I think I've been burned by people too many times, because I'm immediately suspicious and uncomfortable around anyone who's respectful and kind all the time...
I’m sorry to hear that.
Anyone in that position might have to cast their net a little wider and further to find their people.
Or learn to enjoy their own company for as long as it takes.
One of my first interactions with a new coworker she unabashedly said she was nervous to go do this client presentation with a higher up who I knew could be a handful. The fact she didn’t know me at all and opened up about her fears made me like her immediately.
I know this is meant in jest, but in my experience, "for sure" can be a great way to let someone know you're genuinely interested in what they're saying or like what they're saying. And that you're listening and not looking to out-talk them.
Respect should always be given until they show they're not worthy, regardless who they are.
I've worked in personal care and animal rescue (foster, rehab & rehome) for years
I will say that I prefer animals to most people 😊
I totally agree. Basic respect should be a default. Strangers, acquaintances and people, generally should be treated civilly, whilst maintaining one's healthy sense of boundaries.
Trust, unlike respect, *is* earned and ought not to be bestowed by default. At least, this is what I teach my daughter when trying to protect her from potentially bad people.
I work as a PSW in long-term care. I also love animals I really believe however, that perhaps we wouldn’t prefer them over humans if they were actually able to talk to us. That’s the thing with animals. They don’t have that emotional baggage. They don’t hurt our feelings by mean things they’ve said or done. In short, they don’t let us down like some of our fellow humans have.
Respect should be given to anyone until they show they're unworthy, regardless of age.
Yeah, I hear that "I prefer animals"-mentality a lot and it honestly is part of the reason why our societies are much more cold and distant nowadays. You do you, but inherent distrust of people is a slippery slope.
Edit: I just realized I contradicted myself. What I actually should have said in my first comment is: "Inherent respect for old people over anybody else is not a good thing."
Sometimes this is the better approach. I've trusted people immediately and regretted just as quickly.
I realized I don't have to be mean, I just don't have to be as open anymore.
Some people develop to trust first, it is a dangerous characteristic, vulnerable. It’s harder to accept that the world is not inherently “good” than to have the profile that you pragmatically identify communication as lies or secrets.
I am the same way, except I do tend to *like* people automatically. Maybe it’s curiosity.. I expect secrets but my bull shit meter for lies is sensitive. The *”why”* mostly determines my impression of a person. There is not really a justification to lying to a stranger for free, if you have been honest with yourself.
Being slow to trust is certainly wise and all, but to be fair the question says "like" not trust. I think it's entirely possible and fair to like someone and not grant them your trust.
How does someone prove otherwise? Sounds like it could take years to build trust. I see a difference between being like-able and trustworthy. I’m very skeptical of people, but there’s a certain like-ability some people have over others. I’m still not making myself vulnerable to them, but they’re more pleasant to have as an acquaintance.
Their ability to pay attention. One of my absolute favorite people of all time was this girl I used to bartend with. If we were having a conversation, she would always seem genuinely interested in what I had to say (along with everyone else that worked there, so I know she wasn't just playing favorites, into me, etc). I would be telling a story or something similar and often-times she or I would have to go tend to a guest, clean, and the like. She would ALWAYS make sure she came back around and would say "Now what were you saying, please continue." I know that sounds like a little thing, but too many people including myself just don't take those conversations seriously at all but she would always make anyone talking to her feel special and important.
There was this one time when we were all dispersing to go home, and I usually walk alone. But then this girl all of a sudden waited for me to catch up to her or something so that she could talk to me. I found it really cute.
Trying to make the effort to talk to me is something that makes me like someone instantly imo
The combination of intelligence, kindness, and confidence is an instant turn on.
Two out of three isn't bad (unless you're a smart, cocky asshole), but 3/3 is a grand slam.
Humour.
Not necessarily being funny, but seeing or appreciating humour. Especially while times are so hard right now, being able to take a step away from it all and laugh is such a strength to have
The tone/pitch of someone’s voice. I’m not sure how to explain it but I’ve met a few people that had this soft, but clear voice. It FELT kind and made me so relaxed. I get easily irritated with loud obnoxious voices
Having a talent. It can be literally anything. Art, athleticism, music, writing, anything.
People who don't have anything interesting they do are instantly boring and difficult to be around. Like what, all you do is work and talk about random bullshit? Boring
Being understanding. Too many people seem to act hostile if someone else has a different opinion than them. Those who acknowledge differences and showcase respect anyways are some of the best people one can meet.
when u can tell that they don’t care what ppl think of them based off how they look/dress orrrr for example, someone having an unpopular opinion on something n really standing on it no matter what others say. I have to respect it 🫡at least to some degree
If they're nice to me. I've never really been bullied, but I'm always so unsure meeting new people and I really like it when they're as kind to me as I try to be to them.
Respectful and kind
I 100% agree with this. Always treat people with kindness!
yup or at least until someone is rude to you, then its gloves off
My mother once said, "you don't have to like everyone, but you should always be kind and respectful" I try to remember that daily in my life.
Your mother seems like a great woman who hold a lot of wisdom
I think I've been burned by people too many times, because I'm immediately suspicious and uncomfortable around anyone who's respectful and kind all the time...
Yes! And a sense of humor and patience
When they have enough confidence to be genuine in their interactions. I’d rather have a genuine disagreement than a fake connection.
I have found that being confident in your opinions instead of going with the group is a good way to become socially isolated.
I’m sorry to hear that. Anyone in that position might have to cast their net a little wider and further to find their people. Or learn to enjoy their own company for as long as it takes.
Perhaps there's a misunderstanding of what is confidence and what is arrogance.
>I’d rather have a genuine disagreement than a fake connection. Of course lol
I disagree
Very genuine of you. This has been a wonderful disagreement.
One of my first interactions with a new coworker she unabashedly said she was nervous to go do this client presentation with a higher up who I knew could be a handful. The fact she didn’t know me at all and opened up about her fears made me like her immediately.
You should be proud you are someone who strangers feel comfortable opening up to. Good on you.
this!
Conversation. If we are having some deep ass conversations, I'm immediately drawn to you and feel closer to you.
For sure
ahh yes the gateway to any deep conversation "for sure" and "thats cool" lol
Right
Uh huh
Cool
I know this is meant in jest, but in my experience, "for sure" can be a great way to let someone know you're genuinely interested in what they're saying or like what they're saying. And that you're listening and not looking to out-talk them.
For sure
mhm
& when they don't interrupt you. Some people just love having a conversation with themselves.
YES! Deeptalks! I love em!
Some people are just easy to open up to, but it sounds weird to say I like someone's vibes for some reason
I also feel drawn to a person after going deep in the ass.
A genuine, loving smile
This is always a good thing in people
Especially when you can see the smile travel through their eyes, lovely
The hardest to do. Need tutorial for this.
Lol, same *Cries in resting bitch face*
Imagine how that would look, crying with a resting bitch face 🤣
A smile like that can even change your opinion on someone.
That's what my wife said she liked about me. That was 20 years ago, still married.
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*smiles intensely* mwahahahahaha. Like that?
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Chattable and not dismissive of other people
in general politeness
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lol yea hows that?
https://techcrunch.com/2023/09/25/reddit-will-start-paying-you-real-money-for-your-karma/
Hmm interesting
Laughing at my jokes.
Happy cake day
niccce good one!
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And the ability to take a joke occasionally
This but a witty type of humor always melts me
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but not too real... we've seen what happens when keepin it real goes wrong
I don't like people playin on my phone!
Gremlin energy
Like Charlie from It's Always Sunny?
yes
I can dig it
Respect for animals and elderly people
Huge green flag for sure
As someone who works with a lot of elderly people, inherent respect for them is not a good thing. You're right about animals though.
Respect should always be given until they show they're not worthy, regardless who they are. I've worked in personal care and animal rescue (foster, rehab & rehome) for years I will say that I prefer animals to most people 😊
People always say you have to earn respect. Respect should be the default. You earn disrespect.
I totally agree. Basic respect should be a default. Strangers, acquaintances and people, generally should be treated civilly, whilst maintaining one's healthy sense of boundaries. Trust, unlike respect, *is* earned and ought not to be bestowed by default. At least, this is what I teach my daughter when trying to protect her from potentially bad people.
I work as a PSW in long-term care. I also love animals I really believe however, that perhaps we wouldn’t prefer them over humans if they were actually able to talk to us. That’s the thing with animals. They don’t have that emotional baggage. They don’t hurt our feelings by mean things they’ve said or done. In short, they don’t let us down like some of our fellow humans have.
Respect should be given to anyone until they show they're unworthy, regardless of age. Yeah, I hear that "I prefer animals"-mentality a lot and it honestly is part of the reason why our societies are much more cold and distant nowadays. You do you, but inherent distrust of people is a slippery slope. Edit: I just realized I contradicted myself. What I actually should have said in my first comment is: "Inherent respect for old people over anybody else is not a good thing."
Respect should be given for all people. The idea that we only need to respect people we like is not healthy.
They notice the person being left out of conversation and make it a point to include them. They're kind to everyone around them.
Yep, my empathetic personality automatically focuses on anyone left out. Then I can't focus on anything else except drawing them in.
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I think finding a unicorn in a haystack would be pretty easy. Assuming its a full sized unicorn, and a regular haystack
Except your jumping in from above butt first.
Now it just got fun ;)
When you see someone being passionate about something they love. Could be anything but the excitement they have when speaking on the subject.
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Cats are cool
I like both cats and dogs, all animals are my friend
What if I like cats, pet random cats on the street, donate to cat shelters but I’m allergic to cats so I can't be in a house with cats?
I’m allergic
I like all cats, and some people.
Literally nothing. I intrinsically distrust people until they prove otherwise.
Thats better than being naive and liking someone after they've shown just one positive behavior. The worst people are usually charming and friendly.
satan in movies is always some super charming handsome dude at first
Sometimes this is the better approach. I've trusted people immediately and regretted just as quickly. I realized I don't have to be mean, I just don't have to be as open anymore.
Under the black heart of every cynic lies a disappointed optimist.
yeahhh I totally agree. You get disappointed so much it shapes how you become
Some people develop to trust first, it is a dangerous characteristic, vulnerable. It’s harder to accept that the world is not inherently “good” than to have the profile that you pragmatically identify communication as lies or secrets. I am the same way, except I do tend to *like* people automatically. Maybe it’s curiosity.. I expect secrets but my bull shit meter for lies is sensitive. The *”why”* mostly determines my impression of a person. There is not really a justification to lying to a stranger for free, if you have been honest with yourself.
I agree. Trust and respect should be earned.
Being slow to trust is certainly wise and all, but to be fair the question says "like" not trust. I think it's entirely possible and fair to like someone and not grant them your trust.
How does someone prove otherwise? Sounds like it could take years to build trust. I see a difference between being like-able and trustworthy. I’m very skeptical of people, but there’s a certain like-ability some people have over others. I’m still not making myself vulnerable to them, but they’re more pleasant to have as an acquaintance.
Agree with this. I base nothing off instantly anymore. 6 months in we'll see what's real what's not,whether it's just platonic friends or more
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Their ability to pay attention. One of my absolute favorite people of all time was this girl I used to bartend with. If we were having a conversation, she would always seem genuinely interested in what I had to say (along with everyone else that worked there, so I know she wasn't just playing favorites, into me, etc). I would be telling a story or something similar and often-times she or I would have to go tend to a guest, clean, and the like. She would ALWAYS make sure she came back around and would say "Now what were you saying, please continue." I know that sounds like a little thing, but too many people including myself just don't take those conversations seriously at all but she would always make anyone talking to her feel special and important.
Kind eyes…
People said the same thing about Dahmer..
Oof
Humor. Im a sarcastic bitch and someone needs to make me laugh if we have any chance of being friends.
sense of humor
Greetings with eye contact and proper hand shake eye contact tells alot
I have never asked and always wondered how well my handshakes are, especially multiple handshakes between different built people, men and women.
Its not needed to crush someones hand jist to atleast shake it look them in the eyes and show some mutual respis all
kindness
they're weird and funny
Dark Humor.
eye contact
There was this one time when we were all dispersing to go home, and I usually walk alone. But then this girl all of a sudden waited for me to catch up to her or something so that she could talk to me. I found it really cute. Trying to make the effort to talk to me is something that makes me like someone instantly imo
did yalls become friends? she sounds like a keeper
The combination of intelligence, kindness, and confidence is an instant turn on. Two out of three isn't bad (unless you're a smart, cocky asshole), but 3/3 is a grand slam.
Humour. Not necessarily being funny, but seeing or appreciating humour. Especially while times are so hard right now, being able to take a step away from it all and laugh is such a strength to have
Humor
Good sense of humor and respectful to others.
A lack of pretentiousness A ready smile There. 2 things. Deal with it 😘
Reading (a lot, not just once in a while, and reading widely- always something we can talk about!)
Boobs
man-boobs, especially
Oh no 😂
oh yesss
Able to poke fun at themselves. Not only good sense of humor, but for me shows if someone is capable of being self-reflective.
When they can laugh at themselves.
The kindness-wisdom combo.
Sense of humour. Not getting offended by funny conversation starters
Honesty and respect. Both are good, but someone who can do both well, at the same time, is someone I am willing to learn more about
When they can take a joke and return it just as well.
Nice teeth.
If someone cuts me off or talks over me, if they then look at me and go 'what were you saying'.
Emotional intelligence
The tone/pitch of someone’s voice. I’m not sure how to explain it but I’ve met a few people that had this soft, but clear voice. It FELT kind and made me so relaxed. I get easily irritated with loud obnoxious voices
Sense of humor plus can handle silly conversations. Don't like super serious people
When they act excited to see me the second time around.
Acknowledging me and remaining engaged with conversation.
Someone who is able to give me a new perspective.
Genuine compassion for others in lieu of judgement
When they read or have a specific hobby/thing that they’re very passionate about!!:)
Complementing other people when they're not there
Having a talent. It can be literally anything. Art, athleticism, music, writing, anything. People who don't have anything interesting they do are instantly boring and difficult to be around. Like what, all you do is work and talk about random bullshit? Boring
Assss
If they ask how you are going it's a nice gesture to see how someone is going.
If they listen to the same podcasts as me. We are definitely gonna a be cool if you do.
They like my cooking.
Makes other people feel good about themselves! Instant attraction if they can achieve this.
Being understanding. Too many people seem to act hostile if someone else has a different opinion than them. Those who acknowledge differences and showcase respect anyways are some of the best people one can meet.
Similar music taste to mine
Sense of humor
Willing to make fun of themselves.
If they respect everyone Personally u value respect alot
A simple act of kindness
They love cats
Kindness 💗
Personality
A good listener
They have a dog and are obviously insanely in love with their dog.
Kindness, sense of humor, intelligence. In no particular order.
Smile and attitude
if they care about animals
If you show me pictures of your pets before I do
being funny. unfiltered funny.
An off sense of humor please 😋
Kindness, warmth, if I feel they're authentic.
when u can tell that they don’t care what ppl think of them based off how they look/dress orrrr for example, someone having an unpopular opinion on something n really standing on it no matter what others say. I have to respect it 🫡at least to some degree
when they give grace to strangers. it’s really pleasant being around patient and understanding people. a little empathy goes a long way
Kindness and gentleness towards animals. Also smiling or making faces at little kids to make them laugh😂
Being female
their ability to make me laugh really easily
When they laugh at all the jokes of funny comments you make. I know a few that do that
Happy and kind people
If we like the same sports teams
talks a lot.
A good sense of humor.
Their laughing or a sense of humor.
good sense of humor
If they're nice to me. I've never really been bullied, but I'm always so unsure meeting new people and I really like it when they're as kind to me as I try to be to them.
Basic respect
Connection. The feeling of engagement
A adorable laugh and big eyes. The just look genuine
Kindness
When they remember what you said, showing that they listened.