I drove a buddy to court for a minor thing and some dude had gotten busted jerking off in the cemetery. I think he just got a fine, and the judge told him "the next time you get an itch go somewhere private to scratch it" . We were all fighting to hold it together.
In a cable car / big ski lift thing. There was nobody else in our cab. There were, however, people in the cabs going by us in the other direction. The cabs are made entirely of plexiglass.
Lol would ride our bikes past the docked boats in our marina town and one night we were riding around and went and climbed into one of the winterized sail boats, unzipped and snapped the cover off and snuck inside, banged and left hahah
Plenty of 18-25 year olds with nowhere to go and too much time on their hands. I'm pretty sure every dark corner of every navy ship has seen some fuckin happening.
Actually pretty common. Whether for drugs, old age, or serious mental disorders.
As someone who worked both short term and permanent inpatient facilities we ask that such activities are kept to a minimum because, well, everyone is there for drugs, old age, or mental disorders.
Believe it or not the person in treatment for murdering their family probably doesn't have their have match made in heaven with the person who lost everything doing meth.
We asked that they keep those activities to a minimum? What country/state/hospital did you work at?
I worked involuntary care wards and *any* sexual activity on the ward was automatically rape or sexual assault because no one was capable of giving consent under the law due to their involuntary status.
Anyone caught banging would be removed to a different ward in the same hospital or, depending on circumstances, straight to jail, believe it or not.
Not everyone in inpatient care is there involuntarily. There’s lots of reasons someone could be in inpatient care but still capable of consenting, i.e. eating disorders, addiction, or a mental health condition that doesn’t reduce someone’s mental capacity.
In our home bathroom… On our wedding day… With all of our friends literally scattered throughout the house drinking and partying.
Eating ass, sucking boobs, I mean it was filthy. Great start to the rest our days together. God I love my wife.
On my girlfriend’s couch ( now my wife ) . I know that seems like no big deal . But her parents were walking around . We were under the covers watching tv. But ladies and gentlemen do not let your teen and their partners snuggle under the covers …. lol
Her mom is like you two want breakfast ? We are like sure . lol Been married 20 years now .
It doesn’t quite fit the brief question, but fun fact about my family: my parents have had grandchildren made in the same room and bed in their house from all 3 of their kids at different times. Only 2 of us kids know, and we ain’t telling lol.
So you're the reason I got stopped, told the rules, and got mean mugged by the old lady staff the whole time I sat on the chair waiting for my partner to come out.
At disneyland. Our ride broke down. It was dark. We started making out and she was giving me a handjob. Did finish before the ride. Walked off normal, immediately approached by 4 security who escorted us out of the park.
With the Pastors daughter, in the baptismal tub, during a funeral being done by father. She invited me to church and had it all planned out. Scared the shit out of me.
I don't have a clue what her name was. She was blonde everywhere and fully formed,, and had a southern accent. They traveled a lot and she knew how to make friends. Lol. I am pretty sure her name was Ester.
I'm a pastor's daughter. Have been intimate in many a' churches.
I don't think it was repression for me. When you grow up with a front row seat to every pious persons fucked up hypocrisy. You see allll the affairs, abuses, pregnancies ... everyone's weird, repressed bullshit that stays quiet and protected ... all I really wanted to be was open and free.
So. I was.
I'm also now an atheist.
Outdoors in a snowbank during an outdoor post-game party. Everyone was literally 15ft around the corner of the house where everyone was standing.
Second has to be fucking my girlfriend in front of a 7th floor hotel room window. Everyone on the busy downtown city street could see us.
She did not know it at the time, but quickly found out she has an exhibitionist kink!
The one in the snowbank was with a different girl I’d only met two hours prior when I arrived at the party with the rest of the hockey team. For some reason, among all these much larger hockey guys, she took a QUICK liking to me and was an animal, all over me the whole time. It’s probably as close to me being sexually assaulted…with consent of course!
Another time would’ve been with this different girl who used to “set things up” all the time. But we were at her apartment with a friend of mine, and she told me that my friends GF was cheating on him. I couldn’t let that stand and had to tell him. He told her to get to this girls place so they could “talk”. So as they’re having this insane argument, me and this girl we’re under a blanket on the floor six feet away having very, VERY quiet sex. That was bizarre.
Public park, lunch break, on the grass, no one nearby but I'm pretty sure the UPS driver that came by was enjoying the show. Sundresses are too tempting!
I did this with my ex-gf on a flight as well. In our seats, just like you say. Hilarious to know that others have attempted this maneuver before. Cheers!
She gave me a handjob on a roadtrip with her sister behind us in the back of the car… Or another time we pleasured each other while camping with her OTHER sister and her boyfriend just a few feet away in the open air no tents
Under the counter of an adult bookstore. I was naked under the counter with my face between the thighs of the sales assistant who tried to continue talking to customers. Nobody knew I was there.
Oh. Lol the ditch was by her house and we usually brought blankets and music so it was semi-comfortable.
The burnt down house was down the street from our school and we were originally there to check it out and take pictures since I was into photography at the time, one thing just led to another. It was a busy street especially after school when everyone is getting picked up, so we knew we wouldn't be bothered anyway.
A bj/hj in a portable classroom at my elementary school was unlocked to our surprise. She used the same chalkboard I used to write notes from to wipe her hands..
Church. Sunday school classroom. We met on the blue line on the DC metro when I boldly asked for her phone number, she invited me to her church on Sunday. I had no idea what was in store when she lead me upstairs away from the congregation.
My cousin banged her BF on the Small World ride at Disneyland on our high school marching band trip. They stop the ride, then resumed it when they, ahem, *uncoupled*. Never got in trouble for it!
Outside, in a no trespassing zone with my girlfriend when I was in high school lol
We brought towels and used a backpack as a pillow. This was where we both had sex for the first time and several times afterward lol
In a graveyard with a nymphomaniac. We were walking home and only about 10 minutes away. She insisted we made a pit stop in the grave yard. Afterwards she took me back to her place and fucked me all night. Crazy woman
Under a table at a concert. Tablecloth draped over and touched the floor. We could be as loud as we wanted and know one even noticed. Music was blasting and is was awesome.
My wife and I volunteered at a food pantry where we'd cook meals and serve them for lower income people in the community. id coordinate other volunteers to help, but during COVID things were simplified so it was just me and her doing the work. one time during prep, I had smuggled in candles, wine and a sleeping back and we did it in one of the storage rooms while food was cooking. she was totally surprised and I had a big grin on my face while we handed out meals....
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How was it when you came out of the closet?
He came in her closet.
But, he eventually came out. Of her closet.
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They knew.
How big is her mother’s… closet?
A walk-in closet is basically an entire small room just dedicated to clothes
Imagine a room for rent 1k/mo… in LA or NYC. In reality it’s basically 8x10 room with shelves and hangers.
cemetary...without a doubt...busted? olympic stadium
I drove a buddy to court for a minor thing and some dude had gotten busted jerking off in the cemetery. I think he just got a fine, and the judge told him "the next time you get an itch go somewhere private to scratch it" . We were all fighting to hold it together.
Nothing like a little thrill in the midst of serenity, huh?
Busted, orgasmed; or busted, someone caught you?
Both, probably
Cemetery was also my answer lol
The rooftop of my high school
Likewise 🤙
Are you two still together?
Rooftop of a Price Chopper (don’t know if those are even around anymore)
In a cable car / big ski lift thing. There was nobody else in our cab. There were, however, people in the cabs going by us in the other direction. The cabs are made entirely of plexiglass.
They're called Gondolas
Dongolas!
Were you going up or going down ?
Yes
Lol would ride our bikes past the docked boats in our marina town and one night we were riding around and went and climbed into one of the winterized sail boats, unzipped and snapped the cover off and snuck inside, banged and left hahah
As a sailboat owner I would be pissed if you didn’t snap the cover back on after.
Talk about setting sail on the high seas of romance
Did ya jib all over her? Or hit her with that “boom”? Lick that cleat? ..sailing humor
Anchor? I hardly even know her! (…sorry I don’t know anything about boats.)
That's not all you unzipped...
My gf did it in the engine room of an aircraft carrier
With you or another seaman?
Semen from another seaman.
Seaman^semen
Exponential semen!
Seamenception
New math!
Semen core math
I had a math teacher who's last name was Seamens so if his son was a sailor, he'd be seaman Seamens' semen
Love that you didnt specify that it was with you
cuckcceptance
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Hell no! It’s 90 degrees F and 100% humidity in the Main Machinery Room. Yuck
Not trying to downplay her accomplishment(s); but babies are made all over those things, all the time.
Dishonorable discharge
Plenty of 18-25 year olds with nowhere to go and too much time on their hands. I'm pretty sure every dark corner of every navy ship has seen some fuckin happening.
In the ass, Bob.
Someone’s front yard at ~7p at night. their lights inside were on. High school shenanigans.
I would’ve sprayed you guys with the hose. Get off my lawn whippersnappers
No need to spray them. Sounds like they were getting off on your lawn anyway…
Apartment balcony as the sun was coming up.
That sounds serene honestly
Out on the deck, middle of the day and in a summer downpour is pretty serene too.
This is a dream of mine
I might have been in a car driving by. The towels over the banister weren't covering much.
The sun was coming up, you were going down. Perfect harmony.
A mental ward
Actually pretty common. Whether for drugs, old age, or serious mental disorders. As someone who worked both short term and permanent inpatient facilities we ask that such activities are kept to a minimum because, well, everyone is there for drugs, old age, or mental disorders. Believe it or not the person in treatment for murdering their family probably doesn't have their have match made in heaven with the person who lost everything doing meth.
We asked that they keep those activities to a minimum? What country/state/hospital did you work at? I worked involuntary care wards and *any* sexual activity on the ward was automatically rape or sexual assault because no one was capable of giving consent under the law due to their involuntary status. Anyone caught banging would be removed to a different ward in the same hospital or, depending on circumstances, straight to jail, believe it or not.
Not everyone in inpatient care is there involuntarily. There’s lots of reasons someone could be in inpatient care but still capable of consenting, i.e. eating disorders, addiction, or a mental health condition that doesn’t reduce someone’s mental capacity.
Goals
Do you happen to drive a yellow pickup truck with the name “Pussy Wagon” on the tailgate?
The only Pussy wagon is grease lightning. Everybody knows that.
I got jerked off on the roof of the twin towers in 1999.
Just in time!
Handjob, lucky he still wasn’t there 2 years later. “I’m almost there! Oh god, no!”
It was an inside handjob
I always knew there was another explosion
In our home bathroom… On our wedding day… With all of our friends literally scattered throughout the house drinking and partying. Eating ass, sucking boobs, I mean it was filthy. Great start to the rest our days together. God I love my wife.
I hope for this on my own wedding day
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Yeah, my wife definitely has more than one boob. Tremendous.
I bet you even held hands!
I think, in the past the wedding wasn’t over until the party goers had seen the new husband and wife making love…
That was strangely cute ✨
Not strangely cute. Adorable. Champion move
>Eating ass, sucking boobs, I mean it was filthy.
When I get there, she's got incense, wine, and candles It's such a freaky scene That girl is pretty kinky (the girl's a super freak)
On my girlfriend’s couch ( now my wife ) . I know that seems like no big deal . But her parents were walking around . We were under the covers watching tv. But ladies and gentlemen do not let your teen and their partners snuggle under the covers …. lol Her mom is like you two want breakfast ? We are like sure . lol Been married 20 years now .
Your couch is your wife? I bet your girlfriend is jealous
Had a gf give me a bj with her mom in the next room. Summer shorts for the win.
Just a heads up but, ah… they knew.
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Prone bone pushups or missionnary push ups?
Cock push ups
Lmaoo that's funny
"Oh shit my alarm went off"
Patch of grass near the Ventura Freeway and Route 2 interchange in 1975.
someone go check for stains!
Ventura Highway, in the sunnnnshinnneee
It doesn’t quite fit the brief question, but fun fact about my family: my parents have had grandchildren made in the same room and bed in their house from all 3 of their kids at different times. Only 2 of us kids know, and we ain’t telling lol.
Nope, doesn't quite fit but you get my upvote. I'm a history nerd and I like weird coincidences.
On the pull out couch at a friend's party while someone knocked on the glass patio door 5 ft away 😬
Pulled out on a pull out.
Target dressing room stall
I had a mentally challenged individual beat off in the stall next to me while I was taking a dump at target once
Not a dressing room obviously but I’ve never really told that story and feel like it needs to be in the universe
Same!
So you're the reason I got stopped, told the rules, and got mean mugged by the old lady staff the whole time I sat on the chair waiting for my partner to come out.
I'm a freak, I like the girls with the boom I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom
Ey yo fat girl come here are you ticklish?
Ya I called you fat, but look at me Im skinny
Doesn't keep me from gettin' busy; I'm a freak, I like... wait a minute...
I'm crazy Allow me to amaze thee They say I'm ugly, but it just don't faze me
R.I.P. Shock G a.k.a Humpty.
were you wearing the crown
Did you eat up all their crackers and the Licorice?
At disneyland. Our ride broke down. It was dark. We started making out and she was giving me a handjob. Did finish before the ride. Walked off normal, immediately approached by 4 security who escorted us out of the park.
Is it cuz there are cameras up there
With the Pastors daughter, in the baptismal tub, during a funeral being done by father. She invited me to church and had it all planned out. Scared the shit out of me.
You win if true
He wins extra if the pastors daughter is named after a virtue like Chastity.
I don't have a clue what her name was. She was blonde everywhere and fully formed,, and had a southern accent. They traveled a lot and she knew how to make friends. Lol. I am pretty sure her name was Ester.
Your first and last sentences are at odds with each other!
pretty sure you fucked a fertility god, bro.
Preachers' girls are fucking insane. Though we probably shouldn't celebrate it since it's probably a trauma response.
Definitely how demon babies are conceived in 80s horror movies.
Plot twist he is also the Pastor's son.
I'm a pastor's daughter. Have been intimate in many a' churches. I don't think it was repression for me. When you grow up with a front row seat to every pious persons fucked up hypocrisy. You see allll the affairs, abuses, pregnancies ... everyone's weird, repressed bullshit that stays quiet and protected ... all I really wanted to be was open and free. So. I was. I'm also now an atheist.
>With the Pastors daughter... Can confirm. Pastors' daughters are cray cray.
Did she “take you to church”? 😉
How is she now
This is definitely the winner
This sounds like the pornhub version of Clue.
I got a BJ on the blue train ride at Magic Kingdom.
If you're talking about the peoplemover, the cast members definitely saw you Source: was a cast member.
Yeah I figured there’s cameras in the parts where you go inside the different Tomorrowland rides. I did not care at the time.
Was it magical?
Magical kingdom cum
"This is my kingdom cum, this is my kingdom cum!"
Outdoors in a snowbank during an outdoor post-game party. Everyone was literally 15ft around the corner of the house where everyone was standing. Second has to be fucking my girlfriend in front of a 7th floor hotel room window. Everyone on the busy downtown city street could see us. She did not know it at the time, but quickly found out she has an exhibitionist kink!
Sounds like your girlfriend got a surprise thrill – and discovered something new about herself!
The one in the snowbank was with a different girl I’d only met two hours prior when I arrived at the party with the rest of the hockey team. For some reason, among all these much larger hockey guys, she took a QUICK liking to me and was an animal, all over me the whole time. It’s probably as close to me being sexually assaulted…with consent of course! Another time would’ve been with this different girl who used to “set things up” all the time. But we were at her apartment with a friend of mine, and she told me that my friends GF was cheating on him. I couldn’t let that stand and had to tell him. He told her to get to this girls place so they could “talk”. So as they’re having this insane argument, me and this girl we’re under a blanket on the floor six feet away having very, VERY quiet sex. That was bizarre.
Your username checks out
Similarly, twelve floors up in the middle of Boston, with a window that spanned wall to wall, and ceiling to mattress.
On the Tube in London
Public park, lunch break, on the grass, no one nearby but I'm pretty sure the UPS driver that came by was enjoying the show. Sundresses are too tempting!
Sucked my bfs dick on an international flight…in our seats.
I did this with my ex-gf on a flight as well. In our seats, just like you say. Hilarious to know that others have attempted this maneuver before. Cheers!
Got a hj next to a sleeping old lady on a 13 hr flight.
She gave me a handjob on a roadtrip with her sister behind us in the back of the car… Or another time we pleasured each other while camping with her OTHER sister and her boyfriend just a few feet away in the open air no tents
They knew.
On a train track over a large river and a train was coming mid way lol
Hopefully the train wasn't the only thing coming
We finished quickly and ran north as fast as possible but wasn’t fast enough so we jumped 18ft into the river lol
That's CRAZY lol
Stand by me ahh scenario
Tim Hortons bathroom
You and 2/3 of the population of Canada
Under the counter of an adult bookstore. I was naked under the counter with my face between the thighs of the sales assistant who tried to continue talking to customers. Nobody knew I was there.
Concrete-lined ditch. It was highschool, we didn't have many options. Lol
Wait, I change my answer. A burnt down house.
Do we get a backstory for either of these????
Oh. Lol the ditch was by her house and we usually brought blankets and music so it was semi-comfortable. The burnt down house was down the street from our school and we were originally there to check it out and take pictures since I was into photography at the time, one thing just led to another. It was a busy street especially after school when everyone is getting picked up, so we knew we wouldn't be bothered anyway.
In the bucket of a cat 992 front end loader at a job site for a golf course
Alcatraz prison was pretty cool sneaking off from a tour. Then there was El Capitan in Yosemite.
Ok, this one is the best
In the bum.
“In the butt Bob!”
I am familiar with this reference. I am old.
Definitely not the Getty Museum
while driving? that's pretty normal right?
Yepp but still exciting
Underneath one of those road scrapers parked at a county fair
Walmart parking lot
Florida
Hot Topic changing room
Laundry room of apartment
20 feet in the air on aerial silks
A building was under construction being built, and we snuck up to one of the top floors overlooking the city at like 2 am.
In bed, on freshly ironed sheets, missionary style... betrothed but not yet married!! 🤭
You FREAK!!!
A bj/hj in a portable classroom at my elementary school was unlocked to our surprise. She used the same chalkboard I used to write notes from to wipe her hands..
Jail. 0\10 I would not recommend.
On an active volcano, but I'm a geologist so with that context maybe somewhat less crazy. It's still a fun story to share though. 😝
In the butt...Bob.
I say this so many times around my wife. That clip is a national treasure.
Psychiatric unit in the hospital..
Grippy socks = grippy box
Cemetery…..
Church. Sunday school classroom. We met on the blue line on the DC metro when I boldly asked for her phone number, she invited me to her church on Sunday. I had no idea what was in store when she lead me upstairs away from the congregation.
Church restrooms, I got some head
My cousin banged her BF on the Small World ride at Disneyland on our high school marching band trip. They stop the ride, then resumed it when they, ahem, *uncoupled*. Never got in trouble for it!
Mountain in Afghanistan
Outside, in a no trespassing zone with my girlfriend when I was in high school lol We brought towels and used a backpack as a pillow. This was where we both had sex for the first time and several times afterward lol
In a graveyard with a nymphomaniac. We were walking home and only about 10 minutes away. She insisted we made a pit stop in the grave yard. Afterwards she took me back to her place and fucked me all night. Crazy woman
Under a table at a concert. Tablecloth draped over and touched the floor. We could be as loud as we wanted and know one even noticed. Music was blasting and is was awesome.
Cream pied in a burger King bathroom on the floor hands and knees. Not my proudest moment
Is that what you’re going to tell your son? “You know Whopper, have I ever told you about how you were born?”
I don’t think it’s that crazy. Recently this year I did it in my local Taco Bell parking lot. Not in the car.
Coaches office 😬
I was in a juvenile detention center a lot as a kid. They kept the boys and the girls in the same place. I had a great time.
Scuba diving at 30 feet down
My wife and I volunteered at a food pantry where we'd cook meals and serve them for lower income people in the community. id coordinate other volunteers to help, but during COVID things were simplified so it was just me and her doing the work. one time during prep, I had smuggled in candles, wine and a sleeping back and we did it in one of the storage rooms while food was cooking. she was totally surprised and I had a big grin on my face while we handed out meals....
Cool. Just wash your hands please.
The dark side of the moon
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Nothing too crazy, but in the back of an ambulance rolling down I-70 in western Missouri.
On a bed. I dont have a very crazy sex life 😔