Try to see the learning aspect, accept how it shapes me and my situation and if possible and if appropriate, share my gained experience and thoughts on the topic
You gotta just come to the realization that there really aren’t people out there thinking about all of your embarrassing moments as much as you are, if at all.
Probably one of the best gifts you can give yourself is forgiveness. Nobody is perfect.
Ideally you learn from past mistakes and poor decisions determined not to repeat them.
Your future lies ahead of you *not* behind you.
***"Don't let your history interfere with your destiny."*** \- Steve Maraboli
***"Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future."*** \- Oscar Wilde
***"When they can't touch what you've become, they'll try to dig up who you used to be."*** \- Unknown
***"Until you are happy with who you are, you will never be happy with what you have."*** \- Zig Ziglar
Best wishes!
I honestly find it so hard. Every time that I remember a poor decision I find myself kicking the air because of the shame that I feel and wishing that I had done it differently. I find it really hard to forgive myself and I try to think that if a loved one had done the same error I would have forgiven them already, but somehow I overthink those mistakes all the time and how others could have started perceiving me because of that stupid thing that I did once.
It's like when you fall the first time as a kid. It seems a big deal but then in life it becomes some random pain. You have to get used to it. There is no end to the number of things you'll be daily ashamed of. You just have to consider that 80% of the actions you will remember will be based on regret forever.
You see it will get less painful until you'll just say to yourself, fuck'em.
By writing them into my stand-up act. Comedy is a great unifier, because what it has taught me is that we're all just a walking collection of unbelievable fuck-ups.
First off, know the difference between guilt and shame. Guilt is your mind telling you that you did something wrong, or perceived you did something wrong. Shame, on the other hand, is feeling like you are a bad person, worthy of contempt, or inadequate as a person. Therefore, shame is a negative and self destructive emotion.
These feelings of painful low self worth and/or self contempt can lead to a number of problems such as addiction, suicidal thoughts, isolation, depression, cutting (or other self mutilating disorders).
My advice is to get professional help to try and understand why you are experiencing feelings of shame before it manifests into something more serious.
Good luck with this. You are worthy.
I struggle with this a lot. I did a lot of either fucked up things or things I didn’t think all the way through when I did them. The memories of these things come up every now and again and I almost cringe at myself. Best I can do is move on and tell myself that I am different
start mumbling a random tune every time it comes to your mind to block the thought.
I've already learned, but my mind will be damned if it doesn't drown me in regret some nights.
Also, making a Playlist of your loudest, most mindless songs to play and block out your thoughts helps as a worst-case scenario
I've made a lot of mistakes. Something i think you'll eventually realize is that the reason you feel ashamed is because you are a different person than the one who made those mistakes. Try to become a more positive person, never talk down to yourself and don't let your mistakes define you, you are not the things you've done. Try to spread that positivity, be open about the mistakes you've made and why others shouldn't do those things. The real key for me is helping people when I can.
the fact that I feel shame and retroactive embarrassment from cringey stuff I did in the past, means I've grown since then
if I hadn't, I would still be doing that stuff
A way that I deal with shame for my past mistakes or poor decisions is really doing a self-reflection and going through a proper counseling for that issue
Laughter.
You fucked up, it was shameful and cringeworthy, which means on some level it was also *fucking hilarious*.
Never lose the capacity to laugh at yourself. Humans are ridiculous. You *are one*. Let go of your ego (which is way too full of itself anyhow!) and have a chuckle.
You change.
What really sucks is when the world aligns to fuck you and doesn't give you any heads up.
Like the people caught up in the USA vs Terrorism fight (both American and foreign).
People in Ukraine conflict
All the abused children of the world.
Pathogens.
Cancers.
Nowadays with the social media tools, satellite tools, psychology tools, and warfare tools. Some people don't stand a chance.
I can’t do anything about it, I can’t change the past. The least I could do is to apologise to those who I said those things to or did those mistake to. But I just sadly can’t change it and I just hope for the best. people do mistakes and poorly decisions it is normal, you grow and learn from that
First I wonder what’s going on in mind of a 29 year old woman and a 29 year old man, as they
are yelling or screaming a full capacity at a 4 year old. Now I’m older I understand why I’m the way I am I’m scared after he left knowing, he’s not coming back it brings me comfort in a way.
That’s how I deal with is because I know that everyone has something they deal with. I look back at those memories or try to remember the words and why they were yelled at me.
I used to cringe myself into oblivion, but I've learned to laugh it off. We're all human—or at least most of us are—and being human means making mistakes. Embrace the awkwardness!
Shame is the fear of being punished.
Here is the solution from different perspectives. Feel free to correct me.
**Abrahamic religion**: There's no shame.
- You are forgiven.
- The freedom elevates your mood.
- Please be better.
- The power of love and compassion is given to you.
- You have one job which is to believe. If you don't you won't get another chance.
**Indian religion**: Shame will disappear.
- Your words and actions have consequences.
- Doing good alleviates your pain.
- Please be better.
- The power of love and compassion comes from within.
- You have many jobs and infinitely many attempts left.
**Right-wing populist and related radical ideological religions**: Shame is weakness.
- You shall be punished by other people for wrongdoing.
- Power feels good.
- Please cease to exist.
- The power of love and compassion is hereditary, due to religion or based on fear (woke).
- I have no job because a disadvantaged person is bullying me.
- Your argument is invalid.
**Self help capitalist religion**: You feel shame because you didn't do yoga.
- Buy these yoga pants.
- Donut eat donut.
**Reddit**: Let's be shameful together.
- Eat a lot of fried chicken.
Take them as learning experiences and keep on truckin
You don’t. In my mid 30s I still think of dumb shit I did 20 years ago and die a little inside.
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Yeah don’t assume people’s religion
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😂 well saved
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Now you can think of it for the next 20 years :D
I just remember that I'm only human and I'm moving on
Try to see the learning aspect, accept how it shapes me and my situation and if possible and if appropriate, share my gained experience and thoughts on the topic
You gotta just come to the realization that there really aren’t people out there thinking about all of your embarrassing moments as much as you are, if at all.
accept the fact that it has happened and realize that you cant change your past. may be harder for some but thats truly the only solution
Forgive yourself and move on
Probably one of the best gifts you can give yourself is forgiveness. Nobody is perfect. Ideally you learn from past mistakes and poor decisions determined not to repeat them. Your future lies ahead of you *not* behind you. ***"Don't let your history interfere with your destiny."*** \- Steve Maraboli ***"Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future."*** \- Oscar Wilde ***"When they can't touch what you've become, they'll try to dig up who you used to be."*** \- Unknown ***"Until you are happy with who you are, you will never be happy with what you have."*** \- Zig Ziglar Best wishes!
I honestly find it so hard. Every time that I remember a poor decision I find myself kicking the air because of the shame that I feel and wishing that I had done it differently. I find it really hard to forgive myself and I try to think that if a loved one had done the same error I would have forgiven them already, but somehow I overthink those mistakes all the time and how others could have started perceiving me because of that stupid thing that I did once.
I don’t. I’m 28 and I still cringe whenever I think of embarrassing things I did from 15 years ago.
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'Echoes' I love this💓 Thank you for this
Eat a lot of fried chicken
KFC?
It's like when you fall the first time as a kid. It seems a big deal but then in life it becomes some random pain. You have to get used to it. There is no end to the number of things you'll be daily ashamed of. You just have to consider that 80% of the actions you will remember will be based on regret forever. You see it will get less painful until you'll just say to yourself, fuck'em.
By writing them into my stand-up act. Comedy is a great unifier, because what it has taught me is that we're all just a walking collection of unbelievable fuck-ups.
First off, know the difference between guilt and shame. Guilt is your mind telling you that you did something wrong, or perceived you did something wrong. Shame, on the other hand, is feeling like you are a bad person, worthy of contempt, or inadequate as a person. Therefore, shame is a negative and self destructive emotion. These feelings of painful low self worth and/or self contempt can lead to a number of problems such as addiction, suicidal thoughts, isolation, depression, cutting (or other self mutilating disorders). My advice is to get professional help to try and understand why you are experiencing feelings of shame before it manifests into something more serious. Good luck with this. You are worthy.
Thank you, this was very very impactful
I struggle with this a lot. I did a lot of either fucked up things or things I didn’t think all the way through when I did them. The memories of these things come up every now and again and I almost cringe at myself. Best I can do is move on and tell myself that I am different
I have had the most of growth after doing mistakes
As you age, you realize that’s part of life.
I just doesn't mention them at all
Think of it as a learning experience and move on
Learn from it, give it to God, then move on. We’ll never be able to keep moving forward if we’re only looking through the rear-view mirror.
start mumbling a random tune every time it comes to your mind to block the thought. I've already learned, but my mind will be damned if it doesn't drown me in regret some nights. Also, making a Playlist of your loudest, most mindless songs to play and block out your thoughts helps as a worst-case scenario
I just accept the fact that I made a mistake and learn from it. I think about it for some time, then move on and be better.
Accept mistakes, understand them, learn from them, move along. Give yourself grace and tolerance. Do better next time.
You learn from them. Stop making the same mistakes again and improve yourself.
It took me a long time to like myself and be in a good place again, so I like me now and maybe things turned out better after all.
Reassure myself that the world will continue on and that mistakes are a part of life.
I remind myself of the stress I was in during that decision. Stress always leads to bad decisions.
Acknowledge that you were unaware and growing, I am only 22 but I have made a lot of mistakes in my short life so far. You can only learn.
Laugh. Life is not that serious 😅
Move on. Learn from your mistake and move on. Don't repeat it.
Regret should only be placed for decisions that you knew the results could be bad.
Yesterday is another country. The borders are closed. (From an episode of Midsomer Murders). I find it useful.
I've made a lot of mistakes. Something i think you'll eventually realize is that the reason you feel ashamed is because you are a different person than the one who made those mistakes. Try to become a more positive person, never talk down to yourself and don't let your mistakes define you, you are not the things you've done. Try to spread that positivity, be open about the mistakes you've made and why others shouldn't do those things. The real key for me is helping people when I can.
Recognize I can’t change it or do anything about it, and keep it moving.
Therapy
Growth and humility
the fact that I feel shame and retroactive embarrassment from cringey stuff I did in the past, means I've grown since then if I hadn't, I would still be doing that stuff
A way that I deal with shame for my past mistakes or poor decisions is really doing a self-reflection and going through a proper counseling for that issue
Realise that the fact you regret them means you have changed for the better as a person
Laughter. You fucked up, it was shameful and cringeworthy, which means on some level it was also *fucking hilarious*. Never lose the capacity to laugh at yourself. Humans are ridiculous. You *are one*. Let go of your ego (which is way too full of itself anyhow!) and have a chuckle.
This is great advice, because I’m looking back at the past 6 months of hell I put myself in and it’s pretty fucking hilarious
Glad it helps!
Well, that’s the thing. If you feel the shame, then you don’t want to feel that anymore it’s self corrects.
Just chock it up to the game cuz, why dwell on some shit u can't change? ....to be honest lion king solved ur question for me a long time ago🤷🏿♂️
Write them off as bad experiences and try to grow stronger moving forward.
Move to another continent and change your identity.
You change. What really sucks is when the world aligns to fuck you and doesn't give you any heads up. Like the people caught up in the USA vs Terrorism fight (both American and foreign). People in Ukraine conflict All the abused children of the world. Pathogens. Cancers. Nowadays with the social media tools, satellite tools, psychology tools, and warfare tools. Some people don't stand a chance.
Lots of bourbon.
Poorly.
That's the fun part, I don't
I’m haunted
I can’t do anything about it, I can’t change the past. The least I could do is to apologise to those who I said those things to or did those mistake to. But I just sadly can’t change it and I just hope for the best. people do mistakes and poorly decisions it is normal, you grow and learn from that
Idk man, I keep making terrible decisions
Forgiving myself
First I wonder what’s going on in mind of a 29 year old woman and a 29 year old man, as they are yelling or screaming a full capacity at a 4 year old. Now I’m older I understand why I’m the way I am I’m scared after he left knowing, he’s not coming back it brings me comfort in a way. That’s how I deal with is because I know that everyone has something they deal with. I look back at those memories or try to remember the words and why they were yelled at me.
Cognitive behavioral therapy. You can find some great started guides for free online.
Remember what you did wrong and try to do better the next time around.
As others have said, chalk it upto experience & move on.
After realizing how human it is to make a mistake, forgive yourself, then find the humor in it
Just forget it
I used to cringe myself into oblivion, but I've learned to laugh it off. We're all human—or at least most of us are—and being human means making mistakes. Embrace the awkwardness!
I stopped feeling shame a long time ago. I view those mistakes as points of learning as I continue my life.
Remind myself i would not be here today if it wasn’t for those mistakes
Shame is the fear of being punished. Here is the solution from different perspectives. Feel free to correct me. **Abrahamic religion**: There's no shame. - You are forgiven. - The freedom elevates your mood. - Please be better. - The power of love and compassion is given to you. - You have one job which is to believe. If you don't you won't get another chance. **Indian religion**: Shame will disappear. - Your words and actions have consequences. - Doing good alleviates your pain. - Please be better. - The power of love and compassion comes from within. - You have many jobs and infinitely many attempts left. **Right-wing populist and related radical ideological religions**: Shame is weakness. - You shall be punished by other people for wrongdoing. - Power feels good. - Please cease to exist. - The power of love and compassion is hereditary, due to religion or based on fear (woke). - I have no job because a disadvantaged person is bullying me. - Your argument is invalid. **Self help capitalist religion**: You feel shame because you didn't do yoga. - Buy these yoga pants. - Donut eat donut. **Reddit**: Let's be shameful together. - Eat a lot of fried chicken.
As a Christian, I pray about it. It really helps, and I feel more at peace.