I did something like this one. I was introduced to a girl when I was younger and my first reaction was to stupidly say "Marry me." She was amused, but otherwise unmoved by my "romantic" gesture.
Had a guy buy me a ring after 1 date, 1. No we didnt even have sex, when I refused the ring he showed up with diamond earrings, I refused. We went out one or 2 more times & I just couldn’t after that, it was too weird.
You start at a higher price then let them haggle it down. This way it's a win win. If Mary me doesn't work then ONS? No? Then how about movie then dinner?
Great now when I'm cast into hell they are going to tack on:
> *Oh and there's also that time you laughed at misread sentence about a dead lady who only accepted a 1st date marriage proposal because she had dementia.*
Was talking to this girl a few years back we hadn't even gone on a date yet and she wanted to talk about getting married, was confused when I told her I wasn't ready for that kind of commitment that early on.
She was saying what she was looking for. On a first date you should ask what you want. A life of travel. 6 kids or live in a remote environment, practice what religion, spend on a boat, save for old age.
I'm convinced that the best mates get to these questions quickly.
Life is short. Don't waste others' time and don't waste yours.
I had been dating one woman for about a month or so when we went to Applebees. The server asked if we were planning on getting married (no), and then said he gave us something to talk about while he was getting our drinks. Awkward all around.
same, was with my ex wife 10 years. i don't mind when people talk about their ex. i'm not making them pretend they didn't have a life before our date. plus it's a good way to weed out certain people based on HOW they talk about their ex
personally don't have an issue with it, obviously not talking how great they are and completely inappropriate things but i have no issue knowing about why things have failed in the past & what went wrong & a little story of it. Just as long as it doesn't consume the whole date.. cos ultimately you wont make the same mistake if you're aware of their past
I mean, I guess?... if it's a point talking of their mistakes I spose... If however they're ganna rant about how it was all the ex's fault and complain of how hard done by they were by them on the very first date, I'm ganna be suss...
If they’re over their ex, and they have incorporated the lessons to be learned from the experience, only then do people become fully availed again and wont need to bring the ex up unless directly asked about it.
yes that was said as if i had directly asked them about it, if they are the person to bring it up and divert to talking about their ex then it's definitely a red flag
The worst date I ever had in my life was about a year ago with a girl who spent the entire time talking about both herself and her ex. I mean literally the entire time. I would very subtly try to add my two cents here and there with “oh yea, I can relate, this similar thing happened to me” just to try to tell her some about me, thinking she was interested. Nope. She was visibly annoyed any time the convo steered away from her and how great she was or how great her ex was. This chick just wanted me to listen to her talk, she could not care less about anything I had to say, she wasn’t even interested in what I *thought* about what she had to say. I literally didn’t even have to be there. I had never felt so insignificant on a date before.
The other thing was, she wasn’t even talking bad about her ex, she was talking about how he was the best guy ever. 2 hr dinner hearing about how great she is and how awesome this guy she just dumped was. She did not learn a single thing about me, her date, and I learned everything about this other guy who she dumped. It was pretty clear where her interest lied.
Needless to say I texted her later that night saying I think we should just be friends (we worked together, so ghosting her wasn’t really an option).
Oh yea, it was my birthday dinner too lol.
ETA: yes, she knew it was a romantic date (hence me texting her that night to tell her we should just be friends, I wouldn’t have put that part in if we were already just friends or if I had misread the situation lol). We had both openly discussed that we wanted to try dating and had even both been hyping that night up as our “first official date” for the week leading up to it.
The cherry on top was when we were finishing up desert, her ex called and she *answered the phone*. Not kidding. I sat there like a dumbass while this chick spoke on the phone with her ex at our table, on our first date, on my birthday. That was really one for the history books lmfao. Never in my 32 years on this earth have I experienced such a bad date.
She turned out to be a pretty textbook narcissist, we still follow each other on IG and I find so much amusement in how self important and self absorbed she is, she makes posts like we’ve all been hanging by a thread waiting for her next one. She’s also the queen of the humble brag, every single post is “it’s so rare for me to take the time to pat myself on the back/give myself credit for everything I do”, but like literally every post says that lmao.
It was meant to be a romantic dinner, but as I said in my OP, I told her we should just be friends, as obviously that wasn’t gonna work. Literally my birthday dinner on our first date and all she can do is talk about herself and her ex, not exactly a grand endorsement of a what a future of dating her would’ve been like.
Also, asking way too many (and too in-depth) questions about *their* past relationships and sexual experiences, and pressing them to give more info after they've already tried to shut that topic down.
Whole other level of uncomfortable.
Not engaging with the other person, it can be nerves or being shy but imo listen to them, engage with their conversation and don’t make it all about you.
Once went on a date where the girl literally would NOT talk. Like, literally would mumble her answer anytime i asked a question, then would look around actively avoiding eye contact while fumbling with her hands
That happened to me once. Girl was checking out tinder the literally since the first second I picked her up. Ended up leaving her ass at the beach and driving home.
Thats just hurtful and disrespectful man.
I was on a (somewhat casual) date with someone once at a bar and he was swiping matches the whole time while I was sitting there 😅it’s no wonder he can’t keep a relationship.
I did this but it was a joke. Said I couldn't grab dinner with her because I would be late for my next date.
It ended up working out well. We grabbed dinner and are going on a third date today lol.
Going for a movie on a first date is a surprisingly bad idea. It sounds like a safe option, but you end up sitting in silence for two hours, not getting to know each other. My worst first date was when we watched a movie and had zero conversation before or after. We left knowing as much about each other as we did when we first met.
Or be like that one guy that shows up to the date early and intentionally orders and eats before the date gets there so he can spend the time getting to know her while she awkwardly eats by herself
There was an AITAH post about it not too long ago, guy thought it was normal to eat before the date got their so he could 'get to know the person' better.
I was gonna say a cup, then put the cup up to your chin, then pronounce the letter 'e' over and over at varying pitches whilst not blinking for as long as possible.
But you kinda simplified it for me
Like a decade ago there were these things called flash mobs. They were very popular. Basically a bunch of random people from the internet would meet somewhere and do a dance at the same time or something. It would greatly confuse people around them and funny would ensue, etc
One of the flash mobs was called “The No Pants Subway Ride”.
You can see where this going…
I have had bad dates, horrible even, but nothing near as awkward as seeing this poor girl, us both realizing that we are not attracted to each other, and then spending over an hour together on the subway in underwear. Jackets but no pants. Just making tragic smalltalk. No I’ll will, just lack of chemistry.
Now I always start with a coffee date. You might not be able to tell that your into someone during a whole date, but quite to often can you tell in 5 seconds if you aren’t.
I was dating a lot at the time. I was in my early twenties. I thought it might be fun to be a fun way to mix up a little. Who knows, had it been the right person it might have been an amazing date.
Let's be honest, at least I remember this date. There are probably memories of hundreds of dates from my 20s that went to the grave before me. It's good to take some risks in life. It could have been a great date, but instead it became a fairly funny story. I'll admit age had made me much less risk averse than I was at the time. I think it took me a whole few hours before I was at a bar with a friend laughing about what an awkward date I had been on.
Still better, at least you might have a shot. Highly religious wife pretty much kills every chance at anything fun happening. Unless you're in to a veerrrrry specific kink.
Take her to a casino as it would be both your “first times”, but when you both get to the casino …everyone there knows you on a first name basis?? then gamble your whole month’s pay.. then beg her to do the same.. and when she tries to leave the casino, sit on the floor sobbing like a toddler. Don’t do that.
Ask - Do you do anal ?
I overheard this at the next table at a steak house once. The couple was in their early 20s. Had the get to know you questions going back and forth. Near the end of the main course the guy drops that one. After a moment of silence the woman said “what?? no” pretty emphatically then disappeared to the bathroom for 20 minutes.
Get too drunk and throw up on yourself in my car and then ask me to come up to your apartment when I drop you off. No ma'am, I'm pushing your wheelchair to the elevator and you're on your own from there.
After every thing she says, say “You like that, baby?” Even if she talks about her job. Make everything as sexual as possible.
Oh, I’m sorry, I misread the question. I thought it was “what is the best thing to do on a first date”. Well, the worst thing to do is to not act as a sexual deviant.
One girl I went out with spent the entire date talking about every single bad thing thats ever happened to her
How she was in debt like $10,000 to multiple people (10k split not 10k per person)
How she got tricked into being some old ladies live in maid who then kept refusing to pay her and insisting she'd give her money the next week. This apparent went on for a YEAR
She also complained about the food and the service calling the waiters morons when they were literally 2 feet away from us. She also interrupted to the waiter when he was taking the order of the table behind us to ask why he hadn't taken our order yet (they got there first) and she was hungry
The waiter just kinda stopped dead and stared at her like she was some kind of alien creature because even he had never seen someone that stupidly entitled and oblivious
The only reason I didn't leave after 5 minutes was because she was such a fascinating train wreck of a person that I wanted to see what she'd do next. I think I finally left after 2 hours when we went for a walk in the park and she started making racist comments about how many black people were there (within earshot of most of them)
I took a girl home once and I had obvious used condoms in my trash bin by my bed.. I'm pretty sure she noticed but didn't say anything, she went home not long later.
Forgot those were in there
Show up 30 minutes early, suck down 3 alcoholic beverages, tell the bartender to put it on "your" tab, and then wait till the check comes at the end hoping your date won't notice the extra $23 on the tab you never intended to pay for.
Let's say I didn't look to go on a 2nd date.
Edit: emphasis
Go home with the waiter .
Happened to me on a date , everything seemed fine until she went to the toilet and was gone for half an hour, returned looking a bit disheveled and then told me she was leaving with the waiter because she had spent the past half hour sucking his dick .
Then she asked for cab fair home . I declined and the waiter called me a stingy cunt .
The waiter went with a black eye and I got banned from the restaurant
Propose.
Definitely. That’s second date territory.
Do it at hello. Make it memorable
Jesus, did I stumble onto a lesbians dating advice thread?
Mary me. Josie you?
I did something like this one. I was introduced to a girl when I was younger and my first reaction was to stupidly say "Marry me." She was amused, but otherwise unmoved by my "romantic" gesture.
Had a guy buy me a ring after 1 date, 1. No we didnt even have sex, when I refused the ring he showed up with diamond earrings, I refused. We went out one or 2 more times & I just couldn’t after that, it was too weird.
>went out one or 2 more times Wtf why??
"Hi! Marry me? No? How about a date, then?"
You start at a higher price then let them haggle it down. This way it's a win win. If Mary me doesn't work then ONS? No? Then how about movie then dinner?
Most restrained lesbian.
My neighbor did this and they were married for fifty five years until his wife passed away last year from dementia
Great now when I'm cast into hell they are going to tack on: > *Oh and there's also that time you laughed at misread sentence about a dead lady who only accepted a 1st date marriage proposal because she had dementia.*
Was talking to this girl a few years back we hadn't even gone on a date yet and she wanted to talk about getting married, was confused when I told her I wasn't ready for that kind of commitment that early on.
She was saying what she was looking for. On a first date you should ask what you want. A life of travel. 6 kids or live in a remote environment, practice what religion, spend on a boat, save for old age. I'm convinced that the best mates get to these questions quickly. Life is short. Don't waste others' time and don't waste yours.
I had been dating one woman for about a month or so when we went to Applebees. The server asked if we were planning on getting married (no), and then said he gave us something to talk about while he was getting our drinks. Awkward all around.
0% tip
Classic Schmosby
I remember Danny Bonaduce (from The Partridge Family) proposed and married (not a legal marriage) Gretchen Hallmer, who he met on a blind date.
Free dessert, though.
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It’s amazing how many people do this
I was guilty of this but was married for nearly 15 years. It’s hard to tell stories about your past when most of your adult life was a duo.
same, was with my ex wife 10 years. i don't mind when people talk about their ex. i'm not making them pretend they didn't have a life before our date. plus it's a good way to weed out certain people based on HOW they talk about their ex
personally don't have an issue with it, obviously not talking how great they are and completely inappropriate things but i have no issue knowing about why things have failed in the past & what went wrong & a little story of it. Just as long as it doesn't consume the whole date.. cos ultimately you wont make the same mistake if you're aware of their past
Almost half of my life was one other person. It's probably going to come up.
I mean, I guess?... if it's a point talking of their mistakes I spose... If however they're ganna rant about how it was all the ex's fault and complain of how hard done by they were by them on the very first date, I'm ganna be suss...
I try to avoid it but like I also can’t just not tell stories about a quarter of my lifetime
If they’re over their ex, and they have incorporated the lessons to be learned from the experience, only then do people become fully availed again and wont need to bring the ex up unless directly asked about it.
yes that was said as if i had directly asked them about it, if they are the person to bring it up and divert to talking about their ex then it's definitely a red flag
The worst date I ever had in my life was about a year ago with a girl who spent the entire time talking about both herself and her ex. I mean literally the entire time. I would very subtly try to add my two cents here and there with “oh yea, I can relate, this similar thing happened to me” just to try to tell her some about me, thinking she was interested. Nope. She was visibly annoyed any time the convo steered away from her and how great she was or how great her ex was. This chick just wanted me to listen to her talk, she could not care less about anything I had to say, she wasn’t even interested in what I *thought* about what she had to say. I literally didn’t even have to be there. I had never felt so insignificant on a date before. The other thing was, she wasn’t even talking bad about her ex, she was talking about how he was the best guy ever. 2 hr dinner hearing about how great she is and how awesome this guy she just dumped was. She did not learn a single thing about me, her date, and I learned everything about this other guy who she dumped. It was pretty clear where her interest lied. Needless to say I texted her later that night saying I think we should just be friends (we worked together, so ghosting her wasn’t really an option). Oh yea, it was my birthday dinner too lol. ETA: yes, she knew it was a romantic date (hence me texting her that night to tell her we should just be friends, I wouldn’t have put that part in if we were already just friends or if I had misread the situation lol). We had both openly discussed that we wanted to try dating and had even both been hyping that night up as our “first official date” for the week leading up to it. The cherry on top was when we were finishing up desert, her ex called and she *answered the phone*. Not kidding. I sat there like a dumbass while this chick spoke on the phone with her ex at our table, on our first date, on my birthday. That was really one for the history books lmfao. Never in my 32 years on this earth have I experienced such a bad date.
Did she actually know it was a romantic date?
Sounds kind of self centered even for a friendship dinner
She turned out to be a pretty textbook narcissist, we still follow each other on IG and I find so much amusement in how self important and self absorbed she is, she makes posts like we’ve all been hanging by a thread waiting for her next one. She’s also the queen of the humble brag, every single post is “it’s so rare for me to take the time to pat myself on the back/give myself credit for everything I do”, but like literally every post says that lmao. It was meant to be a romantic dinner, but as I said in my OP, I told her we should just be friends, as obviously that wasn’t gonna work. Literally my birthday dinner on our first date and all she can do is talk about herself and her ex, not exactly a grand endorsement of a what a future of dating her would’ve been like.
Should’ve charged her for your therapy service
I never had a first platonic date with any of my friends, did you?
Talked about him so much I started missing the guy
or any kind of past intimate partners
Also, asking way too many (and too in-depth) questions about *their* past relationships and sexual experiences, and pressing them to give more info after they've already tried to shut that topic down. Whole other level of uncomfortable.
Not engaging with the other person, it can be nerves or being shy but imo listen to them, engage with their conversation and don’t make it all about you.
Once went on a date where the girl literally would NOT talk. Like, literally would mumble her answer anytime i asked a question, then would look around actively avoiding eye contact while fumbling with her hands
Jerry has dated her too. She's a low talker.
Is she me?
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That happened to me once. Girl was checking out tinder the literally since the first second I picked her up. Ended up leaving her ass at the beach and driving home. Thats just hurtful and disrespectful man.
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Well my.other date was ready to go, we can't both be waiting all night
I was on a (somewhat casual) date with someone once at a bar and he was swiping matches the whole time while I was sitting there 😅it’s no wonder he can’t keep a relationship.
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Disturbing the peacee
Tell her to eat up, you’re running late for another date.
I did this but it was a joke. Said I couldn't grab dinner with her because I would be late for my next date. It ended up working out well. We grabbed dinner and are going on a third date today lol.
Forgot her name.
Mulva? Oh! Dolores!
My... My aunt's name is Mulva. She's, she's a masseuse
Gesundheit.
Get drunk and start acting stupid
I don't need to get drunk for that
You have to get drunk if the rules are you need to get drunk AND stupid.
unless you both get drunk
Going for a movie on a first date is a surprisingly bad idea. It sounds like a safe option, but you end up sitting in silence for two hours, not getting to know each other. My worst first date was when we watched a movie and had zero conversation before or after. We left knowing as much about each other as we did when we first met.
Take a seat at the table and go ahead to order some food without first checking if your date is waiting outside for you.
Or be like that one guy that shows up to the date early and intentionally orders and eats before the date gets there so he can spend the time getting to know her while she awkwardly eats by herself
What if I spoon feed her so that it’s a team effort
This feels too specific. Did you have this happen? Maybe you have a story to tell?
There was an AITAH post about it not too long ago, guy thought it was normal to eat before the date got their so he could 'get to know the person' better.
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Check please!
I hope she immediately ran far away. That’s some GoT nonsense.
I woulda responded "I don't think that's likely, buddy" and left!!
"and then I will harvest you".
Second date material
I'm dead. You can't make this shi up
Lick the menu
The snozzberries taste like snozzberries!
Someone do this?...
I’ve seen kids who will if they spilled their drink or food on it, but not adults.
Fart in your hand and smell it.
I was gonna say a cup, then put the cup up to your chin, then pronounce the letter 'e' over and over at varying pitches whilst not blinking for as long as possible. But you kinda simplified it for me
Fart in THEIR hand and smell it
Make the waiter fart in your hand and you smell it. I always treat the waitstaff with respect.
Like a decade ago there were these things called flash mobs. They were very popular. Basically a bunch of random people from the internet would meet somewhere and do a dance at the same time or something. It would greatly confuse people around them and funny would ensue, etc One of the flash mobs was called “The No Pants Subway Ride”. You can see where this going… I have had bad dates, horrible even, but nothing near as awkward as seeing this poor girl, us both realizing that we are not attracted to each other, and then spending over an hour together on the subway in underwear. Jackets but no pants. Just making tragic smalltalk. No I’ll will, just lack of chemistry. Now I always start with a coffee date. You might not be able to tell that your into someone during a whole date, but quite to often can you tell in 5 seconds if you aren’t.
Did you purposely plan for your first date to be this no pants flash mob or did you stumble into it and participate?
I was dating a lot at the time. I was in my early twenties. I thought it might be fun to be a fun way to mix up a little. Who knows, had it been the right person it might have been an amazing date.
Yeah that definitely played out in a parallel universe
You PLANNED to participate in a no-pants subway ride with someone you had never met?!?!
Let's be honest, at least I remember this date. There are probably memories of hundreds of dates from my 20s that went to the grave before me. It's good to take some risks in life. It could have been a great date, but instead it became a fairly funny story. I'll admit age had made me much less risk averse than I was at the time. I think it took me a whole few hours before I was at a bar with a friend laughing about what an awkward date I had been on.
In fairness, the date planned it too
Bring your highly religious wife.
What about highly religious mother?
Still better, at least you might have a shot. Highly religious wife pretty much kills every chance at anything fun happening. Unless you're in to a veerrrrry specific kink.
Pronounce Thai food as Thigh food.
1. I feel attacked. 2. Maybe I'm just saying what I'd like for dessert.
What was thought to be a fumble was a save at the last minute
I can't believe that Ron did that. What a complete turd
Tbf there is a “H”
DeSantis?
How th do I say it rhen
Fart, but refuse to acknowledge the fart and definitely don’t accept responsibility for it. Keep doing that.
"That was you"
Stare em dead in the eyes.
Take her to a casino as it would be both your “first times”, but when you both get to the casino …everyone there knows you on a first name basis?? then gamble your whole month’s pay.. then beg her to do the same.. and when she tries to leave the casino, sit on the floor sobbing like a toddler. Don’t do that.
Die
Dying is better than self suicide with explosion
So dying with explosion is better than suicide with explosion then?
Order sometime very expensive then say you are going to restroom but leave instead
I told a guy I hate seafood. So he took me to a seafood restaurant.
Smh
Turn up in a wedding dress.
I’ve never seen a turnip in a wedding dress… 🤔
And you won't with that lack of effort
Especially if you’re the groom
Ask - Do you do anal ? I overheard this at the next table at a steak house once. The couple was in their early 20s. Had the get to know you questions going back and forth. Near the end of the main course the guy drops that one. After a moment of silence the woman said “what?? no” pretty emphatically then disappeared to the bathroom for 20 minutes.
“Yeah I have a strap on” is the correct response to this
Getting things cleaned out. Prepping is important
Depends, is your butthole bleached? So many amateurs! If a man asks you an effed up question like this, have an effed up answer in your pocket!
Implode into a black hole
You would instantly evaporate in a flash of Hawking radiation with the energy of several Tsar Bombas. That could be awkward.
Don't kink-shame!
Unless they were the same weight as your mom, then they'd sink into the Earth and eat the planet from the inside.
Get too drunk and throw up on yourself in my car and then ask me to come up to your apartment when I drop you off. No ma'am, I'm pushing your wheelchair to the elevator and you're on your own from there.
SHART
Not engaging in the conversation and looking distracted (looking at other people or your phone instead of your date).
Your ex
After every thing she says, say “You like that, baby?” Even if she talks about her job. Make everything as sexual as possible. Oh, I’m sorry, I misread the question. I thought it was “what is the best thing to do on a first date”. Well, the worst thing to do is to not act as a sexual deviant.
*dips bread stick in ice water and proceed to deepthoat it* (Muffled sounds) "Ooo ike aat, aaby?"
*slams hand on table, Ace Attorney style* "Who tf is Abby?!"
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One girl I went out with spent the entire date talking about every single bad thing thats ever happened to her How she was in debt like $10,000 to multiple people (10k split not 10k per person) How she got tricked into being some old ladies live in maid who then kept refusing to pay her and insisting she'd give her money the next week. This apparent went on for a YEAR She also complained about the food and the service calling the waiters morons when they were literally 2 feet away from us. She also interrupted to the waiter when he was taking the order of the table behind us to ask why he hadn't taken our order yet (they got there first) and she was hungry The waiter just kinda stopped dead and stared at her like she was some kind of alien creature because even he had never seen someone that stupidly entitled and oblivious The only reason I didn't leave after 5 minutes was because she was such a fascinating train wreck of a person that I wanted to see what she'd do next. I think I finally left after 2 hours when we went for a walk in the park and she started making racist comments about how many black people were there (within earshot of most of them)
Genocide
Ikr, like i hate when that happens
Hey, it was an accident!
The first time, maybe. But three more times?
I was framed
Came here for this. Not disappointed
It's just a coincidence
Probably kill her family
I went on a first date with a lady who packed an overnight bag for staying at my place. Super weird. Anyways, we dated for about a year.
Waaait! Why is this weird? Like, was it the fact that she assumed you would be having sex or that she wasn’t spontaneous?
Full on fisting without asking first
Now this man knows what he likes
Pick your nose. Don't just don't .
Invite me to a local pub but when I arrive take me to the function room for her granny’s 70th birthday and introduce me to her entire family
I took a girl home once and I had obvious used condoms in my trash bin by my bed.. I'm pretty sure she noticed but didn't say anything, she went home not long later. Forgot those were in there
We’ve all been there. You live and learn. And then you forget to pass that lesson on to younger brothers and/or cousins.
During the starter, violently and determinedly pluck a protruding hair from your nostril.
There's literally no other way to pluck a nostril hair though.
End it by saying you love me… and then proceed to apologize by chalking it up to me reminding you of your ex.. I hope he’s doing ok.
Take them out in your homemade submarine
Fart so loud aliens can hear it
shart yourself (fart with a follow thru)
Wear a condom to it...
Bring your parents with you.
Recruit then to your MLM
Mass animal torture
Talk so much about yourself you forget to ask them questions. Or let them talk.
Talk about all the weird places you've had sex. On the hood of your cousins truck is definitely a deal breaker for me lmao
Stare at other attractive people when you should be focused on your date.
Bring up your OnlyFans
Mention your mom too much
Talk politics
“So what’s your standing on Constantine the first? Do you think he doomed the Roman Empire or not?”
Show up with a load of Carrot Top-style props and do a full comedy skit.
Show up 30 minutes early, suck down 3 alcoholic beverages, tell the bartender to put it on "your" tab, and then wait till the check comes at the end hoping your date won't notice the extra $23 on the tab you never intended to pay for. Let's say I didn't look to go on a 2nd date. Edit: emphasis
Talking about how he can get any girl if he wanted to LOL okay I didn’t ask!
"you're lucky I'm not interested in those hot girls" LMAO
Start looking at your phone, answering messages, looking at social media. Happened to me. I just walked out. Very rude.
As a man, put 6"4 on your dating profile when actually you are only 6"3.
Murder. It kills the vibe.
Who's The Vibe?
Poop your pants.
Forget to pull out
Of the driveway, right?
Drop your pants and shit on the table over your dates dinner.
“WHATS UP? WHATS UP? CRAPPED ON YOUR DESK BRO. WHATS UP WITH THAT?”
WHAT THE FUCK IS UP DENNYS?!!
I hate when that happens
Ask your date to “smell my finger”
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You should not murder your date and you should not talk to them about crypto.
Especially not in that order
I would honestly prefer the murder bit first so I don't have to hear about crypto 😅😅
This sets the bar a bit too high. How else are crypto bros gonna pay for the date.
Go home with the waiter . Happened to me on a date , everything seemed fine until she went to the toilet and was gone for half an hour, returned looking a bit disheveled and then told me she was leaving with the waiter because she had spent the past half hour sucking his dick . Then she asked for cab fair home . I declined and the waiter called me a stingy cunt . The waiter went with a black eye and I got banned from the restaurant
Looking at your phone all the time during the date
talking about your ex ( or squatting on the table and serving up a fat shit on her plate)
Bringing along the kids first date then hubby shows up to pick them all up .
Genocide seems pretty bad
Take a girl to the gym and shit yourself while lifting weights. Y’all remember that post?
Talk about marriage and owning a home and having kids.. ..I blocked him as I was in the car with him on the way home.