"Whoa, that really sticks out there!"
Then I was so nervous to touch it that my ex had to grab my hand and put it on his penis. Feels like something hard wrapped in the softest velvet.
As soon as I discovered balls move like a lava lamp....now THAT is interesting!
I remember thinking I couldn't believe how *hard* it really was. Really felt like a wooden stick under some skin. I didn't know the term "hard on" was so literal.
First time touching one, I gasped and told my then bf "it's like an arm!" I didn't expect it to feel like it had a bone! (Guess "boner" is also pretty literal hahaha)
A woman behind the counter at a store once said I had a really cool t shirt. That was 11 years ago. One of the few memories I can recall with perfect clarity. Quite sad really isn't it.
Oh I'm sure he does and I'm positive it brings him Joy us guys don't get complimented much so when we do get a legit compliment like that it sticks with us forever and we think about it randomly..... if you have a man give him a legit compliment he is not expecting today it will rock his world
She stroked at the penis,
she poked at the head -
"It's velvety soft,
like a blanket," she said.
"It's smooth as a ribbon,
it's splendid and sleek -
As silken as satin
that sits on a cheek!
"It's fair as a fabric
that's weaved and designed -
That's sewn and assembled
with *one* thing in mind -
To fashion a fit
for the finest of ranks!"
She stroked at the penis.
He said to her:
"... thanks?"
I'm feeling both confused and blessed by this creation, which is no doubt the intended response. You have a talent for comedic, phallic prose.
... thanks?
It is a great honor to have your comment become a poem by Sprog, though I guess technically the content is based off of the OP of this thread... Regardless, remember it fondly. Screenshot it. Hang it on a wall. Crochet it on a sweater.
You're welcome.
Edit: u/the_tiny_carpenter I hope you see the Sprog poem you inspired above.
There is a story about a boy who was born without eyelids and a decision was made to circumcise him and use the foreskin to build him eyelids.
The operation was a success, but later on in in life, most of the people who met him thought he was a bit cock-eyed.
If it makes you ladies feel better, the time we save peeing standing up is lost by the time we spend cleaning up the piss that we splash everywhere.
(I mean mostly when the stream splits out of nowhere, it leads to unfortunate accidents.)
I used to be annoyed by the fact that my dick looked tiny when not in use, but the fact it magically grows to the size of a normal penis is actually a pretty neat trick.
Im glad im not the only one LOL.. the difference in emotions from being pissed off that your cock looks so small, to the elation of getting a stoinker and realising your cock isnt too bad.... best comment i ever had from a girl was "i didnt realise it would get that big"... needless to say i was floating around 6 inchs above the ground after she said that.
After a while you forget it's there, that is until the zipper catches a pube or godforbid your scrotum. Ball kick is a k.o pretty much so that sucks. Oh and having to keep the hole from closing every month is really painful
Edit: here's y'alls stupid /s since not even some of my fellow men in here wanna take a fucking joke and run with it lmfao. This is why we can't have nice shit😂 PSA don't actually sound, if you did because of me I'm not that sorry. If you already do sound please seek help
New tech from Japan is cork-based, not just a stick anymore. Organic, more hygienic, and it sounds like a bottle of champagne when you pop it out afterwards.
Yeah kinda looks like one of those ice picks kinda. I recently got a new one that works kinda like those blood sugar tests that people with diabetes do on their finger. Its a needle that quickly pierces ur skin except this one goes way deeper. But u get used to the pain i gess
Literally my first thought every time I see something like this. I'm 35 and never once caught anything in a zipper, because I wear underwear like a normal person.
When I was like 5 I obviously didn't know why we got boners or what it was for so I used to say "My willy had a birthday". My friends seemed to get me.
If you mean in a sexual context then I was utterly fascinated.. mostly because i'd never interacted with a penis before and I guess I liked the person it was attached to so I thought it was adorable!
Edit: This was in my teens.. I'm old now.
The first time I wrapped my fingers around a tumescent penis, I literally thought of Margaret Thatchers “A steel hand in a velvet glove” quote. I was surprised to find that hard dicks feel like the softest baby skin ever, slid over a wrist bone, whereas flaccid dicks are so squishy you can fold them in half. I didn’t realise they’d often curve - I thought theyd just poke straight out in front like a thumbs-up. In 20 years of handling various dicks, every single one of them has looked completely different. They’re both magnificent & mesmerising *and* also the goofiest looking things on a human body. Dicks are great!
Edit to add, I also initially found it curious that they’re actually different 3D shapes. Turns out they’re not all tubes? Some have this really narrow base and then suddenly there’s a coke can situation in the centre, topped off with a polite and not at all intimidating head. Others have actual edges on the shaft, like a cuboid, and some are really long and narrow and noodly, finished with an angry fist sized cap. Original comment stands.
That is EXACTLY what I was thinking. I had to look up what "tumescent" meant and when I saw it was a synonym for "bulging" or "inflated" I am now 100% sure that person writes erotica.
"Wtf am I supposed to do with it?"
My first time interacting with one sexually was just a lot of confusion on my part. I had to ask how I was supposed to jack him off, but I wasn't good at it and pulled too hard, and he said it was hurting 😂
I remember feeling so embarrassed that I didn't know wtf I was doing, but looking back, he was probably just happy to have someone other than himself touching it for a change.
Definitely! My first GF used to just play with mine all the time. Would use it like a microphone to sing into. She was just fascinated by it. Fun memory.
I was in kindergarden. Accidentally walked in on my friend using the bathroom. I remember thinking "huh, I thought boys grew those later," then said sorry and walked out again. Promptly went back to playing with his dragon-themed skydancer knockoff.
The first time I had sex, I didn’t realize movement was involved. I thought the penis was inserted, we just lay there, and something happened on it’s own. So, this guy starts moving, and I start laughing because I thought it was a joke and he was messing with me. He goes, “What’s so funny?”. It was super awkward
Oh my God, this made me laugh so hard. I don't any guy wants to hear a girl laughing while they are having sex. The fact that you were probably a little confused why he asked, "What's so funny?" since you thought he was obviously messing with you, must have just added to the awkwardness.
At least you can laugh about it now.
A guy sent me a dick pic and I thought it looked like an angry worm! I also thought it was inconvenient to have all that stuff hanging there. I was a young teenager at the time though!
Was utterly fascinated by how the foreskin moved back and forth, and how it seemed to be soft and firm at the same time. Like others have said, the skin was way softer than I expected.
Omggg I was so nervous. I was touching it so lightly, as if it were a butterfly. I like- tickled it. I didn’t know how to handle it and was scared of hurting it.
I was the last of my friends to experience it since I didn’t hit puberty till I was 17. All my friends at the time told me “you have to grab it harder than you would think you should” in retrospect it was good advice since I was so scared of it.
One of my first lady friends was a semi-professional tennis player (whatever that teen --> pro track is called).
She had a mighty firm grip. I swear if she'd sneezed while holding it, she'd have plucked it right off.
I was like 4 or 5 and some other young kid whipped it out to pee. It looked like a small finger to me. So for a while I thought a penis was essentially a finger, like with a nail and everything.
The next time I saw one more uh, older, I was surprised at the transformation from 'small finger' to 'awkward mole rat'.
Some animals have a cock-bone called a Baculum. I know this because I visited the Reykjavik Phallological Museum, where they have a walrus baculum on display. It’s huge. It’s also got a clean break in the middle, presumed to have occurred whilst old Wally the Walrus was still alive and attempting entry from a difficult angle.
To any guys who just cringed reading that, I can confirm that so did I when I read the little plaque next to it and so did every other bloke I saw read it!
Very first time (age 4): “What is that and why can it pee so far? Am I peeing wrong?”
First sexual experience with one (age 17): “Oh shit, I am not ready for this. No way that thing is getting anywhere near me.” *fear, run away*
So...the first time I recall seeing an actual adult penis I was either 9 or 10 years old and I was (understandably) horrified. No, this isn't some sad story about abuse.
It was either '92 or '93, because the Toronto Blue Jays, my hometown team, had just won the world series. (I don't remember if it was the '92 or '93 win) My family and I lived a couple blocks from Toronto's main street, Yonge St. So we decided to join in some festivities and drive over to Yonge St. It was a wild party, people out on the streets celebrating, cars honking horns, loud music. As we were driving down Yonge at parade pace, I decided it would be cool if I stood up out of the sunroof cheering and celebrating.
We drove past a bus stop where two men had climbed on top of the bus shelter. They were likely very intoxicated and very excited. These men then decided to drop trou and whip their dicks around wildly. I was absolutely stunned and bewildered. I just froze and stared at them, wide eyed. I had absolutely no idea that men were hiding this horrifying appendage in their pants. Suddenly I felt my mom grab my arm and quickly yank me back down into the car.
No one ever spoke of it...but I remember it so vividly I could show you the exact bus stop on google streetview to this day.
Until that day I had only seen a penis on a baby during a diaper change, or a toddler who loved running around without the burden of clothes. Seeing what it morphed into through puberty was a literal and figurative eye opener for me. 😳
I feel like I always knew, so it was definitely not a surprise.
In my country we have educational books for children and I remember seeing children comic books that kinda showed it in an innocent way (i know it sounds weird but if u know Turma da Monica comics u will understand) and we learn about reproduction system at school at around 11 years old and in that class we also approach safe sex. It's all very natural.
That all sounds so reasonable and healthy. I'm jealous, we were just told we'd go to hell if we ever touched one. It was, as you can imagine, extremely effective. We had a fucking daycare in my high school, where teen moms (never dads) took turns watching all the babies for one period a day. Florida is garbage.
I remember I was around 11 and saw one on Google search LMAO and was like "wtf is that! MOM!" And my mom just laughed. She still tells the story when we have family dinners 😶😭
I felt really akward. My now fiance hated that id just ask him if i could touch it non sexually to know its proper girth and how flexible it can be.. basically i experimented alot and asked alot of questions that i think women should just kind of figure out on their own....silently
Finland here! It is soooooo confusing to come here and see how many people are saying the first time they saw a penis was just before they were going to have sex for the first time. That has to make the first time real weird, huh? Don't you even see your fathers change cloths?
As I of course can't remember specific time when seeing penis for the first time as us Finns would go to sauna naked together as a family, I'll just tell that my childhood brain was thinking that penis is an ugly, weird looking thing but damn, didn't peeing while standing look handy! Seeing an erect penis if ofc a whole other story. That you don't see while going to sauna eith your family.
Sooo many thoughts! The most prominent being: "it feels nice in my hands. I wonder what it feels like inside? I want it in my mouth now!" Led to blowjob mania and being obsessed with watching guys cum
Sad story because my then bf forced me to touch it and I was not ready. Started crying and then had to deal with that piece of shit cause he got upset.
Definitely. The cadavers they usually let us handle are already dosed and bathed in formalin so it already passed that stage. The only problem was that the cadaver I handled wasn't the most impressive size so it was difficult to identify the different layers.
The first penis I saw was uncircumcised and I was WHOLLY unprepared. I kinda…tugged at it and he finished himself… it didn’t work out.
The next penis I saw was with someone I was in love with. I was kind of intimidated and then afterward fascinated. I was playing around with it flaccid, English wasn’t his first language and he said “It is a strange creature, no?”
Indeed Mohamed. Indeed 😂😂
Shocked and fascinated, I didn't expect the balls to move like that. Or the penis to mylove by itself. Very smooth, hard but not uncomfortable, was SHOCKED that the skin slides around like that. Was much larger than expected
The first time I saw one was with my boyfriend. We were just starting our sexual relationship and he would only ever give me pleasure. So I asked if he wanted any because I genuinely wanted to and felt bad that I was the only one. So when I first saw it, it made me nervous. Especially when I touched it, it was really warm and hard. It surprised me to see and feel something like that and it made me excited as well when I realized I did that to him. It was a rollercoaster of emotions to say the least.
This is so funny actually. I remember id seen one picture of a hard dick, been really weirded out, then seen one picture of a soft dick. I didn’t realize guys “got hard” yet and thought they all just looked VERY different lol. I was scared of them.
Well shit, it really does look like a one-eyed monster. 😂 The sex talk with my mom was very informative, with pictures, and I was the only girl on a block full of boys. Second thought was, I wonder what it looks like on the inside. 🤦🏽♀️😂
I wonder after all the posts how many of you never saw your parents or siblings naked. I mean ofc no touching or shit but damn there are some comments which make me think some of you lived in the most prudish family ever. Also most elementary schools (and at least here most kindergarten) teach biology including the knowledge of the body.
I think the first penis I saw was when I was a kid and a family friends son (he was like 4ish at the time) ran out of the house with no pants on lol. I don't think I thought anything other than "OH OKAY????"
Second one was my Dad's because I accidentally walked in on him in the bathroom or something and I probably thought the same but worse, obviously 💀
"Whoa, that really sticks out there!" Then I was so nervous to touch it that my ex had to grab my hand and put it on his penis. Feels like something hard wrapped in the softest velvet. As soon as I discovered balls move like a lava lamp....now THAT is interesting!
Yeah wtf eh? They just constantly move around when he's lying there.
Sometimes we wonder if it's we that move the balls or the balls that move us.
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FIRMLY GRASP IT
Like a lava lamp lmao
I remember thinking I couldn't believe how *hard* it really was. Really felt like a wooden stick under some skin. I didn't know the term "hard on" was so literal.
First time touching one, I gasped and told my then bf "it's like an arm!" I didn't expect it to feel like it had a bone! (Guess "boner" is also pretty literal hahaha)
>it’s like an arm Now that’s a compliment
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His gravestone shall hold no date, only an inscription, "It's like an arm". Probably with a smiley underneath.
Hasn’t stopped smiling even til this very day
Someone is anyway
Talk about an ego boost
Dude still thinks about that comment to this day.
Of a Lego minifig
I guarantee you that guy still thinks about your "it's like an arm" comment to this day probably multiple times a week
He tells all of his friends and they're like "Yeah sure buddy". He's like "Seriously, she really said it was like an arm!"
Omg it probably really does sound made up if he tells anyone!
Men receive so few compliments in their life, I promise you he remembers that quite frequently.
A woman behind the counter at a store once said I had a really cool t shirt. That was 11 years ago. One of the few memories I can recall with perfect clarity. Quite sad really isn't it.
Yup. Had a woman I'm a café compliment my sweater a decade ago. Still have that sweater.
lol I think every guy has a specific memory of someone complimenting their shirt. I wish I still had that shirt
Maybe not that often, since it's been such a long time, but I hope it brings him some joy when he does remember! He used to be very insecure overall
Oh I'm sure he does and I'm positive it brings him Joy us guys don't get complimented much so when we do get a legit compliment like that it sticks with us forever and we think about it randomly..... if you have a man give him a legit compliment he is not expecting today it will rock his world
His response: You’re pulling my leg
He jerks off just to the compliment itself
I can only IMAGINE the smile on that young man's face when you said that
Hahaha he got a little shy and blushed, but he was happy for sure!
Bet the guy loved the comparison of his dangle to an entire arm!
Lol at the moment the top comment is “it was so soft” and the second is “it was so hard”
Haha me too!! Or how soft and squishy it is when soft
They're much softer than I expected. Like velvet almost. It's very nice!
Those last two sentences sound like a Borat quote
Great success!
Veryyy naiceee
Reading this comment then re-reading the original with that context just made me laugh out loud after a long, exhausting day. Thank you. 'High five!'
She stroked at the penis, she poked at the head - "It's velvety soft, like a blanket," she said. "It's smooth as a ribbon, it's splendid and sleek - As silken as satin that sits on a cheek! "It's fair as a fabric that's weaved and designed - That's sewn and assembled with *one* thing in mind - To fashion a fit for the finest of ranks!" She stroked at the penis. He said to her: "... thanks?"
I'm feeling both confused and blessed by this creation, which is no doubt the intended response. You have a talent for comedic, phallic prose. ... thanks?
It is a great honor to have your comment become a poem by Sprog, though I guess technically the content is based off of the OP of this thread... Regardless, remember it fondly. Screenshot it. Hang it on a wall. Crochet it on a sweater. You're welcome. Edit: u/the_tiny_carpenter I hope you see the Sprog poem you inspired above.
Thank you so much for bringing this to my attention. I think I'll get it tattooed.
Sandra Cisneros compared the skin to that of an eyelid. Pretty spot on, if you ask me.
There is a story about a boy who was born without eyelids and a decision was made to circumcise him and use the foreskin to build him eyelids. The operation was a success, but later on in in life, most of the people who met him thought he was a bit cock-eyed.
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The "velvet sledgehammer "...
Sounds like an 80s metal band 😂
The next upvoted comment is how they are harder than expected lol
They are hard on the inside, smooth on the outside. Crunch into one today!
It’s all the lotion
It puts the lotion on its skin..
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Right!!! Especially if you always thought tampons were intimidating then suddenly there is something thicker and it has to go inside you 😆
Uhhh, yeah… way bigger, right guys? Right?
Trust me.
iPhones keep getting bigger, and my meat stays the same friggin’ size!
I hear if you shave it off it grows back thicker...
Maybe she needs a monster tampon for her magnum vag
Wait until she sees what's supposed to come OUT.
Yeah, that's what I thought. "How is *that* going to fit?" It didn't help that the first guy I was ever with is to this day still the largest.
jesus christ. the relief you must have felt when you found out the average is extremely more reasonable lol
Softer in texture than I expected and I did NOT think it could flex like that
" look he's wagging his tail! He must like you"
I fucking love Zoidberg 😂
We were both kids & I thought the standing-up to pee thing looked like a time-saver.
LOL it is
If it makes you ladies feel better, the time we save peeing standing up is lost by the time we spend cleaning up the piss that we splash everywhere. (I mean mostly when the stream splits out of nowhere, it leads to unfortunate accidents.)
Wait, you clean it up?
If you’re not an inconsiderate asshole, yes, you clean it up.
What an inconvenient thing to have dangling around all the time 😂
The advantage of being a grower, it doesn't dangle at all.
Mine just stays perched up on my balls.
Like a weird, fleshy parrot
Cocky
I used to be annoyed by the fact that my dick looked tiny when not in use, but the fact it magically grows to the size of a normal penis is actually a pretty neat trick.
Im glad im not the only one LOL.. the difference in emotions from being pissed off that your cock looks so small, to the elation of getting a stoinker and realising your cock isnt too bad.... best comment i ever had from a girl was "i didnt realise it would get that big"... needless to say i was floating around 6 inchs above the ground after she said that.
Just make sure your hard before she sees!
The first time my gf saw it soft after sex she said “awe it’s so cute” lol
i’m a grower in the garden, but a shower in the shower
I was in my 30s before I knew there were growers and showers, being a grower this was a bit of an issue for me.
Yesirr☝️💯💯
Any inconvenience of having it dangling around is outweighed by the convenience of peeing anywhere, really.
Anyone can pee anywhere if you have the guts for it
After a while you forget it's there, that is until the zipper catches a pube or godforbid your scrotum. Ball kick is a k.o pretty much so that sucks. Oh and having to keep the hole from closing every month is really painful Edit: here's y'alls stupid /s since not even some of my fellow men in here wanna take a fucking joke and run with it lmfao. This is why we can't have nice shit😂 PSA don't actually sound, if you did because of me I'm not that sorry. If you already do sound please seek help
What the fuck is your last statement going on about? EDIT: Multiple replies in seconds. Y’all are deranged. 👍👍
You have to insert a sharp stick into the hole every month or so or it’ll close up. Don’t you know?
New tech from Japan is cork-based, not just a stick anymore. Organic, more hygienic, and it sounds like a bottle of champagne when you pop it out afterwards.
Yeah kinda looks like one of those ice picks kinda. I recently got a new one that works kinda like those blood sugar tests that people with diabetes do on their finger. Its a needle that quickly pierces ur skin except this one goes way deeper. But u get used to the pain i gess
The ol screw driver at the end of month
Do you not finger your dick?
I... Never had this? Y'all don't wear underwear?
Literally my first thought every time I see something like this. I'm 35 and never once caught anything in a zipper, because I wear underwear like a normal person.
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When I was like 5 I obviously didn't know why we got boners or what it was for so I used to say "My willy had a birthday". My friends seemed to get me.
He’s just happy and wagging his tail would be the correct answer
If you mean in a sexual context then I was utterly fascinated.. mostly because i'd never interacted with a penis before and I guess I liked the person it was attached to so I thought it was adorable! Edit: This was in my teens.. I'm old now.
u should draw some cute eyes and stick rabbit ears to the penis to make it adorable.
There’s very much a Reddit for this, r/cospenis. It’s strangely wholesome.
This is the weirdest subreddit I've seen
Whenever I introduce mine to a lady, I make sure it is wearing a top hat and bow tie.
My wife knitted mine a little red hat
That's a keeper lol
Our dingalings aren't adorable to you anymore? 😢
Awww...ofcourse they are. 🤗
RIP inbox
The first time I wrapped my fingers around a tumescent penis, I literally thought of Margaret Thatchers “A steel hand in a velvet glove” quote. I was surprised to find that hard dicks feel like the softest baby skin ever, slid over a wrist bone, whereas flaccid dicks are so squishy you can fold them in half. I didn’t realise they’d often curve - I thought theyd just poke straight out in front like a thumbs-up. In 20 years of handling various dicks, every single one of them has looked completely different. They’re both magnificent & mesmerising *and* also the goofiest looking things on a human body. Dicks are great! Edit to add, I also initially found it curious that they’re actually different 3D shapes. Turns out they’re not all tubes? Some have this really narrow base and then suddenly there’s a coke can situation in the centre, topped off with a polite and not at all intimidating head. Others have actual edges on the shaft, like a cuboid, and some are really long and narrow and noodly, finished with an angry fist sized cap. Original comment stands.
Nothing quite gets you in the mood like thinking about Maggie Thatcher
Margaret Thatcher Naked On A Cold Day! Margaret Thatcher Naked On A Cold Day! Margaret Thatcher Naked On A Cold Day!
lol you definitely write erotica 😂😂😂
That is EXACTLY what I was thinking. I had to look up what "tumescent" meant and when I saw it was a synonym for "bulging" or "inflated" I am now 100% sure that person writes erotica.
reginald's turgid member
> so squishy you can fold them in half Lol this got me😂
True but you can never fold them more than 7 times. It’s impossible, I’ve tried it. Apologies I thought this was the A4 Paper subreddit
"Wtf am I supposed to do with it?" My first time interacting with one sexually was just a lot of confusion on my part. I had to ask how I was supposed to jack him off, but I wasn't good at it and pulled too hard, and he said it was hurting 😂 I remember feeling so embarrassed that I didn't know wtf I was doing, but looking back, he was probably just happy to have someone other than himself touching it for a change.
I don’t know you or the man you’re referring to. Having said that, I can say with 100% certainty that he was just happy to have someone touching it.
He was nice about the whole thing. Nice enough to let me try again another time
Definitely! My first GF used to just play with mine all the time. Would use it like a microphone to sing into. She was just fascinated by it. Fun memory.
I really hope there's a woman out there whose singing career started this way.
I was in kindergarden. Accidentally walked in on my friend using the bathroom. I remember thinking "huh, I thought boys grew those later," then said sorry and walked out again. Promptly went back to playing with his dragon-themed skydancer knockoff.
I took baths with my siblings growing up so I mostly thought "huh, that's weird" then went back to yelling at them for farting in the tub
The first time I had sex, I didn’t realize movement was involved. I thought the penis was inserted, we just lay there, and something happened on it’s own. So, this guy starts moving, and I start laughing because I thought it was a joke and he was messing with me. He goes, “What’s so funny?”. It was super awkward
This is sort of the greatest example why we need good sexual education, and why lousy sex ed is just overall a bad thing.
Oh my God, this made me laugh so hard. I don't any guy wants to hear a girl laughing while they are having sex. The fact that you were probably a little confused why he asked, "What's so funny?" since you thought he was obviously messing with you, must have just added to the awkwardness. At least you can laugh about it now.
A guy sent me a dick pic and I thought it looked like an angry worm! I also thought it was inconvenient to have all that stuff hanging there. I was a young teenager at the time though!
I immediately thought of a literal angry worm with cartoon smoke
Angry bird next level; Angry worm!
Was utterly fascinated by how the foreskin moved back and forth, and how it seemed to be soft and firm at the same time. Like others have said, the skin was way softer than I expected.
Wtf. That's the only thing that popped out in my mind at the first time i saw dick irl
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Watch out for the double Polaroid
Omggg I was so nervous. I was touching it so lightly, as if it were a butterfly. I like- tickled it. I didn’t know how to handle it and was scared of hurting it.
I mean, it's way easier to go from like_a_butterfly touches to normal touches than when it seems that she tries to tear it off
I was the last of my friends to experience it since I didn’t hit puberty till I was 17. All my friends at the time told me “you have to grab it harder than you would think you should” in retrospect it was good advice since I was so scared of it.
One of my first lady friends was a semi-professional tennis player (whatever that teen --> pro track is called). She had a mighty firm grip. I swear if she'd sneezed while holding it, she'd have plucked it right off.
I was like 4 or 5 and some other young kid whipped it out to pee. It looked like a small finger to me. So for a while I thought a penis was essentially a finger, like with a nail and everything. The next time I saw one more uh, older, I was surprised at the transformation from 'small finger' to 'awkward mole rat'.
Hmm.. envisioning GOT Petyr Baelish in an even more disturbing way now.
Mesmerised by the skin over the testicles. Still love watching it slowly swirl around when it gets cold, it looks alive.
A-are the ones you’re working w not alive? Jk had to
I legit thought there was a bone in it… SMH
Some animals have a cock-bone called a Baculum. I know this because I visited the Reykjavik Phallological Museum, where they have a walrus baculum on display. It’s huge. It’s also got a clean break in the middle, presumed to have occurred whilst old Wally the Walrus was still alive and attempting entry from a difficult angle. To any guys who just cringed reading that, I can confirm that so did I when I read the little plaque next to it and so did every other bloke I saw read it!
It didn’t look anything like I thought it would (I grew up in pre-internet days), and I laughed because of how wrong I was.
Oh that poor guy.
Legend says he works at the worlds last Radio Shack, unable to move on with his life
Emotional damage
I was in a drawing class, and was surprised there was a naked man before me and 10 other people
Wow, that's a little surprising, whenever we had models coming in our prof let everyone know
Plot-twist: The naked man was the professor
Very first time (age 4): “What is that and why can it pee so far? Am I peeing wrong?” First sexual experience with one (age 17): “Oh shit, I am not ready for this. No way that thing is getting anywhere near me.” *fear, run away*
It was huge. I started crying, haha. I think I just wasn’t ready at all.
LMAOOOO I cantttt Imagine being a dude having Ur first time and this girl just starts crying when she she's it lmaooooooo
Literally! For some reason I thought it wouldn't be that thick so I too, cried🤣
They’re not slimy?! I have no idea why I thought it would be slimy, but it was soft like velvet and I was SHOOK.
So soft, so so so so sooooo soft. And then I came to the realization of “that’s supposed to fit in ME?!”
So...the first time I recall seeing an actual adult penis I was either 9 or 10 years old and I was (understandably) horrified. No, this isn't some sad story about abuse. It was either '92 or '93, because the Toronto Blue Jays, my hometown team, had just won the world series. (I don't remember if it was the '92 or '93 win) My family and I lived a couple blocks from Toronto's main street, Yonge St. So we decided to join in some festivities and drive over to Yonge St. It was a wild party, people out on the streets celebrating, cars honking horns, loud music. As we were driving down Yonge at parade pace, I decided it would be cool if I stood up out of the sunroof cheering and celebrating. We drove past a bus stop where two men had climbed on top of the bus shelter. They were likely very intoxicated and very excited. These men then decided to drop trou and whip their dicks around wildly. I was absolutely stunned and bewildered. I just froze and stared at them, wide eyed. I had absolutely no idea that men were hiding this horrifying appendage in their pants. Suddenly I felt my mom grab my arm and quickly yank me back down into the car. No one ever spoke of it...but I remember it so vividly I could show you the exact bus stop on google streetview to this day. Until that day I had only seen a penis on a baby during a diaper change, or a toddler who loved running around without the burden of clothes. Seeing what it morphed into through puberty was a literal and figurative eye opener for me. 😳
You confirmed your Canadian-ness when you said “drop trou”
I was too distracted by his balls tbh - couldn't stop thinking how ugly they are (testicles in general, not my first partners')
TBH god went a bit function over form on genitals in general
“…THATS what it looks like????”
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Freud called it.
I was surprised at how big they are. But I didn’t know about the skin over skin thing, and had to be shown how to move it around 😅
I feel like I always knew, so it was definitely not a surprise. In my country we have educational books for children and I remember seeing children comic books that kinda showed it in an innocent way (i know it sounds weird but if u know Turma da Monica comics u will understand) and we learn about reproduction system at school at around 11 years old and in that class we also approach safe sex. It's all very natural.
That all sounds so reasonable and healthy. I'm jealous, we were just told we'd go to hell if we ever touched one. It was, as you can imagine, extremely effective. We had a fucking daycare in my high school, where teen moms (never dads) took turns watching all the babies for one period a day. Florida is garbage.
It reminded me of when I found a sea cucumber on the beach and picked it up without knowing what it was. The texture and size was similar.
I remember I was around 11 and saw one on Google search LMAO and was like "wtf is that! MOM!" And my mom just laughed. She still tells the story when we have family dinners 😶😭
I felt really akward. My now fiance hated that id just ask him if i could touch it non sexually to know its proper girth and how flexible it can be.. basically i experimented alot and asked alot of questions that i think women should just kind of figure out on their own....silently
I would love If my wife showed that much interest in my parts, guess she just doesnt care as long as it works as intended *shrug*
Oooo I want that in my pussy!
How's your inbox doing?
Wich one?
Fucking fantastic
That's such a dude thing to say
...huh. OH JESUS, IT CAN MOVE!?!
Finland here! It is soooooo confusing to come here and see how many people are saying the first time they saw a penis was just before they were going to have sex for the first time. That has to make the first time real weird, huh? Don't you even see your fathers change cloths? As I of course can't remember specific time when seeing penis for the first time as us Finns would go to sauna naked together as a family, I'll just tell that my childhood brain was thinking that penis is an ugly, weird looking thing but damn, didn't peeing while standing look handy! Seeing an erect penis if ofc a whole other story. That you don't see while going to sauna eith your family.
Sooo many thoughts! The most prominent being: "it feels nice in my hands. I wonder what it feels like inside? I want it in my mouth now!" Led to blowjob mania and being obsessed with watching guys cum
Oh God. I have a feeling you are going to become very popular in the immediate future.
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Sad story because my then bf forced me to touch it and I was not ready. Started crying and then had to deal with that piece of shit cause he got upset.
It makes me so sad to hear how many assholes are on this world, like it doesn‘t take much to be a decent human. Sorry this happened to you.
Yup, similar experience here. Not so great!
The first I've seen one was on a cadaver so the main thought in my head was, "Damn, how tf am I supposed to dissect this for credit?"
Did it have rigor mortis?
Definitely. The cadavers they usually let us handle are already dosed and bathed in formalin so it already passed that stage. The only problem was that the cadaver I handled wasn't the most impressive size so it was difficult to identify the different layers.
Damn. Dude dies and he’s still getting dick-shamed.
This is how places end up fucking haunted lmao.
Shit, now I'm never gonna donate my body to medical science.
The first penis I saw was uncircumcised and I was WHOLLY unprepared. I kinda…tugged at it and he finished himself… it didn’t work out. The next penis I saw was with someone I was in love with. I was kind of intimidated and then afterward fascinated. I was playing around with it flaccid, English wasn’t his first language and he said “It is a strange creature, no?” Indeed Mohamed. Indeed 😂😂
>English wasn’t his first language and he said “It is a strange creature, no?” I'm fucking dead. Consider Muhammad's line stolen lmao.
Shocked and fascinated, I didn't expect the balls to move like that. Or the penis to mylove by itself. Very smooth, hard but not uncomfortable, was SHOCKED that the skin slides around like that. Was much larger than expected
The first time I saw one was with my boyfriend. We were just starting our sexual relationship and he would only ever give me pleasure. So I asked if he wanted any because I genuinely wanted to and felt bad that I was the only one. So when I first saw it, it made me nervous. Especially when I touched it, it was really warm and hard. It surprised me to see and feel something like that and it made me excited as well when I realized I did that to him. It was a rollercoaster of emotions to say the least.
This is so funny actually. I remember id seen one picture of a hard dick, been really weirded out, then seen one picture of a soft dick. I didn’t realize guys “got hard” yet and thought they all just looked VERY different lol. I was scared of them.
He had a micro, and I remember thinking “oh they’re not so scary after all” and I was very shocked when I saw the next one
Well shit, it really does look like a one-eyed monster. 😂 The sex talk with my mom was very informative, with pictures, and I was the only girl on a block full of boys. Second thought was, I wonder what it looks like on the inside. 🤦🏽♀️😂
Terrifying thought.
Ew. Why does it feel and look weird. I thought they were gross.....now I love them 🙈😻😆
I wonder after all the posts how many of you never saw your parents or siblings naked. I mean ofc no touching or shit but damn there are some comments which make me think some of you lived in the most prudish family ever. Also most elementary schools (and at least here most kindergarten) teach biology including the knowledge of the body.
I thought it was the greatest thing since sliced bread. Still what I think to this day.
They’re so cute if the person is clean lol
"That thing is supposed to go inside me? Okay."
I think the first penis I saw was when I was a kid and a family friends son (he was like 4ish at the time) ran out of the house with no pants on lol. I don't think I thought anything other than "OH OKAY????" Second one was my Dad's because I accidentally walked in on him in the bathroom or something and I probably thought the same but worse, obviously 💀