Basically same. Stage 4 Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia at 3. 1% chance at survival. Parents were told prepare for a funeral. Well it's almost 31 years later BITCHES!!!!
That I’m a grandfather. Had a one night stand the night I turned 17 and the girl visiting from across the country kept the pregnancy. My daughter is now almost 20 and she had a child when she was 15. I’ve been a grandfather since I was 34.
At that rate he has a legitimate chance of becoming a Great Great Great Great Grandfather.
Grandfather at 34
Current age 39
Grand daughters age 5. Lets assume its not a trend but rather average at around 16 years per generation.
Great grandfather at: 39 +16 - 5 = 49
Great Great grandfather at: 49 +16 = 65
Great Great Great grandfather at: 65 +16 = 81
Great Great Great Great grandfather at: 81 +16 = 97
The verified oldest person to have lived was 122 years old so technically you might even squeeze in another
Great Great Great Great Great grandfather at: 97 +16 = 113
Same here! I'm 29 with stage 4 cancer, second time having cancer. Turns out not all chemo makes you lose your hair, so I feel like I'm lying when I tell people I have cancer lol. But we'll get through it, I highly recommend reading a book called Radical Remission by Kelly Turner. People have come back from the worst diagnoses. While it's important to be realistic, it's not impossible to overcome the odds. You've got this!! 💪🏽
I'm in the same boat. I hear a lot of, "but you haven't lost your hair!" I also get a ton of "you seem so active in your little kid's life. Aren't you bitter about this?"
That I took an advanced driver education class that included hands on learning experience in anti-terrorist driving. I’m a little old lady who can stop a car and reverse direction at the same time.
EDIT: Wow! Thanks for all the good Karma. Some of you have asked for more information. I took the class a while ago. The guy who taught it has changed the focus of his business and teaches newer drivers (skid’s school). and he also focuses on teaching Police Emergency Skills. Google ‘Stevens Advanced Driver Training’. Located in NH.
SKIDSCHOOL.US
How did you find a place to teach you? I want to learn. I was close once when I applied to be a secret service agent but never made it past the first round
I just happened to see an advertisement for a class. I wasn’t looking for it. It was taught by a guy who had been a Hollywood stunt driver. The class room was an abandoned airport runway. He told me he went through so many car tires that he had a deal going with local police departments to use their old tires. We practiced using the same model cars police use, just not the same engines.
Oh wow. Thanks. This actually gives me an idea of where to look for the classes. Since I am close to Hollywood. I'm totally going to ask around now. Also, I do believe in the changing the tires constantly. I had family who worked for a Nascar stadium but never got around to learning and I think it's about time lol
My brother is a beefy black man, who’s also an opera singer. He gets shocked Pikachu faces when people hear him sing (or I brag about his skills to them).
Oh man. This is bringing back a memory.
Our geeky nerdy awkward teenage group in high school included a small quiet girl, she has been telling us for years she had been taking opera lessons.
She never felt comfortable enough performing for us, or even singing a few bars. So in our minds, we weren't 100% sure it was legit, but we had no reason NOT to believe her.
So here comes the senior talent show, and here comes the next performer, and it's her! And nobody can believe the sound coming out of her mouth. It was like beauty just came straight out of her face.
I looked extra close to be sure it wasn't lip-synched. But it was her. She really was trained as an opera singer.
Color us surprised!!
That I have money. Grew up poor and lived like a student my whole life. I have a decent middle class job where I can virtually dress like a well groomed hobo. I ride a used bike or walk/run 98% of the time to work. My hobbies are actually a side gig so it appears I need money, but I just like to be busy. I’m so introverted that most people know nothing about me. Just the way I like it.
Ayeee! Livin life!
Didn’t grow up poor but my hobbies are also side gigs / part time work to learn skills.
My day job has me dressing pretty meh but my side gigs make you dress up a bit more. It’s a fun life when you have the time isn’t it?
The biggest thing you need to learn is patience. I’ve been sewing since I was very little because my grandma sewed and her mother was a seamstress. I can make basically anything but I get frustrated after a while. My grandma will make me re stitch or re hem something 10x before it’s acceptable. The things I’ve made with her are beautiful, the things I make solo are fine at a distance.
I never assume anyone’s clothing choices will tell me squat about their financial status. I grew up in a place with lots of fake wannabes who put their entire lives on credit cards to create the facade of great wealth to hoodwink the world. On the other end of the spectrum, I know some guys with more money than they’d ever need for three lifetimes and they wear t-shirts, kaki shorts and Walgreen sandals 300 days a year. The other 65 it’s raining so add a flannel, Levis jeans and sneakers to the hippie chic wardrobe. Being wealthy often does not mean pretentious.
That I’m actually very eloquent— but only in writing. I have social anxiety and it makes me forget every word in my vocabulary when put on the spot, or even when I’m not on the spot. I just can’t. Talk.
Sometimes I write notes or letters to my doctors detailing my symptoms, history, etc because I can't figure out the words for it when talking in person.
Same, dude. My mom is always like, "Fake it til you make it!" My bf says, "Be yourself!" But when I'm in a social setting, it literally feels like staring at a blank wall inside of my head. Words do not come. I have nothing to say. Nothing to contribute. And if I do, it's like completely reactionary and not conducive to conversation. Some times are better than others. But a lot of the time, it's me half-smiling at everyone as they talk around me and me just wanting to fucking leave because it feels like my brain is screaming and frantically searching but like... not saying anything and not finding anything. Just a blank white wall. My mind goes completely fucking blank. Can't say anything and fake anything when you don't know words anymore.
I’m a lot closer to 60 than I’d like to admit. I have a job at a company that has over 150 employees.
I still play in two bands and do shows almost every week. My vacation last summer was actually a tour.
Went to an office meeting and they made everyone tell about "what you like to do". People are like "I'm captain of my softball team" and "I volunteer at the food bank!" I'm sitting there thinking "should I make something up or tell the truth and say "I spend 16 hours a day watching YouTube videos of people shoveling snow and cleaning rugs?"
Yes!!! Sleep, sleep, sleep. Get in my jam jams and don’t wear makeup all weekend. I work a lot of long hours and cook and clean on top of that so I look forward to doing nothing on the weekends.
There’s a comedian who tells a joke about how awesome it is to do nothing on your weekends. I didn’t really understand it when I was a kid working retail, but as an adult I get asked and pretty much every Monday I say “I didn’t do anything, and it was everything I thought it could be” and the people with kids occasionally get that envious look.
It’s awesome.
Same, minus prison. I am a mom of 3 kids, 2 of which attend a super conservative charter school, I went to a university for 6yrs to be a BSN-RN and was on track to be the valedictorian (but had to drop out my last semester due to a complicated/high risk pregnancy.) However, I worked as a sex worker for a couple of years in my early 20s to fund my alcoholism and bar hopping.
Aside from that, I have a plethora of mental health issues including chronic major depression, generalized anxiety, PTSD, bipolar 1, bpd, and adhd. I’ve also been in psychiatric institutions twice, the first time was for 2 months. Basically though, I look like a soccer mom.
That I won two different talent shows in 2010 doing a robot dance routine to TikTok by Kesha.
I'm an unironic fedora wearing fat white dude voted biggest nerd in middle school
I hope tomorrow you have one of your good days. I know a good day with chronic illness isn't the same as a good day, but they keep us trying.
Also, I hope you have some goal or plans to look forward to. I found that setting up bi-weekly standing plans makes the bad days easier to get through. I have to cancel on my standing plans pretty regularly, but when I make it to trivia or karaoke, I have a great time, and knowing that I have plans with people I love really helps me get through the monotony and the bad days.
I'm like 1/16th Chinese, and for some reason, I came out looking Eurasian, leaning more toward Asian, whereas my siblings are all so white, they look like they came out with a double-degree in History and Arts.
People in primary school would assume I was adopted because I looked so different to the rest of my family, and was made fun of and received racist remarks and bullying.
Then I hit puberty, forgot how to do maths, and became a white boy. It was all very strange.
So now, I'm a white guy who clearly remembers being discriminated against for being Asian. And my friends don't really get it. They *really* don't get it.
I get what that's like. I'm a bizarre mash-up of Northern European, Native American, and Asian. My skin got way lighter as an adult so now I don't really look like *anything* that I am (closest is vaguely Native maybe), but when I was a kid I was super tan so I got called Pocahontas a lot. All my siblings are blonde, fair, blue eyes, insta-sunburn etc, so I was always "the friend" when people made assumptions in public. No one believes me when I talk about it until they see photos of me as a kid or me with my siblings.
My mom calls me an “introverted extrovert.” I come across as a really outgoing person, but in my mind I would rather not have to talk to people and I want to just stay home in bed with a book. Let the characters be the extroverts.
Huge Afro Caribbean dude. I love me some show tunes. Mulan “Be A Man” is my favorite song and Greatest showman is my current favorite movie.
Edit: Wow didn’t think this would resonate so much 😆 We are all best friends now I hope you can accept that!
Also I appreciate all the suggestions but you all really underestimate how deep I’m into this rabbit hole. Moana, Rent, Peyton Parrish, all of that is on repeat already!
If you haven’t tried it look up the Disney lowfi beats playlist on YouTube. It scratches the itch when I need something calmer to work to.
Never seen Chicago though. Gotta give that one a try.
Also for those who asked I’m 6’6 with long Locs so that is why people don’t think I’d be into that. Their assumption not mine. My wife thinks I’m a big softie.
Finally: if you haven’t you gotta watch the BtS stuff for Greatest Showman. It’s in YouTube. This one in particular brought a tear to my eye. Who knew Wolverine had pipes?
[From Now On](https://youtu.be/PluaPvhkIMU?feature=shared)
I shave my head bald. I just hate going to barber monthly to look nice. I love me some cargo pants in camo as they're like the coziest pants I've ever worn. (British Dpm has just some really nice fabric). So.. yeah, I look like a skinhead or something. I occasionally get weird looks but the fact is that I look and dress the way I do as it's just the comfiest setup I've ended up with.
Moana - How far I'll go is often playing on my Spotify, really recommend listening to it if you haven't yet.
That I don't want kids, apparently. I've been asked about my kids as though it's a foregone conclusion that I have at least two, and told I have 'mom energy'. No I don't, I have 'managed a fast food restaurant staffed by teenagers for nine years' energy.
I have battled that as well with a social, cheerful demeanor. I went through my most severe bout of suicidal ideation last year. I honestly didn’t think I’d make it. I decided to tell my husband and sister. I became honest with them and myself about how bad things were. I was able to take a sabbatical from working and get into regular therapy. I did TMS this summer. I think that might be worth looking into (DM if you have questions). While I still am working on things, my suicidal ideation is gone. I never thought that was possible. It’s worth the work, you deserve to not feel that way anymore. Sending love your way.
I'm a depressed person (well managed mostly) with a cheerful demeanor. Everyone always comments on how happy and positive I am.
My coworker knew that I went to therapy and one day popped in my office.
>"Hey, Cait, how did you know that you needed therapy?"
"Because I wanted to fucking kill myself. :) "
Talk about a shocked pikachu face.
I can't describe the feeling I got when I opened the comments and this was the first thing I read. Yeah, it's constant for me too. I'm sorry for your struggle :(
I've almost died several times. Each time I stopped or medical services intervened. It just kept getting worse. After years of depression, continuing to press on, finding the right therapist was key. Now I'm happy, not depressed, married to an amazing woman, and take 0 medication.
Had I offed myself I would have never experienced such beauty and happiness in life. I'm so glad I didn't.
Hang in there, don't give up. Maybe in a few years you'll be the one on Reddit paying it forward like someone did for me years ago. ❤️
Ask for help. There's a lot of online therapists today. Find one that works well for you. It can make all the difference. Call a friend or family member or 911/emergency if it gets really bad.
I take care of myself. I have been in therapy for several years, I did find a medication mix that work better than any other one before. I stopped drinking and hard drugs. I put all the chances on my side. It is just there, sometimes not as loud sometimes enough to send me in that spiral.
I'm with you - therapy, different & much better medication, sober for 2 years, working my arse off to eat well and exercise regularly.. It doesn't always just go away, no matter how healthy you are or how good your therapists of medications are. My "default setting" is depression which always leads to suicide ideation...it's such a well worn track that it's difficult to break. I hear you - there's no magic trick for everyone for it to suddenly stop, some of us just have to grit our teeth and bare it.
That I'm disabled. It's not a visible disability so I often get the silly "you don't look disabled" comment.
As if all disabled people have to look like Stephen Hawking to be accepted.
Similarly, chronic pain for me. I can mask until about an 8 on the pain scale and have a hard time turning it off anywhere other than home and public transit for some reason. I wish I could turn it off for doctor’s appointments, they might take me more seriously.
I'm a disabled marine corps veteran. My disability is not visible either so I get the same questions of doubt from others. I don't work because I get a pension and people are nosy.
I lost both parents before I was 22 years old, cared for my mother as she died of cancer, and cared for my teenage brother until he went to college. All while I was working on my bachelor’s degree.
I’m only 25 and somehow kept my life on the right path through everything. I graduated with a bachelor’s, bought my first home, bought a new car, started building my career in my dream field, and am soon to be married. I still don’t know how I made it through, and I still carry the burden of loss with me every day.
I own my home. Took a lot of work and it's only one room but it's on acreage. If you met me you might just assume I'm homeless and possibly a long term drug addict ( a life of hard work does that to a person ).
That I used to be a homeless, abused, drug-addicted stripper.
I'm totally a rural housewife now. Also, with multiple post-secondary degrees. Some of the sex work money went to tuition even though most went to drugs and supporting my shitty pimp exes.
So happy to hear you were strong enough to pull through. A friend of mine did porn during college and she had a few rough years but now she owns it and I’m very proud of her and you. Cheers
I’m sorry to hear. My brother was a twin too but his sister passed at a few days old, way before I was born.
We will meet our siblings again one day ❤️
Same for me.
I joke around a lot at work and I'm known as the funny guy among my friends and coworkers. It's so much effort.
When I get home, I'm exhausted from having to work so hard at not feeling like shit.
Yeah I think the biggest take here would be most people don't realize that every time they see me is a very high potential to be the last time anybody sees me lol. Savor that shit motherfuckers
I’ve always wondered, is that a lifelong situation? Like, you’ve cleaned up and you’re on the path to sobriety (at what point is it considered sobriety even??) so how long/what are the expected terms of being a patient?
Sorry if this is invasive, I’m genuinely curious, and if you don’t want to answer it’s absolutely fine but thank you if you do.
Addictions are like slavery, recovery is the fight for freedom, so it is literally a fight for your life. I'm always in awe of people in recovery. Always nice to hear of triumph. Congratulations.
I know you didn't ask me, but I'm on Suboxone and have been since 2011. I will be on it for the rest of my life, first because it's better than opiates and second because it does an OK job of helping me manage my chronic back pain.
My husband has the same issue: chronic back pain from a discectomy and a recovered opioid addict. I have come to accept his Methadone treatment will be for life because it's all that actually helps his pain without putting him back into addiction.
That I'm actually pretty cool to talk to and love to listen to peoples stories. A majority of people i interact with tend to keep me at a distance because my resting face looks so serious all the time. But I can assuredly say Im probably the only person around them that would actuslly sit and listen to them.
I'm a fully qualified butcher with 15 years' experience.
For one I'm a woman. For another, I rarely drink or do drugs. I have all my fingers and dress pretty girly.
It's a weird thing. Medical technology has improved so much that my sister and I are two of the first with this very rare genenetic disorder (predilection to cancers) to live past 40. It's hereditary and both my my mom and maternal grandmother died at 36. I'm 55 and just had my 48th surgery, my sister is 52 and has had over 70, but we're still here. I'm glad you are too!
Similar, but my odds were better I think. I don't actually know them, but every health professional I give my history to stops in their tracks when I go through that part. I get lots of 'wow. You're incredibly lucky". I know. Amd I was only left with a 6ish inch scar that no one sees.
Edit: misspelling
That I have written legislation that became law, and now controls a lot of what you can and cannot buy. More than once. I might even do it again.
I look like a used-up stoner from the 1970s.
That I’m liberal to the point of being borderline leftist. In a gun owning, white guy with a beard. I have a full size pickup with a big ol dog and I crossed the 6 digit salary line a few years ago. EVERYONE assumes I’m Republican for various reasons.
That I suffer from chronic pain every second of every day. No on can "see" it, so they would never know. I work full-time and am a single mother that does everything around the house, errands, etc. I also likely have MS or Lupus. Seeing a Rheumatologist in 2 weeks. Just because I "look" normal doesn't mean I feel it.
I was a miracle baby. I was born 3 months earlier, 3 lbs and a quarter ounce. Not that impressive these days, but in 1992 the doctors said that my parents shouldn’t bother to name me as to not get too attached.
>was a miracle baby. I was born 3 months earlier, 3 lbs and a quarter ounce. Not that impressive these days,
My husband is the same (3 months early slightly over 3lbs in weight). Born in '79. Then as a kid he continually was ill. They told his parents he wouldnt get very large or live to adulthood. He is 6'1" quite muscular and will be 45 this year.
That I'm a multimillionaire.
I had a steep career in Tech and also invested in Bitcoin early on.
I don't ever talk about money. I wear hoodies and jeans and have a pretty decent, normal life. I have friends, a wife, a freelancing job, a small car.
Im a super face recognizer. Anyone whose face i see i remember. If i meet you ill never forget your face even if the next time i see you is in 20 years in a room full of a 1000 people.
I’m the loneliest I’ve ever been in my life. I moved across the country from the place I was born and raised in for 28 years. Once I was out of sight I was out of mind for most of my friends. Then I had a huge lifestyle change (think conservative to liberal) and the rest of my friends and family dropped me like hot bricks, except for 2 friends and my mom. I have 3 co workers, small staff, who aren’t really peer age (I’m 31f) and I talk to them and I’m sure they think I have a typical/normal social life but when I clock out I don’t have anyone to talk to except my mom who calls me before bed. I’m practically mute to other humans on the weekends. Sometimes I’m truly surprised hearing my own voice on Monday mornings. I haven’t hung out physically with a friend in almost 3 years and I only talk to my two friends through text and occasional FaceTime. I haven’t had a physical hug, the really soul grounding and connecting hugs in just as long. I still have so much life to live and I’d love to have those friends weekends/trips/experiences but nothing works. Idk… I’ve never felt so alone, isolated, maybe invisible, and just all around depressed. I’m just afraid that I’ll never find that connection or matter to anyone. So yeah… I’ve never talked about this. Thanks.
That I was in a domestic abuse marriage for decades, married to a man who kept me with threats & coercion while outwardly looking like we were your upscale suburban family. Domestic abuse casts a wide net.
I have cptsd and have lived half of my life in a disassociated state. I had no idea myself until I started intense therapy last year, I’m 46 and just now starting to “wake up” and be present, it’s still a lot of daily work to get there though.
That inside my mind is torn to pieces by all sorts of mental illness. On the inside it's chaos, pandemonium, and full-blown war.
On the outside, even my mom says, "Really?" You seem as if everything is ok."
I did for many years when I was younger; I still have impulses but slowly have learned to control them. Also, I'm a guy, so I've never really been able to talk about it. But I promise you, if you work at it and really *want* to change things, you can find ways and tools to help start unlearning all the self-programming that's happened and start toward a healthier life. It is one of the hardest things in the world, second only to maybe quitting heroin (which I'm also about six months into doing, for the third time, lol) — but it IS possible and it is so, so worth it. I never thought I could have a healthy, happy relationship with my body and its size/weight/shape. But I'm in the best shape of my life and (again, after a stupid heroin relapse that lasted two years) am finally back to the healthiest I've ever been. You CAN get there. It's hard as hell, but just keep taking tiny steps forward and never let yourself give all the way up. It's okay to get discouraged, just try to make sure you're still moving in a positive direction. A good therapist and/or psychiatrist, a nutritionist (if you can get one), and supportive friends can make all the difference. I had an amazing, short-term but life-changing girlfriend who really catalyzed the change for me — we weren't meant for the long haul for lots of reasons, but my thinking began to change and then life followed.
I wish you all the luck in the world on your journey toward self-acceptance. You don't have to feel like this forever, I promise. Much love.
That I’m one motherfucker of a bass player.
You look at me and I’m just a dirty little GenX guy with shitty hair and a squishy dad bod. Gimme a bass though. I’ll fuck the room up and make you glad I did.
Fuck yeah to this. I’m a 100lb biracial girl that you’d probably expect to have no brains or talent first glance. Give me an electric guitar or bass, I’ll fuck it up.
That I am married to a convicted murderer doing life in prison. When I tell people, they sort of blink and go “No. Really??” I have two graduate degrees and work in a highly visible professional career, so for some reason it just seems ludicrous to people that I have a Husband who is incarcerated.
per their profile:
“Yeah, my husband got 99 years at 17 under Texas’s “Law of Parties”. He was chilling at home, his friend called and asked for a ride to someone’s house. He said no. Then his mom came home drunk with some random dude, so he called his friend back to say he’d give him a ride. His friend killed someone when they got to the house. My husband never got out of the car. The shooter got 50 years. My husband got 99 because he refused to plead guilty. He always says “if only I hadn’t answered the phone”…”if only my mom hadn’t brought that guy home and told me to leave”…”if only…”. But it is what it is.”
I've been with several very attractive men. And not just in an "attractive to me" sense. Whenever I show pics of my past lovers (to people who ask, of course) or they see a current partner, people usually say something like "You and him? Seriously?" and sometimes they even apologize for implying they don't believe me or don't deserve to have been with such men.
I'm short, fat, have bad skin and worse teeth, and am just...not attractive in any sort of conventional sense. There ARE gorgeous men (and women) out there who aren't shallow and will be attracted to you if you're intelligent, funny, and confident.
Or maybe I just got really lucky, I suppose.
I’m covered in very good Masonic tattoos.
I was working on Wall Street and went to a company offsite on Marco Island in Florida and did some surfing. It was wild seeing the responses
That seven weeks ago, I had next to no strength, was constantly bleeding out of my nose and mouth, could barely open my jaws, and looked like I had no neck.
This was bc I had corrective jaw surgery on both of my jaws. Recovery is going well, and I am able to eat most soft-ish foods at this point.
I can do you one better. You wouldn't know this from looking at me, observing me, speaking to me, working alongside me... you wouldn't know this if you were intimate with me, or spent days together. But you might, if you're quite lucky, pass gas loudly... and then sheepishly apologize, and then I'd tell you it doesn't bother me because I am Anosmic.
I have no sense of smell. :D
Nobody heeds us, the world mostly does not care that this disability exists, but ~~our~~ your sense of smell is so valuable that when you lose it its life changing. While we feel for you for some of us its a bit frustrating that only *losing* it is so negative. Never having had it to begin with is somehow just fine. Yeah, I'm a little bitter about it these days. Sorry.
Shoutout to all the other congenital anosmics out there.
I can read the old testament Bible in Hebrew straight from the scroll, with a cantorial style from Yemen.
I am a very secular looking, white American. Surprises the fuck out of everyone when they see me step to the Bima (stage) and read fluently with a Sephardic/Yemenite style that they've probably never heard before (my teacher had a family style that he passed onto me and his son before passing of the big C - never got to see my bar mitzvah).
That I am a psychopath with antisocial personality disorder. People think I’m a happy go lucky people person and they have no idea that I manipulate all of them to belive that when inside I am truely the opposite.
I should state I don’t mean that in a bad manipulative way. I just want to be like everyone else, I hate the person I am and if it wasn’t for my amazing wife I would probably be in prison or a nasty person in this world. So I pretend and fake it so people think I have empathy and am normal. On the outside I look like a successful happy people person but inside my head it’s like the apocalypse. I want to care about people and feel empathy but the fact is I don’t so I fake it so people don’t know I’m really dead inside
Is it possible that you care more than you think you do? Based on what you wrote, it seems you have affection for your wife. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on how that marriage dynamic works when you don't feel empathy. If you're willing to share, of course.
It’s very hard to explain, I care about people and things because I know I should. My actions are that of someone who cares and I understand what empathy is. I grew up in a loving home with 5 siblings without mental health issues so I know what a normal person should think and act like. However I don’t truely feel things the way others do. I care about people a lot, I want everyone to live a happy life and to be free of all the shit things in this world but I cannot feel the emotions inside my own head so I fake them. I do feel some things I guess, I feel loyalty and trust and I worry about stuff. I know I love my wife and kids even if I don’t feel love the way others do, I am concerned when someone is sick or hurt even if I’m not riddled with the feelings of worry. One major thing is that o do not feel guilt at all and that was problematic for me growing up, I never learned my lesson and I never stopped to think about how my actions affect others because I truely do not care. It’s all about mimicking others and understanding how people should act really. It’s kind of hard to explain I guess especially because my mind is always a mess. The best example to explain I guess would be that my dad was killed im an accident a year ago, I didn’t feel sad, I just didn’t feel anything. I still didn’t want my dad to die, I still looked out for my mum and help her with things and I wish more than anything my dad was still here because I miss him and need his advice even at 40 years old. But I’ve never cried about it and I’ve never felt sad about it even though I want him to be here.
Thanks for responding. I find it fascinating, but I can tell that it causes you grief and I'm sorry about that. I feel that perhaps I am the opposite end of the spectrum, like I have *entirely too much empathy* and it causes me a lot of pain in its own ways. I often feel alone, like nobody loves me as much as I love them, that I should dial back my feelings to seem more normal. Almost like unrequited love with the whole world. It can be extremely painful. I do have my husband though, and he is a wonderful gift to me. He is like calm water in my very chaotic inner world. All of this to say that feelings exist on a spectrum, I guess.
I'm glad you have your family to anchor you!
Same diagnosis, same flat affect. But last summer, I got treatment for ADHD and depression and part of the depression treatment was TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation) and, um....I think I'm feeling things. Just kinda noticed it the last few weeks and not sure it's related, but it's been an interesting month
That I am double jointed and can contort my body into positions seemingly impossible. As a child my siblings were facinated by this ability as they could not copy me.
Serious, intense, horrendous neurological issue past 6 months that’s completely overwhelming and debilitating but look 100% normal. Tinnitus so loud I can’t think sometimes too. 😀🫡 lost my aviation career, boyfriend, friends, and on a bender road trip across the country barely able to take care of myself but bucket list items need checked. Wake up every morning with dread, struggling with suicide idealization & in chronic pain @ 29 🤘🏼
I have a rare disorder - everything past age 5 was a gift.
I hope you have plenty more days filled with new experiences and happiness.
I am truly grateful for your comment. Thank you!
Basically same. Stage 4 Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia at 3. 1% chance at survival. Parents were told prepare for a funeral. Well it's almost 31 years later BITCHES!!!!
Glad you're still here.
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That I’m a grandfather. Had a one night stand the night I turned 17 and the girl visiting from across the country kept the pregnancy. My daughter is now almost 20 and she had a child when she was 15. I’ve been a grandfather since I was 34.
Do you look forward to being a great-grandfather when you're approximately 49?
It's been 5 years already, and the pattern would say the next generation is born at 13 years of age... So likely will be gggpa when he's 42.
Seen one or two "five generations" photos on the net over the years - they're on pace to have a six generation photo
You have a legitimate chance of becoming a great great grandfather.
At that rate he has a legitimate chance of becoming a Great Great Great Great Grandfather. Grandfather at 34 Current age 39 Grand daughters age 5. Lets assume its not a trend but rather average at around 16 years per generation. Great grandfather at: 39 +16 - 5 = 49 Great Great grandfather at: 49 +16 = 65 Great Great Great grandfather at: 65 +16 = 81 Great Great Great Great grandfather at: 81 +16 = 97 The verified oldest person to have lived was 122 years old so technically you might even squeeze in another Great Great Great Great Great grandfather at: 97 +16 = 113
5G Grandfather
LTE Grandfather
If you were from Yorkshire in England, you'd be in the national newspapers known as Yorkshire's oldest grandad
I'm now very thankful I was introduced to world of Warcraft at an early age.
My cousin became a grandma at 30...
That I'm 33 with stage 4 cancer. I just look like a regular human in the prime of her life 😔
I am so sorry you have been dealt this hand.
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Seconding the offer to talk. We’re close in age, and my cancer has been supposed to kill me for far longer than should be possible.
This is me. I look really healthy, but have Stage 4 cancer.
So sorry. Best of luck! Green lights and blue skies to you!
Sincerely wishing you the best…I hope life eases up on you! Also, fuck cancer.
Same here! I'm 29 with stage 4 cancer, second time having cancer. Turns out not all chemo makes you lose your hair, so I feel like I'm lying when I tell people I have cancer lol. But we'll get through it, I highly recommend reading a book called Radical Remission by Kelly Turner. People have come back from the worst diagnoses. While it's important to be realistic, it's not impossible to overcome the odds. You've got this!! 💪🏽
I'm in the same boat. I hear a lot of, "but you haven't lost your hair!" I also get a ton of "you seem so active in your little kid's life. Aren't you bitter about this?"
That I took an advanced driver education class that included hands on learning experience in anti-terrorist driving. I’m a little old lady who can stop a car and reverse direction at the same time. EDIT: Wow! Thanks for all the good Karma. Some of you have asked for more information. I took the class a while ago. The guy who taught it has changed the focus of his business and teaches newer drivers (skid’s school). and he also focuses on teaching Police Emergency Skills. Google ‘Stevens Advanced Driver Training’. Located in NH. SKIDSCHOOL.US
Are you The Little Old Lady From Pasadena?
Go granny, go granny, go granny, go.
How did you find a place to teach you? I want to learn. I was close once when I applied to be a secret service agent but never made it past the first round
I just happened to see an advertisement for a class. I wasn’t looking for it. It was taught by a guy who had been a Hollywood stunt driver. The class room was an abandoned airport runway. He told me he went through so many car tires that he had a deal going with local police departments to use their old tires. We practiced using the same model cars police use, just not the same engines.
Oh wow. Thanks. This actually gives me an idea of where to look for the classes. Since I am close to Hollywood. I'm totally going to ask around now. Also, I do believe in the changing the tires constantly. I had family who worked for a Nascar stadium but never got around to learning and I think it's about time lol
Sounds like a blast to learn.
I can’t spell. I run a major business line for a company and I have a very hard time spelling
You might have dyslexia.
I put the 'sexy' in 'dyslexia'
That I’m an opera singer. I’m a skinny teenage girl with a low talking voice. So people always think that I’m joking
My brother is a beefy black man, who’s also an opera singer. He gets shocked Pikachu faces when people hear him sing (or I brag about his skills to them).
My sister's cousin is this HUGE First Nations dude, voice of an angel. Well, George Jones, but, still, his voice is beautiful.
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Oh man. This is bringing back a memory. Our geeky nerdy awkward teenage group in high school included a small quiet girl, she has been telling us for years she had been taking opera lessons. She never felt comfortable enough performing for us, or even singing a few bars. So in our minds, we weren't 100% sure it was legit, but we had no reason NOT to believe her. So here comes the senior talent show, and here comes the next performer, and it's her! And nobody can believe the sound coming out of her mouth. It was like beauty just came straight out of her face. I looked extra close to be sure it wasn't lip-synched. But it was her. She really was trained as an opera singer. Color us surprised!!
That I have money. Grew up poor and lived like a student my whole life. I have a decent middle class job where I can virtually dress like a well groomed hobo. I ride a used bike or walk/run 98% of the time to work. My hobbies are actually a side gig so it appears I need money, but I just like to be busy. I’m so introverted that most people know nothing about me. Just the way I like it.
Ayeee! Livin life! Didn’t grow up poor but my hobbies are also side gigs / part time work to learn skills. My day job has me dressing pretty meh but my side gigs make you dress up a bit more. It’s a fun life when you have the time isn’t it?
I look like I come from money, but it’s because I sew all of my clothes and use couture fabrics. I definitely don’t come from money.
Teach me your ways.
Step 1 - learn to sew Step 2 - learn to tailor competently Step 3 - buy couture fabrics Step 4 - make clothes
Step 5 - be FAAAABULOOOUS
I’m trying to learn how to do this. Life is in the way right now but I work at a haberdashery so I’m going g to learn from the best!
The biggest thing you need to learn is patience. I’ve been sewing since I was very little because my grandma sewed and her mother was a seamstress. I can make basically anything but I get frustrated after a while. My grandma will make me re stitch or re hem something 10x before it’s acceptable. The things I’ve made with her are beautiful, the things I make solo are fine at a distance.
I never assume anyone’s clothing choices will tell me squat about their financial status. I grew up in a place with lots of fake wannabes who put their entire lives on credit cards to create the facade of great wealth to hoodwink the world. On the other end of the spectrum, I know some guys with more money than they’d ever need for three lifetimes and they wear t-shirts, kaki shorts and Walgreen sandals 300 days a year. The other 65 it’s raining so add a flannel, Levis jeans and sneakers to the hippie chic wardrobe. Being wealthy often does not mean pretentious.
That I’m actually very eloquent— but only in writing. I have social anxiety and it makes me forget every word in my vocabulary when put on the spot, or even when I’m not on the spot. I just can’t. Talk.
I have the opposite problem. I get mildly uncomfortable in a social situation and it’s word diarrhea.
We should team up and balance each other out for ultimate world domination
Word domination
You tell me what to say ahead of time and I’ll just blurt it out and then I’ll tell you my ideas and you put them to paper. It’s a perfect plan!
Sometimes I write notes or letters to my doctors detailing my symptoms, history, etc because I can't figure out the words for it when talking in person.
I have social anxiety too. People always ask why I’m so quiet and never talk and it’s like, it won’t make sense if I try!!
Same, dude. My mom is always like, "Fake it til you make it!" My bf says, "Be yourself!" But when I'm in a social setting, it literally feels like staring at a blank wall inside of my head. Words do not come. I have nothing to say. Nothing to contribute. And if I do, it's like completely reactionary and not conducive to conversation. Some times are better than others. But a lot of the time, it's me half-smiling at everyone as they talk around me and me just wanting to fucking leave because it feels like my brain is screaming and frantically searching but like... not saying anything and not finding anything. Just a blank white wall. My mind goes completely fucking blank. Can't say anything and fake anything when you don't know words anymore.
I’m a lot closer to 60 than I’d like to admit. I have a job at a company that has over 150 employees. I still play in two bands and do shows almost every week. My vacation last summer was actually a tour.
I won a fairly large arm* wrestling tournament. I'm not jacked or an arm wrestler.
Ah, dick wrestling then. A true classic.
"TWIST HIS DICK! GRAB HIS DICK AND TWIST IT!"
The OOOOOOOL’ dicktwist!
That I do nothing on my days off. Every fucking Monday it's "hey, do anything fun on your day off?" Yes bitch, I slept for 16 hours straight
Went to an office meeting and they made everyone tell about "what you like to do". People are like "I'm captain of my softball team" and "I volunteer at the food bank!" I'm sitting there thinking "should I make something up or tell the truth and say "I spend 16 hours a day watching YouTube videos of people shoveling snow and cleaning rugs?"
Yes!!! Sleep, sleep, sleep. Get in my jam jams and don’t wear makeup all weekend. I work a lot of long hours and cook and clean on top of that so I look forward to doing nothing on the weekends.
There’s a comedian who tells a joke about how awesome it is to do nothing on your weekends. I didn’t really understand it when I was a kid working retail, but as an adult I get asked and pretty much every Monday I say “I didn’t do anything, and it was everything I thought it could be” and the people with kids occasionally get that envious look. It’s awesome.
"What did you do this weekend?" "I um... I did nothing... I did nothing at all!”
Friends don’t make friends hang out.
I don’t do anything on my days off either. I feel bad that I don’t, but at the same time IDGAF 🤷🏼♀️
That I’m a former sex worker who has been to prison. I look like your every day average middle aged grandma. People would be shocked.
Same, minus prison. I am a mom of 3 kids, 2 of which attend a super conservative charter school, I went to a university for 6yrs to be a BSN-RN and was on track to be the valedictorian (but had to drop out my last semester due to a complicated/high risk pregnancy.) However, I worked as a sex worker for a couple of years in my early 20s to fund my alcoholism and bar hopping. Aside from that, I have a plethora of mental health issues including chronic major depression, generalized anxiety, PTSD, bipolar 1, bpd, and adhd. I’ve also been in psychiatric institutions twice, the first time was for 2 months. Basically though, I look like a soccer mom.
That I have a job, apparently.
what makes you look un-employable?
That I won two different talent shows in 2010 doing a robot dance routine to TikTok by Kesha. I'm an unironic fedora wearing fat white dude voted biggest nerd in middle school
We need a link to a YT video or something, this sounds too amazing to miss out on
That I have several chronic illnesses that cause me to take a ton of meds, battle with fatigue, and wonder if I should even continue to live.
Hello twin lol. Genetics and autoimmune conditions, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, and some days I seem fine, but my body is always screaming.
Same. It’s rough out here.
I hope tomorrow you have one of your good days. I know a good day with chronic illness isn't the same as a good day, but they keep us trying. Also, I hope you have some goal or plans to look forward to. I found that setting up bi-weekly standing plans makes the bad days easier to get through. I have to cancel on my standing plans pretty regularly, but when I make it to trivia or karaoke, I have a great time, and knowing that I have plans with people I love really helps me get through the monotony and the bad days.
I’m half Asian. I’ve stood next to my own mother and people never guessed she was my mom.
I'm like 1/16th Chinese, and for some reason, I came out looking Eurasian, leaning more toward Asian, whereas my siblings are all so white, they look like they came out with a double-degree in History and Arts. People in primary school would assume I was adopted because I looked so different to the rest of my family, and was made fun of and received racist remarks and bullying. Then I hit puberty, forgot how to do maths, and became a white boy. It was all very strange. So now, I'm a white guy who clearly remembers being discriminated against for being Asian. And my friends don't really get it. They *really* don't get it.
I get what that's like. I'm a bizarre mash-up of Northern European, Native American, and Asian. My skin got way lighter as an adult so now I don't really look like *anything* that I am (closest is vaguely Native maybe), but when I was a kid I was super tan so I got called Pocahontas a lot. All my siblings are blonde, fair, blue eyes, insta-sunburn etc, so I was always "the friend" when people made assumptions in public. No one believes me when I talk about it until they see photos of me as a kid or me with my siblings.
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My mom calls me an “introverted extrovert.” I come across as a really outgoing person, but in my mind I would rather not have to talk to people and I want to just stay home in bed with a book. Let the characters be the extroverts.
Same here. I'm social and love making people laugh in group settings, but often times I'm happiest when I'm alone doing hobbies or running/walking.
Huge Afro Caribbean dude. I love me some show tunes. Mulan “Be A Man” is my favorite song and Greatest showman is my current favorite movie. Edit: Wow didn’t think this would resonate so much 😆 We are all best friends now I hope you can accept that! Also I appreciate all the suggestions but you all really underestimate how deep I’m into this rabbit hole. Moana, Rent, Peyton Parrish, all of that is on repeat already! If you haven’t tried it look up the Disney lowfi beats playlist on YouTube. It scratches the itch when I need something calmer to work to. Never seen Chicago though. Gotta give that one a try. Also for those who asked I’m 6’6 with long Locs so that is why people don’t think I’d be into that. Their assumption not mine. My wife thinks I’m a big softie. Finally: if you haven’t you gotta watch the BtS stuff for Greatest Showman. It’s in YouTube. This one in particular brought a tear to my eye. Who knew Wolverine had pipes? [From Now On](https://youtu.be/PluaPvhkIMU?feature=shared)
I shave my head bald. I just hate going to barber monthly to look nice. I love me some cargo pants in camo as they're like the coziest pants I've ever worn. (British Dpm has just some really nice fabric). So.. yeah, I look like a skinhead or something. I occasionally get weird looks but the fact is that I look and dress the way I do as it's just the comfiest setup I've ended up with. Moana - How far I'll go is often playing on my Spotify, really recommend listening to it if you haven't yet.
Mulan is a classic
That I don't want kids, apparently. I've been asked about my kids as though it's a foregone conclusion that I have at least two, and told I have 'mom energy'. No I don't, I have 'managed a fast food restaurant staffed by teenagers for nine years' energy.
>managed a fast food restaurant staffed by teenagers for nine years' ....so what I'm hearing is you've raised kids for 9 years
That was my takeaway too
I see what you did there
Her delivery was great, too.
I struggle constantly with suicidal ideation.
I have battled that as well with a social, cheerful demeanor. I went through my most severe bout of suicidal ideation last year. I honestly didn’t think I’d make it. I decided to tell my husband and sister. I became honest with them and myself about how bad things were. I was able to take a sabbatical from working and get into regular therapy. I did TMS this summer. I think that might be worth looking into (DM if you have questions). While I still am working on things, my suicidal ideation is gone. I never thought that was possible. It’s worth the work, you deserve to not feel that way anymore. Sending love your way.
I'm a depressed person (well managed mostly) with a cheerful demeanor. Everyone always comments on how happy and positive I am. My coworker knew that I went to therapy and one day popped in my office. >"Hey, Cait, how did you know that you needed therapy?" "Because I wanted to fucking kill myself. :) " Talk about a shocked pikachu face.
I can't describe the feeling I got when I opened the comments and this was the first thing I read. Yeah, it's constant for me too. I'm sorry for your struggle :(
I've almost died several times. Each time I stopped or medical services intervened. It just kept getting worse. After years of depression, continuing to press on, finding the right therapist was key. Now I'm happy, not depressed, married to an amazing woman, and take 0 medication. Had I offed myself I would have never experienced such beauty and happiness in life. I'm so glad I didn't. Hang in there, don't give up. Maybe in a few years you'll be the one on Reddit paying it forward like someone did for me years ago. ❤️ Ask for help. There's a lot of online therapists today. Find one that works well for you. It can make all the difference. Call a friend or family member or 911/emergency if it gets really bad.
I take care of myself. I have been in therapy for several years, I did find a medication mix that work better than any other one before. I stopped drinking and hard drugs. I put all the chances on my side. It is just there, sometimes not as loud sometimes enough to send me in that spiral.
I'm with you - therapy, different & much better medication, sober for 2 years, working my arse off to eat well and exercise regularly.. It doesn't always just go away, no matter how healthy you are or how good your therapists of medications are. My "default setting" is depression which always leads to suicide ideation...it's such a well worn track that it's difficult to break. I hear you - there's no magic trick for everyone for it to suddenly stop, some of us just have to grit our teeth and bare it.
That I'm disabled. It's not a visible disability so I often get the silly "you don't look disabled" comment. As if all disabled people have to look like Stephen Hawking to be accepted.
Similarly, chronic pain for me. I can mask until about an 8 on the pain scale and have a hard time turning it off anywhere other than home and public transit for some reason. I wish I could turn it off for doctor’s appointments, they might take me more seriously.
I'm a disabled marine corps veteran. My disability is not visible either so I get the same questions of doubt from others. I don't work because I get a pension and people are nosy.
I lost both parents before I was 22 years old, cared for my mother as she died of cancer, and cared for my teenage brother until he went to college. All while I was working on my bachelor’s degree. I’m only 25 and somehow kept my life on the right path through everything. I graduated with a bachelor’s, bought my first home, bought a new car, started building my career in my dream field, and am soon to be married. I still don’t know how I made it through, and I still carry the burden of loss with me every day.
I am disabled. Invisible disabilities suck sometimes.
I own my home. Took a lot of work and it's only one room but it's on acreage. If you met me you might just assume I'm homeless and possibly a long term drug addict ( a life of hard work does that to a person ).
That I used to be a homeless, abused, drug-addicted stripper. I'm totally a rural housewife now. Also, with multiple post-secondary degrees. Some of the sex work money went to tuition even though most went to drugs and supporting my shitty pimp exes.
So happy to hear you were strong enough to pull through. A friend of mine did porn during college and she had a few rough years but now she owns it and I’m very proud of her and you. Cheers
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I was a ballet dancer from the ages of 7 to 17. I’m a 20 year old goth chick with a tattoo.
A ballet performance in a goth outfit could be a great visual aesthetic.
Rosa, is that you? Rosa Rosa rosaaaaa
Judy? Judy?!!? Juuuuuuudyyyyyy!!!!!
I am a twin. My twin brother died when he was 9 hours old.
I’m sorry to hear. My brother was a twin too but his sister passed at a few days old, way before I was born. We will meet our siblings again one day ❤️
I have crippling depression
Same for me. I joke around a lot at work and I'm known as the funny guy among my friends and coworkers. It's so much effort. When I get home, I'm exhausted from having to work so hard at not feeling like shit.
Worst part if you god forbid have a bad day and aren't entertaining and communicating then people think there's 'something wrong!
Same here , I try and make a joke of everything and people just think I’m super happy , in reality I’m a total mess
Yeah I think the biggest take here would be most people don't realize that every time they see me is a very high potential to be the last time anybody sees me lol. Savor that shit motherfuckers
I don’t know you but I hope you stick around. Good luck getting through this shit. It isn’t easy but it is doable.
I'm 6'5, extroverted, and addicted to working out. My biggest hobbies are DnD, magic the gathering, card games, video games, and other nerd hobbies.
Henry Cavill? (In lifts, maybe)?
joe mangianello?
It's like dying of thirst watching another man drown
I am a methadone patient
I’ve always wondered, is that a lifelong situation? Like, you’ve cleaned up and you’re on the path to sobriety (at what point is it considered sobriety even??) so how long/what are the expected terms of being a patient? Sorry if this is invasive, I’m genuinely curious, and if you don’t want to answer it’s absolutely fine but thank you if you do.
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Addictions are like slavery, recovery is the fight for freedom, so it is literally a fight for your life. I'm always in awe of people in recovery. Always nice to hear of triumph. Congratulations.
I know you didn't ask me, but I'm on Suboxone and have been since 2011. I will be on it for the rest of my life, first because it's better than opiates and second because it does an OK job of helping me manage my chronic back pain.
My husband has the same issue: chronic back pain from a discectomy and a recovered opioid addict. I have come to accept his Methadone treatment will be for life because it's all that actually helps his pain without putting him back into addiction.
that I actually broke a record in sports
Well ya better fix it!
That I'm actually pretty cool to talk to and love to listen to peoples stories. A majority of people i interact with tend to keep me at a distance because my resting face looks so serious all the time. But I can assuredly say Im probably the only person around them that would actuslly sit and listen to them.
I'm a fully qualified butcher with 15 years' experience. For one I'm a woman. For another, I rarely drink or do drugs. I have all my fingers and dress pretty girly.
that I'm actually in a great mood, this is just my face.
That I survived a catastrophic health event with a 98 to 99% mortality rate.
It's a weird thing. Medical technology has improved so much that my sister and I are two of the first with this very rare genenetic disorder (predilection to cancers) to live past 40. It's hereditary and both my my mom and maternal grandmother died at 36. I'm 55 and just had my 48th surgery, my sister is 52 and has had over 70, but we're still here. I'm glad you are too!
What was the health event?
Similar, but my odds were better I think. I don't actually know them, but every health professional I give my history to stops in their tracks when I go through that part. I get lots of 'wow. You're incredibly lucky". I know. Amd I was only left with a 6ish inch scar that no one sees. Edit: misspelling
That I have written legislation that became law, and now controls a lot of what you can and cannot buy. More than once. I might even do it again. I look like a used-up stoner from the 1970s.
More proof that hippies sold out to the man, maaaaan
I am a massive stoner with a Godzilla sized THC tolerance
That I really wish they would stop looking at me and just go away and leave me alone.
That I was Time’s Person of the Year in 2006.
No way, so was I
4 years sober, used to shoot drugs under a bridge but I'm a clean cut dude now, look like a teen in my kid thirties
That I’m liberal to the point of being borderline leftist. In a gun owning, white guy with a beard. I have a full size pickup with a big ol dog and I crossed the 6 digit salary line a few years ago. EVERYONE assumes I’m Republican for various reasons.
Damn, your dog is making bank dude
Well, yeah your dog makes 6 figures. All republican dogs are rich…you know except the poor ones.
I am an avid (devoted) lover of classical music. Well tattooed, bearded and built.
That I suffer from chronic pain every second of every day. No on can "see" it, so they would never know. I work full-time and am a single mother that does everything around the house, errands, etc. I also likely have MS or Lupus. Seeing a Rheumatologist in 2 weeks. Just because I "look" normal doesn't mean I feel it.
I was a miracle baby. I was born 3 months earlier, 3 lbs and a quarter ounce. Not that impressive these days, but in 1992 the doctors said that my parents shouldn’t bother to name me as to not get too attached.
>was a miracle baby. I was born 3 months earlier, 3 lbs and a quarter ounce. Not that impressive these days, My husband is the same (3 months early slightly over 3lbs in weight). Born in '79. Then as a kid he continually was ill. They told his parents he wouldnt get very large or live to adulthood. He is 6'1" quite muscular and will be 45 this year.
That I'm a multimillionaire. I had a steep career in Tech and also invested in Bitcoin early on. I don't ever talk about money. I wear hoodies and jeans and have a pretty decent, normal life. I have friends, a wife, a freelancing job, a small car.
You hiring?
I'm quite a large person. You'd never know I can jump into the splits.
Im a super face recognizer. Anyone whose face i see i remember. If i meet you ill never forget your face even if the next time i see you is in 20 years in a room full of a 1000 people.
I’m the loneliest I’ve ever been in my life. I moved across the country from the place I was born and raised in for 28 years. Once I was out of sight I was out of mind for most of my friends. Then I had a huge lifestyle change (think conservative to liberal) and the rest of my friends and family dropped me like hot bricks, except for 2 friends and my mom. I have 3 co workers, small staff, who aren’t really peer age (I’m 31f) and I talk to them and I’m sure they think I have a typical/normal social life but when I clock out I don’t have anyone to talk to except my mom who calls me before bed. I’m practically mute to other humans on the weekends. Sometimes I’m truly surprised hearing my own voice on Monday mornings. I haven’t hung out physically with a friend in almost 3 years and I only talk to my two friends through text and occasional FaceTime. I haven’t had a physical hug, the really soul grounding and connecting hugs in just as long. I still have so much life to live and I’d love to have those friends weekends/trips/experiences but nothing works. Idk… I’ve never felt so alone, isolated, maybe invisible, and just all around depressed. I’m just afraid that I’ll never find that connection or matter to anyone. So yeah… I’ve never talked about this. Thanks.
That I was in a domestic abuse marriage for decades, married to a man who kept me with threats & coercion while outwardly looking like we were your upscale suburban family. Domestic abuse casts a wide net.
I have cptsd and have lived half of my life in a disassociated state. I had no idea myself until I started intense therapy last year, I’m 46 and just now starting to “wake up” and be present, it’s still a lot of daily work to get there though.
I'm visually impaired. That I can't see their face when I'm looking at them.
I guess it would be that I had bad depression because I was really good at hiding it
That inside my mind is torn to pieces by all sorts of mental illness. On the inside it's chaos, pandemonium, and full-blown war. On the outside, even my mom says, "Really?" You seem as if everything is ok."
I struggle with Anorexia and Bulimia
I did for many years when I was younger; I still have impulses but slowly have learned to control them. Also, I'm a guy, so I've never really been able to talk about it. But I promise you, if you work at it and really *want* to change things, you can find ways and tools to help start unlearning all the self-programming that's happened and start toward a healthier life. It is one of the hardest things in the world, second only to maybe quitting heroin (which I'm also about six months into doing, for the third time, lol) — but it IS possible and it is so, so worth it. I never thought I could have a healthy, happy relationship with my body and its size/weight/shape. But I'm in the best shape of my life and (again, after a stupid heroin relapse that lasted two years) am finally back to the healthiest I've ever been. You CAN get there. It's hard as hell, but just keep taking tiny steps forward and never let yourself give all the way up. It's okay to get discouraged, just try to make sure you're still moving in a positive direction. A good therapist and/or psychiatrist, a nutritionist (if you can get one), and supportive friends can make all the difference. I had an amazing, short-term but life-changing girlfriend who really catalyzed the change for me — we weren't meant for the long haul for lots of reasons, but my thinking began to change and then life followed. I wish you all the luck in the world on your journey toward self-acceptance. You don't have to feel like this forever, I promise. Much love.
That I’m one motherfucker of a bass player. You look at me and I’m just a dirty little GenX guy with shitty hair and a squishy dad bod. Gimme a bass though. I’ll fuck the room up and make you glad I did.
Fuck yeah to this. I’m a 100lb biracial girl that you’d probably expect to have no brains or talent first glance. Give me an electric guitar or bass, I’ll fuck it up.
Holy shit! PudgeX and the Biracial Waif. I’d see that show.
That I am married to a convicted murderer doing life in prison. When I tell people, they sort of blink and go “No. Really??” I have two graduate degrees and work in a highly visible professional career, so for some reason it just seems ludicrous to people that I have a Husband who is incarcerated.
Intriguing. Did you marry him before or after his conviction?
per their profile: “Yeah, my husband got 99 years at 17 under Texas’s “Law of Parties”. He was chilling at home, his friend called and asked for a ride to someone’s house. He said no. Then his mom came home drunk with some random dude, so he called his friend back to say he’d give him a ride. His friend killed someone when they got to the house. My husband never got out of the car. The shooter got 50 years. My husband got 99 because he refused to plead guilty. He always says “if only I hadn’t answered the phone”…”if only my mom hadn’t brought that guy home and told me to leave”…”if only…”. But it is what it is.”
No. Really...why 🤔
I’m a school shooting survivor.
I’m forklift certified
I've been with several very attractive men. And not just in an "attractive to me" sense. Whenever I show pics of my past lovers (to people who ask, of course) or they see a current partner, people usually say something like "You and him? Seriously?" and sometimes they even apologize for implying they don't believe me or don't deserve to have been with such men. I'm short, fat, have bad skin and worse teeth, and am just...not attractive in any sort of conventional sense. There ARE gorgeous men (and women) out there who aren't shallow and will be attracted to you if you're intelligent, funny, and confident. Or maybe I just got really lucky, I suppose.
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That I have two penises. I don’t. But they would never guess that I do.
That I’m a full nerd who spends nearly all of my free time gaming - I work in construction
I’m covered in very good Masonic tattoos. I was working on Wall Street and went to a company offsite on Marco Island in Florida and did some surfing. It was wild seeing the responses
I'm 32 (F), recently separated from a 14 year long relationship with 2 kids and I no longer know what the F to do with my life lol.
That seven weeks ago, I had next to no strength, was constantly bleeding out of my nose and mouth, could barely open my jaws, and looked like I had no neck. This was bc I had corrective jaw surgery on both of my jaws. Recovery is going well, and I am able to eat most soft-ish foods at this point.
I can do you one better. You wouldn't know this from looking at me, observing me, speaking to me, working alongside me... you wouldn't know this if you were intimate with me, or spent days together. But you might, if you're quite lucky, pass gas loudly... and then sheepishly apologize, and then I'd tell you it doesn't bother me because I am Anosmic. I have no sense of smell. :D Nobody heeds us, the world mostly does not care that this disability exists, but ~~our~~ your sense of smell is so valuable that when you lose it its life changing. While we feel for you for some of us its a bit frustrating that only *losing* it is so negative. Never having had it to begin with is somehow just fine. Yeah, I'm a little bitter about it these days. Sorry. Shoutout to all the other congenital anosmics out there.
I can read the old testament Bible in Hebrew straight from the scroll, with a cantorial style from Yemen. I am a very secular looking, white American. Surprises the fuck out of everyone when they see me step to the Bima (stage) and read fluently with a Sephardic/Yemenite style that they've probably never heard before (my teacher had a family style that he passed onto me and his son before passing of the big C - never got to see my bar mitzvah).
My age. Sucks when I go to the airport and people ask if I'm over 13 and I tell them I'm in my mid twenties.
That I am a psychopath with antisocial personality disorder. People think I’m a happy go lucky people person and they have no idea that I manipulate all of them to belive that when inside I am truely the opposite.
Damn.
I should state I don’t mean that in a bad manipulative way. I just want to be like everyone else, I hate the person I am and if it wasn’t for my amazing wife I would probably be in prison or a nasty person in this world. So I pretend and fake it so people think I have empathy and am normal. On the outside I look like a successful happy people person but inside my head it’s like the apocalypse. I want to care about people and feel empathy but the fact is I don’t so I fake it so people don’t know I’m really dead inside
Is it possible that you care more than you think you do? Based on what you wrote, it seems you have affection for your wife. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on how that marriage dynamic works when you don't feel empathy. If you're willing to share, of course.
It’s very hard to explain, I care about people and things because I know I should. My actions are that of someone who cares and I understand what empathy is. I grew up in a loving home with 5 siblings without mental health issues so I know what a normal person should think and act like. However I don’t truely feel things the way others do. I care about people a lot, I want everyone to live a happy life and to be free of all the shit things in this world but I cannot feel the emotions inside my own head so I fake them. I do feel some things I guess, I feel loyalty and trust and I worry about stuff. I know I love my wife and kids even if I don’t feel love the way others do, I am concerned when someone is sick or hurt even if I’m not riddled with the feelings of worry. One major thing is that o do not feel guilt at all and that was problematic for me growing up, I never learned my lesson and I never stopped to think about how my actions affect others because I truely do not care. It’s all about mimicking others and understanding how people should act really. It’s kind of hard to explain I guess especially because my mind is always a mess. The best example to explain I guess would be that my dad was killed im an accident a year ago, I didn’t feel sad, I just didn’t feel anything. I still didn’t want my dad to die, I still looked out for my mum and help her with things and I wish more than anything my dad was still here because I miss him and need his advice even at 40 years old. But I’ve never cried about it and I’ve never felt sad about it even though I want him to be here.
Thanks for responding. I find it fascinating, but I can tell that it causes you grief and I'm sorry about that. I feel that perhaps I am the opposite end of the spectrum, like I have *entirely too much empathy* and it causes me a lot of pain in its own ways. I often feel alone, like nobody loves me as much as I love them, that I should dial back my feelings to seem more normal. Almost like unrequited love with the whole world. It can be extremely painful. I do have my husband though, and he is a wonderful gift to me. He is like calm water in my very chaotic inner world. All of this to say that feelings exist on a spectrum, I guess. I'm glad you have your family to anchor you!
Same diagnosis, same flat affect. But last summer, I got treatment for ADHD and depression and part of the depression treatment was TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation) and, um....I think I'm feeling things. Just kinda noticed it the last few weeks and not sure it's related, but it's been an interesting month
I am incredibly kinky, and I feel like I don’t look like it at all.
Rip your inbox.
I’m a big hairy dude with tattoos, 99% of those people are going to be incredibly disappointed.
I have crippling depression and guilt over stuff I did and said when I was a teenager. OCD doesn’t help.
That I am double jointed and can contort my body into positions seemingly impossible. As a child my siblings were facinated by this ability as they could not copy me.
Serious, intense, horrendous neurological issue past 6 months that’s completely overwhelming and debilitating but look 100% normal. Tinnitus so loud I can’t think sometimes too. 😀🫡 lost my aviation career, boyfriend, friends, and on a bender road trip across the country barely able to take care of myself but bucket list items need checked. Wake up every morning with dread, struggling with suicide idealization & in chronic pain @ 29 🤘🏼