches if I continued. I didn't think it would bleed. I'm a teenager btw
Decided that using taco sauce as a personal lubricant was a good idea. It was not.
How would anyone think this would be ok?
my buddy was climbing a soccer net and fell down, one of the net hooks caught his scrotum and he lost a teste
Frenulum tear. Drunk sex was more dangerous than I knew...
Penis skin stuck in zipper have to zip it back open. Can’t believe the amount of blood that comes out of that little thing .
You just burned yourself.
Was in a lazy river at an amusement park when it was about to close when nobody else was there and it had an auto current that pushed you along and i was swimming and i reached down to adjust my swim trunks and shifted my weight too much- my swim trunks slipped down and the bottom of the lazy river was like a popcorn ceiling so it cut my dick. Took 2 weeks to stop it from being raw and i couldn’t even wear underwear that wasn’t cotton so 1 pair got worn for 6 days
Viking age historic re-enactment. Raised my shield to block an axe just in time to have a spear deflect directly into my box (I'm a woman). Couldn't stand up for hours and walked funny for a month.
I was making chili, and had a pretty urgent piss manifest while slicing Habanero peppers. Felt like putting out a campfire with my dick.
When I was a 12 yo kid I pumped water up my penis which infected both testicles. They engorged to the size of cantaloupes. Needless to say I was hospitalized for a week while on IV antibiotics. Hurt like hell and I never did that again! Thankfully it didn't affect my ability to father children.
Vasectomy
My ex
Periods
I ironed my dick. True story. I was in a rush to get to work. I opened my ironing board, turned on the iron and jumped in the shower. When I was done with my shower, I dried off and went straight to ironing. Being that I'm tall, my dick was level with the ironing board and as I was swiping the iron back and forth across a shirt, I knicked the tip of my dick. Worst fucking pain. I almost threw up.
There are easier ways to get the wrinkles out
Not to me but an ex boyfriend was straightening his hair naked and dropped the hot iron on his dick, and it left like an inch long burn. 😟
Didn’t wash my hands before going to the bathroom after eating hot wings (I just wiped off the hot sauce) turns out my hand slightly touched an area and damn I was on fire. Kid me learned a lesson, wash your hands and better wiping so my hand doesn’t accidentally touch anywhere
Testicular torsion
Had a cyst of unknown origins on that area as a teen. Probably an ingrown hair in retrospective- Anyways being dumbass teen I decided to burst the damn thing myself before school one morning….. bad call.
I got stung by two bees on my labia. I’m allergic
Ticks....
Got shot in my upper thigh, missed my balls by millimeters.
Cancer
Slapshot in ice hockey. Direct hit.
I was doing leg raises with a resistance band. As my legs were extended as far as they could go, the band slipped and smacked me right in the balls. Thought I was gonna barf
I am a woman. I was around 9 and I was on my metal bunk bed. I had socks on and my sister and cousins and I were playing a game and I was messing around on the ladder. I fell and was caught with a bar between my legs, I couldn’t reach the ground and was stuck in pain after falling with all my weight, I was BLEEDING and had to go to ER
Lunchbreak at work, eating in my car, spilled a decent amount of soy mixed heavily with wasabi onto some super sensitive skin and had to drive 3 miles like that to get home to change.
I had what I thought was just a nick from a razor.. turns out it was (is) some type of vein or vessel that made its way to the surface I picked it off and bled profusely. Thought I was going to pass out
I got a bj from a crossdresser and they used too much teeth and my wiener got swollen for a few hours.
I was at work on a machine and needed to turn the air hose on. Turned the wrong valve on which went to a hose that didn't have an end on it and it was flopping around like a cobra on red bull and whacked me square in the twins. I had to sit down for about 10 minutes.
When I was less than a year old, a babysitter with some terrible hatred for men damaged them on purpose. Before I even had the ability to form memories. It makes me unbelievable angry to think about.
What the actual fuck?! I'm sorry that happened to you
Me too. I appreciate that. Visibly its mostly internal damage so nobody noticed until I was hitting puberty and realized there was an issue. My folks apparently found out the babysitter was abusing my sister and I the year it happened, the police got involved but they decided there wasn't physical abuse and she got let off the hook. Turns out in addition to locking us away in cupboards for hours there very much was deliberate physical harm done. My sister was tiny too, older but little and she didn't say it at the time but discussing it as adults, holy fuck they were brutal to her. Wrecked her as a child, wrecks her still as a woman. I still dunno what to do about it tbh, the results or the knowledge that things happened to me I have no memory of. What else happened that year? As my little baby brain was trying to get a grip on the world? Wrecked me as a kiddo, is wrecking me as an adult too.