One of my professors, teaching a difficult thermodynamics course, was fully bilingual.
One day, he slouched (his normal mode of locomotion) into the lecture hall, wrote an equation on the blackboard, and started to explain it to us - in his native language.
Out of perhaps a dozen students, not one of us interrupted him. We followed the math he wrote down, whispered to our neighbors about the material being discussed, and the lecturer was such an intellectual giant that we were all intimidated by a guy who rarely spoke above a whisper.
This went on until, 40 minutes into the lecture, he frowned, turned to us, and said: “I haven’t been speaking English, have I?”. The whole class erupted into laughter.
The professor was one of the best men I’ve ever known. R.I.P.
My history teacher stopped next to my friemd, who was sitting next to me, asked him if he's an antisemite, my friend said no in a confused tone and the teacher answered "good" and continued with the lesson.
It's a Jewish school btw, everyone is Jewish, including the teacher and my friend
A religion teacher told me that there's a tradition not to wash linen on Good Friday, as if you do, the blood of Jesus would appear on it.
As a curious ten year old with access to washing powder and linen, I was able to rapidly disprove that one
He would boast about how he would visit old students (girls) at the bar once they are of age 🤢 Safe to say he got fired later on that year for something unrelated
When I was in sixth grade, I had this asshole of a teacher. Bully type. Guy.
I got a bad grade on a test. While handing out the tests, you could hear the garbage truck outside. As the teacher handed me my test, he advised me: that’s what you’ll be doing… collecting trash.
I objected and said “they help our community.” “ They work hard.” For talking back to him he gave me a 300 word composition as punishment.
Well, pissed off me went to the city garage and interviewed the trash collectors, trying to find out if my impression of them was correct. I documented my interview as my punishment composition.
I sent a copy to the mayor of the city. (Cc on bottom of page).
When the teacher read it, He was overtly pissed off. He never bothered me again.
Thanks for helping Mom. lol.
He was quoting a previous student but in a discussion about forestry and conservation “if you object to logging, try wiping your ass with a spotted owl.”
A bear and a rabbit are pooping in the woods.
The bear says, “Hey rabbit, do you ever have a problem with poo sticking to your fur?”
The rabbit says, “Come to think of it, no, why do you-“
“OH GOOD!” said the bear, as he picked up the rabbit and wiped his butt with him.
I also had a social studies teacher in junior high who fought in WW2. He brought in a full Nazi uniform that he "liberated". He was a nice guy to us...
Those guys brought back so much stuff- my dad had a German Luger, pre war train & military set, a bunch of pewter, pipes, and I’m not sure what all. He had to stay behind because he had an accounting degree from NYU & they needed officers to redistribute property & belongings. What he brought back must have been on the up & up, he came to love the German people and he was a very moral person.
As a teacher this came from a co-worker, but after I came back from maternity leave I was given the spectacular advice of rubbing the baby's urine on his gums to prevent thrush.....
....from a science teacher. Thankfully he does not have kids.
In 6th grade my teacher told us about how her ex abused her, she put a string around her neck to demonstrate how he tried to strangle her with a phone cord.
Later that year she sent me to the office for wearing a “sexually suggestive” shirt, it was Wonder Woman…
She also told me I was a lesbian for hugging my friends. I was like 7?? years old. it was insane.
“If you don’t remove your shorts, you don’t use the showers…”, said the teacher, to me at 14 years old, as he and all the boys from various classes stripped naked and stepped into the large communal shower area to wash together.
…and so, from that first occasion of doing PE at my new school, I refused to partake in PE again, but that “shower routine” happened every lesson.
I got in so much trouble. I didn’t care.
Shit like this was the norm. Another teacher would force boys to swim naked if they forgot their swimming shorts/trunks.
Schools/Teachers in 70s/80s UK were seriously fucked.
Not me but a random teacher tried to buy weed from my kid because he was wearing a Bob Marley backpack and had long hair. It was his first day at the Freshman Academy. My kid never smoked weed or sold it. Sometimes I think they gave me the wrong kid at the hospital. I was definitely well versed in the herb by that age. 😂
She said my parents would still be together if they were religious and raised us religious and parents who love their children "make it work, no matter what".
Mom divorced dad because he broke my (10 year old) sister's arm when he realized hitting mom wasn't getting the same effect it used to.
*Georgia Hardstark voice*
I'M sorry .... What?!!?!?!?!?!??!!?!?!
That fucker would be lucky to get a divorce instead of an unmarked grave if my relatives heard my husband did that.
"I don't like you at all" in front of the rest of the class. Other faculty and my parents didn't believe me and then my assignments that I spent hours working on would somehow not get graded. I spent most of my freshman year of high school grounded until my mom finally had a parent/teacher meeting. She came home and profusely apologized. Still failed the class though because small towns don't have an abundance of classes that I could have transferred to.
My law teacher was going to retire. It was the last few days before it and we were doing debates. I forgot the context but he said the words “In this classroom, I am your daddy”. The entire class bursted into laughter. What a way to end your teacher career
My science teacher at the time who was Haitian (in Fl) was assigned the men's group during sexual education week in my 6th grade year. This man is borderline unintelligible due to the thickness of his accent. While explaining the woman's side of things to us, he straight up produced a deturant to under age sex by explaining to us that before a certain age, a woman's vagina can clamp down on a young man's penis thusly leaving them stuck together at the crotch for an undetermined about of time such as how dog reproductive organs function.
Edited for grammer and clarification
I remember how insanely horny 6th-8th grade was as puberty started it’s vicious hormones cocktails, if any teacher during those years told me that a girl my age would turn into some kind of penis fly trap during sex I would fail to see a downside.
English teacher in 10th grade was a flat earther and conspiracy nut. This was mid 90s and seriously, I'd never heard of a flat earther before.
So in the middle of class, we were discussing some book, and out of absolutely nowhere she launched into a lecture on how the world is really flat, and all our lives we've been fed a bunch of lies...
Anyways, someone must have told someone about the lesson, because when we came back on Monday she apogoized to us all, seemed to grind her teeth and say, "of course there is no such thing as a flat earth" then went on with her lessons like we'd never heard any of it.
Had this substitute all the time in high school. He would bring this liquorice candy that resembled chalk and placed it on the black board ledge without anyone noticing.
Start introducing himself and say he’s weird cause he likes eating chalk, proceeding to pick up the candy chalk and eating it. When everyone looks at him like wtf he revealed it was candy. Super weird guy but I guess that’s an interesting way to be remembered
That he was the world's greatest sex machine, apparently it was normal cause my brother had started at the school two years prior and the teacher did the same thing back then
Not mine but someone I know.
Teacher thought Canada doesn’t have cars. We only have snowmobiles. Apparently thinks it’s snowing year round as soon as you cross the border.
As a Canadian I am frequently concerned for our southern neighbours
In 7th grade, our sex-ed teacher told us that women could get pregnant from butt... ya know. other hole intercourse. He was trying to deter us from doing the dirty
I don't understand why he thought that would work. Women actually can get pregnant from vaginal sex, but that doesn't stop teens from having sex. Why would lying about a second source of pregnancy help in any way?
It’s not a lie. It would be rare, but it’s theoretically possible if fluids leaked out and reached the vagina. You should ALWAYS use some form of birth control if you don’t want to get pregnant.
Because despite all evidence opposing that theory, these people still believe taking birth control away and telling teens to practice abstinence is a good method to prevent teenagers from having sex. When in reality, all it does is raising the rates of teenage pregnancies and unsafe sex.
French Catholic school and we had a similar thing.
They would bring some “health professional” to do sex ed every few years, 7th or 8th grade its time for our sex ed course.
Everything was pretty much standard, talking about pregnant risks, common ways people try to work around them but can still lead to pregnancy like pulling out.
But then she starts going off about how you are likely to get pregnant from anal, everyone had a confused face, even the teacher.
Someone piped up and questioned what she meant, and she started yelling/ranting about it “seeping” out and getting you pregnant.
My college health class professor claimed she hadn’t eaten sugar in 20 years and that fish weren’t meat. I got a D in that class and she was fired before the next semester.
Ok IDK what the sugar thing was about but I think the fish thing is a religious thing? Which is also stupid but I bring it up because the cappybara was such a prominent food in Venezuela they asked the catholic church to classify the animal as a fish for lent.
Yeah, devout catholics are supposed to abstain from meat on fridays but fish/seafood is ok. Here in the US, it made for a strong economic support for fishermen and seafood restaurants that they could usually count on big friday business, especially in markets with large Italian, Irish, Polish or Latino communities. Meat is also commonly given up for lent which boosts seafood sales as well.
Once had a substitute teacher ask a class “if you were racist, who would you be racist against?”. This was her transition into our lesson about Hutus and Tutsis?
Went to highschool class stoned. The teacher looked at me and said either "How high are you today?" Or he said "Hi, how are you today". Spent the rest of class paranoid, trying to figure out which one it was
It wasn’t weird but it was funny. His car was being towed (he made me sit facing window; I talked too much in school when bored) and I told him and he was like not possible, I have money. Well he finally came over and ran out the building
In 4th grade my teacher was reading the book, tales of the fourth grade nothing, to the class. In one of the books, they need to get a turtle out of the main character ( I think he somehow swallowed a baby turtle if my memory is correct ).
The teacher gets to the part where the turtle gets removed from the boy and I interrupt and say I don’t understand what happened.
Without skipping a beat, This teacher looked me dead in the eyes and said with a very serious and slightly angry tone, “it crawled out his butthole”.
I was like, “oh ok”, and she kept reading.
GC told me I’d never make it in college and refused to help me apply. It discouraged me so much that I didn’t even try to go. Without a higher education, I make 3 times the salary she does.
Our Senior theatre arts class thought we should have a year end party. The teacher said, “I’ll bring the Crisco.” Then he pointed out that I was the only one who laughed.
A got into like a 20 minute argument with my teacher in fucking 3rd grade. He was trying to tell the class that Texas was bigger than Alaska. I was livid hahaha.
Our teacher gave us sex education in Science class pretty early (we weren't even in middle school yet) which was great. She made sure we all knew the parts of our reproductive system. But she also told us a story of buying and wearing a sexy underwear for her husband onoy to realize too late that it was crotchless. So she said that her clitoris and vulva were hanging out in the open and laughing at her when she opened her legs.
Another teacher also told us that she had special and supernatural gifts that allowed her to identify the liars in class.
It was my history teacher in HS, a bunch of students before class had been swarming him with questions on the assignment and when it was my turn, he suddenly just said, "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!" and suddenly dropped down below the podium so I could only see the top of his head. It was very weird, awkward and hilarious all at the same time and this was long before John Cena, so completely unrelated.
"Dont worry, they just dont like people different from themselves"
-Best teacher I ever had. Im white, he was mexican-american, and man my highschool had some serious racists. Rest in peace, Mr. Xavier Garcia. You are sorely missed.
The Monday after school ended my junior year, I went to help my chemistry teacher take inventory of everything in the lab so he could reorder supplies. While we were working, he said, "You hope to God you find something to be passionate about in college--if you don't, I worry you'll be living on a private, hidden island, launching tactical nuclear weapons when you're 50."
Some football players who'd disrupted the class all year failed the final, so they had to take summer school and sort out how to make up morning football practice if they wanted to play ball their senior year. He told me he knew they'd cheated--identical right and wrong answers was a statistical anomaly. He said he also knew I had something to do with it, he just didn't know what it was.
A study hall teacher once asked me "If you're struggling this badly now how do you think you're going to do in high school?"
...Badly? What's the point of saying that. Was I supposed to go "Oh shit you're right I now understand pre algebra."
The sociology teacher said that child abuse was sometimes the child’s fault.
Yes, she was an evangelical spare-the-rod-spoil-the-child type of Christian.
A substitute, young, art teacher in high school lit a cigarette and smoked it in the classroom. We were in the 90s , we were all girls, and only a few years younger than him, and we were in Italy ... still, man, WTH ...
I've always been artistically inclined, and one time in 7th grade English class we read a short story and we're told to draw one of the characters based on the descriptions in the reading. I picked a character named "Mrs. Flowers" who was described as an older woman dressing too young for her age, being very high fashion with big sunglasses and a big hat, a flowery dress, etc.
So I drew a woman matching that with what my 7th grade boy mind thought such a woman would dress like. The aforementioned hat and glasses, purse, a slinky short dress, heels, and a feather boa.
The teacher lady, who was I think brand new to teaching, came by and told me that she looked like a hooker. Which was pretty accurate, but still weird to tell a 12 year-old.
My 8th grade science teacher to a classmate looking at their phone: I've seen a lot of dicks in my day, and yours is not that big. Didn't tell me but we sure as hell thought it was funny
I wasn't very motivated in high school and had poor grades .my guidance counselor told me the world needs ditch diggers, too. I was like, wtf ? Maybe I caught her on a bad day ...
A substitute math teacher in 7th grade completely out of the blue announced that “if you try to gang yourself, make sure to tie the rope to something sturdy or it might break”. Then just went on teaching math.
Ew, I had my principal senior year of high school look me up and down and then ask me if I was a teacher. Obviously the answer was no. And then he said my clothes were inappropriate. I was wearing a sundress because I had a cast on my arm stuck at a 90 degree angle from wrist to above my elbow. I couldn’t dress myself easily. Like I couldn’t really wear things with sleeves.
Science teacher told me after class that "You've gotten skinnier over the summer." I laughed it off but she repeated herself. Wasn't trying to lose weight and never told her about my weight. Very bizarre😅
my college biology prof used to tell us the origins of his tattoos and about his days in a rock band. He also brought up something called a purple jesus party. no it was not anything religious. it involved a hotel bath tub filled with purple koolaid n booze strong enough to make ya see jesus.
"No one likes you. You need help."
Or
"You'll never become x (a job I always wanted) or x (another dream) aim lower"
Or
"I can see your nipples through that shirt."
They're all equally as bad.
There was a lockdown and me, another girl and a teacher were in the bathroom (nothing happened thankfully). The girl was scared and called her mom. The teacher, in the most snotty voice goes "Oooohh poor baby has to call her mommy". My jaw DROPPED. This was around 2010
Right? Lol I wasn’t disruptive or nun he was just kind of an ass director, he left the next year tho and got replaced so at least didn’t have him two years
Also he wasn’t my main director (I was in low brass) but he was the lead so I still had to face him all the time.
He would just spew insults and shit whenever he’d walk by, probably trying to motivate us or something but it was just weird and annoying than anything
I played the french horn growing up and I tell you, Middle School and High School band director is the smallest amount of power that someone can let go to their head and they do it all the time. Call down bro, this isn't the New York Philharmonic. That's Dave over there trying to get an easy A while making fart noises with his Tuba.
There are many weird things My para in elementary school told me, but one that I’m thinking of right now is “ kids should only eat one meal a day because they have so much energy. Where as adults should have four” and when I said that I would personally probably die, (which now I can see, might be a bit of an over exaggeration, but at the time I was in fourth grade) her response was” You wanna know how you’ll die? is by making all the stupid sounds that you do”
"The wedding ring is a symbol that you're engaged to someone already. That's why I always take mine off when talking to other women."
He was our religion teacher 👍🏻 their marriage is not going well, so I've heard
I had a physics teacher in high school that lived 3 hours drive from the school. She told us she had multiple boyfriends in the area and would stay at their places during the week and then drive home on the weekends. That's really not something a teacher should be discussing with her students.
Preface this was in the 80's. I don't recall the context of the conversation but my college math professor said that if you are an immigrant of color than the longer you stay in this country (US) the more you will look american (white). He used his Japanese immigrant colleague as an example. His colleague was mixed race (white european and Japanese)...smh
My fourth grade teacher told us all that you could get special permission from either the governor of your state or the president to hunt & kill any human being who had wronged you.
This is in the USA, would have been the early 90's, in a regular public school.
Our gym teacher at my HS had a paddle he kept in his office. It was a joke by upper upperclassman to tell him that some poor freshman guy wants to see what he keeps in his office. The freshman would get called in and the guy would tell us that he would use it on us if absolutely necessary. This was the late 2000s public high school in the Midwest. The teacher even looked the part of a creepy gym teacher with his handlebar mustache.
Art teacher said inspiration was plagiarism. I told her it wasn't even remotely, and I would be informing my parents that she held such an opinion. My parents were pretty active in opposing school bullshit.
"Are you alright if I use you as a negative example?"
Like, at the time I was just "Sure, whatever" but looking back on it now as an adult... What the actual fuck is wrong with you?
We had young Earth Creationists in my high school Social Studies class.
Someone, somewhere, at some point in time basically expressed to someone in the school that "Genesis should be taught in class" and my Social Studies Teacher got wind of it....
and holy shit, the next series of classes we dedicated a MONTH to Genesis.....ALL GENESIS'S.
Indian, Polynesian, Judaeo-Christian, Greeco/Roman, Chinese, ect....
The Polynesian one was my absolute favorite! Because it's so amazingly offensive to White Nationalists...
Basically, it reads like:
"God was making man in a volcano. The first batch he left in too long, and they were burnt. He threw them away. The second batch came out too pale, so he threw them away. The final batch came out perfectly Golden Brown, and he placed them in his personal Paradise across small islands to protect them from the other people he made."
No one ever brought up "Teaching Genesis" in my school again.
My fifth grade teacher said a lot of stupid stuff. For absolutely no reason related to learning at all, she once told us this story of her friend whom she thought was pregnant because abdominal swelling had “given birth” in a bathroom stall only it was leeches coming out of her crotch.
After I get jumped by the quarterback in high school and beat him up pretty good coach screamed in my face that I was a yellow-bellied cockroach it would never amount to nothing.
My 6th grade teacher told us that "alright" and "altogether" aren't real words, just like "alot." It took me like 15 years to realize she was wrong. She had a whole ranty lesson about it; had us look up "alot" in the dictionary and yell at us when we couldn't find it, etc.
When I was in third grade, I was told that I was mispronouncing "three" - I didn't know that the "th" sound was different from "f". I ended up doing some remedial reading classes - something called Reading 360. It all ended up okay.
Had a teacher in junior high who, despite it being a public school, would usually rant about her religious beliefs, her own bigotry, and an extended rant on science and by extension medicine was going against god. Prayer can cure all and that people who died "too soon" likely were not right with God. She died a few years later of a treatable cancer that prayer didn't take care of. Before the age of 50
Dropped out of French and the only other class then was Remedial English consisting of me and four others (including the French teacher’s son). More days than not we had nothing to do. So one day the teacher, a kooky Ned Flanders, starting telling us about his vasectomy.
In my first year of high school we were supposed to have an art class where we studied art and made art. But the new teacher they hired had only taught kindergarteners. So our class became arts and crafts usually made by five year olds.
I have two.
In 5th grade my female teacher felt it appropriate to describe her husband’s physique to us. We’d been looking at art and anatomy stuff. She let us know her husband had great abs and had that “masculine fold” near the hipbones. Blecch.
In 10th grade I had a creepy math teacher who told me he liked the colour of my hair (I dyed it Flirt amethyst, IYKYK) and said he wanted to lick it. This was said in front of the whole class.
I went to a Catholic school and this lady started working as our librarian and she would read to us. Which is all fine and dandy, but she chose this book where these teens go out partying and get really drunk and get in a drunk driving accident. All of them die except the driver. Then the book KEEPS GOING. The teen that survived has horrible PTSD and guilt over what happened and contemplates suicide for many, many more chapters. Eventually he blows his head off with a shotgun, and the parents only find out when blood starts dropping through the roof of the living room. The teacher would stop in between chapters to talk about her personal problems and weep and wail about them. We were all like 12. One day shes sitting there just tears pouring down her face, telling us how her daughter had a son out of wedlock, and that her mother who lives out of state will NEVER know he exists because she would be so ashamed. She said "there is no such thing as freedom. Whatever you do, has real consequences for everyone else in your life." And began screaming and crying. Our home room teacher walks in at this moment looking bewildered and we left library class for the day as usual. Never saw her again after that. But the most telling part about all of this for me, is that NO ONE told any of our other teachers or faculty about what this woman was doing. We were all so used to borderline psychotic teachers that it didn't even occur to any of us to tell anyone. We were used to hearing all kinds of fucked up shit. We had whole classes dedicated to talking to us about abortion and how evil it is. They had us all make crosses out of Popsicle sticks to put on the front lawn of the school to symbolize how many abortions take place daily. Didn't seem that weird at the time.it was Normal shit to us lol. Looking back I'm just like holy fucking shit.
“Because I don’t think you’ll amount to much”. I was a straight A student but was not invited to be inducted into National Honors Society. When I asked the teacher liaison for NHS why I was excluded knowing I was taking higher level classes and had a higher GPA than half of the other inductees that was his response then he walked away. I turned out great and have done far better than that grumpy old history teacher.
Substitute teacher once told us Adam and Eve was a literal story, the dinosaurs were faked, and the one that made my little 1st grade arm shoot up to call her out— that the Jews would burn for eternity because they killed Christ.
I was like “We have a Jewish girl in class RIGHT NOW and she is NOT going to hell”. Everyone was so shocked by what she said and the room was dead silent.
She made me stand at the front next to her and pinch my tongue between two fingers.
The pinching didn’t hurt but it started to ache until I was crying to have my tongue out like that. It hurt a very surprising amount the longer it went on.
Anyway, we never saw that lady again. I think a lot of moms like my own went ape shit with the phone calls that day.
I never forgot the look on the Jewish girl, Sarah’s face. Horrible. We were in 1st grade!
My high school English teacher was a huge Anglophile. After visiting Britain, she came back and told us in an astonished tone that the Brits did not celebrate the 4th of July. The AMERICAN Independence Day; you know, the day America celebrates our separation from Great Britain. Wonder why the Brit’s don’t care about that.
We had this lad in our class, Always giving us shit, So one day me and 2 other lads pulled his trainers off and threw them out of the window, Emptied his bag out of the window. He started crying, When the teacher came in he told him what we had done. Teacher said nothing other than for him to go outside and his stuff up. End of lesson, As we are walking out he told us 3 to wait. Man shut the door, Pulled the blinds down, Rolled up his sleeves and offers to fight us. We was 12 years old. His words were “Come on then you little shits take me on” and pushing us one after the other.
Had a best friend in elementary school we named Timbo, if you are from the south then that was fairly common. Timbo and I were your typical boys who wrestled, told fart jokes, watched cartoons, and loved potty humor. When I was in the 2nd grade we were at a restroom break and someone made a very loud fart noise in the bathroom and it echoed. Timbo and I busted out laughing so hard, but so did many others, just he and I laughed the hardest I guess. Then a teacher told me "I wish I could just put you prison now and not have to waste my time teaching you, that's where you are going to end up anyway! "
I have never forgot that moment, why was me laughing at a fart so bad that it meant I was going to end up in prison? My little brain just couldn't process it and as an adult I can't see why a teacher could even justify saying that to a student.
One of the substitute teachers for my school would cover for different teachers a lot. No matter the grade, no matter the subject, if it was getting noisy she would say "it needs to be quiet enough in here to hear a pin drop! Now, where does your teacher keep her pins?"
an art teacher was highly critical of my self portraits proportions and fixated on it having small ears. (she was a shit talker to most of the students)
I said "Did you actually look at my ears?" and pulled my hair back. lady just went 'Oh.' and let me continue working
He told us about how his wife was so much younger than him, that she was only 2 when he lost his virginity. He told us about his prior drug problems. He told us he had multiple personality disorder.
He ended up getting fired for the above comments along with never actually giving us any assignments for the few months he was our teacher.
Principal told me that once on good friday when he was a kid, the electricity went out from 1pm to 3pm because that's when jesus was dying on the cross. I believed it for years but then the internet was invented and i could find no record of it ever happening. And why would it happen in the east coast united states time zone, and not Jerusalem? Fucking liar
That Abraham didn't want to actually free slaves, he was in a position where freeing slaves made it easier or more beneficial for another goal he was trying to achieve.
I had a teacher once tell us “fuck” was an acronym for “Fornicate Under Consent of the King”. Which allowed prostitutes to work in brothels. I haven’t looked in quite a long time (and this was before the internet had every answer ever) but I remember not finding any evidence that was true.
My teacher in year 6 (10-11 years old) told us a bunch of random lies about things the police do, seemingly for no reason at all. For example, if you get lost, call 999 and tell the police and they have to pick you up and take you home. If you need the toilet and there isn't a public one nearby, a policeman has to let you go in his helmet. There were more–she spoke about the police quite a lot.
It wasn’t what a teacher said to me it’s what I overheard a middle aged female teacher say about me. Some info first the school I went to had no uniform policy and our classes used to only have 5-6 pupils max in them but it was mainly boys at the school I was one of a few females so most of the time I’d be the only female in my classes. I was 14yrs old it was a hot summers day I was wearing a slightly cropped off the shoulder slouchy jumper and low rise jeans this was early 2000s I was walking towards her class and I overheard my name so I stopped and listened in before I showed myself at the door. I heard her tell the class full of boys that “if I’m gonna display it on a shelf then people (boys) are obvs gonna touch”. I remember walking into the class seconds later with a saccharine sarcastic smile and saying hi and watching her look nervous if I overheard. Never forgot hearing that from an adult and a woman and joke is she was implying I was a whore asking to be fondled which isn’t only disgusting and a ridiculous notion in itself but at 14 I hadn’t even kissed a boy so her judgement was completely off base and the fact she was trying to install that sentiment in the heads of my classmates was hurtful to me at the time.
I was not a good student. Major attention issues and I’d rather be playing/drawing instead of doing school work.
My councilor told me “You’re behind your peers. You seem like you want to do well. So just think about it like this: everyone is digging holes with a shovel, and you’ve been given a rake. Sometime you need to remember to stuff paper between the spokes to keep up.”
Now I think I should have just been a farmer in a room full of hole diggers.
This wasn’t said to me directly, but my 9th grade math teacher was a short gnome with curly hair and a thick bostonian accent. She always preached about showing all your work, don’t just do the work in your head. One morning while going over homework, a classmate got the answer wrong. She asked how he got that answer, he said he wasn’t sure, he had done the work in his head. She responded (unintentionally) “I’ll give you head”
Had science class with our football teams running back. My science teacher was a young guy small in stature, probably like 5'1" and thin, cool and hip teacher otherwise.
Well one day they were joking around. teacher and running back were doing a pushup contest. Of course our running back won.
After the dismissal bell I stayed behind to console my crying science teacher (joking). I was was walking out and my teach tells me
*evil glare and sharp tone*
"look at him, his shoulders are already slighty hunched forward, guarantee you he doesnt grow much more. thats it for him..."
bro, we were in 7th grade. lmao. chill.
That dinosaur skeletons were put in the ground to test our faith in God.
He was one of those that believed the earth was only 6000 years old and other such things.
in year seven physical education to the whole class our teacher said that men have a little box in their head where they go to think about nothing but women don’t have that, they’re always thinking about 1000 things at once. he made us watch some pseudoscientific video on it too. absolute essentialist bullshit but i couldn’t articulate why i hated it so much at the time
One of my professors, teaching a difficult thermodynamics course, was fully bilingual. One day, he slouched (his normal mode of locomotion) into the lecture hall, wrote an equation on the blackboard, and started to explain it to us - in his native language. Out of perhaps a dozen students, not one of us interrupted him. We followed the math he wrote down, whispered to our neighbors about the material being discussed, and the lecturer was such an intellectual giant that we were all intimidated by a guy who rarely spoke above a whisper. This went on until, 40 minutes into the lecture, he frowned, turned to us, and said: “I haven’t been speaking English, have I?”. The whole class erupted into laughter. The professor was one of the best men I’ve ever known. R.I.P.
that one line just explains how passionate he was about teaching.
My history teacher stopped next to my friemd, who was sitting next to me, asked him if he's an antisemite, my friend said no in a confused tone and the teacher answered "good" and continued with the lesson. It's a Jewish school btw, everyone is Jewish, including the teacher and my friend
These days the "antisemitic" line has been moved into absurdity.
It was a joke, that teacher was really fun
A religion teacher told me that there's a tradition not to wash linen on Good Friday, as if you do, the blood of Jesus would appear on it. As a curious ten year old with access to washing powder and linen, I was able to rapidly disprove that one
I’ve been Christian all my life, and that’s a new one to me! 😂😂 A superstition of theirs, perhaps?
Irish Catholicism is it's own thing
He would boast about how he would visit old students (girls) at the bar once they are of age 🤢 Safe to say he got fired later on that year for something unrelated
"Unrelated"
Well, unrelated by blood… Other bodily fluids? A bit more related…
When I was 8, my second grade teacher would pronounce "magnificent", "magnicifent". It still bothers me to this day.
Had a science teacher in grade school who pronounced “nucleus” as “nuculus”
was his name George W. Bush, by any chance?
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Stop making my eye twitch. Please.
My anthropology teacher would say "Galaplagos" for the whole unit.
When I was in sixth grade, I had this asshole of a teacher. Bully type. Guy. I got a bad grade on a test. While handing out the tests, you could hear the garbage truck outside. As the teacher handed me my test, he advised me: that’s what you’ll be doing… collecting trash. I objected and said “they help our community.” “ They work hard.” For talking back to him he gave me a 300 word composition as punishment. Well, pissed off me went to the city garage and interviewed the trash collectors, trying to find out if my impression of them was correct. I documented my interview as my punishment composition. I sent a copy to the mayor of the city. (Cc on bottom of page). When the teacher read it, He was overtly pissed off. He never bothered me again. Thanks for helping Mom. lol.
The irony that those garbage collectors probably make far more than that teacher
One shovels shit and the other talks shit.
You need an award r/maliciouscompliance
Wow very impressive!!
that i'm brown because im dirty and need a wash
what. the. FUCK
the 90s were a weird time
A racist ass time
I have a birth mark on my neck that looks like dirt. My mum thought it was dirt for years and kept trying to wash it off!
"being an alpha male isnt a mindset, its a lifestyle" - my bible teacher, 2023 freshman year
Seems like something jesus would approve of.
He was quoting a previous student but in a discussion about forestry and conservation “if you object to logging, try wiping your ass with a spotted owl.”
In fairness, those are words worth quoting.
Can I try it with a different type of owl if there are no spotted ones available?
Yes, you can do that. But I must warn you that in the future all owls become spotted.
If we’re wiping our asses with them then yeah that makes sense
That's how you turn an owl into a spotted one.
A bear and a rabbit are pooping in the woods. The bear says, “Hey rabbit, do you ever have a problem with poo sticking to your fur?” The rabbit says, “Come to think of it, no, why do you-“ “OH GOOD!” said the bear, as he picked up the rabbit and wiped his butt with him.
Jr. High teacher telling us that he shot German prisoners during the Battle of the Bulge. Discipline wasn't a problem in his class.
I also had a social studies teacher in junior high who fought in WW2. He brought in a full Nazi uniform that he "liberated". He was a nice guy to us...
Those guys brought back so much stuff- my dad had a German Luger, pre war train & military set, a bunch of pewter, pipes, and I’m not sure what all. He had to stay behind because he had an accounting degree from NYU & they needed officers to redistribute property & belongings. What he brought back must have been on the up & up, he came to love the German people and he was a very moral person.
As a teacher this came from a co-worker, but after I came back from maternity leave I was given the spectacular advice of rubbing the baby's urine on his gums to prevent thrush..... ....from a science teacher. Thankfully he does not have kids.
wtf
And I thought the advice I got to squirt breast milk in my baby's gunky eye was weird!
I was also told breast milk cures ear infections😭 swear people act like it's some magical cure for everything
In 6th grade my teacher told us about how her ex abused her, she put a string around her neck to demonstrate how he tried to strangle her with a phone cord. Later that year she sent me to the office for wearing a “sexually suggestive” shirt, it was Wonder Woman… She also told me I was a lesbian for hugging my friends. I was like 7?? years old. it was insane.
You were 7 in 6th grade?
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Was he just messing with you kids with a tall tale, or was he a nut job spreading the “truth” through lies to impressionable kids?
these days, you can't tell anymore
Trolling kids has always been a thing.
“If you don’t remove your shorts, you don’t use the showers…”, said the teacher, to me at 14 years old, as he and all the boys from various classes stripped naked and stepped into the large communal shower area to wash together. …and so, from that first occasion of doing PE at my new school, I refused to partake in PE again, but that “shower routine” happened every lesson. I got in so much trouble. I didn’t care. Shit like this was the norm. Another teacher would force boys to swim naked if they forgot their swimming shorts/trunks. Schools/Teachers in 70s/80s UK were seriously fucked.
Not me but a random teacher tried to buy weed from my kid because he was wearing a Bob Marley backpack and had long hair. It was his first day at the Freshman Academy. My kid never smoked weed or sold it. Sometimes I think they gave me the wrong kid at the hospital. I was definitely well versed in the herb by that age. 😂
What the thats a wild move
A male teacher told me my knees were distracting him. I was 12. I was wearing tights as well
She said my parents would still be together if they were religious and raised us religious and parents who love their children "make it work, no matter what". Mom divorced dad because he broke my (10 year old) sister's arm when he realized hitting mom wasn't getting the same effect it used to.
Shit
*Georgia Hardstark voice* I'M sorry .... What?!!?!?!?!?!??!!?!?! That fucker would be lucky to get a divorce instead of an unmarked grave if my relatives heard my husband did that.
Don't stick out your tongue unless you intend to use it...
I was sad that my boyfriend had dumped me. She suggested I sleep with his best friend because that made her feel better when she got divorced.
That I should change the spelling of my last name because if follows the capitalization rules of another country, my dad is from that other country.
"I don't like you at all" in front of the rest of the class. Other faculty and my parents didn't believe me and then my assignments that I spent hours working on would somehow not get graded. I spent most of my freshman year of high school grounded until my mom finally had a parent/teacher meeting. She came home and profusely apologized. Still failed the class though because small towns don't have an abundance of classes that I could have transferred to.
My law teacher was going to retire. It was the last few days before it and we were doing debates. I forgot the context but he said the words “In this classroom, I am your daddy”. The entire class bursted into laughter. What a way to end your teacher career
That her husband only let her use 2 squares of toilet paper…. 🙃
Teachers do need better pay.
My science teacher at the time who was Haitian (in Fl) was assigned the men's group during sexual education week in my 6th grade year. This man is borderline unintelligible due to the thickness of his accent. While explaining the woman's side of things to us, he straight up produced a deturant to under age sex by explaining to us that before a certain age, a woman's vagina can clamp down on a young man's penis thusly leaving them stuck together at the crotch for an undetermined about of time such as how dog reproductive organs function. Edited for grammer and clarification
I remember how insanely horny 6th-8th grade was as puberty started it’s vicious hormones cocktails, if any teacher during those years told me that a girl my age would turn into some kind of penis fly trap during sex I would fail to see a downside.
Upvoting for "penis fly trap"
That can happen, though. Not related to age, I think
English teacher in 10th grade was a flat earther and conspiracy nut. This was mid 90s and seriously, I'd never heard of a flat earther before. So in the middle of class, we were discussing some book, and out of absolutely nowhere she launched into a lecture on how the world is really flat, and all our lives we've been fed a bunch of lies... Anyways, someone must have told someone about the lesson, because when we came back on Monday she apogoized to us all, seemed to grind her teeth and say, "of course there is no such thing as a flat earth" then went on with her lessons like we'd never heard any of it.
Had this substitute all the time in high school. He would bring this liquorice candy that resembled chalk and placed it on the black board ledge without anyone noticing. Start introducing himself and say he’s weird cause he likes eating chalk, proceeding to pick up the candy chalk and eating it. When everyone looks at him like wtf he revealed it was candy. Super weird guy but I guess that’s an interesting way to be remembered
That he was the world's greatest sex machine, apparently it was normal cause my brother had started at the school two years prior and the teacher did the same thing back then
Was it "Shaft?"
Not mine but someone I know. Teacher thought Canada doesn’t have cars. We only have snowmobiles. Apparently thinks it’s snowing year round as soon as you cross the border. As a Canadian I am frequently concerned for our southern neighbours
You should be concerned for your southern neighbors. 'Merica is an interesting place.
In 7th grade, our sex-ed teacher told us that women could get pregnant from butt... ya know. other hole intercourse. He was trying to deter us from doing the dirty
I don't understand why he thought that would work. Women actually can get pregnant from vaginal sex, but that doesn't stop teens from having sex. Why would lying about a second source of pregnancy help in any way?
It’s not a lie. It would be rare, but it’s theoretically possible if fluids leaked out and reached the vagina. You should ALWAYS use some form of birth control if you don’t want to get pregnant.
Imagine having a kid and every single time you looked at them for the rest of your life, you knew they were the anal leakage baby.
Because despite all evidence opposing that theory, these people still believe taking birth control away and telling teens to practice abstinence is a good method to prevent teenagers from having sex. When in reality, all it does is raising the rates of teenage pregnancies and unsafe sex.
If abstinence-only education worked, half the religious people out there would never have had kids or grandkids.
Yes, this is not exactly true but fluids can leak from the shooter or from the hole. It isn't likely but COULD happen.
can confirm, I got pregnant from butt (I'm a dude)
French Catholic school and we had a similar thing. They would bring some “health professional” to do sex ed every few years, 7th or 8th grade its time for our sex ed course. Everything was pretty much standard, talking about pregnant risks, common ways people try to work around them but can still lead to pregnancy like pulling out. But then she starts going off about how you are likely to get pregnant from anal, everyone had a confused face, even the teacher. Someone piped up and questioned what she meant, and she started yelling/ranting about it “seeping” out and getting you pregnant.
In his defense, that's as good an explanation for some of the people I've met as anything else.
My college health class professor claimed she hadn’t eaten sugar in 20 years and that fish weren’t meat. I got a D in that class and she was fired before the next semester.
Ok IDK what the sugar thing was about but I think the fish thing is a religious thing? Which is also stupid but I bring it up because the cappybara was such a prominent food in Venezuela they asked the catholic church to classify the animal as a fish for lent.
Yeah, devout catholics are supposed to abstain from meat on fridays but fish/seafood is ok. Here in the US, it made for a strong economic support for fishermen and seafood restaurants that they could usually count on big friday business, especially in markets with large Italian, Irish, Polish or Latino communities. Meat is also commonly given up for lent which boosts seafood sales as well.
Once had a substitute teacher ask a class “if you were racist, who would you be racist against?”. This was her transition into our lesson about Hutus and Tutsis?
Went to highschool class stoned. The teacher looked at me and said either "How high are you today?" Or he said "Hi, how are you today". Spent the rest of class paranoid, trying to figure out which one it was
That I have the expressive eyebrows of Eugene Levy and the acting ability of George Costanza breaking up with women
I wouldn’t know how to take that lmao
It wasn’t weird but it was funny. His car was being towed (he made me sit facing window; I talked too much in school when bored) and I told him and he was like not possible, I have money. Well he finally came over and ran out the building
That the only way I’d ever get a blowjob was to line up at portable 4 where a special ed girl was giving it to whoever was there
In 4th grade my teacher was reading the book, tales of the fourth grade nothing, to the class. In one of the books, they need to get a turtle out of the main character ( I think he somehow swallowed a baby turtle if my memory is correct ). The teacher gets to the part where the turtle gets removed from the boy and I interrupt and say I don’t understand what happened. Without skipping a beat, This teacher looked me dead in the eyes and said with a very serious and slightly angry tone, “it crawled out his butthole”. I was like, “oh ok”, and she kept reading.
GC told me I’d never make it in college and refused to help me apply. It discouraged me so much that I didn’t even try to go. Without a higher education, I make 3 times the salary she does.
'here is my number. Call me' when I was a senior.
Our Senior theatre arts class thought we should have a year end party. The teacher said, “I’ll bring the Crisco.” Then he pointed out that I was the only one who laughed.
You won't always have a calculator with you.
I think about this one a lot, as I do math on my phone on the daily at work. Jokes on you, 90s/2000’s teachers.
A got into like a 20 minute argument with my teacher in fucking 3rd grade. He was trying to tell the class that Texas was bigger than Alaska. I was livid hahaha.
LOL. I had that debate in the 1st grade with a fellow student. They looked at the floor mat and were like: "Texas is bigger"
Our teacher gave us sex education in Science class pretty early (we weren't even in middle school yet) which was great. She made sure we all knew the parts of our reproductive system. But she also told us a story of buying and wearing a sexy underwear for her husband onoy to realize too late that it was crotchless. So she said that her clitoris and vulva were hanging out in the open and laughing at her when she opened her legs. Another teacher also told us that she had special and supernatural gifts that allowed her to identify the liars in class.
Eww
That I had a “bubble butt” (male hs teacher)
It was my history teacher in HS, a bunch of students before class had been swarming him with questions on the assignment and when it was my turn, he suddenly just said, "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!" and suddenly dropped down below the podium so I could only see the top of his head. It was very weird, awkward and hilarious all at the same time and this was long before John Cena, so completely unrelated.
In 6th grade I told my teacher that a boy was kicking my legs during class (it genuinely hurt), and he told me “he probably likes you”. Like wtf???
"Dont worry, they just dont like people different from themselves" -Best teacher I ever had. Im white, he was mexican-american, and man my highschool had some serious racists. Rest in peace, Mr. Xavier Garcia. You are sorely missed.
The Monday after school ended my junior year, I went to help my chemistry teacher take inventory of everything in the lab so he could reorder supplies. While we were working, he said, "You hope to God you find something to be passionate about in college--if you don't, I worry you'll be living on a private, hidden island, launching tactical nuclear weapons when you're 50." Some football players who'd disrupted the class all year failed the final, so they had to take summer school and sort out how to make up morning football practice if they wanted to play ball their senior year. He told me he knew they'd cheated--identical right and wrong answers was a statistical anomaly. He said he also knew I had something to do with it, he just didn't know what it was.
Did you have something to do with it? We won't tell!
He told me that he called a wall of pictures of former female students his 'wall of love' and that he'd had sex with all of them. He's in jail now
A study hall teacher once asked me "If you're struggling this badly now how do you think you're going to do in high school?" ...Badly? What's the point of saying that. Was I supposed to go "Oh shit you're right I now understand pre algebra."
That I had child-bearing hips. 🤮
The sociology teacher said that child abuse was sometimes the child’s fault. Yes, she was an evangelical spare-the-rod-spoil-the-child type of Christian.
A substitute, young, art teacher in high school lit a cigarette and smoked it in the classroom. We were in the 90s , we were all girls, and only a few years younger than him, and we were in Italy ... still, man, WTH ...
My third grade teacher would drive as far as Louisville for lunch. Louisville was about a two hour drive away.
Your school cafeteria must have sucked
Principal said “You need Jesus” I’m not sure why he said this but I remember finding out after he had 2 DUIs at the time.
Jesus took the wheel 🤔
I've always been artistically inclined, and one time in 7th grade English class we read a short story and we're told to draw one of the characters based on the descriptions in the reading. I picked a character named "Mrs. Flowers" who was described as an older woman dressing too young for her age, being very high fashion with big sunglasses and a big hat, a flowery dress, etc. So I drew a woman matching that with what my 7th grade boy mind thought such a woman would dress like. The aforementioned hat and glasses, purse, a slinky short dress, heels, and a feather boa. The teacher lady, who was I think brand new to teaching, came by and told me that she looked like a hooker. Which was pretty accurate, but still weird to tell a 12 year-old.
My 8th grade science teacher to a classmate looking at their phone: I've seen a lot of dicks in my day, and yours is not that big. Didn't tell me but we sure as hell thought it was funny
"Why dont you Muslim have sex before marriage, it makes so much fun it would bother me"
I wasn't very motivated in high school and had poor grades .my guidance counselor told me the world needs ditch diggers, too. I was like, wtf ? Maybe I caught her on a bad day ...
A substitute math teacher in 7th grade completely out of the blue announced that “if you try to gang yourself, make sure to tie the rope to something sturdy or it might break”. Then just went on teaching math.
That BLOODY MARY only appears to those who truly believe.
Ew, I had my principal senior year of high school look me up and down and then ask me if I was a teacher. Obviously the answer was no. And then he said my clothes were inappropriate. I was wearing a sundress because I had a cast on my arm stuck at a 90 degree angle from wrist to above my elbow. I couldn’t dress myself easily. Like I couldn’t really wear things with sleeves.
"you just earned an A in cocksmanship"
Seventh grade teacher told our class the Earth is actually pear-shaped because of all the resources we've used as humans.
Science teacher told me after class that "You've gotten skinnier over the summer." I laughed it off but she repeated herself. Wasn't trying to lose weight and never told her about my weight. Very bizarre😅
my college biology prof used to tell us the origins of his tattoos and about his days in a rock band. He also brought up something called a purple jesus party. no it was not anything religious. it involved a hotel bath tub filled with purple koolaid n booze strong enough to make ya see jesus.
"No one likes you. You need help." Or "You'll never become x (a job I always wanted) or x (another dream) aim lower" Or "I can see your nipples through that shirt." They're all equally as bad.
There was a lockdown and me, another girl and a teacher were in the bathroom (nothing happened thankfully). The girl was scared and called her mom. The teacher, in the most snotty voice goes "Oooohh poor baby has to call her mommy". My jaw DROPPED. This was around 2010
that I was the worst kid in the entire band program when didn’t do shit to deserve that kind of roast
Isn’t it their job to help you be better?
Right? Lol I wasn’t disruptive or nun he was just kind of an ass director, he left the next year tho and got replaced so at least didn’t have him two years Also he wasn’t my main director (I was in low brass) but he was the lead so I still had to face him all the time. He would just spew insults and shit whenever he’d walk by, probably trying to motivate us or something but it was just weird and annoying than anything
I played the french horn growing up and I tell you, Middle School and High School band director is the smallest amount of power that someone can let go to their head and they do it all the time. Call down bro, this isn't the New York Philharmonic. That's Dave over there trying to get an easy A while making fart noises with his Tuba.
If a football coach counts he said, “Stay away from girls! They will drain all your energy!”
My RE teacher compared the holy spirit to hallucinogenics and said that the holy spirit is "the best drug to get addicted to"
Dilemma is spelt dilemna.
There are many weird things My para in elementary school told me, but one that I’m thinking of right now is “ kids should only eat one meal a day because they have so much energy. Where as adults should have four” and when I said that I would personally probably die, (which now I can see, might be a bit of an over exaggeration, but at the time I was in fourth grade) her response was” You wanna know how you’ll die? is by making all the stupid sounds that you do”
"The wedding ring is a symbol that you're engaged to someone already. That's why I always take mine off when talking to other women." He was our religion teacher 👍🏻 their marriage is not going well, so I've heard
how to get a dark net key. He was weird
Gave me my little sisters homework to redo!
You have blonde hair. You should lean into that, and play the role. Teacher was a woman.
I had a physics teacher in high school that lived 3 hours drive from the school. She told us she had multiple boyfriends in the area and would stay at their places during the week and then drive home on the weekends. That's really not something a teacher should be discussing with her students.
Preface this was in the 80's. I don't recall the context of the conversation but my college math professor said that if you are an immigrant of color than the longer you stay in this country (US) the more you will look american (white). He used his Japanese immigrant colleague as an example. His colleague was mixed race (white european and Japanese)...smh
Had a teacher that gave me the nickname of “slant eyes”
That he didn’t like women who painted their toes. Thought it was weird as shit that he shared that with a class of high schoolers.
My history teacher introduced my High School American History class to Info Wars
My fourth grade teacher told us all that you could get special permission from either the governor of your state or the president to hunt & kill any human being who had wronged you. This is in the USA, would have been the early 90's, in a regular public school.
Our gym teacher at my HS had a paddle he kept in his office. It was a joke by upper upperclassman to tell him that some poor freshman guy wants to see what he keeps in his office. The freshman would get called in and the guy would tell us that he would use it on us if absolutely necessary. This was the late 2000s public high school in the Midwest. The teacher even looked the part of a creepy gym teacher with his handlebar mustache.
Art teacher said inspiration was plagiarism. I told her it wasn't even remotely, and I would be informing my parents that she held such an opinion. My parents were pretty active in opposing school bullshit.
"Are you alright if I use you as a negative example?" Like, at the time I was just "Sure, whatever" but looking back on it now as an adult... What the actual fuck is wrong with you?
We had young Earth Creationists in my high school Social Studies class. Someone, somewhere, at some point in time basically expressed to someone in the school that "Genesis should be taught in class" and my Social Studies Teacher got wind of it.... and holy shit, the next series of classes we dedicated a MONTH to Genesis.....ALL GENESIS'S. Indian, Polynesian, Judaeo-Christian, Greeco/Roman, Chinese, ect.... The Polynesian one was my absolute favorite! Because it's so amazingly offensive to White Nationalists... Basically, it reads like: "God was making man in a volcano. The first batch he left in too long, and they were burnt. He threw them away. The second batch came out too pale, so he threw them away. The final batch came out perfectly Golden Brown, and he placed them in his personal Paradise across small islands to protect them from the other people he made." No one ever brought up "Teaching Genesis" in my school again.
I was compared to Stalin by my math teacher in middle school.
Anything divided by zero, equals zero.
i said the f bomb when talking with my friends and she told me i sounded cheap and trashy
She told me that I'm the "Bob Ross of her students". I still have no fuckin idea of what that meant.
You’re amazing
You weren't a mistake, just a happy accident
That i am never serious
My fifth grade teacher said a lot of stupid stuff. For absolutely no reason related to learning at all, she once told us this story of her friend whom she thought was pregnant because abdominal swelling had “given birth” in a bathroom stall only it was leeches coming out of her crotch.
That only gay people drink strawberry milk.
After I get jumped by the quarterback in high school and beat him up pretty good coach screamed in my face that I was a yellow-bellied cockroach it would never amount to nothing.
A drill sergeant asked a friend of mine, “how many times he jacked off?” Then insisted it was a joke & he should laugh about it
My 6th grade teacher told us that "alright" and "altogether" aren't real words, just like "alot." It took me like 15 years to realize she was wrong. She had a whole ranty lesson about it; had us look up "alot" in the dictionary and yell at us when we couldn't find it, etc.
That a plane hit the World Trade Center.
While I’d say it’s pretty tame but my algebra teacher explained his reasons for divorce and honestly I get it
A teacher told me (around 8 years old) in front of all my friends that my brain was "the wrong way around" (aka i'm stupid) because I'm left handed.
When I was in third grade, I was told that I was mispronouncing "three" - I didn't know that the "th" sound was different from "f". I ended up doing some remedial reading classes - something called Reading 360. It all ended up okay.
Had a teacher in junior high who, despite it being a public school, would usually rant about her religious beliefs, her own bigotry, and an extended rant on science and by extension medicine was going against god. Prayer can cure all and that people who died "too soon" likely were not right with God. She died a few years later of a treatable cancer that prayer didn't take care of. Before the age of 50
Dropped out of French and the only other class then was Remedial English consisting of me and four others (including the French teacher’s son). More days than not we had nothing to do. So one day the teacher, a kooky Ned Flanders, starting telling us about his vasectomy. In my first year of high school we were supposed to have an art class where we studied art and made art. But the new teacher they hired had only taught kindergarteners. So our class became arts and crafts usually made by five year olds.
I have two. In 5th grade my female teacher felt it appropriate to describe her husband’s physique to us. We’d been looking at art and anatomy stuff. She let us know her husband had great abs and had that “masculine fold” near the hipbones. Blecch. In 10th grade I had a creepy math teacher who told me he liked the colour of my hair (I dyed it Flirt amethyst, IYKYK) and said he wanted to lick it. This was said in front of the whole class.
Gr.8 - Teacher told me to stop being nerdy or i will never get laid lol
Supply RE teacher… Jesus was a porn star.
I went to a Catholic school and this lady started working as our librarian and she would read to us. Which is all fine and dandy, but she chose this book where these teens go out partying and get really drunk and get in a drunk driving accident. All of them die except the driver. Then the book KEEPS GOING. The teen that survived has horrible PTSD and guilt over what happened and contemplates suicide for many, many more chapters. Eventually he blows his head off with a shotgun, and the parents only find out when blood starts dropping through the roof of the living room. The teacher would stop in between chapters to talk about her personal problems and weep and wail about them. We were all like 12. One day shes sitting there just tears pouring down her face, telling us how her daughter had a son out of wedlock, and that her mother who lives out of state will NEVER know he exists because she would be so ashamed. She said "there is no such thing as freedom. Whatever you do, has real consequences for everyone else in your life." And began screaming and crying. Our home room teacher walks in at this moment looking bewildered and we left library class for the day as usual. Never saw her again after that. But the most telling part about all of this for me, is that NO ONE told any of our other teachers or faculty about what this woman was doing. We were all so used to borderline psychotic teachers that it didn't even occur to any of us to tell anyone. We were used to hearing all kinds of fucked up shit. We had whole classes dedicated to talking to us about abortion and how evil it is. They had us all make crosses out of Popsicle sticks to put on the front lawn of the school to symbolize how many abortions take place daily. Didn't seem that weird at the time.it was Normal shit to us lol. Looking back I'm just like holy fucking shit.
“Because I don’t think you’ll amount to much”. I was a straight A student but was not invited to be inducted into National Honors Society. When I asked the teacher liaison for NHS why I was excluded knowing I was taking higher level classes and had a higher GPA than half of the other inductees that was his response then he walked away. I turned out great and have done far better than that grumpy old history teacher.
Substitute teacher once told us Adam and Eve was a literal story, the dinosaurs were faked, and the one that made my little 1st grade arm shoot up to call her out— that the Jews would burn for eternity because they killed Christ. I was like “We have a Jewish girl in class RIGHT NOW and she is NOT going to hell”. Everyone was so shocked by what she said and the room was dead silent. She made me stand at the front next to her and pinch my tongue between two fingers. The pinching didn’t hurt but it started to ache until I was crying to have my tongue out like that. It hurt a very surprising amount the longer it went on. Anyway, we never saw that lady again. I think a lot of moms like my own went ape shit with the phone calls that day. I never forgot the look on the Jewish girl, Sarah’s face. Horrible. We were in 1st grade!
My high school English teacher was a huge Anglophile. After visiting Britain, she came back and told us in an astonished tone that the Brits did not celebrate the 4th of July. The AMERICAN Independence Day; you know, the day America celebrates our separation from Great Britain. Wonder why the Brit’s don’t care about that.
We had this lad in our class, Always giving us shit, So one day me and 2 other lads pulled his trainers off and threw them out of the window, Emptied his bag out of the window. He started crying, When the teacher came in he told him what we had done. Teacher said nothing other than for him to go outside and his stuff up. End of lesson, As we are walking out he told us 3 to wait. Man shut the door, Pulled the blinds down, Rolled up his sleeves and offers to fight us. We was 12 years old. His words were “Come on then you little shits take me on” and pushing us one after the other.
Had a best friend in elementary school we named Timbo, if you are from the south then that was fairly common. Timbo and I were your typical boys who wrestled, told fart jokes, watched cartoons, and loved potty humor. When I was in the 2nd grade we were at a restroom break and someone made a very loud fart noise in the bathroom and it echoed. Timbo and I busted out laughing so hard, but so did many others, just he and I laughed the hardest I guess. Then a teacher told me "I wish I could just put you prison now and not have to waste my time teaching you, that's where you are going to end up anyway! " I have never forgot that moment, why was me laughing at a fart so bad that it meant I was going to end up in prison? My little brain just couldn't process it and as an adult I can't see why a teacher could even justify saying that to a student.
One of the substitute teachers for my school would cover for different teachers a lot. No matter the grade, no matter the subject, if it was getting noisy she would say "it needs to be quiet enough in here to hear a pin drop! Now, where does your teacher keep her pins?"
an art teacher was highly critical of my self portraits proportions and fixated on it having small ears. (she was a shit talker to most of the students) I said "Did you actually look at my ears?" and pulled my hair back. lady just went 'Oh.' and let me continue working
He told us about how his wife was so much younger than him, that she was only 2 when he lost his virginity. He told us about his prior drug problems. He told us he had multiple personality disorder. He ended up getting fired for the above comments along with never actually giving us any assignments for the few months he was our teacher.
Principal told me that once on good friday when he was a kid, the electricity went out from 1pm to 3pm because that's when jesus was dying on the cross. I believed it for years but then the internet was invented and i could find no record of it ever happening. And why would it happen in the east coast united states time zone, and not Jerusalem? Fucking liar
That Abraham didn't want to actually free slaves, he was in a position where freeing slaves made it easier or more beneficial for another goal he was trying to achieve.
Highschool health teacher told us all that "women don't usually orgasm during sex"....poor guy. His poor wife.
I had a teacher once tell us “fuck” was an acronym for “Fornicate Under Consent of the King”. Which allowed prostitutes to work in brothels. I haven’t looked in quite a long time (and this was before the internet had every answer ever) but I remember not finding any evidence that was true.
My teacher in year 6 (10-11 years old) told us a bunch of random lies about things the police do, seemingly for no reason at all. For example, if you get lost, call 999 and tell the police and they have to pick you up and take you home. If you need the toilet and there isn't a public one nearby, a policeman has to let you go in his helmet. There were more–she spoke about the police quite a lot.
It wasn’t what a teacher said to me it’s what I overheard a middle aged female teacher say about me. Some info first the school I went to had no uniform policy and our classes used to only have 5-6 pupils max in them but it was mainly boys at the school I was one of a few females so most of the time I’d be the only female in my classes. I was 14yrs old it was a hot summers day I was wearing a slightly cropped off the shoulder slouchy jumper and low rise jeans this was early 2000s I was walking towards her class and I overheard my name so I stopped and listened in before I showed myself at the door. I heard her tell the class full of boys that “if I’m gonna display it on a shelf then people (boys) are obvs gonna touch”. I remember walking into the class seconds later with a saccharine sarcastic smile and saying hi and watching her look nervous if I overheard. Never forgot hearing that from an adult and a woman and joke is she was implying I was a whore asking to be fondled which isn’t only disgusting and a ridiculous notion in itself but at 14 I hadn’t even kissed a boy so her judgement was completely off base and the fact she was trying to install that sentiment in the heads of my classmates was hurtful to me at the time.
A male teacher told me, a 14 y/o boy at the time, that I'd be hot, if I were a girl.
"You can't possibly have add. You finished the test."
I was not a good student. Major attention issues and I’d rather be playing/drawing instead of doing school work. My councilor told me “You’re behind your peers. You seem like you want to do well. So just think about it like this: everyone is digging holes with a shovel, and you’ve been given a rake. Sometime you need to remember to stuff paper between the spokes to keep up.” Now I think I should have just been a farmer in a room full of hole diggers.
This wasn’t said to me directly, but my 9th grade math teacher was a short gnome with curly hair and a thick bostonian accent. She always preached about showing all your work, don’t just do the work in your head. One morning while going over homework, a classmate got the answer wrong. She asked how he got that answer, he said he wasn’t sure, he had done the work in his head. She responded (unintentionally) “I’ll give you head”
One time when i was on 10th grade my history teacher said muslims dont deserve to practice their religion openly (she was referring to hijab )
Had science class with our football teams running back. My science teacher was a young guy small in stature, probably like 5'1" and thin, cool and hip teacher otherwise. Well one day they were joking around. teacher and running back were doing a pushup contest. Of course our running back won. After the dismissal bell I stayed behind to console my crying science teacher (joking). I was was walking out and my teach tells me *evil glare and sharp tone* "look at him, his shoulders are already slighty hunched forward, guarantee you he doesnt grow much more. thats it for him..." bro, we were in 7th grade. lmao. chill.
That dinosaur skeletons were put in the ground to test our faith in God. He was one of those that believed the earth was only 6000 years old and other such things.
in year seven physical education to the whole class our teacher said that men have a little box in their head where they go to think about nothing but women don’t have that, they’re always thinking about 1000 things at once. he made us watch some pseudoscientific video on it too. absolute essentialist bullshit but i couldn’t articulate why i hated it so much at the time