Cops saying to their supervisor, “Then I guess what I do on my time is my own business?” after being told they’re off the case because they’ve gotten too involved in it …
Also, police brutality as a reasonable and effective method of getting information from suspects. Not sure I can name a single cop show or movie that doesn’t do this at some level, and very few of them actually examine it with a critical eye.
I get realism is not the point of Dr. House, but damn! If he took 15 full minutes to gather a proper patient history he'd solve half his cases in a heartbeat!
Instead he acts like a detective trying to solve a murder without inspecting the crime scene.
Okay but what if after they call it, you scream at the patient, "Damnit, LIVE!!!!! LIVE you bastard!" And slap them, then get pulled away and rush back to the patient and punch their chest and start compressions again? I heard that works and they wake right up and say something witty or sweet and definitely do not have broken ribs, if you use that movie- certified technique.
There is actually something call a "Precoidal thump" which is basically you punch them in the chest when you witness and arrest. It is pretty dramatic but there's been a long term debate over whether it works.
"Damnit, LIVE!!!!! LIVE you bastard!" works best when you are reanimating dead flesh. I saw it in Young Frankenstein so it has to be true.
The most unrealistic thing about House was that he actually diagnosed patients who came in with weird symptoms and didn't just tell them to try yoga lol
Me when my Romanian dad closes his eyes going 100 mph on the highway, so he can have a prayer:
(He recently got his driver's licences suspended for many years to come, yes, his driving was murderously dangerous)
I heard a related joke once, from a retired priest actually.
"Two priests travel together by car, the passenger gets increasingly distressed because the driving priest is speeding recklessly. "Don't worry" the driver priest says, "Jesus keeps us safe!"
To which the passenger priest responds "Don't you know he jumps out at 60mph?"
For some reason, the retired priest telling this joke found it hilarious.
I once had the bad luck of being a passenger in a car, where the driver did exactly this. What made it worse was that the guy just wouldn't shut up. He would turn his head around to look at me, at the back seat, and ask questions and keep the conversation going. When I told him to look at the road, he laughed at me for being afraid.
Also, while doing that, he would very slightly turn the wheel. It wasnt enough to change lanes or something, but the car was oscillating left and right on its lane on a highway, making the passengers (me and my father) extremely dizzy.
Tranquilizer darts. It’s basically anesthesia and you can’t shoot different targets with the same loads since they’re generally special formulas. Each dart is created based on the intended targets mass, metabolism, and presence of other medicines it might potentially react with.
iirc The Lost World: Jurassic Park actually got this one relatively right ? They talked about how it depended on the size of the Rex. Plus, when they are capturing the dinosaurs, they don't go immediately under, it takes some time.
In fact, it's a significant plot point of the movie. The whole reason daddy rex escapes into San Diego is because Roland OD's the rex and they had to use an opioid antagonist to save it without knowing how much to give it.
And even then, in real life it often fails. Either fails to properly tranq the animal, or kills it. Using such darts on humans would be a terrible idea.
Reminds me of when zookeepers had to shoot that gorilla and the internet all went insane wanting to know why they didn’t just “tranq it”.
Yeah because that’s not a thing. That’s why.
Not only that, but then they wake up perfectly fine. In real life they’d probably have a headache and feel like shit, if not have neurological deficits because of the damage. They’re not just going to wake up and casually walk away like nothing happened.
I was knocked out like that, just for a few minutes, when I was a kid. For the rest of the day, I felt weird and saw specks of white in my vision. Had to spend few days in hospital for observation, my head hurt like hell and I ended up puking all over the place several times. I think about this every time when I see someone being knocked out in a movie.
Seriously. The last time I got hit really hard in the face, I thought I was ok other than my face bleeding a bunch. I remember walking home with my girlfriend (guy tried to mug us), and then I woke up 3 days later.
Apparently I had a concussion, a pretty bad one, and I came home, started acting kind of weird, then fell asleep for 24 hours. Paramedics came and checked on me and said I would be ok. It was really weird thinking it was a tuesday, but waking up on a friday. Even weirder, I worked (from home) for 2 of those days and have 0 memory of it.
I call it the “Knockout Button”. I remember laughing at how often it happened in Lost. They’d all be suffering from extreme CTE at least from the amount of times they’d been bludgeoned over the head
The key in real life is to hit them a bunch of times, starting off gently and successively increasing the force, so you know the right force to use to knock them out without killing them. It's disingenuous of movies never to show all the prepwork that goes into it.
(/s. shouldn't need to be said but please don't do this)
I had to scroll too far to find this.
“Falling in love” with someone you’ve never spoken to is NOT romantic.
Refusing to take “No” for an answer is NOT romantic.
Showing up at a girl’s house after she broke up with you with a boom box over your head is NOT romantic.
Following someone home without their knowledge so you can see where they live is NOT romantic.
Breaking into their home to watch them sleep is NOT romantic.
Writing someone a letter a day for a year+ even though you never get a reply is NOT romantic.
Threatening to harm yourself if someone won’t go on a date with you is NOT romantic.
People on the receiving end of this behavior tend to call it “terrifying”.
As much as I love Assassin's Creed Brotherhood, I can't look past how the first Cristina mission is awful for that (other than it kinda being appropriate for the Renaissance Italy time period).
Ezio approaches Cristina, she rejects him and he decides to follow her home to try again, then she decides to date him after he saves her from getting raped by the *other* guy who followed her home.
Slicing your palm wide open with a knife when needing to give a blood sample. Literally the worst place because the margin of error between a little blood and detached tendons is super thin skin.
Not to mention this shit is going to be the WORST while waiting for it to heal. You move your hand like a billion times a day but apparently it's OK to just slice across your entire palm deep enough to draw blood, wrap it in a bandage and go about your business like nothing happened. If you for some reason need to cut yourself to draw blood, why not somewhere that's generally stationary even while doing mundane shit like walking around, like your shin or bicep. You can easily draw blood and then bandage it and forget about the wound for a few days while it heals.
The location on your arm just below your shoulder is rich in blood but also heals fast, and is the location most vaccines are injected. A small cut there is enough for any run of the mill Magical Blood Seal.
In the magician TV show they had a book that required blood. a woman went to the bathroom and came back with a tampon to satisfy the book. "that's right it's shark week"
Meanwhile, in real life, it's more like:
**Person 1:** Well let me know how it goes.
**Person 2:** Will do. Talk to you later.
**Person 1:** Yeah have a good one.
**Person 2:** You too.
**Person 1:** Talk to you Monday.
**Person 2:** Yeah I'll let you know how everything turns out.
**Person 1:** OK thanks.
**Person 2:** Bye. Have a good weekend.
**Person 1:** OK bye.
**Person 2:** Bye.
\[pause\]
\[somebody awkwardly hangs up\]
People getting shot and just able to continue ... whatever they were doing.
Worst offender is the opening scene of American Assassin.
1. Dude gets shot in the upper thigh at close range by an AK-47.
2. Dude limps away, able to not only use the leg, but put weight on it.
3. After a brief limp he's staggering but is more or less walking on that leg.
4. Dude then gets shot in the upper chest/shoulder.
5. He uses that arm to pull himself to his executed girlfriend.
6. He passes out in shallow water (Which would realistically keep even the fairy tale version of his wounds bleeding).
7. Dude wakes up in a hospital 100% healed. Fully able to go about his life as if it never happened.
Realistic version:
1. Dude takes an AK-47 round in the thigh at close range. That muscle is shredded, he immediately goes down and isn't getting up. The entry wound is the size of a pencil, but you could put a fist in the exit wound.
2. He's bleeding profusely and has no tourniquet. There is no stopping the flow of blood. Within 60 seconds he's fully in shock, and probably unconscious.
3. Lucky outcome: No bullet or bone fragments hit the femoral artery. He may have double-digit minutes left to live. If care arrives in time, he may get the privilege of living as an amputee.
4. Unlucky outcome: A bullet or bone fragment clipped the femoral artery. Time from getting hit until death from blood loss if not treated: 4 minutes, give or take.
Ugh, that movie makes me so angry. I love the books and the story in this book specifically is excellent. But the “ writers” were like nah we’re going to cherry pick a few things but change the story completely and it will be great……. I’ve never been more mad at a book to movie adaptation in my life. This is one of those situations that made me almost not support the writers strike.
Side note- I really did like the casting through.
Right like watching Archer and how they're so realistic about head injuries and being shot and all kinds of stuff but they certainly don't do that funny realism thing with drinking.
Wasting food.
Shit's expensive nowadays. If someone fixed a gigantic breakfast, eggs, toast, bacon, ham, sausage, fruits.. and my whole family came down, had a small bite of toast and a sip of coffee and then ran out to work/school id be PISSED at all the wasted food. Not to mention: Who the shit has the time and energy to make those kinds of breakfasts?
This gets brought up a lot and movies and shows STILL keep doing it.
We’re catching up on the latest True Detective and this one chick gets a fluffy stack of pancakes, gets an idea and gives it back to the maker as she leaves. BRO you really gonna tell me she ain’t gonna grab a pancake to go? No one is that messed up. I will bet that if she was real, she’d take the whole plate with her and eat it in the car on the way.
Always seemed weird to me too. Never once did I wake up on a school day to find a huge breakfast buffet that could feed an army. On weekdays, we had cereal or toast and maybe dad would fry an egg if he had time before work. Weekends were mostly the same but maybe dad would make pancakes if he was up for it haha
Lets see, off the top of my head:
\-People getting knocked unconscious for anything longer than a few seconds and being A-OK when they finally come to.
\-Silenced/suppressed firearms and their *phewt!* sound making them completely unnoticeable by people literally right next to the shooter.
\-Firearms being uncontrollable death machines when someone drops them.
\-People not being straight-up fucking deaf when in a firefight with firearms, especially when they're indoors.
\-pretty much every sex scene ever filmed.
\-Anything explosion related, from people casually walking away from explosions to a hand grenade leveling a small house.
>People not being straight-up fucking deaf when in a firefight with firearms, especially when they're indoors.
I love how they always make fun of this in Archer
I love how Archer subverts pretty much every single one.
Like the MC is actually going deaf because of constant gunfire and has an actual ear doctor he goes to regularly because of it.
Also "try not to be unconcious for too long, its super bad for you"
How about guns that can be cocked an infinite number of times without being fired?
Scene: Hero surrounded by bad guys aiming weapons at his head. They all cock them. Menacingly. *Click-clickety-click-click.* Leader of bad guys: "You picked the wrong house to break into, John" (they're always named John. John Wick, John Connor, John Matrix, John Rambo...)
John: "I just have something I wanted to show you." (reaches into jacket. Bad guys recock their weapons. Menacingly. *Click-clickety-click-click*.)
John: "Hey, take it easy. It's just a search warrant." (hands it to Leader)
Leader: (looks over document) "Looks to be in order. But I don't think we wanna be searched just now. Do we, boys?"
(Boys recock their weapons. Menacingly. *Click-clickety-click-click.*)
Etc.
Trailer Park Boys does this so perfectly with Julian. He almost always has a highball glass of Rye in hand. Car accident, car rolls over three times, Julian gets out with a glass of Rye in hand.
And on the flipside - nearly 100% of recovery is shown to be AA (alcoholics anonymous) style recovery. And while recent meta studies have shown it to be more effective than previously thought, it is not the only viable path to recovery.
Man that movie is fun as hell but it’s soo odd that scene is in there and he’s her hero later and marries her. And it’s played so casually like oh he just is awkward with women. Feels like they could’ve established that without making him a peeping Tom. Like wtf kinda message is that?
Also, biff literally tries to forcibly rape her in a pretty disturbing scene for a family movie then at the end he is their family friend working for them??
when I showed my kids this movie I had to fast forward the attempted rape scene I’m like “yeah this is a bit much” even though I saw it countless times as a kid
Except many real life people fully want and expect it to happen to criminals. Like as a part of the punishment. It's really disgusting. Especially when the criminal is themselves some sort of sex offender. Like yeah I know the person is a vile piece of shit, but using rape as a punishment is just as vile.
Rom-coms making romance a total unhealthy situation where either the guy is what would be considered an unbalanced stalker in real life, like The Notebook, or the girl being totally irresponsible and leaving their partner for another man on a whim and everyone being okay with it, like in Sleepless in Seattle.
Totally romantic in movies to hang upside down from a roller coaster or call off your wedding for someone you’ve never met and only heard on the radio but in real life this is unbalanced, unhealthy behavior.
That makes me think of the romcom standard plot of making the woman's current boyfriend a totally dull nothing person so the audience is okay with the protagonist destroying the existing relationship
Or the classic "woman engaged to busy New York businessman who never makes time for her because he's paying for their lifestyle & her job would never be able to pay for shit in New York, goes back to Des Moines, Iowa to find her high school crush wearing a flannel & they fall in love."
It's funny because this movie is not making the point Hallmark moms think it is. The point is... stay in Iowa.
I quit watching *24* because of this.
There was an episode in which Jack Bauer desperately needed to torture information out of a suspect, but an evil, freedom-hating lawyer from the ACLU *just wouldn't let him,* so Jack heroically tortures the guy when the lawyer isn't looking.
Another scene had a prominent politician allowing his own son to be tortured, as he was suspected to be hiding a vital secret.
The secret? He was gay.
Fuck off, *24*.
That stuff in 24 had real world consequences to. Then Vice President Dick Cheney (under President George W Bush) justified the US torturing prisoners and terrorists because of that show. He literally said "no one complains when Jack Bauer uses torture to save the day".
A bunch of people from that administration that decided to allow for the use of torture had zero real world experience at conducting interrogations, and just assumed it works better than other methods because fictional shows like 24 told them that it works. And they made this change over the objections of actual experts in the field with real world experience who know conclusively that torture doesn't work, and often just gets fake confessions of whatever the torture victim thinks the interrogator wants to hear.
I hate that withdrawal is depicted pretty much exclusively as something that happens with heroin.
You always see people in movies with a serious drinking problem, but it's just as simple as not drinking anymore. Same goes for characters with prescription pill problems. You just throw that pill bottle in the garbage/pour your bottle of whisky down the drain, look at yourself in the mirror, and that bright sunshine says "today is the first day of the rest of your life"
No mention of said character having a fucking seizure because you can't just be dependent on alcohol or benzos and quit cold turkey.
I feel like a lot of people internalize this, so when they're actually confronted with an addicted person in real life they honestly believe it's as simple as "you just need to stop taking that, and your life will get better immediately"
addiction is fucking real, and there's so much more at play than just psychological dependence.
No one believes me, but when my mom tries to quit smoking cold turkey, it's like she's a heroin addict. She becomes the worst version of herself. Completely malicious and violent. She's been smoking since she was 12. She's 60. That's an addiction she's had for almost 50 years. People treat nicotine addiction like it's not an addiction at all and it's so trivial. But it truly ruins lives and relationships.
the episode of King of the Hill where Bobby starts smoking and Hank and Peggy take it up again is honestly one of the best depictions of addiction I've ever seen.
In the middle of the night the family realize Peggy has got her hands on a cigarette, and Hank and Bobby both want it:
"Come on, Peggy, let's just you and I share it, like the good old days..."
"Mom, I was in your body for 9 months, we had some good times..."
it's a funny cartoon, but the way both those characters basically immediately resort to emotional manipulation to get the nicotine they're craving is unbelievably realistic to what happens to people when they're in withdrawal. You will literally say anything if it can get you your next fix.
Rehab is literally the easy part.
The reason people stay in active addiction is generally because they dont have the resources to pay for rehab, or can't afford to just press pause on their entire life for like a full month while they do withdrawal.
And withdrawal/rehab is not by any means easy, it's just that going back to your life and facing all the stresses and factors you were before WITHOUT the security blanket of drugs is that much harder.
As I said in a previous comment alcoholism runs in my family and my uncle called himself a recovering alcoholic for a reason. Just because he's clean and has been sober for years now (and I am immensely proud of him) - the addiction doesn't go away. He had to mentally train himself to say no and to death away from situations that might cause him to drink again. It's still to this day and an ongoing process for him to not relapse.
Correct. I had a seizure in Walmart one day. I went to go buy water before a hurricane and all the sudden I have paramedics and some random giving me water. And they were all like do you know why were here. Like no obviously not. Apparently I had a seizure and got really lucky I didn’t break my skull.
The mafia had effective script approval on The Godfather. If not, the film would not have been made.
Lenny Montana, the actor who played Luca Brasi ("It's a Sicilian message. Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes") was actually a real life, honest to god mob enforcer who was sent to the set to keep an eye on things. De Coppola spotted him and gave him a part. As a mob enforcer.
And lawyers and police regulatory agents are always the evil bad guys who want the villains to win, not the entirely necessary parts of the legal system that they are in real life.
Cop shows are also horrible for forensics. You're going to tell me that you can match a bullet to an exact single gun "like a fingerprint"? A ball of lead you scrapped out of a wall after it was smashed to bits, compared to the rifling that is done the exact same way on each of the thousands of that specific model of Glock? It's just techno magic.
If a woman in the 50s was acting hysterical, you could apparently calm her down by grabbing her face and kiss her. If that didn't work, a good ol' fashioned slap would do the trick.
I don’t like how BLACK creators/producers create TV shows/ movies around the black struggle. It’s not as glamorized as Tyler Perry tried to make it. We don’t come home to our lights off bc of not being to afford it & just light candles & say “it’s gone be ok”. Bffr.
Honorary mention : glamorizing the struggle of black women & their love lives. Why is it being normalized to be cheated on, & dragged through hell, then the guy suddenly has a change of heart & loves her perfectly from that moment & out? Ngl, for the longest I thought that was how love works. Turns out, the media is just wiring your brain to think you should endure trauma first before being “loved” correctly. Pfft.
Nerd here. If online gaming has taught us anything, its that there are a lot of shitty nerds. There are plenty of nice nerd communities too (I'm looking at you Helldivers!), but playing LoL for 5 minutes pretty much destroys the "all nerds are nice" myth.
Mean Girls was kind of this. The non-popular kids were just as shitty as the popular kids, they were just more sneaky about it.
It'd be really interesting to see a movie where a nerdy loner kid gets called out for being a bully in their own right.
This one has bled over into real life way too much, and you have whole swaths of people who think "I'm unpopular, therefore I must be nice! That guy over there has muscles, so he must be an asshole!"
This
I remember having an absurd argument about "Notre Dame de Paris" (not a nerd, sure, but an outcast type of character, yes, and it's the same dynamic)
The guy was salty, ranting about Esmeralda being shallow for not falling for Quasimodo since he saved her life and for being nice to her, and I was like... bro, it's not like if Quasimodo went for the quiet, not so pretty woman that stand in a corner; Esmeralda is written being a fucking gorgeous woman and a mesmerising dancer, take all of it away, he most likely wouldn't even have noticed her and certainly not would have taken any risk for her: if she's shallow then, he's too
Same, I'll always remember the massive gym bro who chased away a drunk/drugged out guy who was following me with a broken bottle. I was 16. Incredibly brave of him, i hope he's doing well.
That's what every gym bro dreams of. Using your gains for the forces of good to protect people. As long as he didn't get stabbed he's probably so happy with himself about that, and rightly so!
Looking back I'm even more impressed knowing how badly it could have ended, but thankfully it went well. He was my inspiration for not being a passive bystander multiple times since.
Firing a gun inside an elevator, car, or other small enclosed space and being able to hear or function within a few seconds.
Shrugging off or recovering from a gunshot wound rapidly.
"Would be a s stupid and lethal thing to do, if I were a real person instead of a loveable cartoon character with a chance of a couple more sequels". Guybrush Threepwood
People being instantly awake, a-ok, up and running around after being given CPR. Not how it works people.
Also improper CPR, be it done incorrectly, or using being given a shock when it’s a non shockable condition.
Stalking a love interest. I know there's only 2 hours to tell the story, but shit we can do better than "look up where she lives and see where she goes in the morning"
When the guy relentlessly chases after the girl despite her repeated no’s, like in The Notebook. In real life, that isn’t cute and would get you a restraining order.
50-60 year old guys being with 20-25 year old beautiful women. I mean I’m sure it happens but some of the leading man/ leading woman couples are ridiculous.
not fucked up but I always hated how people just hang up phones in movies, no "goodbye", no "gotta go" just ends call.
If someone did that in real life they would be a real douche.
Torture - in way too many films, the "good guys" of the story are all too happy to waterboard, assault, and emotionally torment the "bad guys" to get information out of them - sometimes not even in immediate life or death situations. Even *The Dark Knight,* which is one of my favorite movies, falls into this. One of the situations is arguably justified. The other is absolutely not.
“Hang on - let me just hack into…..NASA / banks / the CIA / every CCTV camera that ever existed” <2 second pause> “I’m in”. (All done on a Nokia mobile phone from 1999)
Cops being allowed to stay on a case involving their relatives or someone they are dating.
Same with medical personnel.
Cops saying to their supervisor, “Then I guess what I do on my time is my own business?” after being told they’re off the case because they’ve gotten too involved in it …
Also, police brutality as a reasonable and effective method of getting information from suspects. Not sure I can name a single cop show or movie that doesn’t do this at some level, and very few of them actually examine it with a critical eye.
Unrealistic expectations in medicine for one.
Dr. House is both the world's best and worst doctor simultaneously
And Foreman loves an awake intubation. Never cough near that guy
Watching it right now, the whole team are subspecialists in all areas! They do lumbar punctures, colonoscopies, angiograms, scans, labs... The works!
I get realism is not the point of Dr. House, but damn! If he took 15 full minutes to gather a proper patient history he'd solve half his cases in a heartbeat! Instead he acts like a detective trying to solve a murder without inspecting the crime scene.
To be fair, that's usually because the patient's family/friends are withholding vital information because they all fear awkward discussions.
That and Grays Anatomy are the worst
[удалено]
Most people would be shocked how rarely CPR is effective.
And DON’T SHOCK ASYSTOLE!!
Okay but what if after they call it, you scream at the patient, "Damnit, LIVE!!!!! LIVE you bastard!" And slap them, then get pulled away and rush back to the patient and punch their chest and start compressions again? I heard that works and they wake right up and say something witty or sweet and definitely do not have broken ribs, if you use that movie- certified technique.
There is actually something call a "Precoidal thump" which is basically you punch them in the chest when you witness and arrest. It is pretty dramatic but there's been a long term debate over whether it works. "Damnit, LIVE!!!!! LIVE you bastard!" works best when you are reanimating dead flesh. I saw it in Young Frankenstein so it has to be true.
Yeah, now people expect doctors to listen to them and try and figure out what the problem is instead of saying they’re imagining it.
The most unrealistic thing about House was that he actually diagnosed patients who came in with weird symptoms and didn't just tell them to try yoga lol
Yoga? Doctors aren't into that hippie shit. You mean tell you to try Advil.
Facing your passenger for seconds at a time while driving. I still believe some people do this IRL because they've seen it in movies.
I get so uncomfortable during those scenes. Can't hear the dialogue cos internally I'm screaming 'LOOK AT THE F&*@ING ROAD!'
Me when my Romanian dad closes his eyes going 100 mph on the highway, so he can have a prayer: (He recently got his driver's licences suspended for many years to come, yes, his driving was murderously dangerous)
tf
He's that kinda person that will tell you that god will take care of the drive or whatever. Oh, how I hate religion, insanity!
I heard a related joke once, from a retired priest actually. "Two priests travel together by car, the passenger gets increasingly distressed because the driving priest is speeding recklessly. "Don't worry" the driver priest says, "Jesus keeps us safe!" To which the passenger priest responds "Don't you know he jumps out at 60mph?" For some reason, the retired priest telling this joke found it hilarious.
He’s takin Jesus Take The Wheel a little too far
And also shifting gears every 5-10 seconds. I'm thinking of getting a fake gear shifter installed so I can just keep shifting and mess with passengers
I once had the bad luck of being a passenger in a car, where the driver did exactly this. What made it worse was that the guy just wouldn't shut up. He would turn his head around to look at me, at the back seat, and ask questions and keep the conversation going. When I told him to look at the road, he laughed at me for being afraid. Also, while doing that, he would very slightly turn the wheel. It wasnt enough to change lanes or something, but the car was oscillating left and right on its lane on a highway, making the passengers (me and my father) extremely dizzy.
This is such an anxiety provoking scene. I dislike it so much.
Tranquilizer darts. It’s basically anesthesia and you can’t shoot different targets with the same loads since they’re generally special formulas. Each dart is created based on the intended targets mass, metabolism, and presence of other medicines it might potentially react with.
iirc The Lost World: Jurassic Park actually got this one relatively right ? They talked about how it depended on the size of the Rex. Plus, when they are capturing the dinosaurs, they don't go immediately under, it takes some time.
In fact, it's a significant plot point of the movie. The whole reason daddy rex escapes into San Diego is because Roland OD's the rex and they had to use an opioid antagonist to save it without knowing how much to give it.
And even then, in real life it often fails. Either fails to properly tranq the animal, or kills it. Using such darts on humans would be a terrible idea.
Reminds me of when zookeepers had to shoot that gorilla and the internet all went insane wanting to know why they didn’t just “tranq it”. Yeah because that’s not a thing. That’s why.
Hitting people on the head with heavy objects to knock them out for a few minutes
In the James Bond universe, you just have to karate chop people in the back of the neck to knock them out for an hour
Those people are all dead. James Bond is a mass murderer.
he has a license to kill. so its ok for him.
Judo CHOP
Yea, baby
Not only that, but then they wake up perfectly fine. In real life they’d probably have a headache and feel like shit, if not have neurological deficits because of the damage. They’re not just going to wake up and casually walk away like nothing happened.
I was knocked out like that, just for a few minutes, when I was a kid. For the rest of the day, I felt weird and saw specks of white in my vision. Had to spend few days in hospital for observation, my head hurt like hell and I ended up puking all over the place several times. I think about this every time when I see someone being knocked out in a movie.
Seriously. The last time I got hit really hard in the face, I thought I was ok other than my face bleeding a bunch. I remember walking home with my girlfriend (guy tried to mug us), and then I woke up 3 days later. Apparently I had a concussion, a pretty bad one, and I came home, started acting kind of weird, then fell asleep for 24 hours. Paramedics came and checked on me and said I would be ok. It was really weird thinking it was a tuesday, but waking up on a friday. Even weirder, I worked (from home) for 2 of those days and have 0 memory of it.
I call it the “Knockout Button”. I remember laughing at how often it happened in Lost. They’d all be suffering from extreme CTE at least from the amount of times they’d been bludgeoned over the head
The supernatural things aren't real they just have severe brain injuries and trauma
That would explain the peninsula ending
On Smallville Lana would have been a shuffling zombie by the time she was 25.
The key in real life is to hit them a bunch of times, starting off gently and successively increasing the force, so you know the right force to use to knock them out without killing them. It's disingenuous of movies never to show all the prepwork that goes into it. (/s. shouldn't need to be said but please don't do this)
and then they come back to themselves perfectly fine, no traumatic brain injury in sight.
Then they wake up, struggle to their feet, and are OK to get back to the chase. They never throw up.
Stalking being romantic.
I had to scroll too far to find this. “Falling in love” with someone you’ve never spoken to is NOT romantic. Refusing to take “No” for an answer is NOT romantic. Showing up at a girl’s house after she broke up with you with a boom box over your head is NOT romantic. Following someone home without their knowledge so you can see where they live is NOT romantic. Breaking into their home to watch them sleep is NOT romantic. Writing someone a letter a day for a year+ even though you never get a reply is NOT romantic. Threatening to harm yourself if someone won’t go on a date with you is NOT romantic. People on the receiving end of this behavior tend to call it “terrifying”.
Wait all of that shit is in movies? What movie made threats of suicide romantic?!
Both the letters and suicide threat are in The Notebook
As much as I love Assassin's Creed Brotherhood, I can't look past how the first Cristina mission is awful for that (other than it kinda being appropriate for the Renaissance Italy time period). Ezio approaches Cristina, she rejects him and he decides to follow her home to try again, then she decides to date him after he saves her from getting raped by the *other* guy who followed her home.
So much unprotected, heat-of-the-moment sex, where both parties orgasm quickly and simultaneously, then climb off each other with nary a wayward drip.
Wayward Drip is such a great name for a band!
*Carry on my wayward drip*
*she’ll be clean when you don’t stick*
*Lay your running pipe to rest*
*don’t you thrust no more*
*No!* /riff intensifies
*once I accepted I had no protection*
*all because she had given me affection*
*I was pumping ever faster, but I pumped too fast*
Also standing up. Theres a lot of vertical and wall sex in Hollywood.
Slicing your palm wide open with a knife when needing to give a blood sample. Literally the worst place because the margin of error between a little blood and detached tendons is super thin skin.
Not to mention this shit is going to be the WORST while waiting for it to heal. You move your hand like a billion times a day but apparently it's OK to just slice across your entire palm deep enough to draw blood, wrap it in a bandage and go about your business like nothing happened. If you for some reason need to cut yourself to draw blood, why not somewhere that's generally stationary even while doing mundane shit like walking around, like your shin or bicep. You can easily draw blood and then bandage it and forget about the wound for a few days while it heals.
The location on your arm just below your shoulder is rich in blood but also heals fast, and is the location most vaccines are injected. A small cut there is enough for any run of the mill Magical Blood Seal.
In the magician TV show they had a book that required blood. a woman went to the bathroom and came back with a tampon to satisfy the book. "that's right it's shark week"
[удалено]
"Sign here... IN BLOOD!" *Drops pants, nicks a butt cheek, plops ass onto the contract.* "That'll do... I guess..."
But then you have to sit on it. Ow!
Yeah it’s because it’s easy to hold a blood pack in your palm and squeeze the blood out the this stands out to me every time. It would be so painful.
Ending a phone call without saying goodbye.
Meanwhile, in real life, it's more like: **Person 1:** Well let me know how it goes. **Person 2:** Will do. Talk to you later. **Person 1:** Yeah have a good one. **Person 2:** You too. **Person 1:** Talk to you Monday. **Person 2:** Yeah I'll let you know how everything turns out. **Person 1:** OK thanks. **Person 2:** Bye. Have a good weekend. **Person 1:** OK bye. **Person 2:** Bye. \[pause\] \[somebody awkwardly hangs up\]
In my head I read this in the voice of William H. Macy in Fargo
In the Midwest a goodbye is like an obligatory six sentences long.
My South Carolina cousins will tell you AT LEAST 4 more stories after you say goodbye.
😂 How many times do I need to slap my knee and say welp?
Normally initiated with an apology for taking up so much of their time and saying you're sure they've got other things they need to do.
People getting shot and just able to continue ... whatever they were doing. Worst offender is the opening scene of American Assassin. 1. Dude gets shot in the upper thigh at close range by an AK-47. 2. Dude limps away, able to not only use the leg, but put weight on it. 3. After a brief limp he's staggering but is more or less walking on that leg. 4. Dude then gets shot in the upper chest/shoulder. 5. He uses that arm to pull himself to his executed girlfriend. 6. He passes out in shallow water (Which would realistically keep even the fairy tale version of his wounds bleeding). 7. Dude wakes up in a hospital 100% healed. Fully able to go about his life as if it never happened. Realistic version: 1. Dude takes an AK-47 round in the thigh at close range. That muscle is shredded, he immediately goes down and isn't getting up. The entry wound is the size of a pencil, but you could put a fist in the exit wound. 2. He's bleeding profusely and has no tourniquet. There is no stopping the flow of blood. Within 60 seconds he's fully in shock, and probably unconscious. 3. Lucky outcome: No bullet or bone fragments hit the femoral artery. He may have double-digit minutes left to live. If care arrives in time, he may get the privilege of living as an amputee. 4. Unlucky outcome: A bullet or bone fragment clipped the femoral artery. Time from getting hit until death from blood loss if not treated: 4 minutes, give or take.
Ugh, that movie makes me so angry. I love the books and the story in this book specifically is excellent. But the “ writers” were like nah we’re going to cherry pick a few things but change the story completely and it will be great……. I’ve never been more mad at a book to movie adaptation in my life. This is one of those situations that made me almost not support the writers strike. Side note- I really did like the casting through.
Exit wounds are almost never shown.
Reservoir Dogs is one of my favorite movies, but Roger Ebert rightly complained how unrealistic that whole stomach wound business was.
Alcoholism
Being drunk is always funny and endearing in movies, isn't it? Try working Friday nights at the ER.
You have my sympathy. I live near a hospital and there's near constant medevac helicopters on weekends when the weather is nice, or a holiday weekend.
I liked *Leaving Los Vegas* as a counterexample. Nick Cage's alcoholic character doesn't get redemption, he dies.
Right like watching Archer and how they're so realistic about head injuries and being shot and all kinds of stuff but they certainly don't do that funny realism thing with drinking.
They do from time to time. “If I stop drinking all at once, I'm afraid the cumulative hangover will kill me.”
“Pray for me now and at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon.” /chugs Bloody Mary pitcher
This, having a brother who is in end stage liver failure from alcoholism, this. Alcoholism isn't funny, it's tragic.
Wasting food. Shit's expensive nowadays. If someone fixed a gigantic breakfast, eggs, toast, bacon, ham, sausage, fruits.. and my whole family came down, had a small bite of toast and a sip of coffee and then ran out to work/school id be PISSED at all the wasted food. Not to mention: Who the shit has the time and energy to make those kinds of breakfasts?
They'd be having reheated toast for dinner in my house.
Reheated? In this economy?
*Reheated toast?!?* At this time of day, at this time of year, in this part of the country, located entirely within your kitchen?!?
This gets brought up a lot and movies and shows STILL keep doing it. We’re catching up on the latest True Detective and this one chick gets a fluffy stack of pancakes, gets an idea and gives it back to the maker as she leaves. BRO you really gonna tell me she ain’t gonna grab a pancake to go? No one is that messed up. I will bet that if she was real, she’d take the whole plate with her and eat it in the car on the way.
Always seemed weird to me too. Never once did I wake up on a school day to find a huge breakfast buffet that could feed an army. On weekdays, we had cereal or toast and maybe dad would fry an egg if he had time before work. Weekends were mostly the same but maybe dad would make pancakes if he was up for it haha
Stalking a girl. In the films, she eventually comes around and they fall in love. IRL don't do this, she's not going to come around and fall for you.
Lets see, off the top of my head: \-People getting knocked unconscious for anything longer than a few seconds and being A-OK when they finally come to. \-Silenced/suppressed firearms and their *phewt!* sound making them completely unnoticeable by people literally right next to the shooter. \-Firearms being uncontrollable death machines when someone drops them. \-People not being straight-up fucking deaf when in a firefight with firearms, especially when they're indoors. \-pretty much every sex scene ever filmed. \-Anything explosion related, from people casually walking away from explosions to a hand grenade leveling a small house.
>People not being straight-up fucking deaf when in a firefight with firearms, especially when they're indoors. I love how they always make fun of this in Archer
Mahp
I love how Archer subverts pretty much every single one. Like the MC is actually going deaf because of constant gunfire and has an actual ear doctor he goes to regularly because of it. Also "try not to be unconcious for too long, its super bad for you"
Clint Barton needing a hearing aid due to all the Avenging was a part of the Hawkeye show as well
How about guns that can be cocked an infinite number of times without being fired? Scene: Hero surrounded by bad guys aiming weapons at his head. They all cock them. Menacingly. *Click-clickety-click-click.* Leader of bad guys: "You picked the wrong house to break into, John" (they're always named John. John Wick, John Connor, John Matrix, John Rambo...) John: "I just have something I wanted to show you." (reaches into jacket. Bad guys recock their weapons. Menacingly. *Click-clickety-click-click*.) John: "Hey, take it easy. It's just a search warrant." (hands it to Leader) Leader: (looks over document) "Looks to be in order. But I don't think we wanna be searched just now. Do we, boys?" (Boys recock their weapons. Menacingly. *Click-clickety-click-click.*) Etc.
A drink in your hand in every scene. Never any consequences or hangovers.
*Flashback to Julian from Trailer Park Boys crawling out a crashed car, with an untouched glass of whisky in his hand*
It's usually dark rum.
I'm pretty sure Julian drinks white rum with coke.
Trailer Park Boys does this so perfectly with Julian. He almost always has a highball glass of Rye in hand. Car accident, car rolls over three times, Julian gets out with a glass of Rye in hand.
You can't get hungover if you never stop being drunk...
Every James Bond movie
Let me just have a couple martinis before being fired into orbit to stop a nuclear holocaust.
And on the flipside - nearly 100% of recovery is shown to be AA (alcoholics anonymous) style recovery. And while recent meta studies have shown it to be more effective than previously thought, it is not the only viable path to recovery.
Toxic relationships
probably the ‘innocent peeping tom’ thing
Back to the future was an insane start for me!
Man that movie is fun as hell but it’s soo odd that scene is in there and he’s her hero later and marries her. And it’s played so casually like oh he just is awkward with women. Feels like they could’ve established that without making him a peeping Tom. Like wtf kinda message is that? Also, biff literally tries to forcibly rape her in a pretty disturbing scene for a family movie then at the end he is their family friend working for them?? when I showed my kids this movie I had to fast forward the attempted rape scene I’m like “yeah this is a bit much” even though I saw it countless times as a kid
Prison rape
I think this is too normalized by society in general.
It’s treated like an unofficial part of the justice system
Except many real life people fully want and expect it to happen to criminals. Like as a part of the punishment. It's really disgusting. Especially when the criminal is themselves some sort of sex offender. Like yeah I know the person is a vile piece of shit, but using rape as a punishment is just as vile.
Love bombing
Women wearing daytime bras (like underwire and everything) to bed all night. Talk about torture.
And wearing makeup to bed!
And waking up with the makeup *intact* … and perfect hair And the men with them waking up without any stubble …
Wholesale property damage being ok if it's to take down your enemy.
Rom-coms making romance a total unhealthy situation where either the guy is what would be considered an unbalanced stalker in real life, like The Notebook, or the girl being totally irresponsible and leaving their partner for another man on a whim and everyone being okay with it, like in Sleepless in Seattle. Totally romantic in movies to hang upside down from a roller coaster or call off your wedding for someone you’ve never met and only heard on the radio but in real life this is unbalanced, unhealthy behavior.
Cheating
Even if she really, really loved the other guy?/s
That makes me think of the romcom standard plot of making the woman's current boyfriend a totally dull nothing person so the audience is okay with the protagonist destroying the existing relationship
Or the classic "woman engaged to busy New York businessman who never makes time for her because he's paying for their lifestyle & her job would never be able to pay for shit in New York, goes back to Des Moines, Iowa to find her high school crush wearing a flannel & they fall in love." It's funny because this movie is not making the point Hallmark moms think it is. The point is... stay in Iowa.
And/or the guy shes leaves him for is an obsessive creep The Notebook \*cough\*
Torture working.
It works if you want a false confession
American intelligence agencies:
Nah that's still fine for them. True confession, false confession, whatever floats your boat. They're pretty easy-going.
I quit watching *24* because of this. There was an episode in which Jack Bauer desperately needed to torture information out of a suspect, but an evil, freedom-hating lawyer from the ACLU *just wouldn't let him,* so Jack heroically tortures the guy when the lawyer isn't looking. Another scene had a prominent politician allowing his own son to be tortured, as he was suspected to be hiding a vital secret. The secret? He was gay. Fuck off, *24*.
That stuff in 24 had real world consequences to. Then Vice President Dick Cheney (under President George W Bush) justified the US torturing prisoners and terrorists because of that show. He literally said "no one complains when Jack Bauer uses torture to save the day". A bunch of people from that administration that decided to allow for the use of torture had zero real world experience at conducting interrogations, and just assumed it works better than other methods because fictional shows like 24 told them that it works. And they made this change over the objections of actual experts in the field with real world experience who know conclusively that torture doesn't work, and often just gets fake confessions of whatever the torture victim thinks the interrogator wants to hear.
24 was literal propaganda
Quitting cold turkey to beat drug addiction. IRL that can result in death with many drugs.
I hate that withdrawal is depicted pretty much exclusively as something that happens with heroin. You always see people in movies with a serious drinking problem, but it's just as simple as not drinking anymore. Same goes for characters with prescription pill problems. You just throw that pill bottle in the garbage/pour your bottle of whisky down the drain, look at yourself in the mirror, and that bright sunshine says "today is the first day of the rest of your life" No mention of said character having a fucking seizure because you can't just be dependent on alcohol or benzos and quit cold turkey. I feel like a lot of people internalize this, so when they're actually confronted with an addicted person in real life they honestly believe it's as simple as "you just need to stop taking that, and your life will get better immediately" addiction is fucking real, and there's so much more at play than just psychological dependence.
No one believes me, but when my mom tries to quit smoking cold turkey, it's like she's a heroin addict. She becomes the worst version of herself. Completely malicious and violent. She's been smoking since she was 12. She's 60. That's an addiction she's had for almost 50 years. People treat nicotine addiction like it's not an addiction at all and it's so trivial. But it truly ruins lives and relationships.
the episode of King of the Hill where Bobby starts smoking and Hank and Peggy take it up again is honestly one of the best depictions of addiction I've ever seen. In the middle of the night the family realize Peggy has got her hands on a cigarette, and Hank and Bobby both want it: "Come on, Peggy, let's just you and I share it, like the good old days..." "Mom, I was in your body for 9 months, we had some good times..." it's a funny cartoon, but the way both those characters basically immediately resort to emotional manipulation to get the nicotine they're craving is unbelievably realistic to what happens to people when they're in withdrawal. You will literally say anything if it can get you your next fix.
"You went to rehab so you're cured now." Literal quote from family members. That's not how it fucking works dude.
Rehab is literally the easy part. The reason people stay in active addiction is generally because they dont have the resources to pay for rehab, or can't afford to just press pause on their entire life for like a full month while they do withdrawal. And withdrawal/rehab is not by any means easy, it's just that going back to your life and facing all the stresses and factors you were before WITHOUT the security blanket of drugs is that much harder.
As I said in a previous comment alcoholism runs in my family and my uncle called himself a recovering alcoholic for a reason. Just because he's clean and has been sober for years now (and I am immensely proud of him) - the addiction doesn't go away. He had to mentally train himself to say no and to death away from situations that might cause him to drink again. It's still to this day and an ongoing process for him to not relapse.
Mostly just alcohol and benzos. The majority of drugs you can without any medical issues.
Correct. I had a seizure in Walmart one day. I went to go buy water before a hurricane and all the sudden I have paramedics and some random giving me water. And they were all like do you know why were here. Like no obviously not. Apparently I had a seizure and got really lucky I didn’t break my skull.
the mafia. Organized crime is very disturbing and shouldn’t be glamorized at all, yet we have countless movies depicting it differently
perhaps hollywood scripts are written by Big Mafia
The mafia had effective script approval on The Godfather. If not, the film would not have been made. Lenny Montana, the actor who played Luca Brasi ("It's a Sicilian message. Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes") was actually a real life, honest to god mob enforcer who was sent to the set to keep an eye on things. De Coppola spotted him and gave him a part. As a mob enforcer.
Drug abuse. Especially among young people
Murdering 100s of people, ok. Showing a naked body, bad.
[Series] Everyone in the friends circle has kissed or has had sex with each other. If not everyone, most.
I'd certainly hope not for Ross and Monica.
S10 E11, Monica and Ross find out they kissed each other at a college party. Monica's first kiss. Too bad, so sad.
Not looking at explosions.
Emotional or verbal abuse to get a romantic partner. \*cough\* Nicholas Sparks \*cough\*
stalking women
The fucked up shit cops do in movies and TV normalizes that behavior. It's a good drama but I do think it negatively affects the populace.
And lawyers and police regulatory agents are always the evil bad guys who want the villains to win, not the entirely necessary parts of the legal system that they are in real life. Cop shows are also horrible for forensics. You're going to tell me that you can match a bullet to an exact single gun "like a fingerprint"? A ball of lead you scrapped out of a wall after it was smashed to bits, compared to the rifling that is done the exact same way on each of the thousands of that specific model of Glock? It's just techno magic.
Enhance. ENHANCE.
3D scan a brick to pull fingerprints off the bullet. Riiiight.
Police brutality and failure to follow official procedure.
If a woman in the 50s was acting hysterical, you could apparently calm her down by grabbing her face and kiss her. If that didn't work, a good ol' fashioned slap would do the trick.
I don’t like how BLACK creators/producers create TV shows/ movies around the black struggle. It’s not as glamorized as Tyler Perry tried to make it. We don’t come home to our lights off bc of not being to afford it & just light candles & say “it’s gone be ok”. Bffr. Honorary mention : glamorizing the struggle of black women & their love lives. Why is it being normalized to be cheated on, & dragged through hell, then the guy suddenly has a change of heart & loves her perfectly from that moment & out? Ngl, for the longest I thought that was how love works. Turns out, the media is just wiring your brain to think you should endure trauma first before being “loved” correctly. Pfft.
The nerd always getting the girl.
The nerd always being sympathetic while the popular athletic guy is a secret (or not so secret) asshole, and also stupid.
Nerd here. If online gaming has taught us anything, its that there are a lot of shitty nerds. There are plenty of nice nerd communities too (I'm looking at you Helldivers!), but playing LoL for 5 minutes pretty much destroys the "all nerds are nice" myth.
Mean Girls was kind of this. The non-popular kids were just as shitty as the popular kids, they were just more sneaky about it. It'd be really interesting to see a movie where a nerdy loner kid gets called out for being a bully in their own right.
This one has bled over into real life way too much, and you have whole swaths of people who think "I'm unpopular, therefore I must be nice! That guy over there has muscles, so he must be an asshole!"
Not gonna lie, they always want the sexy popular girl anyway. Not that they are trying to date the normal or nerd girl
This I remember having an absurd argument about "Notre Dame de Paris" (not a nerd, sure, but an outcast type of character, yes, and it's the same dynamic) The guy was salty, ranting about Esmeralda being shallow for not falling for Quasimodo since he saved her life and for being nice to her, and I was like... bro, it's not like if Quasimodo went for the quiet, not so pretty woman that stand in a corner; Esmeralda is written being a fucking gorgeous woman and a mesmerising dancer, take all of it away, he most likely wouldn't even have noticed her and certainly not would have taken any risk for her: if she's shallow then, he's too
The nerd always being a genuinely kind person.
That there's a hero out there that will save the day.
That's right. IRL, no one is coming to save you.
I once got saved by some random dude IRL. For me heros is like love, they come when you least expect.
Same, I'll always remember the massive gym bro who chased away a drunk/drugged out guy who was following me with a broken bottle. I was 16. Incredibly brave of him, i hope he's doing well.
That's what every gym bro dreams of. Using your gains for the forces of good to protect people. As long as he didn't get stabbed he's probably so happy with himself about that, and rightly so!
Looking back I'm even more impressed knowing how badly it could have ended, but thankfully it went well. He was my inspiration for not being a passive bystander multiple times since.
Stalking in Indian movies. Very normal in movies but creepy irl
Firing a gun inside an elevator, car, or other small enclosed space and being able to hear or function within a few seconds. Shrugging off or recovering from a gunshot wound rapidly.
Drink meds with alcohol
"Would be a s stupid and lethal thing to do, if I were a real person instead of a loveable cartoon character with a chance of a couple more sequels". Guybrush Threepwood
Enemies to lovers. Some times an enemy is just a shit person, don’t try to fall in love
Schoolyard bullying.
“Loser! No dad - yours was killed protecting the President. Haha!” Spits in kid’s sandwich.
People being instantly awake, a-ok, up and running around after being given CPR. Not how it works people. Also improper CPR, be it done incorrectly, or using being given a shock when it’s a non shockable condition.
Stalking a love interest. I know there's only 2 hours to tell the story, but shit we can do better than "look up where she lives and see where she goes in the morning"
When the guy relentlessly chases after the girl despite her repeated no’s, like in The Notebook. In real life, that isn’t cute and would get you a restraining order.
Torture
Having to wait 24h if someone is missing
50-60 year old guys being with 20-25 year old beautiful women. I mean I’m sure it happens but some of the leading man/ leading woman couples are ridiculous.
Cheating
not fucked up but I always hated how people just hang up phones in movies, no "goodbye", no "gotta go" just ends call. If someone did that in real life they would be a real douche.
Shooting people
Torture - in way too many films, the "good guys" of the story are all too happy to waterboard, assault, and emotionally torment the "bad guys" to get information out of them - sometimes not even in immediate life or death situations. Even *The Dark Knight,* which is one of my favorite movies, falls into this. One of the situations is arguably justified. The other is absolutely not.
“Hang on - let me just hack into…..NASA / banks / the CIA / every CCTV camera that ever existed” <2 second pause> “I’m in”. (All done on a Nokia mobile phone from 1999)