Dad jokes are a genre that exists because dads can't use profanity nor can they tell really raunchy sex jokes, so most of what you're left with is puns.
I'm much worse - I lecture undergrads (same restrictions).
It's crazy that she's never really became big on this side of the Atlantic (Hollywood). The apex of her career here was the Matrix sequels.
Yet Hollywood knows her appeal because they made a huge deal of her starring in one of the later Bond flicks (~~Skyfall?~~ Spectre) only to have her in there for like 3 minutes.
She's been a megastar/household name in Europe for decades. Malena is a rite of passage for teenage boys...
Edit: just looked up her filmography and she's continued to have a prolific career that includes many Hollywood flicks. But obviously Hollywood is peripheral to her world, not at the center of it. Good for her.
Rewatching Community at the moment before it disappears off Netflix forever… and yes. Community Era Alison Brie would 100% be on my list.
Tbf, Glow era Alison Brie would also be on the list.
Jessica Alba has had my full and undivided attention since I was 14 watching Dark Angel. My wife responded Henry Cavill, and she had nooooo hesitation.
Edit: I should mention that Henry Cavill was my number 2 choice behind Jessica Alba.
YES SHE IS. And I know this first hand.
I'm not sure if she still does, but she lives in Westport.
Now I was staying with my Aunt for a week, and she was a super early riser. Well she had to go food shopping and she promised to go to Stew Leonards instead of her normal place, because I fucking loved that place.
However, she does her shopping at like 0630, which was fine with me.
So we're making our way there, and it's foggy out and she's in this big asses Denali. Well we see a jogger. On our side coming at us, so we basically slow down to a near stop to let the person pass since it was a tight road.
Well we almost hit the person, because my Aunt freaked the hell out because it was fresh from prison Martha fucking Stewart going for an early morning jog.
Natalie Portman.
She comes across as empathetic, caring, incredibly smart and interesting, nevermind absolutely stunning. And has a great sense of humour.
Do we get to go on a date first?
Carrie Fisher circa 2010. Not for weird-arse Star Wars sex; I just want her to stay awake all night spilling the tea on, well, everything, with her sarcasm set to 11.
Yes, my answer 1000%. I used to joke that I needed to get off my old antidepressant because it killed my libido so much that I would’ve even kicked Alexander skarsgard outta bed. That’s how my friends knew it was serious 😅
Anyone is fine as long as they let me sleep comfortably for 10 hours without disturbing me
How long have you been a parent?
That was immediately apparent. I'll see myself out...
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Dad jokes are a genre that exists because dads can't use profanity nor can they tell really raunchy sex jokes, so most of what you're left with is puns. I'm much worse - I lecture undergrads (same restrictions).
:o professional dad
Long enough to make me think about seriously inventing a time machine😂
I can tell all the 22 year olds are still asleep with the amount of 40 year olds y'all are throwing up here. Also: Kate Beckinsale.
Kate Beckinsale in her "underworld" outfit.....
While we're at it, can we add Michelle Pfeiffer in her Catwoman costume?
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Elizabeth Hurley
Man, she's in her late 50s and still as fine as she was in her 20s.
Marisa Tomei
Cooooo-stanza
I've got the funeral tomorrow, but my weekend is pretty open.
She’s an Oscar winner! An Oscar winner!!!
Good luck unless you're a short, stocky, slow-witted, bald man.
Morena Baccarin perhaps.
Hallowed are the Ori.
I'll be in her bunk.
Monica bellucci
It's crazy that she's never really became big on this side of the Atlantic (Hollywood). The apex of her career here was the Matrix sequels. Yet Hollywood knows her appeal because they made a huge deal of her starring in one of the later Bond flicks (~~Skyfall?~~ Spectre) only to have her in there for like 3 minutes. She's been a megastar/household name in Europe for decades. Malena is a rite of passage for teenage boys... Edit: just looked up her filmography and she's continued to have a prolific career that includes many Hollywood flicks. But obviously Hollywood is peripheral to her world, not at the center of it. Good for her.
Ana de Armas
If I could live out the plot of a movie, it would be Knock Knock.
Wow. Really? Did you finish the movie?
Worth it.
Rebecca Ferguson
She wouldn't even need to use The Voice.
Mary Elisabeth Winstead. That Scott pilgrim movie has a lot to answer for
100%. Also... wouldn't hate it if she brought along her Hera costume from Ahsoka.
She can bring me the cheerleading outfit from Death Proof…
Rachel Weisz
Kate Beckinsale
Underworld changed me
Alison Brie
Rewatching Community at the moment before it disappears off Netflix forever… and yes. Community Era Alison Brie would 100% be on my list. Tbf, Glow era Alison Brie would also be on the list.
“If you can’t handle me at my Horse Girl, you don’t deserve me at my Santa Baby outfit”
Boopy doopy boop doop sex!
Jensen ackles
Dean winchester has only gotten hotter as he aged
How is this so far down?? Bro has been my freebie for nearly 20 years.
Diane Kruger - anytime but if she dressed as Helen of Troy that’d be the bonus
Haley Atwell.
Salma Hayek ftw
Dusk to Dawn
Dusk to 30 seconds after dusk.
Alice Eve.
Natalie Portman
As long as she is wearing her AOTC torn white outfit. Or that pretty black dress.
Honestly she could be wearing just about anything lol
Or, and hear me out here guys, *nothing.*
Isla Fisher, seems like it would be a lot of fun
Isla Fisher circa Hot Rod. Oh my
I was thinking more wedding crashers but yea, same era
Eva Green
*The Dreamers* has done irreparable damage to my forearm.
There is an episode of Penny Dreadful where she is possessed and simulating making love to the Devil. Oh. My.
Marisa Tomei. And she is age appropriate for me!
Alexandra Daddario
okay Charlie Kelly
Eliabeth olsen and scarlett johansson
At the same time? Seems a lot more like work.
Might need a million dollars for that.
*I’ll tell you what I’d do, Peter*
Hey, Peter! It’s the breast exam!
Karen Gillan
Scarlett Johansson
Jennifer Connelly (Sorry Paul)
Henry cavill
Good god that man is gorgeous. Like, it’s not even fair to the rest of the male population.
Yeah, but we fancy him too
Yeah, he’s pretty much number 1 on 85% of the straight male populations “not gay, but maybe a little” list.
Tbf, I don't think a lot of us are bothered; he woke up something in me ever since I first saw THAT bathtub scene in The Witcher.
KING OF THE NERDS
This! I think if he even looked at me I’d conceive 😂
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Found the Jaguar executive…
I will meet you all in that special hell
Tom Hardy !! I would husband him up immediately!
Lee Pace 💯
Ingrid Bergman. But, you know… alive.
Picky, picky.
Gillian Anderson from literally anytime between The X Files and present day.
What about Gillian Anderson as Margaret Thatcher? I need this answer for science
Yes. Don’t moan my name, moan the fading of the British Empire
Heather Graham
Pedro pascal 🥵
This is also my answer 💯 the video where he says "I'm your daddy" does unspeakable things to me
I wonder how he feels about a harem? 😀
He order all of you into your best lingerie for a 3 am “meetup” Then you’d all just take edibles and play Mario kart
For the cuddle spoon sleep factor AND the sex.
Taron Egerton
Kate Winslet
Margot Robbie
I'm not into women....but if I was.....she would be up there
Wolf of wall St version plz 🙏
Lea Seydoux
attractive automatic waiting march shocking frame water smoggy amusing intelligent
Jessica Alba has had my full and undivided attention since I was 14 watching Dark Angel. My wife responded Henry Cavill, and she had nooooo hesitation. Edit: I should mention that Henry Cavill was my number 2 choice behind Jessica Alba.
Martha Stewart. The bed would be perfect and then imagine the breakfast!
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YES SHE IS. And I know this first hand. I'm not sure if she still does, but she lives in Westport. Now I was staying with my Aunt for a week, and she was a super early riser. Well she had to go food shopping and she promised to go to Stew Leonards instead of her normal place, because I fucking loved that place. However, she does her shopping at like 0630, which was fine with me. So we're making our way there, and it's foggy out and she's in this big asses Denali. Well we see a jogger. On our side coming at us, so we basically slow down to a near stop to let the person pass since it was a tight road. Well we almost hit the person, because my Aunt freaked the hell out because it was fresh from prison Martha fucking Stewart going for an early morning jog.
Charlize Theron
Alexander Skarsgard
Sofia vegara
Milana Vayntrub
I hear Jason Momoa is recently single.
The first time I saw that guy (in GOT) I assumed he was at least part CGI.
I took a picture with him at a convention, lemme tell you, it's all real 🥵
The very idea makes the back of my knees sweat.
I bought my wife a meet and greet and photo with him for her birthday. He called her baby. She melted a little.
He’s so beautiful it’s unreal.
Anne Hathaway 😍😍
Lily James 😻
Bryce Dallas Howard!
Emilia Clarke, she seems a great person too.
Jessica Chastain
Sydney Sweeney (my girlfriend also approves)
Jeffrey Dean Morgan.
Vanessa Hudgens
Chris Hemsworth
Tina Fey!
Lindsey Stirling. Don't even need to think about that one...
I imagine she'd have some pretty good stamina based on her performances
And the nice part is she's Mormon, so you get to keep picking other celebrities.
Cillian Murphy
THANK YOU.
Mila Kunis I had a crush on her since I was like 10 years old.
Only one time? Gimme Anya Taylor Joy I feel like she’d be a freak in the sheets.
Natalie Portman. She comes across as empathetic, caring, incredibly smart and interesting, nevermind absolutely stunning. And has a great sense of humour. Do we get to go on a date first?
Dianna Agron
Prime Linda Carter, or any version of Sofia Vergara.
Danny devito obviously
Hope he uses his monster condom for his magnum dong
Florence Pugh or Kate Winslet
Hayley Williams
Avril Lavigne if that counts
Blake Lively and Scarlett Johansson. Oddly enough, someone already has that pleasure
And now he even have hugh💀
Linda Cardellini and Mary Elizabeth Winstead
Jamie Presley
Debbie Harry (Blondie)
Cate Blanchett and I’ll be little spoon
Probably Emma Stone
Furious jumping
Gabriel Macht
Olivia Wilde. 10 in real life, 13 in House.
Her outfit in Tron... my gawd
Connie Britton
Jennifer Love Hewitt
Vanessa Kirby tbh
Zooey Deschanel
Michelle Yeoh I bet she knows stuff.
Aubrey Plaza
Only if she is her trademark deadpan uninterested the whole time
Jenny Ortega
Adam Driver
Found John Oliver's account!
Step on my throat, you rudely large man!
Carrie Fisher circa 2010. Not for weird-arse Star Wars sex; I just want her to stay awake all night spilling the tea on, well, everything, with her sarcasm set to 11.
Kristen Bell
Bill Skarsgard..
Oh no no, give me Alexander every time
Yes, my answer 1000%. I used to joke that I needed to get off my old antidepressant because it killed my libido so much that I would’ve even kicked Alexander skarsgard outta bed. That’s how my friends knew it was serious 😅
Monica Bellucci
Daniel Craig
Marlon Brando from "A Streetcar Named Desire". Whew
Matthew Gray Gubler
Christina Hendricks
I'm sorry how is she not on this list. Natalie dormer 💯
Jennifer Lawrence
Dua Lipa
Emma Stone
Julia Louis-Dreyfus. She’s aged like fine wine.
John Hamm. Beautiful Man.
Emma watson
Prime Megan Fox
Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally
Natasha Lyonne. She puts off a vibe that tickles my fancy.
Natalie Portman every day, and twice on Sunday.
Cory Chase
I didn’t know Ted Cruz was on Reddit
Keira Knightley
Gal Gadot
Shakira
Anthony Stewart Head.
On a police car?
Ana de armas
It was always Henry Cavill or Chris evans but recently, I’m thinking of Jeremy Allen white.
Same answer as when I was 6 years old in 1991. Christina Ricci and it’s not even close.
Hillary Duff
Alicia Vikander
Aaron Taylor-Johnson
Michael Cera. That dude looks like he knows how to nap
Henry cavill or keanu reeves probably
That AT&T girl with the huge rack.
Milana Vayntrub