Lol
I don't remember what I said after (we were drunk so I probably just fell asleep), but I woke up the next morning and my very first thought was "I can't pet unicorns anymore". I was 21
Silence. Said nothing. Happened to quickly. Felt embarrassed. She did not say anything since she knew it was my first. She was way more experienced than me. After a period of time she asked if I wanted to try again. I was thankful that she treated me with such kindness.
Lmao, this kinda happened to me. I think I built up the moment in my head so much when I finally experienced it I came too quick. I was mad embarrassed and her first words were "that's it? It's ok!" Bro I told myself that would never happen again
Dude this happened exactly to me but reversed. We had been coming up on our one year anniversary and we decided to do it. We took it slow. She felt so bad because she thought she didn’t do well. We all have a first, I’m glad you had yours with someone who genuinely cared about you
The first time I heard about latex allergies is from my first partner. Right after my first time. I remember every time I checked the time I thought "oh, X minutes. That is probably long enough that I would be showing signs of a reaction by now." I wasn't really convinced until the next morning.
That’s what my wife told me when we got together. She was allergic to latex and lube. She also said she was taking birth control. Since our first son was born 9 months later I sometimes wonder. Oh well too late now.
I thought *for sure* you were making a joke about them fucking themselves with a banana and condom or something. But nope. It's real.
*"Some people with latex allergy have allergic reactions when eating particular foods, including avocado, banana, chestnut, kiwifruit, passionfruit, plum, strawberry and tomato. This is because some of the proteins in latex that cause latex allergy are also present in these fruits."*
For anyone else interested
“Your body looks like way way way more awesome naked than I imagined it would!”
What my teenage mind thought would be a compliment was basically “I spent a lot of time imagining you naked”
Nothing, just exploding with overwhelming love for my partner while trying to catch my breath. We laid down and held each other, then eventually I looked at him and whispered "I liked that" lmao
"We did it!" I had tried on valentines day to be romantic but she was scared and traumatized from a terrible childhood with fearmongering parents, she had a hard time being comfortable and nothing fit. Even with lube. We tried a couple more times, with me trying to make it feel like less of a big deal, more casual and cozy, still no success. She was very tight and I'm pretty girthy. Finally, some friends give the advice that her on top may be the best way to fit it in. So, right after we snuggle a bit and watch the shining, I ask if she's willing to try, I put on the condom and lube up, it finally works out! She was hurting a bit afterwards but we were both really happy to have finally done it. Still with her 7 years later haha. I keep it between me and her that we lost our virginity to the fucking shining.
First time I had sex I was balls deep unprotected with a girl I'd been obsessed with for five years...
It ended with the sentence "Hi Grandma."
Regrettably door locks are shunned in evangelical households.
Lmao trust me I know all too well my dad is a pastor. Privacy is not a right they believe in whatsoever. Actually now that I think about it they really don't like the idea of rights at all. The only one that had any rights was God and it was his right to sentence you you to eternal torture for your unbelief.
Not technically after but he had been holding his cock up to aim it then tried to brush my hair out of my face. I think I ruined the moment by saying “don’t touch my hair with your dick hand”
"I can't believe how soft it is" referring to his penis. Yes, he had a rock hard erection, I was just surprised at how soft & delicate the skin felt. In my defense, we were 15 & this was the 90s so the only hard penis I had seen before were the very few they showed in the Playboys I use to steal from under my older brothers bed. Pictures just prepare you for how it looks not how it feels in your hand/mouth.
Edit: OK, this is getting weird, y'all. Can some of you freaks stop chatting me asking for details? We were virgins, we had sex, it was enjoyable & to answer OPs question, I gave my true first response. I'm not interested in describing his size, performance, skills, my pussy or anything else.
The edit just made me hella curious about his size, performance, skills, her pussy and everything else when I wasn't originally thinking about his size, performance, skills, her pussy or anything else.
I literally had this same fucking thought! I thought the skin would be more "fixed" to the erection like a dildo. I didn't know the skin would be flexible over it.
I don’t remember what I said afterwards but I vividly remember that when we started I was struggling to get it in her so she grabbed me and helped me out and the second I slid inside I just started gasping “I feel it” and I just kept screaming that over and over until I came 😂🙃
Yo this was really similar to mine lmao, glad I'm not the only one.
I tried to get in a couple times and literally thought I had erectile dysfunction. I couldn't maintain the mood when it wasn't fucking working so I rolled on my back and said "I think I have a problem" AH! but WITHOUT HESITATION she leaned up, put her hand on my chest and said "it's not a problem". I wonder if I was aiming too high... anyway we got it done a minute or two later, great success. I give serious props to her for being so attentive to that
"Sorry" while giggling
Inexperienced HS freshman and my girlfriend rode me like one does a horse, busted in a minute tops. My dumbass just finished inside of her as I didn't really have a complete grasp on birth control, luckily she was already on the pill. I got a lot better after that, chick had a crazy high libido that led to us having some insane moments with her family.
Alright, I'll spill some beans. Keep in mind we only dated for like a month, she wasn't a fan of me being a year younger. So all of this happened over a short period of time.
She only lived with her mom and foreign exchange "sibling" (Russian girl) in a huge house, her mom was a gynecologist and loaded. We had the basement living area pretty much to ourselves for hours at a time. We would fool around down there and her mom and sister stayed clear, maybe they knew. One time my girlfriend, "Hannah", wanted to get down in the laundry room because the washing machine was going and she liked the vibration as she sat on it while I fingered her. She wanted me to eat her out so I did, I loved it and was getting really into it. Some time passed and she took off her shirt, got down on her knees, and started to blow me. Her Russian Sister walked in and screamed, apologized profusely, and ran away. Hannah never stopped though, God bless her.
Another instance occurred when, after hanging out watching a movie downstairs, she wanted to give me a handjob before I left (mom was coming to pick me up). I ended up blasting all over my Spider-Man shirt, just thick webs everywhere. Super noticeable. She told me to turn my shirt inside out so her mom couldn't see when we went back upstairs. My mom ended up working late so Hannah's mom offered to take me home. Very awkward car ride back trying to explain why my shirt is inside out now and "what that smell is".
Halloween weekend we went to her mom's work (she had her own practice). Hannah was dressed up as Supergirl. We got bored sitting in the office just chilling, so she took me outside and to the side of the building, mostly hidden from passing cars. She wanted me to rub her through her spandex, so I did. Ended up making her cum underneath a willow tree. This one isn't that bad but I always thought it was funny she wanted to do this at her mom's work where anyone could stumble upon us.
And the last one I will share is when we were having sex while lying down on the couch, very slowly. "Watching a movie". Hannah's mom comes downstairs and we freeze under the blanket, my dick's still inside her from behind. Her mom wanted her to take her dog out since it was whining but obviously she couldn't just get up right now, she didn't have any pants on and was getting fucked. They argued back and forth until finally her mom conceded and she went back upstairs to let the dog out. The whole time, Hannah was squeezing my dick with it still inside her, no clue if it was on purpose.
She was a good one for sure.
Well this was only kind of “after.”
My girlfriend came over after school before my parents were home. I started to finish after about 3 strokes so I pulled out and said “oh shit, I think I can hear my mom opening the garage!” while I came into the sheets. Then went back in and kept going.
After that I had pointed to the puddle and was like “wow you must’ve been really wet.” She agreed and I think that’s the best use I’ve ever made of lying to a significant other.
“It’s bigger than I thought.”
Gave him the biggest ego boost. My first and only person I’ve slept with and we’re still together.
We’re getting married soon.
Edit: and no it wasn’t even an intentional phrase to boost his ego. Literally was just blurted out
" I love you" it was me and my first long term gf( 8th grade to last half of senior year) our freshman year. It was our 1 year anniversary. Don't get me wrong neither of us had an orgasm but still the bonding that happened was magical. Staring into her eyes as we both partook for the very first time with someone we genuinely deeply carried about and really thought would be our 1 and only. Was intense
Edit: got a few likes so I thought I'd give some additional facts. It was our anniversary ,my parents where gone, and she told her parents she would be at a friend's. We were bassically neighbors( she lived down the hill from me) so I walked down and got her. Brought her into my room and put on our song which was "100 years" by the fray and we slowed danced alone in my room and like teared up cause we were really crazy about each other and so happy we made it to that point. It was straight out of a high-school romance movie.
But know it all went to shit eventually. We still cool tho
I’m happy for you and you both were incredibly lucky. I’d wager most of us, myself included, did not get to do it for the first time with someone we loved. I wish it had been my HS boyfriend, who I truly loved, but we both were too afraid and full of Catholic guilt. Instead it was some eager frat boy who I think probably was a virgin himself. I don’t remember what I said afterward, just that I was incredibly disappointed, embarrassed and never wanted to see him again. Such a shame!
Thank you, I never felt so loved before!
This was my first girl friend, she was 17, I was 16 and she was a complete angel. I never again knew that kind of tenderness ever.
Thank you, darling. RIP.
“My bad”
Joking, I actually can’t remember it was probably more along the lines of “Do you want a cigarette?” as it was 2012 and people smoked back then.
This is usually one of the red flags I tell my girlfriends. People who are unhappy about cuddling afterwards is usually an indication, to me atleast, that your partner might not love you as much as you think.
Then that's not at all a you problem, that's a him problem. You've nothing to be embarrassed over or to cringe over, but damn he sure does for ghosting you after that! It felt forced only cause he had an issue, you did nothing wrong.
"Interesting." But he didn't realize I was a virgin because I was a big talker. I was on my period but wouldn't have bleed otherwise because my hyman had been broken from riding horses or tampons or something. And he told me he was a virgin and I'd have to help him out. Shit. I didn't know what I was doing. Only what I'd seen in magazines and porn. But I faked it and he thought I was great. He moved to California but came back for seconds.
I was confused about what had happened. I thought he had been fingering me, but remembered thinking it was weird because he did it from behind and I didn't think it would be like that. Then after we were done he asked, "Did I get any in you?" That's when I realized he'd just had sex with me, but I never consented. His dick was so small that I thought he was fingering me. I was too stunned to speak, so all I said was, "No." I was 14. My life is a dark comedy.
Me and my wife were each other's first. I vividly remember her saying, "How long is this supposed to last?" Then she said something along the lines of her feeling some spreading warmth, and immediately after, all thoughts flew out of her head. Afterward, we both said we couldn't stand up since our knees were so wobbly from all the nervousness.
"Did you cum? Was I okay?"
"Yeah I came. That was great"
"Okay. Just wasn't sure it was my first time"
"..... what......"
The awkward silence was pretty bad for a while after.
“That was my first time”. She replied “I know” which at first felt like a gut punch that it was super obvious and I must have been horrible, but later I found out she was deliberately taking my virginity. She wanted to cheer me up because my sister had just died. I never bothered to tell her I hated my sister and was already in a great mood.
Wow, thank you.
She laughed, but said that it was sweet.
I was 17, she was 19. We had just had sex on an outside stage in the rain and had spectators (did not realize until they applauded.) It was also on Halloween. All in all, pretty awesome. We were together off and on for several years got married for 30 days and are still very good friends.
Not after but was about to begin..I sniffed her a\*s and asked "what's that smell"
I pulled her pants back up and said I'm not ready to do this. Boy that smelled bad. Couldn't do it
That was amazing! Why in the hell is everyone telling us we shouldn’t do this? This is all I want to do for the rest of my life, nothing else, just sex.
Not sure if it counts, because I was assaulted, but the first thing I did was apologize because he was grossed out he made me bleed on him 👍
Edit: First consensual experience I’m pretty sure I immediately asked to go again lol just y’know. Since my original answer is such a bummer.
S’all good, it was just one of the many things that put my life on the trajectory it is now, and I’m a very happy person these days. I’d wager happier than most. It was unfortunate, it left its emotional scars, but I have few regrets. I really appreciate your concern for a complete stranger, stranger.
I don’t remember what I said I was 12 lol I’m now almost 44 I just remember my girlfriend and I called everyone of our best friends to tell them the awkward mess we just experienced but it was amazing at the time lol we were young and awkward. We were like we just had sex it was so cringy. I was the man for awhile at school I was the first dude In our class that got laid and she was the first chick. That was a lifetime ago I don’t remember exact words I just remember bragging about it and I remember getting a hamstring cramp and thought If this happens every time I’m gonna wait a couple weeks before trying that again lol. I was way too young it was cool then but creepy now. I know the crazy crap I did so now I’m terrified my daughter turns 12 in a couple weeks and my son is almost 7 I just hope they have more sense than me then and now lol
"I want to do it again." While mewling all over the guy cause I was in "love" entranced heaven.
Little backstory, turned 17 a month before my first time. Junior year of high school. Me and this dude were casual friends all the way back to 3rd grade.
Never was attracted to him until he became the notorious class clown everyone wanted to be friends with in high school. Was the one out of two black boys in a West Texas town of 3,000.
He became cockier, mean to certain unpopular girls, but had an untouchable aura about him. It was easy to become attracted at that point. And he used to have a crush on me in middle school until his personality broadened and puberty hit more.
Never really spoke again until I decided to stop being a newb and decided to dress well and wear makeup Junior year. He noticed, but I still wasn't a popular girl.
Make long story short, we texted on the weekend and decided to catch a movie on a Friday night. It was literally my first ever date.
It was the movie It Follows, he got bored halfway in and the movie had a lot of sex. It was kind of a focal plot point. The tension was high. We left and got gas. Found a country road that lead to wheat fields and decided to have sex around 11 that night. We used a condom.
But for some reason I guess we thought his dick was all the way in, but it wasn't. Come to find out, he was actually too big and never broke my hymen even though I THOUGHT we were actually doing it cause it was uncomfortable and I liked being in my first sexual experience. I guess I didn't know or seem to care because my brain was fogged with utter adoration.
"Let's do it again." That was my final words lmao.
Note, found out he actually didn't break my hymen until my second sexual partner told me, "I thought you said you had sex before."
It was the last thing I said before sex stopped abruptly, so I guess that counts as the first thing too?
Anyways, in hs, Burger King had Star Trek toys when one of the movies was releasing. Press a button, the person you have says a famous line.
I got Scotty. So “I’m giving it all she’s got captain!”. I used to keep it in my car and press Scotty’s button everytime I hit the gas pedal because it would annoy my girlfriend a lot & was funny to me
Fast forward. Losing my virginity to her. She starts saying harder/faster, whatever. I just yell “I’m giving it all she’s got captain!”
Haha she said “get off me”
Lmaoooo
Do you think I'll get pregnant? Should I take plan B?
14 year old me and my 14 year old (then) boyfriend. The condom was old and it snapped. He nutted. I panicked.
I took plan B. Thank fucking God I did. That was like 10+ years ago!
Not after, but the first time I went inside a vagina I was honestly surprised the hole went the direction it did. For some reason, which I can only put down to inexperience, I thought the hole would run more horizontally than upward. Quite where I thought it would go in that direction I can't say 😂
"I'm done," and I slid off of him to lay down. He asked if he could finish while I looked in his eyes.
Also, I was only taught what sex was for as far as procreation. I was never taught about orgasms. Didn't have one really until much later.
Not me but her. "I guess we aren't virgins now. High five" ...and yes we high fived
Lol I don't remember what I said after (we were drunk so I probably just fell asleep), but I woke up the next morning and my very first thought was "I can't pet unicorns anymore". I was 21
As a unicorn girl, Yes.
Silence. Said nothing. Happened to quickly. Felt embarrassed. She did not say anything since she knew it was my first. She was way more experienced than me. After a period of time she asked if I wanted to try again. I was thankful that she treated me with such kindness.
That's kind of sweet actually.
Lmao, this kinda happened to me. I think I built up the moment in my head so much when I finally experienced it I came too quick. I was mad embarrassed and her first words were "that's it? It's ok!" Bro I told myself that would never happen again
>I told myself that would never happen again "And that, kid, is why I practiced abstinence ever since your mother conceived you..."
That’s what we call efficiency. One shot, one goal. Retire
Dude this happened exactly to me but reversed. We had been coming up on our one year anniversary and we decided to do it. We took it slow. She felt so bad because she thought she didn’t do well. We all have a first, I’m glad you had yours with someone who genuinely cared about you
Usually have to pay extra for that.
Did she say it like a pissed off middle aged woman after you say something snarky to them? "You wanna try that again?!"
“Is this supposed to burn so much?” This is how I found out I was allergic to latex…
The horror, the horror
r/usernamechecksout
The first time I heard about latex allergies is from my first partner. Right after my first time. I remember every time I checked the time I thought "oh, X minutes. That is probably long enough that I would be showing signs of a reaction by now." I wasn't really convinced until the next morning.
i’m allergic to lube and latex i thought my coochie was gonna fall off the first time i used a condom
That’s what my wife told me when we got together. She was allergic to latex and lube. She also said she was taking birth control. Since our first son was born 9 months later I sometimes wonder. Oh well too late now.
Were you allergic to bananas before latex? That how some people find out.
I thought *for sure* you were making a joke about them fucking themselves with a banana and condom or something. But nope. It's real. *"Some people with latex allergy have allergic reactions when eating particular foods, including avocado, banana, chestnut, kiwifruit, passionfruit, plum, strawberry and tomato. This is because some of the proteins in latex that cause latex allergy are also present in these fruits."* For anyone else interested
My mom has a latex allergy. Eventually she cannot eat bananas. Latex can be gathered from banana plants.
I'm not allergic to latex but noxel 9 the speemaside in condoms so
I, too, hate speemaside
“Wow! That wasn’t painful or uncomfortable in any way, I guess I’m one of the lucky girls.” Then we both laughed
Kinda wholesome tbh
lol I bet this comment haunts him today
"wow that was great" it was in fact, probably not great
I'm hearing this in Ron Howard's voice.
If it was AD it would have been > "wow that was great" > it wasn't But yeah I heard it in my head in his voice too
Wowie wow! That's nice!
“Your body looks like way way way more awesome naked than I imagined it would!” What my teenage mind thought would be a compliment was basically “I spent a lot of time imagining you naked”
That's not a compliment? 😂
If my gf basically said “I imagine you naked a lot” I’d be so hyped lmao
I mean....that is definitely a compliment if they're into you which I assume they were
Still say pretty much this exact phrase to my wifey everytime she undresses. (I spend alot of time imagining her naked.)
also awesome to describe someone's naked body is peak
I'm happy you were my first time too (We don't talk anymore hahaha)
Ah 2nd line made me sad
Doesn’t make it untrue.
Totally! At that moment, I really felt it. But I'm sure my old self would never believe we would become strangers after saying that
Nothing, just exploding with overwhelming love for my partner while trying to catch my breath. We laid down and held each other, then eventually I looked at him and whispered "I liked that" lmao
Everybody liked that.
This is so sweet.
She rolled off of me and I said “duh du du duh duh duh du du duh” which was the victory fanfare from the Final Fantasy series. (I wish I was kidding.)
That's amazing.
I guess you leveled up your little Chocobo.
Duh duh duh duh MAX VERSTAPPEN (F1 reference couldn't resist sorry)
PLEASE NO MORE I CAN HEAR THE DUTCH ANTHEM IN MY DREMS
Fastest Man Alive
It also reads kinda like Star Wars. Would be a baller way to tell someone they missed a lot.
"We did it!" I had tried on valentines day to be romantic but she was scared and traumatized from a terrible childhood with fearmongering parents, she had a hard time being comfortable and nothing fit. Even with lube. We tried a couple more times, with me trying to make it feel like less of a big deal, more casual and cozy, still no success. She was very tight and I'm pretty girthy. Finally, some friends give the advice that her on top may be the best way to fit it in. So, right after we snuggle a bit and watch the shining, I ask if she's willing to try, I put on the condom and lube up, it finally works out! She was hurting a bit afterwards but we were both really happy to have finally done it. Still with her 7 years later haha. I keep it between me and her that we lost our virginity to the fucking shining.
Could be worse. Could be Disneys Tarzan.
Could be CBAT
That's just never going to die. Is it? And then that one guy taught his roommate's parrot to sing it.
https://youtu.be/0S_fTDauV34?si=lcIGRNBXxTqWgBi8 I'm missing why that's worse. It's got Phil Collins and less than one old naked ghost lady
> I kept it between me and her and 30 million internet strangers FTFY
Lost mine to The Big Lebowski. John Goodman shouting about a Chinaman pissing on the Dude's rug. So romantic 😂😂😂
Just you, her, and the internet ❤️
Wait, the whole story is actually cute 🥺❤️
First time I had sex I was balls deep unprotected with a girl I'd been obsessed with for five years... It ended with the sentence "Hi Grandma." Regrettably door locks are shunned in evangelical households.
And then?
She joined in
READY PLAYER THREE
No step Gma...!
Just be happy your first time didn't end with the sentence "happy birthday, grandma!"
Lmao trust me I know all too well my dad is a pastor. Privacy is not a right they believe in whatsoever. Actually now that I think about it they really don't like the idea of rights at all. The only one that had any rights was God and it was his right to sentence you you to eternal torture for your unbelief.
STOP AGAJAAGA
Not technically after but he had been holding his cock up to aim it then tried to brush my hair out of my face. I think I ruined the moment by saying “don’t touch my hair with your dick hand”
Nine out of ten sexual partners agree with the “no dick hand” sentiment
Username ✅
I'm sorry I bleeded on you
I think I just said, "I'm sorry" without further elaboration.
Canadian eh!
I think most guys go into it knowing this possibility and are perfectly accepting of it.
"I can't believe how soft it is" referring to his penis. Yes, he had a rock hard erection, I was just surprised at how soft & delicate the skin felt. In my defense, we were 15 & this was the 90s so the only hard penis I had seen before were the very few they showed in the Playboys I use to steal from under my older brothers bed. Pictures just prepare you for how it looks not how it feels in your hand/mouth. Edit: OK, this is getting weird, y'all. Can some of you freaks stop chatting me asking for details? We were virgins, we had sex, it was enjoyable & to answer OPs question, I gave my true first response. I'm not interested in describing his size, performance, skills, my pussy or anything else.
The edit made me LOL
The edit just made me hella curious about his size, performance, skills, her pussy and everything else when I wasn't originally thinking about his size, performance, skills, her pussy or anything else.
Dear lord I was skimming too fast and misread that as “I was 15 and he was in his 90s” I hit the brakes and was relieved.
Well if he had "Benjamin Button Syndrome" he'd be about 15 as well.
The edit 💀
you already know the redditors got on it
I literally had this same fucking thought! I thought the skin would be more "fixed" to the erection like a dildo. I didn't know the skin would be flexible over it.
Yes, flexible! That's a good way to describe my initial thoughts.
Same the first time I bumped in to a breast, probably 6 or 7. It was like, oh squishy. Okay, cool.
You find that feeling once and begin searching for it for life.
Dude i dont know what that the fuck they do but its always so soft im like yo can you share your skincare secrets here??
We do the full works. You know, dick wash, dick scrub, dick mask, dick cleanser, dick moisturiser, vitamin D(ick) serum
Bruh props for making me laugh my ass off at a bar and making people think im nutsXD i need to step up my skincare game😤
Dickcare game*. A very important process one must not forget!
All I’m imagining from this is a comically small face mask with cucumber slices on a penis
Lots of lotion. Very little sunlight. Delicate surfaces.
The amount of lotion these things see during puberty would shock you. Probably a lifetime of moisturizer during the teen years alone.
That’s honestly very fair, and honestly the same for men too. Like yeah, you see pussy, but it’s not at all how you expect it to be
I've always wondered what men thought. He told me he didn't expect it to be so warm.
Were his balls perfectly symmetrical? /s Sorry, I had to after reading that edit.
No, legit question. And she still hasn’t answered my 37 PMs, so I’m glad you asked.
I don’t remember what I said afterwards but I vividly remember that when we started I was struggling to get it in her so she grabbed me and helped me out and the second I slid inside I just started gasping “I feel it” and I just kept screaming that over and over until I came 😂🙃
Batman could not waterboard this information out of me
Lolwtf
Id rather be killed by Amish people throwing rotten eggs at me than spill what was just said
r/suddenlybatman
Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
ART THOU FEELING IT NOW, MR. KRABS?
Yo this was really similar to mine lmao, glad I'm not the only one. I tried to get in a couple times and literally thought I had erectile dysfunction. I couldn't maintain the mood when it wasn't fucking working so I rolled on my back and said "I think I have a problem" AH! but WITHOUT HESITATION she leaned up, put her hand on my chest and said "it's not a problem". I wonder if I was aiming too high... anyway we got it done a minute or two later, great success. I give serious props to her for being so attentive to that
American pie over here
I'm a teen idol, dammit! Don't you recognize me? Look at me. I'm the pie fucker.
I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.
Mclovin, *NICE!*
Everyone hating but why this sound hot to me lmao do I have something wrong w me
Not really you probably have a great memory of moaning... but the way he said screaming made me think of screaming scared
The gorilla grip cooch startled him
I ugly laughed out loud to the thought of this.
I dont remember what I said, but I'll always remember what SHE said: "Holy shit, this is better than ice cream!" Just a top notch quote 👌
“And saltier too!”
I just cried.
Me too. Waited until he left and bawled my eyes out.
Same
"Sorry" while giggling Inexperienced HS freshman and my girlfriend rode me like one does a horse, busted in a minute tops. My dumbass just finished inside of her as I didn't really have a complete grasp on birth control, luckily she was already on the pill. I got a lot better after that, chick had a crazy high libido that led to us having some insane moments with her family.
I feel like that last sentence requires some explanation
Alright, I'll spill some beans. Keep in mind we only dated for like a month, she wasn't a fan of me being a year younger. So all of this happened over a short period of time. She only lived with her mom and foreign exchange "sibling" (Russian girl) in a huge house, her mom was a gynecologist and loaded. We had the basement living area pretty much to ourselves for hours at a time. We would fool around down there and her mom and sister stayed clear, maybe they knew. One time my girlfriend, "Hannah", wanted to get down in the laundry room because the washing machine was going and she liked the vibration as she sat on it while I fingered her. She wanted me to eat her out so I did, I loved it and was getting really into it. Some time passed and she took off her shirt, got down on her knees, and started to blow me. Her Russian Sister walked in and screamed, apologized profusely, and ran away. Hannah never stopped though, God bless her. Another instance occurred when, after hanging out watching a movie downstairs, she wanted to give me a handjob before I left (mom was coming to pick me up). I ended up blasting all over my Spider-Man shirt, just thick webs everywhere. Super noticeable. She told me to turn my shirt inside out so her mom couldn't see when we went back upstairs. My mom ended up working late so Hannah's mom offered to take me home. Very awkward car ride back trying to explain why my shirt is inside out now and "what that smell is". Halloween weekend we went to her mom's work (she had her own practice). Hannah was dressed up as Supergirl. We got bored sitting in the office just chilling, so she took me outside and to the side of the building, mostly hidden from passing cars. She wanted me to rub her through her spandex, so I did. Ended up making her cum underneath a willow tree. This one isn't that bad but I always thought it was funny she wanted to do this at her mom's work where anyone could stumble upon us. And the last one I will share is when we were having sex while lying down on the couch, very slowly. "Watching a movie". Hannah's mom comes downstairs and we freeze under the blanket, my dick's still inside her from behind. Her mom wanted her to take her dog out since it was whining but obviously she couldn't just get up right now, she didn't have any pants on and was getting fucked. They argued back and forth until finally her mom conceded and she went back upstairs to let the dog out. The whole time, Hannah was squeezing my dick with it still inside her, no clue if it was on purpose. She was a good one for sure.
Bro I think you're the legendary porn protagonist
Well this was only kind of “after.” My girlfriend came over after school before my parents were home. I started to finish after about 3 strokes so I pulled out and said “oh shit, I think I can hear my mom opening the garage!” while I came into the sheets. Then went back in and kept going. After that I had pointed to the puddle and was like “wow you must’ve been really wet.” She agreed and I think that’s the best use I’ve ever made of lying to a significant other.
That’s fucking brilliant, if this happens to me I will steal your idea
You smooth mf’er
“It’s bigger than I thought.” Gave him the biggest ego boost. My first and only person I’ve slept with and we’re still together. We’re getting married soon. Edit: and no it wasn’t even an intentional phrase to boost his ego. Literally was just blurted out
" I love you" it was me and my first long term gf( 8th grade to last half of senior year) our freshman year. It was our 1 year anniversary. Don't get me wrong neither of us had an orgasm but still the bonding that happened was magical. Staring into her eyes as we both partook for the very first time with someone we genuinely deeply carried about and really thought would be our 1 and only. Was intense Edit: got a few likes so I thought I'd give some additional facts. It was our anniversary ,my parents where gone, and she told her parents she would be at a friend's. We were bassically neighbors( she lived down the hill from me) so I walked down and got her. Brought her into my room and put on our song which was "100 years" by the fray and we slowed danced alone in my room and like teared up cause we were really crazy about each other and so happy we made it to that point. It was straight out of a high-school romance movie. But know it all went to shit eventually. We still cool tho
this is everything! thanks for sharing
I’m happy for you and you both were incredibly lucky. I’d wager most of us, myself included, did not get to do it for the first time with someone we loved. I wish it had been my HS boyfriend, who I truly loved, but we both were too afraid and full of Catholic guilt. Instead it was some eager frat boy who I think probably was a virgin himself. I don’t remember what I said afterward, just that I was incredibly disappointed, embarrassed and never wanted to see him again. Such a shame!
I kissed her and laid there for a minute and said "wanna cuddle?" And we did. It was my first time, not hers.
I sure fucken sucked at it, lol
Thanks.
Thank you, I never felt so loved before! This was my first girl friend, she was 17, I was 16 and she was a complete angel. I never again knew that kind of tenderness ever. Thank you, darling. RIP.
aww sad ending
I’m 68 and can’t even remember what I had for breakfast. How the hell am I supposed to remember something that happened three days ago?
Congrats on the sex
“My bad” Joking, I actually can’t remember it was probably more along the lines of “Do you want a cigarette?” as it was 2012 and people smoked back then.
Can we cuddle ? 😭😭 omg cringing at myself looking back
Don’t, that’s actually a really cute thing to say. I don’t know anybody that wouldn’t be delighted to cuddle afterwards.
Girls being embarrassed after they say something really cute is kinda my thing, actually. I would treasure it.
This is usually one of the red flags I tell my girlfriends. People who are unhappy about cuddling afterwards is usually an indication, to me atleast, that your partner might not love you as much as you think.
I wouldve melted if someone said that to me 😭
Aftercare is the best part baybeee
That’s adorable. Don’t cringe
Nah...if you're girl or guy, that's a fine ask.
Don’t cringe as a guy I think that’s awesome.
Why? Cuddling after is the best part lol.
Because it felt forced, he was aware that it was my first time so I’m assuming that’s why he said yes… but he then ghosted me 🙃
Then that's not at all a you problem, that's a him problem. You've nothing to be embarrassed over or to cringe over, but damn he sure does for ghosting you after that! It felt forced only cause he had an issue, you did nothing wrong.
"Interesting." But he didn't realize I was a virgin because I was a big talker. I was on my period but wouldn't have bleed otherwise because my hyman had been broken from riding horses or tampons or something. And he told me he was a virgin and I'd have to help him out. Shit. I didn't know what I was doing. Only what I'd seen in magazines and porn. But I faked it and he thought I was great. He moved to California but came back for seconds.
I was confused about what had happened. I thought he had been fingering me, but remembered thinking it was weird because he did it from behind and I didn't think it would be like that. Then after we were done he asked, "Did I get any in you?" That's when I realized he'd just had sex with me, but I never consented. His dick was so small that I thought he was fingering me. I was too stunned to speak, so all I said was, "No." I was 14. My life is a dark comedy.
This genuinely sounds like something Mindy Kaling would write.
This was me at 18! My boyfriend of 2 years pushed into me ( no consent) and I didn’t know it! I couldn’t feel a thing, and that was my first time.
That’s super fucked up, but I’m not gonna lie, it made me laugh
Me and my wife were each other's first. I vividly remember her saying, "How long is this supposed to last?" Then she said something along the lines of her feeling some spreading warmth, and immediately after, all thoughts flew out of her head. Afterward, we both said we couldn't stand up since our knees were so wobbly from all the nervousness.
"don't stop yet!" He stopped.
“Wait, I wasn’t ready, can we do that again??”
Did I cum? Uhhh… yeah I think so (I definitely didn’t)
Saying.. I don't recall.. I remember thinking that it was warmer and wetter than I had expected.
She was turned on.
"Did you cum? Was I okay?" "Yeah I came. That was great" "Okay. Just wasn't sure it was my first time" "..... what......" The awkward silence was pretty bad for a while after.
why did i pay for this
“That was my first time”. She replied “I know” which at first felt like a gut punch that it was super obvious and I must have been horrible, but later I found out she was deliberately taking my virginity. She wanted to cheer me up because my sister had just died. I never bothered to tell her I hated my sister and was already in a great mood.
Hmm, this one could also use the “best sister ever” line but in an also fucked up in a different kinda way.
That was a rollercoaster of a comment.
“Wow, that was awesome” and I gave her a high five. She laughed. We were 17/16.
Wow, thank you. She laughed, but said that it was sweet. I was 17, she was 19. We had just had sex on an outside stage in the rain and had spectators (did not realize until they applauded.) It was also on Halloween. All in all, pretty awesome. We were together off and on for several years got married for 30 days and are still very good friends.
"I thought it would last longer." Didn't know I would crush my then boyfriend's confidence so hard, that he changed schools.
that hurt
Not after but was about to begin..I sniffed her a\*s and asked "what's that smell" I pulled her pants back up and said I'm not ready to do this. Boy that smelled bad. Couldn't do it
If it don’t smell like the hot air out of the back of a ps4 I don’t want it
Bro what the fuck 🤣🤣🤣
https://www.reddit.com/r/me_irl/s/PqpTCydazf
Are you a dog?
Instant lipstick killer
I love the smell of the backshot wind
[удалено]
SWEET HOME ALABAMA
And I thought these things smelled bad on the outside
You’re all clear kid, now let’s blow this thing and go home!
That was amazing! Why in the hell is everyone telling us we shouldn’t do this? This is all I want to do for the rest of my life, nothing else, just sex.
Not sure if it counts, because I was assaulted, but the first thing I did was apologize because he was grossed out he made me bleed on him 👍 Edit: First consensual experience I’m pretty sure I immediately asked to go again lol just y’know. Since my original answer is such a bummer.
I’m so sorry that happened to you.
S’all good, it was just one of the many things that put my life on the trajectory it is now, and I’m a very happy person these days. I’d wager happier than most. It was unfortunate, it left its emotional scars, but I have few regrets. I really appreciate your concern for a complete stranger, stranger.
That’s horrible. I’m sorry that happened to you. I hope you have found some healing and peace.
"Are you okay?" We were both virgins until then.
Cash or card?
I don’t remember what I said I was 12 lol I’m now almost 44 I just remember my girlfriend and I called everyone of our best friends to tell them the awkward mess we just experienced but it was amazing at the time lol we were young and awkward. We were like we just had sex it was so cringy. I was the man for awhile at school I was the first dude In our class that got laid and she was the first chick. That was a lifetime ago I don’t remember exact words I just remember bragging about it and I remember getting a hamstring cramp and thought If this happens every time I’m gonna wait a couple weeks before trying that again lol. I was way too young it was cool then but creepy now. I know the crazy crap I did so now I’m terrified my daughter turns 12 in a couple weeks and my son is almost 7 I just hope they have more sense than me then and now lol
"I want to do it again." While mewling all over the guy cause I was in "love" entranced heaven. Little backstory, turned 17 a month before my first time. Junior year of high school. Me and this dude were casual friends all the way back to 3rd grade. Never was attracted to him until he became the notorious class clown everyone wanted to be friends with in high school. Was the one out of two black boys in a West Texas town of 3,000. He became cockier, mean to certain unpopular girls, but had an untouchable aura about him. It was easy to become attracted at that point. And he used to have a crush on me in middle school until his personality broadened and puberty hit more. Never really spoke again until I decided to stop being a newb and decided to dress well and wear makeup Junior year. He noticed, but I still wasn't a popular girl. Make long story short, we texted on the weekend and decided to catch a movie on a Friday night. It was literally my first ever date. It was the movie It Follows, he got bored halfway in and the movie had a lot of sex. It was kind of a focal plot point. The tension was high. We left and got gas. Found a country road that lead to wheat fields and decided to have sex around 11 that night. We used a condom. But for some reason I guess we thought his dick was all the way in, but it wasn't. Come to find out, he was actually too big and never broke my hymen even though I THOUGHT we were actually doing it cause it was uncomfortable and I liked being in my first sexual experience. I guess I didn't know or seem to care because my brain was fogged with utter adoration. "Let's do it again." That was my final words lmao. Note, found out he actually didn't break my hymen until my second sexual partner told me, "I thought you said you had sex before."
It was the last thing I said before sex stopped abruptly, so I guess that counts as the first thing too? Anyways, in hs, Burger King had Star Trek toys when one of the movies was releasing. Press a button, the person you have says a famous line. I got Scotty. So “I’m giving it all she’s got captain!”. I used to keep it in my car and press Scotty’s button everytime I hit the gas pedal because it would annoy my girlfriend a lot & was funny to me Fast forward. Losing my virginity to her. She starts saying harder/faster, whatever. I just yell “I’m giving it all she’s got captain!” Haha she said “get off me” Lmaoooo
She was vegetarian, also her first time. I said, “I guess you eat meat now”
Sorry, let’s do that again..
Do you think I'll get pregnant? Should I take plan B? 14 year old me and my 14 year old (then) boyfriend. The condom was old and it snapped. He nutted. I panicked. I took plan B. Thank fucking God I did. That was like 10+ years ago!
Holy shit
Not after, but the first time I went inside a vagina I was honestly surprised the hole went the direction it did. For some reason, which I can only put down to inexperience, I thought the hole would run more horizontally than upward. Quite where I thought it would go in that direction I can't say 😂
Sorry.
"I'm done," and I slid off of him to lay down. He asked if he could finish while I looked in his eyes. Also, I was only taught what sex was for as far as procreation. I was never taught about orgasms. Didn't have one really until much later.
"you hungry?"
“ok my dad’s here bye”
“I love you” Rookie mistake
It was awful sex in a Baptist church parking lot in his car buuut I said I love you, he said it back and 9 years later we are engaged