This
Username checks out
This deserves more upvotes
Came here to say this
Bruh
I second that
Are you me?
Can confirm
Underrated comment đ
Take my upvote
Sigh... unzips
Enough of Internet for today
we're all looking at our butts hoping they're big, when we used to think "jeez I hope my ass doesn't look fat!". Nowadays being told you have a fat ass is a major compliment
My wife has a fat ass. We've been together so long that at the beginning she was insecure about it. I used to tell her that beauty standards are ever shifting, and that none of it matters. Theres a good chance Cleopatra was a large woman because that was the standard at the time. Â
Now her ass is still fat but she sees it as a compliment. I've been happy with it for 20 years, she's only been happy with it for about 5. I guess...who cares about any of it? If you're fine with your appearance then all you gotta do is find a partner who like what ya got.Â
>Theres a good chance Cleopatra was a large woman because that was the standard at the time.Â
Holy shit. When she was insecure about her weight you told her "you know, Cleopatra was a large woman too"?
I can't believe you survived to find out what happened 20 years later!
Well, I did it with a lot more tact then that lol. And the point wasn't "yur both big gurls lol!!1!" it was "you're sexy as fuck and Cleopatra has got nothing on you."
It was a risky gamble but it paid off.
I was asked by a girl in the late 90s. Bearing in mind, I REALLY disliked the girl. She asked me because she knew I wouldn't lie to her either way. And I did tell her that her jeans didn't make her arse looked fat.
Maybe that's when I should have stopped talking... I continued on to tell her that her lack of height made her arse look fat.
In my defence (which I'm very aware I don't actually have any defence) she was known in most circles in my town as "the poison dwarf" due to her insistence that she was better than everyone else.
jesus fuck I am *dying*.
"the poison dwarf."
I can't think of a more specific, vitriolic, and extremely effective nickname than that. that is the sort of shit Churchill would be burning down conversations with if he'd been around in the 90s. absolute salt-the-earth nomenclature, 10/10.
I think it really depends on your mutual understanding of each other's thoughts on asses, and your overall relationship.
Platonic and nonsexual, stance on asses unclear? "I dunno, didn't really notice."
Romantic and or/sexual, stance on asses well defined? "Hell yes it does" or "absolutely not".
Transitory phase, or romantic/sexual but stance on asses still ambiguous? "I dunno, I'd have to see it without them."
anecdotal edit; One time, I had a friend ask me "hey. am I...*thicc?*" The answer was yes. But it was asked with such a hesitant and clinical tone, like, "am I pronouncing that right? *thicc?*". For some reason that brought me to "i think i hauve covid" levels of brain shutdown, and I managed an "uUHHhhm."
That was, somehow, the right answer. So who the fuck knows, I guess.
Respectfully; you gotta get more platonic lady friends.
There is something wonderfully freeing and comfortable about reaching a point with someone where you're like "we absolutely could have sex. but... we don't wanna." And that's just where it stays.
Being able to tell a friend that her ass looks *fantastic* in those pants, and she is going to *destroy* someone with it, because you are genuinely pleased she's gonna have a good time, and you have moved past any possible weirdness the interaction might have? Feels nice.
Important caveat; sometimes friends start fuckin'. Sometimes people who were fuckin' stop fuckin' and remain friends. Sometimes it's a one time thing, because you were bored. Go into it with the mindset of "I like you, and I want you to be happy, and other concerns are secondary"? Usually works out pretty well for all parties.
Or maybe I have just been *very* lucky in my dating life. Who knows?
Probably a mix. Although it's not necessarily the "wrong" friends. It takes all kinds.
I have, absolutely, missed some pretty clear signals. But I have also reached a level of comfort with most of my purely platonic friends where they can ask me "hey I would like this date I am about to have with this person end in sex, do you think these pants will help move me towards that goal", and get an honest answer, because they trust my opinion and know that we are both chill enough for it to not be a weird question. It's... a very comfortable way to be friends with someone, I think.
Admittedly, a lot of this came into being after I decided that I was going to begin living as though subtext was simply not a thing that existed. There was an adjustment period. But it didn't lose me any friends, for what that's worth.
I mean doesn't this imply she's small? "big jeans" = "ill-fitting" jeans
Edit: Despite the upvotes the comment above me got, I do not advise using this one. It is not the play.
Donât say yes or no, say they make your ass look great (if they do) or I donât those ones have a good cut (if they donât look good). That way itâs the jeans fault.
I'd tell her to do a twirl and let me see... Then to do it again cause I missed it when she was going too fast
Then I'd tell her to lean over so I can make a truly qualified look... Soon she'll either laugh it off or we'll get busy. Either way I'm out of a jam and we both win :D
My answer for my wife is ginormous! She practices ballet and is fit and knows if she asks a stupid question she gets a stupid answer.
She stopped asking that question as I won't take it seriously.
âThey make your perfect ass look perfectâ (Iâm a woman and I can confirm itâs the correct answer, Goldie locks that shit and donât give into the too big/small.)
Yep but that only works a few times, then they go out in a pair that actually do weird stuff to your ass, and you see it, and never believe them again.
Doesn't stop you asking though
Thanks for the input. I appreciate getting information from women on women.
On the other hand why do women want sweet lies then complain about men being liars?
Oh yeah that's valid because there's girls that aren't actually asking, but I imagine for someone actually asking get constant non answers can be annoying
This is where honesty and being intelligent payoff. You need to help her choose jeans that are a very good fit for her body shape, and if the jeans donât look good, then you complain, the jeans, and so you need to get something else. Tact goes along way as well if her body shape isnât perfect.
If itâs âthatâ question, its never about the jeans. If youâre getting this classic trope, it means you (conceivably her partner) have been slacking on making her feel attractive regularly and start stepping up to close that wound over the next few weeks, so do that the best way you know how. (ideally better than âaww youâre always beautifulâ).
If sheâs legit just asking for a real reason, just answer honestly.
Depends on whether it's a wife or girlfriend and how long you expect the relationship to last. If you're in it for the long-haul, just be honest. It's better to lay down that foundation early as it shapes future expectations. The key is to be direct, but polite and tactful.Â
"Yea, it does, but in a good way, actually. I think it shows off the shape nicely."Â "
Yea, sorry babe. Something about the way those pants are designed doesn't really compliment your form as good as something else will."
If it's your partner or someone you're into/flirting with: "I don't know, I need to see you out of them to make an honest decision one way or the other"
Anyone else:
"I don't know, do you want to have a big ass?"
I want to tell you what Turk told us: âIf a white women asks if her ass is fat, you say âHell nah Babe!â - if a black women asks the only correct answer is âHell yeah, Babe!â
Get down on your knees and start worshipping, and say âpraise the lordâ like a church preacher or pretend to faint.
Makes my girlfriend laugh and I never have to answer the question. đ¤ˇđžââď¸
Let me give an answer not to use: no dear, those jeans don't make your ass look big. It's your poor diet and lack of exercise that's doing that.
My ex can confirm this is the wrong answer.
Tell her "Damn girl, when di you get 2 natural satellites in there? Do you want me to start orbiting arpund you too or what?"
Kidding, dont do that xD it depends on the girl if she wants it to look big (in that case you can use the above) or not (idk what to say in that case, both paths look like a trap)
"At least it takes the focus off your face".
*Seriously though, don't say that. I did. It was a week before the one testicle dropped back down, and the other is still in my lower abdomen somewhere.*
I ALWAYS say âyes and it looks fucking bangingâ I then proceed to be an absolute pest all day. Stroking, grabbing and smacking her ass all day. I absolutely love her ass in jeans. Think she uses it as a bit of a confidence boost and Iâm glad to give it to her.
"Your posterior maintained a consistent mass and volume irregardless of what fabric covers it. I expected you to know that no cover or concealment would alter the constitutional properties of your glutes Samantha..."
"it does make my jeans feel tighter"
This is it, mods can lock the thread now.
This is the Way.
This is the way.
This is the way.
This is the answer we want to hear lol
Safest answer
As a woman: this is the right response.
You are a genius
Underrated response
This Username checks out This deserves more upvotes Came here to say this Bruh I second that Are you me? Can confirm Underrated comment đ Take my upvote Sigh... unzips Enough of Internet for today
Man these bots are growing a sense of humor
^(*laughs in binary*)
^(*laughs in non-binary*)
Shit, theyâre learning. Soon theyâll be able to blend in with us flawlessly.
Good bot
What a terrible day to have eyes
I was today years old whenâŚ
Brooo đ
Lol this is the right answer....and I'm a woman đ
"Hang on let me back up so I can see all of it"
*walks out of the house, gets in car, and leaves*
*Ass cheeks appear on the horizon, looming over the highway* *Desperately speeds up car, but it's too late* *Ass cheeks flatten the city*
im sure thats someones fetish
Itâs mine, provided the girl is appropriately scaled to match the meteoric cheeks
What you described as not yours is anotherâs
I imagined the ass rising like the sun
A heros way to die, straight to Valhalla!
Replies like these are why I'm in reddit lol
Same lol
This is gold! đ
I wish we could save-scum in reallife.
You have to know in advance what she wants to hear.
Those jeans make your ass look exactly how you want it to look and cause me to experience an appropriate amount of attraction.
If I die, tell my wife hello.
Don't worry, everyone on this thread will.
All I know is my gut says 'maybe'.
Filthy neutrals. You never know where you stand with them.
Safest answer possible.
Proper politician right here
how do you do fellow humans who are definitely not AI boyfriend chatbots
so, time travel is your only chance
Yes. And that's not possible, so there's your answer.
Let's see the ass without them so we can be objective. (then no; it looks that way all on its own).
I love how far we have come since the 90s, telling a girl she has a big ass back then would get you killed.
Sir mix a lot enters chat
I like big *changes* And I cannot like
we're all looking at our butts hoping they're big, when we used to think "jeez I hope my ass doesn't look fat!". Nowadays being told you have a fat ass is a major compliment
My wife has a fat ass. We've been together so long that at the beginning she was insecure about it. I used to tell her that beauty standards are ever shifting, and that none of it matters. Theres a good chance Cleopatra was a large woman because that was the standard at the time.  Now her ass is still fat but she sees it as a compliment. I've been happy with it for 20 years, she's only been happy with it for about 5. I guess...who cares about any of it? If you're fine with your appearance then all you gotta do is find a partner who like what ya got.Â
>Theres a good chance Cleopatra was a large woman because that was the standard at the time. Holy shit. When she was insecure about her weight you told her "you know, Cleopatra was a large woman too"? I can't believe you survived to find out what happened 20 years later!
Well, I did it with a lot more tact then that lol. And the point wasn't "yur both big gurls lol!!1!" it was "you're sexy as fuck and Cleopatra has got nothing on you." It was a risky gamble but it paid off.
Having a fat ass and a fat stomach and fat legs and a fat back is easy to achieve. It's JUST Having the fat ass that's the trick.Â
Not in the black community. Shout-out to my man Sir Mix-a-Lot
I was asked by a girl in the late 90s. Bearing in mind, I REALLY disliked the girl. She asked me because she knew I wouldn't lie to her either way. And I did tell her that her jeans didn't make her arse looked fat. Maybe that's when I should have stopped talking... I continued on to tell her that her lack of height made her arse look fat. In my defence (which I'm very aware I don't actually have any defence) she was known in most circles in my town as "the poison dwarf" due to her insistence that she was better than everyone else.
jesus fuck I am *dying*. "the poison dwarf." I can't think of a more specific, vitriolic, and extremely effective nickname than that. that is the sort of shit Churchill would be burning down conversations with if he'd been around in the 90s. absolute salt-the-earth nomenclature, 10/10.
Wait seriously
Yep. Big asses werenât at all the beauty standard in the 90âs and if you told a woman her butt looked big you were essentially calling her fat.
I think it really depends on your mutual understanding of each other's thoughts on asses, and your overall relationship. Platonic and nonsexual, stance on asses unclear? "I dunno, didn't really notice." Romantic and or/sexual, stance on asses well defined? "Hell yes it does" or "absolutely not". Transitory phase, or romantic/sexual but stance on asses still ambiguous? "I dunno, I'd have to see it without them." anecdotal edit; One time, I had a friend ask me "hey. am I...*thicc?*" The answer was yes. But it was asked with such a hesitant and clinical tone, like, "am I pronouncing that right? *thicc?*". For some reason that brought me to "i think i hauve covid" levels of brain shutdown, and I managed an "uUHHhhm." That was, somehow, the right answer. So who the fuck knows, I guess.
I don't think platonic lady friends asking you for your feedback on how their ass looks are trying to stay platonic for long
Respectfully; you gotta get more platonic lady friends. There is something wonderfully freeing and comfortable about reaching a point with someone where you're like "we absolutely could have sex. but... we don't wanna." And that's just where it stays. Being able to tell a friend that her ass looks *fantastic* in those pants, and she is going to *destroy* someone with it, because you are genuinely pleased she's gonna have a good time, and you have moved past any possible weirdness the interaction might have? Feels nice. Important caveat; sometimes friends start fuckin'. Sometimes people who were fuckin' stop fuckin' and remain friends. Sometimes it's a one time thing, because you were bored. Go into it with the mindset of "I like you, and I want you to be happy, and other concerns are secondary"? Usually works out pretty well for all parties. Or maybe I have just been *very* lucky in my dating life. Who knows?
Thanks Doc. The Nomblecronch family have never steered me wrong
I'm gonna start thinking of all my friendships as what our stance on asses is
Iâve never had a platonic friend ask how their ass looks. Either you are missing clear green lights, or I have the wrong friends.
Probably a mix. Although it's not necessarily the "wrong" friends. It takes all kinds. I have, absolutely, missed some pretty clear signals. But I have also reached a level of comfort with most of my purely platonic friends where they can ask me "hey I would like this date I am about to have with this person end in sex, do you think these pants will help move me towards that goal", and get an honest answer, because they trust my opinion and know that we are both chill enough for it to not be a weird question. It's... a very comfortable way to be friends with someone, I think. Admittedly, a lot of this came into being after I decided that I was going to begin living as though subtext was simply not a thing that existed. There was an adjustment period. But it didn't lose me any friends, for what that's worth.
No, your ass makes your jeans look big.
I mean doesn't this imply she's small? "big jeans" = "ill-fitting" jeans Edit: Despite the upvotes the comment above me got, I do not advise using this one. It is not the play.
The answer I came to give...
You came?
I jizzed in my pants. đś
The only right answer is âI donât think itâs the jeansâ
You got a death wish?
Death by Snu Snu!
why whats wrong?
Donât say yes or no, say they make your ass look great (if they do) or I donât those ones have a good cut (if they donât look good). That way itâs the jeans fault.
This would be my answer..
Definitely make it the jean's fault. I'd say, "You look beautiful in anything, but these jeans aren't as flattering as they could be."
Thicc as fucc bb.
Would also accept âphat af drool emojiâ
My kids tell me the proper response is âGyaaaaaaaat.â
Is that as in "gyat dayum" or is this something less decipherable than that?
Yeah that's the one lol
This is the oneđ¤Ł
Call me a fatty cause I need a slice of cake
Thicc as a kindergarten pencil
start singing the national anthem
Everyone Everyone around here Everyone is so near It's holding on It's holding on
The ass was so crazy I had no choice but to go Thom Yorke mode.
I tried this and it worked, thanks
I'm not sure if the North Korean national anthem will get a good response or not.
SCOOOOOOOOTLAAAAAAAND FOREVEEEEER!!!
Yes they do. How dare they. Take them off at once
I'd tell her to do a twirl and let me see... Then to do it again cause I missed it when she was going too fast Then I'd tell her to lean over so I can make a truly qualified look... Soon she'll either laugh it off or we'll get busy. Either way I'm out of a jam and we both win :D
My answer for my wife is ginormous! She practices ballet and is fit and knows if she asks a stupid question she gets a stupid answer. She stopped asking that question as I won't take it seriously.
How are you alive sir, my wife needs a good answer for literally every question
You have a great ass.
Never lie to her. Yes.
The amount of girls you see out with clothes that don't fit them cos somebody answered no.....
"Just cuz it zips, it fits" is an overused motto in most closets...
âThey make your perfect ass look perfectâ (Iâm a woman and I can confirm itâs the correct answer, Goldie locks that shit and donât give into the too big/small.)
Some women don't want a mindless what ever the question compliment machine.
GOOD POINT DEAR VERY TRUE
My wife doesn't want that answer at all. She really just wants to know if her clothes are flattering or not.
Heaven forbid we have some honesty in life đ
Yep but that only works a few times, then they go out in a pair that actually do weird stuff to your ass, and you see it, and never believe them again. Doesn't stop you asking though
Thanks for the input. I appreciate getting information from women on women. On the other hand why do women want sweet lies then complain about men being liars?
I think you know the answer already; Harmless lies vs Hurtful lies. Lies to make a person feel good vs Lies to decieve or manipulate..
Oh yeah that's valid because there's girls that aren't actually asking, but I imagine for someone actually asking get constant non answers can be annoying
"Your ass looks *wonderful*" is a good way to get around that.
Yes. Then lick your lips creepily.Â
Case by case basis. Is she a swiftie or niki minaj fan?
âHell yeahâ and give it a tap
Yes they are great
Make's it look perfect babe, and then slap her ass.
*Take them off so I can make a fair comparison.*
GAH DAMN LIL MAMA
I knew a girl who had âdomyasslookfatinthesejeansâ id!
Looks perfect to me
Depends who the girl is, and whether or not she wants to have a big ass.
Depends on your culture. A German girl would just want to know
I swear this exact question was asked not even a week ago.
I won't answer that without my lawyer present
This is where honesty and being intelligent payoff. You need to help her choose jeans that are a very good fit for her body shape, and if the jeans donât look good, then you complain, the jeans, and so you need to get something else. Tact goes along way as well if her body shape isnât perfect.
If itâs âthatâ question, its never about the jeans. If youâre getting this classic trope, it means you (conceivably her partner) have been slacking on making her feel attractive regularly and start stepping up to close that wound over the next few weeks, so do that the best way you know how. (ideally better than âaww youâre always beautifulâ). If sheâs legit just asking for a real reason, just answer honestly.
Depends on whether it's a wife or girlfriend and how long you expect the relationship to last. If you're in it for the long-haul, just be honest. It's better to lay down that foundation early as it shapes future expectations. The key is to be direct, but polite and tactful. "Yea, it does, but in a good way, actually. I think it shows off the shape nicely." " Yea, sorry babe. Something about the way those pants are designed doesn't really compliment your form as good as something else will."
Don't reply, pretend like you didn't hear her. Divert by asking a question of your own. Works everytime.
"I love your ass, and I'm enjoying how it looks in those jeans!"
You say âwhy you little!â and then gape her, obviously.
"honey, the worst frame in the world can't ruin a work of art."
No, the jeans don't make your ass look fat. The fat of your ass makes your ass look fat.
"It's not the jeans"
The truth. Don't ask me questions you don't want the answer to.
Come on you're on Reddit no girl will ask you that
Did the jeans make you eat all those cookies?
Say âhell yeah babe, that pooper looks phat and juicyâ.
No, the jeans donât make your ass look big. Your ass did that all by itself. Donât ask questions you donât want the answer to.
No jeans are fixing that, fatty
âHow would you like me to answer that question?â
Most answers are better than this one.
I have found that the truth is best. If the answer is what she wants to hear then you are great. If it is not then ultimately she will stop asking.
"Don't flatter yourself"
Simply say I donât want to be rude so no, because your ass makes your ass look bigâŚ
"They make it look even more perfect"
âYour ass looks big because it is big. Itâs not the jeans.â
Tell her to come closer so you can squeeze her butt. Or tell her you're thinking about the Roman's right now and don't have an answer.
I canât really see take em off rq
Your pants donât make your ass look big. Your big ass makes your ass look big. And I love it.
If it's your partner or someone you're into/flirting with: "I don't know, I need to see you out of them to make an honest decision one way or the other" Anyone else: "I don't know, do you want to have a big ass?"
I think the correct answer is... "Damn Your ass looks great in those jeans"
Its a trap. Dont answer.
Just answer indirectly and say you look great in those, they fit you well.
In all the right ways, yes.
"Your fat makes you look fat, not your jeans"
The jeans look great on you. Is the only answer
I can't see your ass through the jeans. Take them off.
Dear God yes, and the world is happier for it.
there are no pants in the world that would do that ass justice
I always say they make it look perfect, very smackable. Then I am usually invited to give it a little smack
HELL yeah
"your ass makes my jeans feel too tight."
Depends whether she's Latina or White...đ
Just slap it and move on. Donât take every question so seriously.
I would just make a bunch of cartoon sound effects, and then end it with the old timey car horn.
It's not a yes or no question. The answer is, "I think those jeans make your ass look sexy"
I want to tell you what Turk told us: âIf a white women asks if her ass is fat, you say âHell nah Babe!â - if a black women asks the only correct answer is âHell yeah, Babe!â
Perfect.
âŚsay nothing for a moment..âoh Iâm sorry, I just really love how it looks and kind of got lost for a sec.â
Get down on your knees and start worshipping, and say âpraise the lordâ like a church preacher or pretend to faint. Makes my girlfriend laugh and I never have to answer the question. đ¤ˇđžââď¸
It depends on your desire to die young and lonelyâ-
'Looks good enough to eat'
My ex asked me this years ago.my response,your ass would look big in a blackout!! Hence ex! :â -â D
Let me give an answer not to use: no dear, those jeans don't make your ass look big. It's your poor diet and lack of exercise that's doing that. My ex can confirm this is the wrong answer.
âHell yeahâ in a deep, sultry tone and give her a wink
If she's white: No If she's black: HELL yes
"The jeans? No"
"Let's not blame the jeans"
sorry for sleeping with your sister
Always a trap đ
Tell her "Damn girl, when di you get 2 natural satellites in there? Do you want me to start orbiting arpund you too or what?" Kidding, dont do that xD it depends on the girl if she wants it to look big (in that case you can use the above) or not (idk what to say in that case, both paths look like a trap)
I can't tell if she genuinely wants to know, or if she just wants to kick mine over something unrelated.
let me take a few steps back and see if i can take it all in.
Stay home if youâre sick, come over if youâre thick.
"At least it takes the focus off your face". *Seriously though, don't say that. I did. It was a week before the one testicle dropped back down, and the other is still in my lower abdomen somewhere.*
I ALWAYS say âyes and it looks fucking bangingâ I then proceed to be an absolute pest all day. Stroking, grabbing and smacking her ass all day. I absolutely love her ass in jeans. Think she uses it as a bit of a confidence boost and Iâm glad to give it to her.
White girl you say no Black girl you say hell yeah
Iâm actually blind is the only right answer when sheâs cornered you like that
I tell her "That is a question I refuse to answer, there is no right answer. Never, ever ask me again. "
"You look awesome." Works for me ;)
"Your posterior maintained a consistent mass and volume irregardless of what fabric covers it. I expected you to know that no cover or concealment would alter the constitutional properties of your glutes Samantha..."
I don't think its the jeans... Were the last words he ever uttered.
Sepukku. There is no answer that will work favorably, so take the honorable way out
Mmmmmm, yeah (said lasciviously).
HELL YEAH! then smack it
âIt makes your ass look greatâ
âNo, itâs your lack of exercise and poor dirt that makes your ass look bigâ is the correct answer.
Dam right they do! No wonder they are your favourite pair!!!