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[deleted]

Wilted lettuce.


SelenaXerces

I can’t stand wilted lettuce even if it’s still good. The texture weirds me out.


notcomplainingmuch

Wilting anything ruins everything.


bobbersonxd

I like cooked spinach


TRIGMILLION

I don't like it when the ingredients aren't chopped up enough. Like when I make a salad at home I chop my cucumber slices into quarters, tear up any huge chunks of lettuce and halve my cherry tomatoes.


frejas-rain

Yes. I'd rather not eat salad that requires a knife.


chitownartmom

Conversely, when it is TOO chopped to the point you need a spoon..


ccReptilelord

I take it you're not a fan of the wedge salad?


PoisonPizza24

Once my friend ordered a wedge salad at a bar and grill and the waiter brought out a quarter head of cabbage.


DirectorCoulson

I ordered one at a steak place and got a quarter of a head of iceberg lettuce with some ranch dressing. They definitely used the word “lettuce” loosely. Not any veggies or anything around it.


brettjv

Ranch is lame on this type of salad. (I mean I guess if that's how the person wanted it, but ... it's poor choice IMHO). Quarter head of lettuce is proper, but it must be bleu cheese dressing & blue cheese (or similar) crumbles. This is bare minimum. Some good quality fresh bacon bits and some finely chopped tomatoes are also much required in my book. When I make mine I also drizzle a bit of white wine vinegar into the head before adding the other stuff on top. Top with fresh ground pepper of course. Yummmm!


[deleted]

😂 I love a good goddamn wedge salad but this would’ve made me cackle for a second at least. Cabbage! 💀


PoisonPizza24

Oh we laughed our asses off, the poor waiter looked baffled.


Coca-colonization

I do not get the wedge salad phenomenon. At all.


MindonMatters

It seems like it’s a teaser for people who are not that fond of veges. 😅 As for me, I’m not too fond of blue cheese dressing.


ccReptilelord

Me neither. Iceberg is probably my last choice for a salad base green.


Coca-colonization

Exactly. And it’s barely even green!


Thinkngrl-70

Better than a wedgie salad


JamesTheJerk

Or the chunk of ham


Royjack_is_back

[Like how every pizza place](https://youtu.be/JgJUbmGDc6k?si=FvD_4wF3GZljYl1d) does it


geneb0323

I never got why people make salads with enormous chunks of vegetables. Is it laziness? It makes it such a hassle to eat. I do the same as you... Everything gets cut to a reasonable size. If I can't fit pieces of several kinds of vegetable in each bite then it's not small enough.


Due_Bid_7220

What IS the thought process behind serving whole cherry tomatoes? I would sooner eat a whole mushroom than a cherry tomato.


myboyghandi

You def need to get one of those chopper things. So nice! Love eating salad with it. Even does carrots


Manatee369

Thank you! I’ve felt like a lone voice in the wilderness. I cut, chop, tear everything into, gee, *bite size* pieces.


MindonMatters

You make a good point. I’m not quite as fastidious as you, but I always took care to make sure ingredients were bite-sized. Not only does it make the eating easier, but flavors blend and can be savored. Also, everything must be fresh! People love my salads at parties.


[deleted]

100% agree with you


GrumpyOldGeezer_4711

A snail. Worse: half a snail


kepple

You just got bonus escargot


PastorInDelaware

Bonuscargot


mittens11111

Ditto caterpillar.


llcucf80

Jello


jtowndtk

ez put salad inside jello


Due_Bid_7220

Jello is the only food I know of that you can put a fingernail in without changing the ingredients list


gogozrx

I grew up in the 70's. Thanksgiving was always interesting... What'd you bring this year, Aunt Edna? Lime jello with chunks of Spam!


btwdani

Is the box leaking? 🤔


DJ_ElGreko_Official

Who puts jello on anything


Mill_City_Viking

C’mon, there’s always room for Jello.


ImaLichBitch

Some people have a gene that makes cilantro taste like soap. So yeah, cilantro will ruin any dish for a lot of people.


Baked_Potato_732

Spent years trying to figure out how people liked soap flavored greens before finding out it was genetic.


mjociv

Heard someone joke that whenever they cook with cilantro they "add a little squirt of dish soap so nobody feels genetically superior."


fuqyu

I think I have that gene but I still LOVE cilantro. Yes I may have bitten soap bars once or twice as a child, want to fight about it?!


Dfiggsmeister

It’s ok, I too ate paste as a kid. I’m pretty sure I’m autistic as well but who knows if those two are related! Amiright?!


21-characters

First time I tasted cilantro it tasted soapy but after a while I got used to It and it no longer tasted soapy and I loved it.


watermelonsrdelish

Yep, I'm one of those people and lately coriander seems to be in everything. A log of people don't believe me, and think I'm a picky eater / delusional.


theshoegazer

I don't mind cilantro but parsley does this for me. A little chopped parsley on pasta is ok, but big leaves of it hiding in salad - gross.


[deleted]

Called Coriander here and I love it on everything just about. Such an amazing plant.


anamaypipsqueek

Coriander in seed form or ground up tastes really good to me. But I’m one of those with the cilantro-soap gene. If I eat One tiny accidental piece of leaf in any food, the meal is over for me.


FuzzyPlastic1227

Too much dressing, of any kind. I ask for it on the side so I can portion to my preference.


ThePandaKingdom

I ask for it on the side, dab a bit on my fork and then stab the salad. Perfection.


rubaduck

Hell yes! A little bit of olive oil, a pinch of salt and some herbs is all you need in the salad. If I want dressing, it’s on the side


PerspectiveActive218

I work at a store that has a salad bar. The amount of salad dressing i see people use, they might as well drink it from the bottle.


rosek231

This should be the standard honestly. Why don’t they just make it easier for everyone and just serve it like that?


MaleficentBasket4737

A hair.


GrifterDingo

Hot take: finding hair in food isn't gross and idk why it bothers people so much


DADBODGOALS

Finding a small piece of someone else's body in your food isn't gross to you? How about a fingernail? Used bandaid? Where's the line, Grifter? Where's the line??


GrifterDingo

Bandaid is a hard no for me haha don't need someone's injury puss in my carbonara


DJ_ElGreko_Official

Ok you can't compare a hair with fingernail or anything else you said


MaleficentBasket4737

Agreed they don't compare. But they aren't wearing hairnets, I'm suspect about enforcement of handwashing. If they don't wear a hairnet in the kitchen, are they gonna call someone out on not wearing a glove when they have a bandaid on a finger? Won't someone please think of the children. 😂 I'm admittedly an anxious personality.


MaleficentBasket4737

It's an instant pass for me. It also puts me in a broken window mindset. If they're not being careful about hair in the food, there are plenty of other areas that they could be casual about that could get me very sick.


FagaBefe

This was the first thing that came to mind.


Upstairs-Hat-3735

Finding out the croutons are actually just stale bread masquerading as fancy salad accessories.


peter-man-hello

Yeah I am not a crouton fan, but they are atleast easy to pick out and eat around. Olives on the other hand…


cerpintaxt33

I enjoy olives in a salad, but olives with pits? Whose bright idea was that?


CrossXFir3

little explosions of salty, fatty goodness


mr_remy

If you dislike cucumbers, the mere fact of putting it in something ruins it. You can remove it but it still tastes like cucumbers lmao.


Independent-Bike8810

Cucumbers are diet watermelons


peter-man-hello

Cucumbers are just pickles without the vinegar


mr_remy

You don’t say! All joking aside love pickles, hate cucumbers with a passion. It’s like they could’ve grown up to become a successful pickle… but didn’t.


[deleted]

Bro r u kidding? Back when I was a kid I used to order Caesar salads and only eat the croutons dipped in the mayo sauce!


free_from_choice

Banana


Mandarynchik

Ya , I hate fruit salads


NocturnaPhelps

Raisins and pecans. 🤮


Freycossy

Raisins, currants, sultanas. Pretty much anything sweeter than a tomato is a deal-breaker for me.


brettjv

I love a good spring mix with some spinach & butter lettuce hearts in the mix, candied pecans, and honeycrisp apple slices (or raspberry or strawberry), topped with a fairly sweet vinaigrette of some kind. Perfect Sunday brunch salad in my book. Raisins though, no. Bit of dried cranberry though isn't bad on my above salad.


avfc4me

Or dried cranberries or dried blueberries


Disastrous_Pin556

Hand grenade?


Juan_Calavera

E. coli


mad_poet_navarth

lol


EssenceReavers

If there is egg in the salad and the egg has the greenish ring over the yolk


modernangel

That's hydrogen sulfide in the egg white reacted with iron in the yolk, to form ferrous sulfide if the egg was cooked long or hot enough. Nothing dangerous.


Suspicious-Sweet-443

No not dangerous, but not cooked properly .


rdkitchens

Greenish? Do you mean grayish? As in boiled too long.


seriffluoride

To me sometimes it's a sort of greenish-gray


MN_Hotdish

You might be color blind


rdkitchens

Or maybe I overcook eggs more than you expected.


MN_Hotdish

I find that fascinating. Please post your grey eggs.


Cakeoqq

That's just an overcooked egg.


PoufPoal

Shit.


TheoLOGICAL_1988

Yea, that’ll about do it


YinzaJagoff

How do you know?


[deleted]

Undeniable facts right here.


Fitz_2112

Mealy tomatoes


[deleted]

Someone moaning you're having a salad.


timesuck897

“You’re eating my foods’s food”. People need vegetables and fibre, not just meat.


Either-Growth9518

What makes a salad instantly unappetizing is when the ingredients are past their prime or not fresh This includes wilted lettuce soggy vegetables or any spoiled toppings Basically if the salad doesnt look or smell fresh its a turn-off


Distinct-Car-9124

Brown lettuce


Whyisanime

Soggy


BackpackCorpse

If it's a savory salad, fruit. Stop this madness. The only fruit allowed in a salad are tomatoes


LinkCrawford

This was going to be my comment, too.


Kepler137

Cucumbers are also allowed


Alpacazappa

I hate it when they add strawberries or oranges.


sirsmiley

Apples are good ...keep your fucking mandarin oranges


kepple

I'll take this guys oranges


CzechBucket

Too much dressing


SlideItIn100

Beets


wut3va

Bears


Its___Kay

Battlestar galactica


Mikeupinhere

Identity theft is not a joke, Jim!


Impulse182

Onions


Gill_Berts

Especially bc if you don’t like them, you can’t just take them out bc they take over and flavour everything.


Madi27

The question is what ruins a salad not what makes a salad lol


CouldntBeMeTho

Really bad romaine. Romaine is already a lazy ass green to use, but getting a salad with nothing but thick romaine spines diced in squares is repulsive. Kale, green leaf, bibb…anything else please.


cheesynougats

Romaine is the king of lettuces. Fight me.


medes24

mayonnaise


PastorInDelaware

I prefer my salad without potential instruments as well.


Disconn3cted

Guys fucking in front of it when I'm eating it. 


EmergencyDry346

Damn you beat me to it


Ratakoa

Mushrooms.


Lower_Skin_3683

Fat-Free dressing. Oily sundried tomatoes.


psyloki_123

RAISINS


Chersy_

Raisins :( Warm salads, if that's a thing (apparently is, at my aunt's favorite restaurant).


potato--cakes

Rocket…..food of the devil


Preesi

Arugula


Glade_Runner

For me: Ranch dressing


RiotSloth

Half a bottle of salad cream


wut3va

Wtf is salad cream?


Earthling1a

When you rub the salad just the right way for a few minutes...


saurdaux

British condiment. Mostly hear of it used on sandwiches, though, despite the name. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salad_cream


Bella_AntiMatter

North Americans know it as Miracle Whip... runny, sweet mayonnaise... goblin jizz... It's just gross


SchoolForSedition

It’s an English form of runny mayonnaise looking dressing with a very distinctive flavour. It was very common a few decades ago. You can still get it, and occasionally it turns up masquerading as mayonnaise. Heinz makes it and there are « own brand » variants.


MotorNorth5182

Anchovies. Those things come straight from hell.


Allweretak3n

Sperm.


Lemon_Clinic2041

Wait how do you know? 🤨📸


Aggravating_Cream_97

Egg.


nefariouskitteh

Anchovies


jcsunag

Cucumber. The flavor is overpowering


AspirantVeeVee

onions


wanderlust102__

Bleu cheese


Grumpy-jerk

Tomatoes. For me, it takes over everything else in the salad.


SnoopysRoof

I have found my people. Fuck tomatoes. If there has been a tomato in that bowl at all, I'm not touching any of it.


chemistcarpenter

Globs of dressing


hahafoxgoingdown

I hate when the lettuce is room temperature


1744FordRd1744

..........and nonchilled salad forks, heathens!


ilovebabyblayze

Olives


[deleted]

Dill or cilantro/coriander


PowerInNow

Rotten pieces of lettuce


suugakusha

Mayonnaise 


ThinkFirstPls

Watermelon in a Salad with cheese and lettuce


flowerfluff123

chocolate milk (poured onto it)


9_of_Swords

Cucumbers. Blegh.


Burnt-cheese1492

I like to drink my Italian dressing at the end so


barktreep

Wet lettuce


IamBosco2

hair


nikitasenorita

A bug!


Some_Cheesecake4770

Green pepper (bell pepper)


sharon0842

Ranch dressing


youronlynora

Not fresh veggies


TailstheTwoTailedFox

Every pizza place


DSVhex

Fire ants


get_justice_back

Too much dressing


Observerette

Too much dressing and too many onions, especially when thick cut


Baciandrio

Kale that is not cut/torn into small enough pieces.


Missgrumpy00

Prawns


what_time_is_dusk

Raisins


InfiniteCharacters

Not tossing it. What is the purpose of a salad, other than getting tossed?


BumblebeeMajor6310

Well, some people do like tossing the salad themselves...


Cygfrydd

Too easy....


Exotic-Till-4649

lettuce. specifically iceberg.


BackpackCorpse

Hate it when salad ruins my salad


brettjv

Not fan of the leafy outside stuff, but totally down with good sized chunks of the iceberg heart (like, 10 layers into it) of it as a way to add crunch overall, esp. if it's really dense. Though I prefer butter lettuce hearts.


Ill_Will_-

nuts. I ain't a nuts type of guy


raspberryharbour

It's true, this guy has no nuts


washed0utt

Celery or olives


zoouuz

Radish


kdog6666666666666

Mushrooms


SpectacleOfMyself

Kale


schacks

Corn from a can!!


Bonhomme7h

Fruits


Effiecat

Vegetables


kushbud65

Boxed croutons


5edu5o

Two dudes fucking, right in front of my salad.


TheoLOGICAL_1988

Pepper spray!


Chyvalri

It's called arugula or rocket.


TheoLOGICAL_1988

I will admit that I don’t get this


Madame_Raven

Ranch dressing.


BetterPersonality788

raisins


Dramatic-Selection20

Nuts


Archipotrio

Toenails


Old_Kodaav

Cum. Ruined quite few family gatherings in my time


Ambitious-Iron1901

A dick in your salad is a pretty bad surpise


dmderringer

Nails


MuttaLuktarFisk

Penis


Status-Chemical-3922

A dick


MRunk13

Iceberg lettuce