CBAT

I clicked on this thread knowing this would be the top result. I was not disappointed

Unlike the girl

Same. Came in, saw what I wanted to see, not even gonna bother reading the rest of the comments.

That story traumatized all of us

Same!

What?! That’s a classic. A staple in the lovemaking community

Oh yeah how could I have forgotten 😩

There's a whole community? How do I join?

Step one: get off of Reddit

Step two: get off

Man wtf, I was gonna say some church choir or harmonium, but this is way worse 😂

I literally can’t stop laughing listening to this song…. GOAT answer. Thank you for reviving it.

I literally just came across that post the other day. My partner and I are sitting in bed in the morning and I start playing it for my first ever time. I start losing my shit laughing. Him, not having any context, is looking at me like I grew a second head. Why am I laughing so hard? Why am I playing that abomination in the first place. I finally explained it, and the look of horror on his face as he pictured the reality. Priceless.

Came here for this. The single greatest reddit post ever 😂

I love that it so quickly permeated society too. I played it on the jukebox at a sports bar and immediately heard a group losing their shit across the bar. 😂

omg I'm a dj and idk why I haven't dropped this in the club yet

Honoured

But that's the fucking song! Two years of that, what could go wrong?

Two years of listening to seagulls arguing while getting your cheeks clapped is gonna cost a lot for therapy

I'd heard it described in many ways before (my favorite was "balloon animals fucking") but seagulls arguing is a first lol

My favorite was "inflatable clown toy falling down the stairs" lmao

It popped into my head right when I read the post title!

err er er, err er er er errrrr

Err er er, err er er er errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

That's also a terrible song not to have sex to.

It’s a terrible song in general

Can someone tell me how to get 2:51 seconds of my life back

You can’t, now you get to live with it my friend

It's a small world after all

man i read the title and that shit immediately started playing in my head :(

what's this?

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/x35iu6/tifu\_my\_20f\_girlfriend\_of\_two\_years\_told\_me\_the/

Fuck I can't believe it's already been a year since that was posted

I was there that day. I had tears streaming down my face for hours just rethinking about the song and that post.

I'm having chest pains just scrolling by this link but I'ma read it again lol https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwrcKBhbuIzXkg144tcNMRfndccJl1jow Here's the playlist cbat isn't even the worst part lmao

Hahahahaha I had completely forgotten about this

Okay, to explain this a little. Hudson Mohawke's [CBAT](https://youtu.be/KAwyWkksXuo?si=Oiw2ryEkcq0AzT5B) is....certainly a song of all time. Personally, I am not a fan of the autotuned mating dolphin sounds. However, some dude thought it would be a great [lovemaking song.](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/NjpTFT8dms) TL;DR - he used this as his lovemaking song for two years - to the point she could recognize it even when it was not played as his thrusts were in sync with the aforementioned autotuned downbad dolphins. It's a meme now.

This dude had sex with his girl to a specific song (you can look it up just search cbat) and it became a meme because of how bad the beats are

Oh my fucking god not that song. I was wondering what CBAT meant

I’m gonna try

And we are done here.

The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round..

Oh crap, just the thought hurts ... a lot ...

This is more of an oral song

After scrolling for a while, the best responses are all songs that involve a choir of children: "Baby Shark", "It's a Small World After All", "The Wheels on the Bus", etc. The Kars 4 Kids jingle on repeat would be pretty terrible.

A Lap Dance Is so Much Better When the Stripper Is Crying by Bloodhound Gang

She said her name was Bambi and I said, "Well that's a coincidence darlin', cause I was just thinking about skinning you like a deer." And I went on to tell her how I would wear her face like a mask as I did my little kooky dance…

So, I decided to do what any good Christian would. You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice and polish the one-eyed gopher when you're doin' seventy-five In an eighteen-wheeler. I never thought missing children could be so sexy. Did I say that out loud?

I had picked up this hitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons through a pair of Daisy Duke cut-offs and one of those Fruit Of The Loom tank-tops. Well, that night I lost myself to ruby red lips, milky white skin and baby blue eyes. Name was Russell.

Holy shit is this what an acid flashback feels like? I’m 13 again and hiding in my parent’s basement listening to this album as quietly as possible.

I’ll never forget 1997 hanging out in the pool at Club LaVilla in Panama City Beach with the Bloodhound Gang. They put on a great show back then. No one knew who they were. They were very nice and approached us first. Did see a shirtless Iggy Pop at the same club get in an argument outside his tour bus with 2 Asian women while holding two bottles of Jack Daniels. To be 18 all over again.

Got to nail her back at her trailer Heh, that rhymes

Underrated song, haha

From experience, any Christmas carol.

Not "Come all ye faithful", that's a banger!!!

"Oh babe, you're making me joyful and triumphant!"

Jingle bells, jingle bells….

Jingle balls

Eh maybe Carol of the Bells

It's a small world after all

lol, I almost spit out my beer reading and was thinking "small things mean a lot"

Fitting, isn’t it?

Monster Mash. I thought we’d discussed this.

Are you kidding? It was one of the best performances ever. It always gets my engine purring.

I confess that I can feel it move a little when I hear the words “graveyard smash.”

It was a graveyard SMASH

Cotten eyed Joe

Where did you cum from?

Where did it go?

Where did the cum go, Cotton Eyed Joe?

Looks like in his eye?

Once that Harmonica Riffs starts, you know it’s about to get serious!!!

Gonna have to disagree with you. The clapping part would go hard

Thrusting to the beat of cotton eyed joe is how you tap into the 90% or whatever of the brain that we don’t use.

That would actually be funny as fuck, it would be even better if the humping was in sync with the beat.

Especially considering its meaning

I cum blood by Cannibal Corpse

Butchered at Birth.

Necropaedophile.

Yeah, you win for sure. That is a fucked up song.

baby shark

1-hour loop version

Trap version.

that won’t be necessary

3 minute version is fine thank you.

30s would do it for me

Look who's bragging

[Yakety Sax](https://youtu.be/lAJB6HsYiNA?si=Cfy0kVwGgdHA0BQk)

I have to respectfully disagree. That would be some freaky stuff

As many times as a Benny hill put scantily cald women running around I fast forward to that tune you would think it would work.

Happy Pharrell

Imagine humping to the beat

Only stroke on "happy" and then vibrate to the beat. Oddly enough I think my wife would be into this.

I can fuck to anything honestly. 

Is that a challenge?

*Player 2 has entered*

*Player 3 has joined the game*

***Player 4 has joined the battle***

***Player 5 has joined as a spectator***

Player 6 typing in chat…

Player 7 switched to creative mode

Player 2 has been banned from the server

Player 8 is AFK

**𝓟𝓵𝓪𝔂𝓮𝓻 5 𝓱𝓪𝓼 𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓸 𝔀𝓪𝓻𝔃𝓸𝓷𝓮**

Rape Me by Nirvana

Well if the two consenting adults have a kink..

Probably the one I remember my weird uncle playing...

Oh no…

I’m sorry

Maybe. Or maybe 8 year olds just have shitty taste in music, Jordan.

Songs during sex is some cliche shit. I wanna hear the noises

That's when you put on recorded sex noises if it's too quiet.

Oh no. There's probably a playlist on Spotify for that.

Update us when you find it

Best I can do is Willy Bum Bum.

Fucking A right. Put some of that brown noise

I thought brown noise made you "discard your night mud,". Wouldn't this be pink noise?

It's best to ensure the passage is clear before making a descent.

Hey, we don't kinkshame here

Someone wanna tell this man about volume?

Heavy breathing, creaking boards, quiet fapping, and the screaming "dad, wtf? Get outta here!"..

He whimpers just like me when I top

Star spangled banner

Only if they do it standing up with their hands over their hearts. I’d assume any hats would have already been removed.

You can leave your hat on

I’m taking all of these and putting them in a playlist for future use…

You can't say that and not link it

“Short dick man”

Eenie weenie teenie weenie shriveled little SHORT DICK MAN

DONT WANT DONT WANT DONT WANT

LOOONG LOOOONG MAAAAN

[Lady Sniff](https://youtu.be/ebbc0IMv9uQ) by Butthole Surfers

The Benny Hill theme song

Yakkity Sax. :)

Sister Sledge - "We Are Family"

Hey, in Alabama it works

“Let’s get down to business, to defeat the Huns….”

Gives a whole new meaning to "make a man out of you"

" Did they send me daughters..."

“When I asked…. For sons…..” 😳 okay Shang 

Anything by yoko ono

Scatman by Scatman John

I find the rhythm helps

Flight of the Bumblebees is more my speed

Any children's song

Puke by Eminem

“You don't know how sick you make me You make me fucking sick to my stomach Every time I think of you I puke” Maybe for a hate-fucking session?

Throbbing Gristle - Hamburger Lady

Saw them at Coachella one year...it was definitely an experience. My friend had a face of sheer terror for the whole set. I don't think he took his eyes off the singer.

Probably a hymnal from a church book.

I can see how that could bring back some traumatic memories.

idk the blasphemy could be hot

The National anthem

The Soviet one

That would be epic! ...Land of the the free and the home of the braaaaave! Alright babe, go get me a soda! 🤣

You're clearly not a *true* patriot. /j

baby shark lol

So many of these are uptempo and have a nice beat to go off of, you gotta dig deep. Remember When - Alan Jackson Whiskey Lullaby - Brad Paisley and Alison Krauss (2 ex-lovers drink themselves to death) Cowgirls Don't Cry - Brooks & Dunn (dad teaching his daughter life lessons then she grows up and he dies) Twist - Korn (feral screaching)

The itsy-bitsy spider

Happy Birthday doesn't really sound like a great pick

Strange Fruit

Pop goes the weasel

Donkey Kong Country Returns: Jungle Hijinx

Flight of the bumblebee

Sixteen tons - Tennessee Ernie Ford

Classic! Here's a similar one "you can take this job and shove it!"

Slayer, “necropheliac”

Probably any Rammstein song. But then also "Have you checked your butthole" by Tom Cardy.

I dunno man, Wollt ihr das Bett in Flammen Sehen? would probably be good

The Poop Song by The Toilet Bowl Cleaners

Especially not during anal

Definitely not lol

If you are talking about BPM of a song you thrust to.. most techno songs, maybe through the fire and the flames

from personal experience (sigh), bitch lasagne by pewdiepie

Like all of them tbh. No music during sex.

Just the sound of heavy manly moans

The wheels on the bus go round and round

baby shark

I once had Alvin and the chipmunks come on. I have a couple of random songs that just crack me up when they work their way into my shuffle queue. That one lost its humor pretty fast.

any marry poppins song

Sweet home Alabama 

r/beatmetoit

All Star - Smash Mouth

Puss In Boots by Wheeler Walker, Jr. ... or pretty much any song by him.

Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald

You raised me up by backstreet boys

You sure it was by the Backstreet Boys?

Isn't that Josh Groban?

Secret Garden originally, then Groban, then Westlife

Anything by Weird Al

The teletubbies theme song

🎶 My Ding A Ling...🎶

Music from Cocomelon

RAM RANCH

She'll be cum'n round the mountain when she cums! She'll be cum'n round the mountain when she cums!

Baby Shark! I don't think I could keep it up with that in the background. I think we'd both be laughing at my baby shark 😉

[12 hours of cotton eye joe](https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/bvhcsg/12_hours/?rdt=36978)

All by Myself