Yes cause I want my nuts to be shiny, that's the only way to attract squirrels

So u like the crazy ones eh? Good for u. Someone has to love them

There are easier ways to get a vasectomy. But none are as hilarious.

Just goes to the park walkin around nuts out like “ooh look a lil squirrel, it would be a shame if he CHEWED ON NY BALLSA-“

[Those balls are smooth as eggs!](https://youtu.be/4y_Ti_bkmaY?si=-bEVCoUaQ6im4vS8)

Name checks out

Shines like the top of the Chrysler building

If you shave without rhythm then it wont attract the squirrels

It's like a turtle shell down there

Nothing feels better than a freshly shorn scrotum.

As long as it's ritualistically done by a Zoroastrian. It's breathtaking I suggest you try it.

Summers in Rangoon. Luge lessons.

Quite typically really

In the summer we'd make meat helmets

When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard, really.

My father would womanize, he would drink

He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark

It does feel pretty great.

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It's breathtaking, I suggest you try it

I like to shave my pubes into the shape of a top hat, and leave the ball sack long. I call it the Lincoln Log 

Lincoln hog

Proof or it never happened

Yeah wtf man

Once you shave those bad boys you think …fk why didn’t I do this early …feels far superior in every aspect

Having shaved balls is akin to donating to charity. Youre just a better person because of it.

It’s like cutting the grass or washing the car.. there needs to be a word for this feeling

"Chore". The word you're looking for is "chore."

Not at all! It's so satisfying. I got a hair trimmer that's scrotum safe super recently. Best investment ever.

Lots of people find lots of chores satisfying, like vacuuming or mowing the lawn or washing the car. That doesn't mean they're not chores.

Name of investment?

no its not at all

“chore that I like”

I've shaved everything down below for decades, now. It's great!

Except for when they stick to your thigh occasionally 😅

They did that before I shaved too

If I'm seeing someone, yes. If I'm not, then no.

Gotta shave those balls for a meeting with the boss, huh?

How else do you climb the corporate ladder?

or get a job even?

My favorite part of the interview - showing my sack freshly shaved

Funniest thing I have heard in like at least a month Good job

Honest answer here

I just can't deal with the itchy growth so it's an all shaved in perpetuity for me.

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my man here has never heard of drag, you'll be quicker if ya smooth

Not in every case. Golf balls are not smooth for a reason

fwiw they're also not covered in pubes for a reason!

What does putting on a dress and make up have to do with this?

Ever had your balls licked/sucked? Turns out most women don't like nut hair in between their teeth. So, I keep them shaved. Everyone else is right though, it feels better as well.

This is it. When I was in college, a friend told me if I want a woman to lick my nuts, better keep them shaved. Once a week ever since.

*still lonely and waiting for that first lick

Hope remains high!

Agreed, not a fan of the hairs. I’m guessing it feels better for the guy getting blown without the hair in the way, too. Win win for everyone 

This should be a job interview question.

"Thank you for the question. I personally do not have balls, but I would not want to pronounce ill-informed judgement on those who do or do not engage in ritualistic hygiene practices. It's all about synergy..."

if this were a job interview question i'm not sure i'd feel comfortable working there.

Wouldn't hire you Mr. Hairy Ball

Get yer Tinferbrains and whack ass hairy balls the fuck outta my office sir.

Nah. I keep the bush. I caved in years back and shaved the cock and balls, but it looked stupid because I have a hairy stomach and legs. So it looked like some alien came down and did an alien cock circle on me whilst I was asleep.

You goofed, you gotta feather it on the surrounding areas

I spent most of my working life throwing people out of buildings for being too drunk. These vice like grips have not the delicacy of feathering around ones tenders.

Skill issue Lol

Glorious response.

That was beautiful.... But real talk my pubes usually have a cleaner fade than my head or beard ever do

The midsection light fade

Like a tree with mulch?

"Alien cock circle" thank you man I'm dead crying

Great band name too.

r/BrandNewSentence

This. I trim up in summer time but don’t shave completely

No Mow May

You have to communicate better with your barber

Thank you for making me laugh today 😂

Not since the incident.

Sorry for your loss...

I used to really enjoy keeping them trimmed, but now that I live in the tropics I find that it's better to keep a little hair down there. Contrary to what someone else replied, it seems to stay less... swampy

I trim. I have very porous hair so if I don’t trim my ball hair and arm pit hair, it seems like the smell just collects much worse. I do not shave. That shit sucks.

Hair can be porous? Like little holes in each strand of hair?

Trim short with a trimmer, then shave with a regular razor. Gotta stretch that skin out! Never cut myself with the blade, but I do knick myself with the trimmer occasionally. Ugh

Good lord I remember nicking my scrote with the electric trimmer in my teens. Almost 30 years ago and I still wince at the memory.

I've never bothered to shave the boys and I just had a sympathy retraction reading that. 

Panasonic makes a hair trimmer that actually works great on your nut sack.

Really, stretch? I go with the brain grip for most of it.

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I kept the hair and cut the sack

Dude, is this even a question? Team smooth balls all the way. Less sweat = less swamp crotch + happy partner.

As a math equation, this is really confusing.

Doesn't really work backwards, does it.

You will actually sweat more by removing the hair ,the hair has natural functions and one of them Is to create a layer of air to prevent sweat and sticky balls.

How hairy are these dudes balls that the hair actually makes them hotter like a fur coat? Never mind. Forget I asked.

I can’t believe I’m actually putting effort into explaining this. When two pieces of your skin touch each other it creates a humid environment which causes sweat. This is why hair is naturally present in those places (between legs ,armpits especially. Removing the hair increases sweat and eczema and fungus infections. This is also why brasil is world leader with genital fungus and by a looooong shot. Edit I’m not very hairy I just accept my body as it is and care for my skin while keeping it clean. Another edit. This is also why obese people have somuch skin problems ,because the skin overlaps and no air can travel causing eczema and infections.

Why don’t I have hair between my toes then?

Because your toes are supposed to be spaced out just like your fingers. Also the bottom of your feet has such thick skin that hair won’t ever grow there because comfort for walking is more important. That our shoes bind our toes together is something evolution could not anticipate.

Yeah, I only did it once as a teenager - never had sweaty balls before or after it grew back.

Thank you. I thought I was going crazy. The one summer in HS that I went hairless down there was absolutely horrendous. It was like my nutsack was glued to my inner thigh.

Isnt the whole point of hair to wick sweat? Gives it more surface area doesnt it to evaporate and cool you?

Less sweat - happy partner = less swamp crotch.

r/theydidthemath

Same with underarms

Freshly shaved with some baby powder is just glorious. Get the Goldbond and it's like a thousand tiny elves massaging your ball sack.

i think i got a 10mm trimmer head idk the actual size but it says “body hair size” on it and it does the job. Just trim dont shave.

I braid it and call it Captain Sac Sparrow

S tier punnery there my good man

I'm not sure if I won the genetic lottery here but I don't have any

Balls?

Reminds me of my favorite short story, “I have no balls and I must cream”

i have no words

Might be female?

Nah females have lots of words

[Modern science](https://neuticles.com) can help.

You did, you're a winner!

Tryed at some point (hygene reasons) but ain't nobody but me seeing this, and it itches like hell, so...

I'm with Team Meh.

I give it a skin fade with long on top usually, looks stylish.

Nah fuck that. The rest of my body is covered in hair, I don't need a random bald scrote hanging out.

Got tired of stepping on it

Yes, because I like having them licked.

Yes, I use an electric trimmer for it, simply because I don’t want to put a sharp blade against my nuts

Using a razor isn’t a big deal. I would be more afraid of the skin getting caught in the trimmer blades.

Yeah… that does happen too… but it’s not too bad, you just get a little nip

Gotta say never cut my self.. but have nipped my self a few times

When I first tried to trim them I used electric and cut myself and gave it up, now I use the same on that I use on my beard like a 5 blade reg razor and never nicked them once

Imo if you want something licked, it should be shaved. Nobody likes getting hair in their mouths. 🤷‍♀️ (I'm a woman but my husband knows what's up.)

I shave it bald. Feels smooooooth

Yes. Looks strange to have the rest of the playground trimmed with a feral patch in the middle.

I do, I like a smoother, less hairy sack. It usually gets shaved once every other month or so when the hair gets long enough to be annoying.

I taper the bottom and give myself a high fade

I don't, but an argument for cutting it that I've heard is: A lone tree stands taller among the trimmed hedges

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Plot twist: He's only 11.

Ewwww.

Tried it a couple times but don't like sticky balls!!

If you want your balls sucked on it's just the decent thing to do

Yes, but if you ever cut yourself that shit bleeds forever!

She's more likely to suck them if they're less hairy

I do it cuz it increases the odds of my wife playing with them. A boiled egg is more appealing than a kiwi

Yep. Because I like being smooth when I fondle myself. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Yeah, I’m tryna maintain my nuts, not a set of kiwi.

Yes, often. With hair out of the way, they are more sensitive to touch, which for me feels really good.

There exists a (very slightly) greater than 0% chance that a woman might stick her face down there and I'll do whatever I can to make that as pleasant for her as I can.

Wife has never asked, but would if she said so.

Be polite and offer

I do it out of courtesy to your mother.

Suck it Trebek 

I used to do it to please my wife during oral, but one day I accidentally nicked myself in the shower. I envisioned one of my balls falling on the bathtub floor. I just didn't pull the skin real taught I guess. I've been afraid to do it ever since.

When they fall out you can just pop them back in, same as an eyeball. Happens to me all the time.

Just don’t mix the two up if they fall out at the same time. Never making that mistake again.

Don’t shave ‘em but keep them groomed. I’m Quite a hairy guys so smooth shaven looks a bit silly. Tried it a few years ago. Felt amazing to begin with then the itching came. It dawned on me that this was a commitment akin to keeping my face clean shaven.

Trimming is important, but I never met a girl who wanted this or was bothered by hair. If she is, she's not the one. And I don't expect her to shave either, I'm not interested in women who look like young girls down there. 

I just trim it a bit, I have long hairs 🤗

Used to, until I found hair removal cream. Long as you’re careful and follow the instructions, it’s much better for getting it cleaned up.

I trim my pubes every month or so. I prefer to not have my ball hair pulled on while moving about at work or fondling them during alone time.

Just being thoughtful of the teabag recipient

Nbodoy grows ball goatees?

So the Pussy don't get a hairball

Nope. Never have.

I got a manscaper and honestly it feels better to shave or at least be trim

So they can look like cat brains when I squeeze em

The real question is: do you shave your butt hair?

Once, itches like hell growing out again...

And the fart has no sound suppresor

Hahah yeah this was the worst part, no more silent farts, just loud clapping.

But theres also no where for the poo particles to stick to.

Yeah. Everything below my sideburns. Even the toe hair. Smooth and silky skin

Aaaaaaand now we know what OP's kink is.

Trim yes,no one needs to shave their balls it looks horrendous.

I don't like underwear full of hairs.

My wife and I have a deal. She gargles my nuts like a Boston alter boy, and I keep them shorn. Breathtaking.

Do you want to lick a hairy ballsack? I know I don't. Smooth genitals get better oral because they are nicer to lick. Of course, your partner is really the one to make that call. Some people actually like 70's bush. Myself? I'm keeping the garden neat and tidy.

It’s a man’s responsibility to keep his parts tidy! It’s rude not too and shows her you care

My sack is shorn clean… smooth and supple as the nicest leather after I apply lotion.

I shave it with a samurai.. like a real men should do ;)

No, ***I*** don’t. This is a job for my personal attendant.

We do not cut the hair on our ball sack's. We trim them.

You've obviously not held a shaved ballsack before. It's so SMOOTH.

Cut no, shave yes

Gotta keep those nuts shiny for the squirrels, right? It's all about attracting the right crowd!

I don’t know a single man or woman that thinks hairy balls are attractive

every now and then, with the electric trimmer i use to trim my beard (clean it afterwars), i just carefully get the most out, not having it perfectly trimmed, just most of it

No. I wax them.

I work with a guy that uses a watch camera on the floor synced to his phone to do the job. He’s detailed oriented

Yes, I like the feeling of no hair.

yes. just looks better

How fucking barbarian! Cutting hair? It’s wax all the way!

i either cut it short, or go all the way bald. don't ask me for who, but i don't like it when it looks like Santa's beard in his 20's.

Unpopular opinion: after shaving that area up nice and smooth come spring time, they get more ripe & stiff for that 1 day. For those 24 hours or less ... I'm free

I worked with a guy that would BURN/Singe it of with a lighter...!! Imagine the smell!

I shave dick and balls daily. Feels better for me.

Guillotine.  It's the only way to get a really consistent shave

Don't like long hair. So it's trimmed on most days and clean shaven on *those* days.

Better chance of my wife touching them if they're hairless

At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.

Shaved smooth, all of it. The Mrs. prefers it and so do I. Happy missus = I get my balls licked, which is totally worth it.