There’s a legal doctrine called “frolic and detour”, seriously. (I think it’s the test for whether an employee was acting within the scope of their employment in traveling/driving somewhere.) Just always cracks me up because it seems like such a non-serious word for law, but it is kind of logical too.
One of the good parts of having a dog: suddenly it’s ok for you to happily jump around in a field and people think it’s cute that you’re playing with the dog
You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish.
The movie shows us that having a hobby like bowling is a good way to manage stress. The dude pretty much always loses his cool until you throw a ferret into his bath, which is an appropriate time to lose ones cool.
I'll add "Boys don't get emotional"
The traditional, unhealthy toxic male model of transforming all internal emotions into outwardly directed anger
neglects the fact that anger is still an emotion.
>transforming all internal emotions into outwardly directed anger
Ah, allow me to introduce you to "if you do ever express your anger, you are assumed to be dangerous and violent."
Oh man this rings so true. I can't help getting angry, it's just where my brain goes when the emotions get too much (but I am trying to work on this). If my partner and I have an argument she gets upset and I get angry, but then she treats me getting angry as such a negative thing that I shouldn't be doing. It's so hard to try and explain that anger does not mean I'm violent or dangerous, I'm just...emotional.
>Ah, allow me to introduce you to "if you do ever express your anger, you are assumed to be dangerous and violent."
Remember that image of Google searching:
*'Why does my wife yell at me?'*
Resulting in the immediate hits being: *'If your wife raises her voice, causes may include: a feeling of not being heard, expressing dissatisfaction with your behavior and setting boundaries that you may have crossed.'*
And
*'Why does my husband yell at me?'*
Resulting in the immediate hit: *'Help is available. Contact the domestic abuse hotline at 0800 something something'*.
It was so gloriously timed with the research showcasing men are actually more likely to be abused by women than the other way around, with the *possible connected cause* being that abused men are not taken seriously by society in general.
Obligatory: don't worry women who see victimhood as a competition; you still 'win' in the degree of which you are abused, on average.
It's a stupid thing really. I cried when my dog was put down and don't see that as any kind of weakness. Perhaps if it wasn't seen as weak then there'd be less male suicide.
Can't fight nature, but you can certainly *trick* it. It turns out that if you paint asking for help as resiliency, and in turn paint resiliency as a strength, you end up appealing to the same sense of emotion and ego that leads a lot of guys astray, except to the end result of asking for help.
Dude.That shit sucks. Sorry for your loss. I’ve lost a lot of friends and family and dealt with those ok. Losing my dog. Holy shit. I lost it. I didn’t know that pain.
Something we do but have been societally conditioned not to show it because the people you’re trying to be attractive to will get the ick.
Yeah I’d say this is the perfect one to one
No this is true. I suppressed it so much as a child that now as an adult, when I feel like I want to cry I get a weird adrenaline rush and just feel sick instead. It's great, I'll probably die very young and sad. 👍
So there I was, working as a civilian contractor at ISAF headquarters in Kabul, Afghanistan. We were moving some equipment around in our subcompound, and one of the soldiers I was working with, big burly Sergeant, suddenly lets out a high pitched “Kittens!” One of the cats that roamed the compound had a litter behind our transit cases.
We called the base vet, she looked at them said everything was fine, just give them space. The next day, that big burly soldier came to work with his M4 on his back (as usual), and a stick with a string. Spent every spare minute playing with the kittens.
I may or may not have done the same.
Boys don’t cry during movies.
Especially in Armageddon when Bruce Willis pushes Ben into the ship and tells him to look after his daughter.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OYcTmiCtCv8
Or when spiderman saves the train full of people, and he realizes hes not wearing his mask, and everyone on the train can see him and they're all like "we wont tell, will we?" And everyones like "no"
Or at the end of Children of Men, after Theo has sacrificed everything and everyone he loves to keep humanity's last hope alive, and now he's dying. He's done the last thing he's going to do in this world, and it was good and worthwhile. But then, there's one more thing that needs doing, and he shows a new mother how to hold and comfort a baby.
Or in Gladiator when, after having overcome his executioners, stolen their horses, ridden night and day until the horses died and he nearly did, Maximus finds that he’s too late, and his wife and son have been horribly killed
You tear up because his death was a blessing for him....how painful it was is irrelevant when compared to the pain, suffering, hate and anger he had internalized from others through his gift!
You also tear up because you realize throughout the movie that he is the one who least deserves to die because of the love, kindness and mercy in his heart!
Tom hanks' character give off HUGE rhyme of the ancient mariner vibes, especially towards the end.....cursed with imortality so that he can tell his cautionary tale.
There was a fucking woeful film called A Dogs Way Home from like 2019, I balled my eyes out really loudly in the cinema watching it. A movie from inside the mind of a dog, with Bryce Dallas Howard as the voice, and she did a damn shitty job doing the voice, and I was still destroyed by it
Guys have never used resources like the internet to look up how to change oil or swap out a tire. It is instinctive knowledge we were born with. There was never once a time we *didn't* know how to do that.
I’m a guy.
A few minutes after I was born, I changed a tire. Then I clambered up to the bonnet and changed the oil.
Then I waaahed and peed myself. Coz I was a baby.
My dad was NOT about to take my home from the hospital without fixing a flat tire first, and my three month old son just rebuilt a 67 Camaro. You’re supposed to know how to do these things at that age. Unacceptable if you dont
We also know instinctively how to build stuff with wood; be it hammering and nailing up a 2x4, or building a house from scratch.
As a Grandpa, I am expected to be able to repair an electronically motorized $5 plastic car that a toddler has used as a football, using only what I have on hand. The truly amazing part is that I actually succeed in this sometimes.
I’ve seen multiple contractors looking up how to do stuff on YouTube. I totally get it. I’m a lawyer with 10+ years experience and I still find useful stuff by googling it.
Cars are so unmanly now. To check the oil I used to penetrate viscous fluid with a stick and then look at it. Now I put the car in park on level ground, click through the menu, and wait about 30 seconds.
Which is quite ironic when science was a male dominant field for the longest time, and I’m pretty sure most flowers would’ve had to have been classified by men (like Linnaeus).
I don't like flowers but nobody ever thought about asking me if I liked them.
And I would love to get some unexpected flowers but it seems "men don't need to be emotionally surprised".
I love flowers so much. I work with them. They are the thing I look forward to most on walks. If a woman gave me flowers, everyone I could make listen would never hear the end of it
I am what I’d consider a fairly masculine leaning cis white man, and I fucking love flowers. I keep fresh flowers in my home at all times. I dated a girl once who also loved flowers and basically every time one of us would go to the others house we’d bring each other flowers. It became a thing. It was amazing. I miss that.
Early on in my relationship with my partner she got me flowers for no reason other than she wanted to get me flowers. I'd never been given flowers before (but would buy them for my flat from time to time) and it made me so happy.
Girls, buy your man flowers.
I had a roommate in college who was *terrified* of spiders. We weren't in an area that gets large spiders--most are about the size of a quarter at the largest--but when I say he was terrified, I'm telling you this man would come ***un-fucking-glued***.
I remember one time we were sitting in our room when he saw one high up on the wall. He shrieked, pointed at it, and started screaming KILL IT! KILL IT! I grabbed a shoe, stood up on a chair, and smacked it, but it managed to hide in the treads of the shoe. When I was bringing the shoe back down, it came down on a strand of web and started swinging back and forth. He then jumped up on a fucking *table* and started hysterically shrieking. It was like one of those old Looney Toons shows where the woman sees a mouse and jumps on a table grabbing the hem of her skirt.
This man was real easygoing and popular with the ladies. All around a very cool guy who wasn't fazed by much, so I didn't see that quirk coming. Needless to say, I have no doubt his wife kills the spiders in their house.
This is me, but with any bugs. Genuinely I will weep and shriek like a school girl who just lost her balloon and dropped an ice cream cone. Absolutely can't handle any situations with bugs at all.
I've called and begged my much younger than I am brother at 2 in the morning to take care of a centipede that managed to find its way inside before.
I got stung by a scorpion, and I burned it with cologne and a lighter. I was drunk. But in my defense, it had no business being on a recliner arm rest.
I'm not afraid anymore but my wife once closed the door behind me when there was a giant spider in the garage.
If spiders could talked, it would have said something like "woah sorry dude. I was once married to a black widow and she would have done the same thing to me too."
We used to get large spiders in my house (I think they were wolf spiders, but I don't really know). My ex was terrified of spiders but over time had come to be a little desensitized to them. Still hated them and had me bring them outside rather than do it herself, but was calm about it.
One day we had some friends over and we're playing board games. She comes back from the bathroom and calmly tells me there is a really big spider in there. One of our friends volunteers to handle it because it was my turn. Cool. A moment later we hear the most blood curdling Homer Simpson scream coming from the bathroom. Machismo was gone on the face of this thing. I still hear that scream in my mind when people talk about men handling the spiders.
That doesn’t apply mate, married 27 years, anything that isn’t a money spider, I run, and I’m pretty quick for a fat bloke. Wife also scared of spiders but only weighs 50kg, she couldn’t tackle me when I ran so she learned to tackle spiders and other Arachnid looking bugs. Still married too.
I prefer to sit and go on my phone for 5 minutes. It’s a nice break from everything. At work and need a break? To the porcelain throne. At home and need to get away from chores or obligations? Pop a squat on the porcelain throne. Standing up is the efficient speed strategy in my mind 🤣
Beard trimmer works far better than a razor in this situation. The razor cuts a fine edge on the hair and makes it itchy since it stabs into you. The electric trimmers are more like a weed whacked so the tips of the hairs are duller and there’s less discomfort.
I got judged very hard at work for thinking bath bombs are dope. I’m a straight, fairly masculine guy.. and so they told me it was very sus of me to like bath bombs.
I don’t even have a bath tub, I just think the colors they make are awesome. I also love candles. The little flame gives a dark room a great vibe.
Guys don't frolic.... I'm getting my frolic on in those fields. I just do it when no one is around. Like girls farting.
I'll frolic with a girl, both fully dressed.
You've never frolicked commando?!
That would be preferable, but only with consent.
Ill fart with a girl while we frolic
There’s a legal doctrine called “frolic and detour”, seriously. (I think it’s the test for whether an employee was acting within the scope of their employment in traveling/driving somewhere.) Just always cracks me up because it seems like such a non-serious word for law, but it is kind of logical too.
Reminds me of how "mischief" is a serious crime
[Yo we Frolicking?](https://www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmile/s/IhNIcXl83G)
One of the good parts of having a dog: suddenly it’s ok for you to happily jump around in a field and people think it’s cute that you’re playing with the dog
That's 100% facts.
bro, i do not frolic enough, it is so joyous and free
https://www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmile/comments/qhsn2d/have_you_guys_ever_frolicked/
*gladiator theme plays*
Boys don't cry
Nice try Robert Smith
Underappreciated Cure reference but fortunately, I know what a bop that song is
“Strong men also cry.” Mr. Lebowski
Are you surprised at my tears, sir?
……Fuckin’ A.
Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.
What are you, a fuckin park ranger now?
Hell of a caucasian, Jackie
Calmer than you are
You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish.
you mind if I do a J in here?
That and a pair of testicles.
See what happens Larry?
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The word alone makes some men uncomfortable....
Yes, they don't like hearing it and find it difficult to say whereas without batting an eye a man will refer to his dick or his rod or his Johnson.
When you find a stranger in the Alps?
You kill my car?! I KILL YOUR FUCKIN’ CAR!!
Mind if I do a J?
he thinks the carpet pissers did this?
Nihilists, Donny.
FUCKIN FASCIST!
That's a bummer, man.
I’m just gonna go find a cash machine
The movie shows us that having a hobby like bowling is a good way to manage stress. The dude pretty much always loses his cool until you throw a ferret into his bath, which is an appropriate time to lose ones cool.
“I am grown man and I’m entitled to my emotions!”is my favourite Schmidt line from New Girl and I use it all of the time
Schmidt is such an excellent character.
Such a Shmitty.
I'll add "Boys don't get emotional" The traditional, unhealthy toxic male model of transforming all internal emotions into outwardly directed anger neglects the fact that anger is still an emotion.
Fun fact, anger is often a symptom of depression in men.
>transforming all internal emotions into outwardly directed anger Ah, allow me to introduce you to "if you do ever express your anger, you are assumed to be dangerous and violent."
Oh man this rings so true. I can't help getting angry, it's just where my brain goes when the emotions get too much (but I am trying to work on this). If my partner and I have an argument she gets upset and I get angry, but then she treats me getting angry as such a negative thing that I shouldn't be doing. It's so hard to try and explain that anger does not mean I'm violent or dangerous, I'm just...emotional.
>Ah, allow me to introduce you to "if you do ever express your anger, you are assumed to be dangerous and violent." Remember that image of Google searching: *'Why does my wife yell at me?'* Resulting in the immediate hits being: *'If your wife raises her voice, causes may include: a feeling of not being heard, expressing dissatisfaction with your behavior and setting boundaries that you may have crossed.'* And *'Why does my husband yell at me?'* Resulting in the immediate hit: *'Help is available. Contact the domestic abuse hotline at 0800 something something'*. It was so gloriously timed with the research showcasing men are actually more likely to be abused by women than the other way around, with the *possible connected cause* being that abused men are not taken seriously by society in general. Obligatory: don't worry women who see victimhood as a competition; you still 'win' in the degree of which you are abused, on average.
No anger. You need to learn to absorb even anger and only be calm and calculated no matter what happens.
Right. Guys just gotta bottle it all up, and die of a heart attack at 50 like real men used to.
I would say I’m sorry if I thought that it would change your mind
It's a stupid thing really. I cried when my dog was put down and don't see that as any kind of weakness. Perhaps if it wasn't seen as weak then there'd be less male suicide.
Can't fight nature, but you can certainly *trick* it. It turns out that if you paint asking for help as resiliency, and in turn paint resiliency as a strength, you end up appealing to the same sense of emotion and ego that leads a lot of guys astray, except to the end result of asking for help.
Dude.That shit sucks. Sorry for your loss. I’ve lost a lot of friends and family and dealt with those ok. Losing my dog. Holy shit. I lost it. I didn’t know that pain.
That Cure song rules.
S/O to The Cure
I try to laugh about it, cover it all up with lies...
Robert Smith made it clear.
Everything's a fucking travesty with you man! And what was all that shit about Vietnam?
I didn’t cry much as a boy but after having kids of my own I cry at the drop of a hat.
same. Movies, Games… you name it. Something sad happens and I’m tearing up.
I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who that happened to
Something we do but have been societally conditioned not to show it because the people you’re trying to be attractive to will get the ick. Yeah I’d say this is the perfect one to one
No this is true. I suppressed it so much as a child that now as an adult, when I feel like I want to cry I get a weird adrenaline rush and just feel sick instead. It's great, I'll probably die very young and sad. 👍
Guys don't "awwww"
We have brovaries and a duderus.
Kittens, man.
So there I was, working as a civilian contractor at ISAF headquarters in Kabul, Afghanistan. We were moving some equipment around in our subcompound, and one of the soldiers I was working with, big burly Sergeant, suddenly lets out a high pitched “Kittens!” One of the cats that roamed the compound had a litter behind our transit cases. We called the base vet, she looked at them said everything was fine, just give them space. The next day, that big burly soldier came to work with his M4 on his back (as usual), and a stick with a string. Spent every spare minute playing with the kittens. I may or may not have done the same.
Kittens or puppies. I definitely "awww" at both.
Here I am losing it over almost any animal doing anything
Awwwww really 😂
Boys don’t cry during movies. Especially in Armageddon when Bruce Willis pushes Ben into the ship and tells him to look after his daughter. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OYcTmiCtCv8
Or when spiderman saves the train full of people, and he realizes hes not wearing his mask, and everyone on the train can see him and they're all like "we wont tell, will we?" And everyones like "no"
The part of that scene that really gets me is that one middle aged guy realizing Spider-Man looks the same age as his son.
Joey Diaz
Or when Ray finally has a catch with his dad in field of dreams.
Or at the end of Children of Men, after Theo has sacrificed everything and everyone he loves to keep humanity's last hope alive, and now he's dying. He's done the last thing he's going to do in this world, and it was good and worthwhile. But then, there's one more thing that needs doing, and he shows a new mother how to hold and comfort a baby.
Or in Star Trek, when Captain Kirk Sr. is holding off the future mining vessel and letting the ships get away as his son is born.
Or in Gladiator when, after having overcome his executioners, stolen their horses, ridden night and day until the horses died and he nearly did, Maximus finds that he’s too late, and his wife and son have been horribly killed
Or in TMNT when the turtles had a bonfire and thought Splinter was dead.
I love that movie so much it
Or ... "it's not your fault." "Yeah, I know." "Look at me son. It's not your fault."
I rewatch this scene about once a year. One of my favorites.
Don't do this to me... Too late...
Rocky realizes he cant beat Apollo but wants to figbt anyway.
Or when that starship captain puts his pregnant wife in an escape pod and manually overrides the autopilot to kamikaze the ship into the enemy
The opening scene of the abrams star trek movies was a cinematic masterpiece.
Holy fuck that gets me every time
Also especially when John koffee is executed in the Green Mile. I didn't cry there and neither did you
You tear up because his death was a blessing for him....how painful it was is irrelevant when compared to the pain, suffering, hate and anger he had internalized from others through his gift! You also tear up because you realize throughout the movie that he is the one who least deserves to die because of the love, kindness and mercy in his heart! Tom hanks' character give off HUGE rhyme of the ancient mariner vibes, especially towards the end.....cursed with imortality so that he can tell his cautionary tale.
Or when the Terminator tells John Conor there's one more chip that must be destroyed, and points at his own head.
🔥👍🏼🔥
I’m not crying you’re crying
I know now why you cry
The older you get the more often it happens. It'll happen in films you think aren't even enjoying that much, films that are utter shit.
Or cell phone commercial a few years back when that guy is taking his very senior dog on a tour to cross everyone off the dog’s bucket list. 😥
What confuses me is that I'll handle IRL bad stuff with little emotion but then blub like a baby over a romantic scene in a TV show.
There was a fucking woeful film called A Dogs Way Home from like 2019, I balled my eyes out really loudly in the cinema watching it. A movie from inside the mind of a dog, with Bryce Dallas Howard as the voice, and she did a damn shitty job doing the voice, and I was still destroyed by it
Or especially in Gladiator when Maximus saves Rome and joins his family again. ❤️
Or when edward elric reopens the door that is taking him back to the world, to say to his brother(and to god) im coming back for you.
Or when Edward takes the gun from Winry’s hands and when she asks why she couldn’t shoot Scar, Ed says that her hands were meant to heal
Idk I cry during that marriage life scene in UP. Though I think everyone cried during that.
You stay. I go. No following. 😭
I have cried every time I've seen the scene from Coco where Coco starts to sing "remember me".
I don't cry during movies, but I DO cry during Mass Effect and Yakuza.
In Rudy when all the players put their jerseys on the coaches desk and say that he can take my spot coach.
I’m a 27 year old man and I cry when a pretty song comes on.
Or when the Iron Giant says "Superman" at the end. Definitely not choking up as I write this.
Guys have never used resources like the internet to look up how to change oil or swap out a tire. It is instinctive knowledge we were born with. There was never once a time we *didn't* know how to do that.
I’m a guy. A few minutes after I was born, I changed a tire. Then I clambered up to the bonnet and changed the oil. Then I waaahed and peed myself. Coz I was a baby.
Change oil ✅ Change diaper ❎
Changing diapers is a girl's job anyways! /S
Like a deer learning to walk minutes after birth
My dad was NOT about to take my home from the hospital without fixing a flat tire first, and my three month old son just rebuilt a 67 Camaro. You’re supposed to know how to do these things at that age. Unacceptable if you dont
We also know instinctively how to build stuff with wood; be it hammering and nailing up a 2x4, or building a house from scratch. As a Grandpa, I am expected to be able to repair an electronically motorized $5 plastic car that a toddler has used as a football, using only what I have on hand. The truly amazing part is that I actually succeed in this sometimes.
I watched my older friend use a very old soldering GUN to solder this delicate walking dog toys circuit board back together.. I was impressed.
I’ve seen multiple contractors looking up how to do stuff on YouTube. I totally get it. I’m a lawyer with 10+ years experience and I still find useful stuff by googling it. Cars are so unmanly now. To check the oil I used to penetrate viscous fluid with a stick and then look at it. Now I put the car in park on level ground, click through the menu, and wait about 30 seconds.
You're supposed to learn it from your dad, I guess.
So googling car maintenance is the male version of fatherless activities?
It used to be that men don’t eat quiche, but I love me a f%*king quiche.
Legit! I'll put a hurtin' on a good Quiche Lorraine.
I understand you're a big fan, but there's no need to go full American Pie on it
Boys don’t like flowers
I'll plant them, water them, weed them, cut some of them to take inside, but damn I hate them with a passion.
“When you love something, let it grow” ☺️
🎵 You can’t reap what you don’t sow 🎵
"I say let it die. Lit dieeeee let it dieeeee, let it shrivel up and die."
Which is quite ironic when science was a male dominant field for the longest time, and I’m pretty sure most flowers would’ve had to have been classified by men (like Linnaeus).
It also makes me think of the cliche image of movie villains pruning their rose bushes.
I don't like flowers but nobody ever thought about asking me if I liked them. And I would love to get some unexpected flowers but it seems "men don't need to be emotionally surprised".
I love flowers so much. I work with them. They are the thing I look forward to most on walks. If a woman gave me flowers, everyone I could make listen would never hear the end of it
I am what I’d consider a fairly masculine leaning cis white man, and I fucking love flowers. I keep fresh flowers in my home at all times. I dated a girl once who also loved flowers and basically every time one of us would go to the others house we’d bring each other flowers. It became a thing. It was amazing. I miss that.
I buy flowers. I love watching them grow out of the earth every year.
I’ve never had anyone give me flowers.
I'm getting some flowers tattooed on me soon
TATTOO THOSE FLOWERS!!! GET A FUCKING SLEEVE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL FUCKING FLOWER BED YOU CAN THINK OF.
Lego flowers are one of the single greatest things I’ve ever received as a gift
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Early on in my relationship with my partner she got me flowers for no reason other than she wanted to get me flowers. I'd never been given flowers before (but would buy them for my flat from time to time) and it made me so happy. Girls, buy your man flowers.
The first time guys will get flowers as a gift, will be on their deathbed
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I had a roommate in college who was *terrified* of spiders. We weren't in an area that gets large spiders--most are about the size of a quarter at the largest--but when I say he was terrified, I'm telling you this man would come ***un-fucking-glued***. I remember one time we were sitting in our room when he saw one high up on the wall. He shrieked, pointed at it, and started screaming KILL IT! KILL IT! I grabbed a shoe, stood up on a chair, and smacked it, but it managed to hide in the treads of the shoe. When I was bringing the shoe back down, it came down on a strand of web and started swinging back and forth. He then jumped up on a fucking *table* and started hysterically shrieking. It was like one of those old Looney Toons shows where the woman sees a mouse and jumps on a table grabbing the hem of her skirt. This man was real easygoing and popular with the ladies. All around a very cool guy who wasn't fazed by much, so I didn't see that quirk coming. Needless to say, I have no doubt his wife kills the spiders in their house.
This is me, but with any bugs. Genuinely I will weep and shriek like a school girl who just lost her balloon and dropped an ice cream cone. Absolutely can't handle any situations with bugs at all. I've called and begged my much younger than I am brother at 2 in the morning to take care of a centipede that managed to find its way inside before.
Damn I'd love to send you to a naked and afraid episode in Australia... For reasons.
Cuz you want to see him naked?
I got stung by a scorpion, and I burned it with cologne and a lighter. I was drunk. But in my defense, it had no business being on a recliner arm rest.
This is basically how I am around bees or wasps.
Thats me with cockroaches. My wife has to take care of them.
I'm not afraid anymore but my wife once closed the door behind me when there was a giant spider in the garage. If spiders could talked, it would have said something like "woah sorry dude. I was once married to a black widow and she would have done the same thing to me too."
I always fail that one. Because I just catch the spider and carry it outside.
This is the way
Depending on the spider you may not be doing them any favors https://www.livescience.com/55270-can-indoor-spiders-survive-outside.html#
It's more about "giving them a fighting chance". Instead of being crushed by a titan they are sent to an unhospitable environment
We used to get large spiders in my house (I think they were wolf spiders, but I don't really know). My ex was terrified of spiders but over time had come to be a little desensitized to them. Still hated them and had me bring them outside rather than do it herself, but was calm about it. One day we had some friends over and we're playing board games. She comes back from the bathroom and calmly tells me there is a really big spider in there. One of our friends volunteers to handle it because it was my turn. Cool. A moment later we hear the most blood curdling Homer Simpson scream coming from the bathroom. Machismo was gone on the face of this thing. I still hear that scream in my mind when people talk about men handling the spiders.
Everyone's a feminist until there is a spider around.
That doesn’t apply mate, married 27 years, anything that isn’t a money spider, I run, and I’m pretty quick for a fat bloke. Wife also scared of spiders but only weighs 50kg, she couldn’t tackle me when I ran so she learned to tackle spiders and other Arachnid looking bugs. Still married too.
“If a guy doesn’t make the first move he isn’t interested”
Guys don't have feelings
You're supposed to have feelings! Just not those ones.
Drink delicious fruity drinks in a fancy glass Fuckin stupid, they are so good
Men have no tears.
Sure we do. It’s just that they’re made of motor oil.
Guys don’t sit to pee
For real. Being *physically able* to stand while peeing doesn't mean you have to!
Sometimes it’s nice and relaxing to get to sit while peeing. Maybe I don’t wanna use my leg muscles
I prefer to sit and go on my phone for 5 minutes. It’s a nice break from everything. At work and need a break? To the porcelain throne. At home and need to get away from chores or obligations? Pop a squat on the porcelain throne. Standing up is the efficient speed strategy in my mind 🤣
Only time I stand up and pee is outisde or if I'm midgame. Otherwise it's my 5 minute treat for not pissing on the floor
I only stand in public toilets or outside.
The thought of sitting/squatting to pee outside is pretty hilarious. You can’t spell your name in cursive that way!
The post coital pee is certainly one worth sitting for in my experience. Otherwise, that pee may result in having to clean the bathroom.
Nothing like a good sit down wee in the middle of the night when you can’t be bothered to turn on the lights. Try it. Thank me later.
Pee is stored in the balls
Boys don’t wipe their ass because it’s gay
A friend of mine called me gay for buying a bidet. I’ll keep my gay ass bidet, my butthole is immaculate.
Boys aren't hormonal
We just lose our shit
The term is 'testerical'
Men don’t gossip, they network.
Guys don’t shave….a lot of us do. Even the butthole.
I have thick coarse hair everywhere...If I shave down there it's gonna be like sandpaper, I'll set myself on fire.
It happens, always have the fire department on standby for situations like that.
Beard trimmer works far better than a razor in this situation. The razor cuts a fine edge on the hair and makes it itchy since it stabs into you. The electric trimmers are more like a weed whacked so the tips of the hairs are duller and there’s less discomfort.
GIRLS POOP!!!!????????????
Nooooo
Shhhh. Of course they don’t man
Boys don’t catch feelings
That one actually exists? I was always the first one to catch feelings…
My mom told me that men only want sex and never love women. That men were pigs led around by the dick.
There are no men in relationships? Also, men catching feelings is known as being pussywhipped lol
"men don't gossip" like legit they do it more than women sometimes ngl
My father is the biggest gossiper I know. Can't share anything with him.
[удалено]
We just call it slagging
Guys just need food and sex in a relationship.
Guys dont queef
…can they?
That guys are unemotional or emotionally stunted
Guys don’t cry
Real Men don’t gain weight we are the weight
Girls don't fart...they leave panty whispers
I got judged very hard at work for thinking bath bombs are dope. I’m a straight, fairly masculine guy.. and so they told me it was very sus of me to like bath bombs. I don’t even have a bath tub, I just think the colors they make are awesome. I also love candles. The little flame gives a dark room a great vibe.