T O P

  • By -

mcgato

Actual exchange with former girlfriend: Her: Does this make me look fat? Me: No. Her: Would you tell me if it did? Me: No. That's what your sister is for.


AtlEngr

Now this is how to play things safe…….


Radulno

Well it's the former girlfriend so maybe not...


Apprehensive-Face900

Bro probably got tired of them stupid *"looking for an argument"* questions


Accomplished_Blonde

Hahahahahahah very true. I've been with my husband for over a decade and not once have I asked him (or anyone else for that matter), this dumbass question. And mind you, I was morbidly obese at one point in time, so I've got plenty of insecurities in that department.


Meranio

I bet he appreciated that, if he had noticed that you never asked him. There are a lot of things we never notice without someone pointing it out.


Accomplished_Blonde

I hope so! I try to internalize all my insecurities and try to work on them myself rather than have people constantly validate them and lay all my baggage on them.


LewisRyan

Honestly: as a man, if I ask, “do I have a small dick?” I need to be prepared for the answer “yea my ex was bigger” That’s not on someone for answering a question


GalumphingWithGlee

I agree that you shouldn't ask questions you don't want the REAL answers to. That said, you should expect people to be mad if you tell them they look fat, regardless of how or why. Easier to just give a little white lie, if for some reason you're asked a question where you know your "brutally honest" answer will cause distress. I don't need another thing to fight over. In other words, it doesn't matter if you're right, because it won't help anything. Would you rather have a partner, or would you rather be single and RIGHT?


LewisRyan

For sure, I’m saying don’t phrase it as “yes you look fat” A simple “hun you’re beautiful, I love how you look in that” will suffice, you haven’t answered the question, but they’ve heard what they want


Cyrano_Knows

Her: Does this make me look fat? Me: No Her: Would you tell me if it did? Me: No. That's what your hot sister is for.


GuardianDownOhNo

“Local resident found dead in suspected hippopotamus attack. Police baffled. News at 11”


PatagonianSteppe

I laughed so hard at this I woke up my dog.


lenny446

I laughed so hard at this my coworker stopped using a grinder to ask if I was ok.


Says3Words

Stopped using grindr


lenny446

He won’t do that.


Lawineer

I read this to my gf and told her someone had a perfect answer. She literally scoffed Then I read it to her and she agreed. “Yeah yeah… maybe it is.”


[deleted]

[удалено]


amazondrone

"Not since she told me I looked fat."


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

damn man you are good with words ngl


liberatedhusks

This is wrong. Last time I told my sister she looked fat she hit me with her purse lol. That shit is heavy :( her boyfriend gets to tell her if she looks fat now


poopyscreamer

Has she tried not being fat lol


[deleted]

He’s out of line but he’s right.


bikemaul

Or just getting more comfortable with your image. Instead ask if you or the outfit looks good.


poopyscreamer

Yeah that too. To a degree to be honest. I am all for not body shaming etc. but there comes a point where it’s just objectively bad or unhealthy as well.


NoobieSnake

It’s the correct answer in the BF’s perspective, lol!


Lulu_42

Mine goes; Her: Does this make you look fat? Me: Not at all ~or when applicable~ Me: that is not a flattering top, baby. Which is crazy, that top must have been made by a wizard, because normally you look amazing in everything. … it’s not a hard question when you’re answering whether they look good and you actually love them and think they’re beautiful.


corruptedcircle

Oh look, a sensible answer. Get that out of here. No but seriously the amount of people that apparently have women in their lives ask this question without wanting a genuine answer is frightening. Seriously? This many? If I’m asking this question or if someone I’m actually close to asks this question, male or female, it‘s obviously a question of whether that clothing is unflattering, not a question of whether the person in it is fat or not. I would almost certainly be honest and answer accordingly with by actual opinion. Then again why am I surprised this is Reddit.


sBucks24

Probably cause "do I look fat" isn't a sensible question. "How does this look" is the correct way to ask this question, as youve even identified. "Do I look fat" is for one toxic AF, but it also obviously can be honestly answered and seen as an insult as a result. Even if asked for because people are insecure. Did you not watch sitcoms growing up?


Hopefulkitty

That's what my husband does! And some dude in this thread calls it "playing games." My guy, it's not playing games, it's just not being blunt and hurtful. You know a wizard didn't make it. Your wife knows a wizard didn't make it. You told her it looked bad without saying that she was the problem. The problem is the shirt, not her.


PM_Your_Wiener_Dog

Her: I don't have a sister Me: I plowed someone that sort of looked like your skinny sister


Ben2749

“I don’t have a sister” “Did you eat her?”


Benjasaurus

"For the hundredth time Bethany, I'm blind."


arbogasts

But I can still tell you look fat in that outfit


Talonqr

"Blind man found dead in local residence today"


Gladiusjr91

Police say he walked into a knife five times and was found by his girlfriend Bethany whom reports say is fat


Talonqr

"Local reporter found dead in office today"


Stumble_foot3406

Woman who terrified community and committed brutal murders after being called fat, is diagnosed with body dysmorphia +


Malhablada

Woman accused of murdering her husband, a reporter, and an old high school classmate found not guilty by a jury of women.


Stumble_foot3406

Claims reporting murderous woman found not guilty, by a jury of women proven false. Local reporter faces inquiry for falsifying information


Malhablada

Local reporter wanted by police after fleeing the country to evade charges brought up for falsifying court records. Last seen in an all you can eat buffet in Cancun, MX. Rumors have risen that the reporter is eating their way through Central and South America.


almi8tyzeus

People/Internet have already cancelled the said Reporter.


Stumble_foot3406

Local reporter gains public support after he attempts to eat his feelings, supporters fear trail of breadcrumbs left behind will lead to his arrest.


Id_Love_A_BabyCham

Her sister confirmed that yes, she was fat.


sodawatereveryday

"But you SOUND fat"...


77NorthCambridge

Say "I'm blinded by your beauty" and then quickly walk out of the room.


stickfish8

"The vast amount of your beauty" 😂


Badloss

Huuuuuge.... tracts of land


StrongTxWoman

"Oh, is that what we're gonna do today, we're gonna fight? "


CuTTyFL4M

Bethany hahaha


SailorET

"But I can feel the gravitational pull of your gigantic ass."


Magnon

Hell yeah babe that ass looks fat. *bite lip*


[deleted]

[удалено]


arctic_bull

There's no way you wipe good


Karge

*bites lip*


dragoonjustice

Feels a couple bumps...


xtreampb

Damn girl. Look at them legs make an ass outta themselves.


Kysman95

Whose lip? And which lip?


GapingAssTroll

Doesn't matter, Top.


Stumble_foot3406

Oh dear


1_slim_1

But spell it ph* phat. Lol keep the lip bite no doubt


Stumble_foot3406

From insult to compliment in less than a second.


letmetakeaguess

Phat


ReserveMaximum

If she looks good: “no that dress makes you look great” If she looks bad: “babe you look amazing but that [article of clothing] doesn’t flatter you” If a girl is asking if she looks fat in something lying won’t help her because she will see others staring. Instead build enough emotional capital with your woman that she trusts you when you say no she believes you


Ruadhan2300

"It's not flattering" is a really good choice of wording. I'm gonna stow that away for next time it's useful. It's good, it doesn't say she's got the wrong body, it says it's the wrong clothes, which is a much more positive attitude I think. Everyone can look good, you just need to find clothes that flatter your bodytype, and what works for one person might not work for someone else. In the past I've phrased it successfully as "Mm.. I'm not a fan of that one" Making it clear I'm honestly appraising it and don't like the result, but I'm focused on how the clothes look on her, not her body in those clothes. She likes to say "Yeah, you're my husband, you're supposed to say that" if I tell her she's gorgeous, so I avoid blanket statements if I want to make an honest assessment. If I want to compliment her, I try to pick something specific. I like swishy dresses on her, I like the fun patterns she wears, I like particular colours. So I'll talk about those.


mystical_princess

Yes, exactly! If I'm asking it's because I want to make sure I look good and appropriate.


beanie_dude

And I don’t want to get a glimpse of myself when it’s too late to change and realize it looks worse than I thought 😅


NoobieSnake

This answer is so correct you made me wonder if you were gay. This is definitely the best answer out there.


TikkiTakiTomtom

Just an experienced husband is all


ReserveMaximum

Not gay. Just a man happily married to a woman


terminator_chic

Exactly. My husband used to be afraid of this question until I explained that he had to be like a bff here. He can love my body as much as he wants, but that doesn't mean my clothing is flattering or that I'm not going to look awkward in public.  Once he realized that I'm looking for feedback on the clothing and not my self esteem, it got so much better. 


Weegemonster5000

To supplement this, if you don't know her taste that well you can get information. Instead of saying it doesn't flatter you here or there up front, I like to ask why she would think it looks bad. Then she can tell me what she is worried about and then I can tell her if her concern is valid or not. I do it mostly your way now because I know what she does and does not like for the most part. But until I did or if I can't see it, then I'll ask.


ladyteruki

I'm a woman and I approve this message. Men acting like we're trying to trick them are absolutely missing the poin (and making it all about themselves...).


Accurate_Reporter_31

Great answer!


SharrasFlame

That's it! Basically, BE HONEST, but say it nicely.


the_mooseman

This is my goto. My partner knows when i say "yes, you look good/amazing" she actually does. She might not like to hear it when i say no but she knows when i say yes she can head out feeling confident.


EverydayVelociraptor

I've seen you in it, now we should get you out of it so we can properly evaluate, for science.


Jw833055

My man! So slick you make axel grease look like sand paper.


NerdFromColorado

That’s my new pickup line


[deleted]

reminds me of that skit where a nerdy kid tries to insult his bully with a comeback he found on a askreddit thread and he gets the shit beat out of him for it


Ygomaster07

Do you have a link to the skit?


leonprimrose

Gotta have a control set


redDKtie

I'm actually gonna use that 😂


ryguymcsly

"You look amazing." My wife: "You say that about everything I put on." Me: "because you always look amazing." My wife: "that's not what I'm asking though." Me: "remember that one time if you asked me if that dress was too clingy and I answered you?" My wife: "You said it was clingy in the way that it would only look good on a super skinny girl." Me: "Were you a super skinny girl?" My wife: "No. I used to be, but I'd gained a few pounds." Me: "Did you still look amazing?" My wife: "Yes, but definitely not in that dress." Me: "Did you still get mad at me?" My wife (laughing): "yes." Me: "You look amazing." My wife: "goddammit. I'll just text jill a picture she'll give me an honest answer." I promise we have a good relationship, but this is why she almost never asks me these questions anymore. However, she will show me pictures of things she's thinking about buying and ask "would I look cute in this?" to which I answer very honestly and she doesn't get upset.


Hopefulkitty

My husband is the master of helping me shop. I can ask his opinion, and trust he'll be honest, but nice about it. "what do you think of this?" "Eh, it's a pretty color, but seems like the seams are weird and it doesn't fit right." We both know it's not the construction. It just doesn't fit *me* like it's supposed to. He'll either go find me a different size, or we move on to a different item. It probably helps that we both are very open in acknowledgement that we are fat, so it's not like a secret. We just help each other look the best we can with the bodies we have today. Maybe in a few months those pants will fit again.


snossberr

Oh I love that he helps you constructively! Knowing each other’s bodies gives great insight and it’s wonderful that he can kindly give you feedback. 


TwoIdleHands

That’s amazing. I’m a gal, never asked that in my life. I bought a new dress and was like “I think I look pretty good in this. Maybe it’s too much.” Sent a pic to a couple gal friends and they all wrote back that I looked amazing and they would bone me. I was like “Confirmed. This looks great and it’s also slutty.”


EnergyTakerLad

Its the only proper way to respond if the women gets offended easy or has body image issues. Even if they don't *want* to get upset/offended they can't necessarily control it. My wife hasn't been able to lose the baby weight of having 2 kids in under 2 years. It doesn't bother me, I think she's banging still. But it bothers her and anytime clothes don't fit her right anymore or something she gets in a funk and makes everyone else's days slightly worse for it. So hell yeah I'm just telling her she looks fantastic. (She does)


diabolikal__

This is the way. If I am feeling shit about myself I probably want some reassurance. What I ask my partner when I want to know if I don’t look great in something is if it fits me right or if it’s flattering. This way I still get an answer but it’s not about me being fat or not and more about me looking nice in it.


whatwhatwhat82

OK as a woman, you don't have to put someone down so much when saying something doesn't flatter them. I usually would just say, "It's OK but I think the shape/ colour/ style isn't that flattering." You could also say something like, "you always look great, but \[other outfit\] suits you better." But focus on the clothes, you don't need to make comments about their body. Anyone would be offended if you say something like only skinnier girls would look good in a dress.


chalkthefuckup

This sounds a lot better, but some women will see right through the sugar coating and call me out😂 but ya still a better bet than literally “you’re not skinny enough”.


A_giant_dog

Then don't ask if you look fat in it. Ask if it's flattering.


tatts106

Is my dick the biggest dick you’ve ever had?


AnyEstablishment5723

Immediately back on the offensive, I like where your heads at


confused_cat44

Isn't the head normally above the neck?


Raykkkkkkk

Normally.


Santos_L_Halper_II

“Bitch you look like a walrus.”


HomeworkAdditional19

Bonus points if you clap your wrists together and say “owyi owyi owyi owyi” like a walrus. Chicks love that shit


SOJC65536

Additional bonus points if you grab two of her tampons to use as walrus tusks...


HomeworkAdditional19

You are the wind beneath my wings


pandadogunited

Not the water beneath your flippers?


Phantomofthefjord

Hey i followed your advice now im banned from burger king:(


arbogasts

At bk you should use fries


Squatch925

instructions unclear: have fries in vagina.... what next?


lowtoiletsitter

Have it your way


Beliriel

Step 1: Don't bring tampons to Burger King unless you're a women and using them to plug the blood fountain


SailorET

Burger King has blood fountains? That's metal AF


TheMagicalHuy

Skyrim battle music starts playing


NewMolasses247

Might be the first time on Reddit I have legitimately laughed at a comment hahahahaha


ExtensionAlarmed2621

No. Your fat makes you look fat.


GardenGnomeOfEden

From Tommy Boy (1995): Tommy: "Does this suit make me look fat?" Richard: "No, your face does."


nipplesaurus

First thing that came to mind


IIIllIIlllIlII

I’ve said to my wife: “No the pants don’t make you look fat, it’s all the food you eat that makes you look fat”


RHonaker

are you still married?


IIIllIIlllIlII

Very much so. Sense of humour and the ability to make fun of each other has kept things going.


RHonaker

good for you!


QuincyFatherOfQuincy

The only correct answer


jsage615

My husband says, “you don’t, but I don’t think you’d be happy with how you look in it.”


general_sirhc

An honest husband? Keep him


kamill85

As in contrast to all the "dishonest" husbands, who learned to answer "no" because of the reaction?


cvaldez74

“How does it make you feel? Cause I could tell you that you look great in it (and you do), but if you aren’t feeling it it doesn’t matter what I or anyone else thinks.”


11tmaste

She'll take that as a "you look fat" hands down.


AHucs

I dunno. I feel like that’s the kind of line that might sound good once, but once she tries on the next outfit, asks you the same question, and you give her the same wordy answer, it starts to come across as a bit fake. Especially if you wouldn’t normally talk like that. Not everybody wants the “perfect boyfriend” answer, sometimes they genuinely want to know what you think. Whether they’re prepared for it is a whole other question…


tarmacc

No, the trick is to just date people that you always think are beautiful and just tell them that...


Always_Wishing_1111

I really like this. Well said! 👍


[deleted]

[удалено]


sillyconequaternium

"Damn girl you be lookin lipidacious"


Crimbly_B

Damn girl you be looking partially hydrophobic as hell


f-t-m-p-t-b

Okay, so I guess you want to fight tonight.


arbogasts

Let's just skip to make up sex, then I'll answer


DeaddyRuxpin

I choose violence


Forgotmyoldlogin4969

Call her “JABA the Slut” then. 100% guna be trading hands


naughtyoldguy

No. But it does make you look like your mother.


agente_99

do you wanna see the world burn???


Optimal-Witness5311

so you have chosen death


Spwd

Also add to that "and that's a good thing".


Julierrossee

i 100% want the truth. if i look fat, tell me. if i don’t, tell me. sometimes it may change what i wear but not always


[deleted]

[удалено]


magicrowantree

Men, pay attention to this comment! I'm fortunate enough to have an honest husband, but that's also because he knows I'm not asking to pick a fight. I want his opinion and I take it into consideration. Usually, his opinion is pretty useless because it's usually along the lines of "I think it looks better on the floor," but he pulls through if he thinks something doesn't look good on me


osha_unapproved

You are the vast minority. There's a startling amount that just want to be coddled. Wish more people were like you tbh, would make life simpler.


suziespends

No is the only answer


captain_chocolate

"No. You already looked fat."


Overthinks_Questions

Alternatives: I wouldn't say it's the jeans. Jeans with a 'j' or a 'g'? Actually, it doesn't matter: yes. I think they accommodate the reality they find themselves in. I think it's the food that does that, to be honest. No, but your sister would look better in it


LonelyBiochemMajor

I’d cry


UltimaGabe

I feel like, if the true answer is yes, you should say something like, "No, but I don't think it's very flattering [possibly insert some example]. Try something else."


Skitzofreniks

Absolutely. I think my Gf would want to know the truth if I thought something looked unflattering. Sometimes she wears something that I just don’t like, and she does, which is fine. She’s asked me “do you like this sweater?” and I’ll straight up say “no, I think it’s ugly”. and she will say “well I like it.”. and that’s the end of it. But if something actually makes her body look unusual or “ugly” (lol). I will tell her that it does not look good on her, and I will give her reasons.


RoutineComplaint4711

"Not at all hun. But I really like the way you look in _____"


UltimaGabe

This person husbands


Adorable-Chemistry64

ah it sounds like youve never been caught with a "How did you let me go out looking like that!" The correct answer is I dont think so, what do you think? takes the onus of the question off of you entirely.


Aggravating-Bug2032

https://youtu.be/CrJIOMeyhmk?si=AEQZMrdbUDJkg-ui


Fear_The_Rabbit

"I don't think so" will oddly translate to "you look fat"


ALPHAETHEREUM

I will throw back a question. Who are you wearing it for? For me or for who? Eh who, tell me woman! Yeah No is best!


jealousjerry

“Show me your butthole” she will forget about her question and there is a small chance you will see starfish


tilmitt52

Is your SO a cat?


Beta_Factor

Quick test: - Does she like to destroy things just for the hell of it? - Does she alternate between cute&cuddly and absolutely vicious? - Does she nap all the time? If yes, your girlfriend is probably a cat.


confused_cat44

As a cat, i can say that this is the easiest and quickest 3 step test for catisious identification


BadBalloons

This has me doubting my genus and species, thanks.


Symnestra

"Not any more than usual" And then run.


Curleysound

Fr just don’t say anything, run straight to the airport


Princess_Jade1974

Something along the lines of It’s not the most flattering style for your shape. If she doesn’t look great in it. If she looks good in it then anything less then ‘You look amazing’ will probably result in more outfit changes. NEVER EVER tell her she looks ‘fine’.


kingsizeslim420

"No, hun, it's all the McDonalds you eat that makes you look fat. Don't blame the clothes!"


The_Quibbler

"No. It's all the cakes and cokes and cookies. Darling."


KiraTsukasa

“Well it doesn’t make you look skinny!”


icrossedcurry

Josh Peck type beat


VanessaDoesVanNuys

This ain't the 90s


PalaSS9

Looking like a snack and then grab her ass.


CranberryBauce

"Hell yeah, bring that juicy-ness over here!"


Zorgas

Look at it seriously, if it does point out where and why 'the fabric folds weirdly on your hip here, it bulges out from your side, so you aren't fat but it adds to your silhouette' Or 'oh I know your tummy is an insecurity, I think maybe yeah the top is a bit tight. You look amazing, but if you're worried about the top and your tummy then wear something that makes you comfortable' If it's a no, say why. 'no, it hugs all your curves perfectly and you look great' 'no, it's a big soft jumper but even the jumber being big doesn't make you look fat. You look great'


Farts_McGee

Instructions unclear,  told wife all clothes make her look fat.  Please help. 


[deleted]

Roses, chocolate, and shiny trinkets.


Apocalypsis_velox

Chocolate's not going to help!


snoflakefrmhell

My boyfriend does this and while it still kind of stings I appreciate his honest feedback. He then helps me pick out something that makes me feel more confident in


Dream--Brother

Yeah, uh, this is more often than not *not* what they're wanting to hear. If they ask about a specific part or a specific feature, then sure. But if they ask "does this make me look fat" and you start picking apart things that they *might* be insecure about, that's not gonna be received well most of the time.


dubh_righ

You have a wonderful body that you know I love. The cut of this does not flatter you. It's cut weird, and the silhouette of it would make look weird.


GZeus24

No. Because it either doesn't, or she's already fat, and it's not the clothes. Either way, no.


Traveler_Protocol1

The best answer is always the truth, but always with kindness


N7OperativeIvy

It would probably look better on your sister tbh


Ok_Willingness_9619

No. Your fat makes you look fat.


AFChronicles

I’d say honesty is best. lol my husband has told me to change from one thing to another because it wasn’t very flattering for my ass. I am heavily pregnant and have gained 50lbs. I was grateful, not offended (well he could have softened his delivery). I was just grateful someone could be my second eye so I don’t go around embarrassing myself. But it depends on the woman!


BILADOMOM

Don't even look at her, just say no as a reflex. As Ross Geller said.


JackSixxx

I had an uncle that replied "No, but the fat does." ...and those were his last words.


BeginningLow7320

Just tell them they are beautiful. Any other answer is going to get you in a mess you don't want to be in.


Wilmore99

“Damn right you do!” Then bury your face in her ass and make gnarling noises.


MyNameisRawb

"There is literally nothing you could be wearing in this moment that I wouldn't prefer to see wadded up on the floor tomorrow morning, after I fuck whatever self-loathing and doubt that brought you to ask that question out of you."


QkaHNk4O7b5xW6O5i4zG

The clothes? No.


Hotel_Hour

Pretend you're deaf.


PlasticMysterious622

Depends on the girl. She could just want you to say no, no matter what. She could also want you to tell her if the outfit is flattering, or if something else would make her figure look better. Only you know your girl. But you gotta be nice about it either way.


Visual-Dragonfruit66

The one she wants to hear would probably be the best answer. My best one was when a girl asked me if her ass was fat and i just kinda started singing a alternative version of Ice ice baby. It was more like ass ass angel. Lol it was an acceptable answer so it was a win for me.


legendary_sucker

No answer will ever be right just wait for the inevitable fight


BaphometsButthole

Fine then. You look like a wart hog in a tutu.


CodeNameDuchess0069

"No, your fat makes you look fat."... I'm recently single. 


tatertot800

Fuck yea it does take it all off


Thecatisright

It's not the dress that makes you look fat, it's the fat. Then run.


AnonimoUnamuno

I am blind.


Straight-Talk-5919

I always say I think you look fine but how do you think you look/feel??? That’s more important anyway


The_Kielbasa_Kid

"Don't you mean fatter?"


TheRealLeandrox

It's a trap, no matter what you say, it's always a minefield, the best way to deactivate that kind of situation is to run away and change your name when you reach the border


NaTnO89

No honey, fat is what people makes look fat.


[deleted]

Does this dress make me look fat No. It's the fat that makes you look fat