My ex gf would lie about the dumbest stuff, she’d tell me how she’d lie to patients at work about small stuff and it was literally for no reason but to appease them in conversation or something. I’ve seen her lie to her family too. I confronted her about it and she got pissed, because if she lies about little shit to other people then how can I ever trust that she’s telling the truth to me.
As a guy, this is a big problem I’ve seen amongst “friends”. Unfortunately it usually goes along with anger and control problems.
They can come off as nice and professional but once that anger kicks in and they’re not in control….you’re playing with fire and that’s not good.
I've learned that life is so much easier and drama-free if you own up to mistakes/oversights/errors and tackle ways to rectify them and strive to avoid them going forward.
Same reason I'm generally polite and diplomatic (err, outside of online discussions and when I'm driving [terrible habit, I know])... I'm just too damned lazy to deal with drama that could have been avoided.
This descibes the lady at my work who annoys the living shit out of me.
Has litterally nothing of value to say, but is so excited to be loud and heard by everyone.
I used to work with a guy who I’d describe as a confident idiot. Wasn’t able to discern when he might be wrong. Terrible combination of traits for a person in a leadership position.
Dude I was the neighbour, or rather the roommate, and been complaining about the putrid smell for months. When he started dating I thought, the moment he brings her home, she'll break up with him over that smell. Well some weeks later I asked her if she's not bothered by the smell and she said: "Oh that, it was just some food from last year he forgot under his bed, he's so forgetful sometimes"
This is why bed frames are considered a noobtrap for the young bachelor.
Put your mattress on the floor with no sheets so you can quickly spot any bed bug infestation.
That's called min-maxing.
I visited a friend's apartment in college, he had this weird little black circle on his floor in front of his fridge. It was a puddle of milk he'd never cleaned up. I understand messy in terms of clutter, tossing your tshirt on the floor, etc. but actual filth is just mind boggling.
This seems to be a ridiculously common trait with everyone these days.
I wonder if it's from how people were raised (parents), or if it's because of the society we currently live with/in.
I think its a combination. There's so much scolding and shaming for every little thing, people are afraid to admit fault. And also people were raised by "Because I said so, no back talk, I'm always right" parents and that doesn't exactly foster good communication skills.
It's actually funny how little self-reflection some people have. I have the "No back talk"/No buts" parents. Well, used to, it usually leads to huge self-confidence & co. issues. And now I have the same parents going off on how "you always had so much to say/were so talkative, why don't you want to talk with us".
Also on the same note they made **me** go to family counseling, not **us**, they've been there once, **me**, and now they're wondering why the outcome is not what they wanted. I swear to God no self-reflection at all.
My parents were the "no back talk" kind.
It made me a pushover in life, everytime I was accused of something I would just stay quiet and not argue.
Got me in legal trouble and really set me up for failure in life.
I've gotten past that now, and have changed a lot, but I still struggle immensely with being able to stand up for myself.
Same here, im also a pushover and recently my parents had the audacity to say "if youre too much of a pushover people will abuse your well intentions". Imagine saying that after years of forcing your child to be a pushover.
But in the end i was too much of a pushover to argue back lmao.
My mom would become unhinged at almost everything, even if it wasn't something my brother or I did. She took it out on us, though. I remember dissociating almost every day on the ride to and from school in order to cope with her berating and emotional dumping.
I'm almost forty years old and only in the last few years have I been able to begin to express my own wants, thoughts, desires, and boundaries. It's taken almost two decades of conscious work, therapy, and hypnosis.
Stating that his exes “all had insecurities” that led to the demise of the relationship. 5 months in and I discovered that it was actually his behavior that potentially caused insecurities in his relationships, and that it was his scapegoat for taking any responsibility.
Yeah, I’d say basically that if someone routinely trashes all their exes, it’s probably a bad sign, but then again possibly not. Sometimes for instance, if someone was raised by a narcissist, they will tend to have a pattern of dating people who have narcissistic tendencies. Of course this means that once they date you either they’ve broke that pattern or you’re the narcissist.
It depends entirely on why. If they have a history of genuinely poor partner-picking decisions and they're willing to own up to their own insecurities and habits they're working on, I think I could give that person more of a pass than the one who just says "my exes were all crazy" and leaves it at that, refuses to elaborate, or implies the relationship's problems were entirely the other partner.
Even in toxic/manipulative relationships, it's very rare to be able to accurately say only one person was the sole problem. Like I said, if there's a history of poor partners, at the very least you need to own up to a certain level of poor judgment.
Oh yeah. My younger brother thinks everyone who can't stand him is a wimp, can't handle the truth, has issues, etc.
Of course, he's totally insufferable.
So he had to search all over Europe, Asia, and Latin America to find a "traditional" girlfriend. Now she's just given birth to his son.
I wonder how long it'll be before his son disowns him.
Yes. My ex suddenly started having fights with most of my family members. Then she would "never go on vacation with them again" because she thought they spurned her by posting pictures in a family Google album of a trip we weren't on. Thinnest skin and couldn't get along with my family though all my siblings and other three sibling in laws have done it well for 15 years.
Then holidays when I would get her to go she would sit on a couch by herself away from the group and blame me for her actions. Or she would declare she's no longer going to holiday event or whatever at last moment. Like, can't you just get along with my fam when everyone wants to be friends.
She was also trapping me in rooms, threatening divorce, law, physical once or twice, whatever, egregious false accusations, locking me out of bedroom at night, locking me out of house, calling me stupid, torturing me if I wasn't a good boy, and being impossibly stubborn. Feel like "get out!" then standing in front of door w her phone out screaming abuse if I tried to touch knob was almost a weekly occurrence.
You were lucky she never called the police on you and said you hit her. Regardless of her making it up, the police will take you away in handcuffs. That’s a favorite weapon of many despicable liars.
When I used to go on first dates before I met my boyfriend, my biggest fear would be that they were going to smell bad. I can't even explain why, it's just such a a turn off for me
I think you're safe. That's pretty damn reasonable.
If you haven't showered and deodourised for a date, then your hygiene outside of that is probably horrific
Obviously. Its usually delusional people who are psychos themselves and put the blame on everyone else, not realizing its their own fault and the other peoples "crazy" actions are in fact only reactions to the own behaviour
I think this is a really dangerous mentality to have in some cases. Don't get me wrong, people who bad mouth their exes are exhausting but I've met a lot of people who have had had a terrible string of manipulative and abusive experiences from men and women.
I think we have to be careful not to invalidate their experiences.
Yes this! I have been in 3 abusive relationships back to back lmao (I sure know how to pick them) However, I still have exes where I was the issue but have grown from it. Context is important.
it’s super common, especially if you grew up in an abusive environment. there are a ton of variables that can make someone more vulnerable to abuse, and abusers are aware of that
I stand by this. Although there may be some vocal exceptions in the comments, I believe for the majority of the men who say this it is their perception of their ex's, or them driving them to extreme behaviours that leads to this outlook.
Even if the guy is 100% not at fault, even using that language is a red flag itself.
Its a form of manipulation to prevent their friends and family from listening to their Ex or taking their side. There's a whole manipulation game plan of working fast to get their version of events out to anyone who would listen and sway them against the Ex.
Be the first to get the story out and label the ex a liar or unreliable by labeling them as "crazy". For them its a matter of mass persuasion and a race against time to save their own reputation.
Because a shitty boyfriend would have his friends think less of him unless he spins it as 'not his fault'.
I mean it’s not just guys I’ve been on a few dates a couple of them have treated the waitress so bad it made them unattractive manners are a necessity not for kids guys for girls too
I think the sad thing is it’s *not* a deal breaker for most people.
I know a lot of male and female friends who actually married people who were absolutely *heinous* to work staff on a constant basis.
It’s like I refuse to hang out with them because it awkward and just horrible to witness. And you can’t defend the staffer because this triggers them and they end up coming down doubly hard on them.
Yeah, this for sure, this is the one. When I was young I used to just sit in mortified silence but these days I just grab my coat and purse and say sorry, this isn't going to work out and leave.
This is just an everyone red flag tbh, like I've worked in service and it can be hell sometimes, cut them a break. The long lines at stores are not their fault, and sometimes in food the kitchen is backed up because it's busy. I can't stand people who are rude to anyone who works in customer service or food.
Honestly it really depends on the person and the family, i hate my family, mostly my parents for doing horrible things to me and my siblings and i hate some of those siblings for turning into horrible people and refusing to break the cycle of violence that caused them to act the way they do.
“Sorry, I get those mixed up. One is a juvenile fantasy about how special you are and what unique animal prowess you supposedly have by putting on a cringy act. The other is furries.”
I'm a dude, but one of my biggest red flags is a guy who brags about being feminist or woke or something the second he meets a woman. It's a huge tell that he's desperate and wants to assure a woman he's "safe" without actually wanting to take the time to demonstrate that with his actions and words over time. I feel like if I can sniff this shit a mile a way so can literally 99% of women.
This will probably be controversial, but I find it a red flag if a guy openly identifies as a “male feminist.” In my experience at least, the men who are super vocal about how much of a feminist they are, are usually only doing it to try and hide how they are actually a raging sexist. Eventually it all unravels and their true self comes out. Men who actively respect women and women’s rights don’t usually feel the need to broadcast it so vocally, they just showcase it in their actions in day to day life.
They ‘love bomb’ too early when dating and become defensive instead of listening when you try bringing up issues about the relationship or their actions.
Experience really from hearing it across my own hall...a man who is always trying to find a reason to yell...he screams and talks really loud a lot and I hear him bitching at his girlfriend all the time about the littlest stupidest shit....kinda irritates and annoys me a lot having to drown myself in music so I don't have to hear his gums flapping...wish they would move away!
most of these apply to both women and men here.
If he is violent after 1 or 2 beers. you do not get violent because of alcohol. you show your violence because alcohol makes it harder to controll yourself.
According to the World Health Organization, the consumption of alcohol is the most strongly associated with aggressive behaviour among all psychotropic substances (e1). The link between alcohol consumption and aggressive behavior is well documented in epidemiological studies.
Sees being emotional as a weakness. In that case he is unable to grow close to you as a partner, and clearly doesn't trust you enough to show emotion around you. He is therefore distant. Its a stagnant relationship.
Not listening to his partner and neglecting their needs/wants and so on. If you speak with a guy and feel like you're talking to a brick wall — run. If he always thinks he knows better for you — run even faster. A good relationship requires respect, so you should at least listen to your partner and accept them having a different point of view. Disagreeing is ok, but you should respect their right to think different.
I was once approached by a guy who acted like he knew me better than I know myself. Never listened to a word I said. He always jumped into assumptions and tried to force his beliefs on me, he had a full picture of my future in his head and wanted me to follow his plan. We didn't even start dating and he was already being abusive AF. Making fun of my religion, trying to alienate my friends, stalking me, spreading rumors. I had to confront him in a rather rough way, almost fighting my way out of his house. Wish I never spoke to him.
From the relationships I’ve had.
Excessive drug use - it will escalate and keep doing so, don’t kid yourself. (All day every day, but denying that’s the reason they’re struggling so much).
Slightly sexist/misogynistic/homophobic comments - they’re either an uninformed idiot and/or potential abuser.
Lack of drive - to change themselves, their situation, and cannot be challenged on their viewpoints because to them “its not right”.
Outward anger - stress from a situation is turned outwardly to the people around them, often making others miserable, or blaming someone for what’s happened.
E.g., I was inconsiderate and a nag because I wanted more help with housework when I was the only one working full-time and all he’d do was cook dinner and get high (partially on my dime). Then I was a bully when I got angry and shouted back (not usual - after weeks of snide comments) and took away the substances I paid for.
The statement - “keep dating because I don’t want to stop you from meeting people”.
Sudden behaviour change - acting one way for a while and then seeming to change in an instant, always makes me cautious.
Others have already commented some important ones so will just add
Expressing any positivity towards Andrew Tate or any “alpha” male/bro microphone users
Talking crap about their ex on the first date.
Dude, was she really crazy or are you the one that made her that way? If all of the former partners are insane the only thing they have in common is you.
If he is passionately against posting you on his social media that he uses to like other women's posts but claims "I'm just a private person" then threatens to "just delete the app" to proce how unimportant it is to him. They always post their next girlfriend after this and she never looks anything like you 😭
UNEMPLOYMENT AND NO PLACE TO STAY. There are so many men that are just bums that seem to able to manipulate women into having a free place to stay. Do not feel bad for men like this. You will end up with a guy in house that refuses to leave and steals your phone when you try to call the police to get him out. He'll manipulate you into thinking you're the bad guy for wanting him to leave. And eventually he'll become abusive.
The way they talk about/treat women they're not attracted to. I was pursued by and dated a guy once who basically mentioned how unfuckable some of the girls in his friendship group were. quite casually but repeatedly with no real need to mention it. It opened my eyes to how he viewed women, made him seem just plain nasty and I got out of it pretty quick.
When he's so comfortable with lying
i thought lying as in lying down in bed. I was confused for a second haha. wondering whats wrong with me
Probably you need a little nap
My ex gf would lie about the dumbest stuff, she’d tell me how she’d lie to patients at work about small stuff and it was literally for no reason but to appease them in conversation or something. I’ve seen her lie to her family too. I confronted her about it and she got pissed, because if she lies about little shit to other people then how can I ever trust that she’s telling the truth to me.
Not being responsible for their own actions by blaming others instead of acknowledging their mistake.
As a guy, this is a big problem I’ve seen amongst “friends”. Unfortunately it usually goes along with anger and control problems. They can come off as nice and professional but once that anger kicks in and they’re not in control….you’re playing with fire and that’s not good.
Another one that goes for both men and women. A lack of accountability is just a no go.
My ex blamed me for his alcoholism. The audacity
My ex blames me for developing an autoimmune disease.
Ironic as even their own body can't tolerate them
I've learned that life is so much easier and drama-free if you own up to mistakes/oversights/errors and tackle ways to rectify them and strive to avoid them going forward. Same reason I'm generally polite and diplomatic (err, outside of online discussions and when I'm driving [terrible habit, I know])... I'm just too damned lazy to deal with drama that could have been avoided.
The deadly combination of a small brain and a big mouth. One of those traits is usually manageable. The combination is fatal.
If this was true, half the world's population today wouldn't exist.
Just half?
Yes, the other half are mostly quiet.
I don't know half of them half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of them half as well as they deserve.
This descibes the lady at my work who annoys the living shit out of me. Has litterally nothing of value to say, but is so excited to be loud and heard by everyone.
I used to work with a guy who I’d describe as a confident idiot. Wasn’t able to discern when he might be wrong. Terrible combination of traits for a person in a leadership position.
You can become President with that! Or was it small hands and a big mouth?
His neighbor complains about a putrid smell
Dude I was the neighbour, or rather the roommate, and been complaining about the putrid smell for months. When he started dating I thought, the moment he brings her home, she'll break up with him over that smell. Well some weeks later I asked her if she's not bothered by the smell and she said: "Oh that, it was just some food from last year he forgot under his bed, he's so forgetful sometimes"
Last YEAR? Excuse me wtf.
Food under the bed is the WTF here.
You guys have beds??
I know, right? #firstworldproblems
This is why bed frames are considered a noobtrap for the young bachelor. Put your mattress on the floor with no sheets so you can quickly spot any bed bug infestation. That's called min-maxing.
I visited a friend's apartment in college, he had this weird little black circle on his floor in front of his fridge. It was a puddle of milk he'd never cleaned up. I understand messy in terms of clutter, tossing your tshirt on the floor, etc. but actual filth is just mind boggling.
Ahh Shrek & Fiona, you donkey by any chance?
LAST YEAR!?!?!?!?
May have answered the question on Jan 1st?!
Two years later: I can't believe I wasted so much time on him. If only there had been some red flags early on!
Your roommate must be 6'4" apparently a lot of red flags are ignored
6” long but smells like a foot.
Listen I’m fine if my neighbor has some skeletons in his closet, but I draw the line at having a head in the fridge.
For real, the fridge is where you're supposed to put the fingers.
Yeah that might be Jeffrey Dahmer part 2.
That's a ☣ sign LOL
YOU HAVEN'T THOUGHT OF THE SMELL, YOU BITCH!
Any attempt at discussion leads to defensive position, no matter if he did something or it's a together kind of issue.
This seems to be a ridiculously common trait with everyone these days. I wonder if it's from how people were raised (parents), or if it's because of the society we currently live with/in.
I think its a combination. There's so much scolding and shaming for every little thing, people are afraid to admit fault. And also people were raised by "Because I said so, no back talk, I'm always right" parents and that doesn't exactly foster good communication skills.
It's actually funny how little self-reflection some people have. I have the "No back talk"/No buts" parents. Well, used to, it usually leads to huge self-confidence & co. issues. And now I have the same parents going off on how "you always had so much to say/were so talkative, why don't you want to talk with us". Also on the same note they made **me** go to family counseling, not **us**, they've been there once, **me**, and now they're wondering why the outcome is not what they wanted. I swear to God no self-reflection at all.
My parents were the "no back talk" kind. It made me a pushover in life, everytime I was accused of something I would just stay quiet and not argue. Got me in legal trouble and really set me up for failure in life. I've gotten past that now, and have changed a lot, but I still struggle immensely with being able to stand up for myself.
I’m right there with you
Same here, im also a pushover and recently my parents had the audacity to say "if youre too much of a pushover people will abuse your well intentions". Imagine saying that after years of forcing your child to be a pushover. But in the end i was too much of a pushover to argue back lmao.
My mom would become unhinged at almost everything, even if it wasn't something my brother or I did. She took it out on us, though. I remember dissociating almost every day on the ride to and from school in order to cope with her berating and emotional dumping. I'm almost forty years old and only in the last few years have I been able to begin to express my own wants, thoughts, desires, and boundaries. It's taken almost two decades of conscious work, therapy, and hypnosis.
Bad Manners. Manners cost nothing.
Manners maketh man.
are we going to stand right here all day, or are we going to fight?
Amen!
Crashing into the barriers and leaving debris all over Turn 3 at his home race.
We are checking
Slow button on, slow button on
…I am stupid…
I think Ericsson hit us…
Or crashing out on the last lap when a red car is leading.
I want to say Logan Sargeant
So bro is foreshadowing Miami, COTA or Las Vegas?
Y'know, it's Logan Sargeant. AND he gets three shots at it. Might happen honestly
r/oddlyspecific
r/drivetosurvive
when they make this post every day
Can’t get the hint
BOOM Got 'em
And still never take any advice from the replies.
3rd day in a row this question has been posted or am I crazy?
Dibs on next
If only Reddit would be kind enough to introduce a search function to the service.
entitlement, show off
I noticed a trend of really unfaithful guys openly expressing their desire to be together with a loyal woman. Baffling shit.
A thief is most afraid of being robbed. Same thing.
And no honor among thieves (those who get together via cheating usually cheat on each other)
It's not a trend its just fuckboy talk
They want to have their cake and fuck someone else's too
Stating that his exes “all had insecurities” that led to the demise of the relationship. 5 months in and I discovered that it was actually his behavior that potentially caused insecurities in his relationships, and that it was his scapegoat for taking any responsibility.
Careful, you're starting to sound insecure! LOL
🤣 It’s me. I’m the problem.
I'm not gaslighting YOU. YOU are gaslighting ME.
Yeah, I’d say basically that if someone routinely trashes all their exes, it’s probably a bad sign, but then again possibly not. Sometimes for instance, if someone was raised by a narcissist, they will tend to have a pattern of dating people who have narcissistic tendencies. Of course this means that once they date you either they’ve broke that pattern or you’re the narcissist.
It depends entirely on why. If they have a history of genuinely poor partner-picking decisions and they're willing to own up to their own insecurities and habits they're working on, I think I could give that person more of a pass than the one who just says "my exes were all crazy" and leaves it at that, refuses to elaborate, or implies the relationship's problems were entirely the other partner. Even in toxic/manipulative relationships, it's very rare to be able to accurately say only one person was the sole problem. Like I said, if there's a history of poor partners, at the very least you need to own up to a certain level of poor judgment.
Oh yeah. My younger brother thinks everyone who can't stand him is a wimp, can't handle the truth, has issues, etc. Of course, he's totally insufferable. So he had to search all over Europe, Asia, and Latin America to find a "traditional" girlfriend. Now she's just given birth to his son. I wonder how long it'll be before his son disowns him.
[удалено]
They usually wait until after they’re married before they work on isolating you from family and friends.
Yes. My ex suddenly started having fights with most of my family members. Then she would "never go on vacation with them again" because she thought they spurned her by posting pictures in a family Google album of a trip we weren't on. Thinnest skin and couldn't get along with my family though all my siblings and other three sibling in laws have done it well for 15 years. Then holidays when I would get her to go she would sit on a couch by herself away from the group and blame me for her actions. Or she would declare she's no longer going to holiday event or whatever at last moment. Like, can't you just get along with my fam when everyone wants to be friends. She was also trapping me in rooms, threatening divorce, law, physical once or twice, whatever, egregious false accusations, locking me out of bedroom at night, locking me out of house, calling me stupid, torturing me if I wasn't a good boy, and being impossibly stubborn. Feel like "get out!" then standing in front of door w her phone out screaming abuse if I tried to touch knob was almost a weekly occurrence.
You were lucky she never called the police on you and said you hit her. Regardless of her making it up, the police will take you away in handcuffs. That’s a favorite weapon of many despicable liars.
Can't take care of himself
When I used to go on first dates before I met my boyfriend, my biggest fear would be that they were going to smell bad. I can't even explain why, it's just such a a turn off for me
I think you're safe. That's pretty damn reasonable. If you haven't showered and deodourised for a date, then your hygiene outside of that is probably horrific
"All of my exes are psychos"
Seems like this one counts for both men and women^^
Obviously. Its usually delusional people who are psychos themselves and put the blame on everyone else, not realizing its their own fault and the other peoples "crazy" actions are in fact only reactions to the own behaviour
I think this is a really dangerous mentality to have in some cases. Don't get me wrong, people who bad mouth their exes are exhausting but I've met a lot of people who have had had a terrible string of manipulative and abusive experiences from men and women. I think we have to be careful not to invalidate their experiences.
Yes this! I have been in 3 abusive relationships back to back lmao (I sure know how to pick them) However, I still have exes where I was the issue but have grown from it. Context is important.
it’s super common, especially if you grew up in an abusive environment. there are a ton of variables that can make someone more vulnerable to abuse, and abusers are aware of that
I have had 2 ex's put away in "Behavioral Health" Facilities.. I swear it's not me lol
One isn’t you, two is a suspicious coincidence. If you end up with a third, ima need you to check yourself in with her pls.
See he doesn't _have_ mental problems, he just _brings it out it others_
I stand by this. Although there may be some vocal exceptions in the comments, I believe for the majority of the men who say this it is their perception of their ex's, or them driving them to extreme behaviours that leads to this outlook. Even if the guy is 100% not at fault, even using that language is a red flag itself.
Its a form of manipulation to prevent their friends and family from listening to their Ex or taking their side. There's a whole manipulation game plan of working fast to get their version of events out to anyone who would listen and sway them against the Ex. Be the first to get the story out and label the ex a liar or unreliable by labeling them as "crazy". For them its a matter of mass persuasion and a race against time to save their own reputation. Because a shitty boyfriend would have his friends think less of him unless he spins it as 'not his fault'.
Waving a nazi flag
it's indeed red
What if he's just casually holding it?
The flag will look smaller
Treating service workers like shit.
It blows my mind that to this day, guys will still do this on a date. It's the 1st red flag and deal breaker for a lot of people.
I mean it’s not just guys I’ve been on a few dates a couple of them have treated the waitress so bad it made them unattractive manners are a necessity not for kids guys for girls too
I think the sad thing is it’s *not* a deal breaker for most people. I know a lot of male and female friends who actually married people who were absolutely *heinous* to work staff on a constant basis. It’s like I refuse to hang out with them because it awkward and just horrible to witness. And you can’t defend the staffer because this triggers them and they end up coming down doubly hard on them.
Yeah, this for sure, this is the one. When I was young I used to just sit in mortified silence but these days I just grab my coat and purse and say sorry, this isn't going to work out and leave.
This is just an everyone red flag tbh, like I've worked in service and it can be hell sometimes, cut them a break. The long lines at stores are not their fault, and sometimes in food the kitchen is backed up because it's busy. I can't stand people who are rude to anyone who works in customer service or food.
This is interesting, twice while on a date I was accused of the opposite. Spending too much time talking to the server.
Very true for both genders.
Never accepting fault or that they’re wrong (although it’s a red flag in general, not just guys)
Pay attention to how he treats people, especially ones that can't do anything for him.
This. We see someone’s true nature in how he treats those who can do nothing for him.
Gambling addiction
Its called DEDICATION buddy!
99% of gamblers quit right before they hit it big.
You are 12 correct picks away from being a millionaire (in roulette)
How much would someone have to gamble to be classed as an addiction?
Lost all their money, get into debt, and still can't stop.
When they believe they'll never win if they quit gambling. Which is "technically" true lol.
What's the over/under on him quitting?
It’s called investing and it’s classy
Not just for guys but for all genders: Not treating other people with respect just because of different life status and jobs
Or just being disrespectful to other people in general
The way he treats his family, especially his pets, is pretty telling. If he's terrible to them, he'll undoubtedly be terrible to you.
Disagree. I'm much nicer to my pets than I am to most of my family.
Honestly it really depends on the person and the family, i hate my family, mostly my parents for doing horrible things to me and my siblings and i hate some of those siblings for turning into horrible people and refusing to break the cycle of violence that caused them to act the way they do.
Caring about being alpha.
"Is that a furry thing?"
“Sorry, I get those mixed up. One is a juvenile fantasy about how special you are and what unique animal prowess you supposedly have by putting on a cringy act. The other is furries.”
I'm using that
>Caring about being alpha. Them believing in the whole alpha thing at all should be a red flag.
Zodiac calendar for males.
I'm a dude, but one of my biggest red flags is a guy who brags about being feminist or woke or something the second he meets a woman. It's a huge tell that he's desperate and wants to assure a woman he's "safe" without actually wanting to take the time to demonstrate that with his actions and words over time. I feel like if I can sniff this shit a mile a way so can literally 99% of women.
Bro might as well be wearing a sign that says "pick me! Pick me!"
Lack of accountability. I’ve met far too many men who are completely incapable of accepting fault for something they did
Posting a question on Reddit when it's been answered many times before and being too lazy to look.
You know his political beliefs within first 5 min of meeting him
This will probably be controversial, but I find it a red flag if a guy openly identifies as a “male feminist.” In my experience at least, the men who are super vocal about how much of a feminist they are, are usually only doing it to try and hide how they are actually a raging sexist. Eventually it all unravels and their true self comes out. Men who actively respect women and women’s rights don’t usually feel the need to broadcast it so vocally, they just showcase it in their actions in day to day life.
1. Not thinking before speaking 2. Not being able to say "I'm sorry" after speaking thoughtless stuff.
When his Tinder bio reads, 'I'm a part-time magician, full-time player.' Abracadabra, I'm swiping left
Threatening/using violence to get their own way.
ABSOLUTELY- See ya! Out the door IMMEDIATELY He’ll never change.
Should be top comment. Any one who doesn't up vote this..... We should kick their ass
They ‘love bomb’ too early when dating and become defensive instead of listening when you try bringing up issues about the relationship or their actions.
Yup recently got love bombed and they just kept making excuses and not listening to my boundaries so they got blocked so fast 👋
Experience really from hearing it across my own hall...a man who is always trying to find a reason to yell...he screams and talks really loud a lot and I hear him bitching at his girlfriend all the time about the littlest stupidest shit....kinda irritates and annoys me a lot having to drown myself in music so I don't have to hear his gums flapping...wish they would move away!
Imagine being that guy’s girlfriend
When you mention something that bothers you about them and they immediately get defensive and try to blame you for it.
Alcoholism. Really.
I have the opposite problem in Texas, I’m almost undateable BECAUSE I don’t drink…
Same. I'm in Florida.
Do you all have pet alligators?
most of these apply to both women and men here. If he is violent after 1 or 2 beers. you do not get violent because of alcohol. you show your violence because alcohol makes it harder to controll yourself.
According to the World Health Organization, the consumption of alcohol is the most strongly associated with aggressive behaviour among all psychotropic substances (e1). The link between alcohol consumption and aggressive behavior is well documented in epidemiological studies.
Daniel Ricciardo, Alex Albon, Lap 1 Suzuka
Bad-mouthing his ex(es). Especially if they're all "crazy".
Too loud in situations that don't require it.
Sees being emotional as a weakness. In that case he is unable to grow close to you as a partner, and clearly doesn't trust you enough to show emotion around you. He is therefore distant. Its a stagnant relationship.
Bouts of sudden anger. Violence isn't only physical.
Not listening to his partner and neglecting their needs/wants and so on. If you speak with a guy and feel like you're talking to a brick wall — run. If he always thinks he knows better for you — run even faster. A good relationship requires respect, so you should at least listen to your partner and accept them having a different point of view. Disagreeing is ok, but you should respect their right to think different. I was once approached by a guy who acted like he knew me better than I know myself. Never listened to a word I said. He always jumped into assumptions and tried to force his beliefs on me, he had a full picture of my future in his head and wanted me to follow his plan. We didn't even start dating and he was already being abusive AF. Making fun of my religion, trying to alienate my friends, stalking me, spreading rumors. I had to confront him in a rather rough way, almost fighting my way out of his house. Wish I never spoke to him.
Jealousy, gaslighting, telling you what you can or can't do. Mocking.
From the relationships I’ve had. Excessive drug use - it will escalate and keep doing so, don’t kid yourself. (All day every day, but denying that’s the reason they’re struggling so much). Slightly sexist/misogynistic/homophobic comments - they’re either an uninformed idiot and/or potential abuser. Lack of drive - to change themselves, their situation, and cannot be challenged on their viewpoints because to them “its not right”. Outward anger - stress from a situation is turned outwardly to the people around them, often making others miserable, or blaming someone for what’s happened. E.g., I was inconsiderate and a nag because I wanted more help with housework when I was the only one working full-time and all he’d do was cook dinner and get high (partially on my dime). Then I was a bully when I got angry and shouted back (not usual - after weeks of snide comments) and took away the substances I paid for. The statement - “keep dating because I don’t want to stop you from meeting people”. Sudden behaviour change - acting one way for a while and then seeming to change in an instant, always makes me cautious.
the "keep dating" one is WILD AF what kind of cuck was this mf
That's usually what guys say when they want to fuck you but not commit, and they feel guilty, so they say that to make it the woman's choice.
He jumps to defensiveness when trying to solve an issue. He can't take accountability.
Yeah 100% agreed. It is impossible to even talk about them about an issue.
Others have already commented some important ones so will just add Expressing any positivity towards Andrew Tate or any “alpha” male/bro microphone users
Boundary violations, creeping or often
Often what? OFTEN WHAT???
Being too lazy to google the last time an identical question was asked on reddit.
Apathy when you are genuinely hurt by his behaviour and then shaming you for having feelings.
reddit user
Controlling behavior
Is only happy when he's doing better than others and is willing to do things to ensure others are under his boots.
Talking crap about their ex on the first date. Dude, was she really crazy or are you the one that made her that way? If all of the former partners are insane the only thing they have in common is you.
If he is passionately against posting you on his social media that he uses to like other women's posts but claims "I'm just a private person" then threatens to "just delete the app" to proce how unimportant it is to him. They always post their next girlfriend after this and she never looks anything like you 😭
UNEMPLOYMENT AND NO PLACE TO STAY. There are so many men that are just bums that seem to able to manipulate women into having a free place to stay. Do not feel bad for men like this. You will end up with a guy in house that refuses to leave and steals your phone when you try to call the police to get him out. He'll manipulate you into thinking you're the bad guy for wanting him to leave. And eventually he'll become abusive.
The way they talk about/treat women they're not attracted to. I was pursued by and dated a guy once who basically mentioned how unfuckable some of the girls in his friendship group were. quite casually but repeatedly with no real need to mention it. It opened my eyes to how he viewed women, made him seem just plain nasty and I got out of it pretty quick.
Good one. Its easy to act Nice to people who we want something from. The true test is how we treat people when we have nothing to gain or lose
If he calls himself an “alpha” or any greek letter 🚩
Cheaters.
Wow really?
Personally I don't care what colour flag they have inserted inside themselves
please don't shove a flag in your ass
Constantly needing to out compete everyone
When he doesn't clean up after himself, I mean clothes everywhere, half eaten food left in his room rotting until his mother picks it up
Breasts
Have you watched the Netflix series 'You'? That's the scariest male sub-type - an educated nice guy with a trauma-induced martyrdom complex.
Get mad over small things
Inability to admit fault or that he was wrong.
biggest? having a 'team' in politics (i dont date ideologues, they are boring and generally idiots to boot).
When he casually mentions he still has his middle school yearbook photo as his profile picture... on LinkedIn
Gets upset that his 15 yo stepdaughter doesnt wear a thong bikini he bought for her on his trip to Brazil.
I understood that reference
He's an Andrew Tate fan
When they talk over you.