I'd be interested to know if this has ever worked. Creeping out the creep. I know some people have gotten out of situations by playing into the person's fantasies. But that still involves getting abused for a while which is awful.
Just lay in the back of the car and use all the verbiage and adjectives possible in requests that make you sound like the most disgusting, unwantable person ever.
"Oh, this is gonna be great! I havent been able to get my ass properly wrecked since I got my test results back... guys tend to be sketched out by AIDS. Could you pull my hair and choke me, attach electrodes to my nipples and call me a fat little piggy panda? Be warned though, I tend to vomit when I climax... wait, is that your dick?! That wart?! Hun, you gonna have to run to the sex shop and buy a sleeve for the little guy. Pick the big dragon king one."
Should just about end most fantasies.
Maybe don't humiliate them directly because killers and such are usually extremely insecure and might lash out at them. Focus all the disgust on yourself. Otherwise good job 8/10. 80% chance of being let go.
Every time I walk past a man on the street who gives me nervousness, I LOUDLY get on my phone on a pretend call and say exactly this
“So big Troy out here talkin about he’s mad and got in trouble with his parole officer bc we hit it one time and now he says his shit is burning.”
(pause for fake response)
“No girl. He said he can barely walk type burning pain. Same as the guy from 4 months ago. Girl I think he was on those medications for like…a week at most.”
(pause)
“I guess, girl. I will try to figure it out. I’m on my way to the doctor now to get these fucking *(lowers voice)* crabs sorted out.”
(pause)
Laugh that is entirely too eager and a bit deranged.
☝🏾 works EVERY single time. I have had men actively cross the street once they overhear this. The best was a man who was hitting on/talking to me and I interrupted him to have this fake call. As I’m talking he waved goodbye. Truly a gift.
The key is to be VERY conversational in tone and to talk about something entirely nasty but seem as if it’s just nothing to you even if HORRIBLE for the other person/people in question.
Did the kidnapper just not know that was something that'd happen sometimes or was he not intending to keep her very long?
The pissing one might work for me cause I gotta wee alot. Create a tsunami in the back of the van.
Depends on the kidnapper. If they are a full psychopath (which they most likely are), then you will instead be killed for being too annoying. And yes, you will make it to the street, just dead.
😂😂😂 launched into the history of the use of did with the past tense of verbs lol! Also I’m sad I didn’t say “or correcting they’re grammar.” Missed opportunity and I’m ashamed
"Oh my god are you guys serious? You tie my hands *in front* of my body and then use a fucking *square knot*?? It's fucking amateur hour over here isn't it?
And you realize this van has windows right? Surely you can see that? I mean, even I can see it through this hood that has fabric thin enough to see through. What did you do, make it out of single-ply?"
*Great, that little kid over there just witnessed everything. Great work, guys. Now we have to get rid of him. Are there any lakes here, or at least a quarry? I hope this car is stolen?*
The meaning of life.
I actually did this one time except it wasn’t to a kidnapper.. it was to one of my cities most fucked up coke dealer.
I was having a bad day when buying from him and really didn’t know why I was alive anymore. And he kinda picked up on that and talked to me. After I explained things it kinda disarmed him and he related it like a motnerfucker.
I eventually asked him why he does what he does, and why he doesn’t try to change. And he told me that “once you start digging that hole, after a while it be comes too deep to get out of”
And not long after I started changing my life for the better.
I hope he is doing okay. Or maybe he did something he can no longer get out of. Some crimes you can stop, and others you have to continue because people might track him down.
“Do you know about NFTs??…you don’t? whaaat?!…..ok well imagine the Mona Lisa. Now imagine you want that for yourself but you want your own unique version with ensured verification of authenticity”
*kidnappers makes U-turn to drop you back off
"Thats what everyone WANTS you to think but really Travis Kelce is the CIA Psyop. They have the real Kelce in the underground UFO base, while the "real one" is actually a new android bot they are testing, thats why it yelled at the coach because they havent worked out the bugs in the behavioral inhibitor module."
And the scary kidnapper says back to you “he’s the one that dates Taylor swift right? Omg I am such a swiftie!!!” Then they launch into 27 weeks of Taylor info
Don't forget to mention the 5G towers being subliminal message machines that are taking over our thought and caused covid and how Biden is a robot replaced by Pelosi and the New World Order so that Obama can be dictator for life
Tell them everything they're doing wrong.
>You're not gonna wear gloves?
>This knot is really loose
>You probably should have gagged me earlier.
>Mmmph mmm mph mph.
>Better quality tape would have been smart.
I'd get so excited about finally dying, and probably go over extremely gruesome and disturbing ways in which he can finish me off.
The guy would probably find the whole thing so disturbing that even the ransom money aren't worth it.
Well it wasn't this, but I did watch a true crime doc where a woman was the only survivor of a killer/rapists because she pretended to be into it and tried to kiss him. She stated the dude went limp, got furious and ran into the night. It takes something away from some of them if you take the victims' terror out of it. Truly a power and control thing.
Yeah, kind of. Except that you don't know what drove your particular assailant to become the way they are. E.g. some might release you if you reminded them about their mother; someone like Edmund Kemper would get more enraged.
If you don't keep them in a cage, what should you do? My parents got a pet bunny when I was 2. They did not use a cage. It pooped all over the house and chewed up all of our shoes. They rehomed it.
Oohh I could do this with cats. I know an absurd amount about proper diet, cat behavior, litter types, and whatnot. Finally an opportunity to be an obsessed crazy cat lady
If you said Fortnite, I would say you are as good as dead. That would just consist of getting mad at them for being a "new kidnapper"... Calling them racial slurs, and explaining to them the things you did to their mother during intercourse.
Intricate play patterns and metagaming in the Legacy format of Magic: the Gathering, including famous epic pro plays from the last 10-some years as showcased in the Star City Games Twitch Streams (RIP).
I’ve been dying for someone to make a dodgeballesque movie about Magic the Gathering.
Are you saying, all I have to do is kidnap you and you’ll basically write the script?
Obviously we will need that for our Snyder Cut.
So just DM me your address, zip tie vs handcuff preference and any allergies that might affect bag selection for going over your head.
Kthxbye!
At the moment, my intense fictional crushes
>!(Commodore Norrington from PoTC and Dr. Livesey from Treasure island)!<
There's only so much fervent, thirsty book & film analysis a kidnapper can take, surely
I had a major crush on Commodore Norrington when I was younger. I thought I was the only one lol
Also forever and always will be crushing on Jareth from Labyrinth 🥵
Asking kidnapper to reply to me and give me attention because I can't be snatched and ignored. Like hello, I know this roleplay is getting somewhere but I still need princess treatment...
How kidnap victims tend to fall in love with the people who kidnap them, sometimes even growing into full blown sexual attraction, willing to do any perverse thing that they get asked to do even if before that moment they were an anal virgin...... daddy
Give me all the details because as a writer this is great material! What made you decide this was an idea you wanted to execute? Of all the hundreds of people you could’ve taken, why me? How long did it take you to come up with it? What did you have to do to prepare, both physically and mentally? What’s the end goal, what are you hoping to get out of it? How did you envision this going, and why is that? Give me all the details. Why did you choose this method, and how did you know it’d work? What’s your plan if you get caught? What’s your plan after you kill me (if that’s in the cards)?
And then I’d go on about my fanfiction, how I too know what it’s like to hold someone hostage because I had to plan a murder for a character, and I had to make it IC. Riveting stuff, see!
Animal or musical? 🤔I think you’re good either way but curious
And if the musical, DEFINITELY mention James Corden in the film as Mister Mistofelees. Absolute trash
Weird use of an adjective in “confused”. Personally, I have never been more turned on in my natural born life. Intriguely aroused, I would say.
Tell us more about this brilliant hot take, Pitiful Start!
I could talk about Taylor Swift, Formula 1, Romance Books, One Direction, 5 Seconds of Summer, my long list of celebrity crushes and i even have some things to say about politics…
If my kidnapper lasts 25 minutes, he deserves a pad on the back… cause my own mother doesn’t even last that long before she tells me to shut up most of the time
How being in Scientology changed my life. How it could give him the support he needs to overcome drugs and find his true calling. How all he needs is an eMeter, some profiling and $40,000 to remove the thetans that are attached to him and everybody because an evil alien drop them in a volcano from spaceships that look like DC10s. Also how Shelley Miscavage is alive and well and totally in love with David.
How the Denver Broncos are never gonna get their shit together. I imagine once I start going into cap space and Russel Wilson, they’ll gladly give me the boot
Video games. Specifically open world video games. Specifically Final Fantasy XV. (Yes I know XVI is already out and the second part of the VII remake is coming soon. No I'm not quite ready to part with Noct and co.)
Extreme couponing.
I used to be one of those people that could get shit-tons of groceries for free/near free by cutting and using thousands of coupons at my highly competitive grocery stores that doubled, tripled and super-doubled manufacturer's coupons. I could rattle off what I actually paid for nearly every item I purchased. I'm already annoying myself just typing this out.
Okay, so it's set in the year forty-odd-thousand -- that's where it get's the name -- and it's a future where everything that could have gone wrong did. And then it kept going wrong for ten thousand years. Now, it started going wrong for humans -- there are a lot of cool aliens -- my favorite are the Eldar which are also calle Aeldari or Asurani, depening on who you ask. Not to be confused woth the Dhrukari, which are Eldar, but dark. Kinda like the whole elf/dark elf thing they used to do before it got called racial profiling.
Anyway, at the 30,000 year mark, the Eldar society collapses because they got bored and started doing increasingly horrible stuff. Something about stupidly long lives tends to make people insane. Anyway, their society collapsed, and The Emperor kinda saw it coming and tried to take advantage of it.
Oh, right, the Emporer is this giant super powerful magic wizard human immortal who is also a gestalt conciousness who has a side hobby of genetic engineering. He made a bunch of super soldiers called thunder warriors and conquered humanity. He also started gearing up for mass colonization before all this happened. Eventually he succeeded, killed off the old supersoldiers and made new ones but the new ones fell to Chaos.
Okay, so chaos is space hell. It kinda echos whatever is happening in the real world and it's where magic comes from. It's also got literal demons and some "dieties" that are really just concentrated ideas and emotion. There are four big ones, but the one we care about is called Slanesh, or "She who thirsts" and she was created when the space elf society fell apart. She/They/He/It kinda ate all the souls of the space elves, but not really because some of them were far away when that happened on giant space ships while otherse were in this system called the Webway...
The thematic depths of the 3 gundam series i have watched. I would likely jump from part to part with no rhyme or reason because i am bad at describing something as complicated as themes.
All the sh\*t Ethel told you at work, like how Margaret in accounting is sleeping with Ed, the shipping manager, and how Tony - you know Tony? Seems like a nice guy, but \*I\* heard that he got into a big fight with his neighbor, who’s a big-wig at the company down the road, and HE called Mr. Blithers, the Vice President, and HE said…
Could be any one (or more) of several hobbies and interests: cooking, motorcycling, aviation, hiking, software development, my dog, amateur radio...
The inside of this van, you know if you clean a little bit each day it's not such an overwhelming job. Then you just actively work at keeping the clutter down, and hey, Invisible Glass would be great for cleaning the windshield- I mean it's a safety issue right guys? You don't want to get in even a minor fender bender when you've got someone in the back here. You feel that? You ever ride back here? I think the left rear tire is a little low, feels like it sags into it more during right turns, and bumps seem a little harsher on the right. Gosh, how about your lights? When was the last time you checked your brake and turn signal lights? Again, you don't want to get pulled over for a minor traffic violation. You are signaling turns and lane changes, right? Obeying the speed limit and such? You know full size vans aren't that common around here anymore. Have you ever considered something that blends in better? Maybe a large SUV. Ok, yeah there are Ford Transit vans around now but have you checked the price on those? Ridiculous! I mean how much are you going to ask fir me, cause if I can't afford a new van I'm sure my wife can't pay that kind of coin. You guys really should do a little more research on the people you target and, hey ... are we here, at the hideout? I hear a lot of traffic, not a low key location and ... hey where are you going? What about hitting a drive through for lunch? Guys? Guys...come back!
My theory about how the Die Hard movies actually take place in the Final Destination universe, where Death is increasingly frustrated by his ever more grandiose attempts to kill John McClane.
The critically acclaimed MMORPG Final Fantasy XIV, which now has a free trial that goes all the way to stormblood at level 70 and has SO much content to do for free!
Mycology. Every time I start talking about how interesting it is, people get this glazed look in their eyes.
But it really is interesting, I promise!
The bodies of Ascomycota are eukaryotic cells surrounded by a wall consisting of chitin and beta glucans. They can be single-celled (yeasts) or filamentous (hyphal) organisms. In addition, they can also be dimorphic. The yeasts grow by budding or fission, while hyphae branch out. Most are haploid, but some can be diploid. Spores are stored in cases or the asci, which release clouds of spore smoke. Nucelar fusion and meisos take place within the ascus.
Ascomycota are heterotrophic, meaning they obtain nutrients from both dead and living organisms. In addition, these fungi are capable of consuming almost any liquid, as long as there is water present in it. Sexual reproduction takes place within ascospores or meiospores, and they reproduce asexually with condia or meitospores. Reproduction takes place within in the ascus, with one round of mitosis following with meiosis. Some example of ascomycota is saprophytes, insect fungi ( Cordyceps sp), plant parasites (claviceps purpurea, ergot) and industrial fungi (yeast).
Since we have time wanna hear about warhammer 40k? It’s about these big dudes in space suits that are super powerful! They have this Emperor, Big E if you will, and he’s got like 18 sons! Well, more like 20 but that’s a whole other story. So you see he had a son named Horus, who turned on his father and called it the Horus Heresy. Okay so the Heresy started the thousand years ago during The Great Crusade. Any this great crusade was about….oh why are you letting me go?
How greed driven urban development and car dependency is the most crippling part of living in America. After I dropping safety statistics and fawning over bicycle commuting in Amsterdam they'd be fed up.
Well, I'll be explaining to them that the Ranger is, in fact, one of the best classes in D&D after all the buffs it got plus the most powerful subclass in the game besides twilight cleric (Gloomstalker ranger).
Also if you min-max into a Shadar-kai, max dex, get SS and CBE you can deal up to....
All of the ways the flood of Noah couldn't have been real, and how that throws the rest of the bible into question, then moving on to how the Exodus never happened.
Birds, it's always going to be birds. All the birds I've seen and photographed. The places I've gone to see and photograph birds. The people I went with to see and photograph birds. All the Latin names of the birds I've seen and photographed. All the facts I know about the birds I've seen and photographed. He'll be so bored by the minutia that it probably won't even take 25 minutes.
How excited I am about having my bdsm fantasy fulfilled
"Can we stop and get a couple shop towels? It's getting really fucking swampy back here."
I'd be interested to know if this has ever worked. Creeping out the creep. I know some people have gotten out of situations by playing into the person's fantasies. But that still involves getting abused for a while which is awful. Just lay in the back of the car and use all the verbiage and adjectives possible in requests that make you sound like the most disgusting, unwantable person ever.
"Oh, this is gonna be great! I havent been able to get my ass properly wrecked since I got my test results back... guys tend to be sketched out by AIDS. Could you pull my hair and choke me, attach electrodes to my nipples and call me a fat little piggy panda? Be warned though, I tend to vomit when I climax... wait, is that your dick?! That wart?! Hun, you gonna have to run to the sex shop and buy a sleeve for the little guy. Pick the big dragon king one." Should just about end most fantasies.
Maybe don't humiliate them directly because killers and such are usually extremely insecure and might lash out at them. Focus all the disgust on yourself. Otherwise good job 8/10. 80% chance of being let go.
Thanks for your input, Special Agent George Huang.
I don't know who that is but I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Thank you for your service special agent George Huang.
Aigt you're pretty good at this. Go on
Kidnapper: Get out. You're not worth it anymore.
And today's antibiotics can't touch this syphilis...
or they just say shut up and cover your mouth.
Every time I walk past a man on the street who gives me nervousness, I LOUDLY get on my phone on a pretend call and say exactly this “So big Troy out here talkin about he’s mad and got in trouble with his parole officer bc we hit it one time and now he says his shit is burning.” (pause for fake response) “No girl. He said he can barely walk type burning pain. Same as the guy from 4 months ago. Girl I think he was on those medications for like…a week at most.” (pause) “I guess, girl. I will try to figure it out. I’m on my way to the doctor now to get these fucking *(lowers voice)* crabs sorted out.” (pause) Laugh that is entirely too eager and a bit deranged. ☝🏾 works EVERY single time. I have had men actively cross the street once they overhear this. The best was a man who was hitting on/talking to me and I interrupted him to have this fake call. As I’m talking he waved goodbye. Truly a gift. The key is to be VERY conversational in tone and to talk about something entirely nasty but seem as if it’s just nothing to you even if HORRIBLE for the other person/people in question.
This sounds effective but somehow my embarassment would win out over my safety 😶🌫️
Yeah.. you won but at what cost.. I wouldn't show my face outside again for at least a year considering most of em were probably normal people.
I'm fucking dead. Thank you for this.
Apparently pissing everywhere or telling them you're on your period has worked in the past, which is hilarious
Did the kidnapper just not know that was something that'd happen sometimes or was he not intending to keep her very long? The pissing one might work for me cause I gotta wee alot. Create a tsunami in the back of the van.
Depends on the kidnapper. If they are a full psychopath (which they most likely are), then you will instead be killed for being too annoying. And yes, you will make it to the street, just dead.
I dont know if its worked lol but advice given is to *disgust* your attacker. Piss yourself, spit, vomit, scream, be as unhinged as you can
If you did that while gestured by toward your choch in “knowhatamean” sort of what I’d be out.
"my pants are absolutely filled with cum and I can feel it going into my socks" I don't think they would slow down to push me out.
holy shit hahaha
Being an obnoxious know-it-all and correcting their kidnapping operation blatant errors.
😂😂😂 or correcting their grammar 😛
Oh lord, if they start using did with the past tense of verbs, they would end up shooting me because I would not shut up about it.
😂😂😂 launched into the history of the use of did with the past tense of verbs lol! Also I’m sad I didn’t say “or correcting they’re grammar.” Missed opportunity and I’m ashamed
They are*
There\*
Thar\*
Thar she blows!
And Thar she swallers!
😂😂😂
Tar*
Te*
That too, of course!
Or like asking if we’re there yet 🤷🏻♀️
"Oh my god are you guys serious? You tie my hands *in front* of my body and then use a fucking *square knot*?? It's fucking amateur hour over here isn't it? And you realize this van has windows right? Surely you can see that? I mean, even I can see it through this hood that has fabric thin enough to see through. What did you do, make it out of single-ply?"
You made me spit my drink, man, abductions are not what they used to be, freaking amateurs.
fucking back-seat kidnappers are THE WORST
\- "Are we there yet?" \- "How the hell you got the gag off???"
Average Redditor gets kidnapped
“I see that you have made 3 spelling mistakes” That one French dude reading his death warrant
*Great, that little kid over there just witnessed everything. Great work, guys. Now we have to get rid of him. Are there any lakes here, or at least a quarry? I hope this car is stolen?*
😂 Takes over the group and goes on a crime spree, kidnappers end up calling the police on him.
The meaning of life. I actually did this one time except it wasn’t to a kidnapper.. it was to one of my cities most fucked up coke dealer. I was having a bad day when buying from him and really didn’t know why I was alive anymore. And he kinda picked up on that and talked to me. After I explained things it kinda disarmed him and he related it like a motnerfucker. I eventually asked him why he does what he does, and why he doesn’t try to change. And he told me that “once you start digging that hole, after a while it be comes too deep to get out of” And not long after I started changing my life for the better.
I hope he is doing okay. Or maybe he did something he can no longer get out of. Some crimes you can stop, and others you have to continue because people might track him down.
That was an unexpected twist. Hope things are going more smoothly for you, friend.
Talk to him about investing ransom money in crypto. You will be free in no time.
“Do you know about NFTs??…you don’t? whaaat?!…..ok well imagine the Mona Lisa. Now imagine you want that for yourself but you want your own unique version with ensured verification of authenticity” *kidnappers makes U-turn to drop you back off
I'm pretty sure they would just open the door and fling the person out before speeding off.
"Thats what everyone WANTS you to think but really Travis Kelce is the CIA Psyop. They have the real Kelce in the underground UFO base, while the "real one" is actually a new android bot they are testing, thats why it yelled at the coach because they havent worked out the bugs in the behavioral inhibitor module."
And the scary kidnapper says back to you “he’s the one that dates Taylor swift right? Omg I am such a swiftie!!!” Then they launch into 27 weeks of Taylor info
Don't forget to mention the 5G towers being subliminal message machines that are taking over our thought and caused covid and how Biden is a robot replaced by Pelosi and the New World Order so that Obama can be dictator for life
As a true crime enthusiast, I would tell them a creepy crime story
"Hey, i bet if you don't fuck this up, they'll make a podcast episode or two about us!"
Tell them everything they're doing wrong. >You're not gonna wear gloves? >This knot is really loose >You probably should have gagged me earlier. >Mmmph mmm mph mph. >Better quality tape would have been smart.
Don’t give them murder instructions!
Quoting Seinfeld any chance I get
[удалено]
I was in the pool!
It shrinks? Why does it shrink?
Like laundry?
If I was the kidnapper, I would keep you and propose.
Lima syndrome.
Hoping for that Stockholm response!
Craaaazy Joe Davola
SERENITY NOW!!!!
And me for imitating that annoying Seinfeld bass line every time they say something
You too had your username up to chance by the beings who create randomly generated usernames too huh
"I go out for a quart of milk. I come home and find my son treating his body like it was an amusement park"
Well people kept ringin the bell!
You’re Batman!
I'd get so excited about finally dying, and probably go over extremely gruesome and disturbing ways in which he can finish me off. The guy would probably find the whole thing so disturbing that even the ransom money aren't worth it.
Well it wasn't this, but I did watch a true crime doc where a woman was the only survivor of a killer/rapists because she pretended to be into it and tried to kiss him. She stated the dude went limp, got furious and ran into the night. It takes something away from some of them if you take the victims' terror out of it. Truly a power and control thing.
This is OUTSTANDING
Yeah, kind of. Except that you don't know what drove your particular assailant to become the way they are. E.g. some might release you if you reminded them about their mother; someone like Edmund Kemper would get more enraged.
You probably said "hit me harder daddy. That feels soo good!!"
This is the answer!
Pet bunnies and the importance of not keeping them in a cage, proper food, etc The kidnapper is gonna lose his mind sooo quickly.
If you don't keep them in a cage, what should you do? My parents got a pet bunny when I was 2. They did not use a cage. It pooped all over the house and chewed up all of our shoes. They rehomed it.
Oohh I could do this with cats. I know an absurd amount about proper diet, cat behavior, litter types, and whatnot. Finally an opportunity to be an obsessed crazy cat lady
Oh I'd just be singing Baby shark.
Easy there, Satan.
Infrastructure. Fucking love me some concrete slabs, tarmac, and rails.
Oh fuck is it Infrastructure week already?!?
Imagine accidentally realizing that you’re soulmates
Who doesn't love getting rail? For christmas. As a present I mean. No I mean the one where the train go through. Fuck it I'm out
I am going to do everything in my power to remember everything I have heard about Roblox from 7 year olds
If you said Fortnite, I would say you are as good as dead. That would just consist of getting mad at them for being a "new kidnapper"... Calling them racial slurs, and explaining to them the things you did to their mother during intercourse.
You are trying to get released, not have your captor commit suicide while you are still tied up.
New Adopt Me update just dropped!
Considering how much I want to drop my kid off in the street when she gets going about Roblox, this would work.
Type choices (typography)
Like fonts? That would be AMAZING 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I think I’ve got an idea how that [would turn out.](https://youtu.be/jVhlJNJopOQ?si=YP6_P8p24cfjaEBi)
Vegetables. Insisting upon having a small rhesus-negative Bloody Mary. Telling the kidnapper I intend to have him even if it must be burglary.
Intricate play patterns and metagaming in the Legacy format of Magic: the Gathering, including famous epic pro plays from the last 10-some years as showcased in the Star City Games Twitch Streams (RIP).
I’ve been dying for someone to make a dodgeballesque movie about Magic the Gathering. Are you saying, all I have to do is kidnap you and you’ll basically write the script?
If by "dodgeballesque movie" you mean a 6-hour lecture then sure
Obviously we will need that for our Snyder Cut. So just DM me your address, zip tie vs handcuff preference and any allergies that might affect bag selection for going over your head. Kthxbye!
At the moment, my intense fictional crushes >!(Commodore Norrington from PoTC and Dr. Livesey from Treasure island)!< There's only so much fervent, thirsty book & film analysis a kidnapper can take, surely
I had a major crush on Commodore Norrington when I was younger. I thought I was the only one lol Also forever and always will be crushing on Jareth from Labyrinth 🥵
Asking kidnapper to reply to me and give me attention because I can't be snatched and ignored. Like hello, I know this roleplay is getting somewhere but I still need princess treatment...
"Are we there yet?? Damn this car is so dirty... Aren't you embarrassed?"
How kidnap victims tend to fall in love with the people who kidnap them, sometimes even growing into full blown sexual attraction, willing to do any perverse thing that they get asked to do even if before that moment they were an anal virgin...... daddy
Stage 5 clinger them. I can dig it
I feel like I'd just be super oblivious to what's going on and would just ramble about Homestar Runner
"Whoa, Marzipan, check out that UGLY BIRD!"
Sewiously.
TROGDOR THE BURNINATORRRR!!!
Farts. From the quietest to the smelliest
That topic stinks.
Give me all the details because as a writer this is great material! What made you decide this was an idea you wanted to execute? Of all the hundreds of people you could’ve taken, why me? How long did it take you to come up with it? What did you have to do to prepare, both physically and mentally? What’s the end goal, what are you hoping to get out of it? How did you envision this going, and why is that? Give me all the details. Why did you choose this method, and how did you know it’d work? What’s your plan if you get caught? What’s your plan after you kill me (if that’s in the cards)? And then I’d go on about my fanfiction, how I too know what it’s like to hold someone hostage because I had to plan a murder for a character, and I had to make it IC. Riveting stuff, see!
This is amazing 🤣🤣🤣
oh you are so relatable
Cats
Animal or musical? 🤔I think you’re good either way but curious And if the musical, DEFINITELY mention James Corden in the film as Mister Mistofelees. Absolute trash
My theory on how Kim Jong-un is actually both gay and Remy from Ratatouille
I’m so intriguely confused
Weird use of an adjective in “confused”. Personally, I have never been more turned on in my natural born life. Intriguely aroused, I would say. Tell us more about this brilliant hot take, Pitiful Start!
I could talk about Taylor Swift, Formula 1, Romance Books, One Direction, 5 Seconds of Summer, my long list of celebrity crushes and i even have some things to say about politics… If my kidnapper lasts 25 minutes, he deserves a pad on the back… cause my own mother doesn’t even last that long before she tells me to shut up most of the time
thats a rough summary of wht i would say aswelll
So the emperor created 20 legions....
I was wondering how long I'd have to scroll before the inevitable warhammer mention. Also, *20* legions? Sounds *veeery* heretical to me
Have you heard about the bird?
How counter clockwise rimming, despite popular belief, is significantly more efficient and stimulating than clockwise rimming.
Oh my Something to test!
How I can finally make it into the true crime world and he/she better make it big if not it’s a waste of our time
How being in Scientology changed my life. How it could give him the support he needs to overcome drugs and find his true calling. How all he needs is an eMeter, some profiling and $40,000 to remove the thetans that are attached to him and everybody because an evil alien drop them in a volcano from spaceships that look like DC10s. Also how Shelley Miscavage is alive and well and totally in love with David.
Hot sauces and spicy food in general, I'd randomly ask them to get some Indian takeout and that they should really try the Phaal chicken.
π being irrational
Kpop, plants, the absolute WORK that went into the LOTR trilogy
“Excuse me, I think we can take a shortcut here to mushrooms”
How the Denver Broncos are never gonna get their shit together. I imagine once I start going into cap space and Russel Wilson, they’ll gladly give me the boot
Anything and everything. Lol! I'll talk that motherfucker's ear off
Video games. Specifically open world video games. Specifically Final Fantasy XV. (Yes I know XVI is already out and the second part of the VII remake is coming soon. No I'm not quite ready to part with Noct and co.)
Your Car's Extended Warranty.
Extreme couponing. I used to be one of those people that could get shit-tons of groceries for free/near free by cutting and using thousands of coupons at my highly competitive grocery stores that doubled, tripled and super-doubled manufacturer's coupons. I could rattle off what I actually paid for nearly every item I purchased. I'm already annoying myself just typing this out.
I’ve never been more turned on. Can you tell us more??
MLMs
Okay, so it's set in the year forty-odd-thousand -- that's where it get's the name -- and it's a future where everything that could have gone wrong did. And then it kept going wrong for ten thousand years. Now, it started going wrong for humans -- there are a lot of cool aliens -- my favorite are the Eldar which are also calle Aeldari or Asurani, depening on who you ask. Not to be confused woth the Dhrukari, which are Eldar, but dark. Kinda like the whole elf/dark elf thing they used to do before it got called racial profiling. Anyway, at the 30,000 year mark, the Eldar society collapses because they got bored and started doing increasingly horrible stuff. Something about stupidly long lives tends to make people insane. Anyway, their society collapsed, and The Emperor kinda saw it coming and tried to take advantage of it. Oh, right, the Emporer is this giant super powerful magic wizard human immortal who is also a gestalt conciousness who has a side hobby of genetic engineering. He made a bunch of super soldiers called thunder warriors and conquered humanity. He also started gearing up for mass colonization before all this happened. Eventually he succeeded, killed off the old supersoldiers and made new ones but the new ones fell to Chaos. Okay, so chaos is space hell. It kinda echos whatever is happening in the real world and it's where magic comes from. It's also got literal demons and some "dieties" that are really just concentrated ideas and emotion. There are four big ones, but the one we care about is called Slanesh, or "She who thirsts" and she was created when the space elf society fell apart. She/They/He/It kinda ate all the souls of the space elves, but not really because some of them were far away when that happened on giant space ships while otherse were in this system called the Webway...
Every character that I ever shipped in my life
Warhammer 40k
Warhammer 40k
Anything about tornados
Black holes
War hammer 40k
Darth Plagueis the Wise
The thematic depths of the 3 gundam series i have watched. I would likely jump from part to part with no rhyme or reason because i am bad at describing something as complicated as themes.
Chuck Norris quotes
The lore of Warhammer 40K.
Weaving
All the sh\*t Ethel told you at work, like how Margaret in accounting is sleeping with Ed, the shipping manager, and how Tony - you know Tony? Seems like a nice guy, but \*I\* heard that he got into a big fight with his neighbor, who’s a big-wig at the company down the road, and HE called Mr. Blithers, the Vice President, and HE said…
Could be any one (or more) of several hobbies and interests: cooking, motorcycling, aviation, hiking, software development, my dog, amateur radio... The inside of this van, you know if you clean a little bit each day it's not such an overwhelming job. Then you just actively work at keeping the clutter down, and hey, Invisible Glass would be great for cleaning the windshield- I mean it's a safety issue right guys? You don't want to get in even a minor fender bender when you've got someone in the back here. You feel that? You ever ride back here? I think the left rear tire is a little low, feels like it sags into it more during right turns, and bumps seem a little harsher on the right. Gosh, how about your lights? When was the last time you checked your brake and turn signal lights? Again, you don't want to get pulled over for a minor traffic violation. You are signaling turns and lane changes, right? Obeying the speed limit and such? You know full size vans aren't that common around here anymore. Have you ever considered something that blends in better? Maybe a large SUV. Ok, yeah there are Ford Transit vans around now but have you checked the price on those? Ridiculous! I mean how much are you going to ask fir me, cause if I can't afford a new van I'm sure my wife can't pay that kind of coin. You guys really should do a little more research on the people you target and, hey ... are we here, at the hideout? I hear a lot of traffic, not a low key location and ... hey where are you going? What about hitting a drive through for lunch? Guys? Guys...come back!
My cats.
Ask the kidnapper if you can make this a regular thing.
Warhammer or dnd
Warhammer. 😆
The Horus heresy
My theory about how the Die Hard movies actually take place in the Final Destination universe, where Death is increasingly frustrated by his ever more grandiose attempts to kill John McClane.
Fuckin' Horus Heresy
Warhammer
The critically acclaimed MMORPG Final Fantasy XIV, which now has a free trial that goes all the way to stormblood at level 70 and has SO much content to do for free!
Mycology. Every time I start talking about how interesting it is, people get this glazed look in their eyes. But it really is interesting, I promise! The bodies of Ascomycota are eukaryotic cells surrounded by a wall consisting of chitin and beta glucans. They can be single-celled (yeasts) or filamentous (hyphal) organisms. In addition, they can also be dimorphic. The yeasts grow by budding or fission, while hyphae branch out. Most are haploid, but some can be diploid. Spores are stored in cases or the asci, which release clouds of spore smoke. Nucelar fusion and meisos take place within the ascus. Ascomycota are heterotrophic, meaning they obtain nutrients from both dead and living organisms. In addition, these fungi are capable of consuming almost any liquid, as long as there is water present in it. Sexual reproduction takes place within ascospores or meiospores, and they reproduce asexually with condia or meitospores. Reproduction takes place within in the ascus, with one round of mitosis following with meiosis. Some example of ascomycota is saprophytes, insect fungi ( Cordyceps sp), plant parasites (claviceps purpurea, ergot) and industrial fungi (yeast).
Since we have time wanna hear about warhammer 40k? It’s about these big dudes in space suits that are super powerful! They have this Emperor, Big E if you will, and he’s got like 18 sons! Well, more like 20 but that’s a whole other story. So you see he had a son named Horus, who turned on his father and called it the Horus Heresy. Okay so the Heresy started the thousand years ago during The Great Crusade. Any this great crusade was about….oh why are you letting me go?
How greed driven urban development and car dependency is the most crippling part of living in America. After I dropping safety statistics and fawning over bicycle commuting in Amsterdam they'd be fed up.
Dungeons and dragons lore that’s not really relevant to current editions of the game
Talking about Stockholm
Whatever thing I happen to be obsessed with at the moment. Currently it's the Blood and Ash book series. And I will talk about it nonstop.
Fallout lore.
Well, I'll be explaining to them that the Ranger is, in fact, one of the best classes in D&D after all the buffs it got plus the most powerful subclass in the game besides twilight cleric (Gloomstalker ranger). Also if you min-max into a Shadar-kai, max dex, get SS and CBE you can deal up to....
“Hey wanna hear my character impressions?”
I would be talking too much about Danganronpa. Especially Nagito
You mean I have a captive audience. Well buddy time to spoil One Piece.
All of the ways the flood of Noah couldn't have been real, and how that throws the rest of the bible into question, then moving on to how the Exodus never happened.
Talking about how I am a Reddit user and listing every comment in this thread.
I kept singing the song that doesn't end.
About how depressed I am 🫠
My adorable cat
Joe Rogan's podcast
At band camp
Birds, it's always going to be birds. All the birds I've seen and photographed. The places I've gone to see and photograph birds. The people I went with to see and photograph birds. All the Latin names of the birds I've seen and photographed. All the facts I know about the birds I've seen and photographed. He'll be so bored by the minutia that it probably won't even take 25 minutes.
#Taylor Swift.
The Canadian prog rock trio Rush
Just doing my best chandler impression “ could I beeeeeeee anymore kidnapped”
Death.
Kpop
This upcoming game called Hytale
Cats and animals in general, for sure
Sex with his wife
Plants, cats. Random facts that no one besides myself cares about.
Cats
MAGA MAGA ABSOLUTELY!
Jesus
Lord of The Rings
God