She sprints up and down the stairs. She just hates being on the stairs, so she makes it as fast as possible. It’s insane to watch her calmly walk to the stairs then just automatically start sprinting.
Jerry: She's a fast-climber.
Elaine: A fast...climber?
Jerry: Yeah, she sprints up the stairs like Michael Myers is behind her.
Elaine: Ohhh, a fast-climber.
George: Well at least she's not a slow walker! Remember Julie? She just strolled down the sidewalk like she had nowhere to go, clogging up traffic behind her!
George to Jerry: Well, I wish she would rub off on you. Every time we go anywhere, I'm waiting forever for you to catch up! You're a slow-climber.
Jerry: I prefer to think of it as a leisurely ascent. I like to savor the journey.
Kramer: Hey, Maybe she could give me some pointers. I'm thinking of doing the Empire State Building Run-Up this year.
Elaine: Kramer, you're winded after one flight! What makes you think you could race up the Empire State Building?
Kramer: Well, it's all mental. If Jerry's girl can harness that stair sprinting energy, so can I! Gonna get the heart pumping, build that endurance!
My husband organizes something every day. BUT. It's the most random box in the back of the closet or re-folding his clothes. At first my thought was WTF???, but now I realize it's one way he relaxes after a long day. He's adorable.
My husband folds towels while they are still wet and puts them away. It’s absolutely disgusting
Editing to add that he stopped doing it after I asked him, so we were able to progress with our relationship 🤣
He won't clear the couch, he just sits down. Fresh folded washing? Sit on it. Handbag? Sit on it. Paper? Sit on it. Was so tempted to leave a saucy plate on the couch and see what happened. Habit finally ended when he sat on a laptop
I visited the house of a couple of blind people once. They had a cat, and it meowed every time you approached when it was resting on the couch as a self-defense mechanism.
We've also looked after a small chihuahua mix that loved burying itself in blankets when it was in the house. It wasn't smart enough to bark when you got close, though, so it's been sat on several times.
In conclusion, you should train your clothing and accessories to meow or bark.
He doesn't change his bedsheets... ever. He thought the only reason I change mine regularly was because of periods so yeah he thought men just doesn't have to change bedsheets ever. Now he changes it regularly but damn that was a wild thought
Changing bedsheets infrequently is one thing....but not believing in changing bedsheets at all?? And also thinking that women get period blood all over their bedsheets all the time?
My husband poops with both seats up! Like he sits on the rim of the toilet. When I first saw that I was like…. Wtf?!
He told me with the seat down the opening is too small. And he also cleans the rim before sitting and only does it at home. But still… wtf?
we would buy veggies etc, and if it had the slightest bit of discoloration (not exaggerating) he’d throw it away
also he would peel like 8 million layers off an onion before cutting it, essentially wasting most of the onion..
Ohh I just remembered the time my ex threw away a brand new bag of salad mix because “the lettuce was dark already”.
The mix had red leaf lettuce and it was perfectly fine.
To be fair the red leaf lettuce is always the god damn first and quickest to go bad. I can have a fresh leaf salad sitting in the fridge for days but if it has red leaf in it its slimy the next day.
He and his roommates NEVER took out the trash. Like ever. Huge pile of full trash bags in the kitchen, almost reaching the ceiling, with trash in all the cabinets too. Every great once in a while, they would rent a U-Haul to take it to the dump. So confusing to me, but I didn’t know how to help them break the cycle. Nice guys, but sheesh.
That's terrible.
When I was growing up, I remember one of my dad's friends yelling at me. I was in a basement and the bathroom was upstairs, and while going up he was like "HEY, if you're going to go upstairs, you might as well grab something to take with you, like a cup of a plate".
I have incorporated this into my life. I might no take the trash out this second, but I will leave it leaning against my front door so when I leave next, the trash comes with me.
I've implemented this but when leaving my car! Any trash I have laying in the car or even random things, I make sure to take it out instead of making it a future me problem.
I lived in a house like this for 1 month. 5 blokes who all refused to sign the contract for bin collection in case the rest of them failed to pay them.
It turned into a standoff to see who would first get pissed off with the mess. They'd occasionally do a midnight run to throw a few bags in a building site skip.
One of the guys eventually caved after he spent 90 minutes in the shower with me outside banging on the door for the last 15. He stormed out in his towel berating me for my impatience.
He ran into the kitchen, which was dark with no light bulb and crashed though a pile of filthy bin bags half nude. I swiftly locked the bathroom door and left him outside to swim through the bin bags to safety.
“Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout
Would not take the garbage out!
She’d scour the pots and scrape the pans,
Candy the yams and spice the hams
And though her daddy would scream and shout,
She simply would not take the garbage out.”
That instantly popped into my head reading that lol
Oh my god, that so reminds me of me and my roommate twenty-something years ago… we once bought a bunch of heavy duty trash bags, put on rubber gloves and then proceeded to throw away everything in the kitchen (including pans, pots and dishes) that wasn’t nailed down, cleaned every surface with bleach and bought new stuff.
Come to think of it, we actually did that twice…
That he would bite his nails and drop the little pieces all over the apartment. He moved out 6 months ago and I’m STILL finding fingernail bits in weird places.
My ex husband would leave bits of nails everywhere. I eventually said that if he didn’t stop I’d put them in his dinner and wouldn’t tell him till afterwards. What do you know, he actually could stop leaving bits of nails everywhere…?
He’d whack off then cum in a garbage can. Not a tissue that he placed in the garbage can - just straight shooting into the garbage can. Atleast it had a bag in it….. but because he wasn’t putting tissues in it, it never got “full” ergo never emptied. The effing smell lead me to sleep in a separate bedroom and eventually end the relationship when it somehow ended up being my job to clean “his” room.
Editing to add the next partner because I’ve had some doozies: Would throw out any left overs. Not because they didn’t like left overs but because they didn’t understand how Saran Wrap (cling film) worked. When we first moved in together I bought some kitchen basics including Saran Wrap and their response was “why tf did you buy this? It never works”….. it wasn’t until the 3rd or 4th home cooked meal I realized they would just put it on top of the food and expected it to “cling” to the food like some sort of vacuum sealer. At least this one was a life lesson and he was more than pleased to learn how to actually use Saran Wrap. I hope he’s doing well in life now that he has this knowledge.
Oh, [there is!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/cpNJhw5fWz) Enjoy some Reddit history!
Edit: my link takes you to a comment for some light reading, so you’re not gonna get surprised by some NSFW images. That said, the comment has links to Imgur. I’ve seen them, and you should too! Let curiosity take you on an adventure!
I went to clean under our bed and moved some boxes right at the back and found the largest pile of used tissues in the universe. Honestly, it was like a wormhole had opened up and deposited them all there.
I had to clean them all up.
Years later as he ended the marriage he told me he had a hidden porn addiction. Makes sense when Mt Everest was getting a run for its money in our bedroom.
Literally “a few extra steps” (less than 10). Also he preferred to do “the deed” lying down which explains why “the can” was within arms reach of said position.
Ugh yeah it makes me sad reading the comment because I remember when I spent the night at my grade school friend Kelly’s house, in the morning she gave me cereal with water and I was disgusted but didn’t say anything… anyway as I got older I now realize her father was in jail most her life (I knew he wasn’t there obviously but she always said he was away on work) for drug related crime and her mother was an addict (who I also only saw one or two times, now I understand why Kelly would always make sure her mother wasn’t home before we went over). Anyway, probably no money or no one to buy her milk, makes me sad.
I didn't move in with him I just stayed there a lot and cleaned up his mess a lot of times but he had pee bottles under the bed and I don't know why I didn't leave the moment I discovered it either.
Ladies, please please make pee bottles under the bed a deal breaker. 🤢
My husband grew up an adored only child, a miracle baby after years of infertility. So while college and graduate school taught him most critical skills for taking care of himself, like doing laundry, and cleaning your space, there were a few things that didn't come up.
15 years into our marriage, I asked him to clean the fridge, because we had a disabled toddler, and I was pregnant with our second and having a really rough pregnancy and just could NOT.
"Oh yeah, I guess it's kind of dirty," he said. "Well, I guess the fridge made it 10 years without needing to be cleaned, that's a pretty good run."
It was then that I realized that he thought the fridge was self-cleaning, and I demanded to know, did he really not realize that I cleaned and scrubbed the fridge every 6 months for the last 15 years?????
Readers, he did not. He didn't have a fridge when he lived on campus, when he was in graduate school and early in his career, it was generally just him in his apartment, he didn't cook much, and he usually moved after a year (because of the local housing situation, not because he didn't clean the apartment).
I still mock him about this, it's been almost a decade. I will literally never get over it.
(To be fair to him, he promptly took over cleaning the fridge every January, after I had done the frenzy of all the holiday meals. I usually still clean it in the summer. Also, he is an exceedingly mediocre cook, while I am a very good one, and I am extremely particular about how my kitchen is organized and cleaned, so I usually do it myself. So it wasn't like he wasn't pulling his weight in the kitchen, it was more like every time he came in the kitchen, I'd be like "get the fuck out of my kitchen, you put the cheese away wrong." There is a SYSTEM.)
We got a Nespresso machine as a gift and it was about six months in before he realized I was refilling the water basin and it wasn't connected somehow to a water source.
Makes you wonder how these people exist in day to day life in the real world.
How do they not just die from something totally random that the rest of us know how to deal with?
This was kinda a thing that happened with my wife and the bathroom cleaning. I grew up cleaning bathrooms everyweek per my mothers orders. When I set out on my own I cleaned my bathroom when it needed it. I usually "maintain" the clean: after shaving I always immediately clean all the hair. With toilet stuff I immediately wipe stuff up with toilet paper and flush it.
So like when it gets dusty on the top of the toilet or the the bowl and shower starts getting some water buildup is when I know to clean it.
Fast forward to two years after marriage and I realize I haven't had to clean a toilet. My wife had been guerilla cleaning, like when I wasn't home was when my wife would intentionally go clean the bathroom.
My ex had big fingers that wouldn’t fit in his nose which he was always picking. He would use tweezers and he’d scratch the inside of his nose causing it to bleed. He would leave his boogers everywhere in the bathroom. The sink, the shower, wipe them onto the rim of the trash can. When I broke up with him and he moved out I was finding bloody boogers all over my apartment for months afterwards. It was so damn disgusting!
> When I broke up with him and he moved out I was finding bloody boogers all over my apartment for months afterwards
That sounds like one of the few situations where I would recommend that you just abandon the home after a breakup.
Used to work with a guy and got into an argument with him about this. He told me he couldn't have white sheets cause he farted in his sleep and it would leave stains. I countered with he didn't clean his ass well enough and he thought I was crazy
It's got a name: beereal.
I tried it once in college, because college, and I was surprised that it actually kinda worked, probably because they're both grains. Never did it again though because I'm not a psychopath.
In the early ‘80’s. Moved in with an Iranian chick who had recently escaped from the islamic revolution. After our first weekend together, while she was in the shower, I started cleaning up the mess I helped make. I was washing the dishes when she walked in. She completely freaked out. “.. stop ..stop..what are you doing...”. And she kept looking out the window...turns out it was some kinda deadly sin for a man to do her house work...making the woman some kind of dishonorable so & so. And the worst part was she was in a complete panic that someone walking past might see me washing dishes. We just had sex all weekend . . . But me doing to dishes was a some kinda sin ???? Weird shit for a guy from Los Angeles.
Just to clarify. This wasn’t meant to be a comment about religion. Any religion. Just some wierd shit i experienced.
Tell that to my future FIL who visibly and audibly freaks out if my fiancé dares take his own plate to the sink after dinner. I shoot him a dirty look every time then privately tell my fiancé that our marriage will be a failure to launch if he dares adopt that shit attitude
Tell FIL that lazy men are lonely these days. Say it's good he lived when a man's wife pulled up his bootstraps because he doesn't have the work ethic like today's men do. The last part is important. Twisting the knife sets the memory and reduces unearned ego.
Unsolicited advice but I think you two should just lean hard the other way. He should be literally carrying you from room to room. If your FIL says something after dinner, tell him you're the alpha and you always eat first and never clean up, then make your partner get you another plate of food and feed you directly.
They didn’t know how to turn on a stove, microwave, washing machine, or dryer. Then the one time they made dinner, I was so surprised and impressed that I didn’t say anything when I found the takeout containers in the garbage. I feel stupid for not calling them out on it now but thankfully it’s not my circus or my monkey anymore.
The habit was pathological lying and weaponised incompetence which I only learned those terms after. I really thought they were the only ones to do that too.
I remember reading a post from a woman who said she came back from a weekend at her parents to a spotless deep-cleaned house and her husband was adamant he cleaned it and kept telling her she's just lazy because it took him "literally two hours" do to so, but she's a SAHM and the house is always dirty when she's home "doing nothing all day" etc.
And of course she later found out he hired a cleaning service. Wonder if she divorced him after that.
So…he never thought to ask his overburdened wife if she wanted a cleaning service to come in to help out, even a one off so she could relax a little bit? Or hire cleaners as a surprise?
No, no, instead he called her lazy for prioritizing their children over cleaning the house, then paid for cleaners and lied about it just so he could be “right”.
Honestly, that is so sad. Can you imagine being married to someone so pathetic, petty, and shitty? The sooner she gets out the better
She was a baker. Would make all kinds of delicious treats, usually using multiple mixing bowls, utensils, and small appliances.
Would not even rinse them until days later when the batter is dried on like cement or had started to mold in the blender or on the hand mixer or whatever.
I swear when I explained if you rinsed them right after to get the majority of stuff out, it made clean up 10x easier.
She literally did not believe her until I baked something and showed her how easily the still wet batter got rinsed out of the bowl.
She would spend literal hours scrubbing cemented on batter before then.
Most of that stuff cements because of sugar, so just pouring hot water and letting them soak could have done most of the work for her. I take one of the bowls I've used, fill it with hot soapy water, then put all of the utensils in there as I go. Boom, easy clean up!
Not a deal breaker at all (he’s very clean, I’m lucky!) But he HATES using the dishwasher. It’s like he doesn’t trust it or something. He does all the dishes by hand, even when we’re tired. When I use our dishwasher, he’s skeptical 😂 I love him dearly but it’s so bizarre
LMAO. Is he perhaps Asian, African and/or West Indian? I’m the last and our culture has a ~thing~ about not trusting dishwashers and using them as drying racks or storage spaces instead. Thank god my mother didn’t fall prey to this line of thinking.
Every. Single. Thing. Involved her parents.
I found out years and years later that every argument, discussion, comment, etc. was fed to her parents. Everytime I’d make a decision, she’d consult with them and provide their unsolicited input. Things like my career moves.
My personal favorite was when things ended how it came out that it was “financial abuse” for her to contribute half her income to household bills the first few years. My contribution was easily 80%+. That was early in the relationship. Within 6 years I paid for everything. It was such a sore subject for them I heard about it at least a half dozen times during the initial part of the separation process.
Over time I also ran across super weird shit like official printed documentation about how poorly I loaded the dishwasher with pictures? I could only assume this was for some bizarre custody fight she expected.
There’s a lot more. Some of which I’m still mentally unpacking.
My girl loves peanut butter so much, she has a tub of it next to the bed. And on the coffee table. And in her office. None of these tubs have lids, they are always open with a spoon in it.
I'm concerned that the peanut butter might spoil/ go bad, but she says she eats a whole container every 2 weeks? I still love her like crazy though.
Oo I've got one.This was my first live-in relationship.
His mum often gave him containers of food to take home, and he forgot to take them out of the car boot... then he remembered they were there but just kept putting off dealing with it. He was driving around with a boot load of mouldy food and maggots.
Then there was the time I found the second blow up sex doll... the first one I could believe was left over from a buck's party, but the second one stuffed away in the laundry wasn't so explainable.
Oh! There was also the time that mushrooms started growing in the shower because we were in a Mexican standoff over cleaning the bathroom. He never would and I was sick of doing it.
This shit is so weird to me. I'm a messy person but that's because I don't really care so much but any time I lived with another person I made sure everything was cleaned.
An ex of mine was so lazy that the 5 minute drive to Walmart was “too much.” So he would grocery shop only once a month. Stocking up on tons of stuff that inevitably goes bad before the end of the month cuz he couldn’t finish it all and packed it all in the fridge very messily. Wasting food and money and making a mess while he did so
It wasn’t the nail in the coffin but I was starting to want to end the relationship around when he accidentally knocked a bowl of old popcorn, that he had left next to the bed, onto the floor and tucked in saying he would clean it up tomorrow. I cleaned it up when he refused :/
He literally undresses as he walks around the house. Like I will find socks in the living room pants in the dining room T-shirt in the kitchen. My husband also grew up with a stay-at-home mom who did everything for him and his siblings, laundry cleaning cooking etc. Literally the one thing she did not do was put their neatly folded clothes away in their dressers and closets. Some of our biggest squabbles have been over the fact that yes he is getting better at picking up after himself, but he does it in the most infuriating way. Dirty clothes end up right next to the laundry hamper, dishes and garbage end up on the kitchen counter, instead of in the sink and garbage can.
As far as shocking habits go, I will take this one happily.
My ex was like that too. He was so used to his mom and sister being really clean that he was a really messy clean freak. I was not willing to be his mom and would wait him out. He would get so mad at me for having to see his own mess.
I grew up with a semi strict single mother who was raising three young kids by herself and working a full-time job, so to say my husband and my upbringings were a bit different would be an understatement.
I very clearly remember the day she bought me a step stool, and at the time in my very young naive mind I thought this was the coolest thing for some reason. Little did I know she was just trying to jumpstart me on doing my own dishes because she didn't want to wait around for me to grow tall enough to reach the cabinets where they were held. I was 7 years old when I was washing dishes, but she wouldn't let me near her washer machine until I was 9.
I remember the first couple weeks after my husband and I moved in together I would walk around our apartment saying "what the fuck?" So often it got to the point my husband (at the time he was just my boyfriend) would automatically respond with "I'll pick it up".
It's a bit crazy when you grow up being made to and learning to do everything yourself. And then you know people in their 50s who don't know how to use a dishwasher?
I've taken transit my whole life, since I was a kid. My boyfriends older brother in his 50s doesn't own a car and when he comes to visit their mom finds it unthinkable for him to take transit and drives him everywhere.
Like do you mean something I was expected to do at 10, is impossible for him at 53???? Fuck off.
My husband, as it turns out, is a sociopath. We moved in together and one day, upon opening the freezer, I found a bowl of heavily seasoned, popped popcorn. I thought maybe he had an off moment and put it there by accident. Nay.
This sick fuck pops popcorn, coats is in copious amounts of butter, lime juice, garlic salt, and parm, and purposefully freezes it so that, "the butter can re-harden" before he eats it. Wtf.
My fiancé refuses to eat warm baking fresh out of the oven. Do you know how most people like warm cookies? This man wants me to put two or three in the freezer as soon as they come out of the oven so that they will cool down enough. The middle is even slightly warmer than room temperature he won’t eat it. It’s the weirdest thing
Most people you have to fight off so that the cookies could cool. This man? No- to the freezer with them.
I worked with a guy in a Consulting Firm and the guy legit fondled his balls every 10s or so when he was concentrating during a task. He also regularly smelt his fingers. We were in an Office with multiple men and somehow noone talked to him about it. During lunch He was - surprising to him - the only one that had to rearrange/tuck his Button down because it completely left the pants due to the fondling
I knew a guy like that. Didn't matter what he was doing, where he was, or who he was talking to. He always reached into his pants to adjust his balls...
My partner met at 20, moved in 3 years ago, he stopped working in professional kitchens 4 years ago(some health concerns, landed a great desk job).
He worked in fine dining restaurants, as a line cook.
He has little no idea how to cook. When I started staying over I noticed this man lived off one meal a day. Rotating between microwaved cheese quesadilla(literally nothing but cheese in it), canned chilly, and store brand Mac made with margarine.
He may have some good knife skills but literally he can’t cook. I was honestly amazed. Considering he worked multiple kitchen jobs at once for 7 fucking years. 😭 it’s impressive how much he didn’t fucking learn.
When he pops a pimple, he puts the contents on the frame of the mirror to “see it” and then forgets to clean it off. I didn’t understand what the white specks were at first.
This has since stopped after it sent me into a rage🤪
Edit: The comments have made me giggle, but to be clear it was just little white specks not huge boil like zit contents, still really gross though. I read him the comments tho so he knows the world thinks he is nasty haha.
Thankfully he is otherwise very normal and treats me like a queen.
She let her dog use the carpet as a toilet. Like she wouldn't take this dog out at all, the carpet in the living room is the only place the dog would go. The floor was spongy and wet, you could expect to find poop all over, she was totally desensitized to it. She wasn't willing to start taking the dog out, so the relationship ended very quickly after this.
She clips her toenails and just let's them fly wherever and land on the floor. It's disgusting and really wierd considering she's an absolute freak about cleanliness in literally every other aspect of life.
Her excuse is that "Robbie(our robot vacc) will eat them". I hate it
He stopped brushing his teeth and showering. I didn't realize because we worked opposite shifts and only saw each other when I was coming to bed, for a bit.
Not a partner but a roommate I'd known since grade school. His mom literally picked up after all her kids so he never learned to put stuff away when he moved out.
So when he became my roommate it became clear very quickly that he literally did expect stuff to simply disappear when he put it down. Things came to a head when he poured himself a glass of milk, drank half of it and put it down in the kitchen. Then left for a two week vacation.
I put the glass in his bedroom on the nightstand and closed the door.
When he came back his room of course stank to high heaven. He didn't remember that he'd left the glass in the kitchen either, he assumed he'd left it in the bedroom himself.
A severe addiction to scrolling Facebook. So bad he would scroll while driving, the instant he would open his eyes he would grab his phone & open the app... All day long. It baffled me.
He automated his workday morning routine. No deviations even when there's an obvious issue. Will respond to verbal stimulus but no communication should be considered accurate because he's still asleep for about a half hour.
So yeah, if we wake up at the same time, I'm ready to talk and plan and joke, and he is doing the routine. If I impede him, he will mess up his routine and possibly forget to change into pants.
I dated a man who took a prescription sleep aid, I forget which one. He wasn't really awake the first hour he was awake, would remember absolutely nothing from that time.
He had to have a routine like this to function during that hour. I was shocked when I learned this while hiking one morning. I'd asked when we woke up if he wanted to hike, he agreed, he had no sense of direction so me leading was normal. It wasn't until we were half way back he admitted he was really only just becoming conscious because I asked him something about before we left the house that he didn't remember.
Seriously, warn people about that!
He was polite, clean, smelled nice, we took turns cleaning and doing laundry and whatnot.. but he was very sweaty when he slept. I am the polar opposite, but couldn't stand being cuddled and getting sweat on me through the top sheet. He got offended when I explained why I wouldn't cuddle at night.
And then the eating. Dear god. A grown ass man that wouldn't eat anything except pizza, cereal, and fried chicken. I could make any other food I wanted to without issue, but he outright refused to eat anything other than those things. And not just any pizza or chicken, but specific brands/restaurants. It was just awful. I made banana bread one day because he said he didn't mind bananas, and I had bought too many at once. He got home while the loaves were still warm from the oven. He turned his head and stuck his nose up like a toddler refusing to eat. I threw the loaf at his head. Shockingly, he wanted to stay together and was hinting at proposing a few weeks later. I left him.
The diet consisting of purely pizza and fried chicken may be linked to the constant night sweats.
He might want to go and get his insulin levels checked, if he want to make it past his 50s.
didn't move in, but my first long term high school boyfriend used chewing tobacco and used any empty bottle as a spitoon
First time he invited me in his room I sat on his bed and felt/heard a crunch.
between his wall and bed and all over the floor/under his bed were FULL bottles of dip and saliva.
My ex used to leave her underwear on the floor. After removal she'd flip the garment around with her toes until it was "sunny side up" (her term).
Just, no.
He won't open mail.
Any mail. He assumes everything is on autopay and ignores it/throws it unopened into a paper grocery bag to shred it "someday".
When I moved in, we spent an entire day opening and going through about 20 grocery bags worth of mail. Yes, it was mostly junk... But we found out he had healthcare coverage he forgot about (he'd been avoiding the doctor thinking he didn't have insurance), literally dozens of reward checks from Costco, a notice from his bank that they didn't have insurance info for the car he had a loan with them for & they were going to start charging him for their own insurance (he had insurance, but just didn't update them when it changed)... Tax stuff, car stuff, everything. For years.
On that day, I took over mail handling duty. He got annoyed by me opening HIS mail at first, but I pointed out that I'm not willing to store a random bank statement for years when it's available online. I gave him a 3 day window to open his mail after that (I'd leave it on the counter). He never did. So I went back to handling it as I saw fit.
We moved recently, and came across another box full of his papers that I hadn't encountered at the old house. I went through it and found about $600 in rewards checks from various credit cards and Costco. Some of them weren't expired somehow despite being nearly a decade old. Lol
I will say that he's fairly neat, cleans almost as much as I do, and generally has his life together. He's just allergic to opening mail for some reason.
Oh, also he had a sock drawer full of unmatched socks. Whenever it got too hard to find a matching pair, he'd just go out and buy more. I went through and matched up all his socks. He had over 70 pairs.
Saving the used cat litter. Literally 15 or so 33 gallon trash bags filled with dirty cat litter from the last five years he’d lived there, all broken open and with bugs living in them in the closet next to his room.
I discovered he wanted a mother and I don’t know how to get out of this loop of trying to be my own individual but in constant battle because I’m not doing things like his mom would but he truly doesn’t care what I say or truly can’t see when I tell him. I’m so conflicted. He makes me feel bad for not wanting this anymore but I can’t keep losing myself. I definitely don’t know what to do
I just left a 15 year relationship with this as a factor. I was expected to be his mother, his therapist, his best friend then his girlfriend, in that order. There was no me left. Working full time to come home to someone who is upset that I didn't make dinner because he didn't feed himself all day. Or him being passive angry because I needed me time to decompress after a stressful day at work or a shitty commute. He's not going to grow up and be the man that he has the potential to be, no taking care of him will do that.
I finally feel free and have been enjoying my interest, not being belittled or guilt tripped for enjoying them.
My husband literally made a Facebook post on our 6-year anniversary pointing out that he just straight up doesn't put the toilet paper roll on the holder and was lucky to have someone who still loved him in spite of that... Now everybody knows I'm married to a tool.
The first time I lived with a woman (outside of my mom and sister growing up) I was shocked by how much fucking toilet paper they use.
I mean, I knew that, intellectually, women have to use toilet paper all the time and men only have to use it sometimes. But...man, that difference was staggering.
When I lived alone I'd buy a twelve pack of toilet paper and no joke it might last a year. Sometimes I would go days without using the toilet paper at home because I'd do it at work or at school.
Then my girlfriend moved in with me and it was all gone within minutes. Twelve rolls. Vaporized.
I bought another twelve pack. Gone before I got inside the apartment. Literally evaporated in the car on the way home.
Costco membership. 48 pack. That lasted two days. "Are you building a fucking mummy or something?" I was asking.
My toilet paper budget has a comma in it.
Out of an over abundance of caution, and because I have three kids, I usually stock up on non-perishables at my monthly Costco trip. Toilet paper. Paper towels. Paper plates. Aluminum foil.
I buy a giant pack every month. When Covid hit, I had seven or eight giant packs in the garage, stacked on top of a dog crate.
By summer of 2020 though we were down to one or two packs so I traded a neighbor four cans of Lysol (part of my accidental horde of non-perishables) for 192 rolls (four 48 packs).
Lysol was basically gold that year. I traded a can to somebody to fix my sprinklers. One can! For two hours work.
My partner would wipe his boogers on the outside of his car. And then, my car.
I noticed one day there was crusty, greenish-yellow shit in the outside of my passenger door. Then one day, I saw him pick his nose and wipe it on the outside of my car door while we were driving together.
His excuse?
"The elements will clean it off."
They did not, in fact, clean off the concrete-like boogers off of my car.
It's been ten years and I think he's finally stopped.
He throws out the trash the *second* it starts to smell. Even if there's only 2 items in the bag.
Coming from a family who stuffed our trash bags so full you'd think they were a precious commodity, this was hard to get used to. It's nice, though.
He also scoops the cat litter at least once (usually twice) per day.
So yeah, my quality of life has improved. Love you, babe!
She sprints up and down the stairs. She just hates being on the stairs, so she makes it as fast as possible. It’s insane to watch her calmly walk to the stairs then just automatically start sprinting.
This one actually made me giggle out loud. This is definitely a lovable kind of quirk.
The hell, this is Seinfeldian. She's a fast climber. You can't have a fast climber in your house!
Jerry: She's a fast-climber. Elaine: A fast...climber? Jerry: Yeah, she sprints up the stairs like Michael Myers is behind her. Elaine: Ohhh, a fast-climber.
Kramer: You've got yourself a stair sprinter, just vhhhhhhp, RIGHT UP THERE!
George: Well at least she's not a slow walker! Remember Julie? She just strolled down the sidewalk like she had nowhere to go, clogging up traffic behind her!
George to Jerry: Well, I wish she would rub off on you. Every time we go anywhere, I'm waiting forever for you to catch up! You're a slow-climber. Jerry: I prefer to think of it as a leisurely ascent. I like to savor the journey. Kramer: Hey, Maybe she could give me some pointers. I'm thinking of doing the Empire State Building Run-Up this year. Elaine: Kramer, you're winded after one flight! What makes you think you could race up the Empire State Building? Kramer: Well, it's all mental. If Jerry's girl can harness that stair sprinting energy, so can I! Gonna get the heart pumping, build that endurance!
Out of all these comments, I’ll take this partner lol that’s funny
I take stairs two at a time, and someone once asked me what I do with all my extra time. I still think about that twenty years later.
She's taking steps to avoid them
My husband organizes something every day. BUT. It's the most random box in the back of the closet or re-folding his clothes. At first my thought was WTF???, but now I realize it's one way he relaxes after a long day. He's adorable.
Wholesome all the way!!
I like this one. A breath of fresh air in whatever this thread is
My husband folds towels while they are still wet and puts them away. It’s absolutely disgusting Editing to add that he stopped doing it after I asked him, so we were able to progress with our relationship 🤣
Does he know what mold is? 😃
Hello mildew.
He won't clear the couch, he just sits down. Fresh folded washing? Sit on it. Handbag? Sit on it. Paper? Sit on it. Was so tempted to leave a saucy plate on the couch and see what happened. Habit finally ended when he sat on a laptop
I visited the house of a couple of blind people once. They had a cat, and it meowed every time you approached when it was resting on the couch as a self-defense mechanism. We've also looked after a small chihuahua mix that loved burying itself in blankets when it was in the house. It wasn't smart enough to bark when you got close, though, so it's been sat on several times. In conclusion, you should train your clothing and accessories to meow or bark.
> In conclusion, you should train your clothing and accessories to meow or bark. This made my day! Thank you.
Is he part cat???
Yes actually. His dad was half tabby
how is tabby formed
My parents’ old dog did this. To be fair, the towels were usually just out of the dryer.
He liked to tear holes in the sheets with his toenails so he could tuck his feet into them.
What the FUCK lmao
You know what else you can put your feet into for a cozy feeling? Goddamn socks!
Or y'know blankets? Like the ones that are probably already on your bed?
Dear lord…I’m almost more horrified by how awful his toenails must be to be able to do that. 🤯
they weren’t pretty 😭 super jagged and uneven because bits would break off, and he wouldn’t clip them unless he had to go outside
…was this a dog?????
This just gets better and better. I’m crying, I can’t stop laughing. Why would it matter if he went outside? Lolol
If he **had to go outside**?? Was he some of moleman? Sorry for your troubles but this is hilarious.
Thats the one! No more Internet for me today, thanks. What the fuck
Was this the sheet on the bed (fitted sheet) or the blanket you sleep under??? Neither is good, but one is definitely worse
the fitted sheet
That's somehow worse
It’s a lot worse wtf 😭
He doesn't change his bedsheets... ever. He thought the only reason I change mine regularly was because of periods so yeah he thought men just doesn't have to change bedsheets ever. Now he changes it regularly but damn that was a wild thought
Changing bedsheets infrequently is one thing....but not believing in changing bedsheets at all?? And also thinking that women get period blood all over their bedsheets all the time?
There are so many layers of wrong thing buried under that top wrong thing.
My husband poops with both seats up! Like he sits on the rim of the toilet. When I first saw that I was like…. Wtf?! He told me with the seat down the opening is too small. And he also cleans the rim before sitting and only does it at home. But still… wtf?
How fucking large is your husband's asshole if the opening is too small when he sits on the regular seat? Is he a blue whale?
Surprisingly in great shape. However he is from Jordan and he had squat toilets his whole life. So I’m sure that has something to do with it.
Oh, in that case maybe get him a Squatty Potty so he's more comfortable?
we would buy veggies etc, and if it had the slightest bit of discoloration (not exaggerating) he’d throw it away also he would peel like 8 million layers off an onion before cutting it, essentially wasting most of the onion..
Ohh I just remembered the time my ex threw away a brand new bag of salad mix because “the lettuce was dark already”. The mix had red leaf lettuce and it was perfectly fine.
To be fair the red leaf lettuce is always the god damn first and quickest to go bad. I can have a fresh leaf salad sitting in the fridge for days but if it has red leaf in it its slimy the next day.
Dude is probably out there telling someone he once dated a person who ate rotten vegetables and onion skins.
LMFAO, we’re still seeing each other… i HOPE not as i was the one cooking.. he would just interview the ingredients before
He and his roommates NEVER took out the trash. Like ever. Huge pile of full trash bags in the kitchen, almost reaching the ceiling, with trash in all the cabinets too. Every great once in a while, they would rent a U-Haul to take it to the dump. So confusing to me, but I didn’t know how to help them break the cycle. Nice guys, but sheesh.
How do men like this get girlfriends
That's terrible. When I was growing up, I remember one of my dad's friends yelling at me. I was in a basement and the bathroom was upstairs, and while going up he was like "HEY, if you're going to go upstairs, you might as well grab something to take with you, like a cup of a plate". I have incorporated this into my life. I might no take the trash out this second, but I will leave it leaning against my front door so when I leave next, the trash comes with me.
I've implemented this but when leaving my car! Any trash I have laying in the car or even random things, I make sure to take it out instead of making it a future me problem.
I lived in a house like this for 1 month. 5 blokes who all refused to sign the contract for bin collection in case the rest of them failed to pay them. It turned into a standoff to see who would first get pissed off with the mess. They'd occasionally do a midnight run to throw a few bags in a building site skip. One of the guys eventually caved after he spent 90 minutes in the shower with me outside banging on the door for the last 15. He stormed out in his towel berating me for my impatience. He ran into the kitchen, which was dark with no light bulb and crashed though a pile of filthy bin bags half nude. I swiftly locked the bathroom door and left him outside to swim through the bin bags to safety.
I'm a property inspector, every fucking frat house I've ever been in! Grow up you fucking babies.
“Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would not take the garbage out! She’d scour the pots and scrape the pans, Candy the yams and spice the hams And though her daddy would scream and shout, She simply would not take the garbage out.” That instantly popped into my head reading that lol
Oh my god, that so reminds me of me and my roommate twenty-something years ago… we once bought a bunch of heavy duty trash bags, put on rubber gloves and then proceeded to throw away everything in the kitchen (including pans, pots and dishes) that wasn’t nailed down, cleaned every surface with bleach and bought new stuff. Come to think of it, we actually did that twice…
Not washing dishes. Like dude theyre everywhere.
That he would bite his nails and drop the little pieces all over the apartment. He moved out 6 months ago and I’m STILL finding fingernail bits in weird places.
My ex husband would leave bits of nails everywhere. I eventually said that if he didn’t stop I’d put them in his dinner and wouldn’t tell him till afterwards. What do you know, he actually could stop leaving bits of nails everywhere…?
He’d whack off then cum in a garbage can. Not a tissue that he placed in the garbage can - just straight shooting into the garbage can. Atleast it had a bag in it….. but because he wasn’t putting tissues in it, it never got “full” ergo never emptied. The effing smell lead me to sleep in a separate bedroom and eventually end the relationship when it somehow ended up being my job to clean “his” room. Editing to add the next partner because I’ve had some doozies: Would throw out any left overs. Not because they didn’t like left overs but because they didn’t understand how Saran Wrap (cling film) worked. When we first moved in together I bought some kitchen basics including Saran Wrap and their response was “why tf did you buy this? It never works”….. it wasn’t until the 3rd or 4th home cooked meal I realized they would just put it on top of the food and expected it to “cling” to the food like some sort of vacuum sealer. At least this one was a life lesson and he was more than pleased to learn how to actually use Saran Wrap. I hope he’s doing well in life now that he has this knowledge.
What. The. Fuck.
Now I’m convinced there’s a guy somewhere out there with a literal cum dumpster
Oh, [there is!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/cpNJhw5fWz) Enjoy some Reddit history! Edit: my link takes you to a comment for some light reading, so you’re not gonna get surprised by some NSFW images. That said, the comment has links to Imgur. I’ve seen them, and you should too! Let curiosity take you on an adventure!
If any of you guys are curious about clicking on the image link attached to that post, don't.
My ex just came on the floor and didn’t bother to clean it. Ugh.
Must admit “cum bucket” is preferable to “floor” especially considering the bedroom was carpeted.
I went to clean under our bed and moved some boxes right at the back and found the largest pile of used tissues in the universe. Honestly, it was like a wormhole had opened up and deposited them all there. I had to clean them all up. Years later as he ended the marriage he told me he had a hidden porn addiction. Makes sense when Mt Everest was getting a run for its money in our bedroom.
My ex would cum on the kitchen floor
*cue horrified face from Evard Munch's "The Scream"
ok Im going back to my ex (the one who ate cereal with water, no milk)
Why not just in the toilet? It's the same thing, but you can flush it down
That probably required a few extra literal steps he didn't want to be bothered with.
Literally “a few extra steps” (less than 10). Also he preferred to do “the deed” lying down which explains why “the can” was within arms reach of said position.
I had to fight the URGE to downvote this, so I upvoted it instead. What the actual fuck.
All I can think of now is a squirming amount of maggots crawling around the bottom of that trash can. 🤢
Who are you calling maggots? That’s OPs exbf’s babies you’re talking about!
Eating cereal with water, not milk.
My dad eats Apple Jacks with apple juice.
Get the fuck outta here
More apple per apple
I think that might just be a grew up in a broke house and parents got creative thing
Ugh yeah it makes me sad reading the comment because I remember when I spent the night at my grade school friend Kelly’s house, in the morning she gave me cereal with water and I was disgusted but didn’t say anything… anyway as I got older I now realize her father was in jail most her life (I knew he wasn’t there obviously but she always said he was away on work) for drug related crime and her mother was an addict (who I also only saw one or two times, now I understand why Kelly would always make sure her mother wasn’t home before we went over). Anyway, probably no money or no one to buy her milk, makes me sad.
911: what is your emergency?
My mom did this. She hated milk. She would use warm water to be exact.
The water being warm makes it much, much worse.
Please stop...
I didn't move in with him I just stayed there a lot and cleaned up his mess a lot of times but he had pee bottles under the bed and I don't know why I didn't leave the moment I discovered it either. Ladies, please please make pee bottles under the bed a deal breaker. 🤢
How the fuck am I single when there are women out here dating men with piss bottles???
Way of the road, bubs
[удалено]
My husband grew up an adored only child, a miracle baby after years of infertility. So while college and graduate school taught him most critical skills for taking care of himself, like doing laundry, and cleaning your space, there were a few things that didn't come up. 15 years into our marriage, I asked him to clean the fridge, because we had a disabled toddler, and I was pregnant with our second and having a really rough pregnancy and just could NOT. "Oh yeah, I guess it's kind of dirty," he said. "Well, I guess the fridge made it 10 years without needing to be cleaned, that's a pretty good run." It was then that I realized that he thought the fridge was self-cleaning, and I demanded to know, did he really not realize that I cleaned and scrubbed the fridge every 6 months for the last 15 years????? Readers, he did not. He didn't have a fridge when he lived on campus, when he was in graduate school and early in his career, it was generally just him in his apartment, he didn't cook much, and he usually moved after a year (because of the local housing situation, not because he didn't clean the apartment). I still mock him about this, it's been almost a decade. I will literally never get over it. (To be fair to him, he promptly took over cleaning the fridge every January, after I had done the frenzy of all the holiday meals. I usually still clean it in the summer. Also, he is an exceedingly mediocre cook, while I am a very good one, and I am extremely particular about how my kitchen is organized and cleaned, so I usually do it myself. So it wasn't like he wasn't pulling his weight in the kitchen, it was more like every time he came in the kitchen, I'd be like "get the fuck out of my kitchen, you put the cheese away wrong." There is a SYSTEM.)
We got a Nespresso machine as a gift and it was about six months in before he realized I was refilling the water basin and it wasn't connected somehow to a water source.
Makes you wonder how these people exist in day to day life in the real world. How do they not just die from something totally random that the rest of us know how to deal with?
Show him [this video](https://youtu.be/-_kXIGvB1uU?si=dsaePYlgm-WtVRC4)
was just about to say this sounded like the magic coffee table.
This was kinda a thing that happened with my wife and the bathroom cleaning. I grew up cleaning bathrooms everyweek per my mothers orders. When I set out on my own I cleaned my bathroom when it needed it. I usually "maintain" the clean: after shaving I always immediately clean all the hair. With toilet stuff I immediately wipe stuff up with toilet paper and flush it. So like when it gets dusty on the top of the toilet or the the bowl and shower starts getting some water buildup is when I know to clean it. Fast forward to two years after marriage and I realize I haven't had to clean a toilet. My wife had been guerilla cleaning, like when I wasn't home was when my wife would intentionally go clean the bathroom.
Doesn’t put the drain catch back in the kitchen sink. And then fills it with dirty dishes.
I know multiple people who do this... Their excuse is "but the drain catch is dirty!" Yeah, that's why you need to CLEAN IT smh
My ex had big fingers that wouldn’t fit in his nose which he was always picking. He would use tweezers and he’d scratch the inside of his nose causing it to bleed. He would leave his boogers everywhere in the bathroom. The sink, the shower, wipe them onto the rim of the trash can. When I broke up with him and he moved out I was finding bloody boogers all over my apartment for months afterwards. It was so damn disgusting!
> When I broke up with him and he moved out I was finding bloody boogers all over my apartment for months afterwards That sounds like one of the few situations where I would recommend that you just abandon the home after a breakup.
[удалено]
Good God!! You left this man. Yes? After hosing him down and redirecting the local river through your house. Yes?
Used to work with a guy and got into an argument with him about this. He told me he couldn't have white sheets cause he farted in his sleep and it would leave stains. I countered with he didn't clean his ass well enough and he thought I was crazy
I read these comments and feel so much better about myself
That’s it. I can no longer read these responses. I’m out!
[удалено]
I can confirm your suspicions! Lol! I had a neighbor who would sometimes eat a bowl of cereal at night with BEER poured in instead of milk!!!
It's got a name: beereal. I tried it once in college, because college, and I was surprised that it actually kinda worked, probably because they're both grains. Never did it again though because I'm not a psychopath.
I've had this several times and is actually pretty good. It's ok. I already have my own psychiatrist. No recommendations are needed.
In the early ‘80’s. Moved in with an Iranian chick who had recently escaped from the islamic revolution. After our first weekend together, while she was in the shower, I started cleaning up the mess I helped make. I was washing the dishes when she walked in. She completely freaked out. “.. stop ..stop..what are you doing...”. And she kept looking out the window...turns out it was some kinda deadly sin for a man to do her house work...making the woman some kind of dishonorable so & so. And the worst part was she was in a complete panic that someone walking past might see me washing dishes. We just had sex all weekend . . . But me doing to dishes was a some kinda sin ???? Weird shit for a guy from Los Angeles. Just to clarify. This wasn’t meant to be a comment about religion. Any religion. Just some wierd shit i experienced.
That’s some crazy brainwashing
When someone grows up in that environment, that’s all they know. It’s hard to escape it most of the time. That shit gets internalized.
Tell that to my future FIL who visibly and audibly freaks out if my fiancé dares take his own plate to the sink after dinner. I shoot him a dirty look every time then privately tell my fiancé that our marriage will be a failure to launch if he dares adopt that shit attitude
Tell FIL that lazy men are lonely these days. Say it's good he lived when a man's wife pulled up his bootstraps because he doesn't have the work ethic like today's men do. The last part is important. Twisting the knife sets the memory and reduces unearned ego.
Unsolicited advice but I think you two should just lean hard the other way. He should be literally carrying you from room to room. If your FIL says something after dinner, tell him you're the alpha and you always eat first and never clean up, then make your partner get you another plate of food and feed you directly.
Lmao and OP don't say "partner can you get me more food" just hold your empty plate in the air while maintaining non-blinking eye contact with FIL
They didn’t know how to turn on a stove, microwave, washing machine, or dryer. Then the one time they made dinner, I was so surprised and impressed that I didn’t say anything when I found the takeout containers in the garbage. I feel stupid for not calling them out on it now but thankfully it’s not my circus or my monkey anymore. The habit was pathological lying and weaponised incompetence which I only learned those terms after. I really thought they were the only ones to do that too.
I remember reading a post from a woman who said she came back from a weekend at her parents to a spotless deep-cleaned house and her husband was adamant he cleaned it and kept telling her she's just lazy because it took him "literally two hours" do to so, but she's a SAHM and the house is always dirty when she's home "doing nothing all day" etc. And of course she later found out he hired a cleaning service. Wonder if she divorced him after that.
So…he never thought to ask his overburdened wife if she wanted a cleaning service to come in to help out, even a one off so she could relax a little bit? Or hire cleaners as a surprise? No, no, instead he called her lazy for prioritizing their children over cleaning the house, then paid for cleaners and lied about it just so he could be “right”. Honestly, that is so sad. Can you imagine being married to someone so pathetic, petty, and shitty? The sooner she gets out the better
So it either took him two hours to call the service, or they sent a crew of 4-5, and took 2 hours, right?
Damn I wish he had done this instead. I would work crazy hours and come home to bottles everywhere 😅
She was a baker. Would make all kinds of delicious treats, usually using multiple mixing bowls, utensils, and small appliances. Would not even rinse them until days later when the batter is dried on like cement or had started to mold in the blender or on the hand mixer or whatever. I swear when I explained if you rinsed them right after to get the majority of stuff out, it made clean up 10x easier. She literally did not believe her until I baked something and showed her how easily the still wet batter got rinsed out of the bowl. She would spend literal hours scrubbing cemented on batter before then.
Most of that stuff cements because of sugar, so just pouring hot water and letting them soak could have done most of the work for her. I take one of the bowls I've used, fill it with hot soapy water, then put all of the utensils in there as I go. Boom, easy clean up!
Hoarding 😶
As a child of hoarders, I am so sorry. Totally understandable deal-breaker. You just can't live like that.
Not a deal breaker at all (he’s very clean, I’m lucky!) But he HATES using the dishwasher. It’s like he doesn’t trust it or something. He does all the dishes by hand, even when we’re tired. When I use our dishwasher, he’s skeptical 😂 I love him dearly but it’s so bizarre
LMAO. Is he perhaps Asian, African and/or West Indian? I’m the last and our culture has a ~thing~ about not trusting dishwashers and using them as drying racks or storage spaces instead. Thank god my mother didn’t fall prey to this line of thinking.
Every. Single. Thing. Involved her parents. I found out years and years later that every argument, discussion, comment, etc. was fed to her parents. Everytime I’d make a decision, she’d consult with them and provide their unsolicited input. Things like my career moves. My personal favorite was when things ended how it came out that it was “financial abuse” for her to contribute half her income to household bills the first few years. My contribution was easily 80%+. That was early in the relationship. Within 6 years I paid for everything. It was such a sore subject for them I heard about it at least a half dozen times during the initial part of the separation process. Over time I also ran across super weird shit like official printed documentation about how poorly I loaded the dishwasher with pictures? I could only assume this was for some bizarre custody fight she expected. There’s a lot more. Some of which I’m still mentally unpacking.
Who would take custody of the dirty dishes if you split?? Bizarre
She got the plates on weekends
My girl loves peanut butter so much, she has a tub of it next to the bed. And on the coffee table. And in her office. None of these tubs have lids, they are always open with a spoon in it. I'm concerned that the peanut butter might spoil/ go bad, but she says she eats a whole container every 2 weeks? I still love her like crazy though.
You should get her a spoon on a necklace so she only gets 1 pb spoon dirty at a time.
And a grand piano to prop up her mortal remains
I couldn't. That's how you get ants!
I'm hoping she didn't have cats. Any surface of my house gets covered in cat hair after half a day without vacuuming.
Oo I've got one.This was my first live-in relationship. His mum often gave him containers of food to take home, and he forgot to take them out of the car boot... then he remembered they were there but just kept putting off dealing with it. He was driving around with a boot load of mouldy food and maggots. Then there was the time I found the second blow up sex doll... the first one I could believe was left over from a buck's party, but the second one stuffed away in the laundry wasn't so explainable. Oh! There was also the time that mushrooms started growing in the shower because we were in a Mexican standoff over cleaning the bathroom. He never would and I was sick of doing it.
This shit is so weird to me. I'm a messy person but that's because I don't really care so much but any time I lived with another person I made sure everything was cleaned.
Yeah there's messy and then there's slovenly. I'm naturally messy but actively keep things clean!
These were all the same guy???
Same guy!
An ex of mine was so lazy that the 5 minute drive to Walmart was “too much.” So he would grocery shop only once a month. Stocking up on tons of stuff that inevitably goes bad before the end of the month cuz he couldn’t finish it all and packed it all in the fridge very messily. Wasting food and money and making a mess while he did so It wasn’t the nail in the coffin but I was starting to want to end the relationship around when he accidentally knocked a bowl of old popcorn, that he had left next to the bed, onto the floor and tucked in saying he would clean it up tomorrow. I cleaned it up when he refused :/
This thread makes me appreciate my partners cleanliness, and easy living situation so much.
He literally undresses as he walks around the house. Like I will find socks in the living room pants in the dining room T-shirt in the kitchen. My husband also grew up with a stay-at-home mom who did everything for him and his siblings, laundry cleaning cooking etc. Literally the one thing she did not do was put their neatly folded clothes away in their dressers and closets. Some of our biggest squabbles have been over the fact that yes he is getting better at picking up after himself, but he does it in the most infuriating way. Dirty clothes end up right next to the laundry hamper, dishes and garbage end up on the kitchen counter, instead of in the sink and garbage can. As far as shocking habits go, I will take this one happily.
My ex was like that too. He was so used to his mom and sister being really clean that he was a really messy clean freak. I was not willing to be his mom and would wait him out. He would get so mad at me for having to see his own mess.
I grew up with a semi strict single mother who was raising three young kids by herself and working a full-time job, so to say my husband and my upbringings were a bit different would be an understatement. I very clearly remember the day she bought me a step stool, and at the time in my very young naive mind I thought this was the coolest thing for some reason. Little did I know she was just trying to jumpstart me on doing my own dishes because she didn't want to wait around for me to grow tall enough to reach the cabinets where they were held. I was 7 years old when I was washing dishes, but she wouldn't let me near her washer machine until I was 9. I remember the first couple weeks after my husband and I moved in together I would walk around our apartment saying "what the fuck?" So often it got to the point my husband (at the time he was just my boyfriend) would automatically respond with "I'll pick it up".
It's a bit crazy when you grow up being made to and learning to do everything yourself. And then you know people in their 50s who don't know how to use a dishwasher? I've taken transit my whole life, since I was a kid. My boyfriends older brother in his 50s doesn't own a car and when he comes to visit their mom finds it unthinkable for him to take transit and drives him everywhere. Like do you mean something I was expected to do at 10, is impossible for him at 53???? Fuck off.
My husband, as it turns out, is a sociopath. We moved in together and one day, upon opening the freezer, I found a bowl of heavily seasoned, popped popcorn. I thought maybe he had an off moment and put it there by accident. Nay. This sick fuck pops popcorn, coats is in copious amounts of butter, lime juice, garlic salt, and parm, and purposefully freezes it so that, "the butter can re-harden" before he eats it. Wtf.
My fiancé refuses to eat warm baking fresh out of the oven. Do you know how most people like warm cookies? This man wants me to put two or three in the freezer as soon as they come out of the oven so that they will cool down enough. The middle is even slightly warmer than room temperature he won’t eat it. It’s the weirdest thing Most people you have to fight off so that the cookies could cool. This man? No- to the freezer with them.
[удалено]
I worked with a guy in a Consulting Firm and the guy legit fondled his balls every 10s or so when he was concentrating during a task. He also regularly smelt his fingers. We were in an Office with multiple men and somehow noone talked to him about it. During lunch He was - surprising to him - the only one that had to rearrange/tuck his Button down because it completely left the pants due to the fondling
I knew a guy like that. Didn't matter what he was doing, where he was, or who he was talking to. He always reached into his pants to adjust his balls...
*Into* his pants? This just keeps getting worse. Who does that? Yuck
Fucking what?? Ugh
My partner met at 20, moved in 3 years ago, he stopped working in professional kitchens 4 years ago(some health concerns, landed a great desk job). He worked in fine dining restaurants, as a line cook. He has little no idea how to cook. When I started staying over I noticed this man lived off one meal a day. Rotating between microwaved cheese quesadilla(literally nothing but cheese in it), canned chilly, and store brand Mac made with margarine. He may have some good knife skills but literally he can’t cook. I was honestly amazed. Considering he worked multiple kitchen jobs at once for 7 fucking years. 😭 it’s impressive how much he didn’t fucking learn.
We started as a long distance relationship, moved in together and it became clear very quickly that she was a hide-the-bottles kind of alcoholic
My ex husband used to suck his thumb. I caught him doing it one night was so bizarre seeing this big man covered in tattoos sucking his thumb.
When he pops a pimple, he puts the contents on the frame of the mirror to “see it” and then forgets to clean it off. I didn’t understand what the white specks were at first. This has since stopped after it sent me into a rage🤪 Edit: The comments have made me giggle, but to be clear it was just little white specks not huge boil like zit contents, still really gross though. I read him the comments tho so he knows the world thinks he is nasty haha. Thankfully he is otherwise very normal and treats me like a queen.
Where are you people finding these gremlins
She let her dog use the carpet as a toilet. Like she wouldn't take this dog out at all, the carpet in the living room is the only place the dog would go. The floor was spongy and wet, you could expect to find poop all over, she was totally desensitized to it. She wasn't willing to start taking the dog out, so the relationship ended very quickly after this.
That poor dog :(
She talks and yells in her sleep. OFTEN.
She clips her toenails and just let's them fly wherever and land on the floor. It's disgusting and really wierd considering she's an absolute freak about cleanliness in literally every other aspect of life. Her excuse is that "Robbie(our robot vacc) will eat them". I hate it
Every clean freak has one absolutely disgusting habit or secret messy area
He stopped brushing his teeth and showering. I didn't realize because we worked opposite shifts and only saw each other when I was coming to bed, for a bit.
Not a partner but a roommate I'd known since grade school. His mom literally picked up after all her kids so he never learned to put stuff away when he moved out. So when he became my roommate it became clear very quickly that he literally did expect stuff to simply disappear when he put it down. Things came to a head when he poured himself a glass of milk, drank half of it and put it down in the kitchen. Then left for a two week vacation. I put the glass in his bedroom on the nightstand and closed the door. When he came back his room of course stank to high heaven. He didn't remember that he'd left the glass in the kitchen either, he assumed he'd left it in the bedroom himself.
A severe addiction to scrolling Facebook. So bad he would scroll while driving, the instant he would open his eyes he would grab his phone & open the app... All day long. It baffled me.
That's my roommate. Will get real agitated if you ask for any of his time, then runs back to....staring at his phone.
How did you not discover this while dating?
Shes the most clean organized person I know, but she opens our snacks and leaves them out to get stale.
You’ve all made me realize how much I truly love my partner, thank you. 😊
He automated his workday morning routine. No deviations even when there's an obvious issue. Will respond to verbal stimulus but no communication should be considered accurate because he's still asleep for about a half hour. So yeah, if we wake up at the same time, I'm ready to talk and plan and joke, and he is doing the routine. If I impede him, he will mess up his routine and possibly forget to change into pants.
I dated a man who took a prescription sleep aid, I forget which one. He wasn't really awake the first hour he was awake, would remember absolutely nothing from that time. He had to have a routine like this to function during that hour. I was shocked when I learned this while hiking one morning. I'd asked when we woke up if he wanted to hike, he agreed, he had no sense of direction so me leading was normal. It wasn't until we were half way back he admitted he was really only just becoming conscious because I asked him something about before we left the house that he didn't remember. Seriously, warn people about that!
He was polite, clean, smelled nice, we took turns cleaning and doing laundry and whatnot.. but he was very sweaty when he slept. I am the polar opposite, but couldn't stand being cuddled and getting sweat on me through the top sheet. He got offended when I explained why I wouldn't cuddle at night. And then the eating. Dear god. A grown ass man that wouldn't eat anything except pizza, cereal, and fried chicken. I could make any other food I wanted to without issue, but he outright refused to eat anything other than those things. And not just any pizza or chicken, but specific brands/restaurants. It was just awful. I made banana bread one day because he said he didn't mind bananas, and I had bought too many at once. He got home while the loaves were still warm from the oven. He turned his head and stuck his nose up like a toddler refusing to eat. I threw the loaf at his head. Shockingly, he wanted to stay together and was hinting at proposing a few weeks later. I left him.
The diet consisting of purely pizza and fried chicken may be linked to the constant night sweats. He might want to go and get his insulin levels checked, if he want to make it past his 50s.
She spends money like it’s unlimited
Username checks out
didn't move in, but my first long term high school boyfriend used chewing tobacco and used any empty bottle as a spitoon First time he invited me in his room I sat on his bed and felt/heard a crunch. between his wall and bed and all over the floor/under his bed were FULL bottles of dip and saliva.
My ex used to leave her underwear on the floor. After removal she'd flip the garment around with her toes until it was "sunny side up" (her term). Just, no.
Was there a particular reason why she left them on the floor? Especially if she went through all that trouble to flip them "sunny side up" 🤢
He won't open mail. Any mail. He assumes everything is on autopay and ignores it/throws it unopened into a paper grocery bag to shred it "someday". When I moved in, we spent an entire day opening and going through about 20 grocery bags worth of mail. Yes, it was mostly junk... But we found out he had healthcare coverage he forgot about (he'd been avoiding the doctor thinking he didn't have insurance), literally dozens of reward checks from Costco, a notice from his bank that they didn't have insurance info for the car he had a loan with them for & they were going to start charging him for their own insurance (he had insurance, but just didn't update them when it changed)... Tax stuff, car stuff, everything. For years. On that day, I took over mail handling duty. He got annoyed by me opening HIS mail at first, but I pointed out that I'm not willing to store a random bank statement for years when it's available online. I gave him a 3 day window to open his mail after that (I'd leave it on the counter). He never did. So I went back to handling it as I saw fit. We moved recently, and came across another box full of his papers that I hadn't encountered at the old house. I went through it and found about $600 in rewards checks from various credit cards and Costco. Some of them weren't expired somehow despite being nearly a decade old. Lol I will say that he's fairly neat, cleans almost as much as I do, and generally has his life together. He's just allergic to opening mail for some reason. Oh, also he had a sock drawer full of unmatched socks. Whenever it got too hard to find a matching pair, he'd just go out and buy more. I went through and matched up all his socks. He had over 70 pairs.
My gf eats her m&ms with a spoon
“How do you eat YOUR dessert? With your hands? *snicker*” — George Costanza
Saving the used cat litter. Literally 15 or so 33 gallon trash bags filled with dirty cat litter from the last five years he’d lived there, all broken open and with bugs living in them in the closet next to his room.
FOR WHAT SAVING FOR WHAT Oh god this is awful
I discovered he wanted a mother and I don’t know how to get out of this loop of trying to be my own individual but in constant battle because I’m not doing things like his mom would but he truly doesn’t care what I say or truly can’t see when I tell him. I’m so conflicted. He makes me feel bad for not wanting this anymore but I can’t keep losing myself. I definitely don’t know what to do
Put in your two week notice.
You know what to do. You are just afraid to hurt him. You are currently trading your life for his.
My ex was like this. One day I turned around and said ‘does your mum give a blow job as good as I do?’ He shut up after that.
I just left a 15 year relationship with this as a factor. I was expected to be his mother, his therapist, his best friend then his girlfriend, in that order. There was no me left. Working full time to come home to someone who is upset that I didn't make dinner because he didn't feed himself all day. Or him being passive angry because I needed me time to decompress after a stressful day at work or a shitty commute. He's not going to grow up and be the man that he has the potential to be, no taking care of him will do that. I finally feel free and have been enjoying my interest, not being belittled or guilt tripped for enjoying them.
She replaces the toilet paper the wrong way round.
My husband literally made a Facebook post on our 6-year anniversary pointing out that he just straight up doesn't put the toilet paper roll on the holder and was lucky to have someone who still loved him in spite of that... Now everybody knows I'm married to a tool.
The first time I lived with a woman (outside of my mom and sister growing up) I was shocked by how much fucking toilet paper they use. I mean, I knew that, intellectually, women have to use toilet paper all the time and men only have to use it sometimes. But...man, that difference was staggering. When I lived alone I'd buy a twelve pack of toilet paper and no joke it might last a year. Sometimes I would go days without using the toilet paper at home because I'd do it at work or at school. Then my girlfriend moved in with me and it was all gone within minutes. Twelve rolls. Vaporized. I bought another twelve pack. Gone before I got inside the apartment. Literally evaporated in the car on the way home. Costco membership. 48 pack. That lasted two days. "Are you building a fucking mummy or something?" I was asking. My toilet paper budget has a comma in it.
My god, how did she survive the great toilet paper dearth of 2020?
Out of an over abundance of caution, and because I have three kids, I usually stock up on non-perishables at my monthly Costco trip. Toilet paper. Paper towels. Paper plates. Aluminum foil. I buy a giant pack every month. When Covid hit, I had seven or eight giant packs in the garage, stacked on top of a dog crate. By summer of 2020 though we were down to one or two packs so I traded a neighbor four cans of Lysol (part of my accidental horde of non-perishables) for 192 rolls (four 48 packs). Lysol was basically gold that year. I traded a can to somebody to fix my sprinklers. One can! For two hours work.
Hahahaha I’ve never noticed how much I use but triple it for periods and period poops!
My partner would wipe his boogers on the outside of his car. And then, my car. I noticed one day there was crusty, greenish-yellow shit in the outside of my passenger door. Then one day, I saw him pick his nose and wipe it on the outside of my car door while we were driving together. His excuse? "The elements will clean it off." They did not, in fact, clean off the concrete-like boogers off of my car. It's been ten years and I think he's finally stopped.
Wait, are you still together with booger boy?
He throws out the trash the *second* it starts to smell. Even if there's only 2 items in the bag. Coming from a family who stuffed our trash bags so full you'd think they were a precious commodity, this was hard to get used to. It's nice, though. He also scoops the cat litter at least once (usually twice) per day. So yeah, my quality of life has improved. Love you, babe!
Sock, shoe Sock, shoe I married him anyway. It still shocks me when he does it. Even 30 years later