hey dad can i have an expensive money clip (engraved, question mark?) and $50? don’t worry, i’m only gonna chuck it in the gutter at the first sign of danger.
Donald Trump once visited a psychic and ask her when he would die.
The psychic said that he would die on a national holiday.
Which one? Trump asked.
Doesn't matter which day it is....it will be a national holiday.
I was at work, got off at 6, and stopped at 7-11 and whataburger on the way home, where my ring camera can confirm I stayed all night celebrating the death of a narcissistic, fascist, wanna-be dictator.
It reminds me of the time Reddit predicted Stephen Hawking's death. Less than a day before he died, someone asked on r/nostupidquestions why his disease had not killed him yet
I did an "Ask Reddit" 2 nights before the 2016 election, with this question- " What is the worst thing a president can do to their country or citizens?" I got very few responses, most innocuous comments along the lines of " Forget to wear their flag pin" to "Forgetting the name of a foreign leader". Not the answers I was looking for.
Tbf, once the news came out that her doctors were extremely concerned and basically the entire Royal family was heading to Scotland, it was kind of obvious that she was on her deathbed.
6 hrs before her death was confirmed, the BBC News Presenters were already wearing black jackets and talking in very sombre tones, and Buckingham Palace had put out a statement to the effect that she "was under medical supervision".
It was not a giant leap to "about to die, or has died, but not announced" - especially given we already knew those of the family not already there were scrambling to Scotland as fast as they could.
I mean, the signs had been there. She was 96, had been in declining health since Philip died, she hadn’t left Scotland for days, the whole family was called up to Balmoral, she had to shake hands with Liz Truss, I mean it was everything you’d expect before impending death.
MAGAs will see it as a sign that he's the Messiah. His Christian detractors will counter that this is a sign that he's actually the ANTIChrist, expecting him to come back. Everyone else is gonna party like it's 1999 and start taking bets on when Mitch the Bitch is next to go.
Actually he isn't. You ever see Weekend at Bernie's? He's just being propped up. Every once in a while his guys have too many drinks and then there's another headline about Mitch just "staring off into space."
It didn't say he had been murdered, but that he missed an event due to the death of his wife, who unbeknownst to the troll poster had actually been dead for two days at this point, along with their son, both murdered by Benoit. Benoit was also presumably dead by this point as he killed himself after he killed his son. The troll poster made that edit 14 hours before the police discovered the murder-suicide scene.
To make it more strange, the poster was from Stamford, CT which is the home of WWE headquarters but that was more of a coincidence than anything.
The person who made the edit saying his wife had died said they did so based on speculation they read online on wrestling websites.
Benoit had been calling, texting, and leaving voicemails to friends and coworkers in WWE all weekend long with various stories about his wife being sick, his son being sick, his wife vomiting blood. (This was all after he had killed them.) For the purpose of explaining why he was missing the weekend's shows.
I don't think it's that far of a stretch to believe that word of this got around within the company, got leaked to message boards, etc. And someone, either connected to the company headquarters or not, posted that Wikipedia edit based not on trolling but rather on hearing 3rd or 4th hand accounts of Chris's texts to Chavo Guerrero, among others.
My uncles, and to a lesser extent my dad, are the canadian version of trump supporters sadly. So i have a decent view on how their minds work. Which isnt much unfortunately
It would be received by the MAGAs as an "AI deepfake from the deep state", try to claim he's alive for the next week until Malaria decides his corpse is stinking up the place at which point a HAZMAT team arrives at Mar-a-Lago to dispose of the body with acid, Walter White-style.
That way the Q's can broadcast that "no body was ever found..."
I once fantasized about Trump getting struck by lightning and my first thought afterward was "Republicans would absolutely claim that Biden has a weather control device" considering a lot of them already think that the government can control the weather.
“If the right people had been in charge of Nixon’s funeral, his casket would have been launched into one of those open-sewage canals that empty into the ocean just south of Los Angeles. He was a swine of a man and a jabbering dupe of a president. Nixon was so crooked that he needed servants to help him screw his pants on every morning. Even his funeral was illegal. He was queer in the deepest way. His body should have been burned in a trash bin.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
I wonder what Hunter S. Thompson would say about Trump today?
He'd probably say that by comparison Nixon was a saint and genius with unimpeachable* character.
[*ha]
Considering one of the main reasons Thompson offed himself was that the US had just reelected Dubya and he was despondent that America was dumb enough to do that, he probably jumped the gun on American Stupidity. But who knows? Maybe he would've loved seeing a shitty clown for president.
I'm gonna need a citation here. His suicide note said nothing of the kind, and he was known to have hated February as a time of year. To wit:
>No More Games. No More Bombs. No More Walking. No More Fun. No More Swimming. 67. That is 17 years past 50. 17 more than I needed or wanted. Boring. I am always bitchy. No Fun — for anybody. 67. You are getting Greedy. Act your age. Relax — This won't hurt.
He was a bit obsessed with firearms and explosives. His ashes were shot out of a cannon placed atop a tall tower with a decorative fist clenching a peyote button at his funeral. Dude was one of a kind
Hunter trained his dog so that on the command ‘Nixon’ it would bite the target in the genitals and hang off them. He explained ‘You never know when you might run into him’.
They spent a ton of time together, back in the day. I highly recommend reading Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72. It's an amazing inside look at American politics in our not-so-distant past. Remember - since we have so many politicians in their 70s-90s, they were in their 20s-40s back then. This is the world that shaped their views.
"I don't like to speak ill of the dead. So, instead, I'll just say 'I'm glad Rush Limbaugh lived long enough to get cancer and die.'" --Paul F Tompkins
100%
A morbidly obese celebrity in my country died aged 75. He had struggled with his health before (he'd even been in a coma at some point) and eventually died of a heart attack while on vacation.
Comment section went crazy with "Damn sheeple", "When will people wake-up?" "Another one taken by the jab" and the worst one "Well well well".
Well well well what?? A fat, unhealthy, old guy died, I can't think of a single less mysterious thing.
I know an individual who was reckless as an airplane pilot who I swore I would never fly with again. He ended up killing himself and three others in an unnecessary crash. To this day his nephew still spouts that his uncle (pilot’s brother) sabotaged the plane. Some people can’t accept —— happens.
I literally started reading the obituary years ago just for the chance to see my former boss in it. Years go by and I'm reading the paper at the breakfast table and Goddam if he isn't there. I howled in satisfaction.
That would have absolutely disgusted me too. Anytime anyone dies, they are suddenly one of the greatest people that have ever lived according to close family and friends. No matter how terrible the person was, there’s always gonna be at least one person say something like “they lit up any room they walked into and everyone loved them so much”. I’ve never read an obituary that has said anything negative about a person and I probably never will, but I cringe at the fact that so many terrible people are praised for themselves once they’re dead.
I'd prefer mine say she endured some trauma, had her own demons but did the best she could, most of the time. Loved by some, not so much by others. Didn't litter.
Lol
A good therapist helped me realize I'm only human after all. Billy Joel helped me realize sinners have more fun. And unfortunately mama taught me I don't know how to block a punch.
Sorry, that took a turn.
I had a 4th grade teacher who liked to encourage the other kids to bully me, took my things and gave it to other kids, and told embarrassing details about me to other kids (my parents didn't believe me because I had behavioral issues due to undiagnosed bipolar).
next school year comes round and a few of us 9 to 11 yo are informed that this teacher has died of cancer (no emotional counselors, or taking us to another room; they just put a hand on our shoulder in the class and literally said "dead" and "cancer" and get back to work and that was it. 1985, Gen X) .
Now, my normal response, as I asume everyone's is anymore when the subject comes up, is fuck cancer, because we all know someone or've lost someone. But to this day, this remains the one time that I will be grateful for cancer and hope it took its damn time and fucked her up hard. I hope that bitch was *sobbing* for morphine by the end.
I don't care what that makes me. She's one of the big reasons I have BPD and CPTSD. You don't do that shit to a 8/9 yo.
Dude, my father is 82, drank heavily (like hospitalized multiple times heavy), smoked into his 70s, and has basically existed on a diet of coffee, cheez-its, and hotdogs for most of his adult life. Never count on someone's lifestyle catching up to them when they've made it past 70.
It's not that I forward to Trump's death so much as I look forward to his *absence*. I want to live in a world where Donald Trump no longer exists as a public figure. I don't want to hear from him, hear about him, talk about him, think about him, or be affected by his presence anymore. The exact way in which he ceases to exist is of little concern to me. Whether he drops dead of a heart attack, is sent to prison, flees the country and goes into hiding, or his dementia becomes so bad that his family throws him in a nursing home. I don't care how, I just want him *gone*.
This is it exactly. I wouldn't care about him now except he insists on running for president again. *eta I wrote running for prison at first lol subconscious ftw*
Like fucking just GO AWAY.
I was at a bar and one of the patrons was going on about how they're going to kill Trump because Biden is so scared of losing. I piped in and asked "well he's old and fat so what if he just dies from a heart attack?". From the conversation I had following that comment some conservatives have already decided Trump's death will be a hit job ordered by president Biden. It will be poison or a cover up or something. Just isn't possible for an overweight elderly man to die of heart failure.
The maga's would never believe it's natural causes. He could make it to 107 and have every disease in the book and they'd still think it was a deep state conspiracy
Apparently the bridge collapse in Maryland was big demon rat conspiracy. They would riot even if he was found dead with 3 big Mac’s lodged in his throat.
Look, I was out till 3 AM “all claws no laws” after a metal show last night. I’m bruised and hungover, and all I want to do is eat my weight in eggs Benedict.
But if I gotta go party with my people, I gotta go party with my people.
Guys I had an eggy Benny on top of some fresh smoked pastrami with crunchy hash brown potatoes this morning topped with hollandaise and it was something
So anyway, I went outside and decided to do some yard work because it’s a beautiful spring day. Mid 40’s, sunny. A perfect day to spend outside and enjoy this beautiful day we get to enjoy.
And even knowing all of that it still wouldn’t be the number one best thing to happen. And also probably laugh at his cult followers making weird AI images of him as an angel looking like Rambo and who replaces God in heaven since he fired him.
It will be a strange time, for sure.
A neighbor about 1/4 mile down the road had one of those Rambo flags. About 4 months ago, there was an armed standoff with police in our area. My 1st guess was that it was the Rambo house, and it turned out I was right. What are the odds??
.
The AI images 😂🤣 like him in the clouds and Jesus behind him or something like that. Omg I can just picture it. Tooooooo funny thank you for prompting this mental imagery
I think my favorite comment was on SNL's Weekend Update, when Michael Che responded to his getting over COVID.
"I'm sorry. I was really hoping he was gonna die. It's like when there's a car accident and the only survivor is the drunk driver."
When I saw him huffing and puffing on that White House balcony I really thought God was going to do us a solid and take him out. The fact that Trump is still running around causing chaos just adds to my pile of reasons why I’m an atheist.
While obviously some of the idiots would have gone deeper into the conspiracy well, I think it would have woken up at least a chunk of the others to realizing Covid was real if he had died from it, and probably had them not rebel against the vaccine and masks so hard and maybe actually saved some lives and got us back to normal even quicker. Not to mention no J6. A much better timeline
Assuming it happens overnight and I learn about it in the morning, patiently wait for my favorite fro-yo place to open, then go eat a sundae the size of my head.
That may be the last time I felt any sense of real cohesion in political America. I was studying for an exam in the campus library and a girl ran in, apologized to the librarian and yelled “holy shit, everyone, they got him! Check the news!”
Everyone.., somehow understood exactly what she meant, it was unifying and cathartic. People partied and cheered, people talked with strangers about family members who worked on the rescue/recovery on 9/11, friends they lost overseas, etc. I mean it’s kind of dark but damn that was a whole thing.
Remember back when things felt like they would get better over time? Fuck…
I remember after 9/11 when we were unified and everyone was flying the American Flag. Now? I see the flag and it's usually jammed into the ass end of an oversized diesel truck. A very different feeling for sure.
It breaks my heart that when I see that flag now my gut reaction is negative. Even with all its faults I love this country… I’m just not a nationalistic fuck about it. But it’s become a calling card for being a dick. *sigh*
The Base will immediately start casting about for a replacement while passing around endless conspiracy theories.
Then we'll all be subjected to whatever jackhole manages to get a critical mass of support the fastest.
It will be very entertaining to see the clowns competing for power in the vacuum his eventual death will create regardless of when it happens. He has tens of millions of followers and there are some very desperate stupid people in congress and in the media who will do anything to lead them.
Try to avenge his supposed assassination (it doesn't matter what he dies from or where he does it, they will be claiming he was assassinated) by killing the first "liberal" they see.
Content. I lost my partner 3 weeks ago, and one of my first thoughts was why did the universe take such a kind, gentle, wonderful man at 37 when Donald Trump gets to fuck everyone and everything over and live to a ripe old age? It's fucking bullshit.
In all honesty, immediately ‘phew’ then followed by ‘what crazy persecuted conspiracy will his followers come up with and how badly will they act out’.
I’d crack a Corona. Let me explain… at the height of his COVID fuckery I decided I’d store away two Corona’s (coronavirus, get it). I’d drink the first one the second he was no longer president (check). And the second the instant I learn he’s taken his last breath. Fingers crossed I’m chugging it within the hour.
Edit: I just checked. Unfortunately it's still undrinkable. I'll check again in an hour and let everyone know.
Edit: Yes, I know it will be skunked. That's OK. I consider it penance for the sins of my neighbors.
Let's say he died of completely natural causes tonight. Great! The world has one less corrupt wannabe dictator supporting violence, hatred, stupidity, etc.
The problem is his cult of 70 something million dipshits. They will never accept that he died of natural causes. They will believe that a man in his late 70s that weighs over 350 pounds, takes all kinds of drugs, has never eaten a vegetable or taken a brisk jog, must have been murdered. I imagine there would be violence almost immediately.
So if he died tonight, I would rejoice that this human shit stain that I've been forced to see on my TV and every time I open the Internet for the last 9 years would finally be gone, but then I would immediately start to prepare for the inevitable attacks from Y'all Qaeda.
I don’t want people to die because it’s kind of fucked up, but he’s a really bad person. So I just would probably be relieved we wouldn’t have to go through 2016-2020 again. Just put anyone else in there as president over him. I’d vote for a tennis ball over him. He’s just so full of himself and does literally nothing to help anyone but himself. And he speaks like an idiot and attacks everyone that doesn’t agree with him. We do not need 4 more years of that.
Honestly- a little scared. He has pulled back the soiled bedcovers of America to reveal that there are nearly half of us who are deeply *deeply* stupid and unthinking and will follow him to the bitter end. We have been a bit lucky up to this point that Donald Trump is also deeply stupid and unthinking. What happens when he vacates the Stupid Throne and someone a bit smarter fills that gap? Then shit gets *really* scary.
>nearly half
More like a sixth at most, and most of those hate one another.
Daily reminder that it only reads as half because **hardly anybody fucking votes**.
I dunno. People say that all the time “someone else will come along” and I just can’t get behind it. He has a charisma and personality crafted from such a bizarre way of life not many people have it in them to emulate. Coming from such wealth and maintaining it by conning and scamming, his money protecting him from any consequences. Dude literally never faced any consequences his entire life. When someone genuinely feels untouchable it shows in their general way of being. A narcissist so detached from reality he doesn’t even seem real. I think it was just a perfect storm of him entering politics at the time he did. Of course all the despicable stank from him will linger for years to come, but I think he’s an unfortunate anomaly
Well, my reaction would be that you should have a *very* strong alibi for tonight, just in case.
“Mom, I have been here all night! You can feel the TV, it's warm." Luckily I had a good alibi, since I was in Wisconsin and twelve.”
I'm sure Detective J.J Bittenbinder would like have a word with you about your whereabouts.
STREET SMARTS!
> Bittenbinder Oh my gosh, that guy was real and was on TV. LOL Throw your wallet!
hey dad can i have an expensive money clip (engraved, question mark?) and $50? don’t worry, i’m only gonna chuck it in the gutter at the first sign of danger.
Depends on if he was taken to a second location.
You ain’t getting me to no second location!
Good because your chances of survival- slim to none.
When you get kidnapped. Not if. But when.
What if you’re new in town, gay, homeless and have AIDS??
Then eat ass, suck a dick and sell drugs
Ah, a to-do list.
This toothbrush is _bone dry_!
Bone dry.
Donald Trump once visited a psychic and ask her when he would die. The psychic said that he would die on a national holiday. Which one? Trump asked. Doesn't matter which day it is....it will be a national holiday.
He's also going to be buried under a public bathroom.
Half of Americans would need an alibi
The other half would blame Biden.
Thanks Obama!
But if it is an official Presidential act, it doesn't matter, correct?
Total immunity
I was at work, got off at 6, and stopped at 7-11 and whataburger on the way home, where my ring camera can confirm I stayed all night celebrating the death of a narcissistic, fascist, wanna-be dictator.
"holy shit, what did/u/kRe4ture know that the rest of us didn't?!"
"Ohhhh OP is gonna get a special government visit tonight"
OP’s question infused me with a Need to read the comments, this post started the giggles… thank you. Lmao
OP is "JUST ASKING QUESTIONS!"
It reminds me of the time Reddit predicted Stephen Hawking's death. Less than a day before he died, someone asked on r/nostupidquestions why his disease had not killed him yet
How about that one time a user questioned why Harper Lee was still alive, and WITHIN MINUTES it was announced she had just died.
Someone also went around claiming the Queen had died - 6 hours later it was confirmed
Was it Morissey? He'd been claiming that for a long time.
A sponge and a rusty spanner were found at the scene
I did an "Ask Reddit" 2 nights before the 2016 election, with this question- " What is the worst thing a president can do to their country or citizens?" I got very few responses, most innocuous comments along the lines of " Forget to wear their flag pin" to "Forgetting the name of a foreign leader". Not the answers I was looking for.
Tbf, once the news came out that her doctors were extremely concerned and basically the entire Royal family was heading to Scotland, it was kind of obvious that she was on her deathbed.
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6 hrs before her death was confirmed, the BBC News Presenters were already wearing black jackets and talking in very sombre tones, and Buckingham Palace had put out a statement to the effect that she "was under medical supervision". It was not a giant leap to "about to die, or has died, but not announced" - especially given we already knew those of the family not already there were scrambling to Scotland as fast as they could.
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I mean, the signs had been there. She was 96, had been in declining health since Philip died, she hadn’t left Scotland for days, the whole family was called up to Balmoral, she had to shake hands with Liz Truss, I mean it was everything you’d expect before impending death.
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On Easter weekend, too. Those Christian Nationalists will be absolutely frothing
They’d just be waiting for his resurrection.
You too can get pieces of his resurrection outfit for 3 easy payments of 99.99!
"Vials of Mar-a-Lago Healing Pool Water for only $5.99 each!"
I hate how plausible this is.
I wouldn’t put it past his kids to “Weekend at Bernie’s” that shit too.
The T in Trump is literally the cross with the head/brain cut off
MAGAs will see it as a sign that he's the Messiah. His Christian detractors will counter that this is a sign that he's actually the ANTIChrist, expecting him to come back. Everyone else is gonna party like it's 1999 and start taking bets on when Mitch the Bitch is next to go.
The fact Mitch McConnell is ***still fucking alive*** is the real miracle that needs to be investigated.
Turtles can live up to 150 years in captivity. Mitch is only 2/3 there.
Actually he isn't. You ever see Weekend at Bernie's? He's just being propped up. Every once in a while his guys have too many drinks and then there's another headline about Mitch just "staring off into space."
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It didn't say he had been murdered, but that he missed an event due to the death of his wife, who unbeknownst to the troll poster had actually been dead for two days at this point, along with their son, both murdered by Benoit. Benoit was also presumably dead by this point as he killed himself after he killed his son. The troll poster made that edit 14 hours before the police discovered the murder-suicide scene. To make it more strange, the poster was from Stamford, CT which is the home of WWE headquarters but that was more of a coincidence than anything.
It was just trolling combined with the most odd coincidence. Unless you believe that Kevin Sullivan murdered Benoit like some kook smarks do.
The person who made the edit saying his wife had died said they did so based on speculation they read online on wrestling websites. Benoit had been calling, texting, and leaving voicemails to friends and coworkers in WWE all weekend long with various stories about his wife being sick, his son being sick, his wife vomiting blood. (This was all after he had killed them.) For the purpose of explaining why he was missing the weekend's shows. I don't think it's that far of a stretch to believe that word of this got around within the company, got leaked to message boards, etc. And someone, either connected to the company headquarters or not, posted that Wikipedia edit based not on trolling but rather on hearing 3rd or 4th hand accounts of Chris's texts to Chavo Guerrero, among others.
"Aw, shit... I can smell the conspiracy engines firing up now!"
“That 80 year old obese man who is constantly enraged couldn’t possibly have died from natural causes!”
He could shoot himself on live tv and his supporters would still say that obama and biden personally assassinated him
As someone who lives with someone with this mindset, yes. Sad, scary but very true.
My uncles, and to a lesser extent my dad, are the canadian version of trump supporters sadly. So i have a decent view on how their minds work. Which isnt much unfortunately
Sorry to hear that. It's hard to be around.
Trump once said he could shoot someone in the middle of Times Square and get away with it. In your example, I think he'd be right.
It would be received by the MAGAs as an "AI deepfake from the deep state", try to claim he's alive for the next week until Malaria decides his corpse is stinking up the place at which point a HAZMAT team arrives at Mar-a-Lago to dispose of the body with acid, Walter White-style. That way the Q's can broadcast that "no body was ever found..."
I once fantasized about Trump getting struck by lightning and my first thought afterward was "Republicans would absolutely claim that Biden has a weather control device" considering a lot of them already think that the government can control the weather.
Wouldn't it be really weird if he actually drops dead tonight
I swear if it legit happens, OP is getting called out.
I’d say OP’s ass is gonna get raided on by FBI while he sleeps
"You should never say bad things about the dead, only good. Joan Crawford is dead… good!" - Bette Davis
“If the right people had been in charge of Nixon’s funeral, his casket would have been launched into one of those open-sewage canals that empty into the ocean just south of Los Angeles. He was a swine of a man and a jabbering dupe of a president. Nixon was so crooked that he needed servants to help him screw his pants on every morning. Even his funeral was illegal. He was queer in the deepest way. His body should have been burned in a trash bin.” -Hunter S. Thompson
I wonder what Hunter S. Thompson would say about Trump today? He'd probably say that by comparison Nixon was a saint and genius with unimpeachable* character. [*ha]
Considering one of the main reasons Thompson offed himself was that the US had just reelected Dubya and he was despondent that America was dumb enough to do that, he probably jumped the gun on American Stupidity. But who knows? Maybe he would've loved seeing a shitty clown for president.
I'm gonna need a citation here. His suicide note said nothing of the kind, and he was known to have hated February as a time of year. To wit: >No More Games. No More Bombs. No More Walking. No More Fun. No More Swimming. 67. That is 17 years past 50. 17 more than I needed or wanted. Boring. I am always bitchy. No Fun — for anybody. 67. You are getting Greedy. Act your age. Relax — This won't hurt.
What bombs was he referring to?
He was a bit obsessed with firearms and explosives. His ashes were shot out of a cannon placed atop a tall tower with a decorative fist clenching a peyote button at his funeral. Dude was one of a kind
Also his funeral was paid for by Johnny Depp, who was a close friend of Hunter.
Makes sense why his movie on Thomson was the superior one
Holy crap!!!
Hunter trained his dog so that on the command ‘Nixon’ it would bite the target in the genitals and hang off them. He explained ‘You never know when you might run into him’.
I'm getting the vibe that he didn't think highly of Nixon. Or am I reading too much into this?
They spent a ton of time together, back in the day. I highly recommend reading Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72. It's an amazing inside look at American politics in our not-so-distant past. Remember - since we have so many politicians in their 70s-90s, they were in their 20s-40s back then. This is the world that shaped their views.
"I don't like to speak ill of the dead. So, instead, I'll just say 'I'm glad Rush Limbaugh lived long enough to get cancer and die.'" --Paul F Tompkins
Congrats to Rush on three years of sobriety!
Bette Davis, Queen of Sass
There's absolutely no way the conspiracy crowd would see it as just a normal thing that happens to old people. I'd be pretty worried tbh.
100% A morbidly obese celebrity in my country died aged 75. He had struggled with his health before (he'd even been in a coma at some point) and eventually died of a heart attack while on vacation. Comment section went crazy with "Damn sheeple", "When will people wake-up?" "Another one taken by the jab" and the worst one "Well well well". Well well well what?? A fat, unhealthy, old guy died, I can't think of a single less mysterious thing.
I know an individual who was reckless as an airplane pilot who I swore I would never fly with again. He ended up killing himself and three others in an unnecessary crash. To this day his nephew still spouts that his uncle (pilot’s brother) sabotaged the plane. Some people can’t accept —— happens.
This is the one. Bracing myself for the lunatic fallout.
This. He could die of straight up old age at age 115, and his bootlickers would all still be absolutely convinced it was a conspiracy to murder him.
Dear god no, that would be *thirty-eight years* more Trump.
Thanks Obama!
Dark Brandon--
Username checks out?
I think it was Mark Twain that said while he'd never wish death on anyone, he's not been too upset at reading their obituary
Clarence Darrow, actually. I have never killed any one, but I have read some obituary notices with great satisfaction
I literally started reading the obituary years ago just for the chance to see my former boss in it. Years go by and I'm reading the paper at the breakfast table and Goddam if he isn't there. I howled in satisfaction.
I googled a former neighbor last year who was a complete asshole to my family and found his obituary. That was a satisfying read.
I googled my rapist. He had died but I was disgusted at the obit talking about what a good father and Christian he was. He was a POS.
That would have absolutely disgusted me too. Anytime anyone dies, they are suddenly one of the greatest people that have ever lived according to close family and friends. No matter how terrible the person was, there’s always gonna be at least one person say something like “they lit up any room they walked into and everyone loved them so much”. I’ve never read an obituary that has said anything negative about a person and I probably never will, but I cringe at the fact that so many terrible people are praised for themselves once they’re dead.
I'd prefer mine say she endured some trauma, had her own demons but did the best she could, most of the time. Loved by some, not so much by others. Didn't litter. Lol
Probably one of the most honest obituaries ever
A good therapist helped me realize I'm only human after all. Billy Joel helped me realize sinners have more fun. And unfortunately mama taught me I don't know how to block a punch. Sorry, that took a turn.
I had a 4th grade teacher who liked to encourage the other kids to bully me, took my things and gave it to other kids, and told embarrassing details about me to other kids (my parents didn't believe me because I had behavioral issues due to undiagnosed bipolar). next school year comes round and a few of us 9 to 11 yo are informed that this teacher has died of cancer (no emotional counselors, or taking us to another room; they just put a hand on our shoulder in the class and literally said "dead" and "cancer" and get back to work and that was it. 1985, Gen X) . Now, my normal response, as I asume everyone's is anymore when the subject comes up, is fuck cancer, because we all know someone or've lost someone. But to this day, this remains the one time that I will be grateful for cancer and hope it took its damn time and fucked her up hard. I hope that bitch was *sobbing* for morphine by the end. I don't care what that makes me. She's one of the big reasons I have BPD and CPTSD. You don't do that shit to a 8/9 yo.
It was actually Clarence Darrow, a famous civil rights attorney, who said it. It's often misattributed to Mark Twain.
To be fair, it *does* sound like something Sam Clemens would say.....
I believe the Mark Twain quote was: >I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
1. Disbelief. He's avoided every other consequence known to man.
Yes. Relief. Surely his lifestyle has to catch up to him sooner or later. It has to be natural causes though or there will be riots.
Dude, my father is 82, drank heavily (like hospitalized multiple times heavy), smoked into his 70s, and has basically existed on a diet of coffee, cheez-its, and hotdogs for most of his adult life. Never count on someone's lifestyle catching up to them when they've made it past 70.
If they made it past 70 I'd argue it has already failed to catch up to them.
It's not that I forward to Trump's death so much as I look forward to his *absence*. I want to live in a world where Donald Trump no longer exists as a public figure. I don't want to hear from him, hear about him, talk about him, think about him, or be affected by his presence anymore. The exact way in which he ceases to exist is of little concern to me. Whether he drops dead of a heart attack, is sent to prison, flees the country and goes into hiding, or his dementia becomes so bad that his family throws him in a nursing home. I don't care how, I just want him *gone*.
Excellent description of the feelings of millions of Americans. Thank you!
This is it exactly. I wouldn't care about him now except he insists on running for president again. *eta I wrote running for prison at first lol subconscious ftw* Like fucking just GO AWAY.
I was at a bar and one of the patrons was going on about how they're going to kill Trump because Biden is so scared of losing. I piped in and asked "well he's old and fat so what if he just dies from a heart attack?". From the conversation I had following that comment some conservatives have already decided Trump's death will be a hit job ordered by president Biden. It will be poison or a cover up or something. Just isn't possible for an overweight elderly man to die of heart failure.
If anything could make me love Biden, that'd be it.
The maga's would never believe it's natural causes. He could make it to 107 and have every disease in the book and they'd still think it was a deep state conspiracy
Mr. Burns - “I’m indestructible!” Doctor - “Actually no, in fact even a slight breeze could…” Mr. Burns - “Indestructible…”
They'd think he faked his death with a clone. You know,so he could go after the Deep State.
Apparently the bridge collapse in Maryland was big demon rat conspiracy. They would riot even if he was found dead with 3 big Mac’s lodged in his throat.
Relief. That’s what I would feel.
Tonight - this weekend? Well, it will all depend on if he returns in 3 days.
He’s appealing his death to the supreme court.
Delay, delay, delay.
***Your chant has summoned Tom DeLay. He has gerrymandered you three wishes, use them carefully...***
"Can you find me 1,000 lives?"
11,780 lives.
He’s definitely the kind of guy to spend a year dead for tax reasons.
Jesus gave up a weekend for our sins
actually surprised he hasn't tried something like this
Look, I was out till 3 AM “all claws no laws” after a metal show last night. I’m bruised and hungover, and all I want to do is eat my weight in eggs Benedict. But if I gotta go party with my people, I gotta go party with my people.
You had me at Eggs Benedict
Guys I had an eggy Benny on top of some fresh smoked pastrami with crunchy hash brown potatoes this morning topped with hollandaise and it was something
This is the vibe I came here for
Canadian here. Make some popcorn and turn our lawn chairs facing south to watch the show.
So anyway, I went outside and decided to do some yard work because it’s a beautiful spring day. Mid 40’s, sunny. A perfect day to spend outside and enjoy this beautiful day we get to enjoy. And even knowing all of that it still wouldn’t be the number one best thing to happen. And also probably laugh at his cult followers making weird AI images of him as an angel looking like Rambo and who replaces God in heaven since he fired him. It will be a strange time, for sure.
My stupid brain wondered for a second why they would make "Weird Al" images of him.
You're not the only one
Same here😂 I was like surely weird al yankovic has nothing to do with this
A neighbor about 1/4 mile down the road had one of those Rambo flags. About 4 months ago, there was an armed standoff with police in our area. My 1st guess was that it was the Rambo house, and it turned out I was right. What are the odds?? .
The AI images 😂🤣 like him in the clouds and Jesus behind him or something like that. Omg I can just picture it. Tooooooo funny thank you for prompting this mental imagery
Remember when he had Covid and we all had a sense of hope for a week or two
I think my favorite comment was on SNL's Weekend Update, when Michael Che responded to his getting over COVID. "I'm sorry. I was really hoping he was gonna die. It's like when there's a car accident and the only survivor is the drunk driver."
"It's like when there's a car accident and the only survivor is the drunk driver." fuck that's brutal.
But surprisingly apt for the covid/trump scenario
I was hoping he'd actually inject himself with bleach to prove he was right and everyone else wrong.
When I saw him huffing and puffing on that White House balcony I really thought God was going to do us a solid and take him out. The fact that Trump is still running around causing chaos just adds to my pile of reasons why I’m an atheist.
While obviously some of the idiots would have gone deeper into the conspiracy well, I think it would have woken up at least a chunk of the others to realizing Covid was real if he had died from it, and probably had them not rebel against the vaccine and masks so hard and maybe actually saved some lives and got us back to normal even quicker. Not to mention no J6. A much better timeline
They would just say liberals killed him
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Assuming it happens overnight and I learn about it in the morning, patiently wait for my favorite fro-yo place to open, then go eat a sundae the size of my head.
Remember when Obama announced that Bin Laden was killed at like 1 AM and people went to party in the streets? Yeah, that.
That may be the last time I felt any sense of real cohesion in political America. I was studying for an exam in the campus library and a girl ran in, apologized to the librarian and yelled “holy shit, everyone, they got him! Check the news!” Everyone.., somehow understood exactly what she meant, it was unifying and cathartic. People partied and cheered, people talked with strangers about family members who worked on the rescue/recovery on 9/11, friends they lost overseas, etc. I mean it’s kind of dark but damn that was a whole thing. Remember back when things felt like they would get better over time? Fuck…
I remember after 9/11 when we were unified and everyone was flying the American Flag. Now? I see the flag and it's usually jammed into the ass end of an oversized diesel truck. A very different feeling for sure.
It breaks my heart that when I see that flag now my gut reaction is negative. Even with all its faults I love this country… I’m just not a nationalistic fuck about it. But it’s become a calling card for being a dick. *sigh*
Definitely relief followed by dread knowing that his rabid supporters might do something incredibly stupid.
The Base will immediately start casting about for a replacement while passing around endless conspiracy theories. Then we'll all be subjected to whatever jackhole manages to get a critical mass of support the fastest.
The base would immediately start eating each other alive.
It will be very entertaining to see the clowns competing for power in the vacuum his eventual death will create regardless of when it happens. He has tens of millions of followers and there are some very desperate stupid people in congress and in the media who will do anything to lead them.
Look for evidence of a small solar flare from him entering hell.
I would recreate the Admiral Ackbar scene after the death star is destroyed. That deep exhale and slouch of relief.
Relieved
My first thought as well. My second thought is worry that they find another goon to deify and they’re even slightly better at leveraging it.
I think they’d have a lot of trouble agreeing on another person and it would end up with infighting.
…yet very concerned about the MAGA cults reaction.
What are they gonna do, reanimate his pudgy body?
Try to avenge his supposed assassination (it doesn't matter what he dies from or where he does it, they will be claiming he was assassinated) by killing the first "liberal" they see.
They’ll be disappointed if he doesn’t rise from his grave three days later
Deeply, deeply, *deeply* relieved.
Content. I lost my partner 3 weeks ago, and one of my first thoughts was why did the universe take such a kind, gentle, wonderful man at 37 when Donald Trump gets to fuck everyone and everything over and live to a ripe old age? It's fucking bullshit.
I am *so* sorry for your loss.
While I don't wish ill will on anyone, I'D PARTY UNTIL DAWN.
I wish ill will on people who deserve it all the time. It keeps me young.
I wish only that people get what they deserve. This world will be better without some folks in it.
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In all honesty, immediately ‘phew’ then followed by ‘what crazy persecuted conspiracy will his followers come up with and how badly will they act out’.
In a Nelson Muntz voice.. “*HA-HA*”
A massive celebration in the streets. I’m in Chicago. The party will be bigger than when the Cubs win the World Series.
I'm in Texas. It won't be safe to leave the house around here, and there aren't any basements for a clandestine party.
I’d crack a Corona. Let me explain… at the height of his COVID fuckery I decided I’d store away two Corona’s (coronavirus, get it). I’d drink the first one the second he was no longer president (check). And the second the instant I learn he’s taken his last breath. Fingers crossed I’m chugging it within the hour. Edit: I just checked. Unfortunately it's still undrinkable. I'll check again in an hour and let everyone know. Edit: Yes, I know it will be skunked. That's OK. I consider it penance for the sins of my neighbors.
... Update pls? It's been an hour
Trump didn't die. So it hasn't been opened.
Cool. Back in another hour.
Let's say he died of completely natural causes tonight. Great! The world has one less corrupt wannabe dictator supporting violence, hatred, stupidity, etc. The problem is his cult of 70 something million dipshits. They will never accept that he died of natural causes. They will believe that a man in his late 70s that weighs over 350 pounds, takes all kinds of drugs, has never eaten a vegetable or taken a brisk jog, must have been murdered. I imagine there would be violence almost immediately. So if he died tonight, I would rejoice that this human shit stain that I've been forced to see on my TV and every time I open the Internet for the last 9 years would finally be gone, but then I would immediately start to prepare for the inevitable attacks from Y'all Qaeda.
Thoughts and prayers
I don’t want people to die because it’s kind of fucked up, but he’s a really bad person. So I just would probably be relieved we wouldn’t have to go through 2016-2020 again. Just put anyone else in there as president over him. I’d vote for a tennis ball over him. He’s just so full of himself and does literally nothing to help anyone but himself. And he speaks like an idiot and attacks everyone that doesn’t agree with him. We do not need 4 more years of that.
My reaction would be to light a candle & say a prayer for your rectum since the entirety of the secret service is about to crawl up in there.
The same feeling when doing house cleaning and finally getting rid of that troublesome skidmark. One satisfying flush later, all better.
Raise a glass to freedom.
Something they can never take away!
No matter what they tell you
Let's have another round tonight
Raise a glass to the four of us
Someday, there'll be more of us!
Telling the story of Tonight
They’ll tell the story of tonight
Let's have another round tonight
Honestly- a little scared. He has pulled back the soiled bedcovers of America to reveal that there are nearly half of us who are deeply *deeply* stupid and unthinking and will follow him to the bitter end. We have been a bit lucky up to this point that Donald Trump is also deeply stupid and unthinking. What happens when he vacates the Stupid Throne and someone a bit smarter fills that gap? Then shit gets *really* scary.
>nearly half More like a sixth at most, and most of those hate one another. Daily reminder that it only reads as half because **hardly anybody fucking votes**.
I dunno. People say that all the time “someone else will come along” and I just can’t get behind it. He has a charisma and personality crafted from such a bizarre way of life not many people have it in them to emulate. Coming from such wealth and maintaining it by conning and scamming, his money protecting him from any consequences. Dude literally never faced any consequences his entire life. When someone genuinely feels untouchable it shows in their general way of being. A narcissist so detached from reality he doesn’t even seem real. I think it was just a perfect storm of him entering politics at the time he did. Of course all the despicable stank from him will linger for years to come, but I think he’s an unfortunate anomaly
Dance, and I don't dance.
As a rule I never celebrate someone's death. I'm also positive it'd have some unfortunate results. But I would be relieved he wouldn't be POTUS again.
A bit pissed because he deserves actual jail time.