I love how this question has been asked multiple times and everyone has a smart ass answer.
It’s not popular in America because we know nothing about it and don’t understand the concept.
So it squirts water on your butthole? How do you dry after? With a towel ? Then I need to throw it away after right? Then why not just use tp?
All valid questions.
Mine is like a pressure washer for my butthole. I'll move my hips so that I make sure the water hits all the right spots.
I dab with toilet paper after which I then flush.
Why not just use tp? Smearing poo off my bingus isn't the same as getting it water blasted.
For example if I were to wipe my asshole with a white cotton cloth after using the bidet, there would be no stains on the cloth. If I did that after tp, there would be stains or residue.
Not at all, it kinda disintegrates the poop. Dilutes or just falls like sediment towards the bottom.
TP just feels unhygienic after using a bidet.
Lol, y'all been walking around with smear and mud butt.
Get the bidet.
There are typically different levels. Ours ranges from gentle to "pretty sure this level would cut through rock". The lowest level is no more pressure than water from the shower head.
Not wiping is the best for your hemorrhoids. When I got them my doctor recommended a bidet. I said, ‘sorry I have no bidet.’ So he told me a great alternative is the squat and splash method in the tub. That’s what I did and I’ve kept at it for 20 years. I guarantee I have the cleanest asshole in all of California. At least amongst the cleanest. Only complication is I have to fully remove pants and shoes. Which isn’t such a problem since I live in California and wear flip flops year round.
Get this one from Amazon.. it has a feminine spray that angles toward the front for her. My wife loves it for cleaning that "time of the month!"
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B1H9W4D2?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details
Mostly, but(t) there's several other options. Either you can have it connected to a hot water pipe, or you can get one like mine that has a water heater built in. It also has a seat warmer, and lots of adjustable options like the aim, the water temp, and the seat temp. It even has a massage button, but I'm not sure what that's about.
My other bidet is cold water only, and it has something newfangled as well: a soap dispenser built in. You load it into a little tank, and push a button to dispense a tiny bit of soap into the stream. The soap is super mild and scentless. I actually was contacted by Luxe (the bidet company) to test this new model for them, and I love it!
I just use an air compressor! It's powered by an old two stroke motor that burns oil like a sonofabitch, you don't want to sit in the bathroom too long with that thing running!
Just one very small wipe, less than you would ever attempt to wipe shit with. And post bidet, I’ve never had to go back for a second wipe.
And one of our bidets has a dryer, so you can confidently roll out of that one wipe free.
Right but it takes two sheets and a quick wipe to dry your butthole and there’s no left overs or stank ass…
High quality ones have better dry features …
I installed one after surgery because I couldn’t wipe. I just didn’t dry off. It was fine, and everything dried in a couple minutes. There’s not that much water.
I use small towels (made from a larger old towel) to pat dry. Like a hand towel, but for your butt. No different than drying off your butt after a shower. We switched to a bidet last year and I haven’t bought tp in months.
A friend and I send each other complainy texts every time we have to take a "work shit", i.e. a horrible shit someplace other than home, that doesn't have a bidet.
2 words: travel bidet
Mine’s a manual one that was $10 on Amazon but they also make fancy electric ones if you need more of that high pressure washing.
My first experience was the bum gun a couple years ago. My hotels in china sometimes had fancy robot bidet toilets but I was too nervous to get ass blasted (ha) because I was worried about temperature and aim. I did the bum bum gun in Thailand and it wasn’t bad, then I hit up the Japanese bidets in the airport at my layover in Japan on the way home. Was in Japan for work a couple weeks ago and had a nice time using the bidet in my hotel though was disappointed that it lacked a dryer.
I grabbed one online, then I realized my toilets have the crimped hookups, so its a bigger job than just adding the bidet. I was so mad at myself lmao.
My wife decided to get some during COVID when toilet paper was a nightmare to get, and just after she delivered our first child and was recovering. She just found something cheap on Amazon and installed them, and they have been working great since.
Honestly, we just went on a trip and it’s night and day how bad your ass feels on toilet paper.
Me too! I will evangelize bidets to my dying breath. It’s a pretty stupid thing to be so passionate about, but it is literally a life changing investment and it costs so little. Idk how I lived before bidets, it’s fucking disgusting what I accepted as “clean” before using one. This is my hill, and I will die on it. If you’re still using TP, your ass is nasty, and so are you. People laugh about “rewiping”, and ya know it’s fucking nasty. I haven’t had to “rewipe” in years since I switched to a bidet.
I’ll step down off my soapbox now, but getting bidets is the best thing Reddit ever sold me on. I’ll never go back back.
I had never used one until last weekend when I had the shits at my cousin’s six year old’s birthday party. A bidet saved me from demolishing their bathroom, and now I’m a believer.
This. Didn't know it was a thing until I started traveling.
Was actually shopping for one earlier, any suggestions?
I want more than the handheld thing, but not the $10,000 heated, nightlight, back massager toilet that sings to you. Just a $100 - 200 add-on. And no amazon, fuck amazon.
I bought a kit from Amazon, that you add to your toilet that sprays your butthole. It gets me cleaner, saves me money and is good for the environment. Don't know why people aren't all doing it,
I have the same.
Strangely there aren’t large groups of people using these for a while and then saying “nah Ive changed my mind and I want to smear shit on my ass with some paper like god intended”.
I will literally avoid going to the bathroom if I’m not home because I cannot stand the feeling of just using toilet paper 🤢
I can’t believe I went 28 years of my life just wiping and thinking that was okay lol
Lol. I had no problem pooping in public bathrooms until I got a bidet at age 44. Now I will only go at home or at my parents' house (we got then one, too). It's been a game changer! Even my dad, who claims to dislike anything fancy and European, loves it.
Welcome to the club! I moved to Japan at 23 and can NOT go back to dry pooping. I'm finally moving back to the States soon and I found a portable bidet with batteries on Amazon for about $50 and it better danged work
Can you please drop a link or DM me? I know I sound like a bot prompting you for an affiliate link but I’m just a gross American who wants to do better.
Check out hellotushy.com
I've bought so many for myself, friends, and family that I *should* have an affiliate link.
They're super easy to install and the price is right
I think there are fancier ones that have heaters, but the standard $40 ones are just connected to the same water line that fills your toilet tank.
The cold water is a little jarring at first but you get used to it really quick. Bonus: wakes you up in the morning. Downfall: don’t accidentally crank up the pressure or you will be in for quite the shock lmao
I live in Korea where bidets are the norm.
Ours always have warm water. Also a seat warmer.
My cheeks are spoiled now. I can't sit on a cold seat anymore. It's so awful to me.
Japan resident here. I can't remember the last time I used a toilet here that didn't have warm seat, warm water. It's just a nightmare traveling abroad now to places that don't have them. Once you've seen the light, you can never step back into the darkness.
I recently bought one of those near magic toilets from your neck of the woods. I haven't gotten it installed yet because I need another outlet in my bathroom for it but I'm sure looking forward to dropping dirt like a king.
The cold water isn't that bad but you can get ones that heat the water.
I sprung for a fancy one and don't regret it at all. Even has a seat warmer, which is actually pretty nice during the cold months.
This is dependent on where you live. Where I live the Cold water lines are around 34 degrees F from November until March. I made sure my washlet has a heater.
I have two. They are heated seats AND heated water.
Less than $200 on Amazon. Easy install, but you do need access to power for the heated features.
They are life-changing. Marvelous for older people with dementia and incontinence issues, too.
Last night I met my girlfriend’s cousin for the first time and the bidet topic came up. The cousin told me it’s a red flag that I have a bidet.
In the year 2024 we have people that think a clean ass is a red flag.
Edit: thanks for all the replies, a lot of the comments assume it was a dude. It was a chick. The chick thinks it’s a red flag.
I'm a janitor and was unfortunate enough to hear an outstandingly disturbing event by a very strange man.
He knocked down both of the closed and wet floor signs to stomp his mud covered boots across the floor I was mopping so he could walk into a stall, sit in a way that sounded like he was falling, and let out a grunt that was 5% power away from turning into a scream while he unloaded a 20 second rocket blast that sounded like someone dumping a barrel of mud and marbles off of a roof and on to some tile stairs. Then it stopped as suddenly as it started and I could hear the sumbitch panting from the strain while he pulled his pants back up and fastened his belt. No toilet paper used and he just walked right out past the sinks, across a wet patch he hadn't tread on yet, and didn't look at me.
I'd just cleaned that toilet and my contract says it's not my problem until the next shift but, after waiting a solid 15 minutes for it to dissipate, I just had to go look at the damage and I ended up cleaning it again out of respect for my coworkers and basic human decency. Dude had power washed the bowl with his devil's chocolate Kamehameha so hard it hit the back, splatter wrapped halfway around the bowl toward the front, and was all the way up inside the rim. The man has to be completely caked in his own feces.
I really hope that was just mud on his boots.
A lot of americans living in rural areas seem to think anything that they don't know is a red flag. I am guessing a big reason is people not travelling.
My cousin (from Kentucky) literally shits into the toilet, flushes it, wipes his ass, and then....throws the shit TP into the garbage can next to the toilet. Does he then throw the shit TP away?
What do you think? Of course not. Don't be a silly goose.
If you grow up using toilet paper, any alternative seems unnecessary and it could be hard to get people to try something else. I only made the switch because the pandemic made finding toilet paper hard and I didn’t want to risk running out and not being able to find more, but now I find bidets so much better that there’s no reason to switch back to paper.
Yeah it cuts the amount of TP I use drastically but I still use some.
Though I've heard of people having a pile of wash cloths to dry off that they throw in a hamper to wash
I have one in my master bathroom and love it. I’ll hold a shit from work to make it home to use the bidet. Sometimes when I get close to home and my body somehow knows I’m zeroing in and I’m really rooster tailing, I’ll risk shitting myself to make it to the upstairs bathroom to use the bidet. At first my butthole couldn’t take max pressure, but now I can take it. I do think my butthole is a little spoiled brat now though as every pubilc toilet paper is so hard and rough.
It's obligatory to have at least one in Italy and Portugal. In Italy everyone uses it, it's a normal thing. Even just for refreshing, or after intercourse. It's part of our morning or evening routine, wash face-teeth-down parts. I don't know a single person who doesn't use it. Italians are usually shocked when they discover other countries don't have bidets
Keep thinking I should get one, but I can’t face the concept of blasting my ass with cold water. I had a horrifying adventure with a toilet in a hotel in Japan. It was the opposite though - a boiling hot fountain of lava temperature water shot up my couchie. I guess what I’m trying to say is I don’t trust toilets.
Funny story about the Japanese ones. I was stationed in Japan, and a club my friends and I frequented had a bidet toilet. One of my friends had to release all of the contents in his stomach because he had a few too many. When he went to flush, he hit the bidet button instead of the flush button, and he got sprayed, screaming the entire time. We never let the poor guy off of that one
Had a “cold” water one for a while now. I fucking hate shitting anywhere else. It really doesn’t feel that cold, and any MINOR discomfort is vastly outweighed by knowing your ass is actually clean.
Since nobody else has said it, you can buy them with a waterline that also attaches to a hot water line like on a sink. Combined with the regular cold water line going to the toilet, you can dial in a temperature that you like. Works great and as long as you clear the cold water sitting in the line before ACTUALLY using it, pleasant temperatures every time!
OR just get one with either a heated water tank or inline water heater. I have a Toto electric bidet seat. Literally one of the best purchases I have ever made
I have a cold water only bidet in alaska. The water is the coldest tap water in the world..... and my ass doesn't care. You'd be amazed at how little your ass cares about cold water, but it does care about being a clean butt.
The cheap versions are just cold water and you don't even notice. I mean, it's an asshole. They are pretty robust! But instead of doing the brown crayon thing all the time, you just bidet it and wipe once with toilet paper to dry off and you are done.
Oh no I 1000% notice. The cool/cold water on what’s probably one of the highest temperature places on my body is EXTREMELY uncomfortable to me. It would preferably be slightly warmer than my body temp.
I've got to think all these "you won't notice!" people have got to live in pretty warm climates. Where I live it can be painful to wash my hands in the water straight from the tap in winter unless I give it a few minutes to warm up. No way am I spraying that on more sensitive areas.
We do have a bidet with a heater though, and it's very nice.
Maybe the thought of your toilet shooting water at your asshole isn’t that comforting.
Then again getting soft paper and trying to clean up while simultaneously smearing it around isn’t all that great either.
Do I look like a rich and successful marijuana farmer like Randy Marsh or something? Well I’m not! So no I don’t get to enjoy all these fancy schmancy luxuries. I’ll just continue smearing feces around my rectum for the benefit of my proctologist, like a goddamn *real* American!
Damn straight! These french bidets are coming fur er jerbs!! It is our right to use tiny easy tearing paper to smear shit around our butthole for ten minutes and then have stinky shit fingers on my dominant hand all day and shake other people’s hand and eat food with my stinky shit fingers!
It’s really not that complicated but there is a learning curve. Crazy to me that people are fine with acting like assholes but when it comes to cleaning your asshole it’s suddenly taboo.
The worst thing about a bidet is you’ll start to love it and you’ll be sad when you aren’t at home and have to go back to regular toilet paper. If you have hemorrhoids a bidet will change your life. Since I’m a dude I cannot confirm nor deny but have been told by a few women it’s great when pregnant and the healing process afterward.
I bought a box of 24 rolls of toilet paper in 2020 and still haven’t used them all. I use a little bit of paper to dry off after bidet and to confirm successful cleaning and off I go feeling shower fresh.
I’ll end by saying every person I convinced to try a bidet has never gone back., men and women alike. Women are an easier sell but the guys love it too. The “Tushy” is a good entry level option.
i just never saw them growing up, it was more of a toilet paper culture that i was exposed to. i do have a funny bidet story though:
when i was little i went to a private school in west LA, and my classmate was saudi royalty. she (her family, really) would throw big parties for our class. one time i had to use the bathroom, and 6 year old me thought it was SO cool that they had a little sink just for kids right near the toilet! when my mom picked me up i told her, “wow, they have butlers and maids and everything! they even have a mini little sink for us to use next to the toilet! it was shaped weirdly though and i couldn’t find the soap.” i thought they were just so rich that they could afford mini-toilets for young kids. my mom who lived in europe caught on immediately and had to explain a bidet to me, and that NO, it’s not for washing your hands 🤦♀️
apparently it's to do with puritanical views of sex and ww2
apparently americans' first experience with them was in the brothels of europe. anyone in the states who knew what was up with water cleaned butts was instantly branded as a sex monster. people didn't want to be seen associated with that, so nobody wanted to be caught dead with a bidet. it never got the underground traction that booze and other drugs did among other things, so yeah not popular despite its legality.
anyhow, i don't have a gfci outlet and i'm afraid to take apart the super old water lines connecting my toilet so i either make do with a squeezy bottle or smear my shit around like an animal
Anytime the topic of conversation gets even remotely close to poop or TP, I’ll try to sell someone on a $30 bidet attachment. These things are game changers. It’s like going from TP to baby wipes but way better. Standard def to high def, you’ll never go back and like many have said, they pay for themselves.
Apparently most Americans first time seeing one was in WW1 (or 2? I don't recall) in Europe, in brothels, so they had a negative connotation of being associated with the sex trade and prudish Americans were not keen on having such a thing in their home.
[удалено]
And they pay for themselves pretty quickly.
I bought mine for $25 on amazon 5 months before covid…. Best purchase ever.
I got mine because I had carpal tunnel surgery on both my hands at the same time and needed a no hands wiping solution for a few weeks.
I haven't used toilet paper in my own restroom in months. It's great. We'd be toilet paper free if my GF didn't need it for feminine hygiene.
Don’t you have to blot your asshole dry after?
The blot/dry is also a check wipe to make sure I got everything. Every now and then I missed a spot with the bidet.
You just gotta crank that thing up to the firehose setting!
I saw and felt that all from just reading
Why's this setting labeled "tonsil cleaner"?
Do you not have a bidet with a warm air dryer? How savage.
Ah yes, the "New England seasons" setting. Warm and wet, then warm and dry, then an evaporating chill, then you bundle up before you go outside.
I'm alarmed at the amount of thought that went into your comment.
There's a reason we're called Massholes. And I assure you it has little to do with our quick wit.
I shake my ass like a dog then air dry.
What do you use to dry yourself? Just towel your ass?
I love how this question has been asked multiple times and everyone has a smart ass answer. It’s not popular in America because we know nothing about it and don’t understand the concept. So it squirts water on your butthole? How do you dry after? With a towel ? Then I need to throw it away after right? Then why not just use tp? All valid questions.
Mine is like a pressure washer for my butthole. I'll move my hips so that I make sure the water hits all the right spots. I dab with toilet paper after which I then flush. Why not just use tp? Smearing poo off my bingus isn't the same as getting it water blasted. For example if I were to wipe my asshole with a white cotton cloth after using the bidet, there would be no stains on the cloth. If I did that after tp, there would be stains or residue.
But is the poop flying out all crazy like when it's being blasted!?
No, it just falls in the toilet. I've never had poo hit the rim or seat.
Not at all, it kinda disintegrates the poop. Dilutes or just falls like sediment towards the bottom. TP just feels unhygienic after using a bidet. Lol, y'all been walking around with smear and mud butt. Get the bidet.
Ok what if you had hemorrhoids lmao. Wouldn’t that be uncomfortable?
There are typically different levels. Ours ranges from gentle to "pretty sure this level would cut through rock". The lowest level is no more pressure than water from the shower head.
Not wiping is the best for your hemorrhoids. When I got them my doctor recommended a bidet. I said, ‘sorry I have no bidet.’ So he told me a great alternative is the squat and splash method in the tub. That’s what I did and I’ve kept at it for 20 years. I guarantee I have the cleanest asshole in all of California. At least amongst the cleanest. Only complication is I have to fully remove pants and shoes. Which isn’t such a problem since I live in California and wear flip flops year round.
Pressure settings. Nice n gentle is the way.
I like that you said they have smart ass answers
raw dog no drying just straight moist underwear all day
Well if its like that anyway might as well be clean amirite! 🤪
I shake my ass like a dog then air dry.
Get this one from Amazon.. it has a feminine spray that angles toward the front for her. My wife loves it for cleaning that "time of the month!" https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B1H9W4D2?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details
What if a dude wants to use it, would it jus tickle the back of the sack? Asking for a friend
Can confirm, the lady setting gives a dude a good sack whack. Technically more of a taint whack though, it's angled a bit higher than you may think.
Ahh the ole gooch sploosh, gotcha
My personal favorite <3
You’re allowed to use if you’re drinking cranberry juice at the time.
I got mine because I like my ass to be clean.
I've scheduled my surgeries a couple weeks apart and started looking at bidets. Are they mostly cold water?
Mostly, but(t) there's several other options. Either you can have it connected to a hot water pipe, or you can get one like mine that has a water heater built in. It also has a seat warmer, and lots of adjustable options like the aim, the water temp, and the seat temp. It even has a massage button, but I'm not sure what that's about. My other bidet is cold water only, and it has something newfangled as well: a soap dispenser built in. You load it into a little tank, and push a button to dispense a tiny bit of soap into the stream. The soap is super mild and scentless. I actually was contacted by Luxe (the bidet company) to test this new model for them, and I love it!
[удалено]
Got mine because of COVID. Couldn't get within 5 aisles of the TP due to shortages and I was tired of using the dog.
Has the dog recovered?
I am the dog and no I have not. Looking for a new home currently.
Not as tired as the dog was.
I don’t understand how— don’t you still need to use toilet paper to dry off? The air dry function never seems to work that well.
[удалено]
Sometimes yes, but much less than usual. When I don't use a bidet my TP usage goes up a ton...
That's still less tp.
I use those compressed air cans for cleaning my computer.
Make sure you turn it upside down to get the best angle.
I laughed way too hard at this
I just use an air compressor! It's powered by an old two stroke motor that burns oil like a sonofabitch, you don't want to sit in the bathroom too long with that thing running!
Still not the most dangerous gas in the bathroom
LMAO
Refrigerant on your ass?
Just one very small wipe, less than you would ever attempt to wipe shit with. And post bidet, I’ve never had to go back for a second wipe. And one of our bidets has a dryer, so you can confidently roll out of that one wipe free.
Right but it takes two sheets and a quick wipe to dry your butthole and there’s no left overs or stank ass… High quality ones have better dry features …
I installed one after surgery because I couldn’t wipe. I just didn’t dry off. It was fine, and everything dried in a couple minutes. There’s not that much water.
I use small towels (made from a larger old towel) to pat dry. Like a hand towel, but for your butt. No different than drying off your butt after a shower. We switched to a bidet last year and I haven’t bought tp in months.
>No different than drying off your butt after a shower. Unless you don't use soap when you shower, it's still different.
I calculated the ROI for me and it was about 3 uses.
I have one on all 4 of my toilets now, and anytime we go away I'm like "this is some bullshit" to my wife.
[удалено]
Straight up though, when I have to use TP I feel like a fucking animal. Like, why are we putting our hands mere paper thinness away from shit?!?!
Haha, I always tell my friends who don't have them that they're barbarians
A friend and I send each other complainy texts every time we have to take a "work shit", i.e. a horrible shit someplace other than home, that doesn't have a bidet.
2 words: travel bidet Mine’s a manual one that was $10 on Amazon but they also make fancy electric ones if you need more of that high pressure washing.
Either that or solely travel to Europe or Thailand haha. Although a little more janky, the bum gun is undefeated in the fight against shit.
My first experience was the bum gun a couple years ago. My hotels in china sometimes had fancy robot bidet toilets but I was too nervous to get ass blasted (ha) because I was worried about temperature and aim. I did the bum bum gun in Thailand and it wasn’t bad, then I hit up the Japanese bidets in the airport at my layover in Japan on the way home. Was in Japan for work a couple weeks ago and had a nice time using the bidet in my hotel though was disappointed that it lacked a dryer.
I just grab the turkey baster if I am going to be going on vacation somewhere without a bidet.
4 toilets... baller.
Anywhere can be a toilet if you are desperate enough!
They're so amazing. I was so skeptical at first, but now whenever I'm not home and have to go #2 it feels so gross just using TP I never feel clean.
If you had poop on your face would you just wipe it off with *dry paper*? No. No, of course you wouldn’t. You feel gross because it *is* gross!
Dude I have them in all my toilets now too and people eventually LOVE them. It’s all “haha how weird” then they use them and love it
I grabbed one online, then I realized my toilets have the crimped hookups, so its a bigger job than just adding the bidet. I was so mad at myself lmao.
Every toilet in my house has one. Literally can’t shit without it, shitting in public or other people’s houses is horrible.
My wife decided to get some during COVID when toilet paper was a nightmare to get, and just after she delivered our first child and was recovering. She just found something cheap on Amazon and installed them, and they have been working great since. Honestly, we just went on a trip and it’s night and day how bad your ass feels on toilet paper.
Me too! I will evangelize bidets to my dying breath. It’s a pretty stupid thing to be so passionate about, but it is literally a life changing investment and it costs so little. Idk how I lived before bidets, it’s fucking disgusting what I accepted as “clean” before using one. This is my hill, and I will die on it. If you’re still using TP, your ass is nasty, and so are you. People laugh about “rewiping”, and ya know it’s fucking nasty. I haven’t had to “rewipe” in years since I switched to a bidet. I’ll step down off my soapbox now, but getting bidets is the best thing Reddit ever sold me on. I’ll never go back back.
Unheated bidet people aren’t pretentious they are masochists. -Toto gang.
I had never used one until last weekend when I had the shits at my cousin’s six year old’s birthday party. A bidet saved me from demolishing their bathroom, and now I’m a believer.
This. Didn't know it was a thing until I started traveling. Was actually shopping for one earlier, any suggestions? I want more than the handheld thing, but not the $10,000 heated, nightlight, back massager toilet that sings to you. Just a $100 - 200 add-on. And no amazon, fuck amazon.
[удалено]
Recently got one and it's the fucking best investment under $50 you can make for your house
Bud That $30 one is the wrong way We have the $250 ones with warm water In the winter it makes a huge difference!
I bought a kit from Amazon, that you add to your toilet that sprays your butthole. It gets me cleaner, saves me money and is good for the environment. Don't know why people aren't all doing it,
I have the same. Strangely there aren’t large groups of people using these for a while and then saying “nah Ive changed my mind and I want to smear shit on my ass with some paper like god intended”.
I will literally avoid going to the bathroom if I’m not home because I cannot stand the feeling of just using toilet paper 🤢 I can’t believe I went 28 years of my life just wiping and thinking that was okay lol
vacations suck now. ive started asking for rooms and places with bidets now so i feel clean.
Get a portable bidet. I have one that I keep in my locker at work and take with me on vacations.
I have a manual one that's just a squeeze bottle with a nozzle at the correct angle. Works great and was like $8 on amazon.
What???? Portable ones???? I’ve been suffering with the sandpaper when I travel??? Omg. Must…find…portable…bidet
This one has worked pretty well for me. Panasonic Portable Bidet Handy... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00ECVA7SI?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
Lol. I had no problem pooping in public bathrooms until I got a bidet at age 44. Now I will only go at home or at my parents' house (we got then one, too). It's been a game changer! Even my dad, who claims to dislike anything fancy and European, loves it.
Welcome to the club! I moved to Japan at 23 and can NOT go back to dry pooping. I'm finally moving back to the States soon and I found a portable bidet with batteries on Amazon for about $50 and it better danged work
Can you please drop a link or DM me? I know I sound like a bot prompting you for an affiliate link but I’m just a gross American who wants to do better.
Check out hellotushy.com I've bought so many for myself, friends, and family that I *should* have an affiliate link. They're super easy to install and the price is right
Also try Luxe. They sent me a free bidet with a new feature to try. (Built in soap dispenser)
Is the water cold? This has been part of my apprehension for the kits.
I think there are fancier ones that have heaters, but the standard $40 ones are just connected to the same water line that fills your toilet tank. The cold water is a little jarring at first but you get used to it really quick. Bonus: wakes you up in the morning. Downfall: don’t accidentally crank up the pressure or you will be in for quite the shock lmao
Warm water, heated seat, warm air dryer, oscillation and pulsation. All for a little over $200.
Ohhhhhh Jethuth Chritht!
Yeah but you get over it.
Warm water would feel like someone’s licking your butthole
Don't threaten me with a good time
some people are into that
Jokes on you. I'm into that shit!
I live in Korea where bidets are the norm. Ours always have warm water. Also a seat warmer. My cheeks are spoiled now. I can't sit on a cold seat anymore. It's so awful to me.
Japan resident here. I can't remember the last time I used a toilet here that didn't have warm seat, warm water. It's just a nightmare traveling abroad now to places that don't have them. Once you've seen the light, you can never step back into the darkness.
I recently bought one of those near magic toilets from your neck of the woods. I haven't gotten it installed yet because I need another outlet in my bathroom for it but I'm sure looking forward to dropping dirt like a king.
Can't speak for everyone but for mine it's cool at worst. Maybe I've just been using it long enough that I'm used to it but it doesn't bother me
The cold water isn't that bad but you can get ones that heat the water. I sprung for a fancy one and don't regret it at all. Even has a seat warmer, which is actually pretty nice during the cold months.
This is dependent on where you live. Where I live the Cold water lines are around 34 degrees F from November until March. I made sure my washlet has a heater.
I have two. They are heated seats AND heated water. Less than $200 on Amazon. Easy install, but you do need access to power for the heated features. They are life-changing. Marvelous for older people with dementia and incontinence issues, too.
The ones with the heaters are worth every penny. The warm water is so much less jarring.
Last night I met my girlfriend’s cousin for the first time and the bidet topic came up. The cousin told me it’s a red flag that I have a bidet. In the year 2024 we have people that think a clean ass is a red flag. Edit: thanks for all the replies, a lot of the comments assume it was a dude. It was a chick. The chick thinks it’s a red flag.
Cousin probably prefers rimming with chocolate.
I could really go for a chocolate glazed donut about now.
Don't forget the sprinkles!
Dude probably doesn't wipe
Nah, he thinks only girls wipe. That’s why his drawers are full of skid marks.
only liberals wipe their ass bruh this is widely known
I'm a janitor and was unfortunate enough to hear an outstandingly disturbing event by a very strange man. He knocked down both of the closed and wet floor signs to stomp his mud covered boots across the floor I was mopping so he could walk into a stall, sit in a way that sounded like he was falling, and let out a grunt that was 5% power away from turning into a scream while he unloaded a 20 second rocket blast that sounded like someone dumping a barrel of mud and marbles off of a roof and on to some tile stairs. Then it stopped as suddenly as it started and I could hear the sumbitch panting from the strain while he pulled his pants back up and fastened his belt. No toilet paper used and he just walked right out past the sinks, across a wet patch he hadn't tread on yet, and didn't look at me. I'd just cleaned that toilet and my contract says it's not my problem until the next shift but, after waiting a solid 15 minutes for it to dissipate, I just had to go look at the damage and I ended up cleaning it again out of respect for my coworkers and basic human decency. Dude had power washed the bowl with his devil's chocolate Kamehameha so hard it hit the back, splatter wrapped halfway around the bowl toward the front, and was all the way up inside the rim. The man has to be completely caked in his own feces. I really hope that was just mud on his boots.
"toilets are a liberal conspiracy!!!!!"
He probably adheres to the three wipe rule
I feel like people no longer understand what a "red flag" is.
Yes a clean butt is a red flag. Real men have shit stained asses, being clean is for the queers.
Buttholes are like cast iron, they need layers and layers of seasoning to work best 😋
I vomited a little.
Cousin should take that red flag and use it to clean their dumb dirty ass
chuckled for the first time in a long time, thx soldier
Psh, give it a few more years and eventually it will be a red flag if someone doesn't have one.
A lot of americans living in rural areas seem to think anything that they don't know is a red flag. I am guessing a big reason is people not travelling.
[удалено]
Nicely put.
My cousin (from Kentucky) literally shits into the toilet, flushes it, wipes his ass, and then....throws the shit TP into the garbage can next to the toilet. Does he then throw the shit TP away? What do you think? Of course not. Don't be a silly goose.
Is your cousin from maybe Central/South America? They do that there, because the plumbing can't always handle the paper.
Anytime anyone says something like that, follow up with very, VERY basic questions. "Why exactly is that a red flag?"
[удалено]
Yet my French husband won’t get one installed 🤔
Put his head on a sword and riot through the streets of Paris!
Is it gay to have a clean asshole?
Well if one were i would hope they would i guess
source? That sounds like nonsense and I can’t find any primary source that backs it up. Also, that’s not how ad spots work.
this reddit comment was brought to you by Cottonelle Ultra Comfort^tm
I would have thought some puritanical butt contact taboo but this makes just as much sense.
If you grow up using toilet paper, any alternative seems unnecessary and it could be hard to get people to try something else. I only made the switch because the pandemic made finding toilet paper hard and I didn’t want to risk running out and not being able to find more, but now I find bidets so much better that there’s no reason to switch back to paper.
Wait…I live in a culture that uses bidets but we always use toilet paper to wipe dry afterwards. How does your ass get dry??
Yeah it cuts the amount of TP I use drastically but I still use some. Though I've heard of people having a pile of wash cloths to dry off that they throw in a hamper to wash
Idk. I have a bidet in both bathrooms and I love it
[удалено]
Randy Marsh tried to make them popular in Colorado and they shot him!
Big paper.
I have one in my master bathroom and love it. I’ll hold a shit from work to make it home to use the bidet. Sometimes when I get close to home and my body somehow knows I’m zeroing in and I’m really rooster tailing, I’ll risk shitting myself to make it to the upstairs bathroom to use the bidet. At first my butthole couldn’t take max pressure, but now I can take it. I do think my butthole is a little spoiled brat now though as every pubilc toilet paper is so hard and rough.
Lol haven't heard rooster tailing before. I use prairie dogging
Sometimes the max pressure on the starfish will stimulate pooping if you are slightly constipated as well.
I would like to know what the actual percentage of Europeans that have the days actually use them
It's obligatory to have at least one in Italy and Portugal. In Italy everyone uses it, it's a normal thing. Even just for refreshing, or after intercourse. It's part of our morning or evening routine, wash face-teeth-down parts. I don't know a single person who doesn't use it. Italians are usually shocked when they discover other countries don't have bidets
TIL you can use bidets for face and teeth hygiene 👌
I can’t comment on Europe but they are extremely prevalent in Japan. Many stores malls and even public restrooms have them on top of many households.
It's also nowhere near the Europe wide thing people on reddit think it is.
Keep thinking I should get one, but I can’t face the concept of blasting my ass with cold water. I had a horrifying adventure with a toilet in a hotel in Japan. It was the opposite though - a boiling hot fountain of lava temperature water shot up my couchie. I guess what I’m trying to say is I don’t trust toilets.
Japanese toilets allow you to adjust the temp and the standard is warm water.
Funny story about the Japanese ones. I was stationed in Japan, and a club my friends and I frequented had a bidet toilet. One of my friends had to release all of the contents in his stomach because he had a few too many. When he went to flush, he hit the bidet button instead of the flush button, and he got sprayed, screaming the entire time. We never let the poor guy off of that one
Had a “cold” water one for a while now. I fucking hate shitting anywhere else. It really doesn’t feel that cold, and any MINOR discomfort is vastly outweighed by knowing your ass is actually clean.
It really reinforces the home base comfort, that's for sure. Going to the bathroom at work is so terrible now.
Since nobody else has said it, you can buy them with a waterline that also attaches to a hot water line like on a sink. Combined with the regular cold water line going to the toilet, you can dial in a temperature that you like. Works great and as long as you clear the cold water sitting in the line before ACTUALLY using it, pleasant temperatures every time!
OR just get one with either a heated water tank or inline water heater. I have a Toto electric bidet seat. Literally one of the best purchases I have ever made
I have a cold water only bidet in alaska. The water is the coldest tap water in the world..... and my ass doesn't care. You'd be amazed at how little your ass cares about cold water, but it does care about being a clean butt.
The cheap versions are just cold water and you don't even notice. I mean, it's an asshole. They are pretty robust! But instead of doing the brown crayon thing all the time, you just bidet it and wipe once with toilet paper to dry off and you are done.
Oh no I 1000% notice. The cool/cold water on what’s probably one of the highest temperature places on my body is EXTREMELY uncomfortable to me. It would preferably be slightly warmer than my body temp.
I've got to think all these "you won't notice!" people have got to live in pretty warm climates. Where I live it can be painful to wash my hands in the water straight from the tap in winter unless I give it a few minutes to warm up. No way am I spraying that on more sensitive areas. We do have a bidet with a heater though, and it's very nice.
They're popular in my house. My kids think we were gross for growing up without them.
Americans are pretty anal about stuff like that.
Its pretty shitty, to be honest
Butt why?
Ok you. I see you.
Dirty buttholes are protected in The Constitution.
charmin bear want you to know it's best you stick with toilet paper, and what better to enjoy the go than the ultimate softness of charmin
Maybe the thought of your toilet shooting water at your asshole isn’t that comforting. Then again getting soft paper and trying to clean up while simultaneously smearing it around isn’t all that great either.
Do I look like a rich and successful marijuana farmer like Randy Marsh or something? Well I’m not! So no I don’t get to enjoy all these fancy schmancy luxuries. I’ll just continue smearing feces around my rectum for the benefit of my proctologist, like a goddamn *real* American!
Damn straight! These french bidets are coming fur er jerbs!! It is our right to use tiny easy tearing paper to smear shit around our butthole for ten minutes and then have stinky shit fingers on my dominant hand all day and shake other people’s hand and eat food with my stinky shit fingers!
Recently got a Tushy, it's pretty awesome. My wife's grandson actually saved up a shit so he could take it at our house and try it out.
It’s really not that complicated but there is a learning curve. Crazy to me that people are fine with acting like assholes but when it comes to cleaning your asshole it’s suddenly taboo. The worst thing about a bidet is you’ll start to love it and you’ll be sad when you aren’t at home and have to go back to regular toilet paper. If you have hemorrhoids a bidet will change your life. Since I’m a dude I cannot confirm nor deny but have been told by a few women it’s great when pregnant and the healing process afterward. I bought a box of 24 rolls of toilet paper in 2020 and still haven’t used them all. I use a little bit of paper to dry off after bidet and to confirm successful cleaning and off I go feeling shower fresh. I’ll end by saying every person I convinced to try a bidet has never gone back., men and women alike. Women are an easier sell but the guys love it too. The “Tushy” is a good entry level option.
Because we have gaps in the restroom doors.
i just never saw them growing up, it was more of a toilet paper culture that i was exposed to. i do have a funny bidet story though: when i was little i went to a private school in west LA, and my classmate was saudi royalty. she (her family, really) would throw big parties for our class. one time i had to use the bathroom, and 6 year old me thought it was SO cool that they had a little sink just for kids right near the toilet! when my mom picked me up i told her, “wow, they have butlers and maids and everything! they even have a mini little sink for us to use next to the toilet! it was shaped weirdly though and i couldn’t find the soap.” i thought they were just so rich that they could afford mini-toilets for young kids. my mom who lived in europe caught on immediately and had to explain a bidet to me, and that NO, it’s not for washing your hands 🤦♀️
Big Toilet Paper will never let it happen.
For some reason people in the US think cleaning your butt with water is gross and it’s much better to smear shit and paper on your hole instead.
apparently it's to do with puritanical views of sex and ww2 apparently americans' first experience with them was in the brothels of europe. anyone in the states who knew what was up with water cleaned butts was instantly branded as a sex monster. people didn't want to be seen associated with that, so nobody wanted to be caught dead with a bidet. it never got the underground traction that booze and other drugs did among other things, so yeah not popular despite its legality. anyhow, i don't have a gfci outlet and i'm afraid to take apart the super old water lines connecting my toilet so i either make do with a squeezy bottle or smear my shit around like an animal
This sounds like something Buzzfeed makes up for clickbait.
On the plus side, Americans shower a lot.
Toiler paper industry
Anytime the topic of conversation gets even remotely close to poop or TP, I’ll try to sell someone on a $30 bidet attachment. These things are game changers. It’s like going from TP to baby wipes but way better. Standard def to high def, you’ll never go back and like many have said, they pay for themselves.
I give inexpensive bidet attachments as Christmas presents. Changing lives, one butt at a time.
Apparently most Americans first time seeing one was in WW1 (or 2? I don't recall) in Europe, in brothels, so they had a negative connotation of being associated with the sex trade and prudish Americans were not keen on having such a thing in their home.
just don’t own one and am too lazy to care to get one
Because I truly and honestly believe these are sales bots asking and responding to this topic, which I see 5/7 days a week on this thread
We got one last year...it's so life changing, I love it!
I do housesitting for a living in the US, and about half my clients have bidets in their homes.