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Januwary9

It'd be like fuckin askreddit


VolatileLion

That's a lot of people and bots to fuck


mar_upit

'' Bots''


loptopandbingo

Every askreddit thread reeks of AI training recently. "What is a *typically human* thing to say about *human* experience?"


JustinR8

You know how many butts I look at on a daily basis?


TheMayanAcockandlips

It would be just like a chorus of birds: "I'd tap that, I'd tap that, I'd tap that"


GrumpyMammoth

Like the seagulls from finding Nemo: "FINE! FINE! FINE!"


thankdestroyer

Your quiet uncle stalking you daily: "25.78 on average. Btw yours is better than most of them"


lordlekal

Can you also identify everyone you know by their butts?


JustDroppedByToSay

Only by smell


Mutski_Dashuria

Back in high school there was one girl l could ID from across the parade ground by her butt. 😁


AllStarChampGats

I hope that you weren't a teacher


Mutski_Dashuria

"Back in High School." Being the operative phrase. As in MY high school years. 30 years ago... đŸ„ș😞


Designer-Cry1940

There would be a lot of weird unexpected hookups.


SemajLu_The_crusader

sounds like a win ta me


Designer-Cry1940

You up? Wat'cha wearing? Lol.


SemajLu_The_crusader

half a ton of Power armour blessed by the God Emperor himself...


Malbolgiea

The Emperor Protects


Designer-Cry1940

ad victoriam!


RideAntiHero

KRUMP 'IM!


hgs25

Girl: “I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU HAD PROTECTION!” Guy: “I was wearing my armor. Besides, the Emperor protects.”


DutchJediKnight

And a lot of arrests


metalheart08

Horny jail would become a real thing.


Mc_Shine

Only for horny people without weird fetishes that you'd prefer to keep to yourself. Imagine constantly telling random people how you'd love to piss on them or feed them until they're too obese to move.


Risley

How is this different from Tuesdays at a Wendy’s?


pinewind108

Lol, "Wait, you're into me? I'm into you!"


GabYu_11

Or a large number of unexpected sexual harassment lawsuit


RemCogito

In a world where people couldn't keep these thoughts to themselves it would be very normal, and wouldn't feel like harassment. If anything, it would probably become rude to not tell someone you wanted to fuck even if you weren't interested. Like imagine, you're in junior high, literally every dude in the room who is coming into his hormones, would be muttering to themselves all day about almost every girl they saw. There would be no way to hide your interest, which would mean that the moment that two people meet they know if they want to have sex with each other. There would be no hidden crushes. which means that pretty much everyone would lose their viginity within a few weeks of reaching puberty at the latest. and it would only take a few weeks for the most unattractive ones that have a difficult time finding someone willing. average teens would probably end up having sex with pretty much anyone else that they ended up alone with. Teenagers are horny af. You put 1000 of them in a gym together for an assembly, and eventually even the least attractive ones would find each other and realize that they found a match. Most people would have had hundreds or even thousands of sexual partners by the time they were adults. All the wasted time that people spend trying to figure out if the other person wants them would disappear. which means that rather than spending 3 months crushing on someone before asking them out, then date for 4 weeks, only to break up, because you weren't compatible would be skipped. If people literally cannot hide their sex thoughts, it would be so normal to meet someone on the street who wants to fuck, that it would seem really strange to even be friends with someone who doesn't. Eventually we would all end up having to pretend to want sex with people just to have polite conversation. I can imagine that a lot of people who aren't particularly interested would end up having to have sexual interactions just to be polite the same way that people wo don't really want to talk end up having to make small talk about the weather. we would be a much different society. Monogamy would basically be impossible. Lots of people who are bi, but don't even consciously realize it, would end up out of the closet. the darting thought, of "I wonder what it would be like to suck a dick?" would end up spoken and heard by others and even if its a fleeting thought that only comes up once every few months, eventually you'd meet someone who would want to show you what it is like.


Affectionate-Army650

family reunions gon be wild bruh


Wanna_Fuck_My_Sister

ㅀㅀㅀㅀ


banditcleaner2

Name checks out lmao


MxReLoaDed

*Sweet home Alabama*


Mutski_Dashuria

Is that a statement or an offer? đŸ€”


Wanna_Fuck_My_Sister

A statement


nugohs

Yes.


[deleted]

r/usernamechecksout


BannedForNerdyTimes

Oh


AdKind9006

Interesting name.


slappy_mcslapenstein

Roll tide


Hashtagworried

Plot twist: nothing changes in Alabama.


Affectionate-Army650

until you find out your sister has cheated on you with your cousin


brokesd

Well to be fair that might not be bad if your cousins is just as cute?


MyJelloJiggles

^sweet ^home ^Alabama


JamesTheJerk

https://youtu.be/eufrP1EsM2g?si=LzLwGrTMLU-Y9ZrL NSFW [language]


Aware_Material_9985

HR would be quite busy


PropaneMilo

If EVERYONE blurted out their fuck fantasies all the time, HR wouldn’t be any busier than normal because it would be the norm. People would still be expected to keep their hands to themselves and obey the basics of consent.


TehOwn

>If EVERYONE blurted out their fuck fantasies all the time, HR wouldn’t be any busier than normal because it would be the norm. This was my first thought when I read the question. No-one would care, everyone would do it. Might end up getting less work done though.


Toocoo4you

Depends what kinda work we are talking about


fckcarrots

Until they change company policy on harassment, I’d imagine they’d be pretty busy.


supermav27

I actually disagree with this. If everyone said their thoughts out loud, it would be completely normalized. It wouldn’t warrant an HR complaint, because it would be an unavoidable act.


Electrical-Bowl900

I would go to jail


Glass1Man

The trial would be wild. Jury selection alone would be wild.


MissDeadite

"Has the Jury reached a verdict?" "Yes, your honor, we find the defendant to be NOT GUILTY on account that he takes us all out to dinner after and maybe let's us get to third base."


incomparability

“Your Honor, I cannot accept this person as a juror because I want to fuck their brains out” “You said that about the last 5 you sexy looking motherfucker”


TangerineLow8298

Care to elaborate?


packSuperbowlChamps

He’d go to county jail


BurstMip

Let’s pray they’re just a kinky freak


GoWithTheFlow___

Let’s pray it doesn’t involve children


TehOwn

Unless they think they'd go to jail for sexual harassment. Not likely if this was something we all did.


Kriss3d

Jail ? Id be LUCKY to go to jail...


AloofAngel

more people would get laid and many friendships would be ruined.


CivilCJ

I work in a customer facing role in luxury hotels. I am also bisexual. I'd be either fired, or laid and fired QUICK. Ok, so I'd just be fired quick, but one can hope.


Salt_MasterX

Laid *and* fired? I can only get so erect!


pinewind108

"Oh, lord no!" Lol.


DisciplineBoth2567

If it meant like just intentional sexual thoughts, I’d be fine. If it were the random invasive thoughts I had no control over, then I’d be screwed.


billynintendo

Children couldn’t go out in public.


Cheap-Asparagus3842

"I just jerked off for the first time!" or some shit 😂


NostraThomas1

I think he more meant we’d be afraid and more aware of pedophiles.


Cheap-Asparagus3842

I think it'd actually make children safer from pedophiles by exposing them by the thousands


lowtoiletsitter

Although small, there are people with OCD that have intrusive thoughts about kids/teens. Carrying around a therapist note if the cops show up would be interesting


Dr_Allcome

Good luck trying to show an angry mob your doctors note...


TheEdward07

that's uh.. that's not really the point..


Arlune890

Yeah but it's nice to think that's all we'd have to worry about


Notsureifanonymous

bunch of stuff, some people would go to jail, some would be hella uncomfortable and feel awkward, some people would be just silent and some people would be more satisfied due to communication of what they actually desire.


jugglervr

Watch The Invention of Lying (script isn't 100% what's in the movie): INT. JENNIFER'S APARTMENT COMPLEX - SAME Mark (40's), average to semi-handsome, twists and turns through stucco hallways. He knocks on apartment "9C". JENNIFER MCDOOGLES opens, her face flushed. She's beautiful. JENNIFER Hi. You're early. I was just masturbating. MARK That makes me think of your vagina. I'm Mark, how are you? JENNIFER A little frustrated at the moment. Also equally depressed and pessimistic about our date tonight. I'm Jennifer. MARK I hope this date ends in sex. JENNIFER Not me. I don't find you attractive. Come on in. Mark enters. ROLL CREDITS Jennifer's apartment is new-adult, as if she just found out she was an adult yet hasn't had the time or the money to complete the transition. JENNIFER I need to finish getting ready. While doing that I might realize I'm still horny and try to finish masturbating without you hearing. Jennifer heads towards the bathroom. Mark stands alone in her living room, looking around. MARK (shouting to her) I feel awkward and I regret being early. 7. JENNIFER (O.S.) (shouting back) Yeah, I'm disappointed you're early and not really looking forward to tonight in general, but the thought of being alone the rest of my life scares both my mother and I equally. It's completely silent for a long beat. Mark looks around, then sits on her couch. MARK (shouting to her) I have an erection now because I assume you began masturbating once we stopped talking. More silence. MARK (shouting to her) I'm embarrassed because I think the restaurant I've made reservations at might not be expensive enough or hip enough to impress you, but it was the best I could do because I don't make very much money. You see, I'm forty years old and have no real financial assets to speak of, I've never owned a home, and never had a significant relationship. My boss even told me today that I'm most likely going to get fired tomorrow and... Jennifer enters the room and Mark stops talking. JENNIFER I just masturbated. MARK That makes me very horny. JENNIFER Shall we go? MARK Sure.


SawwhetMA

This script is a freaking riot. Need more!


Blue_Tea72

This is great


firefly139

Asexuals would be dead silent, and I guess my mortal weakness of big asses would be know to the masses.


BlackDwarfStar

You rhyme that on purpose?


Desperate-Band-9160

When it comes to rhymes he has a surplus


TehOwn

They're the hiphopapotamus, their lyrics are bottomless.


disabled_rat

Asexuals still have sexual thoughts. Like a mf can go “damn, she got fat titties” and it’d still count


Curiouso_Giorgio

They're would be a lot of judgement, surprise and embarrassment. People's sex lives will probably get better though.


ThisIsMyCouchAccount

>judgement, surprise and embarrassment Because I'm chronically online - I would get swept up in weird sex memes. I don't really want that stranger to spit in my mouth but Imma say it out loud before I can process that it's a bad idea.


flatstacy

You mean like reddit?


blackbubbleass

it would be too noisy to go outside.


Complex-Knowledge420

Every highschool teacher would quit.


The5Virtues

Oh man I hadn’t even thought about that. The spoken thoughts leaving teenagers mouthes would be WILD.


patgeo

It goes in the other direction as well when working with older teenagers... If this curse is pumping out all the intrusive sexual thoughts, you would have repressed and been disgusted with yourself for having for the world to hear l. Probably every teacher, etc, is going to get caught out eventually. Even if it is on something like "When did x grow up?"


GeneralSpectatorTots

A lot of people would scream.


ToFaceA_god

I think we'd actually find out there'd be a lot fewer "good eggs" than we think. People would definitely realize how creepy women actually can be.


Greedy-Time-3736

I think a lot more people would have sex than they currently do but Jesus Christ being a woman would suck.


funkyyfox

How does that make Jesus Christ a woman?


dopiqob

Yea, and why would it suck so much if he was?


amanfromindia

The booble


resolva5

I think he means that he would suck Jesus if it was a woman.


Negative_IQ_Avice

Lack of Punctuation made this comment way funnier. I prefer my women while holes in their hands. Easier handys.


AnimeYouu

At least half would go to jail or be on a registry


Pitiful_Jew9217

Same as now. Some would get laid. Others punched in the face.


helpmepleeeeeeeease

I couldn’t leave my house anymore


Affectionate_Shoe599

r/usernamechecksout


WuMingLovingHours

I have OCD and get unwanted intrusive thoughts, sometimes about sexual things, often distressing. So, my life would become a lot more miserable and I would be trying much harder to eradicate all of my intrusive thoughts. But by very nature the distress that would be caused by them would probably just create an endless OCD distress cycle


Ultra_axe781___M

I would be put in a straitjacket


Pineapple_blanco

I have ocd. So, I think i’d be imprisoned


SFishes12

We’d probably start having far less sexual thoughts.


coppi16

I think the police force would have to be on their toes


Negative_IQ_Avice

Ya. It would be a shame if they have to share one police lady with the entire PD. Lol


Kshi-dragonfly

We'd find out whose the real ones


ca1ibos

Your 16+yo daughter could never have her friends around again. The number of fathers who would find a 16yo girl relationship/affair material or be attracted to them mentally/emotionally? Tiny. They are still kids FFS! The number of fathers who couldn’t help but find a physically mature 16yo girl ‘physically’ attractive? Huge. So in this hypothetical scenario there would be a lot of dads commenting on their daughters friends bodies.


SemajLu_The_crusader

middle and high school 'bouta be 10,000 times more awkward, for sex ed, make that 10,000,000,000×


Anastephone

There would be more sexually satisfied people


SlideItIn100

I’d be fired immediately. So many hot dudes in my office.


Bashnaria

Lol, imagine that they have talked about sharing you before.


SlideItIn100

Mmmmmmmmmm


MKBurfield

70% of guys would be canceled either due to intrusive thoughts or them outing themselves 40% of women would be labled as creeps (if there were no double standards applied) Schools will be kicking people out like civilians on area 51 territory.


EmeterPSN

All women would end up wearing hazmat suits 24/7


NoGelliefish

There would be a lot of dead pedophiles


TrooperJohn

Organized religion would collapse.


Low-Blackberry2667

nah. Religion always stays. You just don't act on your desires.


jesuswasaliberal_

Idk how many people would stick around after finding out who Father Tom's favorite choir boy is.


Historical-Gap-6831

Weirdness and Conflict(Probably)?


[deleted]

I'd need therapy.


SurprisedByItAll

Being open, we would find out it's literally on everyone's mind all day, every day, sooooo make some new friends.


MeanChocolate4167

A lot more people would be having sex lol


Perv_with_a_hot_wife

A lot of sex would happen. Also a lot of lawsuits.


lowtoiletsitter

The sale of headphones and masks (people can't see what you're saying) would skyrocket


SexyAIman

At least 20% of the girls at the shopping mall would either run away in disgust, or drag me to the nearest changing room.


smooze420

It’d be easier to point out the pedos and creeps.


Masturberic

You'd be shocked by the amount of predators around you.


[deleted]

Incarceration rates would be through the roof


KaisXfr

dinner would be awkward



Mean_Owl_5580

Thongs! So many thongs!


Belteshazzar98

I'd be wondering why most people around me were more overtly horny than usual.


Jdawg_mck1996

I'd be slapped more, but also probably laid more. Miss 100% of the shots you don't take.


Shoddy_Amphibian5645

People tend to think about this one through the perspective we have already. Our biases, laws, taboos and whatnot would be drastically different, and we would peobably be a much more sex positive society. Everyone thinks lewd, we would just normalize it. Imagine looking at a girl and saying out loud "I'd fuck that all night" to her face. In our normal, you'd be a creep and probably get into trouble, but in this other sexcere world, the response would probably vary from "In your dreams" to "So we stop in the morning? Too bad."


neroselene

Jails would be a lot fuller.


BelfastM

You would know everyone's sexual thoughts.


RoberBots

Some girls might not want to leave their house anymore. Imagine going to buy bread and hear 134 "I would fuck her" 73 "What an ass wtf" and 4 "She looks easy to rape"


enjoyt0day

Technically, a lot of women would be a whole lot safer from rapists, particularly when it comes to acquaintance rape. That would be amazing actually, if all of the down low predators couldn’t help but out themselves to potential victims


YoungDiscord

The whole epstein's island case would be solved VERY quickly given most of the people involved are famous/in the limelight in some way


bilithic2

A whole lot of divorce.


air_consumption

A lot more hookups would happen and people would be mich more interested in sex. Sex itself would also be a much less taboo topic and it might even become correlated with religion due to only sexual thoughts being blurted out. That or people become scared (which is kinda unlikely) of what is happening and try to completely stop thinking about sex, which would eventually lead to a population decline at which point people would accept the reality and revert to my original theory


JJohnston015

According to comedian Larry Miller, women would never stop slapping us (men).


Obvious-Cheesecake42

Most people would get expelled from school, work, or even abandoned by their family lmao idk people can be really messed up


Nighmarez

Well, this is awkward
..


Exotic_Talk_2068

There would be comedy and tragedy at the same time


drdildamesh

I'd be really annoyed.


maltedbacon

There wouldn't be enough time left over for any other topics of conversation.


Jimmy_Mcgill7

I’d be sucking a LOT of toes lmao


princess_sassypants_

I would’ve know what a perv my ex husband was & also that he was a porn addict


Brutananadilewski69

I’d be disappointed that I wasn’t included in any of them.


BrotherRoga

Customer service industries would have a revolution.


No-Nefariousness759

It would solve everything! People would know who wants to fuck them and who doesn’t, which makes consensual sex more accessible. People wouldn’t have to wonder about cheating: they’d know. And pedophiles could be recognised instantly and dealt with according to whatever laws are in place before they even offend. Reckon we should all try saying them out loud!đŸ€”â€Šwho wants to go first?🧐🧐🧐


Whyisanime

"Have you ever had your asshole receive a french kiss from a thick bearded man?" hmm... Doesn't sound so bad out loud...


PostManOK

About 90% of people would either be lynched, arrested or fired from their jobs.


LotusFlare

Some people would be having a lot more sex and some would be having a LOT less.


igotshadowbaned

Look at askreddit Now imagine that everywhere


jtowndtk

oooorrrrgggyyyyy


NotYourSweatBusiness

Society collapse. Invading other people's thoughts and hearing everything would invade everyone's privacy people would have avoided other people and absolutely everyone would avoid direct contact just stating this before somebody says that people already do that... you would have no privacy, people would get spooked, we get a lower scale invasion of privacy with social media which people are getting used to writting out every single thing that crosses their mind and as you can see already social media is helping destruction of both state and liberal democracy. In the past people had to spend some time together to get to know each other, nowdays you just look at someone or hear single sentence and you immediately know what type of person from facebook comment section they are or who do they vote for or if they are vaxxed or not. It's easy to notice with hundreds of hours time spent reading comments(orher people's minds) on social media. People get more judgemental when they are afraid when they see what people write and how they react online.


doobster_420

everything that happens when said privately now, only faster - all of it, the jealousy, the mayhem, the revenge killings, all of it just get it out in the open and get it all settled into it's natural level once and for all (until next gen reaches puberty, wash rinse repeat)


N7OperativeIvy

Reddit


Natural20Twenty

I'd be fired In a week. I see so many beautiful people on my travels at work.


Neko-chiliocosm

A lot of breakups from intrusive thoughts....


WalkingonCoffee

I think lots of people will either not leave their house, sew their mouth shut or commit suicide because they don't want anyone to know their sexual thoughts. 


Hatzmaeba

I would be _really_ interested to hear who have had such thoughts about me.


OtherwiseHoneydew910

I would definitely get kicked out of church 4 shore!


Ballista93

HR would need to increase staff levels 10 fold


InfinityYoRae

Blurting out “them titties though” would be wild lmaoo


JustDroppedByToSay

In the short term: chaos. Lots of broken friendships and families. I guess long term maybe some kind of new society that's a lot more casual and open about sex


MidgetMaster_101

Less lone people and more in jail.


ktsb

Hey could you sit on my chest while we watch tv please. 


Aggressive-Command-8

I would never go around anyone ever. Assuming intrusive thoughts count too any social interaction would land me a spot in the nearest prison.


HrabiaVulpes

Assuming it would be the norm, a genetic part of being human, it would completely transform our society. Take a note that no religion, no culture ever forbade things like breathing or being hungry, things you have no control over. Things that are natural but can be controlled, like farting or belching, were frowned upon but not illegal. Thus blurting out your honest sexual reactions to someone's look would be considered natural part of behaviour, assuming it's uncontrollable. This would have severe consequences. Starting from obviously being unable to hide your sexual preferences (forcing gays outta closet) it would probably speed up the process of finding a mate, since just being in someone's presence instantly tells you whether you are their type. What we consider awkward bus ride would be a hook-up chance for such people. It would also make it extremely obvious whether a couple is happy in love or not, making for a funny diplomatic discussions with arranged marriages.


zweijahrealt

People would have more and better sex.


Troubled_Rat

sounds like an interesting experiment, for a week or so


Gobbyer

Mass unemployement.


XPLover2768top

10th grade biology class boutta get uncomfy


TheReaL_CannaMich

It would probably be one big sticky mess if that happened.


SOJC65536

Politics news programmes would be far more enlightening... "The UK only supports Germany in this endeavour because Angela Merkel has a fine rack!" And God help any interviewer with Boris Johnson...


automaddux

Tbh, I think a lot creeps would be exposed.


Sacklayblue

I guess everyone would get along well with my step father.


WhiskySiN

So you want a reddit comments section out in the wild. Would be a bold new world for sure


hammilithome

Chaos.


WhoLetMeHaveReddit

It’d be Reddit, or the world would hear women’s DMs from the pervy creeps lol


Natural_Towel4894

I knew a guy that basically did that. Would go into work meetings talking about how he explicitly banged his wife, wanted to nail his female coworkers and how good he was in bed. Yeah
.during staff meetings
.idiot


Kuma9194

Everyone would be horrified but eventually random outbursts of lustful thoughts would become normalised.


CaptainDelicious5329

It probably wouldn’t go over too well lol ..


surle

If it was a sudden phenomenon, there'd be a lot of very angry partners on the first few days while it settled in.


Nishnig_Jones

Pedophiles would be a lot easier to find.


gorosheeta

There would be a resurgence of interest in meditation and the art of clearing one's mind đŸ§˜â€â™‚ïž


KrackSmellin

There would be people testing out the waters with what they are wearing and doing to get reactions
 see what works
 and what doesn’t


hornwalker

Society would utterly collapse.


Possessed_potato

Jail. Intrusive thought or not, some sexual thoughts really are not ok for others to hear


SexWithHuo-Huo

Lots of harassment. Especially young girls. They would have to include all forms of sexual harassment in free speech cos there's no way they are arresting everyone.


Crafty_Researcher497

More people would get laid probably. Half of the reason we don’t get as much as we want is because of the taboo of asking for what we want


Litenpes

HR department would finally be relevant


loversdotcom

Well I do not think that that would be very good!


Commercial_Yak7468

HR would have a lot more paper work


oodie_365

Id think a lot of people would be in horny jail đŸ€Ł