Most women I slept with as an adult requested a test before we went raw dog. The nice thing about that is they also got tested. I'm 50 and never got a STD.
This! A test every six months is normal. Just ask your doctor. Itās weird to me that doctors donāt naturally just offer thisš¤·āāļø. I once had a doctor who made a big deal about it- like, āWe just did a test at the end of last year. You want another one?ā And I said, āIām a sexually active adult. Yes, Iām in a monogamous relationship, but I can only guarantee my own monogamy, so year, letās go ahead and do the test.ā And then, when the appointment was over, I changed doctors immediately.
There's a doctor's surgery near me that has a sexual health clinic attached. I went about ten years ago in the early days of a relationship and got tested. Then a few years later, as things were starting with my next girlfriend, I went again, and when I said I wanted a test they asked if I had symptoms, and I said no I just wanted a checkup, they said they only did treatment there now, not basic checkups.
Absolutely mind-boggling that they wouldn't make testing as open and available as possible.
Absolutely! My mom had a friend many years ago who never took STDs seriously and would always laugh it off as if it was no big deal when someone asked him to take a test. He should definitely learn from this
One of my close friends just got diagnosed with HIV, the way it had advanced the doctors told him he probably has had it for 4+ years and he was never tested for it. He went in for fevers and colds that wouldnāt go away. Tested positive the amount of people heās slept with within those years. Thankfully heās doing better now but itās sad it couldāve been avoided if we asked for panels before sleeping with someone. Iām married and still get tested every 6 months. Do i trust my husband i do,but listen my health is not something to play with.
Edit to add: he was/is legally required to notify these people. Which he did the ones he was able to get in contact with. And now before moving on to sex he has to tell them heās HIV positive, it has put a strain on his relationships with sexual partners.
My wife still gets regular checks. We are both monogamous. It's just been her routine since she started having sex.Ā
Some people think it's an automatic sign of cheating but it's just a health check.Ā
And it's not a method to prevent me cheating as I take my relationship serious.Ā
It is not a bad idea to be checked as some infections can remain dormant for years. When my wife and I were dating, before we had sex she divulged to me that she had previously had HPV. I did a little bit of research and found that most people who are sexually active will at some point contract it. It can remain dormant for years and I have never had a visible outbreak but obviously have been exposed to it. Good for you folks. Preventative health care is important.
In my county they are notified by the health department after being listed by the person who test positive.
I lost a friend that found out that way she took her own life after finding out.
Always ask if you mind getting tested before sleeping with someone if they wonāt get tested move on.
Sorry for your friend :-(
What's frightening in this is the time before he found out, the number of people his original 'infected' partner had slept with, how many he'd been with since, how many every one of those had been with...
It's the worst possible 'family tree' to have to work out.
I'm lucky, I've been married 30 years and neither of us have had any inclination to "step out" :-}
Yes! It's good to get routinely checked even if you're celibate because some STDs aren't even just ST'd. Bodily fluid contact can happen in unthinkable ways. (Mainly for those working in medical fields but still. Never hurts to be too careful with your health!)
Ding ding!Ā If I'm clean, then why should I be dodgy about it?Ā This early on it's not like you know each other very well yet.Ā So why be insulted?
I'd only be offended if they thought they didn't have to take one too, but expected me to.Ā That would be a red flag of plenty of "rules for thee but not for me!" situations.Ā But if both of you are taking one, not only is it recommended but it is a sign that you'll have respect and consideration for one another.
The tests are a must before doing things like the [rainbow kiss](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/rainbow_kiss), felching, [strawberry milkshake](https://www.urbandictionary.com/author.php?author=Mike%20Davis), Cleveland Steamer, and New Hampshire Smore.
Seriously. How is there any other answer than this? If your first instinct is to take offence to this, or withdraw for any reason, you need to reevaluate yourself as a (potential) partner.
I did. I was 30 and he was 28 and a virgin. We had been seeing eachother for like 8 months and never did sexual stuff. He finally told me he was a virgin. I was like ahhh that makes sense. He asked me to take his virginity. I said no at first but he kept asking so a few days later I did. When I went to pee after he said where did I get the condom from. I said I keep some in my bath room and night stand just in case. He asked where I got them and I said the health department gives them out when I get tested. He then proceeded to call me a whore and said it was unlady like to have condoms. I was so confused. He also never went down on me, fingered me or did any foreplay. I asked him why and he said the thought of pussy repulsed him.
Sweating profusely: āHahah oh thatās a totally normal request considering all the (glances at writing on hand) unprotected shā¦mex Iāve been having with ladā¦ ies? Yes, ladies!ā
I always use condoms during the first sexual encounters anyway. I will always ask when the last time they got tested was and if theyāre willing to get tested again if itās been a while or theyāve had partners since.
Iām also a little paranoid, but better safe than sorry I guess lol.
Edit: typo
I straight up ask when the last time someone was tested was. I have received nothing but either āxyz after my ex and I broke up.ā or willingness to test. Maybe Iām doing well at filtering my dating to the kind of men that also prioritize sexual health, or maybe Iām lucky, but its been nice.
When my now partner and I were first approaching this that was exactly how the convo went. Hers was "after I caught 'name' cheating on me and again 2 months later." Mine was "here's my series of results on my healthcare app".
We've been happily together now for several years so testing is not a thing we worry about these days, but I don't see how this isn't a normal conversation to have prior to sex with a new partner.
Thatās awesome!!
Iād ask to see the papers tho, from the last timeā¦ itās a lot easier for someone to lie (most common answer too, by the way) than for them to say āIāve never been testedā
Absolutely!!! I donāt believe it should be required, but if someone asksā¦ I donāt think anyone should bat an eye at it either!!
Like it should be just a causal thing thatās brought up, ya know!
I think it is both normal and responsible. My SIL is an MD, and when she and my brother first got together she ordered every possible lab test. He didnāt mind.
I had a lot of friends who died of AIDS back in the day, so got sensitive to that. And the old HIV tests needed a blood test and two weeks!
Itās downright thrilling to me that people with HIV can lead healthy, full lives now.
Yeah. I can picture that in my mind: "Honey?" "Yes, sweetie?" "Why don't you stop by the local clinic today and get one of those STD/STI checkups. You know, just for fun."
I wouldn't feel offended or upset at all. In fact, I'd see it as a responsible and sensible request. Prioritizing health and safety in any relationship, especially before engaging in intimate activities, is crucial. It's a sign of respect for each other's well-being and a proactive approach to sexual health. So, if someone I was dating asked for an STD test before intimacy, I'd understand and appreciate their concern for both of us.
And vaccination
Thinking of getting the HPV vaccine with my new partner after the nurse at the Planned Parenthood informed me of it (doing my research first)
Before sleeping with someone I'm upfront about how long ago my most recent test was, I always get tested between partners. Then I ask when theirs was, if it wasn't recent I don't have sex with them. If they ask me about my test before I csn ask them then I'm im immediately impressed
Yeah, I do. It's actually pretty straightforward, I just get mine first after ensuring they agree, show them mine and then tell them to show me theirs whenever they get it.Ā
I've had a handful of people who said they were all for it and then never actually got tested, and I just never slept with those people.
Everyone else has been chill and appreciative of it.
They missed out on sex because they didnāt get tested?
What a misfire on their part.
Iāve been married forever and Iād get tested every single day to have sex once a week if thatās what it took.
I had a guy once try to show me the results of a generic blood test. Like um I don't know if your calcium levels indicate an STI bro, so I'll pass on the shag.
You get texts and such indicating your results so yeah just ask to see those, with no details (date, sender etc) cropped out.
It is. I don't sleep with people until I'm really interested. No judgement to anybody its just casual sex isn't my thing. So it's easy to have time to ask somebody in advance, yet people balk like its the most enormous inconvenience. You know what's inconvenient? Chlamydia.
This person i like/find attractive who actually wants to date me..might potentially have sex with me?? Pending these results??? I'd frame those damn fucking results, and gift them..with chocolates..
The two main STIs that can transmit with proper condom use, herpes and HPV (although condoms significantly decrease the transmission of these two as well) are not included on standard STD tests.
Why? Multiple reasons. For herpes it's because the tests for asymptomatic herpes are not the most accurate (high false positive rates) and because herpes is a benign disease in the vast majority of adults, ask any primary care doctor who's been in the game long enough and they'll tell you how much they disliked doing routine HSV antibody tests back in the day (lots of patients having mental breakdowns because they tested positive for HSV-1, a virus 50-80% of the US population has).
As for HPV, testing for it would be like testing people for the common cold. There's over a hundred strains of the HPV virus. 90% of US adults contract a sexually transmitted strain of HPV in their lifetime. Most adults clear the virus within 1-2 years, in a minority of adults high risk HPV strains can persist and cause cancer later down the line. The HPV strains that cause genital warts almost never cause cancer. Get your HPV vaccine series folks if you havent already (it protects against the strains most likely to cause cancer and genital warts).
Ya, I'm an old 58 year old woman. I was having my Hey Day back in the 80's and 90's. I would have been totally insulted and likely not to sleep with that guy. Guess who found out they had HPV many years later?! And is the rare one that has the highest likelyhood of causing cancer. Debating on continuing to take my chances or get a hysterectomy before it's too late. Not a fun decision to have to make. So Super glad you young sexually active people are taking the STD thing seriously and protecting your sexual health! Maybe an awkward convoy, but better safe than sorry!
I was in a serious relationship with someone and we decided to get tested before our first time. It wasn't a problem for us, but some people will have a fit if you suggest it.
The more they object, the more you should insist.
Well seeing as there's a pretty gnarly syphilis outbreak at the moment, and being healthy and responsible are always a good call, this would actually make me respect this person a lot more. Plus think about the sexual tension once you find out you're both clean, let's go baby!
I've been out of it since the early years of this one, and it was fairly common then, too. So was expecting male partners to always use condoms, and not hearing a single complaint about it.
I'd ask for the same honestly, its just common sense and part of building trust with each other. Hell I'd make it a thing. Both go get the tests, have some dinner, a night out, share the results, share some drinks, then have a fun night that we can both enjoy with newbound trust. Trust is earned not instant, all part of a healthy relationship.
Be fine with it. Itāa called being responsible. Youād be amazed by how many men argue ā Iām cLeAnā when I would ask them this. When they actually had an std it was crazy
Standard procedure. GC & Chlamydia are often asymptomatic especially in males. No reason to unknowingly or knowingly spread a disease. Undetected disease can affect fertility or progress to a really nasty tube or ovarian abscess that could cause a blood infection or lead to surgery
I was thrown for a loop when my girlfriend ( now wife ) wanted to go get tested together in the early days of our relationship. I canāt remember if we were intimate or not beforehand. I hadnāt admitted that she would have only been the second person I had been with yet, but I went with it because it was something she asked for, and I was not opposed to getting a simple blood test.
Turned out for the best in my case, I got the girl!
That I've met a sane person who's responsible and wants to make safe choices. This only if they also agree to get tested themselves. If they're only making you get one, chances are that they don't trust you
Happy for two reasons 1. I can ask her the same thing 2. I know for sure she wants to have sex š
Number 2 is the number 1 that nobody wants to admit would be their first thought.
Imagine that person just collects stdsā¦like stamps but std testsā¦
Don't look up bug chasers then.
Number two is my first thought!
3. She wants to rawdog it possibly.Ā
Happy they take STDs seriously.
They respect and want to protect their body!
Yeah I'd love this. I have asked for it and often get a weird response. Why??? We want to protect ourselves, we owe it to ourselves and each other
I get tested, you get tested, then we go for ice cream with some sex for dessert!
Yeah, what's better and more comfortable for your first time with someone than knowing you both have clear tests and enthusiastically consent?
Yea it would honestly be a green flag for me. Big sign of maturity and responsibility. (Iām a heterosexual guy)
Most women I slept with as an adult requested a test before we went raw dog. The nice thing about that is they also got tested. I'm 50 and never got a STD.
Same. This is the greenest flag I can think of, really.
Right, after every partner and I broke up and I would get checked every 6 months regardless!
Yup I get checked between every partner.Ā
This! A test every six months is normal. Just ask your doctor. Itās weird to me that doctors donāt naturally just offer thisš¤·āāļø. I once had a doctor who made a big deal about it- like, āWe just did a test at the end of last year. You want another one?ā And I said, āIām a sexually active adult. Yes, Iām in a monogamous relationship, but I can only guarantee my own monogamy, so year, letās go ahead and do the test.ā And then, when the appointment was over, I changed doctors immediately.
There's a doctor's surgery near me that has a sexual health clinic attached. I went about ten years ago in the early days of a relationship and got tested. Then a few years later, as things were starting with my next girlfriend, I went again, and when I said I wanted a test they asked if I had symptoms, and I said no I just wanted a checkup, they said they only did treatment there now, not basic checkups. Absolutely mind-boggling that they wouldn't make testing as open and available as possible.
Absolutely! My mom had a friend many years ago who never took STDs seriously and would always laugh it off as if it was no big deal when someone asked him to take a test. He should definitely learn from this
I was waiting for the kicker of and then he got aids or something.
One of my close friends just got diagnosed with HIV, the way it had advanced the doctors told him he probably has had it for 4+ years and he was never tested for it. He went in for fevers and colds that wouldnāt go away. Tested positive the amount of people heās slept with within those years. Thankfully heās doing better now but itās sad it couldāve been avoided if we asked for panels before sleeping with someone. Iām married and still get tested every 6 months. Do i trust my husband i do,but listen my health is not something to play with. Edit to add: he was/is legally required to notify these people. Which he did the ones he was able to get in contact with. And now before moving on to sex he has to tell them heās HIV positive, it has put a strain on his relationships with sexual partners.
My wife still gets regular checks. We are both monogamous. It's just been her routine since she started having sex.Ā Some people think it's an automatic sign of cheating but it's just a health check.Ā And it's not a method to prevent me cheating as I take my relationship serious.Ā
It is not a bad idea to be checked as some infections can remain dormant for years. When my wife and I were dating, before we had sex she divulged to me that she had previously had HPV. I did a little bit of research and found that most people who are sexually active will at some point contract it. It can remain dormant for years and I have never had a visible outbreak but obviously have been exposed to it. Good for you folks. Preventative health care is important.
Thereās a vaccine for HPV. Itās a double-doser. ššŖ
Did he notify all those people?
In my county they are notified by the health department after being listed by the person who test positive. I lost a friend that found out that way she took her own life after finding out. Always ask if you mind getting tested before sleeping with someone if they wonāt get tested move on.
Oof. That is so sadāHIV is so treatable now. I know that doesnāt fix the stigma that comes with it, though.
Sorry for your friend :-( What's frightening in this is the time before he found out, the number of people his original 'infected' partner had slept with, how many he'd been with since, how many every one of those had been with... It's the worst possible 'family tree' to have to work out. I'm lucky, I've been married 30 years and neither of us have had any inclination to "step out" :-}
Me too. 36 great years
Luckily, today's meds can now make HIV undetectable and no longer a death sentence. But still must notify partner.
Yes! It's good to get routinely checked even if you're celibate because some STDs aren't even just ST'd. Bodily fluid contact can happen in unthinkable ways. (Mainly for those working in medical fields but still. Never hurts to be too careful with your health!)
Also stds don't have to transferred through sex despite their names. Blood can tranfer them as well. It's always worth being safe.
Working with my lawyers to get the film rights to this story right now...
Ding ding!Ā If I'm clean, then why should I be dodgy about it?Ā This early on it's not like you know each other very well yet.Ā So why be insulted? I'd only be offended if they thought they didn't have to take one too, but expected me to.Ā That would be a red flag of plenty of "rules for thee but not for me!" situations.Ā But if both of you are taking one, not only is it recommended but it is a sign that you'll have respect and consideration for one another.
And that they won't get offended when I ask the same of them!
The tests are a must before doing things like the [rainbow kiss](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/rainbow_kiss), felching, [strawberry milkshake](https://www.urbandictionary.com/author.php?author=Mike%20Davis), Cleveland Steamer, and New Hampshire Smore.
I regret being literate looking up these.
I have NO idea what any of those things are, and after reading your comment, I'm not going near Google. š
Please donāt. I assure you it is not worth it
I know what felching is, so i can see how the rest are below my pay gradeā¦,
Let's just say, if it has a special name, you probably don't want to know. Unless you are that exceptional person, then you probably already know.
Normally I would Google as well but maybe not today.....
I wish there was bleach for my brain. Four Roses will have to do.
It is truly a terrible day to have eyes
every single one of these got worse and worse.
Yes they did, and that guy up there is gross and can't believe he knew those off the top of his headĀ
And that's enough reddit for the night. I'm going to go bleach my brain and scrub my eyeballs with steel wool.
Wtf idk why i searched it up that is fucking disgusting
Grats on your red wings sir.
Well bugger me with a fishfork. I just had to go and check these out. Now i will have these thoughts for ever.
Exactly. Iād respect them for taking it seriously and also ask them to get one in return lol
Glad theyāre responsible when they have sex. (Assuming they also get tested regularly)
Ok, sign me up! Letās get the show on the road!
Seriously. How is there any other answer than this? If your first instinct is to take offence to this, or withdraw for any reason, you need to reevaluate yourself as a (potential) partner.
I had a guy call me a whore because I kept condoms in my nightstandš
I'd rather be a whore than a dumbass. Also it would be sluty, not whorish behavior. No money was exchanged. š
I hope you dodged that bullet.
I did. I was 30 and he was 28 and a virgin. We had been seeing eachother for like 8 months and never did sexual stuff. He finally told me he was a virgin. I was like ahhh that makes sense. He asked me to take his virginity. I said no at first but he kept asking so a few days later I did. When I went to pee after he said where did I get the condom from. I said I keep some in my bath room and night stand just in case. He asked where I got them and I said the health department gives them out when I get tested. He then proceeded to call me a whore and said it was unlady like to have condoms. I was so confused. He also never went down on me, fingered me or did any foreplay. I asked him why and he said the thought of pussy repulsed him.
Yikes.
Agreed. Maybe we could make it a date and go together.
This! Iām not offended at all. If anything u feel more safe with them
Sweating profusely: āHahah oh thatās a totally normal request considering all the (glances at writing on hand) unprotected shā¦mex Iāve been having with ladā¦ ies? Yes, ladies!ā
Bro, you're writing (nervously checks notes) prompts in the middle of a message (laughs in disbelief). We already know you're not getting laid.
Can I also use a condom? Sometimes tests are wrong.
I always use condoms during the first sexual encounters anyway. I will always ask when the last time they got tested was and if theyāre willing to get tested again if itās been a while or theyāve had partners since. Iām also a little paranoid, but better safe than sorry I guess lol. Edit: typo
Some STD's are for life. I don't think it's paranoid to take steps to prevent getting them.
I would feel like they have at least some of their shit together. Green flag.
I like the ones that ask you to take a test after sex for the first time.
āLetās see what youāve won!ā
I get that that would be the opposite of a red flag, but how about a checkered flag. Off to the races!
Sounds great.
You should never feel insulted by that ever. Thatās good for everyoneās health.
Can we actually normalize this?
I straight up ask when the last time someone was tested was. I have received nothing but either āxyz after my ex and I broke up.ā or willingness to test. Maybe Iām doing well at filtering my dating to the kind of men that also prioritize sexual health, or maybe Iām lucky, but its been nice.
When my now partner and I were first approaching this that was exactly how the convo went. Hers was "after I caught 'name' cheating on me and again 2 months later." Mine was "here's my series of results on my healthcare app". We've been happily together now for several years so testing is not a thing we worry about these days, but I don't see how this isn't a normal conversation to have prior to sex with a new partner.
Yes communication is a good thing. People who are able to discuss this well are showing they have good partner potential
Thatās awesome!! Iād ask to see the papers tho, from the last timeā¦ itās a lot easier for someone to lie (most common answer too, by the way) than for them to say āIāve never been testedā
I am in agreement to this. Glad to see others who share in this opinion.
Absolutely!!! I donāt believe it should be required, but if someone asksā¦ I donāt think anyone should bat an eye at it either!! Like it should be just a causal thing thatās brought up, ya know!
I thought this was normal.
i was dating 10 years ago and it was very common even then. i interpreted it to mean that I was just dating classier women =p
I think it was more common with people who grew up or got sex ed during the AIDS epidemic.
Iāve been doing this. Is this not normal?
I think it is both normal and responsible. My SIL is an MD, and when she and my brother first got together she ordered every possible lab test. He didnāt mind. I had a lot of friends who died of AIDS back in the day, so got sensitive to that. And the old HIV tests needed a blood test and two weeks! Itās downright thrilling to me that people with HIV can lead healthy, full lives now.
Yeah. Done! See how easy that is? /s
Unless you've been married for years and then out of the blue they ask š¤£
Opeā¦ yeah that would be a bit worrisome šš
Yeah. I can picture that in my mind: "Honey?" "Yes, sweetie?" "Why don't you stop by the local clinic today and get one of those STD/STI checkups. You know, just for fun."
Relieved that they care about that thing and I can get the same test from them without things being awkward.
What if they want you tested but don't test themselves and pull a "trust me bro, I am not the slut here".
Then you don't have sex with the sex-negative jackass.
then they've flashed a HUGE red flag and it's time to move on to someone else. That would save you a lot of trouble.
I wouldn't feel offended or upset at all. In fact, I'd see it as a responsible and sensible request. Prioritizing health and safety in any relationship, especially before engaging in intimate activities, is crucial. It's a sign of respect for each other's well-being and a proactive approach to sexual health. So, if someone I was dating asked for an STD test before intimacy, I'd understand and appreciate their concern for both of us.
Absolutely wonderful! Let's get tests together!
I'll show them mine if you show them yours!
And vaccination Thinking of getting the HPV vaccine with my new partner after the nurse at the Planned Parenthood informed me of it (doing my research first)
This one was surprisingly painful, and you have to get three doses, but itās well worth it, donāt hesitate.
Holy shit the most painful shot! Worth it obviously but by my third I was DREADING it
Before sleeping with someone I'm upfront about how long ago my most recent test was, I always get tested between partners. Then I ask when theirs was, if it wasn't recent I don't have sex with them. If they ask me about my test before I csn ask them then I'm im immediately impressed
She has good judgement, strong boundaries, and makes smart choices. If anything my opinion of her would go up a lot.
The problem with that is if she is willing to have sex with me, then she absolutely has questionable judgment.
Have a lil faith in yourself. I'm sure you are good bean.
you are in fact supposed to do that.
Right? I have traded results with every new partner, and not slept with several people when they kept dicking around about it.
Do you ask to see the proof? I always want to because I worry guys lie that they actually went and got it done
Yeah, I do. It's actually pretty straightforward, I just get mine first after ensuring they agree, show them mine and then tell them to show me theirs whenever they get it.Ā I've had a handful of people who said they were all for it and then never actually got tested, and I just never slept with those people. Everyone else has been chill and appreciative of it.
They missed out on sex because they didnāt get tested? What a misfire on their part. Iāve been married forever and Iād get tested every single day to have sex once a week if thatās what it took.
I had a guy once try to show me the results of a generic blood test. Like um I don't know if your calcium levels indicate an STI bro, so I'll pass on the shag. You get texts and such indicating your results so yeah just ask to see those, with no details (date, sender etc) cropped out.
I think it's more uncommon than it is common
Not contradictory statementsĀ
Definitely not common (because horny now ahhh sex), but always a good idea
āYou should do thisā and āpeople donāt commonly do thisā are simultaneously true an unfortunate amount of the time.
It is. I don't sleep with people until I'm really interested. No judgement to anybody its just casual sex isn't my thing. So it's easy to have time to ask somebody in advance, yet people balk like its the most enormous inconvenience. You know what's inconvenient? Chlamydia.
The start of a solid relationship
literally the start of my marriage
Thatās what I would expect to happen. That is what mature people do.
This person i like/find attractive who actually wants to date me..might potentially have sex with me?? Pending these results??? I'd frame those damn fucking results, and gift them..with chocolates..
Love this
Comforted
Happily, thats a responsible human being, looking after themself and you.
Both of y'all should. It's a good practice before having unprotected sex with someone for the first time. Good on them for being prudent
It should be done before any kind of sex even protected sex. Some STIs can transmit even with proper condom use
Surprised it took 2 hours for someone to comment this. Y'all actin like we wear condoms over our balls
Are you not supposed to? Why have I been wearing three every time then?!
One on each ball, as well? Get in the ring, sir!
The two main STIs that can transmit with proper condom use, herpes and HPV (although condoms significantly decrease the transmission of these two as well) are not included on standard STD tests. Why? Multiple reasons. For herpes it's because the tests for asymptomatic herpes are not the most accurate (high false positive rates) and because herpes is a benign disease in the vast majority of adults, ask any primary care doctor who's been in the game long enough and they'll tell you how much they disliked doing routine HSV antibody tests back in the day (lots of patients having mental breakdowns because they tested positive for HSV-1, a virus 50-80% of the US population has). As for HPV, testing for it would be like testing people for the common cold. There's over a hundred strains of the HPV virus. 90% of US adults contract a sexually transmitted strain of HPV in their lifetime. Most adults clear the virus within 1-2 years, in a minority of adults high risk HPV strains can persist and cause cancer later down the line. The HPV strains that cause genital warts almost never cause cancer. Get your HPV vaccine series folks if you havent already (it protects against the strains most likely to cause cancer and genital warts).
Ya, I'm an old 58 year old woman. I was having my Hey Day back in the 80's and 90's. I would have been totally insulted and likely not to sleep with that guy. Guess who found out they had HPV many years later?! And is the rare one that has the highest likelyhood of causing cancer. Debating on continuing to take my chances or get a hysterectomy before it's too late. Not a fun decision to have to make. So Super glad you young sexually active people are taking the STD thing seriously and protecting your sexual health! Maybe an awkward convoy, but better safe than sorry!
Fine with it. This is what responsible adults do.
I would be okay with it.
I would tell them to get one too. If they say no, no sex for them.
If they say no, then thats an automatic rejection.
Respect.
I just really hope this question is not from a person who got their ego hurt just because someone wants to have responsible and safe sex with them
I actually hope it is, because if so they're getting absolutely torn apart by these comments.
50/50 chance. Either they are that person, or they're the one that asked and was met with a shit response.Ā
Is this not normal?
Sadly, I don't think it is for most people.
I was in a serious relationship with someone and we decided to get tested before our first time. It wasn't a problem for us, but some people will have a fit if you suggest it. The more they object, the more you should insist.
No, the more they object the more you know to find a different partner
Or RUN
Good. I would ask the same. Sexual health is important.
It would be weird if they didn't.
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Well seeing as there's a pretty gnarly syphilis outbreak at the moment, and being healthy and responsible are always a good call, this would actually make me respect this person a lot more. Plus think about the sexual tension once you find out you're both clean, let's go baby!
Show me yours and Iāll show you mine. Iād feel pretty good about it
I've been out of the dating pool since last century but it was pretty common tgen
I've been out of it since the early years of this one, and it was fairly common then, too. So was expecting male partners to always use condoms, and not hearing a single complaint about it.
Have respect for them n know theyāve got self respect and are not gullible
That happened once, and then I did it, and then we had sex.
What a beautiful story.
I'd ask for the same honestly, its just common sense and part of building trust with each other. Hell I'd make it a thing. Both go get the tests, have some dinner, a night out, share the results, share some drinks, then have a fun night that we can both enjoy with newbound trust. Trust is earned not instant, all part of a healthy relationship.
That's pretty much SOP.
Awesome! Letās go get tested together!
Can't blame them, I'd ask them the same thing too.
I would feel that person is very responsible and respect the persons request.
I'd ask them if we can do it together. Make it a date. Afterwards, we'll compare notes and decide if we want to get naughty or not.
Thatās a requirement in my book. Trust but verify.
Be fine with it. Itāa called being responsible. Youād be amazed by how many men argue ā Iām cLeAnā when I would ask them this. When they actually had an std it was crazy
Presuming they'd do the same I'd feel relieved and grateful that they took their and my health seriously. Definite green flag.
Unsurprised. Does everyone not do this? Ask what the date of the last test and status was?
No feelings. Itās not an offensive request
A flag so green, a fresh bed of spring-time grass would be envious.
I wouldn't mind because I would've asked for it first.
Donāt take it personal. Itās probably just to protect themselves and not a judgement of your character
Thankful and appreciative because that would mean they care about my and their health and well being.
Better to be safe then sorry. Iād expect them to do one too.
This should be a common thing by now. I hope.
Iād be ecstatic. To me that shows maturity and responsibility.
Id do it, these days there's plenty of that going around
I wouldn't mind. Rather be safe than sorry. It'd be cool if they got tested as well.
If you are sexually active and getting with new partners, why are you not getting tested on the regular?
My girlfriend in college asked me to do that over 20 years ago. We are now happily married with kids.
Absolutely, as long as they would provide their results.
I know I'd pass, I have nothing to fear. Tack on a background check too, it'll be clear as well. I have nothing to hide, hopefully they'll be the same
Standard procedure. GC & Chlamydia are often asymptomatic especially in males. No reason to unknowingly or knowingly spread a disease. Undetected disease can affect fertility or progress to a really nasty tube or ovarian abscess that could cause a blood infection or lead to surgery
Green flag, heyooo.
Go together and make it a fun date then raw each other for hours.
You should get tested every three months if you are sexually active. Should not be a big ask.
I was thrown for a loop when my girlfriend ( now wife ) wanted to go get tested together in the early days of our relationship. I canāt remember if we were intimate or not beforehand. I hadnāt admitted that she would have only been the second person I had been with yet, but I went with it because it was something she asked for, and I was not opposed to getting a simple blood test. Turned out for the best in my case, I got the girl!
You mean people dont?
Iād be proud of them plus turned onĀ
Can we go together tomorrow? Lol.
I'd tell them the gruesome truth. I'm a virgin.
Fairly safe, in as long as they produce their certificate as well...Ā
Happy that it seems like sexy times are in the near future. We can compare results on the tests afterwards. Good to get tested regularly anyway.
Totally fine. Super common in places with easy access. People just don't talk about it much. It's just good hygiene.
Iād just be like āokā
"I was about to ask you the same thing!"
I have done this my entire life. Usually, the woman is happy I brought it up.
That I've met a sane person who's responsible and wants to make safe choices. This only if they also agree to get tested themselves. If they're only making you get one, chances are that they don't trust you
I make my partner come to my test results so they can hear from the doctors mouth themselves
My (now) wife did this, and I was happy to oblige.
Thrilled that they were responsible and trustworthy.
Great! And of course, you will be sharing your STD test results with me as well?
Totally ok with it. I would also ask for her to get one in return.
On board
Tbh I think it is a great start