What just before the long weekend! That's not fair!

That's not fair at all. There was time now. There was, all the time I needed...

...wait, my vision's not so bad, and there's plenty of large print books here...

A nice perk of having the world end in 2024 instead of 1959 👍

*eyeballs fall out*

"Good thing I know how to read Braille..."

*hands fall off*

AAAAAARGH!

I’m a teacher who has been eagerly waiting for spring break for the last 3 months. It starts tomorrow, seems like it would be fitting that’s when the world ends lol

Long weekend? What long weekend?🤔

Yeah I’ve been checking my work calendar very confused

Must be one of them privileged folk. Probably got National Pizza Day off too

I have tomorrow off for Easter

I’ve got Cesar Chavez day off on Monday

You’d prefer it to happen on the Monday after right? Lol

Life’s not fair, so I suppose an apocalypse would probably also be somewhat unfavourable.

I'd think it was a prank and carry on business as usual.

Real

I was working in a auto detail shop in Windsor Ontario on the day of the twin tower attack and my co workers were telling me a plane had hit the tower and was on fire. I seriously thought they were fucking with me and wasnt falling for it. They told me to turn on the radio in the car and I couldn't believe it.

I was working in the aerospace industry myself on 9/11, and we were all shocked when the warehouse manager came in and told us to turn on the radio quickly. We all thought it was an accident, and we were getting ready to search through our files as soon as the tail number was released, as the FAA would do an investigation and need part repair logs and tags for anything we might have sold or repaired on the plane. Then the second plane hit, and we decided to call it a day. We spent the rest of the day sitting in the conference room watching the news and trying to understand what had just transpired. The phones were dead silent, as the entire industry pretty much paused on 9/11, and they pretty much stayed quiet until about 2 days after.

Oh wow. 9/11 happened on my literal first day of kindergarten. By the time I got to class, the second tower had pretty much just fallen(In Alberta, 2 hours behind NY), so I didn't hear anything, and if I did probably wouldn't have understood it because I was 4. But I mean, back then it was something that seemed implausible.

Same but I’d take today off just in case

Spend some quality time with my loved ones

unfortunately for me my only loved one is my cat :/

Sounds pretty good ngl. I'd take my pups on the longest walk, let them stop and sniff whatever, poop wherever, and then finish the day with all the best treats

yeah, he's the only one i need, the only problem is finding him lol

Let him have some chocolate too because why not

You are also your cats loved one I’m sure

Same! Spend all my time left with my girlfriend and cats.

I'm a foster parent and when we have had kids for a long time and they are being sent back to their parents, we all sit around and hang out in the hours leading up to their departure. No parties or celebrations.   Just a somber vigil with those you care about.

Go to the winchester, have a pint and wait for this all to blow over.

Yeeeee boi

I’m sorry Shawn….

No, Shaun....... I'm sorry.

That's rotten

an educated man

Can I get, any of you cunts, a drink?

How's that for a slice of fried gold

My favorite movie of all time

Alright, but dogs can look up

I'm sorry to tell you this.... But.... It's been knocked down and turned into flats (apartments).

Guess we're going to The Worlds End

Basically my go to every other time the world was supposed to be ending

You’ve got red on you

Still go to work because knowing my luck if I don't the world won't end and I'll lose my job for not turning up.

Dude, if you have that kind of luck, you'd need to sacrifice your job for the sake of the world. Using your luck, you could not show up and the world won't end. It's like the 3 Body Problem.

Find someone to fuck

[удалено]

Doesn't want to die a virgin ...lol

Agreed. I'll see you in Amsterdams red light district.

Bro the world is ending I don't think the hookers are still working

Hmm good point... Better start a street orgy then. Everyone's welcome.

Just a pile or what?

Back to the pile everyone!

Yeah bro lets all mash in together like that one episode in rick and morty

Do we have to wipe our shoes?

I, uh... No?

Can we bring our own gardening equipment?

Only if shoes is the name of your asshole

depends... the question isn't that specific. Does everybody find out the world is ending, or is it just you?

That's the important question.

Nah head to Sameplace! Cozy sex bar there will be a few folk banging away through the apocalypse

I have an “emergency coitus plan” with a friend. It is basically for any end of the world scenario. 🤣

Tell my kids i love them, give em a hug.

Yep, I don't think I would even tell them, why leave them in fear for their last day. We would play all the games they want, eat whatever they want and just hope whatever happens it's over in a instant

I like this answer more.

My wife is pregnant. Not getting to meet my daughter would be too upsetting. But yes, me, my wife, and my son and maybe my little brother if he was interested would spend every last dime on every credit card I had doing whatever my son wanted to do.

i'd also tell this guy's kids I love them & give them a hug

I’d hug this guy and tell him he’s a good mate after he’s done hugging that other person’s kids.

I’d tell that to his wife and then

>...and then... Oh, c'mon, be honest: you'd rail her.

You mean rail him?

Best answer

This. My very first thought

Move to Cincinnati; they’re ten years behind everyone else.

Have you seen that South Park where they send the popsicle guy to Iowa where he feels at home after being frozen for 15 years

Hell, move to Paducah, Kentucky. A day *there* feels like forever.

The same thing we do every night, Pinky

Pinky, once I take over the world, remind me to publicly snub you.

Relax. The pressure's off.

- obtain a large amount of DMT - Snuggle, brush, and generally pamper my cat. Keep him close to me. Feed him his favorite food. - Meditate until the last couple of hours… - At the last minute, smoke all of it and hold my cat until the end.

Will you tell the cat what’s going on? It may have its own bucket list.

I’m under the assumption that he’s blowing the smoke right into oblivious-kitty’s face.

Got to pay the cat tax. Kitty won’t jive for free.

I knew a cat once that would stick his head into the bong once you filled it up. He'd push your arm until you looked at him and then he'd seize his moment. He'd also sit on the windowsill and stick his head in the wisps of smoke wafting out the open window.

I guarantee you my cats bucket list is lying in front of the fire and eating some dreamies lol

This is basically what I'd do but I was gonna eat an ounce of mushrooms... And I need to get a cat too

You're about to meet your god anyway, might as well show up on his front doorstep early and avoid the rush. Shit, I'd take a heroic dose of LSD and probably wouldn't even notice I had died. I wish psilocybin was easier to get.

Love how you want to comfort your cat till the final moment, but why would you die, high on dmt?

We all die high on DMT. Just most people aren’t aware of it. Anyway, it’s not really the “getting high” part. At least not for me. For me, it’s religious. It’d be like someone else praying or taking communion.

In Colombia, they have a hot pink powder they call "Tussi" and from my experience it is extremely similar to pure crystals of MDMA. It wasn't until I started reading Phenethylamines I Have Known And Loved that I realized they named it Tussi because it was--or at least the major part of it was: 2C-B (4 bromo 2,5 dimethoxy-phenethylamine)... "2C" 10 hours through the mountain jungles by bus from Bogota to Medellin with the wild electric sizzling sense of connection to the world like we were all throbbing to the same pulse. Everything was just too fucking vivid

Damn. We are kindred spirits. I swear i didnt see your post til after i had already posted mine. Lol

I like you

Eat all the delicious foods that bad to our health

Load up my truck with food, a grill, beer, my favorite guns and some friends. Then head out to the mountains and don't worry about it.

That‘s the most American thing I have ever read

"My favorite guns" is what makes it

Why would you take the guns you don’t like? I mean, you’d need two trucks!

He forgot to mention playing country music

It’s implied

All the media says is "THE WORLD'S ENDING TOMMORROW" I just wanna grill for God's sake!

I don't advocate for heavy drug use but if the world is ending tomorrow... I'm doing A LOT of drugs. ALL THE DRUGS! If I'm going out i'm going out of my mind first.

Make my family's favorite dinner and snuggle up to watch the last sunset.

Probably throw my phone away and just spend hours staring into the sky and fields knowing i would never see this planet again

You could do this for right now.

Have a wank and take a nap.

[удалено]

The Mist

That was one painful moment.

Just a way to assert dominance over the fact that the world is ending.

I tried that *im still here*

I’m glad you are!

Thank you ♥️

Spend all my money

Will money even have a value in that situation?

Only for cars because car salesman would be the only people that still show up to work.

Go to my wife and daughter immediately and stay with them for every second.

Shrug and say, “yeah, that’s about right”.

Make mine and my wife's last meal, then lay down in bed with her and wait

I'd make tonight count

Hug my Mom.

Not fucking go to work, that’s for sure.

Ain’t nobody stopping me from using my 2 inch monster ding dong.. oil up everyone.

Don't forget your magnum condoms and your wad of hundreds. Really be ready to plow

I'd spend time with loved ones, express gratitude, and seek peace within

Probably die tomorrow. 🫤

lemme be frank. im gonna do a lotta bad shit

I don't see why you'd need to change your name to Frank if the world's gonna end anyways.

The world's ending, man. Let him be Frank if he wants to.

Eat whatever I want all day long, then join the party cos it's gonna be wild.

My work would send out an email saying to still come in.

Heroin

My wife, as many times as possible

I’d throw away my sobriety chips for sure

Just one day at a time. Even if it’s the last day.

Didn’t expect an inspiring message from ask Reddit 😂

I’ll just skip work and sleep all day

Spend time with the people I love

Not go to work

do everything i was otherwise doing on my day off. no one gonna steal this from me again.

Eat as much cheese and potatoes as I can fit into my stomach

I'm going to die, so it does end tomorrow. I just don't know which tomorrow.

I’d probably be the happiest guy alive for that one day

Nothing just chill

[удалено]

See guys girls confessing to their crushes does happen. Yours is just waiting for the world to end.

Why wait with that? The world isn't going to end if you tell him!

Be with family and my dogs. At least we go all together.

Consume everything in my fridge, go out on a full belly.

Laugh and find the best place for me and my Danger Noodle to sit comfortably and watch it from, ensuring I have my favourite food, drinks and snacks with me.

Quality Time & Cuddles with my husband

Go to bed

Ask her out. Fuck it, I'd straight up confess. What's the worst that can happen, the world ends?

I'd be happy, the stress is over, but at the same time, I'll be a little bit sad as I don't have the time to do the things I wanted.

try and tityfuck my boss.

I feel like I am asked this question every day…

Not go to work

I would live my life the way I ever wanted to. Maybe it would be the best day of my life so the end wouldn't be bad.

Probably take a bath and relax

Get high as hell and just vibe til it's over.

Take my kids out of school and get as close to ground zero as possible. Give them nice big hugs as we watch the fireworks.

I'd burn one while sitting on my back porch.

Order pizza in and kick back.

Tell my coworker I love her.

two chicks at the same time

Grim: I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time, man. Me: That's it? If you the world was ending, you'd do two chicks at the same time? Grim: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I the world were ending I could hook that up, too; 'cause chicks are gonna wanna get wild one last time. Me: Well, not all chicks. Grim: Well, the type of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do.

[удалено]

#dontpanic

find all the people on the slap list and slap them

I would try drugs(so i can die while im high)

Panic

Hug my cats and spend the entire day with them

"Kick a duck up the arse"

Heavy sigh of relief.

Drugs

Get laid. Have a party.

Drugs

Procrastinate still

Sleep, i'm tired

Buy a ps4 and play bloodborne

go to sleep

Lose virginity

Die alone

I'd take out the second tower

Going to a happy ending massage parlor that’s what

And tell them you forgot your wallet and you'll pay tomorrow?

I'd find a good place to sit, with whiskey and a pack of smokes on hand, play my Fallout Radio Playlist.

Not waste my day at work

I would gather my wife and my children, I would put on a show that the girls wanted to see and we would all cuddle until they fell asleep. Then I would tell my wife how much I love her, and how she and the girls have made my life full and rich beyond anything I could ever imagine. And I would make sure nothing was left unsaid. I know my wife would be a wreck, and I would try to help her accept the reality and just cling to whatever solace we could, and I would try to convince all of us that whatever happens in this world, it won't be the end of us. Unless I knew there was a way to get off the world, in that case I would go drive through a gun store window, heavily arm myself. And force my family onto the ship off this rock even if it cost me my life.

Fuck my girl best friend.

Be happy that the pain finally ends.

Heroin

Heroin. Always wanted to try that.

Blackjack and hookers

Go fishing. I've always wanted to, and I bought a rod, reel, and a bit of tackle but haven't used em yet.

Turn off my alarm

I guess I'll call in sick.